Get Me To God's Country: Tuesday, April 1st, 2025

31:15Like why wouldn't they be attracted to one another? You know? Yeah, I think when you're like that good looking, really nothing else matters also. So I don't know why. But some good looking people are awful. Dreadful, yeah. And like bad person, like weird and just not real people. These both seem like funny, cute, nice. Why can't two funny, cute, nice people be together? Like why do they hate each other so much? Because they should be together. Totally randomly. Is Craig Connover's new girlfriend? Yeah. Okay, because I wanted to, that was part of my updates in the pre-Fast by Banner that like we kind of correctly but also incorrectly guessed who Craig Connover was dating.

31:52I know, but we're going to correct ourselves. We're going to correct ourselves, but no, everyone thinks that we like totally murdered the call, but we - I know, and I hate to tell people like that who are saying Jackson Turney predicted this flawlessly. I hate to tell them that they're wrong. Yeah, but we'll get into it. Yeah, I actually just swapped it in because I remembered we had to talk about that. That came out like right after we wrapped on Friday. But back to Glenn and Sydney. hoping for the best expecting the worst agreed smiling because it happened crying because it's over are you ready for our next story i am morgan wallen has gone viral oh yes for his exit from snl this weekend as we reported last week morgan wallen played snl this weekend he played two songs on the show that he has assorted history with and then during the send-off at the end of the show where the host and the musical performer always say goodbye and then they hug everyone in the cast and crew he said bye he hugged mikey madison and he walked off like directly into the camera and now everybody is reading the body language of everyone on the stage including the crew who's the cast and crew which who seem to be like very far behind them push back further than usual they're like body language is like like timid and like scared not open and excited and perhaps like this could have been explained away in one way but then uh you know 20 minutes later morgan posts from his private jet that he's getting out of Dodge being like, get me back to God's country.

33:14Get me back to God's country. And then a cast member posted on their Instagram the back of a Krispy Kreme truck and said, get me to God's country. That was a writer. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, this is not nothing. Plus all the history. What do you think happened? Even though Kenan went on Good Day in New York and Rosanna Scotto was like, what the hell? and Kenan, you know, unproblematic King is like, oh, I think maybe he didn't know, like really trying to, but there's no way that this wasn't contentious just based on so many things. And then the Instagram story really confirmed it. Um, now I saw people saying, oh, I was in the audience.

33:54Morgan went to the fans, to the audience. It was like signing autographs and taking pictures with people. Um, I saw other people saying Morgan didn't know that they Like, I thought the show was over. I think neither of those things are true. I think if that were true, he would have walked off side stage. I don't think you walk into the camera when you just think you're leaving somewhere. Like, he just walked right out of the building. No, let's call a spade a spade. Like, this was indicative of a larger issue. Now, I hate to make everything about myself. I did say that SNL is a curse for Morgan Wallen.

34:24And here I was. I don't know why he would accept this gig. I don't know why. I mean, Morgan Wallen and SNL, like, as ideologies, right, are completely conflicting with one another I don't know why they would want him on and I don't know why he would want to be on it like to be honest it makes no sense and I think that what we saw was a reflection of that I don't this is something I don't know what happened I don't have a theory for like what went on backstage this is something I would really like to know if anybody has any insight or scoop like I'm kind of dying to know what happened yeah not that much could have happened though because he's only the musical performer like it's not like he's in the room war room working up sketches with them I'm insulting people.

35:02Right, working personally. So it was obviously just not like the best fit of an environment. And I actually think the walk-up, like I don't think it was that crazy. Now that I've seen the video so many times and everyone's talking about it, I'm like, oh yeah, it's a big deal. But like he just left. No, it's really jarring, especially because it's like a decades-long tradition. There's no way he didn't know that, right? This isn't his first time on SNL. Does this make you look at Morgan Wallen like negatively? I mean, of all the things Morgan Wallen has done, no, walking off SNL doesn't even crack the top five.

35:34So, no, I'm not looking at him differently. It's so classic Morgan Wallen. He's like a bad boy of country, right? I also, like, I know that the castmates of SNL, like, hated Morgan Wallen before he got there. And I know that Morgan Wallen hated the castmates of SNL before he got there. Like, these are not groups of people, like theater kids and then, like, down-home country bad boy. who aren't gonna mesh and you could tell because a lot of times like people are so excited when they're the musical guests that like they'll get written into sketches because they want to be a part of it it's like more than just and like that's not gonna be morgan i don't know why he accepted this gig honestly it's so like you said sorted for him i think he wanted to put maybe like that snl relationship that behind him like a huge opportunity in music yes everybody Everybody watches circuit when you have it's an honor.

