1580 – Connecting With Your Humanness with Gelmi Interpersonal Development’s Thomas Gelmi

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0:58with us right now thomas gelmi thomas you are the founder of gelmi interpersonal development you're found on the web at gelmi.coach and that's g-e-l-m-i.coach thomas thank you so much for joining us thank you for having me on your show it's an honor you are in switzerland and i'm so grateful that you're joining us today. Tell us about your work and exactly who you're working with and what you do. Yeah, I'd love to. I work with managers, people in leading positions in organizations across industries, across cultures, people who have influence on others, top management, middle management, sometimes team leaders.

1:42And that's what I get up for in the morning to help them embrace and connect with their humanness, so to speak, with human aspects and bring them into their leadership. You know, what's often referred to as a soft factor or soft skills, as opposed to the numbers and figures and hard skills. This is so often underestimated. And I help them develop these skills and these aspects because they are often the game changer. Yeah. Thomas, why do you think that we get into a work environment? And when we, you know, obviously there's, here's what my observations are kind of, you know, back to when I was working in an office in a kind of a corporate environment.

2:31You know, it's like there was, you know, when we were on task or when I was responsible for leading a team, like there was kind of the social side of, you know, showing up in work and that sort of thing. And then there was the business side. And oftentimes I worked for leaders that, you know, I just I couldn't get comfortable around. And it was just not a really great dynamic. And like, I didn't, it's, it's almost like I wanted them. And I remember feeling like this as, as someone it's like, man, if you just tell me generally what the goals are and let me, maybe it's just a personality thing. Right.

3:15But when I felt like I was micromanaged or when I had to adapt and conform and I had no say in the matter, boy, did I wither. I really completely demotivated me. Whereas opposed to I think today as a leader, you know, I really want to focus on, well, here's the overall, here are the goals. And I need every idea. You're on the front line. Help me see what I can't see as a leader. That's my style today. I'm probably not perfect at it. But what are your observations on kind of the dynamic I'm talking about? Yeah, absolutely. You know, open doors with me with what you just described. You know, I tend to say that regardless of whether a business is in the B2B sector, like serving other businesses, or the B2C segment, which is serving customers or consumers, it's always H2H.

4:10It's human to human. It's human beings. 100 % of all employees and customers of any organization are human beings. And that's why what you just described happens so often. When people feel like they're at the heart of things, they're involved, their contribution matters, their opinion matters, they will do what is necessary to you know satisfy clients needs and make happy customers because they want to it's like the most normal thing to do as opposed to them feeling at the periphery of things and and just do what i tell you to do and you're like a number so this these human aspects that include empathy emotional intelligence really connecting with people and caring for them, they are so often underestimated and they often fall by the wayside because there's so much pressure in the organizations.

5:18So leaders, managers are under pressure to deliver, to achieve goals, to deliver results, to drive things forward. And that's what they focus on. And that's the reason why what sounds like common sense is often not so common in organizations. It's not rocket science, but this is what makes the difference. As you just said, whether you feel like you count and you're seen as a human being and appreciated and valued or not, this makes or breaks. This is the decisive factor that makes you go extra miles because you want to, or that makes you, you know, slow down and work by the rule book. And that's it.

6:08Worst case, you become a quiet quitter. Very worst case, you quit. Yeah. And I've seen this, so I'm embarrassed that I'm asking this question. What's quiet quitting? I think I know what it is, but I'd love to think about it. Because it's been a bit, yeah, it's been kind of a buzzword recently. well it's like an internal quitting i'm still there i still show up for work i still get up every morning and go to work but internally i'm already gone i do the bare minimum so that i don't run into trouble but that's it that's it i quit quietly yeah i've seen another acronym that i've heard use uh pimo physically in mentally out you know physically i'm showing up but yeah yeah i i you know yeah i'm not fully there of course as a leader you don't want an organization full of uh pimos or or or otherwise yeah of course not and the problem is that you know all these things that we're just discussing these human aspects they take time they take you know it takes uh taking time to have conversations with people, listen to their concerns, ask them how they are, et cetera, and all of that.

