509 - Meghan and Harry, Classic Trump, & $40 Trillion In Debt

31:34Because you realize what a fantastic job they do. In those dangerous moments that we have, we always try to fall back on our training. We are trained so well by many to handle that situation as best we can. Trump is so bored. Stop it for a minute. Trump, nothing interests Trump less than people saving other people. It really is boring. And by the way, I'm a little bored by it too. I get it. Like, I'm happy it happened, but I'm also a little bored.

32:00Tim Dillon:I grew up in Long Island. Like, I'm like, yeah, whatever. All right. He's like, in those, you know, the lifeguards, like, in those moments of extreme danger, in the moments of extreme danger. We make sure that we coordinate. And then Trump's like, all right, yeah, but who's making money here? Where's the money in this? Trump's going, where is the money in pulling this fucking Mexican kid out of the ocean? Where's the money in this, buddy? Trump knows one thing. He goes, here's what America wasn't built on, this. Whatever you think about America was not built on people saving other people. That's not what America was built on.

32:35Tim Dillon:Trump's like, I just, listen, you can, Trump is so bored when this young lifeguard is talking. He is so bored. He's thinking about how to sell access to his true social post, which he's already doing. He's thinking about bringing in, you know, people, he's selling access to, you know, to people that are big investors in Trump coin and the Bitcoin scam. And Trump, now Trump's eyes would have lit up if the kid said, we're launching a coin. We're actually launching a crypto based on this event because we believe the event was so powerful that we are launching a crypto and Trump's eyes would have lit up.

33:21Tim Dillon:People would go, really? That's fascinating. But nothing excites Trump less than a story. And by the way, there's a part of me that understands that. and it's not a part of me that I'm proud of and it's not a good part of me, but it's the part of all of us that none of us admit that we have where it's kind of like, you know? It's the part of us where we go, yes, we know this kid's a hero and he did the right thing and it's an amazing, it's the human spirit and I'm even boring myself talking about the good thing the guy did. Let's continue our president. And by the way, I feel bad that our president kind of has to suffer through it.

33:59Tim Dillon:That's why he's going like, I wouldn't have done it, you know? What are you getting out of this? Continue. I'll have the water as fast as I can. And for shaping my future, I want to be a firefighter in the future. Hopefully go through paramedic school. Trump's like, no money in that. That's a good start. We'll give him recommendations. You may have some good recommendations. Go ahead. I hope that everybody can take away from this and try to help more people. Try to look out for everybody around you. And not this White House. Just try to help everybody out. as much as they can. And they would rather do nothing else.

34:35That's very good. I think it's great. This is very exciting to me. Yeah. You know, it's so exciting to see something like this happen. Right, right. He's a real hero.

34:44Tim Dillon:Right, right. You know, when you see that, I don't know if I'd do it. I wouldn't. Right, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have saved you. You're lucky I wasn't on the news that day. I don't know. He goes, you're lucky. Yeah, you're lucky I wouldn't have been on. Yeah, he says to a child. And he's a real lucky guy, too. All right, get him out of there. He says to a child, you're lucky I wasn't there that day. He's saying this is the first time the child has met the president of the United States. This is the first time the child has met the president of the United States of America. And he's saying, you're lucky I wasn't there.

35:20I would have let you die because that's what our country is about. You see why I'm sitting here in the Oval Office adorned with gold? It's not because I pulled a bunch of Mexican kids out of the water. In fact, I put a bunch of them in cages. There's a ton of people that look like you that are in a cage right now.

35:35Tim Dillon:So, I mean, this is an interesting insight into the psyche of Trump. You don't get a lot of them, by the way. You think you would get more because we've, you know, so much of him is lore and mythos and whatever. And, you know, it's such a show and it's such a, you know, It's so fun and it moves so fast, but every now and then you get a real insight into who the man is. And he really lets his guard down here and lets you know what he feels is important. Like when the kid's like, I want to be a firefighter. And so I'm just like, what? What? You want to run into a house that's burning and get someone you don't know out of the house so that they can breathe?