36:24If you have new music to promote, like. It's always a stop. Taylor Swift still does it. Elton John's doing it like it's yeah, it's big. It is big and it's very mainstream. And industry approved and he doesn't have that. So why would he really turn that down and just to go and then why would he also like take a big shit on it? You know, I think because if he's doing if he's accepting this role that he doesn't need, but he understands the importance of the legitimacy of, and he wants that, right? That sort of industry stamp of approval. I get why he would accept it, even if it's not something he really wants to do, but why take a big seeming like dump on it?

37:00Maybe in his mind, he was like, I'm here to play two songs. Like this is what I'm here to do. I'm not part of the cast. I'm not in the writer's room. I'm not with Mikey. Like I'm not doing anything. I'm here to play two songs. My job is to do those things and get on stage at the end and wave. And then I can leave. And I think maybe he just like was a little tunnel visioned in that. Like I'm not here to schmooze. so that the people behind him don't like him. You can see it in their body language. They're like laughing. I'm sorry, but everyone does it. Like presidents, like literally when you think of the people who stood there.

37:27And by the way, to be clear, being an SNL host or musical guest, like it's amazing, right? It looks like the dream. But that five minutes at the end where you have to like stand on camera hugging people like who you met a week ago, it's so awkward. Like if you have, I'm sure there's like a blooper reel of like the most awkward. You go in to give someone a hug and then giving someone else a hug. So you're just like sort of standing there. It's definitely like the worst part of the gig, but it's a tradition and you have to respect it if you're going to do it. And so I want to know what happened.

37:56Like what set Morgan off? I don't know. I don't think anything set him off, but I think the idea that he's going to go and like hug these people who don't want to hug him and he doesn't want to hug them. Like instead just like, but why doesn't he want to, why doesn't he want to hug them? Who knows what happened when the COVID thing happened with those people said about him? Like me, yeah, I'm sure there's just a lot of different stuff. And yes, maybe there was like, draw like bad vibes again this time i i agree i don't think anything like major happened i just don't know he wanted to be there any longer than he needed to i don't think that he thought that walking off like this was gonna be such a big deal no i think he knew i mean like because the thing is is like you know it's like a storied tradition so to not do it like you know what it says and so either it was planned or like by the end of the night he was just like fucking over it either way you know the implications of it so you have to like i guess you have to be ready i would say that you'd be ready to make peace to never be invited back again but you would think he would never be invited back again after the last time so right and i saw they kind of can't quit each other on page six it said that he has no issue with the network like sources close to nbc told tmz that there's no bad blood between him and the network in fact insiders say they would have him back on and chalked his viral departure up to an awkward moment so whatever is going on is between Honestly, like between him and Bowen and Sarah and Heidi.

39:14Right. You know, and on a personal level. The littler people. I just have like a hard time believing that this was like a nothing social awkward moment. Like it's such a big thing to do. I just think he's not going to stand around and hug people that he's not friends with and he doesn't like. I wonder the last time he did it, did he do the hugs? Maybe he had like a really scarring experience where like, you know, he went in for the handshake and somebody went in for the hug. and like just like a socially awkward maybe that but I I have a feeling it's and now of course um it's become like a political issue people are like well he's a southern conservative and they're like liberal theater kids now I hate that we make everything about politics in this country I do think these two political groups don't align but that's not why you wouldn't hug someone like something happened like maybe just like maybe just like bad like middle school vibes you know if it was like political like that and he was taking a stance I don't think he would have done it to begin with well then at the end of his second song he says go voles and you know praise the lord and maybe nobody would have thought anything of it because that's just like a very country thing to say voles are like a team and the lord is the lord um but now they're like he was saying that the lord is like like people are reading so much into it whereas i actually think it was just like a a bookend to his performance i don't think it was to be a bunch of godless heathens well of course because he said praise the lord and go to god's country and then that's what keenan was saying he was like well i don't know if he was implying like we are godless um i don't know where i you know i experienced to be godless and the to be in a room full of godlessness but that's definitely i can see morgan having that takeaway split asap just know like wherever i stand on this issue i stand firmly with keenan you don't stand with god and his uber driver.

41:04Yeah. Keenan's a professional. You're not going to get it out of him, but you know, Chloe Fineman will be talking about in a few weeks. Yes, exactly. So I think like them putting Keenan on the press circuit, like he did local media literally the next day, which they don't often do them choosing Keenan. Like Keenan is like the father of the group. He's the protector. Like he is not going to be starting stuff. I think in all his years, he's never really even had like so much as a scandal. Whereas some of the others are definitely going to take to social media in due time and share their their truths I think also Mikey Madison could tell us because she's this isn't her full-time job like the other people probably have like you know it would be it would look bad for SNL if they start running their mouths on what happens on set because people wouldn't feel like it's a comfortable safe environment but she saw it all she gave him that lukewarm hug and the lip reader said that it looked like she said chatting to you was really good okay so i saw a different lip reader because so they come back from commercial and there's like a two second where they're where they say something to each other and they don't realize like that it started she said you know thank you to morgan wallen um and he was like yeah but i'm not i'm definitely not as tired as you like it looked like a fine like that's it was like a very fine exchange this person said while hugging it looked like she said because like they did that quick hug it looked like she said chatting she was really good he said sayonara and then chatting to you was really who talks like that is she british no that's what they say like on love island uk i won't have a chat to you that's definitely not what she said she's i think she might watch a lot of love island uk then yeah but you would then say that to someone who you've bonded with over long over love island maybe her and morgan connected about that maybe her and morgan connected and then it looked like colin joe said according to this lip reader that he said to someone you got to remember how he is feeling oh yeah and that's not colin jose playing devil's advocate nicola hickling is the lip reader so that's on her yeah so if she's wrong blame her not us sue her sue her that's interesting so like yeah this is this is sometimes like people are confounded by like what went on between two celebrities and i don't really care this is something like i actually want to know and like this is something I find really interesting.

