How To Keep Your Marriage Fun, Couples Fitness Challenges & Dealing With Workplace Crushes | SheerLuxe Podcast

0:00You're listening to the Shearlax Team podcast. Expect fashion inspo, dilemma solving and all the latest recommendations you could possibly want from the Shearlax Team. Don't forget also to please subscribe to our channel. Check out our free newsletter that lands in your inbox every single day and follow us on Instagram and TikTok too. On this week's pod, we are talking all about my marriage resolutions for 2026. I mean, they're super simple, but like go to a new restaurant once a month. yeah do something fun once a month that isn't around booze or food like yeah like get a hobby we see a side of my that we've never seen before wow i actually say i love you a scary amount of times a day but you just say it like love you i'll get really close and give him a hug and get his ear and i'll just say i love you so much we are talking about our fashion vines from mango and h &m like a polo top with shoulder pads we're so in tune we are so have you just bought it it's like fastest thing at first with h &m yeah yeah and also your dilemmas maybe have an honest conversation with your partner and say oh no don't do that that's the worst of my thing but it's a really fun one and good for the soul chicken soup type of one so definitely give it a whirl

1:28Welcome to the ShareLikes podcast. I'm your host Hodge and today I'm joined by Laura Black and Maya Lucky. We are talking about things we're loving, our fashion picks of the week and as always we'll be answering your dilemmas. But before we jump in please hit subscribe, it's the fastest way to stay up to date with all of our latest content. Hi girls! Hello! I know we've just spent the whole day together. we've just moved from the desk to here our desk does literally transfer it's quite nice okay should we get to it things we're loving what have you got for me i'm actually loving not wearing foundation in january i haven't worn any foundation this one i have a lot to say on this topic because a how your skin is so flawless i know glowy as really but also i do sit on the same desk as you and there's a lot of oh I put makeup on but not so what are we putting on caveat I still wear makeup just not wearing foundation foundation in the daytime for me doesn't sit on my skin properly so now I've just gone back to basics so I'm putting on a Charlotte Tilbury flawless filter like as my glowy base and that's your base that's my base instead of a foundation and then this has been a game-changing product it's the um NYX glaze comes in like a yellow and brown bottle it was fairly new last year and I sort of underpaint you know how people were doing that so I do like a brown sort of underpainting a little bit just put it here like where you would bronze it up but just do that and then I put concealer NARS radiant creamy concealer just here here and a bit on my chin and then I blend all of that in and that just forms my base instead of wearing one full foundation color across my whole face okay I think it just makes me look much more like it's more my natural face nothing sort of sits and cracks and creases.

3:15Yeah, it doesn't dry up. No. And you can reapply it, which is what you see me do all day long. Yeah. All day. And as soon as Maya stops putting out makeup, then I stop putting out makeup. It's like a domino effect. I look like a drag queen. And then we all leave here like drag queens. She knows something. Something's coming. What's happening? A camera's going to be here any minute. Quit. I just have to, like, after, if I eat something or drink something, I have to do a quick touch-up afterwards. Okay. Well, you look gorgeous, babe. Thanks. Hodge, what are you loving? Okay, well, listen, I know this is not the audience, but I'm going to talk about a book.

3:52That is so bad of us, isn't it, Maya? We don't read. But I'm just going to talk about it super quickly. Some of us don't have extra dates in our week like you. Hodge came back from holiday and I saw on her Instagram she'd read six books. Yeah, that's crazy. I know, but it's because... Did you speak to anyone? Well, the kids, I don't see the kids because they're just off. But you're with grown-ups too, aren't you? Yeah, but no one really talks unless they, you know, until like lunchtime. Oh, you're just like laying by the bed all day. So breakfast and then we just chill. We were on a family holiday at Christmas, which is what I'm referring to.

4:26And I read six books. That's so impressive. But I read a book a day. I can only get through about half a book on a two week holiday. What do you do? What do you do when you're lying down? Watch. I know my thoughts. This girl can commute without listening to anything. I know. What do you think about? Everything. Anyway, tell us about your book. What is this book? I can't wait to hear about it. Shut up. I feel like that chat was more interesting than what we're about to hear. Give us a tap when you're done. But I feel like for the book lovers out there, I feel I have to share this because it is, it really touched my soul.