36:28What's that? Like Trump cannot understand that part of him completely doesn't exist. Best case, he thinks it's nice maybe that it happens. He's like, I guess that's good. I guess it's good that people do that. But not one part of him understands self-sacrifice or grabbing another human being, putting them on your back, endangering your life to bring that person out of a burning building so that they can breathe air, Trump's like, I just don't know about that as a business venture.

37:10Tim Dillon:How does that, that, and it's not fun. Here's the other thing about Trump. Trump goes, yeah, it's not really fun. Like houses burning down, people drowning. Not so much fun in that. You know what's fun? Firing people in a boardroom on television, being a wrestling heel like doing big rallies landing in a helicopter and like calling people names that's fun roasting people that's fun this isn't funny he gets bored he goes I don't know about this it's not good TV that's what we've always said about Trump he likes good TV he goes well you know the saving of the kids fun for a minute but you know then it's over then it's over eh doesn't really do it for me He knows that what the American public wants to see at all times is carnage.

38:01Tim Dillon:Carnage. Carnage. Trump knows that that video is viral because the kid saved the other kid. He knows it's more viral if someone was drowning someone. He knows it. He goes, more people want to watch someone get forcibly drowned than saved. He knows that. Well, that's our president, folks.

38:24Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing as a Fish.

39:08Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are no such thing as a fish.

39:49and Natalie Harp you know this one of his assistants or whatnot who's obsessed with him and people keep going you know it's fodder now Natalie Harp is all of the people by the way that are left with him all of the people that he said there's a creepy loyalty there's a creepy loyalty Trump's blonde aid Scottish love letters exposed her disturbing starvation confession resurfaces after a screaming match with staffers here, make this a little larger. Intimate letters written by Donald Trump's personal secretary in which he confesses to starving herself while working for him have resurfaced following.

40:28Well, this is what he likes. This is what he likes. A 35-year-old woman who is starving herself to remain appealing to him is what he enjoys. That is something that he likes. Quote, I am also sorry if I was an embarrassment walking the course in Scotland, she wrote. Harp then goes on to admit she starved herself and forgot to sleep while working for Trump, saying, I want things to always be right between us. I also know I've been distracted all week, forgetting to eat throughout the days, and even forgetting to sleep, only catching a couple hours at a time. Her letter concludes, with all my heart, Natalie.

41:08And you know, he reads that and he likes it. He loves it. And this, by the way, His approval rating is now 30%. The people, the people, and by the way, they're not forgetting to eat or drink. Trust me, I know many of them. And they're actually no stranger to the knife and fork and bar. But this is the level of devotion you need to have now to ignore everything to the contrary.

41:33Tim Dillon:The economy is crashing. I mean, Walmart is saying people are spending less money. Walmart. Walmart. Okay? Walmart is going, hey, people are not even coming. they're spending a lot less money here. I think Walmart has had like the lowest in like six years. Walmart has had like the lowest

41:59growth

42:03Tim Dillon:in the last six years. And they're noting that people are spending a lot less. Walmart says it's using 2.9 billion tariff refunds to lower prices for customers. Yeah, Walmart posted the slowest sales in about six years. This was New York Times. Walmart post slowest sales growth in six years as Americans tighten wallets. and Walmart is pretty broadly indicative of either the middle class, lower middle class, working poor. By the way, even people that are probably in the upper middle class, you know? There's a group of people that go to Walmart. I don't like Walmart. It's too big. There's too much going on.

42:58Tim Dillon:I've been to them. They're not my thing. But if you have a bunch of kids and you're on a budget, a lot of people are going to Walmart. The company's stock fell more than 9%, erasing tens of billions of dollars in market value in its steepest daily decline since 2022. So all the people that Trump went, he rode on their backs to the presidency again, a lot of them outside of the Israeli billionaires that wanted the Iran war and the tech billionaires who wanted more money for Palantir and then just the billionaire billionaires who wanted more money for whatever, for bunkers. Outside of the working class, it felt like the Biden economy wasn't working for them, which it wasn't, and inflation was high, and their prospects in the country were getting dimmer.

43:50Those people have all been sold out.

