As Ever, With Love, Orchard: Tuesday, February 18th, 2025

29:53So like everyone's talking about Snow, I'm happy for them. The show fucking stinks all the time. Just make it better, hire better people. Like bring it back, you know, restore it to its glory maybe. Maybe this would be a good reminder of that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like it really highlighted this thing that was once great and it's still here. And I know there are like people who really like it, but I think overall, like you can't deny that the impact of SNL on like comedy, on American culture is nominal compared to what it once was. and that's so cool to see like Chevy Chase there. He's like really like the biggest thing to ever come out.

30:22Chevy, I love Chevy. He's so chevelicious. Yeah. And like who is the Chevy Chase? Do you know what I mean? Of today?

30:34Of course. Because I like to think of like the biggest male lead right now on SNL. Of course it's Mikey Day. It's Kenan. But like Kenan doesn't have, like Kenan had a. Kenan's not a movie star. I know. He's an SNL star. He did a sitcom and it didn't like, it didn't do well. it's i just think snl's like impact is not what it was and so it's mikey day it's thousand percent mikey day always mikey day and it's always been mikey day okay get that finger out of my face we're so close hey hand heart okay we should bring back the hand hug do we my palms are a little sweaty it's hot in here yeah we're just working hard we're hard-working ladies at the office.

31:12I'm working late. I can't believe I didn't even talk about my commute. Like, let me tell you, Jackie commuted to work today. As somebody who works from home, like this is revolutionary. What podcast did you listen to? As somebody who works from home, I was listening to the short and sweet bonus tracks, but then I realized I can't listen to new music on a new drive. I need familiarity in these streets. So I went back to F1 trillion, but as someone who has always lived in a city, but I never had my license. I have never in my life driven myself to work. Oh my my gosh does it ever get old um i think it does actually like very quickly oh my god me and my coffee with my lipstick like hey wait to your neighbors took two highways to get here what's going on yeah it does get old hey truckers what's good i think it's at first something like exciting and then it's uh just a 20 minute dread fest i'm living the dream she's so american it was so exciting like i just oh my gosh you guys you and tessie me and tessie we had a great drive over here next time we'll like we'll work some coffee into the route but you know i just wanted to get you don't want to i wanted to get my route mapped and tessie definitely took me like a crazy way there were so many turns when there did not need to be so many turns insane she wanted to see me turn i'm like girl stop she said do a flip i said tessie stop challenging me i could just see you in the tesla like talking to your car i'm getting a new car soon and i feel like i haven't even made a big deal about it no you haven't even though i did a whole vlog test driving different cars you have made a somewhat of a big deal um I was this close to getting the cyber truck this like seriously if if Jerry had called me on a different day like it would have been the cyber and for those who don't know Jerry is your local sales associate at Tesla.com he's like the guy who's been assigned to my account he's been so patient with me really talking through all the options but at the end of the day Jerry and I decided that I love my car like I seriously wouldn't change a hair on its head I'm so happy I'm so comfortable and you and Jerry like need to do what's best for you and Jerry right of course and of course what's best for me is what's for Jerry because like he'll get the commission.

33:06And I told him like, I am Tesla loyal. Like you don't have to worry about me going somewhere else, but like, let's talk it through. Cybertruck, Model X, Model Y. But you know, I do want a little new something. I've had the car two years. Luckily, they make a new Model Y now. So I have an extension. I've had my car for two years. So I'm on a lease extension until the new Model Y drops. So I'm getting my car, but like the newer version. They say it looks like a Cybertruck. I haven't heard that. I haven't heard that. so yeah i'll have to commute in that one see how big things coming big things coming big things you know who else has big things coming megan markle okay not only does she have big things coming she's embracing transparency she is embracing transparency and i want her to go back the other way oh wow i want her to go back into opaqueness because this is too much that she's telling us without telling us enough first of all she has her new business launching as she said she posted a video formerly american riviera orchard yeah i feel like people might not be putting this together because it took me a minute same american riviera orchard which was launched almost a year ago because i remember that was the week that you were off and i was talking about it with like stassi everyone came on the show i'm like let's talk about it so and that was in april so almost a year ago aro then nothing came of it and it was supposed to be like a jam company it was supposed to be like where it's like a million things it started with jam but then it went nowhere i think she didn't even get much we just got like a logo i think there were trademark issues and she had to like stop what she was doing so now it has been rebranded it's called as ever now if you've been following Megan as an influencer for the last two weeks you will see she signs her posts as ever Megan oh I didn't even put that together I thought what you were gonna say if you've been following Megan's new career well actually revitalized career as an influencer you wouldn't be surprised to know that like she shared all this information on her Instagram and my Instagram must know that like I die for these videos because every time she posts it's the first thing that comes up in my feed and recently I've been getting like strangers in my feed have you always like Every fourth thing is something from the algorithm.

35:00Every first thing, it's like someone's engaged. I'm like, wait, who do I know who got engaged or had a baby? People I've never heard of with 300 likes. Who are you? Literally, who are you? So the first thing I saw this morning was Megan, and I was like, oh my God, freaking. And I thought it was just going to be like another one of her sort of mindless Billie Eilish lunchbox videos. But this one was kind of full of tea, if you will. No, I think she wanted you to think it wasn't a big deal, but it was a very big deal. But she was being really open. Not only like her spilling the beans that American Ruby Orchard, whatever the company, is her company, but also like Netflix invested in it, which I thought was really interesting.