5:01I was like crying my heart out on the flight on the way home. It's a love story. It's called Broken Country by Claire Leslie Hall. It's a Reese Witherspoon book club pick and I always think she's got good taste. It's basically about this girl called Beth and there's a love triangle. Her husband, Frank, and then her first love is this guy called Gabriel, based in the UK. And it's set in three timelines and they run alongside each other. So it's the past when she's with Gabe, the first love. It's then her relationship with her husband and then it's the present. And the present is set in a trial for murder.

5:35So you're sort of weaving them all three alongside her at the same time. But you don't know who's on trial for murder. oh my god okay so you get to that right at the end it's funny because she's the villain but you really root for her because of sort of these tragic things that have happened but it is so worth reading like please read it it's so good for your soul i quite like crying you read it you'll get through you're like hooked instantly you'll get through it so quickly you won't be able to put it down like you know when you keep thinking about it you don't know i do when i read the nightingale i carried it around like a pet for like another hour after because i was so sad it was over yeah just came with me maybe you've got the power to do this yeah honestly it's good anyway i highly recommend it what's it called again it's called broken country by claire leslie hall it will definitely be a netflix drama apart from the uk bit it does sound like something that reese witherspoon would yeah it could it could be anywhere it's just it's just it's like heartbreaking and you know there's good sex in her you do like a book i know we were laughing earlier because we i'm we've been told that um heated rivalry is super horny but i just didn't give me the horn but this book will i find it so different um i have got she's like my secret weapon this lady she is called renata noon she'll do massage but she combines it with acupuncture she was a physio and she combines it all with a bit of cupping and it's literally an hour and a half of absolute oh an hour and a half that's lovely heaven wow and she's at 180 this round i've been to her she's so nice yeah i really really trust her and yeah just leave like you know when you have a massage you have a massage and it's like really it's like nice isn't it but You leave and you feel like she's done good.

7:31Like she's realigned you. And I just leave with like an extra spring in my step. And I feel like my body is all in the right place. She's heaven. She comes to your house. Oh, she comes to my house. But I've also seen her in locations. And it's just. It does sound pretty dreamy.

7:54Okay, should we delve into a bit of celeb? Let's do it. The thing that's piqued my interest is I was reading the Saturday Times and there was an article talking about Brooklyn Beckham and that he has taken legal action against his parents. It's issued a legal letter to say, please, can they not contact him on social media or comment or like any of his posts because it causes him mental distress. But is that very recent, the letter? Yes. Yeah. It's because she liked one of his posts, isn't it? Victoria liked it. She liked a recipe. there's been so many rumors but you know I think it all started when apparently about the wedding and I think there was like disputes between Victoria and Nicola throughout the wedding and you know famously she didn't wear one of Victoria Beckham's wedding dress designs which you know each are their own but I can imagine for Victoria that maybe there was a conversation she thought she was and then she changed her mind like who knows how it played out yeah but it's been since then but then they seem to be back together and there was a couple of appearances where they were there i just feel like we probably don't know much yeah and a family fallout is so i think it's so sad and hard anyway it's just it's just to me it feels like crazy that as soon as you you know and i think about me with my three children that as soon as somebody else comes in the family dynamic changes.

9:19Yeah, which is natural. You know, as the mum of the son, whose wife is probably the boss, in terms of, you know, let's see my parents this weekend or let's see your parent, like, you've got to be nice to the daughter-in-law. You've got to play the game. It's very Meghan and Harry, very Diana. And Harper's, well, she's 14. Yeah. It's a weird thing for her to navigate being so young. How long has it been going on? Since they got married. I'd say at least, well, I think last year sort of escalated because they did their vow renewal, which is extraordinary. They're only been married about six months.

