Confessions of a Mucus Plug: Tuesday, April 8th, 2025

31:19It was not in Megan's self voice. I don't like that. You know. I know part of being a podcaster is you got to get in there. You gotta get down in the mud. We want to hear your take on the ads. Tell us how you use code TURT in everyday life. Oh my God. Speaking of women in podcasting, I have to say something. I, I'm actually really worried about Kylie Kelsey. So I don't, I don't listen to a lot of podcasts, but I don't listen to any podcasts, honestly. But hers comes across my desk all the time. Cause she's always like talking about like mom stuff. And she has like different celebs on. And I guess her thing is like, she tells it straight, right?

31:55Like not going to lie. is the name of her show so she won't lie and so she is always like um responding to people who like say ludicrous things about motherhood and i i just like genuinely want to know like who the hell she hangs out with because who the fuck is saying this shit to you like she i saw a clip and it was like c-sections aren't real births and like people say that to her i guess she's had a couple of c-sections like who the fuck says that like i like that's insane and nobody i know would ever say that and i feel like yes it's like produced content for a podcast but like it makes it seem And like literally she knows the worst people because it's like, oh, people will say to me who I talk about like social media.

32:28Maybe like trolls, like maybe they're like searching in the gutter for the like the worst things that people say or just like bad tropes. You know, I've heard people I've I've not heard anyone that I know say that, but I am aware that that is a narrative out there. That's like C-sections aren't real birds, but like no respectable person says that with their whole chest. correct so yeah she's responding to like these gutter trolls yeah so but but the way she says it conversationally sounds like like somebody you know like her friend when they went to coffee yeah and i'm always like girl you need new friends like you need a new social circle but it maybe she is just like responding to general like things yeah not like specific instances i think it's more so like stereotypes and just the the nasty things that people say and she's clapping back.

33:18Because it really made me worried for like who she hangs out with. Oh, okay. No, I feel like, I think it's probably a little more produced than that. I hope. Okay, I hope so. Yeah. Well, I welcome Megan, of course, as a female founder myself and a female podcaster. Good luck. Yeah, a woman in podcasting. Good luck. Like, I don't, like I don't care, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I should like, just like I would watch, you know as ever tv um I should like listen to this even this morning I put on Rascal Flats instead of like listening to see what's up I have no you chose yourself I have no desire to listen to this zero not even for R &D purposes or like for the tea like not even like to hate listen I have no desire no she's taking it really seriously from like a business perspective and that to me is just uninteresting like I don't know who the next guest is going to be and there are women especially that I'm sure she knows who are really entertaining but also have amazing businesses like she should have Reese Witherspoon on you know not that there's anything wrong with Whitney Wolford she's like built an amazing billion dollar business but like from an entertainment perspective it's not an entertainment show it's a business show and for that I'm just like bored I don't think it's fair to say that we're bored because we didn't listen because we didn't listen but bored by the concept yeah and I know that they're not in a studio together both looking pargy wearing like Laura Piana sweaters because I know it's done remotely and she's in her living room and it's audio only.