43:17We have no sources here. I mean, you have to think about all the really, really famous people who have ever been at SNL. Like nothing really gets out. I think that's kind of something they pride themselves on. It is like this place where every, you know, presidents and anyone can come and it's not like it's being leaked to Jumois. Yeah. Too bad SNL 100 wasn't like next week because then it would be in the documentary. Remember how they talked about the weird, awkward send off with Kanye and everyone was talking about these viral moments. We'll have to wait another 100 years to find out. Well, in the meantime, maybe we could talk about Craig Conover's new girlfriend.

43:54Oh, you want to talk about that next? Yeah, I just thought that was a good segue because it was the only story I knew that was coming up. Okay, sure. I usually put reality people at the end, but you got bumped, Craig. Wow, wow, wow. Craig Conover is dating Dak Prescott's ex-girlfriend named Natalie Buffett, let's say. Yeah, there was then a rumor that she was the air Jimmy Buffett's air. Jimmy Buffett. I'm thinking Warren. I got big dreams for her. Oh they said she was like the heiress to Margaritaville. And I was like damn go Craig. But then Google Gemini told me that that wasn't true. So Natalie Buffett is a model and influencer and she did previously date Dak Prescott.

44:34So she's no stranger to a relationship in the limelight. And she was in the audience at Watch What Happens Live when Craig was on last week. And asked about if he's dating. And so that's why also his statements were very much moved on from Paige because like you wouldn't say anything. You don't want to seem like you're harping on your old relationship in front of your new relationship. Yeah. And it was confusing because Jackie and I were speculating on Friday's show about who Craig is going to date next. And we said maybe he'd date like one of his exes, like that girl Natalie, who was on one episode and he took her out on a canoe.

45:07Like justice for her. And then literally two hours later, Dumois revealed his new girlfriend and her name was Natalie. So I think people just assumed that like we were right. But this is a totally different Natalie. Although Craig has known this Natalie for many years. People then, you know, went on Instagram. They found screenshots. They were hanging out in like 2019. Like they've known each other for a while. So it was someone that he knew before. That was the way I was feeling. Yes. Interesting. Well, I think this is exciting for Craig. He obviously wants to be in a relationship and hopefully find his forever.

45:39And I want that for him too. And I think also Paige is like, you know, so fantastic that it's kind of hard to. It is hard. Move on from someone like that. But Natalie seems great. Yeah, no, it's give it's kind of like a Joe Jonas, Gigi Hadid. Yeah. Sophie Turner saga. Like when when you when Joe Jonas got dumped by like a supermodel, you're like, where do you go from here? You can only go down. Then he ended up really going parallel. Yeah. You go to Westeros head west. Correct. Correct. So I think I don't know. there's like always rumors i'm i'm i think page is dating as she very well should and so i think like them both being with new people hopefully like some of the contentiousness that we've been seeing like i don't like it like i like them both like i don't like it and i i hope i'm hoping that it stops yeah especially when you are with someone new like you don't want to seem like you're hung up bitter this person yeah i wonder what she thought of his pants i think she's too new to say anything other than I completely agree you look good yeah but you can like style them be like oh why don't you maybe tuck in your pants or go to the tailor and have them hem like you can suggest like alterations I feel like when you're so new with someone you only see you don't want to be no no no you might not even see it you're just like this is how you like you're not in like critical I want to better you yet it's like I'm still getting to know you and then I can decide what I'll make better do you know what I mean that's how I yeah that's how I would see it you No.

47:08Also, when you're in that early stage, you're just sort of like infatuated with everything. Everything I do is amazing. Wow, I've never seen pants like that. Ben is still in that phase with me. And you for him? No, no. I got out of that phase. I actually never had that phase. I'm too critical to have ever been blinded by love. Yeah, I said that honestly, like if people hadn't mentioned like Craig's pants, like I don't know if I would have noticed. I really don't notice menswear. Me neither. But it was the first thing I noticed. Like that's how blaring they were. I would have I think maybe I did but I'm just saying I'm very menswear blind they were very big that wants me to have more opinions on what he wears I'm like looks good oh that's funny Ben wants less opinions because like he asked for this might probably my husband like my biggest pet peeve with my husband he'll come in an outfit to say do you like this and I say no because I don't and then I'll have like a million follow-up questions as to why I don't like it it's just an opinion like you what do you mean why and it's like what do you mean why I just don't like it.

