2316 - Five Common Mistakes Keeping You Stuck in Your Business with Tori Boats

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0:58With us right now, it is Tori Boats. Tori, you are a strategist. You are found on the web at ToriBoats.com. You are also the host of the podcast Scale Right Revolution. Tori, it is so great to have you. Thank you. It's nice to be here. Yeah. Listen, before we talk about the work that you do, and obviously you're huge on helping business leaders scale their revenue. Can't wait to get into that. Before we do, I always love kind of learning what, you know, high achievers are into in their kind of their free time and their personal time? Like, you know, what are you geeking out on? I guess is a good way to present that question.

1:39Well, I have three kids, and they're very busy. And one of the things we're binging right now on Netflix, because I mean, who doesn't watch endless shows on Netflix is Grey's Anatomy. Like we're going back to really when I was a kid. And so it's kind of fun to remember those episodes that you forgot. It's also really sad. My sister-in-law just watched all of Lost with her kids, kind of a same flashback. So this is crazy. I've never seen an episode of Grey's Anatomy. So catch me up. What's it about? It's a silly question because I'm sure our friend that's listening is like, this guy's really never seen Grey's Anatomy.

2:21It's just one of those ones I've skipped. Yeah, it's less about the medicine than it is about the drama of all the characters. So it's your typical ensemble cast that all have intertwined lives. And then they mix in with the people that happen to come into the hospital. It's just one of those dramas. So you like Grey's Anatomy. Did you have you happen to see it? Sorry, have you seen The Pit on HBO Max with Noah Wiley? No. Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's what's that? Like, I love house. Yes. So this is so fantastic. My so my brother in law, who's a doctor and has worked in, you know, high stress, you know, ER situations is absolutely the most realistic portrayal of life in a very under resourced ER.

3:13and it's basically the whole series is just one day where everything goes wrong in the ER. But he said just the way that they all engage with each other is very, very accurate. And so, but yeah, it's called The Pit. It's based in Pittsburgh, so P-I-T-T. But we love that series. That was, I may not be for kids. It's a little graphic. Yeah, definitely not a little, you know, family lighthearted uh drama but yeah there's definitely a lot more graphic television shows nowadays like um sabrina or all of the like wednesday they like to watch wednesday which is yeah it's more it's not as gory as some of the adult right i loved season one of wednesday i thought it was fantastic i'm not getting into season two as much so which is unfortunate because But I really, really, I thought that Wednesday, the first season, was very much kind of a spiritual successor to like the Harry Potter kind of vibe.

4:16So, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, Tori, talk about the work that you do. Oh, that's an open-ended question. Well, I remember when I was in my first business, and this is my third business, and I remember how lost I felt building it. And it was very successful. You know, I built it to eight-figure revenue. We were profitable every single year. I had 75 employees. And I found myself without anyone to help me from then on. Like, it was easy to find help when you're first starting. Mostly, I mimicked other businesses. And eventually, I ran out of ideas. I ran out of ways to think about my business differently because I didn't know any better.

5:03I didn't have any other models. And it got very lonely. and quite frankly, I ended up being really miserable because I was just growing and growing for the sake of growth. And I didn't even have any direction. I didn't have that anchor point or that spark to have a reason for growing. And that's why I started doing this coaching stuff because for over 20 years, I've been coaching business owners because as I grew the people coming underneath me or that who were newer in business were looking to me. And it was just part of our culture to help each other and to be that mentor. And I noticed that there was nobody mentoring me.

5:49And the large businesses that I had relationships with couldn't relate because they'd never run a business. They were in their own little vein running their piece, but then they had teams that they didn't even know what they were doing. And in a small business, when you're bootstrapping, even when you have funding, because I also dabbed into M &A, there isn't that support. So I really wanted to learn how to do business a little differently, where people aren't growing to that point where they're kind of lost. You know, it feels good to grow and you get material things, but then eventually that isn't enough.

6:29Yet you still have this compelling thing inside of you telling you that you still want more. You haven't reached your full potential. What else is there? This seeking. And that led me to kind of reflect on all the mistakes I had made. And I started to make them in my second business as well, because I cashed out of the first one after I I merged another business in and started something new. And I started making the same mistakes, like I mentioned. So I kind of pulled those things together on how do I want to do this differently and ask myself different questions. And that became my, the way that I coach today, which is, I call it the street here.