9:57And then he commented, he made like an Instagram post saying, I love you, baby. You're my whole world. I only need you. I hope they reconcile. To be continued. I know. To be continued. um okay talking about relationships our other celebrity topic of the week is pdas yeah there's been quite a few recently obviously timothy and kylie yeah with his announcement at the critics choice award that thank you so much to my foundation my partner for three years side note yeah that's a whole lot of conversation how have they been together that long i feel that we have been sold down the river then by keeping up with the kardashians because i thought they were supposed to document everything and i did not know about that he obviously didn't want to be on how dare they keep that for you i need to have a chat i think they're super cute though i'm very team i yes so it was very sweet so he said my foundation my love i love you and then she mouthed back I love you I know you're so cute I love PDA love it you love PDA I don't know yeah I don't know I don't know how much I believe it really no come on you think it's still a real relationship I think it's like a solidifying laying down to everybody yeah she's mine yeah which is nice you know I love it but it could be like look remember Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes when he went on Oprah's sofa and went crazy and jumped up and down and said, I'm in love, I'm in love.

11:35Can you remember that? No, I don't remember that. That sounds extraordinary. What? Can you remember that? It was massive. Anyway, then they got married and then they got divorced pretty quick. But maybe, like, is it because she said to him, right, I need you to tell the world that we're together? Like, do you think she said, listen, now is the time. You're about to get an Oscar, a girls at Globe. I want to be there. I don't know about that. I don't think so. She's like, she's a billionaire age, whatever. she's super successful I don't think she needs that but like there's that and then there's Stephen Graham oh love him and his wife and there's something so much more that does feel more genuine I would agree with you yeah but is that because they've been married for 25 years not three and they're older even if it's three that it's like he genuinely wanted to like yes party with her and I know so sweet so Stephen Graham won best actor the golden boat so his role in adolescence and he got up in his acceptance speech he was like he said she saved his life oh i love him he is so sweet and he he i was watching something else which he'd done and somebody was like well if you could have six people to do in a party who would you have he said my wife and my mom and dad because i want my mom i want my dad i want to see my dad see my mom again oh my god so sweet that's true love he's so gorgeous he's such a lovely man he's nice and And she, yeah, because she's a producer and director and an actress and he suffers from horrendous dyslexia.

13:03So I think they really work together with the team. But it's funny, that isn't icky. No. But I don't know, is it because they're older? I don't know. Did you find Timothy and Kylie icky? I found it quite a statement. Yeah. Yeah, I did too. But I just think that's not saying we are. Like a contrived statement. It's not saying that I don't believe it. It felt PR. But it felt like it was PR. Yeah. Aw. She was primed to go. the cameras were ready on her. Yeah, exactly. Like, what would you say if your husband was on stage and said, I love you? Would you not be like, I'd say, love you. I would do the same.

13:34I don't know that I could, you know. I'd probably go like this. He'd stand up and shout, I love you too, baby. I think I'd just go, yeah. I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I could. No, I don't think I could either. I could. I don't think I, well, you're probably right. I actually say I love you a scary amount of times a day. But do you just say it like, love you? No, no, I'm like, I love you. Ooh, creepy. I actually, because he works at home all the time, he works at home, I often will just go up to him and go...

14:11I'll get really close and give him a hug and get up to his ear and I'll just say, I love you so much. I'm all gone. Wow. I do that all the time. Maya, that is another side of you. You are so not needy at work. Oh no, I'm obsessed with Callum. Wow. Babe, that is wild. Two wholly different vibes. Oh, I'm crying. Gosh. I'm not into that. It did that to me. I mean, I'm going to get away, you creep. I would be more likely to do, James. The gag is that I'm like, I love you more than you love me. Oh my God, the gag is in our house. He comes towards me and my hands go up like this. I literally, I just don't want to be touched and hugged.

14:57I'm so cold. What a bitch. Oh, Laura. Yeah. No, I would love more affection. No, don't need any more. I'm always like, you know, I want you to squeeze my ass as you walk off. Do you actually? Yeah. So annoying. But I don't want, I love you. Okay, you want more sexy time. I want to swear to affirmations if Laura doesn't want to be touched. We're all so different. He's going to be

15:34I think he secretly loves you. He loves you. Do you know if you stop doing it he'll be like don't do it for two weeks he will be so scared. He'll probably be like why don't you love me anymore? Do it. Do it. Let's make a test. Watch his face. Let's see if we can play with him. Let's hope he doesn't listen. We just like But it's so funny because Maya is such badass at work do you know what I mean you really like your nails totally baffling like we're probably like sweeter we're like no it's fine I mean I'm still quite cold but yeah yeah but I'm nice to everyone I mean it is so nice to like be so does he like it in love yeah he does I bet he really loves it yeah he definitely and it doesn't like you know you're pretty hot yeah lucky Callum I don't say it's sexy though.