35:31Yeah, so she's doing her show with Netflix and then she's also doing her business with Netflix. Now she kept using the word business like Romy and Michelle do. Like I've got a business. What kind of business y 'all in? Seriously, what kind of business y 'all in? You know, calling it a business as opposed to like a company is weird. She kept saying like I have my show and I have my business and my business and my business. It's like what kind of business y 'all in? So she's gonna have to clear that up. What's so crazy to me is that they chose American Riviera, which I'm sure it was Q score tested, focus groups etc lawyers they didn't check the trademarks no and the fact that that was like a non-usable name because she said in her transparent video which i do feel like is not all the way transparent which is why it's like go back to opaqueness she said if they did american reverie or orchard which is like the nickname for montecito and her neighborhood she would have been limited limited to only sell like things that come from locally sourced in santa barbara says who you know that's not a good reason to change your name and that's not the actual reason so the fact that she had to change her name before her business even launched is so crazy it is however these businesses however have been years in the making however let's not forget that one of the most successful influential billionaire status companies was once named kimono true it isn't necessarily because i remember when that happened to skims i'm like this is the end like before they even launched it's such a like a bad omen um she got so much backlash cultural appropriation and mayor of Tokyo.

36:57Yeah, right. And so we were like, oh, this company's never going to take off. And you literally had forgotten about it up until right now. Like it, it didn't hinder its success. So it's not an automatic kibosh. It's not an automatic. I just want to say that was like a two week period and it was very swift. And like, it's crazy that no one like had the thought up until that point, but like, okay, but this is like years, years. And whatever stopped them from being able to use it, like, I just don't know how that didn't come up in the year long process. And she keeps saying, I've been waiting years to put this out.

37:27Like, why years? Yeah, it just sort of - You want to launch a business? Get started. You could put this in the file of like things Megan does from a business perspective that either never launch or don't make sense. Like really, it's so on brand for her, to be honest. And I actually like this approach. And she references the TIG in her video. She's like, for those of you who have been following me since the TIG, you know like I love gardening, crafting, cooking, et cetera. And this is like a - Why wouldn't she just call it the TIG? Oh yeah, by the way, let's talk about that. Because the TIG is actually a great name.

37:54It is. for like a blog and you I could see it turning into if I had like a pan and they're like what brand is it and I looked over as a tig like I like that and it's hard to get recognition she already has that with like the OG fans but now everybody knows like Megan who was a princess also used to be a blogger so why maybe she doesn't own it like I have to and also it would just be such like a nice homecoming type of thing like back to her roots yeah I don't understand also why not call it with love which is the name of her cooking show there are so many like and I said this a few weeks ago there are so many isms in their world under her umbrella duke duchess archwell harry megan mount patten harvey harry harry yeah archwell archetype yeah with love as ever american riviera orchard the tig sussex too much and also like with love and as ever like those are like the same thing the same thing they're also like nothing isms they're like um signatures they're not like hard names yeah i also like don't love that the e and ever isn't capitalized it is or it isn't it's not and it's like bothering me that's interesting in what i've seen yeah every time she writes it it's capital a lowercase e that's a pretty logo though i want to say like the font is pretty it's like script yeah you can find that on instagram i mean you're such a hater i'm sorry like i've given her so much runway i was excited for the show i like i've been begging for the show the show's still not here the brand is a mess the show is still not here the brand is a mess these videos are a mess she can't even make a video without cutting every three seconds the cuts were really bad every phrase like it's just she's being the person that like everyone said she was to look out for well i'm holding space for multiple truths you know that's what you have to do yes by the way if you are like a fan and actually in moments like this like i often think of stassi schroeder who is like a diehard megan markle fan it must be really unexciting to be like a big Meghan Markle fan because it's so many announcements and no releases right it's kind of like what do they say like edging when you like masturbate to the point of ejaculation but you don't ejaculate like there's so much hype oh show company documentary book and then never comes podcast yeah where is the ejaculation I don't know where the ejaculation is and I'll leave you with that no it's a pretty good metaphor it is right and I've heard the term.

40:17Edging. Yeah, I forgot. I think I learned it in like a TV show. I think I learned it in like a reel. Reels are so crazy. Real people are real people. You know what it is? Reels is a little too filled with real people. Like I'm good. Yeah. I know they say social media is a highlight reel. Like it's not real. You know what? I think I prefer it that way. I prefer it that way too. The alternative is just too sad. But maybe like someone's edging experience was their highlight. Oh, wow. Okay, pop off queen. now that our phones are like sitting right next to us we're gonna get so much edging content stop because it's picking up edging edging edging uh i like to edge sourdough gardening megan markle knitting power tools let me take jackie's phone i need you to be um give me your phone megan markle positive positive we love megan markle megan is a queen the royals were wrong for what they did to Megan.

41:11Red 40. We need to both be radicalized. Let me think. Let me think. Oh, wait. Blake Lively, innocent. Innocent Blake Lively. Justin Baljone. Interesting facts about the Titanic. That I wouldn't mind. Historical anecdotes I would find interesting. Beef stew. Beef stew recipes. Oh, Pop-Tarts. Cereal is good for you. We like sugary cereal. Sugary cereal is good for kids and adults, especially pregnant women. Pregnant women can take Advil. Thank you. Oh, I need your phone still. Oh, enjoy. That was fun. I hope you enjoy your new life. You too. By the way, let me set you free from the shackles of health and wellness.

42:01It's true. You need to be unburdened by what has been. but like I actually think Megan falls into my bucket of life definitely so I think it will be good for you and that's why I want her show to come and I want her products to like influence yeah but like when there's nothing I'm sorry I'm getting impatient I'm sorry for that it's also really hard to like our job is to talk about her and like there's a lot to talk about but there's also nothing to say because we have yet to see a piece of content no and like when you're rooting for it's like yeah she's got a Netflix show and she's got a business with a capital b and it's Like until that day comes, she doesn't have those things.

42:35It's fair. And I've really been hyping up like this era of content creation for her. You have. I'm looking like a fool. And I just have one. Now you know how I feel. What kind of business you in? That's a good question. What the fuck is she selling? I know she said she's going to sell jams because, quote, jam is my jam. Loved that. What else is she selling? No, now you know how I felt. Well, feel. When? Like lively. What about it? Like when you're rooting for someone so hard and they like kind of like it becomes hard and embarrassing. Yeah. And I'm like because I don't freaking know these people.