7:13I can't even remember the visionary advantage system because I didn't think I could be a visionary. I always wanted an advantage and I took all of those mistakes I was making and pulled them into how can I do it different how can I challenge business owners to think differently about their business their life their business goals and personal goals how to meld those together so that they form a cohesive brand and you can be differentiated because I always wanted to be after. And this is a way that I have found to not only do that, but love what I'm doing and helping other business owners do that and give them the support that I didn't have drives me every single day.

7:57It's really interesting. I'm curious about your observations of kind of the psychology of the business owner who goes through a very similar cycle. And I wonder how many of us are kind of like, you know, we're working out of necessity so that we can have stability or freedom, you know, consistency. And then we get there and we're like, okay, well, you know, I have more than enough money to pay for the things I need. And I wonder if that shift in, you know, we don't have this, you know, kind of tiger that's like nipping at our heels constantly. I wonder if that plays into this or if you have any theories about what's going on?

8:43I don't know. I haven't really come across it with the owners that I work with, because I find that there's that internal motivation that you just want to figure out what else there is, what's next, what's next. It's almost a comfort zone that you get into with your business where, hey, I'm comfortable at seven figures, but there's something impaling me to grow to eight and why? You know, I think if we don't stop to ask that question, you can get in a lot of trouble and build something that you don't like or build a life that you don't get to live. Does that make sense? Does it follow? Well, sure.

9:23So then I guess the other way to look at that would be, okay, so you have someone that has this compelling need to just keep growing. It's You know, my favorite two words that I like to say in instances like that, or if we think about these self-imposed deadlines, that, listen, as high achievers, these are helpful. Like, you know, that we have high expectations of ourselves. But my two favorite words that I like to ask myself is, who said? And to, you know, to really think on that a second, it's like, well, wait a minute. It's just me. and who am I trying to impress? Am I trying to impress dad?

10:02You know, because I don't need to do that. Dad's not looking for that these days. What are you finding? Like what compels leaders to keep pushing and they may be doing so without that clear direction of the why behind this incessant need to keep growing or do this or do that. And again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it unless there is. And that's what I'd love your take on. Well, money's not bad. Good people do good things with good money. You know, we've all heard that. I don't think that's necessarily a bad motivator. That was my initial motivator. When I started my first business, I wanted to do more, make more money than I could with my salary.

10:55And I'd say probably 60 % of the business owners I work with, their primary motivator for starting their business was money. And the second, which comes in almost close to making 100%, you would think some people say, oh, it's legacy to leave a legacy. But it really isn't. It's that internal change. I want to make a change. I want to make a difference through this business. So you have two different reasons, but it doesn't necessarily give you that spark or that clear direction that moves you through all of the pain points. And building resilience is something that you really have to figure out as you go.

11:38But then having someone help you really clarify that strategic direction, the vision overall, putting a fine point on it and helping you figure out what comes when you've made money, what comes next. and that can be difficult to figure out without having someone to bounce those ideas off of, that thought partner who can kind of help you through that next phase. So I don't think it's wrong to want more and to have that as your driver or to want to make a big change as long as you mentioned the part that's wrong with that is when you lose yourself along the way or when you put everything into it that you neglect the rest of the things that you could have in your life.

12:26Like, are you spending the time you want with your kids? Are you making those bonding moments happen? I love to work. My clients tend to love to work too, various reasons, but there comes a point when you become this workaholic zombie, it consumes you. And when you can kind of put it into a different perspective, not to not work, you know, if you'd like to work and it gives you energy, do it. But having that almost like a container, you know, I find that when you can give your creativity and your ambition, a container or something to go for, and it's clear, boy, that that is the biggest motivator.

13:12And that helps you sustain that motion and not be in competition with everybody else. Because what drove me to build my business and to continue to grow was, oh, well, my peers were growing their business and they just grew it because it's the thing to do. It's logical. It's a logical next step. And so you think of that keeping up with the Joneses, but I don't think it's the same thing. I think it just feels like a natural progression and like I should and I have to. And then there's the influence of if you see someone in your industry who all of a sudden makes it big or is talking about their lifestyle and it's not what you're experiencing and you want that.

13:57It could be, ooh, I want designer bags and I want to go to the Preakness and the local horse race here and have a booth and treat all my friends and fly them in and go on these elaborate vacations and ride on a private jet. that could be a motivator too, which I don't think is so much the Joneses as much as giving you a new perspective of what you could have in your life. And then that can become a motivator. So I think there's a different, it's interesting. There's a lot of, you know, almost like, you know, flipping through like a Christmas catalog or something like that. If we think about it, that, and do I really want that?

