Tyson Fury Comeback, Viral London Pizza Spot & A High-Street Style Breakdown | SLMan Podcast

19:05Frankie Foster:We spoke about this briefly before where I was sort of tentative to get involved with wearing a tie casually. And now I'm giving it a go and love it. I was almost fighting back. Like, no, let's keep it traditional. Keep it Frank James. It looks cool. It looks cool. K-pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor.

19:36No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. A participating McDonald's while supplies last.

19:51Frankie Foster:Quick reminder, before we move on, if you're enjoying this podcast, then we are going to continue. but before we do please can I ask you one thing just move your mouse across your finger across if you're on a laptop if you're on a phone watching wherever you are we want you to subscribe it helps us create content that you enjoy watching and we love doing this pod so please it's only just one click subscribe and enjoy many more episodes to come what have we been indulging in news wise gents sports culture what sort of prick your ears over the last week or so so I went to the first women's six nations game on saturday england against island and first thing it was such a different atmosphere to men's rugby in what way it's so welcoming like men's rugby has has an has a reputation as being a little stuffy yeah the women's rugby couldn't have been further from it everybody was so positive families it was such a different experience it wasn't just a load of people like cramming to the bar to drink as much as they could to try and and they were singing songs and people were getting involved and they were wearing these red cowboy hats because two of the england players uh have a podcast called rugby rodeo and there was all these things the buy-in and then they had their record attendance for like 77 000 i've read that that's so impressive and i sounds like i'm being negative saying that no no it's true but if i was to have a guess at what attendances would be they wouldn't be that high and that's incredible 77 7 ,000.

21:18Frankie Foster:That's the first women's rugby game I went to years ago. It was at Twickenham and it was barely there. There was no promotion for it. It wasn't on buses. It wasn't on the England rugby, like the main England rugby Instagram didn't post about it. Now, it's socially, it has a much bigger impact in terms of on social media than the men's game. Like the actual number of views and interactions and engagement on women's rugby is far higher than men's now on social media. It's cool that you said there was cowboy hats in the crowd. It shows the buy-in from that podcast, shows that people are engaging with the players.

21:55And loads of them. Not just like a little sprinkling here and there. Loads. And they were bringing them to the game. It wasn't like, you know, they were handing them out like they do sometimes in the seats. People were just that obsessed. And it was lovely to see.

22:09Frankie Foster:Enjoyable day sport then. Amazing. There's definitely a huge difference in the atmosphere, for sure. I went to the Emirates a few years ago to watch the Arsenal women's team. I'm not an Arsenal fan, so don't tell anyone. You're allowed to be. No, I'm not. But my wife's an Arsenal fan, so we went there. And it was just such a nice day out. And sometimes, I can't say that, for the games that I've been to at Chelsea. So it was just nice. Couldn't agree more. It was a nice atmosphere. 77 ,000. Brilliant. Long may I continue. Tyson Fury back in the ring. Yeah, it was good. I have always enjoyed being a follower of Tyson Fury.

22:47Frankie Foster:He probably has made one too many comebacks for me. It's getting a little bit boring. And his persona, which I enjoyed for so long, because he does get eyes on the sport, he's entertaining, he's hilarious, probably has also gone a little bit too long for me as well. But he said he wants to come back and fight Edge. So he won at the weekend. He was always going to win. It wasn't ever really a doubt. it was just a sort of pipe opener and he stood in the ring and said I'm only continuing boxing if it's AJ let's give the fans what they want but it's the same story as boxing always gives us in that there'll be two greats throughout their career that tease us with a fight they avoid each other because it makes sense and then by the time they get to a certain age they finally get the fight and whoever wins will still sit there and go but who would have won 10 years ago so it's a bit frustrating yeah it was the same wasn't it frustrating scenario and they almost become friends by the end of it don't they because they're like, well, let's make a few quid.

23:43Frankie Foster:We've had great careers. We'll do this fight and then we'll go out on a hike. Well, also, I just think there is a point where, and I know, you know, the heavyweights, heavyweight division in particular, because of the size difference and the power, the power is the last thing to go, right? And so they do, there's loads of stories of heavyweight boxers through the years waiting until they were 40. You know, there's George Foreman, there's, you know, Sonny Liston and the like fighting later on in their life. it is great when they are athletic when they're young because then when they lose it and they still can have the skill it's great to watch when they're then slow i know what you mean they're slogging it out and you're watching it like the fight of the weekend tyson is 10 times the technician yeah but woof it's just not that fun to watch i know what you mean i do know i think the interesting thing about fury for me because i i was watching a clip of him telling his family that he's doing this comeback fight.