48:07Let me tell you. Don't ask. And he's like wanting to change my mind. My husband comes in an outfit. Do you like it? Yes. Why do you like it? A million questions. Oh, that's worse. How could it be better? Like, I like it. I didn't dislike it until you pointed out all these things. Like, don't ask me a question if you're going to follow up with like a dissertation on my answer. Like, it's just a simple yes or no. And my answer is usually no because Ben's always trying to. You guys know I call him sometimes. It's actually really mean. I call him Bozo. Like, sometimes he comes in just wearing like a crazy pair of pants.

48:34I forgot that he has that about him. Whatever happened to black and white and gray? Yeah, he does like a crazy set. A salmon pant. And I'm like, okay, so now, like, instead of being like, no, I don't like it because I say bozo. And it sort of, like, encapsulates the entire thesis. It's nice. It's sort of like a key word. I understand. I forgot that you have those issues. I don't really have stuff like that. Well, you should consider yourself very lucky. Where he comes in and something, like, so crazy. It's like a pair of black joggers. I'm like, they're nice. They're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not controversial.

49:05You know, I'm constantly dodging like controversial outfits in my home. I understand. The fact that Ben leaves the house looking as somewhat normal as he does is just a testament to my, you know, determination and faith. Well, Mazel Tov to Craig and Natalie. Yes, this is a nice, she's very pretty. She's like an influencer swirly. She's dated, you know, big time football players. So it's only right that Craig is next for her. And like, I don't know a lot about her, but she does seem like she'd be willing to move. yeah she seems open and ready for marriage and like ready for reality tv because anyone who's an influencer and a model like is ready for reality it's open and it's good for their careers and he had to date someone like not different but in a different sphere like he couldn't really date someone who was already in reality tv or podcasting like he needed to you know swim in a different pond yeah and that makes it sound like he became gay but you know what i meant like he needed to you know pillage another village if you will yeah and i think he did a good job but now she can come back to his pond i think she'll swim fine yes because page i feel like is also on her way out of that pond she's like she's in a stream downwind yeah she's going downstream yeah i like this analogy i agree are you ready for our next story four four yeah megan trainer admits to using weight loss medication after her shocking transformation.

50:31Meghan Trainor admitted to using weight loss medication to slim down after her dramatic transformation. It's not that shocking. It's or dramatic. I feel like. Well, when you look at like the before picture from like a million from when we first met her to now. Yes, it's a dramatic transformation. But like over time. I would say like two years ago, she probably reached like a halfway point. So it's been like and then yes, in the last year. Well, she had it. She has a one year old. Right, right, right. But then in the last year, she definitely like lost, I would say like the last 20 or 30 pounds.

51:03Yeah. So she posted an Instagram, I think celebrating like something, Billboard Women and Music. Yeah. She posted a long caption saying like how she is been on a journey to be the healthiest, strongest version of herself for her kids who are four and one. she said I've worked with a dietician made huge lifestyle changes started exercising with a trainer and yes I use science and support shout out to Manjaro to help me after my second pregnancy and I'm so glad I did because I feel great I feel like this is a great way because she was the name that I texted you last week when we were talking about people who are obviously on these things but haven't mentioned it so I'm not gonna put her on blast like of course like she is she's but the thing about her is like she's on tour she's working so hard like it's clearly not like she's just like sitting on her couch and injecting herself and like you know looking for change like she has changed her entire life she like dances so hard she's constantly active and like I think doing all of that coupled with the shot like the results are amazing she looks amazing she's like a perfect candidate for the for the drug she looks so healthy and I love that she's talking about it in the context of postpartum because that's where I feel like the drug is just the most amazing And seriously, don't don't be like, I wonder if turd is on.

52:15She is. Yeah. Now, having said that, Megan, I feel like it's a part of a group that we were like when we were talking about Remy last week, like Megan became all about that base. Right. She was a face of a movement. She was very body positive. And I really believe that she did love herself at everything. How great for her that she fell in love and and her body changes, but her marriage doesn't. But people, of course, are very critical of her and her use of Ozempic now because she comes from that community. And there's really no good way to leave that community when you have been like a representative for them.