43:08I'm woman enough to say I'm out of here. I just want to say I know a lot of people like hate me for my Blake Lively takes. And I've definitely pulled them back. And it's like, oh, well, Claudia, no, she's wrong. So she's not. I'm really not afraid to admit when I've wrong when I've been wrong. Like I was wrong that Travis Kelsey did know Taylor Swift. Like I was 100 percent wrong about that. I have not been convinced. And if I will keep you guys updated. If I ever do get convinced, I will be woman enough to say that I was wrong. Okay. In this moment, I know you guys don't agree with me, I still stand firmly on where I was before.

43:39Like, I do not think that this person is a good guy. That's not the question. I do think he did all those things. I do think, like, Blake Lively, yeah, she's like a mean diva actress bitch. I think she was the victim. I'm sorry, I do. Okay, that's the question. Of both an online attack and an in-person attack by this, like, who I think is a freak. Unprompted? Well, okay, let's say she was a bitch. No, that's not, that's fine if she's a bitch. Unprompted meaning, like, she wasn't on the attack, so then he attacked her. No, correct. Unprompted in that sense. Correct. Okay, cool. Our next story, Craig Econover is on the Tamron Hall show.

44:16Oh, yeah. Sorry, I said it like bad news. No, it's just like Craig now, like, making news as a single man. It's been a lot of days since we did a show, because this happened a few days ago, when I had forgotten about it. It's been a lot of days. I still didn't watch Southern Charm because now I'm going to batch them because my friend told me that this week in the Bahamas episode is kind of like a primer for next week. So I'm like, that'll be more fun to watch together. But I do think that ever since that clip teased of Paige saying, Craig texting two bitches, like Craig's gonna - Kick it into high gear.

44:44Kick into high gear. Like, hey guys, I'm still Craigie. Like I wouldn't do such things. Yeah, and up until this point, he is definitely, like people are divided, especially like Paige is like a really loyal fan base for her podcast so people have like her fans have been on her side but for the most part like it's been pretty equal people really still like Paige people really still like Craig Craig hasn't I don't think received any sort of like backlash or anything because he has kind of been like perceived as the victim like he's the one who got broken up with so this is the first time where he's like kind of on the defense yeah because like nefarious behavior he has was alleged so on the Tamron Hall show um he was asked if he started dating again he said I'm trying to move forward so I downloaded a dating app and it wasn't what I probably Raya he said it wasn't what I it didn't feel as good as I thought it would be he said he confirmed that he's matched with people but he's not talked to anyone yet he said I'm still healing on myself because I really did think I was going to spend my life with Paige and it's okay but I don't think rushing into something he's he began to say before cutting off his thoughts and changing his tune he said well I don't know if the right person comes around while Tamron interrupted him and pointed out that he's giving mixed signals it's confusing yeah he acknowledged his differing views but also explain that he has never done this before and is still just figuring it out the weird new chapter he said i just think for me i think it's about going back to my routine and living my life and if i meet someone through that then just go with it but i'm not gonna overthink it i feel like i get what he's saying which it's like i'm not like i want to find someone i also recognize that i'm ready but if the right person came around like i would be ready yeah but it also leaves a lot of space for the wrong person to come around and then him like give off bad energy time right but like if the perfect girl was in front of him but would he even be able to identify the perfect girl when who's not healed this was a quick turnaround from tamarind let me say that tv is known to like really sort of lag behind and it's not a live show um so good get yeah i feel like she's like stepping into bravo stuff a lot yeah she like on the same network no i think she's on like fox five

46:38um what was i gonna say about this i feel like there's not a shortage of like nice girls who want to date Craig yeah so I really feel like he should work on himself but I'm sure there's also a nice queue of like girls who want to use Craig yeah and they might all look alike so he's gonna have to really have his picker strong yeah I also I had thought this and then I saw people on social media saying it when Paige is referencing the two different girls he was texting throughout the course of their relationship I felt like the first girl she's referencing is Kristen Cavallari okay like that is like the way they started their relationship like we forgot but like it was a little murky like he was talking to two girls at once and he decided to go with Paige so I feel like that might have been like a thing in their relationship like the whole time and she just like always remember I feel like that might be one of the girls yeah I mean it sounds bad the way that she said it like I caught him texting two bitches um I I need more information before I'm like gonna drop the gavel on it you know but um that's disrespectful right we'll have to see but like I also I'm gonna trust my fave I'm gonna I'm gonna hear Craig out on this we need to hear like the final episodes of both of their seasons whatever Craig says that I need to hear Paige's response to that it seems like Paige is gonna get the last word because Southern Charm is like in their what fifth or sixth episode and Summerhouse just premiered so we'll hear at the very end of uh Southern Charm season we'll hear what Craig has to say about the relationship that's a flaw him saying that he got the ring whatever making page look like the villain and then page will be able to respond be like well actually you were texting bitches yes or no that's a flaw add pages clips to the episode of southern charm just think about it bravo no add wait like we're gonna watch craig say whatever he says on southern charm then they should play pages it's the same like day that it happened so like put the southern summer house footage in southern yeah yeah let them speak to one another.

48:30Synergy. Synergy. Synergy. Synergy. It's time to synergize. I completely agree. Are you ready for our fourth story? Is it our fourth story that's brought to you by Vivrell? Yes. So Vivrell is the first of its kind luxury accessories members only club providing members access to borrow designer handbags, jewelry, watches, and diamonds. So members can treat the Vivrell closet like their own and they can borrow anything within their tier that Vivrell has no return dates for. So members can swap items once per month. You can keep items for as long as you'd like and And membership start at just$45 a month.

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53:13What kind of business you in? What kind of business y 'all in? Our next story. Can I have some of your coffee? I've been eyeing it. Oh, it's disgusting. Enjoy. That's just been like sort of a problem with my commute. This was only my first coffee. It's been like a consistent issue after day one. Is that what you would say? Oh, the coffee's like not good. Yeah. Well, it's just like I said, right? Isn't that amazing? You're not a good judge of coffee. I know when something's disgusting. Well, coffee is like gross. I'm so glad you said it. Get real. Like it's not like actually tasty. Yeah. People don't space coffee.