34:45So like seriously, I'm out. Is there anyone she could have on that you would? Gwyneth. You would tune in? Thousand percent. Okay. So there it is. I feel like she will have her on. Maybe not this season because the season's probably wrapped and they just became friendly. Maybe next season. I know we already had this conversation, but I, my money is more on Megan going on the Goop podcast to promote her own new podcast. And like Gwyneth wouldn't go on this unknown show pod swap that's what we call it around these parts yeah we need a pod maybe maybe two for two with pod predictions i think so i think i can't believe i said whitney like somebody find the clip for me please like i don't believe it i'm literally so smart let me know if you guys remember what i'm remembering by the way i remember the exact conversation and i remember making a prediction that you thought was good because i remember feeling good about myself and then i remember like you couldn't think of one of my gosh she's so dumb i'm so smart no no mine was Sarah Blakely like from the get no like you couldn't think of one I remember okay so okay I see yeah and like you were dumb and I was smart I paid you the highest of compliments saying to bring me down it's not enough for me to prop you up you also have to stomp on me below you correct um so I remember that feeling I just don't remember exactly whom I predicted got it well and I don't I don't think of the bumble founder a lot so like I'm surprised she was in my brain no I don't think of her a lot either even though she's so ubiquitous and she's a classic girly female founder yeah yeah so what check it out check it out and and if you do listen like let us know your thoughts as toasters who obviously have a high bar for content correct i trust the toaster's opinion on it agreed are you ready for our next story oh i'm gonna move some things around i don't think you're ready for the next one this next one was a turdy sent to me but i had seen and i too was interested shout out to liz woods for posting the premium content because francesca farrago is claiming that influencers have been offered money to promote negative hailey bieber narratives on tiktok so francesca farrago took to snapchat to walk up her stairs and wash her face and casually like drop this bomb yeah she's doing skincare yeah but like she was it was such an afterthought like she's literally i know she's also a new mom she's like huffing and puffing up the stairs to twins like she's pumping breastfeeding and just decides to share that apparently influencers are being paid to hop on this tiktok trend smearing she got an offer herself beaver so she had said like in the past people like herself um get offered get paid to do trends whether it's dances or use certain songs or certain audio music right i could see that like we would i don't think we would do this but then i started thinking like maybe we should pay influencers to use some of our sounds from our show my god that's money i'll spend right that would but they do it anyway you know yeah not enough we are a delight what is it the fact that we have so many haters genuinely blows my mind anyway yeah we're viral so it'd be akin to that like us paying people but it's i don't know who they pay people to use their musics maybe it's labels maybe it's artists she said she got an offer it's a bunch i've been offered to like use someone's song like it's a bunch of nobody you heard of right it's it's a bunch of people who do it like music labels management companies but then i feel like after the justin baldoni article um and like the we were all introduced to the concept of like astroturfing um you'd always felt like certain things were getting like unfair treatment on social media and you were like who's behind this and like if you feel like a conspiracy theorist and that's why that blake lively like her initial complaint with all the screenshots like actually was so for me at least like eye-opening because he actually sent a hailey bieber tweet yeah remember he was like we need this yeah for blake and it was like 10 times hailey bieber has been a woman hating mean girl but i saw it more as like bots and bot farms and like a company creating a bunch of accounts making writing viral tweets and then having their thousands of accounts like that yes and not paying real people real influential people to say stuff that they don't even know to be true that maybe this is just like the next step in astroturfing this was surprising to me um she did not name anyone specifically but implied that um certain trends and popular sounds on platforms like tiktok may be part of a larger smear campaign so she said she got an offer to do this hailey beaver trend that's going around it's like he thinks i we just met but turns out i was stalking him and it's like a picture of hailey beaver because that's the narrative about her right now oh you know what i've seen that okay so now influencers are it's that picture of her holding like j14 magazine when she's actually 11 being like i love justin bieber oh my so yeah she she didn't do it she thought it was like nasty and she's letting everyone know thanks good yeah thanks because i feel like if you're a rational media literate person and you watch what goes on on social media around certain people hailey bieber being one of them you feel like it's an abnormal reaction there's so much being said and it's all so nasty and you're like you don't want to sound like a crazy person but you're like this feels coordinated so something like this like does give validity also like the justin baldoni uh introduction to astroturfing and that company in dallas that like does this for a living um you're like oh no these things do exist right but then who's paying for this well yes so a lot of the the initial you know i mean i saw it and i'm like oh it's selena right like and i think that's the natural everybody even because even the selena fans are now hating on francesca sending her so much hate and death threats she never said it so it's like you're self-identifying yeah like so i mean who else for real who hates hailey bieber even though like selena gomez doesn't hate hailey bieber as far as we know right like they were photographed together at LACMA.

