2159 - A Guide to Storytelling That Attracts Clients with The Story Engine's Kyle Gray

0:05Hey there, thoughtful listener. Are you looking for introductions to partners, investors, influencers, influencers, influencers, and clients? Well, I've had private conversations with over 2 ,000 leaders asking them where their best business comes from. I've got a free video you can watch with no opt-in required where I'll share the exact steps necessary to be 100 % inbound in your industry over the next six to eight months with no spam, no ads, and no sales. What I teach has worked for me for over 15 years and has helped me create eight figures in revenue for my own companies. Just head to upmyinfluence.com and watch my free class on how to create endless high-ticket sales appointments.

0:51Also, don't forget, the thoughtful entrepreneur is always looking for great guests. Go to upmyinfluence.com and click on podcast. I'd love to have you.

1:05with us right now it is kyle gray kyle you are a story strategist uh you are a speaking coach and you are the founder and ceo of the story engine your website is the story engine dot co kyle it's great to have you josh thank you so much for having me uh there's just this little flash as a podcast host myself there's something that magic happens when you press record and there's an immediate transformation i think people notice this in my own voice as well but there's like a difference in tone and energy as soon as we're like we're going there's like a there's there's this like pro mode that that activates and i just saw it in you and that's a reflection in me as well thank you so much for having me this is an incredible labor of love that you've put together and I'm honored to be here and serve your audience today.

1:57Well, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. No, when we're on stage, we're no longer alone. So now I see a guitar behind you. Please tell me what you play. So recently I've, I've arrived at a point of success in my business where I can be my own patron. And so I play guitar and I also use a software called Ableton, which allows for some electronic music, some looping and things. And so I have been creating a lot of my own. I'm a singer songwriter. And actually, this is what really got me into this world in the first place. In my late teens and early 20s, I was certain the only way I was going to live a happy and fulfilled life was by being a rock star singer songwriter.

2:45I ended up putting a lot of pressure on myself to make those things happen. I kind of burnt myself out on the craft. And now I'm in my mid thirties have been just giving myself the space to make it my medicine, my enjoyment. And I'm still publishing and creating things. And I'm really happy about what I do. And we can talk about some of those, those different things that I nerd out on, but it's, it's really what I credit the foundation of my skillset. Have you posted anything? Are you on SoundCloud or Spotify? I haven't. I am just finishing an EP, I guess, or a four-song set. I played it for a New Year's Eve 2024, and I called it 23 and Me, which were four songs from 2023 about moving, about a lot of change, about experiencing different things for me.

3:43And I have this, this is probably a common entrepreneurial problem, but I focus a tremendous amount of energy on this set in particular. And as soon as I played it New Year's Eve, I was like, okay, I'm done. And I move on to the next thing. And I don't always like think about it. And, and so in the last couple of months, I've been re-recording and putting it all together. I'm going to hire a producer or somebody that can put the final polishing touches on it. and then I'm going to start putting it up on SoundCloud. Fun. Yeah. Please ping me when that does go live. I'd love to support you in that.

4:18I've mentioned this before on the show, but about a year and a half ago, really never having, I could do okay bar band vocals, but unfortunately, I think too much podcasting and I really just thrashed my vocals and I just, I don't have it anymore. Other than that, really never played any instrument. But I tell you, I picked up the bass about a year and a half ago. And it is such a joy to our friend that's listening right now. If you were in my boat and you thought, well, listen, all these other people, that's just something that they can do and I can't do. I just don't have a musical bone in your body.

4:55What I discovered, I read this in a book and it blew my mind. When you're learning an instrument, I'd love your take on this, Kyle. And then we'll talk about your superpowers, what you do for business. But I heard this and it was just so it just hit me so hard. And it was this, it's like when you're practicing and learning something, whether you think you are learning it or not is irrelevant. Like if you're, if you're just playing on a guitar or piano or whatever, and you're like, I'm just going through the motions here. Like you don't need to worry about that. Your brain is, if you do the activity, you are subconsciously building your muscle memory.

