1659 – What’s Your Why? with The Life You Love Coaching’s Joe Lander

0:28Hey there, thoughtful listener. million dollars in revenue. Just head to upmyinfluence.com and watch my free class on how to create endless high-ticket sales appointments. You can even chat with me live and I'll see and reply to your messages. Also, don't forget, the thoughtful entrepreneur is always looking for guests. Go to upmyinfluence.com and click on podcast. We'd love to have you.

0:59with us right now it's my good friend joe lander joe you are a legacy coach and breakthrough facilitator you are found on the web at the life you love coaching.com joe lander it's good to have you my friend great to be here josh great to spend this time with you absolutely so what does a breakthrough facilitator and legacy coach do? I don't know if there's anyone else who's doing anything different, but for me, I got to tell you, it's really about to understand why I do and what I do. It really starts with what is my why. There was probably the most viewed TEDx talk of all times, if not, it's in the top two, was from Simon Sinek, a well-known consultant.

1:54And he said, people don't care about what you do. Everyone starts with, what do you do? What they really care about is why you do what you do. Then you can talk about it. So I like to start with why I do what I, what's my why? And my why is to contribute. I actually found and figured out that success happens when I can make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. Plain and simple, that's my superpower. That's I can't get away from that. That's who I am. My how I do that is I challenge. And what I mean by challenge is I challenge the status quo way of thinking and challenge the box that many people have unconsciously even put themselves in and don't realize the options that they actually have and what's really within them.

2:45And then ultimately my what is what you can count on me for is to make sense of it. So like, how do we take all this that we've uncovered and figured out and actually move forward with practical solutions and strategies that make sense? And that's who I am. Now, where I bring that, to answer more directly, what is it that I actually do, what is a legacy coach, what's a breakthrough facilitator, is at this point, I focus on helping who I call the successful professionals and executives, particularly those that are really heart-centered, mission-driven, who know there's still something missing from their lives, despite all the financial and professional success that they've experienced in their lives.

3:34And I help them actually identify, create, and live their own unique, meaningful legacy so that they don't ever have to live a life of regret. Joe, you are a former attorney, HR manager, financial advisor. You've done some pretty interesting stuff. You're pretty uniquely qualified. Would you mind maybe just kind of touching on that a little bit for someone that might be, they may have stumbled across this podcast because they're looking at you and this is, or they're looking for something that we're talking about. And here we are having a conversation with you. But how has your past kind of brought you to this moment in the work that you get to do with clients today?

4:21Sure. Well, and that's where my why operating system comes into place. No matter what I did, it was always about contribution. So as an attorney, my biggest contribution was I settled and more cases than any other attorney at my firms, wherever I worked, because I was there to contribute to the ultimate relationship between these parties, not just win at all costs. So that contribution showed up there and I figured out solutions that made sense that made both parties able to move on. As a financial advisor, again, how do I contribute to this family, to this business owner, to this executive, and having a life that really is the one that juices them up and makes the biggest difference for their family.

5:13And ultimately, what got me to this point was after almost 20 years in financial services as a certified financial planner and wealth manager, I reached a point where I realized the game that is the Wall Street game and how that's played and how, and I would help my clients how not to get hurt by that and how to actually master that. And then what it all started with was a question, what is your true purpose for money? That which is more important than money itself. And we would go, not many financial advisors start with that question. They're like, all right. Talk about your assets. Let's talk about that.

5:53Oh, yeah, yeah. Right? Your retirement date. Yeah. I think particularly, like I remember having one conversation, and we were doing some other kind of business or something at the bank. And the guy's like, hey, how are you doing on 401k? And I said, well, we're self-employed. And so it's a little unique, our situation. And all of a sudden, it felt like we were speaking two different languages. Because again, I think his stock and trade would be folks that are working a little bit more conventionally. They want to work to 65, 70 years old, then retire, then enjoy a great lifestyle, right? And so keep stocking that stuff away so that you can live then and maybe not appreciating that there are more assets than just a nest egg that's sitting in some accounts.

6:43Yes. And not always is someone sitting in front of you. Like if that was me having that conversation with you, I don't expect that you would necessarily even be able to tell me what that is. But I would certainly want to encourage you to sit down and have a conversation and let's figure that out what that is for you. Is retirement even a thing? Or are you doing what you love so much that you imagine that you'll be doing this and this is your way of contributing to others for the rest of your life? others feel like they've achieved a good level of financial success but and it's done great and it's helped their families and and they contribute to others and causes they believe in but they somehow are missing that there's something unique that they're actually here for they sense that it's there there's there's some way in which they want to be known and that can make a difference for generations to come.