40:39Claudia, you have to let that go. I can't. It was three years ago and it means nothing. Like so much has happened since then. Yeah. A hatred between the two. But I just refuse to believe it feels like Selena Gomez is like the happiest she's ever been. Like maybe there was a time where I could see Selena Gomez being so miserable that like, yeah, I'm a billionaire. Let's spend some coin ruining Haley's life. But now she feels like she's in the best place she's been in and in like actually 10 years. Yeah. Also, I don't know if this is like an organic movement or I've been astroturf successfully but I've been getting served all these clips of Benny Blanco yeah he's having a moment various podcasts talking about his music what a cogent intellectual insightful man like I feel like you know Nikki Glaser made that joke at the Golden Globes like he's just lucky to be with Selena like he is such a catch he is such a good guy he says really wonderful things about her but also he's such a great music creator he's been like showing how he's made certain songs for years even like he did um one of the kesha songs he showed how he made the bridge he had like no more money or time left and so he used like dj turn it up but but but he had she had said that once the beginning of the song so like he made that the bridge and he's like showing how he writes all these songs he's a very smart person i'm really um impressed by him yeah i actually think that like the benny blanco turnaround because at first like they started dating everybody's like ew right and then they started doing a lot of press together and I think a lot of it had to do with their interview on Jay Shetty where they talked a lot about their relationship and he's like from Jay Shetty he's extremely emotionally intelligent and it's like you know internet talk it's like guys get you a guy who will do and it's like that's literally Betty Blanco and you're all clowning on him what because he's short and has curly hair like he's actually a very um good partner and like he really is gonna be like an amazing husband and so I think a lot of people I don't think it had it was astroturfing i actually think it was because i watched it slowly unfold extremely organic people being like wait we're clowning on him because he like took that picture with selena's feet and he has like a gap in his tooth but like wait he is so respectful he's like saying all the things you bitches are always saying you want your boyfriends to say and he's like and he's very smart and he's very well spoken he says interesting stuff i'm very impressed by him just wanted to yeah make note of that right so why would selena now be like going on another astroturfing campaign when she really seems to be, I think for the first time in a really long time, like genuinely happy, personally, professionally, like she's crushing it in all corners of her life.

43:03Yeah. I don't see her being behind this, but if not her, who? Because it's definitely, you're right. Like, okay, so it's a coordinated thing. There's an agency paying people. On behalf of who? Who's paying the agency? Yeah. That's my question. Yeah. Oh, also I forgot to check off on my, on my notepad. Lemonada, it's a big day. I brought it up. I brought out the list. So the only thing that we're still waiting for in our countdown list is keeping up with sports. And I do think we'll be waiting quite a while. We should have them on this show. I would absolutely love it. And I think we could. Even though I think that part of the reasons why keeping up with sports is not here nor will it ever be is like I don't think that they worked well together and I don't think they would agree to do an interview together.

43:47Maybe we could have them on separately and they could each tell their story. side of what happened yes oh i love that like sort of a group therapy doing love that are you ready for our next story yeah white lotus still making news after the premiere and now um we are learning that a scrapped sex scene between two unlikely characters in the season three finale was cut so apparently the white lotus scrapped an unexpected sex scene between piper and zion Yes, Belinda's son. And apparently took Piper's virginity. Yeah, the show's creator, Mike White, revealed that they were supposed to hook up even though viewers never saw them cross paths at the resort.

44:29He said the part that was cut, which is very disappointing, is that she decides to lose her virginity in the script in the last episode and she actually has sex with Zion, which is Belinda's son. I mean, I guess it's in the very last episode so she's already back from her monk trip and she knows she's not going to move to Thailand. So I understand why if they needed to cut stuff, like this doesn't serve any purpose. it would just be like for fun. Yeah, I think people actually would have really loved it. He said, I was trying to do too much narratively, which I can understand why he felt that way.

44:55But when you watch the whole show, it's like there actually kind of wasn't enough narratively. Yeah. And he addressed that in the podcast too. Yeah, he said something like, I'm edging you guys to get out of my bed if you don't like it. Yeah, he was basically like, I've seen the backlash saying like nothing happened in this show. And he's like, this is not the type of show. It's a world building show. You're just like getting to know people for one week. All roads are not supposed to connect back to the murder. Like it's not that type of show. It's not murder on the Oriette. Like it's just a show and this, if you don't like it, scram.

45:22Yeah. Well, he said a little harsher than that and he made it very sexual, which I guess he does. And so I chose to paraphrase. No, he said like, this is my bed. Don't sleep with me. Get out of my bed. I'm edging you. You like edging? You don't like edging? Leave. Maybe he saw the Toast podcast talking about edging and he was inspired. I think fans would have went wild for this. I just want to say it might have been a miss to cut it. Like people like him a lot. The second thing I heard was cut. And then the one about Lori's daughter was cut. Yes. Carrie Coon had a trans daughter and they like talked about it.