5:33Your brain is getting more engaged. I promise you, it is just, it's a superpower. But that little aha moment really just gave me the patience that I needed so that I could get over that hump. Because in the beginning, I felt like I had kid fingers, right? I just like, I'm making noises all over the place. I'm like, I can see where I hit the notes, but I have no coordination and it sounds sloppy and messy. And it just, you know, that consistency, it just led to now me being okay. I'm not great, but that's okay. I'm having the time of my life and I can do over a hundred songs. Now I can play through really easily.

6:09I'll tell you YouTube and there's a lot of great software out there. I think, is it Rockstar or something like that that I use? I'll have to look up the name of it. But there's so many great tools today that if you've ever considered picking up an instrument, now is the time a friend to our audience, a friend that's listening, do it. All right, Kyle, thank you so much for indulging me. Tell me about what your superpowers are in business with the story engine. Yeah, before I do that, I would just be remiss in my relationship with music is very profound in a certain way. And I think anybody who's listening is a very high achieving person.

6:46And what your goals are when approaching music is not how many songs you can learn. But I hope that you find it a way that you can enjoy the process. I put so much pressure on myself to perform and achieve and simply getting lost in the process, simply enjoying it is one of the greatest medicines that you can give yourself, especially when you're spending most of your day doing your brilliant things and your brilliant work. And so give yourself the space and the opportunity to do that. Don't try to be the greatest rock star ever. Just enjoy the process. And that is truly winning. You know, one thing, too, I got to say, by the way, it was Songster is the program that I just, you know, I, you know, as of like four months ago is just like that is my go to.

7:34And that's where I've been just learning so many songs so rapidly because of how you're able to work with it. But, you know, what another thing that I love about music and performance music and my wife and I go and see a lot of live music locally in in a live music environment, we are gathered together to share something that we all love together. We have this common love and this music, you know, whatever it is like going to, you know, we went to a Metallica tribute show and a Pantera tribute show. And, you know, and like thinking about, you know, these are a lot of hardworking people right here.

8:05And you know what? I probably don't agree with, you know, some of those folks and some of those folks. It doesn't matter. In that moment, we are one and we are all sharing that moment together. And there's that feeling of united. And so when social media tries to tear us apart and all the other nonsense that's out there, you know, I love coming together around music. So thank you, Kyle, for indulging me again. Let's talk about the story engine. Absolutely. So my magic trick, what I do well, which I really credit being a musician and thinking about ways that I could influence and inspire is something that is translated into the work that I do today.

8:45I work with many different experts who have become too smart for their own good and help them tell better stories about themselves, teach better, and really take away most of it is of what they want to say or share. because most of us talk way too much because we've been so deeply immersed in our own forest of expertise over many years and help them bring forward the real gems in who they are, in what they're doing so that they can get better results speaking on stages, on webinars and on podcasts. Yeah. Do you mind Kyle talking specifically about what are the element And are there formulas to great storytelling?

9:32And if so, like if you were to give a little mini TED Talk on how to develop your story, what would you say? Yes, there are formulas. These are learnable things, which is very good news for everybody. And just like what we were saying with music, this isn't something that somebody's just naturally great at and it's not accessible for you. But a lot of people have critical blind spots and misunderstandings. And I'm particularly talking about experts who want to speak to sell more of their products and services. So let me distinguish this between, I'm not necessarily talking to somebody who wants to be a keynote speaker and be paid to speak.

10:12And that's great if you want to do that. I'm talking to somebody who wants to speak and inspire and generate massive action and sales from their talk. So they would give their talk for free. A lot of my people pay to speak because they're so confident in their process and what they're doing that it inspires movement. And so there are certain formulas and frameworks. One of the things before we get into actual stories, which is what I love to talk about, but the battle is won and lost in teaching and how much we teach. And a lot of the times experts get lost in their own blind spots in thinking about they, we always try to create talks that serve us and that make sense to us.

11:01But a lot of the times, what it takes to become who we are as an expert means that we've really lost touch with what our audience needs and finds interesting and moves them to action. And so most of the time, cutting out 90 % of what you want to teach about to find that 10 % and what is the 10%, instead of teaching people how to do something and giving them every single step and showing them everything that goes into the process, we just want that small 10 % that will shift their beliefs about what's possible and open them up to action. And that will move them forward to wanting to work with you.