16:22Just put, like it is a very like keepsy eye. You don't, you don't go, it's not a little girl voice. No. I think we might have to stop that if it was. Do you do baby voices? No. No. Do you? No. No, not real ones. Baffling. Not real ones. What does that mean? I thought I knew. I thought you were going to laugh. Like what? Like would James not put on a funny voice if he was like. Yeah, but you wouldn't do a baby. Come on, an example. Come on, come on, kill me. I think it's actually just his way of manipulating me into doing stuff though, to be fair. Oh, he's like, please baby, baby, baby. I'm just small.

17:06I'm like, okay. He has got you. We're not editing any of it. We're wrapped around his little finger. Yeah, that's why he takes my whispering because you know. Yeah. okay so we are pro PTA I am not I'm still not no but like no snogging and stuff in public okay no none of that draw the line at that but you can say nice things in front of other people about your partner I really agree because that raises them up too okay wow let's give Maya a break do you feel like you've just laid yourself there don't worry I'll cut it

17:51let's do a bit of fashion yeah let's go back to something we're comfortable okay what are you loving it's hard this time of year isn't it because there's a when you wouldn't even go to the shops no but what have you found online what are you loving so mine is about reinventing what i've got a bit and i've mulled over i've been watching trini for a while and she always she loves shoulder pad yeah i love a shoulder pad i'm quite small i like that it gives me a bit of structure yeah but anything with a shoulder pad I know there are a couple on the high street at the moment but usually comes with quite a hefty price tag I always think anyway her um tailor lady has created for Trini and she now sells them these like vests with a shoulder pad in so suddenly like all your you know generic knitwear high street knitwear whatever suddenly feels quite elevated yes and i've worn them to death is it a body no it's not a body it's like a tight vest and it's got a deep v so you could wear it with you know something does it feel like you're putting underwear on rather than like a top on yeah yeah okay so you don't have to wear a bra no you do there's no support in it okay yeah and do they wash well because i have found some of the high street tops of shoulder pads in don't like the shoulder pads don't wash very well so They come out a bit misshapen.

19:12Yes, so far I've only washed them both once. And so far, so good. But I always hang on a hanger so that they get the shape. Oh, that's smart. I don't know that. I'm too much of a rusher. Yeah, you've got to keep the shape. Okay. I'd probably hand wash now. I've done the washing machine. I don't have to hand wash. What, delicate? Yeah. Or hand wash? Short, delicate. Amazing. I'm going to get those. I always have shoulder pads. If I find like a vintage blazer, I get shoulder pads sewn in. But with the top, so good. so good my next is h &m denim which i love but they do an ultra high waist denim what under the boobies i love them where's the bell have you got them on now no it's not these but they come probably about here i like it high i think it's quite flattering i think it's flashing makes your legs look longer yeah and but you've got to go they go quickly and they're in stock at the moment wow so yeah go go what color i've got black but i've actually got them in quite a few colors i literally they're like you wear them quite a lot i always wear them yeah they're so good yeah um and my third is i am going skiing in a few weeks and i haven't been for a while i really wanted good snow boots and i was looking at moon boots because i love them on other people but i think I'm a bit too short they're like quite a lot quite big aren't they yeah and emu have got these super cool like slightly more delicate snowboob but still chunky enough in like gorgeous different colored browns the black sole and then you get the cream for the toss oh nice that's nice really like chic yeah that's kind of chic yeah they're super cozy they're lush okay yeah love looking forward to the ski looks yes what about you babe oh i've just seen olivia atwood wear the most insane faux fur coat on her instagram in paris oh my god isn't it good so nice what is it it's from helsa on oh yeah it's floor length it looks like those vintage those really old school vintage like italian honors yeah and a bit you know a bit shoulder yeah shouldery and the um 80s ish what do you call that where it sort of goes down lapel i guess it would have been like foxtails in the back.