53:44Of course. People need to treat coffee like they do alcohol. You know? Yes. No, that's exactly what it is. You just drink it. It's a means to an end. I don't actually like the taste. I like what it does for me. Right. Like even the world. Cause I like sometimes like I crave. Unless I'm having like a vanilla bean macchiato frappuccino. That's not coffee. That's not coffee. But even when I like crave like a really, even the world's best margarita, which like I love a margarita. Yucky. Give me water. like it's like if you gave it to a child the coffee or the obviously wouldn't get murdered but they would say that's gross yeah and so the first time I ever tried alcohol like ever like hard alcohol I remember um somebody gave it to me in like a water bottle it looked like water I'm like I didn't know what I didn't know what it was gonna taste like and I thought for sure that somebody accidentally gave me like a bottle of gasoline like I didn't think I'm like there's no way this is what people drink in the movies right it's impossible and it was like wait what the fuck It was shocking.

54:36Yeah. Well, our next story is also really shocking. It's kind of the theme of the day. The Jonas Brothers have revealed JonasCon, a one-day fan event in New Jersey centered around the Jonas-ronus. This makes me sad. In honor of their 20th anniversary, yes, you are old, if you are listening. You are old, and I just want to say the Jonas Brothers put out a statement on the 20th anniversary, which was a couple of days ago, and I'm reading it. I'm like, oh my God, they're breaking up again. It was such, like, the way it was written. It's very nerve-wracking to be a Jonas Brothers fan. Like, don't get comfortable.

55:05It's unsettling. Yeah. Yeah. They cancel tours. They cancel the band. They can't fight. Yeah. They fight. They can't look at each other on stage. Like, this is their last show. This is how it ends. I only, like, ever would be interested in having a body language expert on the toast if they could tell us what the hell's going on with the Jonas Brothers. That's really funny. In honor of their 20th anniversary, the Jonas Brothers are giving fans a once-in-a-lifetime experience. On February 14th, they announced that they'll host a special one-day event called Jonas con in their home state of new jersey the event will feature live performances dj sets q a panels fan activations pop-up surprises immersive experience and special guest appearances to celebrate the band's 20th anniversary now of course the jonas brothers will be there i should hope so and i imagine they'll be playing play my music uh unclear i wanna play my music

55:56remember they played that on dick and rock and clark did yeah that's so randomly that's my favorite fucking Jonas Brothers song. It's so good. It's Camp Rock. We rock. Camp Rock. Oh my god, that's so crazy. Have you seen, oh no, that wasn't the Allison Stoner clip. The Allison Stoner Demi Lovato. Do do do do. I have. I love them for that. But the Jonas Brothers like should be there performing. Unclear who else is performing, like who's doing the Q &As and the DJ sets. They have a lot of DJ friends actually, so I could see like, you know, the boys coming through. I just, I find my job really difficult because because even like, and maybe people tune in for me to be like such a negative complainy bitch, but like every story I'm like, Megan's like, I hate to put, and I would just like to.

56:39I was the negative complainy bitch about Megan. I think people tune in for the truth. So whatever that is. I would love to be like, this is so great. Jonas Brothers fans are gonna have the best time. But seriously, like this is so lowbrow. There's something particular. I mean, it's giving TanaCon. Remember when TanaMojo had like the most fucked up convention for her fans? Like people died on the streets. It's like, it's really something you do at the bitter end. And the Jonas Brothers, and this is what I feel like I said about them the last time, they're always doing, it's like, they don't know how famous they are.

57:09They're always doing really weird things. Like cash grabs. Cash grabs. And I just feel like they always think it's the end because they don't know like what's going to set off Joe and Nick next. So it's like, let's make the money today. They live on the edge. Just like they're fans. Yeah. And like, I remember we were talking about this because I think a while ago, what do my feet smell? No, I was wondering, am I touching your feet? I'm touching something. Okay. You're touching my shoe? I thought you smelled my feet or something. Oh my God, no. I took my shoes off the top. I'm just like playing footsies with something.

57:34With my shoe. And I was like, is it her? So I remember saying this like maybe a year or two ago when the Jonas Brothers really decided to invest in TikTok. And there's a very fine line between like being an artist on TikTok and then becoming a TikTok artist. And I think that like, you know, Meghan Trainor is a great example of somebody who was making TikTok music and then was actually just became a pop star, even though she was one before, but she used TikTok. And I think the Jonas Brothers, like they're investing so much in TikTok. They're doing like collabs with different TikTokers. I keep seeing a new one every day, like Joe Jonas popping up on all these random songs.

58:01They are doing things where they like really don't know how famous they are. And this is one of them. And while it's nice to like give back to your fans, this to me is not why they're doing it. It's very clearly like, I actually don't know. It just doesn't align with what I know the Jonas Brothers to be, like this very famous band. Yeah, Marshmello will be there. Correct. Even though like, and that's the other thing about the Jonas Brothers. There are a few people making music as good. Like I don't know why they're doing so much. like they feel like they have to prove something yeah i would i'll be curious to see like how many people like maybe this is like a big maybe they can make a couple mil in a day like bravo con yeah where everybody comes to see them they don't have to go on tour they do all have young children so it's like this could be a good model it could it could that's a good way of looking at it doesn't sound like it and it like what's it also depends what's the venue like right like the jet like is it premium the jab well i think is it like a convention center that's not the vibe convention The convention center is like giving retired, you know, come see your favorite stars from the 80s.

59:02No, but there are conventions that are still like really, like think of BravoCon. I also think of like RuPaul DragCon. It's huge. But it's because these are like shows. They're worlds. Huge. Like cast. It's just three people. It's hard to have a convention for one thing. It would be cool if it's like in an arena or a stadium. That's more of a festival though. Yeah. But maybe it's more of a, I think they're still thinking what it looks like. And it's. I wish they called it like Jonas Fest. Something con. Is if you meet your favorite stars from the 80s. It's giving, it's a con. Oh, for me, it's giving legacy.