43:56And places like Walmart are registering a drop in sales because people are trying to do more with less and they just don't have it. They don't have the money and it sucks and that is why the DSA is ascendant

44:17Tim Dillon:and will remain ascendant because really, you can only believe in something for so long when you're broke. Like when you're losing, when your life sucks, and you can't fill your car with gas and you have to make real choices, you can't go on a vacation with your family, you can't give your kids the things that you want to give them, you have to budget school supplies and food and activities they want to do when you have to do all of that. There's only so much you can buy into like Eric Trump and Don Jr. and Ivanka and this whole gag of lagoons and people are taking photos and they're talking about the new era of American innovation and they're talking about AI and crypto.

45:15And, you know, this economy works for a few people that own AI companies in San Francisco. That's who the economy works for. It's a few people in San Francisco that own AI companies. coincidentally who are trying to power the American economy on artificial intelligence instead of human intelligence.

45:36Tim Dillon:And those people, the economy is working out really well for them. The economy is working out. So if you're like Sam Altman, if you're an autistic, you know, AI, you know, leader, you're doing very well. If you're a cryptocurrency billionaire, things are good and will remain so most likely. But the people like that kid who goes, I want to be a firefighter, that's that Trump's like, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Company executives at Walmart said the business or shoppers behavior changed when the national average price of gasoline surpassed$4 per gallon in July. An indication that American consumers were feeling more pressure than they did at the beginning of the year.

46:31Perhaps there's a psychological impact to that. John David Rainey, the CFO of Walmart said on a conference call with investors and analysts. It's so unbelievable. He's the CFO of Walmart, the chief financial officer.

46:43Tim Dillon:He's like, perhaps there's a psychological impact to the gas going up. No, John, you retard. There's an actual impact. It's not psychological. it's a genuine impact of people not having enough fucking money to get in their car and go somewhere and they're choosing to cut back. I love that. Maybe there's a psychological impact. Maybe these people feel poor. Maybe they feel poor out there. No, they're actually poor. They're being thrown out of the middle class into the poor Or maybe there's a psychological limit. They study these psychological impacts on people. They love this. They go, well, what about the psychological impact?

47:30Tim Dillon:Well, yes, when you see a certain number at the pump, it does a number on you psychologically. It's like, it does something to your actual financial standing, your fucking wallet. But this is a detached, the CFO of war is so detached that he's like, I think that number scares people. I think there's a psychological. They just got to get out of their own way, these people. They got to embrace the power of positive thinking. They're being guided by fear. That's what it is. No, they have no money. They have no money. All of these guru types, they're all full of shit for the most part. They're all telling you that you can just manifest wealth and you can manifest a cancer screening or whatever you need.

48:19and you just have to go out there and manifest it

48:23Tim Dillon:and just change your outlook. It's all about mindset. It's all about, and you get it, this is the CFO of Walmart, and this is where it all comes, the fish rots at the fucking head, and when he goes, well, there's a psychological impact to it. No, no, no, there's an actual financial impact to it, you fucking idiot. You moron, and yet somehow you are the CFO of a company. So, a big one. and all of this, it's all mindset stuff. Now, some of it might be mindset. I get it. There are some situations in life that are mindset, obviously. But saying that this, that everyone should just go out and start an AI company or use AI to create an app or invest in crypto, everyone should, that people shouldn't be teachers or firefighters or doctors.

49:17Tim Dillon:or accountants or lawyers or EMTs and all of those things are a waste of fucking time and you should be crushing Adderall on a marble countertop in Miami and blowing it up your nose. And like this, you can't run a society like this. Like all of these people that go on YouTube all the time and tell you how rich you're all going to be if you just embrace dropshipping or if, you know, if you just get your mindset right and you start the morning with a gallon of warm water. You shit your brains out. You go for a nice workout, whatever. By the way, do all of that. Do all of that. Get in shape. Work out.

