2170 - How Emotions Shape Your Reality and the Law of Attraction with The Third Element's Randy Lyman

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1:05With us right now, Randy Lyman. Randy, you are a physicist. You're a mechanical engineer. You are a multiple eight-figure business founder, and you are the author of the book, The Third Element, The Missing Key to Activating the Law of Attraction. Randy, it's great to have you. Great to be here, Josh. Randy, before we get into some stuff I am so excited to talk about, what do you do in your free time? What are you into lately? What have you been watching, reading, listening to, hobbies. What do you do for fun? Well, I love to ride my dirt bike in the desert and I try and get out a little bit every week when I can.

1:42So I love the speed. When I'm at speed, that's when my mind is the quietest. What kind of dirt bike is it? I have a few Hondas. I have a few old two stroke, two fifties, a newer four 50 race bike and a little KTM trail bike. So I'm absolutely a bike enthusiast. Do you go off? Do you go off like jumps and stuff as well? or oh yeah do you really what's what's kind of like what's your what what is the biggest kind of endorphin thing that you do when you're out on the dirt bike well i love the whoops what they call the whoop-de-do's where it's bump bump bump bump at speed because what happens good there's a really good physical workout and if your coordination isn't right you're gonna crash it's gonna hurt but when you get it right it's beautiful you just skip right across the top of the bumps and it's a lot of fun wow it's like skipping you're like a rock that's been skipped to cross or something like that.

2:33Kind of, yes. That's really cool. That's cool. Have you posted any pictures of this or like on social media or anything? I think there's one picture of me landing off a big jump out in the sand dunes, but I can't recall at the moment. Okay, so no Evel Knievel stuff, but what's the biggest jump that you've done? Oh, I've done like, I don't know, 110 feet or so by accident. Wait a minute. That is Evel Knievel stuff. Are you kidding? 110 feet yeah i was riding a track i was riding a track uh near las vegas in california and i there's two three jumps in a row the first two you hit hard the the third one it was first time out in the track i overshot it and i landed way the hell out there and flat landed and i didn't crash completely but i kind of lost it and didn't get hurt but it's dangerous but it's no joke like Would that mess up your battle for L that mess up your spine?

3:32Well, I broke my neck actually six years ago writing. So it's dangerous. Got to be careful. I slow down a little bit now that I'm 63. Right. Now that I'm 63 years old, I've come back to like 95 % instead of 105%. Ah, you know, that's incredible. But I'm glad you get so much joy out of it. And I bet that there's something there that leads into the topic we're going to be talking about. because Randy, you are very much a left brain kind of person, physicist, mechanical engineer, and you got into some law of attraction type stuff. Tell us what's going on here. Well, 35 years ago, I had found great success through being educated and hard work, but I hadn't really found happiness and fulfillment.

4:16So I met a woman who introduced me to the more spiritual, emotional side of life, and it changed my point of view. along the way I had a few really big epiphanies that I talk about in my book The Third Element and I'll put it up for a pitch right now I got to take advantage of that but I had some experiences where I saw cause and effect and as a scientist as a physicist we always look at what's the input what's the response and when I had a big emotional release and then I saw the world around me change the interactions I had with people my relationships and I saw those positive responses to my own internal work, then it opened my eyes and I started looking at the world completely differently.

4:57So you're a man of science. Can you bring this together for us? How does a man of science, I mean, because some might look at this and say, well, this is starting to get a little woo, woo. Well, I actually explained it in the book all the way down to the subatomic level with fun stories. It isn't just isn't complicated science with fun stories that talk about how our reality is created for us by the law of attraction through resonance. And in science, we learned that opposites attract with regards to electrical charge, but with regards to frequencies and vibration, things are in resonance. And so, for example, our cell phone is a frequency.

5:38It sends out electromagnetic, electromagnetic wave that's in resonance with the tower. And all these invisible things happen where they're done based on frequency resonance. And that's how the law of attraction interacts with us. It responds to the vibration of our thoughts, the vibration of our actions, and the vibration of our emotions, including our old, unresolved emotional trauma. Yeah. So for those who may be familiar with, remember when Rhonda Byrne came out with the law of attraction a long time ago, what do you like from that film and what you maybe don't necessarily agree with? or maybe have a different take on it would be a better way to say.