45:55And that whole scene was cut. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I guess it was more so to serve that conversation about like all their different lifestyles. Like Leslie Bibb who goes to church and voted for Trump and the other two who didn't. So I guess it was like meant to be political. I don't think either of those two, like really either of those missing scenes. And that's the whole point of deleted scenes, right? They can be deleted. Yeah. They don't impact the plot at all. I am fine with not seeing. I found Belinda's son to be annoying. Like I'd had enough of him, you know? Yeah, he was crazy. He was crazy and he was like barely in the show.

46:27I just found his energy like so overwhelming. Do you think he got the same$40 ,000? It's an amazing question. Actually, he's not in every episode. So he's in the first and the last, maybe the last two. So maybe he made$120 ,000. Yeah. Whereas everybody else, except for Sam Rockwell, he probably got paid the same as Sam Rockwell. Everybody else is in every single episode. Yeah. True that. Are you ready for our next story? Number four. Our fourth story that you sent me from an interesting website. You guys, where is the buzz dot com? Yeah. Sorry. There wasn't like a lot of widespread media coverage because it's like pretty much an Internet thing.

47:04But it's also a very New York thing. If you want to know what's going down in New York, like something's going down. The New York Knicks took down the Phoenix Suns 112 to 98 on Sunday night. But the real fireworks came from Oji Anobi, who erupted for 32.6 rebounds and three assists, possibly powered by Olympic gold medalist Suni Lee's courtside presence. Yes. So Suni Lee went courtside to the Knicks game and she looked so unbelievably gorgeous. And there are a couple of videos of what's his name? Sorry, Ben is obsessed with him. Oji. Like walking past her and like doing like good basketball moves like right in front of her.

47:40and he had like a particularly good game and the Knicks aren't like amazing. They're not bad and he's a good player. But this is sort of, you know, something had to be different, right? Why was this game different from all other games? Sunni. And people think that like, you know, there was a pretty girl in the front row, an Olympian, you know, and he kind of was showing off. Do you think she was a guest of his to begin with? So the narrative online, which is completely made up, like everybody's just LARPing, is that they're totally not connected. and I think when like you come as a guest of a player you get like much worse seats they don't give you a court side but when you're Suni and like the Knicks invite you you take a court side seat you know I think she was there like for press yeah so I think she could have still gotten seats if she was like his girlfriend she could have gotten yes but but there's no there's no reason to believe that they're boyfriend and girlfriend the way he was like looking at her it could have been like that's my girl no and i absolutely love this for suny i think that that's a great boyfriend for her and we don't even talk about how you know who's like a prominent new york knicks wag right now who jordan woods carl anthony towns plays on the knicks and and she like low key has been with him for a while and he's a really good basketball player oh that's cool good for her yeah like he's legit she's not like married to like i'm not married excuse me they're dating but like you know like a sad basketball player i think some girls just want to date basketball players so to pick up anyone.

49:00Yeah. No, he's like, he's a real player. And if you make it to the NBA, like you're probably good, you know? Yeah. You're getting choked up? It's emotional to think about all the players who aren't good enough. Yeah. No, but like some, some girls just want to say that they're dating an NBA player. So like there's a scrub who like still wears jeans to the game. He just, because he's not going to get played and he makes$200 ,000 a year. And like you have a boyfriend in the NBA. Yeah. But that's not what this is. So I just want it to be clear. Like she, low key has like a boyfriend who's really good.

49:27I assume I don't get the vibe she's always at like Sushi Park okay she was there once but yeah that we saw always there always are you ready for our fifth and final story no I am not is it our fifth and final story that's brought to you by sax.com it is so this episode is brought to you by sax.com the easiest way to find style inspiration for any upcoming events that you might have and whether that's you know perhaps a bris or perhaps a summer soiree you're taking a trip, it can be overwhelming. And you know, you can't get excited for something until you know what you're wearing. And if you love what you're wearing, you'll be even more excited for the event that's coming up.

