2480 - Leading Change Through Clarity, Compassion, and Communication with Connie Rawson Coaching's Connie Rawson

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0:46Visit podverify.com if you'd like to be featured as a future guest. I'm Josh Elledge. Let's get into it. with us right now connie rossin connie you are the founder of connie rossin coaching that's your website connie rossin coaching.com which we have all linked up connie it's so great to have you yeah thanks for having me great to see you you know uh i we're gonna talk about your superpowers i i'm really uh excited to talk about this because um one thing for our friends that are listening. I know one thing that you help with are candid conversations, which we're going to get into in just a second.

1:26Before we do, I always love talking to high-level leaders, what they're doing for fun or kind of geeking out on outside of work. And you and I just chatted briefly about this. Really impressive. What have you been doing for fun? Yeah. Well, you know, ever since the pandemic, I've been saying I'm going to reteach myself the piano and I finally started. So I took a 20 year hiatus and I've been replaying again and it's been really fun. Wow. You know, I talk about this frequently and I just think it is such a great hobby for those of us, you know, kind of get into our forties and beyond and, you know, maybe parenting gets a little easier.

2:04Maybe life gets, you know, we have a little bit more time for ourselves maybe. And so I picked up the base a couple of years ago and it is, it's one of those hobbies. I'm sure that's what you're experiencing. It's like, it's an endless amount that you can do and the fulfillment that you get, right? Tell me about your experience, especially after a 20 year hiatus. Yeah. I mean, I was intimidated. I'm rusty. I'm still really rusty, but it was, you know, it's just, it's nostalgic. I started out saying, just do it for 15 minutes. And then 15 became 45. I mean, we're on technology all day. And so it's really nice to step away from that and be creative and make my brain work in different ways.

2:45And, you know, it's fun to play songs, you know, you know, popular songs or whatever. So, yeah, it's great. It's been a lot of fun. So what do you use to play piano with? Are you using like an iPad with an app on it? No, I'm old fashioned. I'm using books. I mean, I can read music. That's how I learned as a kid. So I like having books and that's how I'm playing. And what is a song that, do you play contemporary songs as well? I mean, I'll play some classical stuff. The contemporary, honestly, is more fun, I think. So, yeah. Anything I might know? Oh, I mean, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Oh, yeah, sure.

3:27Everybody kind of knows that song. So, yeah. Oh, that's great. Well, Connie, thank you so much. And to our friend that's listening, seriously, like some of these instruments are actually pretty easy to kind of get going. Like even if it's like a, you know, ukulele or something. Sorry, that was a Hawaiian. Ukulele or something. Those are really easy. But it just, it really is, especially for those of us who work from home. And we just need to be able to step into the next room and just like not think about work for a good, you know, 5, 10, 15 minutes or something like that. Perfect, perfect hobby.

3:59Thank you so much, Connie. Yeah, absolutely. So let's, yeah, let's talk about the work you've done. You've worked with some really big names, Salesforce, Nationwide Insurance, Intuit, DraftKings, a bunch of others, Mozilla, Workday, Zendesk. So Connie, what are you doing with these clients? Yeah, I am helping leaders and their teams through transitions and change. And so, you know, we're going to talk about candid conversations. And, you know, that's critical. communication in general is tied to everything we do. And it's really critical for leaders to be able to communicate effectively, especially, you know, in today's world of transition in the workforce and AI and all of the things.

4:43So I help leaders with their leadership goals and how to drive productive, effective teams. Okay. Well, I would have to imagine that, there's regular change, which is just a constant, and then there's big change. Where are we talking? I mean, I would say all, I think change, whether it's regular change or big change, just depends on the person. Most people are change-averse in some way, but I would say big change. I live here in San Francisco. I'm kind of in this tech bubble. There's lots of restructuring. AI is coming into the picture. There's layoffs. I've done a lot of work in mergers and acquisitions.