21:26Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? The rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so nice looking. I'm not going to buy it, but I think it looks absolutely insane. Oh, mega. Some pre-order on Revolve if anyone wants to go. I found it because I was so obsessed. And then, talking about shoulder pads, there's, H &M have just brought out two colours of like a polo top with shoulder pads. We're so in tune. We are so. Have you just bought it? It's like fastest thing at first with H &M. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, go. Oh my God. I'm excited to wear that. first excited for that i think they're in like 35 quits they're a good price um mine are do you guys know the brand fury yes love best leggings ever i'm obsessed so soft got james and i got matching sets which is probably icky yeah but we're not like he probably wouldn't wear he looks I could tell you very well probably won't wear it out but on mine it's the is it leggings?

22:27yeah I feel like I've seen him in leggings before he doesn't wear leggings no I mean it's the same colour matching is okay strong so mine is a quarter sip hoodie and then matching like wide leg joggers oh you've gone joggers rather than workout oh my god rather than leggings oh my god it's the best thing it's so how they make their material I have no idea it's so cozy and our house is freezing and it's so tasty anyway I highly recommend looking at their active wear and I got quite a few like nice scoop neck like Pilates tops like long sleeve anyway they're really good they also I've had mine a while and they really wear well and I was scared to tumble dry would you tumble dry?

23:10yeah all the time and I wash mine a few times a week and they are really really good they're not the cheapest but I would say they're absolutely worth the investment Yeah. Okay, amazing. And they suck you in, suck you up. Yeah. And then my other thing was a mango quarter neck, another quarter neck sweater. Quarter zip. Quarter zip. We're trying to channel Chanel. Yes. And it's like a sweatshirt material, but oversized, like a khaki brown, but within, you can see the seam is exposed. Nice. Nice. I haven't seen that. Yeah, it's new in mango. so you guys slacking and it's really good but what's interesting it's got a pencil skirt to match it oh that's cool yeah are you gonna rock it i think maybe yeah socks and heels yeah if anyone can it's you oh yeah socks and heels um and then some goldie white barrel leg jeans which is so good i quite like them with the sock yeah i think white denim in winter is lush it's quite hard to find like cosy white denim yeah like good to wear at home I'm a bit scared to go out in it though what are you doing at home like if you've got people you're in your boring you're in your boring when you're at home I don't know if other people are in the house if you invite someone over like with people coming for lunch I wouldn't wear my viore no standards yeah it's like cosy yeah with your camels yes and like a elevated mule I love it white denim and also with nothing underneath I've done these gorgeous sort of brushed flannel shirts and they're so cozy yeah i've worn mine so much well i've got the caramel one to go the white denim can see it all what are you waiting it's coming

25:01okay let's talk about hot topic now this came up yesterday because we were sort of planning what we were going to talk about basically we've just got a ring doorbell which i feel like were the last people in the world to have one but we got one and I was working from home on Friday and I'd gone to Pilates and I'd come home and James sent me a picture of somebody outside the door saying be careful somebody is lingering outside as in the ring doorbell is that somebody is lingering outside and then James screenshot it to me and said be careful this person's outside The scream is that it was me, but I look like such a tramp.

25:41I was, are you going to please put the picture up? I'll put the picture up. But it made me feel, oh my God, I can't, like, I'm always being found. You're being watched. I'm being watched. Yeah. I've got no respite from people knowing where I am. All the time. And now there's video. I do think those ringing door, not that I've got anything to hide, but I don't think I really want everyone in my household knowing every time I come and go through the front door. I know. I want to be able to tell a white lie in case I've popped home for whatever reason. I know. It's quite useful with deliveries. Yeah, I've managed fine with my, without one.

26:18But yeah, I can see it being useful. I do think it's a bit too... Because I've been pushing for it because we had a few packages get nicked before Christmas. But now I didn't really think it through. Yeah, now you're being watched. Now you've got to go through the back door. if you want to see. Or go super low. I know, and it made me think, because we have 360, Live 360. Yeah, we have that too. Because Zach and Ava have got phones and they know where I am all the time. Yeah. So annoying. I don't like it. But we need to know where they are. But we need to know where they are. But James is like, what have you got to hide?

26:56Why don't you want to know? But not in like, are you having an affair with it? But what's the issue, babe? I don't get it. Like, I don't know. So it's funny, and I was looking into tracking this morning, and they say approximately one in five of young adults now consider it a reasonable expectation to track a romantic partner's location. Roughly 13 % of all adults surveyed to find it acceptable to monitor a partner using apps like Life360. Also, studies indicate a privacy paradox where mate guarding through location sharing can positively associate with relationship satisfaction for some. I guess it must be like, in a newish relationship, it could be like, oh, they're serious about me.