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54:08T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A.com slash toast. thank you slash turp are you excited to experience your own college drum like is that something that's exciting to you after all the talk about it no that's a good question i i don't know if i would say i'm like excited that's not that's not one of the parts that excites me like it's not like a mucus plug level of no no interest and intrigue no i'm like things i'm actually looking forward to most ready obviously mucus plug no one mucus plug two baby two um yeah meeting the child three like the smells like i feel like i'm so excited to see what my baby smells like like but it's my baby you know like all babies smell good and your children have smelled amazing like seriously some of the best smells of my life and i can only imagine like this one's gonna be even better it's mine yeah i feel like when you're so close to it you don't smell it as much like it's no like it's like your house because you're in it you're in the bubble yeah oh shit that because like yeah now when i think about it i feel like it wasn't every time i pick them up maybe you weren't taking the time to acknowledge the smell maybe maybe okay well i'll let you know i'll report back and then third kisses like no one can tell me like how many kisses like they're all much my kisses yes i love that for you our fifth and final story is actually a little bit of baby adjacent news because caitlin bristow and jason tardic continued to fight as she is slamming him for using her dream baby name for his new dog have you seen this i have it is extremely awkward so we actually talked about on patreon last week how yeah oh that was patreon patreon how she has started to share some stuff about why they broke up she talked about him getting into podcasting how she felt like he was sort of riding her coattails mooching he wasn't paying half the rent whatever She would have to like beg him to pay bills even though they were living in her house that she fully paid off.

56:02That she didn't even want him to move into. And now she is going on her podcast to talk about how he used her dream baby name for his new rescue dog. She said, I'm making this clear. It's not that I'm not over him. But to get a dog and name that dog my dream baby name that I've had in my baby names for 10 years. I even have a text that says to him, I said the day I met him, quote, I want to name my baby Teddy. She doubled down that she's very much over him after breaking up with him in August 2023. After four years together, she said, I did not want to be in that. It felt icky to me. I did not want to be in it.

56:35I know I seem very angry, but it's more like I don't like feeling disrespected. And I just have so many gross feelings from that because for so long I was made to feel crazy. And now I'm like, oh, I'm not crazy. I just saw what other people are seeing now. Are people like turning on Jason Tardik? um I think that she's making a compelling case with everything she shares right like she's just and she I feel like she keeps maintaining like a level even though she's like dragging him through the gutter she keeps maintaining like a level of respect like even with the we talked about this on the patreon so I won't repeat but when she was saying like he would never pay bills she was like I wasn't perfect either like yeah I was crazy not letting him podcast because I had a podcast so she keeps like owning her shit so if you're gonna drag someone like you have you have to be perfect right But she keeps owning her shit with every breath that she also drags him in, which I think is making a compelling case.

57:20And I think that, I mean, this is kind of crazy. So I wanted to go to his Instagram because I think there's something. For his side of things, he got a new dog and then he said, my new buddy needs a new name. Yes, that's what I was just pulling up. He was asking people on March 4th on Instagram, what should I name my new dog? Polling people. And then he wound up going, people had suggested Teddy, which is the name, by the way. He named his dog Teddy and that's her baby name. And there was another name that people had suggested that it was like between the two. And he went with Teddy, which is her dream baby name.

57:50And he knew that. Now, to me, the weirder thing about this is and I want to know, like, I would like to hear from Sean Booth. OK, because now there are three people who are like obsessed with Golden Retrievers. And it all started with Sean Booth. Do you remember that? Tucker Doodle. So Tucker Doodle was Sean Booth's dog. And then when him and Caitlin got engaged and moved in together, like it was their family dog. But when they broke up, like he was Sean's dog first. And people were like really following along the devastation of Caitlin losing Tucker. Now, he wasn't wrong for taking Tucker, but it's just like a sad part of a breakup.

58:24It's just sad. And people were so sad for her. And then she got ramen noodle. Yes. She got a rescue golden retriever. And another one, Pinot. Pinot Noir. Yeah. So she has two golden retrievers. then Jason comes and she becomes like the Sean Booth Jason comes to live with her he falls in love with these two dogs who are not his ramen and pino ramen and pino and then they break up and he's dealing with the fallout of losing so he gets a doodle or whatever what is it a golden retriever yeah it's a classic golden retriever it's it's the dog from full house and so to me Like that's the funny thing here.

59:06Like not the name. I can't get over like what does Sean Booth think of all of this? Yeah. And it's just a cycle that's going to keep repeating. Yes. The next girl. Jason's next girlfriend is going to fall in love with Teddy. And then she's going to be heartbroken. And she's going to get snickerdoodle.