52:49It feels like a betrayal, like from the plus size community, when you were somebody who got attention and, you know, you made it even further in your career because of your songs about your big ass or whatever. um and so as far like she's getting backlash too not nearly as on the scale of like what remy is getting um but it's because like if you have been up until this point like a self-hating fat person and you go on ozempic it's like okay but if you have like put in the work to try and like love yourself which everyone should do what you should hate yourself just because you're fat like you get also by the way spoiler alert you're gonna hate yourself and you're skinny too so true but you'll you get more backlash from the community it's like it's the plus size community is fabulous but they're they can be extremely toxic like yeah because I think there's really no proper way to leave the community in a way that people don't feel slighted or left behind yeah so I think now and we're seeing this like this is a pattern now so I feel like now when people leave the community they shouldn't even have the expectation that they can do it in a way that people will be happy with like they should just do it and like do it on their own timeline whatever works best for them but like trying to do it in tandem with like feeling like you're not disappointing people is just fruitless there's no right way to do it because you could say from the beginning I'm doing it you could say it at the end you could say it at the middle you can try anything and like people are going to not be happy with you and you have to be happy with yourself so I think like trying to like do it right there's no way that's what I've seen and if I see someone who does it right and everyone's happy with them I'll let you know it's how do you think I did it it was a little messy I think no no now in hindsight in hindsight we're like yeah I killed it at the time like I got a lot of backlash like it was a little messy I think I waited I think I waited maybe like two months too long but like I'll never ever apologize or regret for taking time like for myself to feel comfortable by the time I was ready to share I was like bursting I wasn't even nervous you know I had such a positive experience I wanted to shout it from the rooftops but like I guess you know who did it in a good way Taylor Strecker but she was never like a you know the face of a body positive movement like and I guess the difference like for me is like I was like a very vocally self-hating fat person like I think I would talk openly like yeah sure I'm great but I would prefer to be thin which is like kind of a crazy thing to say yeah you were never like the face of the movement I don't even think you were really so enmeshed in the community no no I wasn't so I just happened to be a fat person community because you weren't yeah there and we're in our we're not in that we're in our community so like we're just have the toasters we're happy for you if you are happy right right that's why I really like my community I'm not looking to join others yeah there are other communities that like you can go to but we've created our own where they just want to see us happy and that's why you didn't have that experience so in regards to megan trainer she looks great her announcement is great there's backlash like who fucking cares like she's is she able to be like the best version of herself as a mom as a performer like great yeah to me like i feel like her whole journey is so emblematic of like the amazing things that the drug can do coupled with hard work and lifestyle lifestyle changes getting your mind right and I feel like her life is just so whole and so if people have issues with this and then also telling us like she's telling us now she's not making a big deal about it she's just like throwing it in if people have issues with this rollout like that's problematic to me because I think this is a part of you roll out I agree and I think that um you can tell somebody it was obvious because if I knew right you can tell when people take the drug and just sort of like let the drug work on them right like and I think that's probably what I did for like the first half of I did it for a year the first like six months I just like let the drug do its thing I didn't really change anything about my life I didn't work out it didn't change the things that I was eating I was just eating about half of what I was eating because that's what the drug does and so you know no matter what you're gonna lose weight and then halfway through I was like okay now let's do that but also try a little bit and I started like making better choices and working out um so much so that by the time that six months went by I felt like I could do it without the drug and so I I relate to Megan on that level and I think you're 100 % right like that's I think what a doctor would say is like the best way to do it yeah so mazel tov megan mazel tov megan so jealous so jealous now i'm saying megan i need josh peck to record megan for me so i can hit a button when i want to do the megan okay you can also find it on youtube he did it like a thousand times when he was 16 but what's the point of having a personal relationship with him if i can't ask for things Like, you know that button that we were using in the hotel where you record something?

57:21Yeah. And then you hit it? I'm going to send him one. Ask him to do it. And send it back. And send it back. Yeah. Bank. With a prepaid label. Love that. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Am I? No. It's a little more. No, I'm not. No, you are. You are. You are ready. Oh, I am. It's just like some more small mazel news, which is that Jennifer Lawrence has welcomed her second child with her husband. Yeah, she gave birth. I don't know why I like forgot she was pregnant. And I don't know if I thought she already gave birth or I like she never got. I thought she was like more in line with your timeline.

57:54So now like she's left the group chat. I thought she was more in line with like Margot Robbie who gave birth like six months ago. Oh, well, she has welcomed her second baby with her husband. They also have a three-year-old named Cy Kookie, like the name of our horse. I know. I'm curious what her kid's name is going to be. No, it's Kookie Milroni. But this People Magazine article says Kookie. Spelled it wrong? Says Kookie. That's funny. He is C-O-O-K-E. So they added the I? They added the I. Just muscle memory, you know? Totally. Do I know? And they already have a three-year-old name, Psy. I wonder what the name is going to be.

58:30I feel like Otis. That's a real, she's such an Otis. I actually was thinking like, oh, her first is named Otis, right? And then I saw it was Psy. So now I'm saying, okay, her second will be Otis. What do you think? Oh, I don't know. That's a really good guess. She definitely does like old, like. I don't know. She's so like different. And his name being Cook like just kind of confuses the whole thing. Otis Moroney. Just give us a guess. It makes it more interesting. I think maybe she would do a letter C. Okay. Because Cy and Cook. So Cogers. It's a little too common. I know it's like creeping up on the top 10.