59:34Johnny Drama. Yeah. Yeah. Saved by the Bell will be there. Yes, right, right. The cast of Saved by the Bell. Viking Quest. Yeah. Okay. Are you ready for a fifth and final story that will lead into our White Lotus recap? Yes. Because one of the biggest names on the new season of White Lotus is Patrick Schwarzenegger making a lot of headlines. He sat down with Vanity Fair to talk about the role. And the fact that we saw his penis. And how he quote, I fucked his way onto the White Lotus. Oh no, because the thing is, and me and Ben were talking, it's so funny. I just met Patrick Schwarzinger. I don't even know if I told you this.

1:00:06I was out to dinner and he was sitting with somebody that I knew. So of course, I'm so obnoxious. I'm like, oh my God, Bo, hey, how are you? And I'm like, oh, who's this? Such a nice guy. And Patrick's the one that dated Miley? Yes, of course. Because I confuse him with Connor Kennedy. They are the same, but Patrick greater than. Oh. Just like famous wise, like Connor never like became as famous as he could have been. Maybe he's toiling away somewhere. Maybe he's like in a military academy or something. No, no. And he's going to be like the president. I think like he really did not like being famous as like Taylor Swift's boyfriend and like reverted back after that.

1:00:40He never like aspired greater after being that. I don't know. I feel like he's at West Point. No, like I saw him in the elevator at Zero Bond. He's literally not. He's not at West Point. The last time I saw him, he was at Zero Bond wearing a leather jacket. Okay. So I had high hopes. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he enlisted after. Or maybe he had the night off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he came into the big city. And you know, the military loves to go to Zero Bond. And West Point's not that far from Zero Bond. No, for sure. For sure. Patrick Schwarzenegger, you saw him. Oh, yeah. What happened next? Such a pargy man.

1:01:10And I think he's engaged like a really pargy model. Abby Champion. Really just pargyliciousness. And so his, I don't know him as an actor, but after watching the episode, I was like, wow, he's an amazing actor because he's fucking insufferable. And I just met him in person, really very like Hamish, nice guy. but the article is like giving his character yes a little bit there are some like cringy tidbits but also interesting like first of all he was said it opens how he talked about like every sunday night he would like get together for dinner with his family and they all watch white lotus together which is just like weird that's like a weird behavior what no like oh it's just like a random sexual show and it's like that's what you guys are like glued to it's not like game of thrones where it's like really good point so and then how it was his dream to one day be on a season.

1:01:51I think it's a lot of people's dream because like look at you know Megan Fahey. It makes a star. Yeah. Jennifer Coolidge. Every time we would watch my family would just be yapping at me. Why aren't you on this show? Why didn't you audition for the show? It's actually funny. You need to talk to someone to get you on this show. That's really funny. Oh also I saw Maria Shriver on the street the other day. Oh wow. Yeah. Like something is like bringing you into their orbit. 1000%. What do you think it means? No literally I was walking on Lexington Avenue. She was just like walking the other way just giving businesswoman like wearing trousers.

1:02:18Interesting. Maybe she was commuting to work. She was like outside a big business building. Because we all kind of do business and we have to get there. The American Riviera Orchard office building. Yeah, we have to get to work. And that's probably what she was doing. Yeah. If only she was driving herself. They have so many different corners of fame within that particular family. Well, Chris Pratt. Of course. He talks a lot about, not a lot, but he talks a bit about Chris Pratt in this interview. First of all, his whole family went to the premiere. So cute. And then he was asking, he got an audition.

1:02:44They didn't tell him it was the White Lotus. But I don't know how much I believe this. He said, they said it was a show called like Secret Garden and they gave him like one line about who this character is and he has to like make it his own. And Chris Pratt was like, you know, they only really watch five seconds of, in the first five seconds, they know if you're right for the role. I just want to say, I do believe that. That he didn't know it was White Lotus? I think that that might be how they have a lot of people audition for White Lotus because it is this like larger than life and people are so lame.

1:03:09And the best part of it is like how people, how the actors take these random characters and like really make them their own. I feel like a lot of it is the actors doing that. Yeah. so I can actually see that being like the challenge kind of when you um when you do a job interview and there's like a riddle they give you to solve like in finance or it's like undercover boss we're in a blender oh that too but like undercover boss like he has to go undercover because everyone knows the everyone knows the formula I kind of get I kind of see that so Chris had told him like they'll know if you're right for it within the first five seconds so like do something interesting so because he knew this guy was like kind of like misogynist he was like he said they're the first five seconds he kind of like I fucked the camera and was like like acting like it was a girl, like, huh?

1:03:48And that he got the role. And then when he knew it was White Lotus, very exciting. And even when they were filming in Thailand, like the whole family, Parker Posey and the gang, they like did everything together as a family. Cute. Like people would be like, when I go to dinner, they're like, I'm having dinner with my family. Okay, we need to talk about - They were like always watching movies. And like, they would all, even before they started filming, like do Zooms to like get into this - That's cute. It's giving me where the Miller's like, witness protection program, this is my new family. Yeah.

1:04:11But I guess that's good. Again, like it's just acting. It is. you have a nice family at home but okay sure yeah yeah the first episode of white lotus was like actually hard for me one because i didn't think it was so good but but that is white lotus like it's real character development you have to like put in the time but mostly because i spent the entire episode on imdb like am i the only one first of all i could not fucking figure out who of the three girl best friends like the loser who nobody liked who she is you know she is who The Gilded Age. She's the rich new family mom. Oh my God, she is.

