1603 – Not Hiding with Pulse Marketing’s Serena Mastin

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0:58with us right now serena maston serena i am so grateful to have you here today you're an author speaker entrepreneur you are an advocate for healing you are the author of the new book i just downloaded it exposed you can't heal when you hide we're going to be talking about that And you're also the owner and president of Pulse Marketing. Your website is serinamastin.com. Serena, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. I'm honored to be here. And this is part of my healing is not hiding. And so I'm ready to be fully vulnerable and transparent and share my experience and hope that I'll help someone else heal.

1:42Yeah. Yeah. So do you want to give us just the kind of the quick overview of your book? And again, they're just trigger warning. There's probably going to be some conversation that might be upsetting involving sexual abuse, that sort of thing, which is again, part of your story, cult involvement. I think already I've gotten everyone's attention like, whoa, we're going there. So just full kind of trigger warning on that. All right, Serena, let us know. here we go I'm giving you the high level overview so um my biological father was the leader of a satanic cult um he sexually abused my sister and I um in addition he um would threaten to kill my mother if she tried to leave so there was people following us at all times there was quarters in the house.

2:35When my mom finally was able to get out of the cult, she had to earn her rights back as a parent, and we were put into the system. So prior to that getting out of the cult, he was planning to sacrifice my sister and I to the cult, which meant more of a sexual sacrifice and could have been, in today's terms, more of a sex trafficking, you know, path that I could have gone down. So that was the first part of my story. From there, you know, from being transferred into multiple foster homes and kind of growing up in the system, to also struggling with the trauma, I struggled with dissociation and, you know, PTSD and, you know, all kinds of additional diagnosis at that time.

3:34And so by the time I did actually reunite with my mother, I had already kind of separated myself from reality in the sense of like, I was independent, I didn't really need anyone. And I left home at 16 and I lived on the streets in abandoned houses, park benches. And then I would go into the school and use the locker room to get ready in the morning. And then I actually enrolled myself into school so I could finish high school. I also had three jobs at the time. And then that's when I started to struggle with addiction. And the addiction kind of took over my life at that time until it came to a screeching halt.

4:20From there, I graduated high school eventually, right? I was able to climb the corporate ladder. I was in and out of tumultuous relationships throughout most of my life, struggled with an eating disorder in addition to just the other struggles that I'd already brought on myself even more. And then finally, I, you know, when I was older, I started to grow in my career in the corporate industry. I bought my first house at 23. And, you know, I was a VP of marketing by the age of 29. So I was just climbing this corporate ladder. I was also a single mom at the time. And that's when I met my husband, who I was with for married to for 10 years.

5:15That's also when I in in our marriage, we had tumultuous times, but that's when I started the agency was back in 2013. and we get married. Everything is exciting. I start this new agency. We're the power couple. And then I started to recognize that he struggled with mental health issues and infidelity. And any time the infidelity would be exposed, then he would go into suicidal tendencies. And so I felt trapped for 10 years trying to save him and protect him from hurting himself, but then also trying to run a business and also trying to raise a family. And all the same time, I told no one about anything that occurred in our lives.

6:10when I finally did really recognize that I needed to, I had no control over his actions. I needed to step away in order to heal myself. I left him in October of 2019 and he committed suicide in March of 2020. I'm sorry. So to say that I have a little bit of healing behind all of these things, I wanted to write my story because number one, as an entrepreneur, we have a tendency to feel like we have to show up a certain way. And in that, we hide a lot of the things that are really bothering us, but they trickle back into our business. That's one piece. The other piece is that when we start to struggle, it deteriorates us, and I started to deteriorate.

7:08So I wanted to take this as an opportunity to share my truth in hopes that others would see that and find the courage to share their own. Yeah. Wow. So despite everything that you'd been through, you created a very thriving, successful business. I didn't share the website for your agency. And that website is pulsemarketingteam.com. And you've worked with a lot of great clients. You do a lot of great work. Do you mind kind of sharing? I'm going to get back into your personal story, but since we kind of brought up your agency and I really haven't talked about it, what is Pulse Marketing? Who do you work with and what do you typically do?