59:08Like Clyde, even though that's too similar to Cy. It is. Cleo. oh why do we think she's having a boy oh i don't know i guess it could be a girl i guess it's a 50 50 chance i don't know i just feel like it's a boy yeah she has boy mom energy and i just feel like people are having boys right now people are having boys that's a very um like not a universal thought like because i saw a tiktok someone was like is everybody having boys now like who are they gonna procreate with like there are no shannon's daughter the comments were like no everyone I know is having a girl so it's just like it's a unique okay it's just unique to us but yes like everyone I know personally right now is having a boy it's so crazy except for Shannon except for Shannon that's really crazy so it seems like all of like my god-willing sons and his friends are going to be like pining for Shannon's daughter daughter daughter which they would be even if there were a million girls in the world what's your favorite John Mayer song Mine's probably fathers be good to your daughters.

1:00:12That's a good one. Yeah, I think so. It's really beautiful. What was the story? Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, right. I feel like she'll announce it in, you know, a really like in six months in a pargy way. Like she announced her pregnancy like very nonchalantly in like a random Vogue interview. She doesn't have social media. So I don't know when the hell we're going to find out what the baby's name is. Did I tell you that I got a video made of like the baby naming lady on TikTok? She did one for me. Yeah, and it was like no bueno, right? It wasn't any names that like I liked or even would consider. But I was honored to have been included.

1:00:47And it was a lot of names, right? Right, so I guess there's different categories. Sorry, throwing the book at you is not helpful. Sorry to this lady. I don't know which one it was. Yeah, don't be such a hater. Oh my God, she loves the toast. No, no, Queen, I love what you do. But I'm just going to like be honest, which is that like give her five, give her a short list. Like there was 45 names there. So there's different like categories of names. They have like, they have different names. for the categories I forget. It's like, you know, East, West, of course, biblical. Classic. Yeah, right, right, right.

1:01:14Modern. So she did the four categories and like six names in each, which I don't think she was doing predictions. She was kind of offering me, she does consultations. I understand. So I didn't love any of them, even though like they were throwing around Sam Soffer, which like I kind of liked. Like Samuel Soffer, it's nice. Or Samson. Or Samson, yeah. I like Samson. but I just felt honored. Like not me getting baby name predictions. Like am I Jennifer Lawrence? That's like really a celebrity move. Correct. Or like a big time influencer. Huge. Like an influencer mentor. No, I wouldn't say that. The show is so far from over because we have dear toasters, our weekly advice segment, which is brought to you by booking.com.

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1:02:31We haven't made a lot of progress. We started this morning, but we're going to get somewhere soon. Spring also marks the beginning of baseball season, which we couldn't be more excited about, and Booking.com is the official accommodation partner of the MLB. So when we go to a baseball game, one of the best parts is that the whole stadium sings a song that we all know and we all love, and we have created an extra special version for you today. So this might sound a little bit familiar, but let me know what you think of my tune. Jack's ready? Take me out to the Hamptons. Take me out to the beach.

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1:03:57it's a fabulous opportunity. Booking that. Yeah. So, um, dear toasters, I'm sure you guys are familiar. It's our weekly advice segment. Every Tuesday, Jackie and I help out three swirlies in need who have written into us, um, about things going on in their lives. And we're just going to do our best to help. So if you ever find yourself in a pickle, you can email us, dear toasters at gmail.com. We'll do our best to get back to you. And you can also head over to our website, the toast podcast.com. There's a little submission box. When you scroll down, both means of communication are completely anonymous.

1:04:27Don't worry, we'll never like blow your shit up. All right, first up, a little corporate drama. Hey, Swirlies, I'm running in with a professional dilemma. I plan events and dinners for my company. And we had an event last night, which was a seated dinner for 35 people. I have a coworker who is 24 and he's like the office drunk. His name is Kyle. I don't think that's his real name, don't worry. Well, I look over during dinner and I see Kyle and what looks like him getting his steak sent back because it wasn't cooked the way he likes it. not once, not twice, but he sent it back three times. He was being rude to the wait staff and the chef all while a speech was being given.

1:05:02So obviously I was giving him like eye daggers and telling him to stop. After dinner, the man comes looking for me and he's getting really loud right off the bat. I pulled a Craig Conover and I said, Kyle, let's talk tomorrow. And boy, oh boy, he didn't like that. He proceeds to yell at me until I just walked away. So do I let this go? Do I have a chat with my boss about it? Because bitch, you're not gonna talk to me like that and you're not gonna treat service workers like that on my company credit card. Love ya, bye. Honestly, like we have to remember this is a professional environment because if this is like your friend, I have a list of things.