24:39And obviously they're not happy because it's a dangerous sport. But it's so intrinsically linked to his mental health, isn't it? Like, you know what happened last, when he properly retired and he ballooned up and there's stories of him in a dark place. It's like, how long can he go on having these comebacks? Because he needs boxing as much as boxing needs him. And it's like, you're right. It is like, maybe it's one too many times. and you don't see it all the time.

25:07Frankie Foster:What I did like about him for a long time was the, he's a rogue, isn't it? Yeah, he's a wild man. He's a rogue. I sort of tend, I tend to enjoy watching those that have, you know, their own issues, but they're incredibly talented versus, this is the wrong way to put it, but those that just have been extremely disciplined and worked. I always enjoy the rogue. Yeah, there's also a magic to the way he's able to fight because he is so fluid and like, well, he was. is getting slower and slower and slower and less. You know, the movement for a guy of six foot eight or whoever he is, he's unbelievable.

25:43And the speed at that size was unbelievable. It's now slightly less. 37 years old. I was just about to say that. That's a lot to be still getting punched in the face when you're a multi-multi-millionaire. It is, isn't it? Four days younger than me.

25:55Frankie Foster:37. Yeah. Getting in the ring, going at it. It's like, come on, lads. I know. Yeah, like, what would the payday be that makes me think, do you know what? actually I'm going to roll this, getting punched in the face for a living. Yeah, because they're big boys as well. Also, they could do permanent damage in like one afternoon. Oh, horrific. The AJ thing was interesting though, wasn't it? Because it's like, for me, watching things like that, I've seen it so many times before where like the person they're fighting next comes into the ring and I was almost like they're doing it. And then you just sat there like, no, no, we're not doing it.

26:26It's just like, it was a bit underwhelming. It was almost like a bit underwhelming. I was like, oh, just commit to it already. I think AJ's there trying to control the marketing. So what that is, is he's then not giving the power to Tyson Fury. Tyson Fury has to come to him. What did he say? You work for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he's controlling the game. It's a bit WWE though. It gets to that point. Yeah, well, they're going to need to fix it at this rate because they're both well past it.

26:51Frankie Foster:Still sort of in the boxing world then. Eddie Hearn and Matchroom taking on rugby player Henry Pollock is fascinating from a marketing branding perspective. Well, also, the best bit is Henry Pollock, when interviewed the first day after couldn't actually remember the name of the company. He just signed for it. He was interviewed and called it matchmaking. He was like, yeah, signing with matchmaking is amazing. And he had to be corrected by Hugo being like, it's matchroom, Henry. Matchmaking, maybe that's their new arm of their business. They've launched their matchroom talent part of the business signing Henry and also signing UFC fighter Tom Aspinall.

27:33Frankie Foster:So they're sort of branching out outside of boxing. Eddie Hearn basically said he saw Henry, thought he was a star, had a conversation with him, couldn't believe how little money he made as a top level athlete and said, come and work for us. We're going to build you into a superstar. Oh yeah, I have a controversial opinion on this. I think Henry Pollock is the wrong thing for rugby promotion. I think he's a exceptional player who should be playing in the England team constantly. He's fantastic. I think rugby needs to look towards, like I was saying earlier, the women's game, where they're making that more wholesome aspect of rugby, because rugby isn't that relatable as a sport, right?

28:09I used to play it. You know, it was a very big part of my life for many years. It's not overly relatable to your every man, whereas the women's game very much is because they've lent into it. And I think he, whilst being exceptionally talented, because he really is, like he is a, he will change the way England plays. I don't think he's the person we should focus on. I know that's a bit niche. What do you want? You want more? I think rugby needs to realise that there are so many good characters in the game and they are stifling all of them. If you look at the women's rugby, they allow them to be themselves.

28:44If you watch an interview from 2011 with a famous rugby player from that era and you watch an interview with a famous rugby player now, they say the same 12 sentences and haven't branched out. They don't have personality. And yet, having been in rugby and met some of these guys, is they have wonderful personalities that are screaming to get out and the clubs are like, no, you have to act like we did, even though, you know, there's, the game has changed massively.