7:50So we've kind of simplified the framework of what a marketing firm is. And if you think about it in the perspective of a fractional marketing team, an extension of your existing marketing team, or if you can't afford to bring on a marketing team, which is graphic designers, web developers, content writers, and someone to manage all the projects, do the research and the strategy. That's a lot to bring on when you're a small to mid-sized company. So we've created a model where we are a fraction of your team in a fractional marketing approach. So we can do anything from starting a business and that's the branding and the messaging to the execution, which is creating all of the pieces you need to get started and then advertising to generate leads.

8:40So where we've become a part of most of our clients, like intimate lives when it comes to marketing, because you can, you, you can say marketing, it can be cut, But the biggest thing that we've recognized is that everyone needs sales. And in order to grow your business, you can't just send anyone out anymore and like knocking on doors. It has to be deep level, you know, relationships that are built over time. And so how do we create a way to generate more leads faster? So you have a larger pool of relationships that you can start to grow your business. Yeah. Yeah. And again, you know, to our business owner friends that are listening right now, that website, PulseMarketingTeam.com.

9:26One thing I'd recommend is just you and your team do beautiful work. I mean, these websites, I mean, these are, you know, again, kind of world-class design and they look fantastic. So anyway, I just wanted to throw that out. You know, a lot of folks that are listening to this podcast are always looking for great connections, you know, great service providers, great experts, mentors, that sort of thing. um but Serena obviously I want to having said that I want to get back to a couple things like um because obviously what we want I hope right is that you know and I think part of your memoir and everything uh is to uh hopefully like provide um you know goodness in the world like you know can we you know maybe identify you know can we connect with or can we collectively be more sensitive to some of the harms and some of the bad things that happen in our world.

10:17And maybe we can intervene faster. We can, you know, just be more aware of some of these things. And, you know, the thing that, and we were kind of talking beforehand, I've read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts on cultiness and that cults aren't just the domain of satanic cults. Like, There are cults around us. And I think that when we stop thinking of things as, well, this is, is it a cult or is it not a cult? But that there is actually a matrix of, or a ratio, like it could be a 10 out of 10 cult. It could be a 3 or 4 out of 10 cult. but being more aware of that so we could think more objectively and not just about traditional cults, relationships, abusive relationships.

11:09That can be very much a mind control cult. Would you mind maybe sharing like if someone were to ask your advice on being able to think more objectively and being more aware, like how would you guide or advise them? Well, I would say that, you know, the relationship that I had for 10 years with my husband, I would say was an emotionally abusive relationship. However, I wasn't aware of what that even meant, which is if you see how your life kind of unfolds, it unfolds in patterns, you repeat patterns. And as a little girl, when, you know, like I was, it was normalized for my father to sexually abuse me, I didn't realize it was bad.

11:51What I, the pattern that I started to establish was that I was only valuable when I pleased others. Okay. And then I brought that into my adult relationships because all I tried to do was be more of this, be more of that, or do whatever I could to prove to my husband that I was worth, I, you know, I was worth living for despite of the pain, because you have a tendency to see in a silo of trying to please, trying to please, if that's your issue, right? And you learn those behaviors at a young age, and then you just continue to repeat them until you recognize how that is impacting your behavior, your health, your life, your business, your family, and it impacts all of those things.

12:49And so a cult in the same sense is controlling your behavior because you start to believe that you're not good enough unless this, or you have to earn love because of this, or you have to earn your way to a higher place. Those are all things that are triggers. And those are red flags that show that there's something there because love is something that is, should be freely given. And acceptance is something that should be freely given, not something that you earn. And that I believe is the tie between whether you're in a situation where you feel like you're constantly trying to earn approval or earn, you know, a next level, you have to truly look within yourself first to identify what is driving that behavior.

13:45Yeah. You know, certainly, you know, I think it's, listen, I think it's worthy for all of us to deconstruct cultiness. I found it to be, this was something that I really undertook a few years ago. And, you know, anytime that anyone is telling you that we are good and they are bad, so otherism, you know, just like that you can only, you know, you'll only receive acceptance and love within this, you know, relationship dynamic or this organization or this way of thinking, that should be a red flag, in my opinion. Like anytime you hear that, you know, this otherism, you know, where have you gotten to today, Serena, now, when you think about how we are as a world or society or humanity as, you know, now that you've maybe kind of gotten free and obviously done a lot of self-work in order to get to where you are today.