49:57Tim Dillon:Sure, feel better about yourself. Don't eat the poison food. But make no mistake, the economic conditions of people's lives in the vast majority of cases cannot be improved, okay, with some crypto scam. It's not going to work. I'm sorry. I know that that deflates a lot of people. I'm not trying to be dispiriting to people out there. But you are going to need someone to put you in an ambulance if you fall down in a Walmart, by the way. Someone's going to need to show up in an ambulance and put you into it. Not everybody can be using AI to make an app no one uses or some people might use. Not everyone can do that.

50:47Tim Dillon:Some people need to actually have jobs that people understand. Some people need to be able to explain their job to someone and you get it immediately. I'm a teacher. I'm an EMT. I help you when you fall down. When grandma falls down, I show up and I put her in an ambulance. Someone's got to do those jobs. And those people have to be able to put gas in their fucking car. so there's a whole new thing where no no no you don't have to do that why would you want to do that ugh ugh gross you want to do that it's a it's a psychotic way to run a society it's it's like perverted and all of these people that are being told that their only way to a meaningful happy joyful existence is to embrace some type of scam and not master a craft or a skill and not have any fucking I'm telling you right now all of this is a complete it's leading people down a very dark path where most of them will not succeed at said scam and then they will be desperate and the fish rots from the head.

52:12You have the CFO of Walmart going, well, there's a psychological impact to people not being able. You know, there's a psychological impact to homelessness. Isn't that interesting? We find that there's a psychological impact to people that live on the street. People that there's a psychological impact to not being able to go to the doctor. Interesting. People view those circumstances negatively. They have a bad outlook. It's all about mindset. It's not all about mindset. It's not all about mindset. There are things in life that are about mindset. It's not all about mindset. Okay? All about mindset.

52:45But by the way, open water lifeguards push to be recognized as first responders. A new resolution in the House of Representatives would federally recognize open water lifeguards as first responders. Interesting. Here's where I'm at with all of this. And I've said it before. I'm foreclosing the beaches. Permanent. Like COVID. I'm for closing the beaches. I'm for closing the beaches because there's too much bacteria, there's too many sharks, there's red tide, there's blooming algae and stuff like that. People, you know what? I think it's time that we close all of the beaches in our country. And that's, this is something that I believe now.

53:31I didn't believe, I went to the beach once this summer, it was fine. You know, I think at this point now it's time to close. We should have a moratorium. Let's have a five-year moratorium. You cannot go to a beach. Shut it down. Close the beaches. We'll revisit it in five years. Let's watch a little bit of this. Lifeguards now wanting to be recognized as first responders. Whether it's police, EMT, or firefighters, all first responders share one thing in common. When everybody runs from danger, they run towards it. By the way, by the way, I'm all for diversity. But what the fuck is this woman saying?

54:11You know what I mean? I mean, I'm all for diversity. Play that again. And can anyone tell me what this woman is saying? Like, does anyone have a clue what she's saying on NBC News? Does anyone have a clue? Play this again, please. EMT or firefighters. All first responders share one thing in common. When everybody runs from danger, they run towards it. Our lifeguards. I mean, folks, we need everybody run away from danger. They run towards it. They run towards the danger. When everybody run, run, run. We need some diction. We need love diversity. Love it, love it, love it. Love it, love it, love it.

55:05But hey, we just need, we need to understand what the news anchor is saying. That's what we need to do. Not trying to be difficult here. Let's continue this. Out here on the beaches, and we are the first ones to respond to any type of water-related emergency. Yeah, but that's your job. We're not actually first responders by government designations. Now, a new push from open water lifeguards across the country. Close the beach. Close the beach. Close the beach. I mean, it's just what it is. Cut it out. Close the beach. Close the beach. I would close the beach before I give these. And, you know, I respect the lifeguards.

55:50They do what they got to do. But you know what? I was a lifeguard for years. I was a lifeguard at a pool, and I didn't save anyone. And one kid sort of drowned, but he was fine. and his mother helped them, which I think is a better system anyway. Strong families. And I used to sit there and I would, you know, you would yell, you'd abuse your power, no running on the deck. You know, you'd yell at them, you'd go, no running on the deck. And then there were the beach guards who ran every morning and were really hot and they had six packs and they would just run on the beach with their huge dicks.