29:08Frankie Foster:Maybe Matchroom can do that. That's what I hope will happen. I think, you know, maybe him, by him being allowed to be himself, that opens the door for other people to be themselves. And then that makes the sport live on. What I'm interested in is if he can become a star or more of a star just by being in proxy to other stars. so by simply being amongst boxers, UFC fighters celebrities that come to watch boxing and sit ringside purely from like the Instagram photos with those people the interviews just being amongst that circle of matchroom What's he doing? What's he doing though? What do you mean?

29:43I don't really know what the

29:45Frankie Foster:So they've signed him as talent Yeah, right So there is agency They will probably take a commission from deals that they make him and I think they will actually represent him in his rugby deals as well. That's what they've said. They're going to do the... Yeah. So if he signs for a new club or negotiations for fees, match fees, whatever, they'll do that as well. But he won't be necessarily like sitting alongside these people, will he? They'll get him to events because they obviously have so many connections. Their PR department will have him really... Which I think will be interesting. Can that have a massive impact for rugby if suddenly this rugby player is on red carpets at film premieres, sat next to boxers, UFC fighters, Hollywood stars.

30:20Frankie Foster:If he's going to a big fight in Vegas, is he going to put rugby on the map? because there's always like there's been a weird connection with hollywood and rugby for a long time if you look in the 90s like all the party antics of like the rugby the lads of old loads of the celebrities were like attached to that in those you know nice mayfair clubs and private things they need to go wild again it's definitely something that raises the profile of sport i mean you just got to look at what conor mcgregor did to the ufc um you definitely need these characters but it has to be authentic I think trying to trying to make it happen by I don't know what Eddie Han's plans are but I don't think it will work if it doesn't feel like those people are those people yeah I mean we're talking about yeah that's also a point we are Bibicella fans or not Bibicella yeah I thought it was cool yeah yeah I thought it was tell us for those that haven't seen what was he up to well I didn't see loads of it what I did see was obviously just him sat on like reminded me of the bloke at a party who can't help but try and show you his YouTube videos or any YouTube videos.

31:24Which is me, man. Yeah, it was just kind of that, just like obviously on a massive scale in front of that many people. But I did think it was cool. It kind of, I think, was cooler than the acts that put on a massive show. To me, I think it was just understated and what was needed for someone like him at this point. Not needed, but I just think it was a cool move to make.

31:46Frankie Foster:Do you think it was Fred again inspired? Is that Clutching Against Jaws? Maybe. Because he's really like connected with the audience from being in it, doing it himself whilst people are watching. And I know he's only click and play, but it's kind of like, I'm sat with you guys. Let's have a sing along. Yeah, it's a connection. He's like a sort of manufacturing connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, you know, seeing as he's not really been doing much for quite a while since, you know, when I was a lot younger, I think maybe manufacturing that, especially because a lot of that audience won't resonate with him.

32:16You know, they'll be the wrong generation. I think also the playback on the big screen of him being really intensely close to the camera, I guess kind of also brought him closer as well, which is pretty cool. I don't think that's... Although he's not on his laptop, like sort of...

32:32Frankie Foster:Kind of. Well, maybe. Do you think... I'd love to speak to someone that was in the crowd. Do you think that was a better move for PR and social than looked amazing to all of us on Instagram going, oh, that's cool that people did that? Or do you think it actually worked for those people that were there? Do you think you'd enjoy it if you're at a festival and suddenly comes on stage and he's like, hang on a minute, I'm just going to pull up YouTube. Would it be a bit of a buzzkill? The Bieber fever is rife. So I think whoever's there is going to enjoy it. But I know what you mean. It's like, does it connect the way that we think it has just because we've seen it on social media?

33:03Frankie Foster:I saw a couple of future Mrs. Bieber crossed out. Oh, yeah, his merch was amazing. And he had a load of... I'm well in the Coachella album. Yeah, I was like, you're probably... Yeah, his merch was great because he had like hoodies and t-shirts printed of, you know, the paparazzi thing that happened. Like the argument. What does he say? Like, is it not clocking? Yeah. And that was his merch, basically. It was brilliant. I think he's, you know, he's a very talented man. Like the way you can connect with a generation of people who are now like have been detached from that kind of music for so long.