7:37And many of them find themselves reading a lot of, you know, personal growth and development books, attending workshops and retreats and trying to figure out what is it that they might be missing and not really realizing that the real problem is that they haven't realized for themselves that the clarity they're looking for is there by becoming their own guru and by having someone who doesn't just give them some process or give them some workbook or do a retreat for a weekend get them all pumped up jumping up and down and then monday morning hits and like okay now what but actually helping them put together the puzzle pieces of their lives in a particular way uh kind of indiana jones style we're gonna we're gonna put this together, figure this out, and then really excavate these deeply held core beliefs that ultimately, by them articulating that in a very particular way, they start realizing, man, that's it.

8:41That's what I want to do for the rest of my life. And that's what I believe would be my legacy that I think would make a major contribution to the world. And I say, let's have at it because legacy is not something you leave. It's what you get to live now. Oh, wow. That's a pretty cool reframe. I like that. Joe, do you, I would imagine that you end up getting to work with a lot of high achievers. And I wonder, you know, and I know that I've had, you know, conversations like what we're talking about right now. And one thing that But I think my, you know, anyone else involved in that conversation, I wonder if you experienced this too with high achievers.

9:28Oftentimes, I'll hear stuff like, you know, you're doing pretty good here. I wonder if you feel like you're being a little hard on yourself. I suspect you hear that, you know, because listen. You know when I hear that the most, Josh, is in my own head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, listen, this is, I don't suspect this is very unique, you know, for folks, you know, who are concerned about topics like legacy and truly out there creating good stuff. But tell me more about, you know, what you've experienced, both, I would say, personally, and then, of course, folks that you work with. Yeah, well, so personally, and what makes me relatable, and what others get a sense from me is, this has been a theme my whole life.

10:16So you pointed out the various roles and there were others in there as well, which you can see on my LinkedIn that I went. You can look at it in one way and say, man, this guy seems to job hop a lot or change careers a lot. And while I do really now, especially looking back, appreciate the variety of experiences that I had, whether it was in corporate America, a quasi-governmental agency like the Postal Service and covering the Northeast for them as an attorney, whether it's as a financial and wealth manager, if all of it was, I was always asking the question, is this really what I'm here to do?

10:57Is this really what I'm meant for? And can I see myself doing this the rest of my life? And there are other people I know, I'm not the only one who asked that question. And at times, we still stay in the role we're in because we say, you know what, I can see how this satisfies my desire to contribute and I get to challenge and it's all great stuff, but I don't know that this is really it. So by continuously being sort of, although comfortable, never satisfied and always inquiring and asking, is there something more that I'm meant for? It's what led me to the different experiences that ultimately had me come to the point where I realized, wow, this is really about helping.

11:46It's about what is the legacy I'm going to live and how can I help as many people as possible? Self-actualize, you know, we're talking top of the Maslow's hierarchy here, so that I get to be part of all of those legacies in that I help this person co-create or come up with it and come up with a plan to actually achieve it. And I get to just enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that this person is living a life of fulfillment and meaning and joy and intimacy and energy and vitality that I somehow was able to help them on their journey with. Joe, I'm trying to think of like, you know, someone who's listening to our conversation right now and how they might describe, I mean, and you've done this a few times now, but, you know, I'm thinking of someone that might feel like out of the groove.

12:41They might feel a little more less, right? They're not sure that they know where they're going. So a little maybe, like, what's the end game here? Why am I doing this? Or maybe they're feeling a little burnt out, or they don't feel rewarded in their work. I mean, these are kind of maybe some things that I'm thinking about. If they were to describe where does it hurt or what's going on, I could see some of those phrases coming up. And does that sound about right? Maybe that or anything else? Sure. There are those, and that was me for many years, and I relate to those, and I certainly enjoy working with someone like that because that gets back to that challenge that I talked about, the idea of often we're so in that box that we think there's no other way.

13:34I mean, I've got myself financially set. I'm not looking to necessarily pivot to another career. Although some of those burnt out high achievers you described, they actually might be looking for, there's got to be some way I can take the skills that I've honed and transfer those to something that I actually now enjoy and I'm excited about the way I was when I originally started my other career or what I had been doing. And what might that be? And again, it's that person feeling so stuck. A lot of times they don't even want to admit it. It's fearful. It's scary even to articulate that out loud in any way.

14:17and they there may be others that are dependent on them to keep it together financially and otherwise so by having someone who's been there and who can talk them through and help them actually figure out what that other thing might be not by just like career coaching and saying okay let's figure out well okay we're going to give you this test it shows you know this myer brings or this skills the strengths fine whatever it might be that's going to tell you your strengths and we're going to now list out these other possible no we're going to create this we're going to dive so deep into what your life is has plant has actually prepared you for in a way that you haven't been able to separate yourself and take this grander look and do it not through a book, but through someone engaging with you and, and iterations and coming to something that you now are going to hit a point where you see, wow, all of that has led to this and all these beliefs.