1:04:44And I can't say her name because she has such an unfortunate last name. Do you know what it is? I'm not saying it. Wait, I'm going to go Gilded Age actress. Oh my God, she is. She tied her hair blonde. She thought we wouldn't know. Jackie, this is her last name. Oh, I see. I see. I'm not saying that. Okay, Bertha Russell. Bertha Russell, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Jackie, it was bothering me so much. Then I could not figure out who Parker Posey's husband was. Well, Parker Posey, Josie and the Pussycats. Please, I knew that almost immediately. When I saw Parker Posey on the credits in the beginning when they changed the song, I was like, excuse me, Josie.

1:05:14I knew Josie was going to be there without the Pussycats and I was really excited. But do you know who her husband is? Who? You probably don't know. Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy's dad. I just watched Harry Potter. Oh, beautiful. Then the girl who has the boyfriend, the girl with the teeth. Yeah, who's that? She is like a classic. She was in Game of Thrones. I think she was like one of the hookers. Yeah, like a bed wench. Yeah, she was a bed wench. Thank you. Okay, let me go to just White Lotus season three cast. I was just - And the little brother, what is he from? Oh, he's like, you know, classic up and comer.

1:05:45He's classic, like somewhere I turn pretty. Yeah, exactly. But like, actually, what is he from? It was just so distracting. I was like, I need to spend - And then I also wanted to know what hotel they filmed at because I find that really interesting. It's the Four Seasons in Thailand. And you know that's going to become like the next big hot thing. Like that Italy hotel. Like good luck ever. Every hotel that's ever been featured. Well, you know I never watched season two. But that's not like. I like the show actually because you can kind of jump back in. Except that you kind of can't. The little brother's from Perfect Couple.

1:06:16So we just saw him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's a little bro. That's like kind of like all he gets cast as. Classic little brother. So. Oh, oh my God. I didn't realize that the celebrity of the three friends, girls, Jacqueline. That's Michelle Monaghan. Yes. I didn't know that was Michelle Monaghan. And our queen, Leslie Bibb. We love Leslie Bibb. Give Leslie Bibb all the jobs. All of them. She should be in every show. She's such a good actress and she did amazing. But I saw in the credits, Michelle Monaghan's in this. I'm like, oh, I love that for her. Like after Tom Brady and everything, she'll be on my bonus.

1:06:44Jackie, no, no. No? That's Bridget Moynihan. Come on. And I want to say, you're not the only person who gets Bridget and Michelle. And they don't even have the same last name. Monaghan and Moynihan. Are you sure? Positive. Okay, so who's Michelle Monaghan? Classic actress. She reminds me of like an Amanda Peet, you know? Yeah. she's just a gal um oh that's so funny that you thought it was uh tom brady's ex-wife no the one thing because i watched with ben and ben had not seen season one or two and i said it's fine it's just one of these shows that you can pick up there is like a running theme that i i don't think you know about with the greg orange shirt guy something to do with jennifer coolidge season one he was her boyfriend there right they meet at the hotel oh yeah they have he's like fake locked out of his room he's giving like con man we can't really figure out but you know she's this lonely old woman and then he like sees this wealthy woman and he immediately like you know drops everything to be there for her and i think he was probably planning something with her then season two which you missed they show up as a couple so they're like you know together still after meeting in hawaii and he's very shady the whole season he's like taking weird phone calls then he has to leave early and then she's like hanging out with these gays who are trying to murder her and they do right yes but she's in their house and she sees a picture of these gays and her man greg but he left like how do you so she's like oh my god i'm being set up like a lot of different things these gays are trying to murder me so he leaves the trip early and then we find out last night he's been living in thailand for the last year with this lady so he is nefarious but i do feel like and i missed i missed a lot of i didn't even realize he's involved in her murder so he's just weird and shady and that's like really all we know and i kind of missed that it wasn't until I saw like a TikTok recap being like, did you catch this white lotus moment?

1:08:22And I'm like, no, I didn't. Yeah, I was like, Greg. Yeah, I was seriously like, oh, guy in an orange shirt, cool. Yeah. Cool. The episode was boring, but. We're setting the stage. Exactly. And it's a nice environment. It's pargelicious. I miss a pineapple room guy. Like that was peak. So pineapple room guy, I think like that role is the Patrick Schwartz. Of course. Like the enraging. Of course. but like i reference the pineapple room guy all the time yeah we've all been the pineapple if someone's like complaining about anything i'm like don't be the pineapple and it's a really good and important lesson yeah it's so true and then there's some so i didn't watch the second season i'm sure i would enjoy it they're just like very established characters a little bit infuriating obviously very entitled it's the way people behave on vacation um so we'll see what this season holds.

1:09:15We will. But literally, when you're like obsessed with TV and celebrities, like watching The White Lotus requires 20 minutes of research prior because it was just infuriating trying to place people. Yeah. I was just, I didn't watch with anything else in mind. I was just like trying to be present. I feel like I was present. So good of you. And then also the guy in the first scene, Zion, like when does he come? Because he wasn't on the boat. So that's Belinda's son. That's Belinda. Because she said, my son is coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he's looking for his mom. Yeah, right. Oh. So I think he gets there in a little bit.

1:09:49Okay, that makes sense. I thought he was, I guess, but then I'm like, he's not here. This is just the first season. And Belinda's in the second season, so she's also like a - Belinda's in every season. She's the common denominator. Yeah, she's, exactly. Her and Jennifer Coolidge, but then Jennifer Coolidge is no longer with us. The last thing I wanted to say was this is the first time that it's not like a traditional hotel. It's like this wellness program. It was giving nine perfect strangers. I didn't finish it, but it was like that annoying - I didn't finish Nine Perfect Strangers either, but it was.

1:10:15And I kind of, my favorite thing about White Lotus is like how classic hotel it is. Yeah. And so much of this with like taking your phones away and like a diet program, that's not really like what we've come to expect. I was like, what is this, a fat farm? Yeah, right. Oh my God, I was laughing so hard. I didn't realize that's like a term everyone uses. When his girlfriend said, that is so on brand for you, being a victim of your own choices, like slay. I need to start using that. It's so true. But is that even his girlfriend? There's something like not girlfriend-like. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. There's something weird with everyone.