33:35And it's now we're talking about it. I think that requires a level of, you know, talent. I mean, I don't have. So, you know, I've got a lot of respect for it. With each thing that he's done, he's managed to kind of stay relevant. But his last album he did, he produced with Dijon and McGee, who are like at the forefront of like kind of changing the style of music. McGee's really good. Yeah, McGee, I mean, he was playing with him, I think at Coachella. And I think that's a great move to make. Like Dijon is just incredible. And it kind of, he's got like a Prince vibe. And I think a lot of that Bieber album that just came out has, is infused with that thing.

34:10so it feels new to everybody, but it also has enough Bieber in there that I think sort of the older fans can be still loving. I mean, they're just going to love him, whatever he does, but it was a really good album.

34:26Frankie Foster:Hot Topics. Hot Topics. What is going on in your world? Well, I started posting content in December and my life has gone absolutely bananas. Yeah, we need to talk about this. So, yeah. Mate, that's a quick turnaround. Yeah, I know. It's been really intense. It's, and I can't say enough how it's not how I expected. Like, you know, you hear all the horror stories about the internet being horrible. Mine's been so lovely. Everybody's so nice. And I can't, I'm waiting for like, you know, the moment everybody starts being really horrible to me, but it's really not happening at the minute. And everybody's just really supportive and like, oh, good on you.

35:02What made you start? A lady on a, I was doing an acting job and one of the makeup artists was like, who do you think you are with your private Instagram? Like, come on. Like, you don't, what kind of life are you leading that you need to have it on private? And so I made it public. And then within two days, one of the videos got like 300 ,000 views. And I went like, what the hell? What video is that? A video of me in a lovely green pomer jacket, green and cream outfit. It was top tier, my favorite. I wear green all the time because the lady said it made me look nice. When I was about 16. She certainly wonders this.

35:33It does. Different lady. It brings out the color in your eyes, Tom. That's exactly right. said that when I was 16, I've been, half my wardrobe is green, it's outrageous still, you know but then it just started to, it just kept happening and happening and happening and happening and I can't work out

35:49Frankie Foster:So you had a private Instagram, did you post much when you had a private Instagram? Not much Not really, and then you made it public and you decided this is a banging outfit, I'm going to post a video showing off my outfit and that one went viral I just said like, oh I'm not having the best day but I'll put an outfit I like on and you know, maybe tomorrow will be Did you have any apprehension about posting? Because people might watch this that have an interest in fashion or want to start posting and they're worried that maybe they have a thousand followers, which are all people from school or friends of theirs and they don't want to look silly.

36:18So my recommendation for all of those people is if those people are going to not be supportive, they aren't really that supportive or friendly to you anyway. Because it's not, unless you're doing something really heinous, in which case, don't do it, keep it to yourself. But if you're just doing like posting your outfits or like, you know, having a good time, don't, you know, don't worry. People will change their tune. My dad was like, I can't believe you're doing that. It's so embarrassing. So embarrassing, so embarrassing. And then I - Just drop him out. See you later. No, it gets worse. He was being really like, oh, you're shaming the whole family.

36:54And then all of a sudden, now he's like, actually, I saw your video. It's pretty good. I like that outfit you've got on. I'm like, oh, you've come round, have you? So they will come round if they actually care. they might they're probably doing it to worry about you rather than actually you know either that or they're jealous that you're confident enough to do it i think did you have you ever had moments where you feel like you don't want to do it oh yeah every day yeah yeah yeah it was posting it it's still a mad thing you're like i can't believe i'm posting a video of me in my outfit and people are going to watch it and there's people that care enough to watch it and so i go oh they don't really want to say this it feels authentic your stuff though i think that's what connects with people like because i was watching a few videos and it does it just feels like you're talking to your mate and you know he's just giving you advice on what to wear yeah instead of i think sometimes it can feel a little bit too performance and like you don't really engage with that whereas i think that's what's engaged about your stuff also i think because i lost i did a had a bit of a weight loss journey which i posted about on there too and you know i lost 65 kilos in one year which is like incredible it's a lot right but so many people are at a funny point in that in their life they're either wanting to start one they're in the middle of one or they failed one and having someone who can show them that they did it and also how to dress while they're kind of in that middle space yeah i think it's helpful for people like a lot of people don't feel like they're in the body they want to be in and seeing someone that also was like that and also still has insecurities i think it's reassuring i hope you know i hope that those