59:26I don't know if Sean Booth like cares about the dog, the canine aspect of things, but I wonder what he thinks about like this infighting because it was crazy that after she moved on from Sean she started she dated Jason for four years which is a really long time and they were engaged and that was like a really serious relationship relationship and the fact that it went south is really surprising because when you're with someone for four years like you would get married because like yeah if you hate them like you'd hate them at two years too correct um so I just wonder like what he thinks of the whole thing but um what I want to say name I want to talk about the name, but I also want to say about like her sharing the details.

1:00:03I do agree with you that she is still being respectful because I feel like a lot of times people get out of a breakup and the next day they just start a laundry list of everything this person said or did that like we should never know. Like, yes, you tell us you tell us and it's not good. But like I would never want to date that person next to know that anything that I say, like there's nothing private here. No, it is now common for you to be in a public relationship breakup and then within the next month go on a podcast or your own podcast and share every dirty detail like yes even if somebody wasn't great to you in a relationship barring you know like really bad things like relationships are two people being human and you're you should be allowed to like keep that private it's like an icky thing I don't like it and so she actually never really talked about him he had a whole relationship since then with Kat it's been a long time and I still feel like she is being respectful it's been two years and even the things that she's not saying things that he said to her like Like, airing quotes.

1:00:55Like, just generally speaking, he wanted this. I wanted that. I didn't like this. And I think that's just, like, a fair way to talk about a relationship at a glance. But now she's pissed. Yeah. Now she's pissed. Now, with the name, I've seen, like, you know, two schools of thought online. The first being, like, oh, this is so disgusting of him. And two being, like, I think, like, you know, men were giving this man more credit. Like, that he was even listening. That he knew, like, your favorite baby name, you know? I feel like he's the type of guy who listens. She swears it's like a core part of their relationship.

1:01:27It was like from the beginning of their time together. Like it was a thing. So I believe her. Do you think it's odd that she told him what she wanted to name her baby the first day she met him? No. Like girls are just like crazy, you know? I think he's the type of man who listens and remembers. I don't think that this is like a coincidence. But I could see for him being like, well, what does that have to do with me and my dog? Like it's not like, you know what I mean? right because then if caitlin has a baby and she names it teddy they're like it's weird it's jason's name but i can see for caitlin that it's like you named your dog my baby name well the fact that one's a human and one is a dog is obviously an issue as well but i think it actually would have been worse if it was a baby because then like if caitlin's baby and jason's baby have the same name like that's even weirder but teddy is um also theo so correct trailblazer trailblazer yeah it's it's definitely all right well Caitlin now that you can't use the name might I suggest Dora do dadu just an idea crunchy angel what a weird saga what that was like a weird development that made me feel weird agreed and I feel like this is not the end because he has no when his next trading secrets come out he's got some secrets he hasn't responded he hasn't responded but maybe he won't because i think that then she'll respond and make him look even worse and like maybe this is as bad as it gets for him and he could come back from this he could take it yeah yeah it's nothing like really crazy it's just you know breakup stuff but i don't think he should respond no me neither because she'll come out swinging well let's dive into dear toasters our weekly advice segment where every tuesday jackie and i select three submissions from swirlies who have written to us from around the globe about things going on in their lives.

1:03:16Today we have one update and two submissions. If you ever want to write to us, it's deartosters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down. There's a submission box. Both methods of communication are completely anonymous. Do not worry. Now, which one do I want to read first? The update, maybe? Like, you've teased us long enough. Sure. So the original submission was, like, maybe two or three weeks ago about her husband who got a new secretary. And she, like, calls him crying a lot. And then they were in the car. And she was like, are you alone? and he was like no and hung up remember do you want me to read the full submission i think so for other people people might not be as plugged my husband recently got a new secretary she always calls and texts him and cries to him every day about her marriage issues and that she might be getting a divorce she barely shows up to work but my husband has not fired her last weekend we were away she called to ask a work question she was on speaker and at the end of the call she asked are you alone he quickly said no and hung up when i asked him about it he was like oh it's probably nothing but i don't think it was nothing am i crazy is it something nefarious going on i want to snoop but like i don't want to snoop but maybe i should and we told her like this woman sounds crazy and unprofessional um but trust your gut like just keep an eye on her jezebels must be washed hello i'm the swirly who wrote in a few weeks ago about my husband's secretary calling him after hours to complain about her divorce and asking if he was alone after writing in i decided to trust my gut and i went to surprise him at work last week for his birthday his office is the last one in the hall it's private nobody can enter from the main office unless they're buzzed in but I have a key.