15:20This is what I really want to be doing. How can I do that? And now we get to roll up the sleeves and make that happen. Yeah. How do you work with folks, Joe? What does that typically look like? I mean, so someone listening to us right now, they're like, can they have a conversation with you? Do you, how do you work with them? Yes. A great way to start. Someone who actually just knows, all they have to do is go to my website, which you pointed out, the lifeyoulovecoaching.com, and they'll see a place where they can book some time with Joe. And we'll have a conversation. We'll have a legacy strategy session.

15:57What is your personal, you know, what is that, what might that look like? A preliminary conversation and go from there. Others may want to just kind of on their own, just learn a little bit more, get more of a sense of who's this guy, what is he, you know, is there something that really fully resonates with them? And there on my website, they'll find actually a masterclass type of a training video in which I really expound upon the distinctions and some of the items that we've been hitting on together today, Josh. So that'll be the webinar and training will be on that website, as well as my background, as well as who I work with, how I work with.

16:40And it goes through the seven-part framework that I use that anyone who I've shown that to, whether they're statistic-oriented or heart-oriented or whatever, or some combination of the book, anyone who sees what I call the RESOLVE framework, then RESOLVE is an acronym, And each one of those is a step in the process for actually figuring out and implementing what is your personal impactful legacy that you're here for. You know, Joe, your website, again, thelifeyoulovecoaching.com. Are there any other assets that you'd recommend? Or maybe someone that's like, I'm almost ready, Joe, to have a conversation with you.

17:27But maybe I'd like to learn more about you first. Or, you know, is there something that I can dig into any long form content, any anything that you would direct them to beforehand? Well, I spent a lot of time putting that type of content into the website itself. But there are opportunities as well once they've taken a look at that and say, you know, I'd like more info on my own just to read where I've put together some some digital assets, some how-tos that they say, you know, I want to give this a shot myself. I'm not ready necessarily to engage and have you hold my hand and let's walk through together, Joe, in which case I would direct them to a couple of pieces I've put together on breaking through the limitations that might be holding you back and what does that look like, as well as figuring out what might be the legacy that you're here for and some ways in which to go about that yourself.

18:32I have found myself after over 30 years of personal development and transformational workshops and programs that as much value as I always gotten every one of them, it wasn't until someone took an interest in me so that it was no longer a transaction, rather it was someone who was on the journey with me, that's when things exploded. That's when I figured out who I was and what I was meant to do and what I was going to commit the rest of my life to doing. So that's, I'm a big advocate of it, but I respect everyone's got to be on the journey in their own way and take their time and learn what they need to.

19:12And if, and when the time is right, I'm here to help. Yeah. All right. Joe Lander, again, a breakthrough facilitator, legacy coach. Are there any maybe leaders in particular, you know, or like if you think about like who is like your just your perfect kind of fit that you've been able to help create breakthroughs with? Like, what might they be doing? What might they be doing professionally? Like, who are they? Well, the first person that comes to mind definitely is a business consultant and breakthrough facilitator himself by the name of David Baer from David Baer Consulting. And David was the one who posed the question, do you have a process, Joe, in which you can predictably and consistently cause breakthroughs for another?

20:13And when I looked at that question, I said, geez, my whole life I've been doing that in some way since a kid. I brought inspiration where I was saying things that others weren't able to that made a difference for them. But can I say that I have a process that can consistently do that? I didn't. And that's when I embarked on a journey with David and put together that process that is partially included in what is the resolve framework. And it's geared towards overcoming what I call the ills, the inevitable imagined limitations that will arise as soon as you start saying, oh, my God, that's it. That's what I want to do.

20:54And then the reasons and limitations start coming about why you can't do that. So you need to be armed with how do you overcome that? How do you break through that so that it doesn't ever stop you from really doing what you're meant to, what you're fired up to do, and what you know will make the biggest difference now and for generations to come. Joe Lander, again, personal friend. You and I have had the opportunity to work together. We have a lot of shared connections as well. Folks that we each work at here. Okay. Insider, insider thing. Go to Joe's website, go to the life you love coaching.com.

21:33And then in a separate tab, open up, up my influence.com. And I want you to look at the two websites. Yes, we share the same designer. But I got to tell you, so Bobby's our mutual web designer. but when I started talking with Fabi, she goes, oh, let me show you a website. I think you're going to like it. And so she showed me, Joe, your website. And I'm like, yep, that's exactly what I want. You know, it's uniquely ours, but still, I think you'll see a lot of shared elements there. But I just wanted to point that out, little insider baseball. And that's awesome. And we can't mention Fabi without pointing out how Fabi Paolini from Brands That Attract is far more than just a web designer.

22:19That is her. Oh my gosh. Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. No, I know you didn't. And just to elaborate, she is so heart-centered herself and is so devoted to impacting others that the reason we are so in love with our websites and in love with her is because she takes the time to really get you and has a brilliance in being able to then portray that in website and other messaging content form. Yeah. All right, Joe Lander. Again, your website is thelifeyoulovecoaching.com. Joe Lander, thank you so much for joining us. A pleasure, Josh. Great seeing you again.

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