7:28And of course, show me a manager who feels like, yeah, I have enough time. I can do that. I can just, you know, go and talk to people. No, of course not. Because, you know, you don't have time just like that for talking to people and having conversations that go beyond just daily tasks and responsibilities that go that are also about them as human beings you don't just have this time you have to take this time and when do you take time when it's important right then if you deem it important you take time for it so that that's where it all begins the importance you give and the priority you give to establishing and keeping connections and relationships with people.

8:18And all of that depends on what kind of relationship you're in yourself with yourself, right? Because all depends on how it looks like inside view that colors everything you say, you do, how you show up. That's why the longer I am in this business of executive and leadership coaching, the more I see that leadership development, end of the day, is personality development. Yeah. If we are in a position where we are a leader of leaders and we know that we're not where we want to be, maybe we're having issues with turnover, maybe we're having issues with productivity and we're just not hitting goals in the way that maybe we did, maybe pre-pandemic, for example.

9:05And we recognize that there's likely work that we can be doing with our middle managers and so forth. What can we do to inspire this, you know, more human to human approach among those that are, you know, kind of in the middle? Yeah, be a role model Show the example Be the example Show up with confidence And optimism in the midst of adversity Model the behavior you want to see in your team Whether you're a leader of leaders Or whether you're a leader of a team Or whether you're a parent to children Show them how it's done Show them how you deal with the adversity. Show them that even though it looks like things are falling apart, you can still believe in a positive outcome and be confident.

10:03And manage your own energy. You know, manage your own mindset and attitude because this is the strongest influence you can have on other people. Right? It's not done by telling them, yeah, be confident. show them what confidence looks like yeah yeah yeah there ain't no way you're gonna say you know you need to listen to people better i'm not gonna do it but you need to exactly and you know probably everyone who's listening to this has experienced being in a meeting and then this one person comes in enters the room and the whole energy in the room shifts often to the negative, but it can also shift to the positive because there's just so much energy coming because the person is just, they believe that it's going to work out well and we can do it.

10:58Right. Thomas, how do you work with organizations and leaders? Well, it depends on whether I work with one specific leader and then it's a one-on-one executive coaching process or whether it's a whole group of leaders that go through the program. So I do leadership development programs that stretch over six to 12 months with groups of leaders that come together and go through this program. That's one way or individually, as I just said. What I often do is, especially in the executive coaching format, I start with a 360 degree feedback process, which is all about gathering feedback from those you work with most often, the stakeholders you work with, your boss, colleagues, peers on the same level, direct reports, any other people who you interact with.

11:56And this is often an online questionnaire that then generates an anonymized report that I look at with this leader and say, okay, this is where your people, your most important stakeholders see your qualities, your strengths, really appreciate in you. And this is where they might appreciate change. And that's a valuable resource that we can then use to say, okay, what are we going to work on over the next few months? like you want to become a better listener okay let's look at this and then we proceed you know coaching sessions practical application of the insights gained coming back how did it go what worked well etc it's like a process a cyclic process over six to twelve months ideally because we're talking about the change of habits in an adult person.

12:57That's not a light switch that you just flick, say, okay, as of tomorrow, I'm going to do this differently. It's baby steps, fine-tuning, little changes here and then over time that produce new habits, right? And that's where I then go off board. I leave the ship. Yeah. Yeah. You've worked with some big players, a world trade organization, Siemens, Red Bull, Ford, FIFA. You've you've in many other big companies. Your website is gelmi.coach, G-E-L-M-I.coach. What would you recommend for someone that's come across our podcast? Maybe they Googled you, found this episode. Now they've heard a conversation with you and they're like, hmm, They're kind of scratching their chin wondering, I wonder, you know, if Thomas would be, you know, if Thomas can help us, what would you recommend those next steps be?

13:55Well, reach out to me, send me a form through my website, connect with me on LinkedIn and just start a conversation with me. I'm really happy to exchange thoughts and assist. Yeah. That's the best way. Yeah. Again, that is on, you have the form right on your website again, gelme.coach. to our friend that's listened to our podcast episode. Just click around. You'll find the show notes. We've got a direct link, Thomas, to your website. You've also been featured in USA Today, HuffPo, Forbes. You're well-respected for your thought leadership. And Thomas, it's been a great pleasure having you. Thomas, tell me again, gelme.coach.

14:36Thomas, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, Josh. It's been a pleasure talking to you.

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