56:19And, you know, it was, you know, that was their life. But the pool lifeguards were a very different group of people. It was kind of, you know, somewhat chubby, power obsessed, power hungry people. And I was one of them who kind of abused their power and were very rude and nasty and would shut the pool down. If like a kid shit in the pool, you'd be like, we're done now for an hour. We're done for 45 minutes. We got to disinfect this whole thing. And you know, members of the beach club, the cabanas would come, they'd give you a little food. You'd sit there and you'd eat food. And you know, the owner of the beach club just ran up to me and my friend once who we were working and he goes, they're saying you missed a save, both of you.

57:02And we're like, what? What? They're saying some kid was drowning and his mother had to save him. We didn't even see it, by the way. We did not even see apparently some kid drown and his mother saved him. We didn't even see it. Truly. We didn't even see it. If you're going to drown in a very quiet way, I can't help. You got to thrash. You got to yell. I'm dying. Whatever happened was subtle enough that we missed it. Some kid drowned in the pool and his mother saved him and he was coughing up water and it was all very... And then I think we walked over to him. He was in a towel and he was sitting there coughing and he looked really flushed.

57:43He probably was struggling. And he was just sitting there in the towel, kind of staring like he had had a near-death experience. He was just kind of staring. And we went over to him and we go, and the mother was really mad. She was like, and we were like, hey, how is, how are you doing? Hey, bud, how you doing? And he didn't say anything to us. He wouldn't even look at us. Cause he was like, I think he was traumatized. And then the mother was like, the mother was like, well, now you come over. And I was like, we didn't see it. We did not see it. So that was, and I was a lifeguard for three or four years.

58:17I never saved one person. I never saved one person that, you know, I never had to. they all had swim lessons. They were all pretty. And then we'd have old people swim. The old people would come in and they would just do water aerobics and stuff and you'd just sit there. So I don't believe, by the way, I don't believe lifeguards should be first responders. And this is when a lot of people are not going to like this and I'm sorry. I do not believe lifeguards are first responders. I just don't believe they are. I don't believe they are. Swimming is a voluntary activity that you choose to undertake.

58:54I think they should guard the lives and be compensated for it fairly. I do not think you are on the level of an EMT or a firefighter or who are the other first responders, by the way?

59:05Tim Dillon:Who are they? Police. Police. EMT, police, and firemen. Yeah. You know, I think firemen and police take more risks than lifeguards. EMTs also take risks. They're encountering people that may have communicable diseases, that may whatever. I mean, like, this is a real thing. lifeguards are not first responders and they have to stop and frankly I would close the beaches if I was the leader of this country the beaches need to repair themselves I'm dead serious they need to repair themselves the water is not safe it is disgusting the marine life has become increasingly violent and we need to we need to shut the beaches right now and take a moratorium on the beaches.

59:56And it should be a swim at your own rate. Here's, you know what it should be? It should be swim at your own rate. Here's what it should be.

1:00:02Tim Dillon:The job of a lifeguard should be this. You should save the people, but if you don't, that's also okay. Truly, like it should kind of be a, one of those things where it's like, hey, if, if, you know, we're happy if you save them. But if here's the other thing, if they're too far out and they're caught in a riptide, they're too far and you don't feel safe saving them, you got to just let it happen. You got to let it happen, you know? And I do, that's where I will say, I do agree with President Trump a little bit that, you know, this is a country that we desperately need to get back to really, you know, get our mojo back and people need to feel confident.

1:00:56And, you know, in order to do that, I think we need to, like, you know, chill out. A couple of people, if you're going to behave, now listen, you're young, you get thrown around. If we can grab you, you're right there on the shore. You grab him. There he is. He's right there. but if you're out there and you're doing something and you go all the way out there and you're doing something crazy, um, you know, I don't, I don't believe that, um, we can save everybody. I don't.

1:01:25Tim Dillon:And, and no one does. No one's if you go out at 6am and you go, I want to swim laps all the way out in the open ocean and the lifeguards are not even there or the lifeguards are just getting in and having a coffee and something happens to you. They can't go out there and do it. They can't do it and they shouldn't have to. and that's why they're not first responders. They shouldn't have, if your behavior endangers, you know, I'll always see, you know, if I'll be at the beach, I'll be in the water. I see people all the way out doing laps, you know, if a shark gets them or if they have a medical incident and they can't, what are we doing?