38:26Frankie Foster:people are reassured why did you decide or maybe you tried before what was the trigger that made you start and succeed in your weight loss? I tried like a hundred times beforehand and always failed, always failed. Cause I was, you know, I was like 130 kilos when I left school, but like big scary rugby player. And then that all sort of graduated towards the middle until I got to like 165 kilos, which is heavy. But this time, the biggest thing that changed it was changing my environment, not my diet. And the most, the thing I was most conscious about was journaling because then I could actually work out what was causing me to overeat, not just that I was overeating.

39:04Before I'd always done those, you know, MyFitnessPal and all these calorie trackers. And I'd be like, oh, I am overeating. And that would just kick me when I was down already. And then I combined that with journaling every day about who I was seeing and friends I was seeing that I, you know, weren't good for me. And then I slowly sort of chipped them out and 65 kilos came off. So I can't recommend journaling and calorie tracking enough. And cutting off people that aren't good for you. Because some people just aren't, or they're not really your friends, but they're like drinking buddies, you know?

39:34And you're just like, they're not good for you. I don't, you know.

39:37Frankie Foster:65 kilos in a year is massive. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. So impressive. It's hard work, man. Did you feel, or you must feel grateful? Weirdly, this is the thing that you think is going to happen. You think you'll lose the weight and then you will walk into the room and everybody is going to go like, wow, you're amazing. And you will feel like the best person ever. You'll feel like you're a real, like, achiever. all that happens is the insecurities which are there adjust to something else so all you do is you then i then became insecure about loose skin or you know weirdly when i got really really lean last summer i started to worry about the shape of my skull because the insecurities are found in they're from something else and unless you deal with them they aren't going to go they will just adjust to something else so i lost the weight but had loose skin so then that was the new thing or I lost enough that you could see the shape of my head, which is, I'm aware, slightly mad to be worried about.

40:29But it was a thing that happened.

40:30Frankie Foster:Got a great shaped head, by the way. It's fine. It's totally normal, right? I think it's an above average. Oh, see, this is the sort of thing I must have needed and then I would have felt better. But yeah, and you just pass the insecurities onto something else. Because, you know, like losing weight isn't an alternative to therapy. You're not, like realistically, it's just not. You can feel better physically, but it's not going to fix, you know. I've got a personal question for you then. Go for it. I've tried journaling. I can't stick to it. I know it's good for me. When I do it, it works. I just never see it out.

41:04Make it as basic as possible. Names of people you saw, drink, yes or no. And it can be as simple as that. It doesn't have to be you writing a diary like a teenage girl in one of those movies. You don't have to write a diary. Journaling what you did. When you think about doing it, do think i've got to like do all of this work but that's a good way to break it down yeah i always

41:28Frankie Foster:blame it on you know being late or busy or i don't have time and no the notes app on my phone is where i did it yeah really and literally every day i just had a new one this is what i did and i did it usually while i was like either in the bathroom or brush my teeth use the other hand whatever because it just is like seven to ten seconds of like this person that person yes i had a drink next and it doesn't you know some days i'd really elaborate because i had the time or in the inclination. But most of the time it was just really - Is that what you were sort of honing in on then? Well, that was, once I realized, and I was dropping like two kilos a week, and I was like, hold on a minute, there's something to this.

42:04And then I doubled down on it and really, you know, wielded the ax and just got really like, you, you make me feel a bit bad, gone, you, gone. And was literally just ruthless. And you know, it works a treat. It's impressive. Really impressive.