6:20Okay. Yeah. Different take. So I have a different take. So I believe through my experience, our thoughts are part of what creates our reality. Our actions are part of what creates our reality. But what I talk about in depth in the book that nobody else has really talked about in depth yet is how our emotional wounds, how the energy we hold from an emotion we didn't feel completely in the past. The law of attraction is obligated to remind us of that old emotional wound energy we carry. So if I was in the eighth grade and I'm trying to talk and the teacher cut me off and I'm sitting next to a girl I got a crush on, that's traumatic.

7:00Was I beaten as a kid? No, I had a great childhood, but a lot of little things happened that were traumatic. So now I'm holding that wound that I didn't feel completely. The key word is completely. It's like gasoline. Emotions like gasoline. If you store it in a metal can, it'll store for 10 years and you can still burn it. Once you burn it, it's gone. So if I can find a way when somebody cuts me off in traffic, if I can find a way to connect that to somebody cut me off when I was trying to speak, I feel the feelings completely, whether it's through a breathing exercise or EFT tapping or journaling or whatever it might be, then I feel it and release it.

7:33Then now the law of attraction is no longer obligated to remind me of that old emotion that I was subconsciously hanging on to. And that's what the book is all about, to explain it, to make it fun, to give people some light at the end of the tunnel. So when we have challenges come up, we deal with the outside world when we need to set boundaries and we need to deal with it. And that's still appropriate. But the real power comes from how do I change myself through my thoughts, my actions and my emotions? You know, I can't help but think about like when you're talking about these experiences we had that involve other people and how easy it is for us to do the spotlight effect, right?

8:12So it's not the event that scarred us. It's our emotions around the event that have created that lasting impact or effect on us. This is kind of more of a stoic philosophy here that I've been into lately. but yeah I mean it's you know it's it's kind of like that same thing it's like two people can look at the exact same event and have a completely different experience like if I you know we've all probably done this with you know family members from back in the day remember when da da da da and they're like man I don't even remember that and then we come to find out you know we've been harboring resentment about that that whole time like man they haven't even thought about it and yet here I've been thinking about it and as a result you know I just know and we know this like in psychology, like if you're just in a sour mood or whatever like that, you know, listen, God bless you if that's what's going on and stuff.

9:04But, you know, it's hard to then create a space of joy or co-create a space of joy when that is the emotion that you're resting in. And unfortunately, I think for many of us, a lot of this negative stuff is probably not real helpful and or necessary. Well, okay. But, but the thing is the original emotional response, we, we have an experience, our mind makes up a story. We have an emotional response in the moment. It's appropriate for that moment. Move towards this because it's good. Move away from this because it's bad. Yeah. If we don't feel that completely and just feel the complete emotion, then it stores within us.

9:43And what happens is we then are unaware that we're hanging onto it, But again, the law of attraction reminds us of it. And then we have the ability to decide, am I going to focus on the negative? Again, perception, as you talk about, or am I going to find a way to feel the pain? And what's different in my philosophy is I say, embrace the pain, find a way to amplify the pain, not because we want to be stuck there, because we want to move through it. And when we move through it and we let go of that, we release that pain. We have whatever experience we have, whether it's just I feel it, I'm upset.

10:19I go scream at a tree in the woods, whatever that might be. And I let it go. Now, positive energy replaces that. And that helps my life be better. So I can't avoid the negative things. And at times it's appropriate to put them aside and say, I'll deal with it later. But sooner or later, we deal with it, embrace it. And then it's out of our life. Yeah. So, so process, so fully processed. And that's another thing I find, like, if I ever do feel sour from a maybe a negative interaction or something like that, it's usually often because I didn't get to say everything I wanted to say or I didn't say the things I wish I would have said.

10:59It's more of a, you know, that's usually for me when I notice that if there's, you know, feelings that are unsettled still. Yes. And in business, two things. First of all, in business, I needed to learn to get through my own stuff so I could show up calm and confident and clear and compassionate rather than worried. And that changed my business completely. And the other thing is I have the choice as to how I approach people. And when I approach them with a way that I acknowledge them and I listen to them, as you said, listening, and I truly listen. and I leave a gap in between their speaking and my speaking.