1:02:00You know what I mean? What are we doing? It's actually stupid. Andy and Anna here from your new favorite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes. How about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious. Wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go.

1:02:42If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing as a Fish. Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs.

1:03:24So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are no such thing as a fish. The midterm elections are going to be fun because I imagine that it will be the kickoff of some type of civil war, perhaps not. Polymarket says the Democratic Party, interesting, only 51 % that they will, oh, the Senate, that they will win the Senate. Yeah, it is interesting. They'll clearly take the House. Most people believe the Democrats will take the House, and then some people believe that they'll take the Senate. but it's not that well established. And by the way, congrats, by the way, our national debt just topped$40 trillion.

1:04:06Can we get a round of applause for that? The national debt is now$40 trillion. Yeah, I mean, that is, it's good because as it gets bigger and bigger, the chances of us paying it back really just completely collapse. Like no one believes any of this is getting paid back. So we need sort of a global war to reset the financial table or a fake alien invasion or something.

1:04:36Tim Dillon:Hopefully you guys are getting to work on that. Certainly seems like they are. It seems no one believes we're paying the 40 trillion back. We need a global war or a fake alien invasion and potentially both. I watched 10 Cloverfield Lane last night. You see that with John Goodman? I think that's the title of it, right? And it was really fun. It's a really fun thriller. And, you know, it's about a whatever. I won't ruin it, but watch it. It's good. It's, you know. But here's the deal. We need that. That's what needs to happen next. That's really what needs to happen next, a staged alien invasion.

1:05:19Tim Dillon:That's the only thing we can do now. And I hope they're working on it. and I'm cautiously optimistic that they are. What we need, we're not going to pay it back. It's not going to happen. We need a fake alien invasion. So that's what the CFO of Walmart was getting to when he goes, you know, there's a psychological impact to the gas being nationally$4. You know what the next conversation is? There's a psychological impact to when we stage an alien invasion. That's going to be the real psychological impact because we're not paying this money back. The economy's fake. We're not paying the money back.

1:05:57Tim Dillon:So if we're going to start talking about psychological impacts, wait till the psychological impact when we put fake alien ships in the sky and land and start killing a lot of people because that's the only way out of this. Truly, it's the only way out of this. It's not a lovely thing to discuss as many people start school and the summer winds down. It's kind of but we that is what needs to happen that is just divorcing myself from it not viewing it through a moral lens not take taking myself out of it as i'm an analyst yes it would be good to give people health care or better standard of living quality of life Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:06:49Tim Dillon:Listen, what we need right now more than anything, more than lifeguards being designated first fucking responders. I mean, are they high? Are they crazy? What we need is a staged alien invasion. That is the time that our economy has gotten to that point. We're losing a war with Iran and we're 40 trillion in the hole. we're five to ten years away from many many jobs not existing if any of these people are telling the truth they may not be but it's taking jobs already so i imagine that those jobs are going to continue to evaporate we need without argument a completely staged invasion of our planet by aliens it is the only thing that can put us on the right course economically, it'll reset the table in a meaningful way.

1:07:49Tim Dillon:It's not what you want to hear. I understand that. You're driving in your car, you're jogging, you go, I don't like this. This sounds like it's going to be a real problem. Yeah, it is. Hey, buddy, it is. There's going to be mass chaos, mass death. Sorry. Sorry. I want to be the bearer of bad news, but there's no way out unless we put fake ships in the sky and really you know some of those weapons that we used in venezuela those emp electromagnetic where all the soldiers start throwing up we're gonna start we're gonna need to use them in american cities and towns and claim it's aliens it's i'm telling you right now i know it's dark and i know that i'm not saying that i'm for this i'm saying that it's it needs to happen sadly that's just what needs to i people are like well that well that's not good yeah yeah yeah okay all right sure sure okay yeah i'd hey i'd agree with you there pal hey pal i'm with you but what needs to happen just it's just reality and someone's explaining this somewhere in a room Don't think they're not.