1:04:35To make a long story short, I walked in on them making out. I ran out. He ran after me, crying, pleading, saying he's sorry. It's not his fault. He's a sex addict and I need to give him a chance and he'll go for help. I want to be there for him and help him. I just really can't move past this. I'm currently at my sister's house, just still in shock and unsure what to do. Anyways, your podcast is the only thing that makes me smile daily. So thank you, Swirlies. Love you, bye. Oh my God. It's so crazy because when we read the submission, I'm like, this could really be nothing. Yes. I know we dig into everything, but like it's probably nothing.

1:05:05Oh my God. Do not go back to him. It doesn't sound like you have kids. So this sex addict is not your problem. And like anyone with agreed to not even be like, oh, I messed up to make it out of sex addiction. Like no, to like your first, you've, you've just been caught. No. And your first thing is to come up with an excuse. but the excuse is worse than if you just made a mistake because I don't want to go on this journey through sex addiction with you. I don't, I don't want to worry about it for the rest of my life. Like you literally just said I have a chronic issue, but I will never stop. Right.

1:05:36And the issue is fidelity. Like, come out. No, no, no. Good day, sir. And she would have mentioned if she has kids. So. No, she doesn't. Run for the hills. Agreed. And I think the lesson here is like, it's hard not to get carried away, but you really should trust your gut. But sometimes your gut is so crazy. And also like sometimes people are so normal that they don't do so. Like a crying secretary could be a crying secretary, but your husband's like normal and is just like this. And when you love your husband as you should, like you see them as in the best possible light. Yeah. I'm really sorry that that happened to you.

1:06:07But I'm glad you found out. Me too. Before it was like too late and gets so complicated with kids. How much were they hooking up that you just walked in on one random afternoon. Right. And you caught it. Right. That's what's crazy. You know, God was on your side. Yeah. Because they could have just also been working, you know. They could. Yeah, they could have been like just talking. They don't spend the whole work day making out. They could have been talking. She could have been crying. and you could have been like still unclear. It could have been something that was excused away. Yeah, but you have clarity.

1:06:35There's nothing better. Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay, hello. I'm in dire need of your help. Turdy, I know you can relate since this is your worst nightmare. My mother-in-law loves to give us gifts, aka junk. For Easter three weeks early, she gave us a bag of shit that weighs more than my one and a half year old. Upon opening it, 95 % of it was old and used. There was cat hair on it. I'm allergic and I hate cats. So I kindly asked if she wanted the bag and they used eggs back. She was mad and told me that I could throw it away. I explained how I don't love clutter and I feel guilty throwing things away.

1:07:08Plus, I'm a busy working mom. So donation, a trip to the donations bin isn't an ideal thing. She was passive aggressive and now I don't know what to do. I can't handle more junk and shit in my house. Do I throw it away and try not to feel bad? Do I not accept the junk? Help. Okay, this is so a case to the sweeper. Claudia can answer this question. I am someone who, like, if you bring something to my house, I don't even care if it's like plated in gold. It's going in the trash. Like I hate shit. And I agree. Like it feels so stupid and wasteful. And you just want to tell the person bringing you the shit.

1:07:37Like stop. But we have to act right. And so I don't think you should say anything. I think the fact that you did say anything is like kind of rude. This is your mother-in-law. Do you want your used eggs back? You need to make peace with throwing shit away. It's Marie Kondo. Is this sparking joy? No. You absolutely have to be okay with throwing things away. because if you're going to be as militaristic about junk as I am, you can't like tell every, sometimes people are just being nice. Like you can't tell them that it's ugly and gross and you don't want it. Even though it's ugly and gross and you don't want it.