11:41So if they have more to say, they feel like they're heard, then suddenly they see me in a more positive light. They know I care. And by changing my behaviors and my approach to the people I work with in business, we built great teams. We had great accomplishments that weren't because of me. If I could do everything on my own, I wouldn't need to be a leader, right? I just go do it. But being a leader is about inspiring and guiding and directing the people we work with to be the best they can be to accomplish things together. And when I really got that concept and I worked through my own challenges and I showed up differently, that's when we really found success.

12:20Yeah. Well, Randy, tell me about the book. The book is called The Third Element, The Missing Key to Activating the Law of Attraction. uh you mentioned this briefly but go ahead and talk about what is the third element okay so the third element is one of the three categories that everything in the universe falls into there's only three categories there's our thought and information there is our body in the physical world the physical reality around us and then there are our emotions emotions and feelings and anything in the universe in our world falls into one of those three categories or is one of those three elements.

12:58The third element for me is my emotions. I go to my emotions last, but it turns out they're the most powerful in creating a great reality, creating a great life, great relationships, better health, and more wealth. And so in the book, I talk about how are all three of our elements, but especially our emotions, interact with the law of attraction and how we can change our approach to improve our life. All right. So how can we make this more of a practice? Well, the practice becomes first, as I outlined in chapter seven, there's several different exercises we can do to become more aware of our emotions.

13:35If we want to exclude our emotions from having an influence, a negative influence in our life, we first have to acknowledge them and then we can make a separation. Even if we don't heal them right away, we're more aware of how am I showing up intellectually and what is creeping in from my emotional past. And so that's what I identify in the book. And again, in one of the chapters are several different exercises that are fun and easy to become more aware and to move through the energy to process through, as you said, and to be more clear. Well, what would be the transformation that you would hope, Randy, when someone picks up this book?

14:17Again, it's available on Amazon, just published at the beginning of March. So congratulations. It's also on Kindle, including Kindle Unlimited. Do you mind, like, who should be reading this book? And by the time they're done with it, what would you hope might be taking place in their life? Anybody who's been kind of meddling in or trying the law of attraction and not getting the results they're looking for, this brings it all together. This is the third leg on a three-legged stool. If you ever tried to sit on a two-legged stool, it doesn't work very well. So anybody who's been working with the law of attraction is getting frustrated.

14:57This is going to bring it all together for them and make sense of it. And what I hope people get is some light at the end of the tunnel or say, yeah, Randy, what Randy presents here is logical and reasonable. It makes sense. He shares stories where he shows his work for him. And I'm going to try this. And I hope that they have enough, enough courage to suspend their doubt, try some of the exercises, and they start to build their faith. And when we have more faith in what's possible, something that's bigger than us that we start to understand, then we can have hope. Then we take risks. We take risks speaking up.

15:31We take risks helping our family, our friends, the people we work with in our community. And that's what I hope is people start to see more hope in their life and they start to understand how they can improve their life through some simple changes. Randy, do you work with people? Do you do consulting or coaching? I do consulting. I do coaching. I work with people that on a professional level and that I meet on the street or an airport. So I always love to hold that space for people to have a better feeling and understanding of what they're going through emotionally so they can find clarity. Yeah.

16:05Your website, randylyman.com, R-A-N-D-Y-L-Y-M-A-N. When somebody goes to your website, what would you recommend that they do? Well, there you can read a little bit about me, but also click on the how-to and you'll see some of the practitioners I work with. click on the books and there's a whole list of books that I've read personally and that have helped me. So reading is big for me. Now that we've got electronic versions, we can take it with us. And I will have an audio version coming out in probably three or four months. So there's a lot of helpful stuff and some free stuff on the website you'll find.

16:44Awesome. Randy Lyman, thank you so much for joining us. Again, the website is randylyman.com. Randy, it's been a great conversation. Congratulations on the launch of your book. The book is The Third Element, The Missing Key to Activating the Law of Attraction. Thanks, Randy. Thank you, Josh. Good to be with you.

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