42:18Frankie Foster:Thank you very much. What's going on in your world, sir? I am trying to put my phone down a little bit. as is everyone as is all i've been i guess like you kind of get overwhelmed with um what i'm seeing a lot of like fitness influences and and sort of people telling you like what the right thing to do is for like like food and and i guess like exercise and things like that which already is quite a hard thing to watch all of the time and you're comparing yourself to you know i'm not doing any of that so then it makes you feel bad um and then i had quite a bad injury I ruptured my achilles um in October so I've not been able to do anything but now it's sort of getting a little bit better I'm at the point where I'm like I start exercising again but watching these videos it's now 10 times worse because it's like you're not giving yourself a break that you've been through like an injury or that you've had a layoff or something like that and so now I'm just constantly like oh this feels crap that I'm not doing this I'm not doing that you know obviously like rehab and things like that is is is part of it but it's just another reason why it's harder to get down the gym harder to go for a run i mean literally like i'm watching people running thinking like i should be doing that can you run no no i can't i can't do it i'm comparing myself to someone that can i'm like i've got to be doing that um so yeah just trying to put my phone down a little bit um and just kind of be a bit more present it's a balance isn't it a lot of those influencers or athletes that you watch many of them that's their job yeah they might be single like you have an injury a career a wife yeah so yeah you can't really compare yourself to someone who probably gets paid to train yeah i was looking at recovery times of like footballers that have done the same thing you know i'm like what am i doing like they're in physio rooms all day long they've got access to the best surgeons yeah they literally have been looked after why is it taking me so long with no other goal to get back on the pitch by professionals and you're there at home you know doing it so i said come on with the thera band yeah it's actually quite a good link to your content because your journey is almost a bit of an answer to like having those thoughts and those things because you talk about it and like obviously you look great and your content is a lot more it's more like sort of everyday person it's just got these other things in their life agreed thank you so lesson learned that was a great chat by the way gents enjoyed that is to make sure you're following Tom for style and for fitness inspiration.

44:36Frankie Foster:Tom pulls faces. Thank you, mate.

44:45Frankie Foster:Right, dilemmas. I love this part of the show where you send in your dilemmas for us to answer. And we've got some good ones. So hopefully we can somewhat resolve them. No pressure. Fingers crossed. This is where I get cancelled. Good advice only on the SL Man pod. Starting with, should I follow the trend or keep it going with the style that I've built? I think there's a very simple answer to this. Go. And the question is, which one makes you feel good? Because if what you're currently wearing makes you feel good, you don't need to alter. Just add what also makes you feel good. By, you know, the end of it being new, it will probably be potentially more you know on trend but it's about making yourself feel good right rather than you know other people making yeah yeah yeah it's about not protect you know presenting something to someone else about making you feel good in what you wear i think we've probably all done that right where you've bought something which is somewhat trendy put it on and gone no that's not me yeah yeah 100 a bit awkward in that yeah which would be you know you're on my answer to sort of sticking to your guns a little bit more.

45:58I think the older I've got,

46:00Frankie Foster:finding brands that suit me helps. Where you have a couple of brands that you know fit your shape, the designers of those brands obviously think in a similar way or you like the style of them. I think that's helped me where I know that certain brands or styles will always, most of the time, work with me. And I don't need to jump to to another trend just because everyone else is doing it. I mean, I think it's definitely sticking to the style you've built. I think the trends are like, they're there to dabble in. I think when you connect to something, like if you wanna wear super bag of jeans, wear super bag of jeans.

46:39If you wanna wear skinny jeans, wear skinny jeans. I think they're there to dabble in and attach as pieces to a style that you've already built. I think don't do it if you feel like it's coming away from who you are and what makes you feel good. but by all means like you know get involved because there is an idea of like you know the what this the sort of like the world of fashion and the relevance of trends is going to come and go but i mean we've all looked back at pictures from you know 20 years ago you see yourself and i feel like oh that was that time skinny jeans yeah that's a good word you have

47:12Frankie Foster:your style but try yeah just just attach certain pieces if yeah if it's something that you look at you think i fancy a bit of that yeah i agree exactly and the nature of trends is that you know at some point down the line they'll come back they'll come back yeah well this i bought when i was like 17 so yeah that's not you know i like it now yeah yeah next dilemma i want to be more confident socially but i overthink everything i say after i say it how do i stop that probably It's probably something that everyone struggles with to varying degrees. We can do this thing as well where what you're actually doing, because I've had some instances of this myself recently, where going back and speaking to the people that I was reflecting on this disaster conversation I'd had and talking to them, they were like, I didn't even know what you're on about.

48:02That's not how that went at all. I've done that. And I was catastrophizing this thing and making it so much worse. And you pick up on your half. And I know, look, that's making it a little bit too self-obsessed. Yes. But it's really hard not to do when you're already nervous and anxious about it. So you end up like sometimes the way you're perceiving it when you're rethinking about it and over analyzing it and all of this stuff is actually just your half. And you're not taking into account how that might actually be landing with the other person, which might be really positive. More often than not, people wouldn't have even registered.