11:41And I can share some stories and examples of this later on. Another great thing is there's an essence that I call risky resonance. To get to where you and I are and where most of our listeners are, we have achieved a lot. We've learned a lot. And we feel that who we are is less important than what we've done. But in a world where there is AI overload everywhere, there's ads, there's so much information, and you can find any answer that you want on Google. What's valuable these days is wisdom and showcasing who you are in a way that shows your audience, I understand you, instead of trying to make the audience understand who you are.

12:32And one of the greatest ways that we can do this is actually by immersing ourselves in our client's language. This is something that I do on my podcast that I have a great, great time with. I ask my guests questions about who is your ideal client? How would they describe their problem over coffee with a friend? How would they, if they gave you a call at three in the morning and they're in a blind panic, they're saying things that they've never admitted to anybody before. What are they saying to you? And then I'll turn it around on my guest and say, when did you feel like this? Because when we start immersing ourselves in this particular kind of language, feelings appear in our bodies.

13:16and as entrepreneurs and high achievers we've gotten very very good at not feeling those feelings because we have work to do god we and uh and this by tapping into the physiological effect that these words of our clients languages are happening something magic happens and they say wow i never thought about this moment or to share this thing before and a lot of times it feels risky to talk about these moments or share these moments. But a lot of the times, these are the moments that have inspired you, that drive you, that show you and show your audience that you are here for them. And it's not just about sharing these moments of pain, because a lot of people think that this is either overly vulnerable or at worst manipulative, but it actually is an opportunity for us to paint our client's language on that moment and to speak to them.

14:15Because if we get up on stage and say, you have a dirty secret, I know you do. You're thinking this. Everybody's going to be like, man, this guy's a real jerk. I don't want to talk to them. Right. But if we say, I have a dirty secret, I was struggling through this. Then they're like, oh my gosh, this person snuck into my house and read my journal. Yeah. And this person's just like me. And it really dissolves that barrier that audiences can have with the speaker, you know, when they recognize, Hey, you know, this, so it's, it's so from my perspective, I would look at that, like they start seeing themselves.

14:52So they're identifying with the, the hero in the story there, because the hero is the speaker, but the speaker is them. Like they're putting themselves in that story. You know, something I wanted to share with you, and I think you touched on this a bit and I love this. There's a YouTube video that I came across. I shared it with all my kids. And it was this YouTuber, his name was Nathan Zed. And it was how trying became cool again. And I think you'll appreciate it because talking about the state of music right now. And there was a trend that music, a lot of popular music, not all of it, But a lot of it started to get a little lazy in what was it, you know, just a lot of that, you know, kind of like, and it became cool to look like you weren't making an effort.

15:43And the point that he's making is that he's seeing a lot of what audiences are craving. And you mentioned this, and I think this is perfect application for what you're talking about. Audiences are craving real. They are craving authenticity and true not authenticity as a buzzword, but connection and humanity. So AI can take over a lot of the other stuff, but at the end of the day, still being able to connect human to human. And this YouTuber was making the point. And again, to our friend that's listening, you can search this. It's just the title is called How Trying Became Cool Again. But I thought he'd make some really solid points using music as, or popular music, as maybe an indicator of where trends are shifting.

16:32Yeah, I think that this is, it's going to become more and more valuable. and be as there in these next couple of years i think that ai is going to move into our world in so many ways that we can somewhat anticipate and we can't anticipate and i think trying is if i were to translate that into something that really makes sense for experts is showing that you care. And the fact is that we've gotten so far along in our business and what we're doing and what we're creating. And we couldn't have gotten here without some wires getting crossed in our own psychology. And I would, I would wager that everybody that is the kind of person that would listen to this podcast has gotten addicted to their achievement in some kind of way.