14:32And, and I don't know, do you, because, you know, you better get clear on what the, I mean, there's going to be a cost to that. Like you can build for that. you could do that, but you're probably going to give up some things and you sacrifice in order to get that. So you have to then decide, do I really want that? Or let me challenge it this way and say, are you using the same thinking that got you where you are today to get you to that next level? Or can you be challenged to think differently? If you feel like that goal is impossible or possible for other people, but not you, who says, right?

15:12Who says, and who says you have to build your business incrementally? And so I like to challenge the question that you're asking, not you, but that people or business owners are asking is, are we looking at this in an incremental fashion or is there a different way we can think about the problem? Yeah. And can you just kind of take that and then maybe share a little bit about what working with you looks like? How are you working with business leaders in that position? So the cool thing is I culminated some of the biggest mistakes that I made and that I see that are uncommon into a guide. And the reason I did that is because I wanted one place where I could reference the common mindset issues that I see.

16:04Because as we're solving for operational things, or as I'm helping a business owner really prioritize their giant list of to-dos when everything feels like a number one, we can get into the weeds really quickly. So when they're kind of on this plateau, as I describe it, and they don't know what step do I need to take next to get me to this point where I want to grow, I will always start with that defining that why. Right. So working with me is either one on one where we're going to explore those things together. Or we might do like a VIP day where we're working on a project that has a definite quick outcome.

16:46But all the pieces are there. So mindset or the way you think, the challenging thinking, the vision, the role that you're playing in your identity. and as well as the operations and the execution and the team. You know, all those pieces come together. And I think a lot of the consulting that you might see will miss two or three of those pieces. They'll only concentrate on, oh, we need to make a system and hire five people. And I think that's a mistake. Your podcast is called Scale Right Revolution. Do you mind maybe just sharing a little bit about that and then other resources that our friend who's listening may want to dip into.

17:27They may not be ready for your Go Beyond Seven Figures program, but there may be some other things they can dive into. Do you mind sharing all those resources? Sure. So my podcast, you can find at toriboats.com slash podcast. That's T-O-R-I, boats like a ship. That is Galwright Revolution, which is for that business owner who's looking for that challenging position. they want to explore what is scaling as you typically see it and what is scaling a different way. So I'll explore a lot of those concepts and ideas there. I also have the five mistakes keeping you stuck at a million dollars. It's a playbook and it gives you those mistakes that I see.

18:16There's also a bonus one. There's a sixth one hidden in there. So you can find that there on my website. And a lot of my episodes also have companions. So if I'm talking about a balance, a concept with balance and challenging how I look at balance, that's a resource you can download right from that podcast. And again, your website, toriboats.com. And to who would be, for someone that would work with you, what do they do? And what level should they be? what do they do as in their role or no next up somehow they've stumbled upon this podcast they've listened to our conversation all about the pit and um other medical tv shows i am not a doctor uh so they can head on over to my website uh that's a good way to get started um i have coaching they can coach with me they can do vip days with me i also have uh something I'm working on called a leverage momentum map that gets you started on identifying that growth lever.

19:22So if you're at a point in your business where you want to grow, you're not sure which way would be best or feels the best for you or matches what you really want in your life. You have that goal you're kind of afraid to commit to and you need a thought partner to walk through that with you. That's where I come in. I work with established business owners. You don't have to be at the seven figure mark. I target seven to eight figures because that's the support I didn't have. But as long as you're going in your business and you're looking to grow or scale and you want a thought partner to help you through that, that's a good time to look me up.

19:59Yeah. Tori Boats, again, the website, toriboats.com. Tori, I also see that you were in the Air Force. So thank you. I was in the Navy and you were a linguist and we were in about the same time as well. So what a cool experience that was. You mentioned Adrian, um, from good morning, Vietnam. Uh, yes, yes. Who I had the, I had the opportunity to meet and mentored us for a day, which was kind of cool. Yes. Uh, yeah, I was an Arabic linguist. So, um, that's one of the, had you learned Arabic in high school or something? No. Um, I tested, uh, into the language program. It's a certain way that you think they test for that.

20:46And I had an affinity for languages. I've always loved language. So I went to school in the military to learn Arabic as my job. It was amazing. Do you ever get to speak it now? Not today. I'd probably be too embarrassed to say anything now. But back in the day, right now I'm learning French because why not? Yeah, very, very good. Tori Boats, thank you so much for joining us. Again, your website, ToriBoats.com. Thanks, Tori. Awesome. Thanks, Josh. You have a great day.

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