27:39I'd be freaked out in a new relationship. You've got to earn that. I don't think it's normal, but maybe this is a new wave of normal type thing for young people. And I do have too much time on their hands, I think. You guys that are doing the survey? No, they don't. I feel like that might be their job. We don't actually care. Yeah, but I think you don't like, I'm not tracking where people are in the day. No, it's, yeah, the kids. And I suppose they're not really going out yet. But I get a notification when they arrive. Yeah. And when they. And then they leave. Ed does ride a motorbike and I do always get a notification saying he's completed a risky drive.

28:18Oh, gosh. So he gets a message. Slow down. That's a whole other subject. Like, I'm not sure I could cope with a partner on a motorbike. No, I don't even like, James Cycles, I don't like that. either yeah i've known it forever i know so how does it work with you and add that and you just don't we just got a circle on life 360 which has well we're like the only one that's got a phone yeah and you can just see and i get notifications yeah like if she's moving around yeah not for you i'm surprised babe you love him so much yeah exactly we don't actually when we're apart we don't really communicate oh do you not no yeah i don't really hear you speaking to him on the phone.

28:56I speak to Shane's quite a lot. No, we don't. We never have done. Even when we did long distance Amsterdam to the UK, we didn't really talk that much. I've been about that. Yeah. We would just, when we saw each other, spend lots of time together. But yeah. He was reserving his conversational energy. We would have gone out of chat. Yeah. We're just not very online like that to each other. I'm not very good on WhatsApp anyway. Like I barely stay in touch with my friends. It's a running joke that I can't reply to any WhatsApp messages, but I can post 10 Instagram stories. I don't reply to emails within seconds um okay last topic january what's your take on it babe i love january controversial i know everyone's like oh it's the most boring month it's the longest month i love it i think it's super cozy i find it very motivating yeah yeah i always feel very inspired in january yeah i agree with that makes you reset yeah but i do find like the order i get the more goals i like try and set like yeah realistic goals yeah but then like i do find now on year's eve i get this like anxiety that's coming and then i try to put it all in place and i like clear the house yeah i do everything and i get frustrated with myself when it doesn't happen straight away so yeah this year i'm gonna try and go a bit easier slightly more gentle yeah like still make it happen but make it like you know just achieve not that like pressure on day one yeah that's fair you gotta you're there for the long game yeah i like reflecting on the year before and like looking at what i did achieve or maybe some things that didn't quite hit the mark or whatever and then really goal set like what's your financial goal what's your relationship oh like i love that yeah and then i would say nine times out of ten i do achieve that and that feels so good yeah look back at the end of the year and you're like yay me yeah I love that yeah what are your goals then most of my goals are around career relationships actually so I think I would like to be much close not closer because I'm very close to my family I would like to concentrate on spending more time with my parents and my sister and my nieces in particular because I just life goes by so far and you don't know what's coming and it's everyone's first life on this planet as well Do you know what?

31:14I feel this so heavily at the moment. What do you mean? I didn't get it. It's your mum and dad's first time. Even if you get annoyed with your mum or whoever, it's their first time being at that stage. So be a little bit more forgiving if they don't get it right because they're also figuring it out. You expect them to know everything. I love that. Go a bit easier on people. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm taking to 2026. I also feel like we all have one life so yeah balance yeah there is that balance yeah you've got to stay true to what you thinking because I know nobody knows what's coming but like we're like grown-ups now you've got to make the most of it yeah this is it this is it you're not going to be this age again there's a movement I can't remember what it's called I'll think of it I'll put it up but it's um about how in five years time the people you spend most of your time with you'll never see you won't see oh my god that's so sad i know so as in just like don't sweat the small stuff yeah like you know and choose the people that you want to be with yeah as in you know like like the peripheral people that you're making the effort with now but you're like i'm never like yeah we move kids move school or yeah we move or whatever we're not gonna see you and stop worrying about them yeah and focus on the core and the people who are in your life and make the effort with those people make the effort yeah do you have a goal for 2026 i feel like it's swept up in life and so we were like let's this year have some marriage resolutions so i mean it's super simple but like go to a new restaurant once a month yeah do something fun once a month that isn't around booze or food like yeah like get a hobby yeah like you know have a paddle lesson or like use it to try new things the new things yeah exactly it might even not even been going out it might be him trying to teach me bridge yeah you know something like just something like that yeah yeah um and and also work towards a challenge together that's really cool yeah that is cool like a challenge that we have to train for together so that's my resolution yeah great can you hold me accountable yeah we've booked a date night well done what's what's your first restaurant you're going to um james oh the dover i haven't been there with James I've been there with girls and then what's your first activity