5:31So to me, it's big change. But it can be as simple as a new leader coming on board and people have a new boss. And that might seem small, but it's really important and that's changed too. Yeah. Well, you know, I've I think as leaders, Connie, you know, we all have the opportunity to have a conversation that we might be pretty uncomfortable with. Before we actually talk about the mechanics of how we might pre-communicate that or actually communicate that, how do we maybe get ourselves ready? and not freak out and not imagine, oh no, it's going to be a big blow up. It's going to go bad, which sometimes, again, our fear or our brains trying to protect us or thinking all about these worst case scenarios of how this might go.

6:25And then it's going to, people are going to get hurt. I'm going to look like a fool. Like again, I'm sure other people don't have this problem, but if they did, what could we do? Yeah. I like to think about it is what's the end goal, right? I think that when you're thinking about having to communicate something hard, you know, get people can get in their own heads of like, how is the other person going to react? How am I going to feel? How can I make this less uncomfortable? Do I have to do this? And I think that the emotions come in really quickly and you lose sight of why you have to communicate it in the first place.

7:06So I think starting with the end in mind is really helpful. Yeah. And so let's say that this is some feedback that you need to share. This is a really, really common one. So managing a team, you know, we just have some issues that keep coming up. Well, Connie, is there a way to preface a conversation? I'll tell you this. you know if we also want to be very mindful of the well-being of our team members I was just someone was just talking about this like don't say on a Friday by the way I want to talk to you on Monday like don't do that right yeah what's what's wrong with that picture Connie oh gosh I mean that's happened to me before when I was an employee you know and then your manager says do you have a sec?

7:55I mean, it could be, do you have a sec? I need you to do something. You're getting promoted or you're in trouble. I mean, you know, but I think just human nature, our minds go to like, oh no, what's wrong. Um, and so yeah, absolutely. Kind of that, that heads up without context just leads people to play a guessing game and fill in the blanks. And that tends to be probably a little more on the worry or, or negative side. Yeah, that's an easy one. Give them context of what we're going to talk about. Yeah. And what about when there's, you know, let's say there is a restructuring and we're like, it's going to be messy over the next six months.

8:39Because I know this is something you've done quite a bit. Mergers, acquisitions, change in leadership, restructuring, that sort of thing. how do we even begin to wrap our brains around how we're going to handle change man is change management right yeah yeah change management is a huge part of communication and so i think you know when you think about change management you're thinking about who are your who's your audience or audiences right you know um it could be a group of people and how might they respond um not all change is bad. Some is good for some people it's neutral. Um, and then I think just the acknowledgement, it's going to be hard and, and, and delivering hard messages takes courage.

9:23And, you know, I think that just really sitting in that acknowledgement and a willingness, it's part of the job. I mean, it is part of the job is to be able to be courageous, for the sake of the people that need to get that message. Wow. So I know you've got a, and I don't know if we've been going through it. I think we were just talking about courage here. Yeah. Talk about clarity. So by the way, what we're referring to, if our friend is listening, go to ConnieRawsonCoaching.com and then there's a tab that says resources. When you click on that, But, Connie, you've got a bunch of really good things here that I think are, I mean, well thought out.

10:06You've got some different guides that folks can just click and start reading. You don't have to give you a thank you for not asking for the email address and all that other stuff. But they're just right here. So and the one we're referring to, the folks can just grab and kind of follow along. It's called Are Your Candid Conversations Working, which this is really great. In fact, this is, I mean, right now as I'm looking at it like this, I mean, this would be such a helpful guide if I know, okay, I've got a contractor and we're having issues and it's causing problems. So for me to just kind of get clear on my own stuff first and trying to see it from another person's perspective, like if I do all of that ahead of time, I feel like it's just going to be so much more productive.

10:50But would you mind maybe talking about section two and three, clarity and compassion? Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, to your point, you know, no one likes having these conversations. And I think that, you know, when you're the person that has to deliver the conversation, you know, because most folks don't want to do it, sometimes the actual message gets lost, right? there's almost so much empathy or they're trying to soften the message for the sake of their own discomfort and the discomfort potentially of the other person when it's a hard message that the message that is not always clear and so it's really important a to make sure that those points come across but to also ask the the person you know what's going on for you what you know can What are you taking away from this conversation?