1:05:27There are procedures in place for this, no? Right. So like you don't need to worry about like snitching. This is literally the job. And he is drunk at a company event. He is berating people at a company event and then berating you at a company event. That's like four HR violations. Just take it, you know, to the proper route. Right up the flagpole. Channel. Yeah. I think there are certain scenarios where like being a snitch is okay. no but like it's not snitchery if it's hr like what other function do they serve other than to police workplace behavior because like these aren't your friends you can't say what you want like this is why there is hr yeah and i feel like when i look at this is like from kyle's pov like he's 24 um and yeah maybe at 24 like i thought it was okay to like get drunk at like you these are lessons he needs to be you're doing him a favor because he needs to be taught the hard way like You cannot get drunk at a work dinner.

1:06:19Yeah. No, it's something that he needs to learn. And you're going to help him learn that lesson. How kind of you. But it's true. Like you have bad experiences when you're younger and they shape you to be a professional and to be like a, you learn from experience. And then sometimes you meet people who like never got those lessons and they're like 40 years old acting like animals. So you're actually doing this man an enormous service by ratting on him. Yeah. No, actually, like this will better him as a person. That's not why you're doing it because it's the right thing to do. But that's just a bonus.

1:06:49No, and this is not your problem. Your job is to plan events, not to sit down with 24-year-olds and do therapy. It's seriously not your problem. Yeah. I'm sorry that that happened to you. Hey, Swirlies. We have a message. We have a Dear Toaster from one of my chostadas, and I wanted to obviously serve my community. Hey, Swirlies. Let's get down to business. I come from a Hispanic background, and my husband and I live on the same property as my parents. We live in different houses but on the same lot. My parents help us out quite a bit with our toddlers. I also cook on a regular basis. So when I have extra, I like to share with my parents.

1:07:22My husband recently decided that this bothers him. He asked me to stop offering it to them all the time. The only problem is that my cooking is so top tier. Sometimes my parents will ask me if there's food or if I'll cook or to share with them. What am I supposed to do? Say no to their face? There's really no escaping it when they're literally our neighbors. Sincerely, a tostada that is stuck between her parents and her husband. Your husband's so wrong for this. He's so wrong. And you could just be like, no, I made this for them. Like I would have made less, but I'm cooking more because I'm cooking for them too.

1:07:48Like remind him of everything that they do. Sometimes you just need like a knock over the head. First of all, like it's a nice thing to do for someone who is helping you out with your kids, right? You're not paying them. You're saving money. So that's one reason why it's a nice thing to do. Two, they're your fucking parents. Yeah. it's like if I like sometimes I'll ask Olivia like do you have extra food I'm no and she literally like will come over with a ziploc yeah and vice versa like when I have something that I made that's really good and I have extra I'm like you gotta try this it's like a normal happy thing to do if my husband was like stop giving our leftovers to Olivia well actually I'd just be like oh because you want them for yourself because you love my cooking so much that's not what this man's saying it's the nice thing to do your mom didn't get a chance to cook because she was busy watching your toddlers like just make sure to rub his face in it no I don't know and I'm also getting the vibe like if you live on their property they maybe also help you out financially like yeah and so because even it sounds like this is could also just be like your neighbor and you're bringing food over to your neighbors which is so nice anyone who has a problem with that is weird but the fact that the neighbor is your parents who help you out with your toddlers and i think also financially like what is your fucking problem yeah don't accept help if you can't then reciprocate those are the worst fucking types of people yeah and then it puts you in a bad spot this is every night it's not like you're doing it too much it's like no every single night i'm making dinner and I'm making for them too because I'm making for my entire family which includes and you're the one who's putting in all the work if it but were to bother anyone it would bother you the only thing reason I can think of is because like he wants the leftovers the next day so that's interesting but I feel like if that were the case there's such an easy solve you make even more and then there's leftovers and a gift for your parents if that's not it that's the case to this toaster if that is the case because he wants to eat it make more make more but I love that that's not it jobs no we're giving her jobs we're also giving the schmuck the benefit of the doubt i'm telling you that ain't it he's like protective like a territorial that's the word like my wife like fuck off go buy your own house and get your own babysitter then yeah well literally i'm mad it's actually really bothers me i'm mad for you i don't think you need to leave him and i don't think he's gay but he could be possible maybe extra food to give it to his lover yeah or he's just like in a particularly bad mood because he's hiding this big secret and so he's eating his feelings it's a theory albeit a far-fetched one i don't think i think you're safe this time but um it sounds like your husband actually just needs to be like slapped he needs like a knock over the head yeah like to be hit with over the head with the truth yeah no i didn't mean like physical violence i would never like a metaphorical ass whipping yeah maybe just play this episode for him i don't think we've been harsh enough and i think only you can do it from your own mouth because you know.