48:36Frankie Foster:If you went back a week later and said, I'm really sorry about what I said. They're like, can't remember. No. Most of the time people are thinking about the next thing they're going to say. Not what you're saying. They've gone away worrying about what they said, not what you said. I sent a really apologetic text and, you know, it was like, I'm really sorry I did this. I made it really uncomfortable for everyone. It was like, what bit? What bit are you talking about? And I went, oh, no. Now I've sent their text, which is actually embarrassing. I don't have to worry about. Whereas the worrying I had been doing was pointless.

49:04Frankie Foster:Yeah, I agree. I think there are times to reflect perhaps in business. networking where you have to have your professional head on but socially just be yourself and you'll figure out your own connections and friends in time because they'll like you there's no point pretending to be someone else is there yeah yeah it's way too difficult yeah and the older you get the more comfortable you get in your skin and find your friends generally i think that's the answer for sure yeah i think sometimes also there's a little thing i was taught years ago about writing down writing down the problem because when you then look at it on paper you realize it's usually nowhere near as serious as you thought so actually writing it down those worries you're having on the way home type it out to a friend or something and they'll be like yeah that's not how you are at all and you're like hold on also known as beer fear yeah really yeah yeah that's exactly what i'm talking about yeah i mean that's the thing there's so many variables it's like what's happening with this question.

50:04What's happening? Which moments are you talking about? My friend calls it the blessing.

50:08Frankie Foster:You need to go and get the blessing the next day. So you know when you wake up and think, oh Jesus, what did I say? What do you mean, go back and ask for forgiveness? Almost. If we've been out together, it's been a bit of a mad one. I'm overthinking things. I text you. When you text back and you don't say anything or you reply and say, oh fun night last night, that's the blessing. yeah that takes you back so quickly after the other week well i have a friend who's the worst person in the world he just really is in his own head socially yeah and for ages when we used to go out together i just used to check in with him each morning because i know he'd be at home going on oh mate that's nice yeah final dilemma everyone around me seems to have a clear path that's false to begin with and i genuinely don't am i behind or is no one actually as sorted as they look the final part where it was about nobody's as sorted as you think they are.

51:02Even the people that I've met that are the most switched on, most put together when you actually have that conversation they are spinning plates and panicking and terrified. They're presenting a put together thing but they're not really because life is so unpredictable and so chaotic and all of the things you wish you were doing right never usually work to 100 % of what you planned. And so you're always adjusting. So even the most put together people just aren't.

51:32Frankie Foster:Well, quickly around the room, do you think you've got it all put together, clear path? No chance, yeah. No way. Yeah, same. It's absolute chaos. Broken path. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's three gents here. I'm hopscotching on this path. I guess there's a difference between, you know, comparing yourself to other people and the path that they're going on. and the idea of them having it together and looking at yourself and thinking like what's the baseline for me and like do you feel like you're kind of slipping outside of what you deem yourself being together is of which case you know I think it only takes a few small adjustments to get yourself back on track there are so many stories of people who are like really successful in something and started way way later than you'd expect yeah yeah you know there's like actors who you know didn't get their first big job until they're in their 40s or you know all kinds of things one of the ladies that was nominated for an oscar started acting when she was like in her 60s and you're like that's there is options there for all kinds of things you may not know your path just yet but at some point you might find something you want to make your path and there is much more time than you think to actually make it work whatever you do next is not your career or life forever so if you don't know what you want to be when you're 30 or 40 there's no harm in really giving something a go at 21 you might do it for two years learn some skills and then move on something completely different so i think people often are like oh my god i've got a good decision on what i'm doing with my life and you could do something for five years then change do something for another five years then change just give what's in front of you a good go and you'll ultimately find your way i think gents thanks that was great fun pleasure to have you as our special guest tom adam thanks for joining us do come back pleasure man another sl man pod and for those of you that have been watching hope you enjoyed, hope you enjoyed me hosting leave a review of my hosting in the comments if you're mean, Tom's going to come after you and he's a scary man when he wants to be and also please, as always do subscribe, it means that you will get updated when we release new content you'll be able to watch more of these shows and they're getting better and better each week as a result of you watching thanks for watching, see you on the next one

53:49Thank you.