33:47okay let's do dilemmas for next week dilemmas we always put a question box out on social media but we're also going to ask you guys to tell us in our community app what do you want to talk about do you have any dilemmas are there any hot topics you want to talk about let us know first one I didn't cheat but i thought about it i'm in a long-term relationship and somebody at work has completely scrambled my brain nothing's happened but i can't stop thinking about them is this a red flag or am i just being human i think it's different between thinking somebody's hot than somebody's scrambling your brain yeah and can't stop thinking about them yeah that's a red flag completely if you can't stop thinking about how long has it been going on is it like you've just met them and you're like oh they're hot and then it will die down and you get to know them really yeah it doesn't say i mean i would be careful because like work affairs are like it's where most people have affairs messy messy but also it's a small environment yeah and people are putting their persona their work persona forward and it might not necessarily be who they are in real life that's true i would just like proceed with caution i would say don't act on it no um And maybe have an honest conversation with your partner and say...

35:03No, don't do that. That's the worst of my step. Because if they fancy some jazz, are they ending it? That would be the end of it. She needs to invest in time with her current boyfriend. And see if they still fancy them. And if he's kind of giving her the ick, then that is also a red flag. Okay. I outwardly support my friends but privately I'm spiraling with jealousy when good things happen to them promotions engagement babies all of it I hate that I feel this way how do I stop competing with people I love oh that's so sad very honest so honest that's a hard emotion to battle because it is involuntary but I think you can like the fact that she's aware of it yeah it's a good thing it's a good thing yeah so then she can work on that like she knows she needs to work on it I really admire that actually yeah she's aware of her feelings comparison as we always say is the thief of all joy which is showing that you've just got to stop focusing on other people because you're hindering your own progress and own life if you're worried or if you're always looking outwards try and look inwards I know it's really easy to say but just every day in the morning maybe wake up and write five things down that make you focus on you or like give yourself the little things each day that bring you joy so that might be cup of coffee or your cup of tea in the bed in the morning or whatever it is and like focus on your smaller things and getting the joy out of those and then I feel like you're not so worried about other people else I think you've just got to look you've got one life yeah you've got to just focus on yourself you've been you know this is really harsh but you've been doubt the cards you've got make the most of it because no one else is going to yeah and your time will come for all those things yeah of course your life is waves they might be on the up now yeah no matter who you are like things it's just the way life goes so you might just be in the dip at the moment but you're gonna come back up completely and like that's where friendships are for as well because you support each other in the highs and the lows so do you think she should say to her friend i'm really struggling that you know yeah i think yeah go for a walk with you like pick some like one of your closest friends you feel you can trust go for a walk yeah just have it out and sometimes when you talk it through it as well like the problem becomes smaller yes that's good advice yeah but it's normal i think everyone feels it it's not it's not an unusual emotion no you know i think if there's something you want and it's happening to everyone else and not you then of of course you're going to feel sad about it.

37:47And you're a good friend for cheering for them. Yeah. Okay, I hope that helped. That wasn't quite sporadic, but I hope it helped. Okay, girls, that was so fun. I cried a lot of tears in that part. Thanks, lady. I knew it wouldn't disappoint. That was fun. Do you want this trio again? And what do you want to know? Let us know. We'll give Myra a glass. We'll give Myra a glass to watch it next time. I want those ones to tell us next time. I'll leave this room full of regrets. We've all bared our soul, though, don't worry. That wraps up this week's episode. Thank you so much for watching. It has been a hoot.

38:29I hope you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed our conversation, then please subscribe, leave us a review and share the episode with a friend and see you next time.