1:08:06Just throw it away. You have to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. And while it's admirable, you want to go to the donations bin. Please, the people who are using that bin deserve better than your used eggs. Throw it away and keep your mouth shut and keep the peace. Yeah, but that's a real issue. I have it too. And that's what I was just saying. Like, Like, please. And I think my friends and family who listen to this podcast heard me. Like, if you're coming over to my house postpartum, don't bring anything. A cupcake, of course, is always welcome. But, like, don't bring crap. We wouldn't dream of it.

1:08:36And don't bring it with, like, ribbons and cellophane. Like, that's more trash for me. Joyless. Joyless, yes. Joyless. I want to live in a joyless home. Wow. I so stand with this girl. I know. And you work so hard to make your home pargy. And especially, like, how hard do you work when you're having company over, right? Like your house is never cleaner than the second before company comes just for them to come with their ugly shit. Like I hear you. It's disrespectful. Don't if you're coming over for dinner, don't bring me a gift. I'm good. I won't. OK, this one's like kind of crazy. OK. Hi, ladies.

1:09:13I'm feeling like such a brat, but give it to me straight. Am I? My husband and I have worked really hard to make a good living and provide for our family financially in a way that we've always wanted to. and recently our success has afforded us the ability to join a private club that we are absolutely loving the club does allow us to bring a limited number of guests right well here we're gonna find out ready the club does allow us to bring a limited number of guests on site for special events so my husband is wanting to invite his sister's family to things sorry i don't know why i just stuttered my husband is wanting to invite his sister's family to things and here's where i might be a brat my sister-in-law and her family are not the elk of country clubbers if you know what I mean.

1:09:49They don't work. They don't even try to work. They live off of their parents. They're in their late 30s. They're older than us. They do not own the proper attire to attend events at this venue. To make matters worse, I find them insufferable to be around and impossible to relate to. This makes holiday events especially hard. My PGM of a husband wants to invite them to country club events and doesn't have an embarrassed bone in his body. He doesn't understand why I have so much anxiety around this. What do I do? I don't like this of her. I don't like people who are embarrassed of their family for reasons like this that they don't have the right clothes like if you don't want to be around her because she's insufferable that's a different problem but like agreed you're at a club and there's a buffet and a million things going on it's not you guys really have to chat no one's looking at you be like embarrassed of them because they're not the elk of country clubbers like that's really snobbish agreed and if there is a dress code like a lot of clubs like require a man to wear like a collared shirt or whatever just let them know yeah you know have a collared shirt it might be ugly who gives it within the code i care more about like what's on tap at the buffet you know yeah you're really you need to completely rejigger your priorities sounds like you just hate these people and like you're looking for an excuse for them not to come but jackie's right like you should never be embarrassed of your family like family's family not want to spend time with them because of their insides but not because of their outsides.

1:11:04She just mom'd you hard. You've been mothered. Sorry. I know that's not cool. Jackie's right. I don't like that. No, but I do think you have a responsibility as the club member to let them know about the dress code. Because you don't want them showing up and then they'll be embarrassed that they can't come into the dining room. So yes, tell them the dress code. They'll be within dress code. It might not be pretty, but it will be acceptable. But they need to know if they can't wear a hat or shorts or flip flops. Right. So just like, like get over it. Just change your mindset. Yeah. So I'm like feeling defensive of the sister.

1:11:43I know. I mean, I'm not having jobs like is a little crazy. No, and it's like they're not the Elch of country clubbers, but they're just like these Nepo babies who live off their parents. Right, their parents are rich enough. Sounds like country clubbers. It sounds like clubbers to me. It's a good, good inconsistency you pointed out. Yeah.

1:12:03Interesting. Follow up. Do let us know. Yeah.

1:12:09Guys, that's our show. A Nalafi for you. Is it Nalaf? I'm flying blind. Yeah, it's like an hour 10. I know. You are flying blind. You need to get a clock. No, the thing is, I look at, I know what time we start, and then I have a sense how we're pacing. Well, I have a sense that today's episode is over, and I've had such a pleasure being here with you. But my spidey senses are telling me to wrap up. Okay I'm older Me too Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show Where we deliver the fast five stories you need to do every Monday through Friday on YouTube So if you're watching this on YouTube Please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up We're also available as a podcast anywhere Podcasts can be found So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IRED, CastBox All the places where we listen to podcasts Find us The Toast Leave a five star review Yes, yes of course About how beautiful About how stunning And of course about how wickedly talented we are Love ya, bye