17:32And this implies that who we are, we feel that there is a deficiency in who we are. And this is dangerous. And showing that you care and showing that you understand is something that we intellectually want to do, but it feels scary and it feels risky because we think that what the audience wants is as much as we know, we want to read our resume, we want to read all of our achievements, and we want to prove ourselves to them when we are on stage. And this is especially so when we're on an amazing show like this one here, or when we're on stage in front of a lot of people, we want to prove to them how smart we are.

18:16But this is actually the secret saboteur. When we are trying to prove ourselves to our audience and show as much value as possible, we are in fact distancing ourselves and harming ourselves and doing a disservice to our audience. But by thinking, by being willing to showcase who you are, by showing that you care, and by using simple, learnable, repeatable formulas to do this, we can access a whole new level of connection. We can create much more action. And one of the best things about this is we can actually have a lot more fun when we're speaking. Because I think a lot of people, they're either afraid to speak, a lot of people enjoy the idea of speaking.

19:03But when they get like C minus results, and then things kind of cascade back into their business, it makes everything else harder. It makes your lead generation harder, it makes your sales harder. If you are not good at speaking and communicating who you are to attract your audience, then everything else slows down in your business. And a lot of the times you have to spend less time in your zone of genius to compensate for all of these other things happening. And that's why it's so very valuable, even though it feels risky and it feels counterintuitive at first because we've spent so much time developing our achievement.

19:43All right. So your website is thestoryengine.co. when somebody goes to your website. And by the way, you're a podcaster as well. Do you mind maybe just sharing your podcast? And then again, to our friend that's listening, we'll have them go to the storyengine.co. Yes, it is the Story Engine podcast. Let's talk afterwards. I would love to have you on the show. I have a really unique format that I'm very proud of. Excellent. I use this counterintuitive method to draw out the perfect authority stories of my guests. It appears like a normal interview for about the first 30 minutes. I'm asking you who your ideal client is, what's unique about you, what outcomes do you provide?

20:29But then I start working almost like a therapist or sometimes an anti-therapist because a lot of the times I'm trying to bring out those painful moments and memories. And I'll start asking harder questions than most of us are used to answering in the kind of ways of like, tell me about a specific day when you felt exactly like your clients. And a lot of the people that are the kind of people that we work with and speak to will try to teach me something anyway. They'll be like, well, this is what I had to learn in that day. And I'll be like, no, I want to know what it smelled like when you walked into that room.

21:01And they'll squirm a little bit and we'll be drawing out the right details. And I know the formulas. I know the frameworks that make up great stories because I've practiced them hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times. And the climax of the show is I will tell my guests their story, applying these frameworks and applying the information that they've shared with me in a way that they've probably never heard before. And everybody that comes onto my show comes away with an authority story that they can use to open up a great talk and get their audience ready to learn from them for the rest of what they have to teach.

21:40All right, Kyle Gray, thestoryengine.co. The podcast is The Story Engine. All right, we'll see you later, my friend, on one of your episodes. Thank you so much for the invite, Kyle. It's been great to have you. Thank you.

21:59Thanks for listening to The Thoughtful Entrepreneur Show. If you are a thoughtful business owner or professional who would like to be on this daily program. Please visit upmyinfluence.com and click on podcast. We believe that every person has a message that can positively impact the world. We love our community who listens and shares our program every day. Together, we are empowering one another as thoughtful leaders. And as I mentioned at the beginning of this program, if you're looking for introductions to partners, investors, influencers, and clients, I have had private conversations with over 2 ,000 leaders, asking them where their best business comes from.

22:41I've got a free video that you can watch right now with no opt-in or email required, where I'm going to share the exact steps necessary to be 100 % inbound in your industry over the next six to eight months with no spam, no ads, and no sales. What I teach has worked for me for more than 15 years and has helped me create eight figures in revenue for my own companies. Just head to upmyinfluence.com and watch my free class on how to create endless high-ticket sales appointments. Make sure to hit subscribe so that tomorrow morning, that's right, seven days a week, you are going to be inspired and motivated to succeed.

23:22I promise to bring positivity and inspiration to you for around 15 minutes every single day. Thanks for listening and thank you for being a part of the Thoughtful Entrepreneur Movement.