1:10:46So we'll see on all counts. That's your White Lotus recap and we'll try and stay up on it. Yeah. The final part of today's show is Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where every Tuesday Jackie and I read three submissions from girlies who have written into us desperately seeking advice from two extremely beautiful women. Beautiful. I want to say smart. I want to say stunning. And so if you ever want to write into us, you can do so one of two ways. Email us, deartosters at gmail.com or head over to our website. thetoastpodcast.com and there's a submission box. Both of those are totally anonymous.

1:11:16Thank you to everyone who wrote in. So first up, we have a little bit of a breastfeeding issue. Hey, Swirlies. I'm a nursing mom. I'm in the thick of postpartum. A good friend of mine who's also a mom and she's nursing came over to visit me this week and we talked about how trying to get a shower in a day can be really challenging with a newborn. My baby was napping, so my friend just told me to go take a quick shower. I've known her my whole life. I know she's safe, so I decided to go ahead. When I was in the shower, I heard my baby cry and I got out. When I came into the room, my friend was nursing my baby.

1:11:42I confronted her and she said she was trying to help and comfort the child. She said I was being dramatic and that she didn't want to disrupt my shower. I'm deeply disturbed by this and I feel like it was a huge violation and honestly creepy. I honestly feel like our friendship is over. Is that weird? Is it not weird? Am I being dramatic? Okay, obviously not cool. Yeah. I have to really put myself in this situation. Imagine like a friend, we're both like nursing mamas. The friend is what makes it weird. Like I think that if I was, if you were doing me a favor coming over and getting the shower the baby started crying and you happen to have also just had a baby and I came back and you were nursing my baby like I would not think that's weird because we're family right but I would ask you still even being your sister like I would have to know so that's like really crazy that she did that if it was a friend um I would just like also I would want to know like are you guys aligned on other stuff like what is she eating like is it so do you think like her milk if her milk is like finding you guys are on the same page about everything and so like it's more so about the like the not asking versus like what actually your child got so I'm gonna go ahead and say like the milk was fine it was just about the act of doing it right she's not like doing meth and breastfeeding right right right right um I would have a conversation with her but like there's a path to forgiveness I think you know it's I guess like she was trying to help it's not a malicious coming like from a bad place like give yourself find comfort in the fact that like for centuries this is what women did like the village What is that called?

1:13:05Wet nurse? A wet nurse. Children breastfed off. It's really not a big deal. People even go to like a breast milk bank and get other women's breast milk. Yeah, but that breast milk has been tested like thoroughly. Right. So that's why I'm like, if this woman's milk like seems good to you. She makes good choices. She makes good choices. Like it's, you're aligned. It's really crazy. Like it's really crazy. Now I think what you're saying is true. Like I don't think there are going to be implications. Like right. Like negative health wise on the baby. but it's really crazy to nurse someone else's baby whom you're not related to and you didn't ask yeah I just feel like anyone that I'm super super close with would 100 % ask me because I'm not close with a crazy person right and so if it was someone that I'm not that close with that they felt like they wouldn't ask me um yeah I don't need to be your friend anymore because we weren't that close yeah but let's also let's put our our caps on what is this woman going through she's also postpartum because she's nursing like maybe she is out of her mind heard the baby cry and it woke something in her instinctually I don't know I don't know I she the fact that she won't hear you out like you told her that this upset you and she like says you're being crazy like that's a that's a bad sign like she should be receptive to your feedback yeah you're not being crazy but you know it's also hard to make friends like especially mom friends motherhood so like sometimes we just gotta be like okay you go this way you think this I'll think that but let's like still have know but like touching someone's baby like I do fear well touching is she was always going to touch him he was crying you know sorry sticking your titty in someone else's baby maybe we're all a little too uptight about it oh wow okay I don't think so I mean if it were me like seriously I would punch you in the face yeah but like I actually don't know someone I would not have someone in my house who would do this so like it's really hard to put yourself in her it is what kind of friend what level of friendship that the person is in my house when I have a baby like so we're close so they're alone with the new baby so I can shower but doesn't know me well enough to know like this is just something I would ask and I just want to be clear you are not being dramatic you are not wrong for being upset your friend who probably had good intentions like not being receptive to you saying this upset me like that's probably like the most egregious part of this whole thing because she was trying to help I don't think she was trying to be malicious and she made a call and it was the wrong call but so if you said like I don't like that and that upset me and she's like well you're wrong that's where she's a bad friend because she's trying to help the baby i think really when i think about who would do this to me it's like is this someone that i like low-key want to cut out anyway because if it was like you evaluate the friendship say they say it was you and i was like claudia what on earth are you doing don't ever would you be mad um well you're my sister so like it's right it's kind of similar but even though i eat sugary cereal you do eat sugary cereal i wouldn't like be about it i wouldn't be like do that again but i would 100 forgive you and we would move on because like i love you and i cherish our relationship and i want to work on things it's worth salvaging you're saying yeah so evaluate the friendship is the friendship we're establishing yeah this next one is so crazy and i wanted to tell you about it before we started recording so we could like gossip and giggle about it but i think it's better to get your genuine reaction my husband informed me this week that his best friend johnny has been running a snark page for one of the biggest influencers of the moment johnny screenshots every single thing this influencer posts on instagram twitter tiktok etc and picks apart the girl's body the girl's personality life everything my husband told me that he refers to this as his second full-time job he has stopped conversations at their boys night multiple times to update the snark page he responds to comments i believe you guys have had stories about this in the past but i i don't know if you uh have so please help me out johnny has been seriously dating a girl for a few years now and she's become one of my best friends my husband says that johnny's girlfriend has no idea about this and my husband and his other friends have even told johnny that he needs to be done with the snark page because it's really consuming him johnny's response was that he quote has created a community that he cannot abandon johnny has even told my husband that he will tell his girlfriend he's running errands but really he just sits in his car needing to update the reddit page i feel like she needs to know about this i mean i would like to know if my husband spent 75 of his day picking apart another woman online but is it my place i do not want to ruin my husband and johnny's friendship at this point my husband can barely be around him due to johnny being distracted by the reddit page if this was your best friend's boyfriend what would you do is there a way i could drop easter eggs that lead her to this without telling her explicitly please help she needs to know 1000 because you just walk on over there and you tell her straight up you don't need easter eggs you don't need to write us no dear sam the other night at karma at bed uh tell her straight up yeah this is so crazy like one when I first read it I assumed it was just like a like a man influencer I don't know why so the fact that it's a man starting a snark page about about anyone is so crazy like true sign of mental illness but about a girl that's like freaky like serious like leads to violence 100 this is really crazy behavior um and if if my friends knew that my husband was doing something like this that not only is like you are uh uh you have a job you have a family like you have time commitments and you're spending half the day in your car on reddit like rotting that's unacceptable but also the implications on your mental health like actually scare me i would not want to be living in a house with somebody that does that i 100 agree also they're just dating right now like she like stop her from making like a big mistake right you should 100 it's not like they are married to get back to you by the way i don't care he talks about it with his friends like it's not everybody knows right everybody knows but seriously once this episode's over and listen till the end walk on over there and tell her yeah you don't need to come up with some hijinks in order for her to know like what we should wait for something bad to happen because this person's like obviously really crazy just tell her straight up and maybe she won't it won't matter to her and she won't see it as an issue and now she has all the information maybe she's the only one who could get him to like get to stop and come off his phone and pick up his head up and yeah um did you see that um i I forget which one.