14:48I mean, obviously you've got a thriving business, but how do you see the world today? Well, I see the world as something that we are constantly giving and pouring into because we expect to receive something in return. And that's not the way that it works. The way that it works is that you have to fully invest in yourself first so that you are whole enough to be able to face the world because otherwise it'll continue to knock you down. And when you attach to a cult-like behavior or society or a culture like that, what it does is it actually creates separation. It doesn't create connection. That's true.

15:32That's what growing a business is all about. You have to create a culture of vulnerability and transparency in a business in order for others to really believe in you enough to grow it with you. Otherwise, everyone's going in their own direction. And so it applies to so many aspects of life. And I think if we look at the world today, we need more people that are willing to say the hard things to say in a loving way, that are willing to share their truth without the consequences of judgment or the repercussions of other people's opinions of what's, you know, what they're doing, but really to be open, because that's what establishes a sense of community.

16:18What can we learn from your story as it relates to leadership within the workplace or within our organizations? Because obviously you're at the helm of a thriving organization yourself. And, you know, I think, again, it's, you know, we've all had our challenges and struggles and, you know, we've all experienced certainly, God, I hope, you know, you know, yours is atrocious and that's awful. but somehow right it's like I know Tony Robbins will talk about and it's this is so not my place to even bring up this concept you know in in light of your story but you know this concept of of blaming elegantly or finding a way to find meaning you know a la you know Victor Frankl and so forth and again I feel wildly uncomfortable even bringing up this concept because I think it's it's it's very I think it feels disservicing at me and bringing this up but how would you approach that concept of, you know, taking bad things.

17:16And then again, going back to where I started this question with the, you know, kind of the whole leadership thing, you know, where we could use this professionally to accomplish great things. That is a great question. I hid for so long that it started to actually make my business fall apart. Because what happens when we hide our truth or we will pretend everything's okay, or when we wear this mask, then you are unrelatable. And what started to happen is I started to lose really good people because when people can't relate to you, they shut down. They don't feel important. They don't feel valued.

17:56They don't feel like they can open up and share what they're struggling with and allow that to, to like be put to the side, but they can still share it so that there's an openness there. When I actually started to share with my staff, and it didn't have to be the depths of information of what was happening in my life, but when I started to say, I am struggling and I cannot do this alone, I feel alone and I need your support, they absolutely picked me up from the floor and they rose up even higher because I gave them the ability to grow just by being open and honest and transparent about what I was going through.

18:43Now, I didn't have to give them all the details, but think about this is when I had to go tell my staff that I was leaving my husband, who was the VP of sales, the visionary, the face of the company, that impacted them greatly. but that truth also empowered them. And that was the beauty is that the more truth that I spoke, the more it empowered them. And then when he did take his life, I was on the floor. There was no way that I could see past my tears. I couldn't pull myself together. I was a disaster. And in that moment, they rose up and they led the agency and continue to stabilize the agency while I was still broken.

19:32And I don't think they would have done that if I continued to hide. Yeah. Serena Mastin, your book is Exposed. You Can't Heal When You Hide. It's on Amazon right now, your websites, serenamastin.com. That's your personal website. And again, your, gosh, I just had your other. My marketing website. Yes. Pulse marketing. Marketingteam.com. That's it. Yeah. Pulse marketingteam.com. Serena, when somebody goes to your personal website, obviously by the book, but either on your personal website or at pulsemarketingteam.com, If someone says, okay, other than that, maybe creative services is something that they could use, or I don't know if you're, are you planning on speaking, or do you already do workshop and keynote speaking on this?

20:26Well, that is the next phase. I just have the courage to publish the book. Yeah. That was my finger shaking, pressing the button. But my next phase is like reaching out to nonprofits, speaking and sharing and really hoping to empower other business owners and just people in general to really face some of these issues. Because that's the only way that you can get through them. Serena Mastin, thank you so much for your story. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story. And, you know, again, here's to hoping that, you know, we can create interventions that we can, you know, interrupt bad cycles and patterns and identify bad cultures and bad relationships that are abusive in nature.

21:14And, you know, certainly awareness is probably one of the greatest things that we have, you know, that we're talking about these difficult things and that we're looking out for one another. And I appreciate you looking out for everybody and being courageous enough to share your story. Sooner Mastin, again, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.

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