1:09:10Tim Dillon:They go, you know, we just need to start using those weapons on the public, claiming it's aliens, and, you know, getting people in line again. You got to get people in line again. That's all. So that's coming, I believe. I do believe something like that is coming. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I do believe that's coming. And, you know, again, is it ideal? No, it's not ideal. It's not the ideal situation, right? but it is I think really right now the only way because if you look at the trends right so we have the AI thing happening we can't win wars anymore um we're in a mad dash for resources that's what a lot of these wars are about they're strategic money grabs resource grabs and the president's pretty honest about that he's like we need to suck up the oil we need to suck up this we need to suck And the way you used to control people isn't working as well because of the internet.

1:10:10People are kind of restless out there. It's very difficult to establish a narrative that people all buy into.

1:10:20Tim Dillon:You know, so really the options are not plentiful. There's only a few. there's only a few options right now to continue to run this planet and unfortunately sadly and I there's no joy in me telling you this I think that they're gonna have to stage an alien invasion they're gonna have to use a lot of weapons we've never seen or experienced before. We're going to have to destroy a few American cities. You know? We're going to have to lock people in their houses while the alien warfare is going on. Think about this. Think about this. By the way, I know that there's CFOs and CEOs of big companies that listen to this show.

1:11:17They are all in agreement with me. They're all in agreement with me, by the way. And it is not nice. It is not nice. but you're going to have to be locked in your house while fake aliens rampage through the streets. There's nothing. I can't lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you people. I'm not going to lie to you people. I'm not going to lie to you people. It would be nice if you got healthcare and retirement and we stopped polluting the rivers. Grow up. You're going to have to be locked in your house while fake aliens rampage through the streets. We're going to have to use electromagnetic pulse weapons and sound waves and crazy shit.

1:11:54We're going to have to knock out the internet. I don't enjoy telling you all this. We're going to have to knock out the internet. You're going to have to be locked in your house while we kill lots of people and stage a fake alien invasion. And at that point, things will come back and we'll go, there's actually no more debt. We're actually not doing the national debt. We're not doing it. No, it's true. We're going to come right back on TV. We're not actually going to do the debt. We owe the$40 trillion we owe. It seems stupid to even think about it now. We've just repelled an alien invasion. That's what's going to have to...

1:12:31Tim Dillon:We're going to have to use a few real aliens that don't even want to do it. Here's how bad it's going to get. We're going to have to use real aliens who are not even involved. They don't even want to do it. They're not even doing it. We're going to have to use a few real aliens and like... Because there's probably an alien... He's in Area 51 or whatever. He's like on the, you know, that goes like five, seven stories, 10 stories down. He's in, you know, he's sitting there and they go up to him and they go, listen, we're, we're, Hey, Hey, we're at$40 trillion worth of debt. And the alien's going to go, why can't you win the Iran war?

1:13:07I go, Hey, Hey, Hey, let's not even, what are we doing?

1:13:10Tim Dillon:Like we need, we need, you know, the plan. And the alien knows the plan. He goes, here's the plan. We're going to stage a fake thing and say, you did it. and the aliens are going to go, ugh. They go, we got to use photos of you. We got to, so the ant, we're going to use a real alien that we probably have. We're going to put him in front of a green screen and he, and he's going to, I don't even want to do, and he's going to read a script and he's going to be like, we are going, and his heart's not going to be in it. He's going to be like, we are going to destroy, here to destroy you. You are a colony of ants and like the alien's going to stop in the middle and he's going to look at like all the DARPA people and all the like, you know, Burn off your fingerprints.

1:13:50Tim Dillon:Men in black, fucking don't exist. Delete your social security number. In the bowels of the government. He's going to look at all of them and go, we wouldn't even say it. He's like, I wouldn't even say it like this. And then somebody's going to go, no one even knows what you would say. And he goes, it just sounds weird. You're a colony of ants. He's like, it's hack. I don't even want to say it. And they go, you said you would help us with this when the time came. The time is now. So we will have a fake alien in front of a green screen threatening our country and he won't want to do it. She, whatever.