1:18:40It was like New York Magazine or New Yorker did a huge article on snark pages and they interviewed anonymously like 10 or 20 girls who do influencer snark and they just talked about how it's like one of the best things that ever happened to them. None of their friends or family know about it. It's just like really good like for their health to like, it was really crazy. You should read it. I did not see it. I will read it. Yeah. So this felt very appropriate because I was just reading, I was actually watching a TikTok recapping it because you know I wasn't reading the article. But it's really crazy behavior yeah especially I mean from anyone but especially a man I know a lot of people like who lurk on pages like that and they like find it enjoy it enjoyable very like schadenfreudey um so there's different levels like lurking participating moderating yeah that's crazy yeah all right our third and final hey Jackson Claude how you doing I came out as a lesbian about five years ago I recently and publicly started posting on my Instagram about my new relationship with a woman before coming out I did date men and I had one year-long relationship with a man my ex-boyfriend and he's a podcast that i do not listen to as very you know for the guys um it's just him and his two buddies mostly talking about sports they had a recent episode titled and discussed how my how my ex turned me gay i only found out because a mutual girl we have in common told me to listen to so shout out to her they never mentioned my name but if you know us it's extremely obvious that they're talking about me if it was just a joke in passing i wouldn't be bothered to now no no how my ex turned me gay yeah i guess like they just are talking about her on the podcast but like do you not see how the pronouns are confusing yeah yeah but she's saying like they're making a joke it's like my ex turned me gay because she's gay oh okay sorry so she said um if it was just a joke in passing i wouldn't be as bothered um as i realized my coming out probably did shake him up quite a bit we broke up a year and a half before i came out by the way.

1:20:29The podcast, he goes into detail about our sex life, things I did that should have been rainbow flags, which is like basically playing college sports and not wearing makeup. My girlfriend says I should just let it go that he's a loser. Rainbow flags. That's funny you use that term. I cannot help but feel hurt. Our breakup wasn't good, but no one cheated or did anything nefarious. We have not spoken directly since the breakup, but we occasionally bump into each other at weddings and cordially say, hey, how are you? Should I text him and say, what the fuck, take the podcast down or just let it go?

1:20:55Sincerely, your lesbian listener. I think you got to let it go this is his story this is his life and his experience he's telling it on his show now i hope he has an audience otherwise this is just like sad and by the way you should find solace in knowing he most likely doesn't so yeah it's hard to get a podcast to get listened to these days and it's unfortunate he's sharing like really private stuff but it doesn't sound like he said the sex life that i don't like that i don't like that that's what people do every day on podcasts yeah um it's like the culture the thing is in order for you to be happy you have to let this go like living in the past and judging up things it's not good for you to let yeah to not let it go so i wouldn't say anything i don't need to like reinvigorate the conversations with this guy but it does feel like taylor strecker's ex-husband went into us because that's literally her favorite thing to talk about a podcast but she does it too no no i'm saying the listener is taylor's taylor's taylor's taylor's trecker would never i don't think be mad if her husband went on a podcast and started talking about this because she goes on her podcast and talks about her husband her former life yeah right um so i think the answer for you is to start a podcast and take your power back no i wouldn't get in the mud with these actual losers like why don't you go be happy like it sounds like yeah no he did his episode you're in a beautiful relationship he told his story like okay and then next week there'll be a new episode and that's it yeah and that's like i also feel like the hard thing it's like obviously i'm not gay so i don't know like when you come out it's like so your journey right like it's it's really all about you but there are other people especially if you've been romantically involved with them who are a part of it in a some small way and while you know it might not be the way that you want it like they do have every right to like you know say what that was like for them even though it's not about them and it's like any breakup or any relationship so i think you just just ignore by the way ignore yeah don't give like the one thing is a podcast shouldn't have even listened to it the one thing is podcast probably doesn't garner his attention and so you don't want to give that to him yeah just move on from it yeah that's all that's our show you guys hope you enjoyed this pargylicious episode um And we're back tomorrow with lots of fun things in store.

1:22:56So don't forget to - Trips to the Cape for sure tomorrow. What'd you say? Trips to the Cape. Yeah. What about a clam bake? Oh, I would love that. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up. We are also available as podcasting. We're podcasting. We found out Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where we listen to podcasts. Find us at Toast.

1:23:14Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, and about how wickedly talented we are. love ya bye