11:42Do you have any questions for me? You know, making sure that the easiest way to know if your message is coming across and you're clear and there isn't an intent and a perception gap is to make sure you're hearing from the other person. You know, I just had a conversation that potentially could have because there was some with a partner, There was some stuff that was, we were really upset about internally. Yeah. But, you know, when I got into that conversation, he's good, really great guy, you know, so, but, you know, the first, and it was really just kind of spontaneous. It kind of came out and I was like, oh, that was actually pretty good.

12:22But just, you know, beginning the conversation, just like, can I just ask, you know, what are your goals for, for our engagement here together? And then I just let him kind of go, you know, through that. And I'm like, well, shoot, I don't feel like we were that misaligned now. You know, when I just be the one asking questions first and all that other stuff I was worried about. We're not even going to get to that. Like, whatever, man, we can we can move on. We're adults here. I love that. You know, it's so true. I think so much of of this is almost just it's a miscommunication or maybe a lack of alignment.

12:58Then it may rather than an actual problem. You know, that may that may be the case. You know, if you have to, if you have a performance issue with an employee, they may say, you know what, I just, I've had too much on my plate. And I've been working, you know, this happened with one of my clients. They had to deliver a tough message. And the, you know, the employee said, I've been working late at night. I'm distracted. I've got too much on my plate. And, you know, that's fixable, right? Like instead of assuming what is going on with the other person, just bringing it up and letting them explain what they think is going on can get to resolution much faster.

13:35Connie, you know, under compassion, your section three, you talk about, you know, having people being able to walk away feeling respected and valued as a person. That's not always easy. But I think it's also really helpful. A lot of these things is, you know, if we have a culture of that and any any I would imagine you're a fan of that. It's like, you know, then it's like when you have to do it, it's not weird. It's like, yeah, that's just how we roll here. Right. But yeah, you know, particularly on the topic of, you know, making sure that folks feel respected and valued, even if you have an underperformer, how do we do that?

14:13Yeah. Hey, you know, it's still, this is so important. The person that you're communicating, they're still a human being, right? And I often tell people, if you were in their shoes, what would you want? Would you want the truth? If you weren't performing, would you want to know so that you could fix it? Or do you want this to just drag out and have your manager, you know, frustrated? frustrated um if you're getting if you have to lay somebody off right like i've seen this it's really unfortunate happen where people are just getting an email saying hey you've been laid off just pick up the phone and make a phone call you know um just out of respect for the person that has to get that tough message you know lead with compassion um at let them have a voice ask them you know if they have anything to say really listen and you know and explain why deliver the message but do it kindly Connie your website ConnieRawsonCoaching.com I assume coaching is what you do so when folks go to your website you know obviously you know click on resources because that's what we've been talking about and just honestly you made my job real easy too so I I appreciate that.

15:28I use the guide myself. So, yeah. So your services, do you mind when, you know, when folks go there, what would you have them do if they maybe want to grab a call or, you know, how you can help them? Yeah, absolutely. So I've mapped out my services. I do one-on-one coaching. I'll do some teamwork as well. And, you know, I have a background working in mergers and acquisitions. So coaching, you know, that's kind of a huge change. So coaching leaders through that change, you can see my services there. And then, you know, we've been referencing this candid conversation guide. I've got a number of other guides related to other leadership topics around communication and other things.

16:11And then they can get in touch with me directly there. And I would love to love to hear from folks. Connie Rossin, you're a good person to know for our leader friends who are listening. If you know you got some tough stuff coming up or maybe you've had tough things going on with the organization, particularly think big change type things, big evolutions. Don't do that alone. I mean, even if you think you're really good at it, I know myself, it is always far better to at least work with someone as a sounding board. because I'm sure you've seen what otherwise might be very well intended, like on how to convey something or make a decision around something.

16:56And you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. If you do this, I know in your heart you're trying to do the right thing. Do not do that. Right? Like I'm sure you've had those kind of conversations. It's always well intended. And even the best leaders stumble through these hard conversations. You know, it happens to the best of us. So Connie Rawson, you're on the web at Connie Rawson coaching.com. Connie, it's been a great conversation. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me.

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