1:14:22Tim Dillon:That alien will go, I don't even feel good about saying this. And then they'll have to tell him, they'll have to go, all right, so we have one take of you doing it that we think is usable. We want to run it again. And we want you to just say, we are colonizing you like ants. And then we're going to have to show you, like, pretend to be dead. And we're going to go, we got their leader. And he's like, fine. It's going to be a product because we're not paying that money back. We're not paying that money back. We're just not paying the money back. It's what it is. And we're not paying the money back.

1:14:59And then just imagine the press conference. And here's the thing. We can do this all in like a week.

1:15:06Tim Dillon:We can shut everything down, kill a bunch of people, start putting out the fake alien content, and within 10 to 15 days, probably be back. probably be back online quick a few things got to go we got to give a couple of see that's maybe what la is for we may wonder now what la is for la might just be being hollowed out to be destroyed so we don't have to pay the money back for the national debt that might be why la like if if in two to three years you see like fake aliens running around la you're gonna go oh that's why they let it collapse because it was a decision that like we got to destroy an American city we can't destroy New York it's too valuable but LA like whatever who cares we're gonna we're gonna hollow out LA so that we can stage a fake alien invasion in LA and it's kind of a great city to do it it has all the production here still I mean nobody's shooting movies or TV here anymore but by the way if you wanted to stage an alien invasion and have it be cinematic It's L.A.

1:16:13Tim Dillon:It might bring L.A. back. That's the other thing. That might, this might bring L.A. back. People might go, there's discussions right now going, this could turn things. If we invade L.A. with fake aliens and then L.A. repels them and California becomes the city that repel the aliens, and I mean, just photos of people holding their baby with the finger in the alien's face like, no, you alien. I'm telling you, this is what's going to happen. We're not paying the$40 trillion back. No one's paying that back. Grow up. No one's paying it back. We're staging a fake alien invasion to save ourselves. And we're going to have to kill some people in LA.

1:17:00Tim Dillon:It's a huge population. It's a huge population. A couple of people are going to have to die. We're going to use those weapons. We lock everyone in their houses. It'll be a little chaos. We'll have martial law. I'm thinking if this whole thing's done well, it's 13, 14 days. And then the president emerges and he's a new, he's like, we've realized that we can't have these nations. We're a global council. We've realized the importance of like using and marshalling all of our resources together. And we're not alone in the universe. We repelled one group of aliens, but by the way, then they're going to go like this.

1:17:37There's other groups. and we're going to have to really think about the other groups of aliens that are going to potentially do what these aliens, like we beat these guys, but maybe we won't beat the next aliens. So, you know, and then somebody will be like, hey, what about the national debt? And we go, oh, that's, well, I mean, national debt, there's no nation.

1:18:00Tim Dillon:What are you talking about? We're America, I guess, but like we're people. We're all just people fighting the aliens. so like we're all it's all good it's all good and that and that is why it's very silly to make lifeguards first responders because do you know how silly you're gonna feel making a lifeguard a first after we've beaten aliens after we've repelled an alien race and we've shut down the internet and we've shut down all mass media and we've shut it all down and we hit everybody with EMP weapons and we put them in their houses and we purposely destroy Los Angeles and then we build it back and it becomes a great American story and we wash away our debt and we unite as people all over the world.

1:18:50It's I'm sorry, folks. I'm sorry. I know you like Mom Donnie. Seems sweet. But I'm telling you what's needed here and the people in power are listening and that's what it is. And that's why you have a J.D. Vance because J.D. Vance immediately cosigns this. J.D. Vance signs off on this

1:19:13Tim Dillon:halfway through the pitch. Halfway through this pitch, Vance signs. He goes, fuck them. They panned my movie. I wrote Hillbilly Elegy. They panned it because it was about poor white people. And they go, hey, so we got to destroy LA in a fake alien invasion? He goes, done. Done and done. Good night. Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing As A Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions.

1:19:56Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing as a Fish.

1:20:17Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are no such thing as a fish.