1:10:31Are you talking to me? No, no, you toaster, tostada. Like, because you know, you have all the examples of what they do and how he benefits and you can feed them. Get in there, get that finger in there too. Also, if I know my tostadas community, like your parents are beacons in your family. Like you give them the utmost respect. You would give them the shirt off your back. You feed them, you clothe them, you bathe them. Like there's nothing you wouldn't do. I mean, everybody respects their parents, of course. Like certain cultures. Certain cultures respect their elders more, yeah. Even more. and the tostadas actually and I'm being dead serious are very similar to the Jewish community where it's like above all else parents parents parents so if he doesn't get that hola adios oh thank you hola hola to you too I got confused I was thinking of like aloha and shalom which are both hello and goodbye in their respective languages like it reminds me of that Miss Congeniality when she's like trying to make a joke.

1:11:30Do you think people in Hawaii like hang up the phone and they're like, hello? Whatever. I got confused. Sorry. We'll just cut that out. That was so embarrassing. Okay. Third and final. I'm going to give you an option. It was an explosive mistake. No, actually, I'm not going to give you an option. Oh, this is funny. Okay. The teacher community needs us. I'm so glad we're all past that Reese Witherspoon thing. Hey, girlies, girlies. I'm in need of some advice. What is Witherspoon thing? do you remember when the teacher community came for me with the reese witherspoon draper james thing oh yeah let's let's take a trip down memory lane we had a story like three years ago draper james which is like five years ago covid draper james which is reese witherspoon's like dress company they had found themselves in hot water because they posted like a uh sweepstakes almost basically being like we're giving out a free dress to a teacher free dresses to teachers And I think it was like in the fine print, like the first 100 teachers who signed up got free dresses.

1:12:25It was like a nice thing. But of course, like thousands of teachers wanted free dresses and most of them didn't get it. And so the teachers like came for Draper Dreams being like, you're evil. They were like literally were canceling Reese and her company. And I remember on the toast, I was like, well, first of all, she's doing something nice. And second of all, like you guys misunderstood the fine print. Like it's literally not her fault. And then she had to like go, oh, to make it right, she donated like 100 ,000 dresses. And it's like you're exploiting the situation. Like it was not. And I didn't take the teacher's side.

1:12:53Oh my God, I got so much shit. I stand by what I said.

1:13:01Are you not speaking because you don't want to make yourself a target of the teacher community? 1 ,000 % while operating on like not a lot of facts from this story. Because whatever happened here. It's an old story. I blocked it out mentally. And I don't want to go back. Oh, that's so funny. You don't remember the great Draper dream saga? Like it is familiar, but it's not up there on like my great list of sagas. Oh, oh, it's a smaller one for me, but I always remember it. Because I love the teacher community, but I wouldn't do anything differently. Like what does Draper James owe the teachers?

1:13:31Like they were doing something nice. How would you rank it in the list of sagas? Like you mean on a scale of one to ten, how bad was it? No, like in all of our sagas, you don't have to like. Oh. But where would. Let's say there's like, there's probably like 15 sagas. I would say it's like number two or three oh no sorry like 12 or 13 like at the bottom whatever we should make a list privately privately okay so all's that to say all's that to say the teachers need us hey girly swirlies I'm in need of some advice on how I can unsee something I have a very p-jom husband who I find really attractive I'm a middle school teacher and I have our wedding picture as my phone background recently the kids have started to joke about my husband having a big forehead and a receding hairline.

1:14:17While that is a little true, it's never been something that bothered me until now. I can't stop thinking about it. Him balding, staring at his forehead all the time. I've even gone as far as joking about us flying to Turkey for a hair transplant and he doesn't think it's funny. How do I unsee this or get it out of my head? I know these annoying kids are 14 and I shouldn't let that affect me, but maybe they have a point, LOL. Thanks for helping. Oh my God. I always think about how like I wouldn't want to be a teacher because like I would not be good. I have like bad patients. But you also forget that like, especially at this age, kids can be particularly cruel and like honest and um I don't know if I personally could handle it honestly like the bullying yeah I think it's like a little crazy that it's affecting the way you see your husband so much like they're a bunch of snot-nosed kids let's see what they look like at his age like they're so perfect why do they have your phone well that's another thing I think that there's no place for screens in the classroom so maybe if you put it away your problems would go away as a teacher you probably learn these lessons the hard way of like not giving too much of like your personal information and just like details for them to work with because then they'll start like just making jokes and nicknames and like you just have to like starve them of information like you you think of it as like a moment of vulnerability they see it as an opportunity to attack yeah so i think boundaries yeah okay but that doesn't help her in this particular seriously get over it like that's really crazy yeah notice and a bunch of middle schoolers are going to make you notice and you're going to send your husband to turkey over the opinion of some middle schoolers snap out of it teach middle scooters these middle scooters on their scooters exclusive middle scooters snap out of it teach what are you doing yeah step out of it jackie's right like letting these snot no kids like you have a happy marriage how many people can say that yeah and look you're letting these little ugly kids get in the way of that get over it get over it and it's kind of harks back to what we were saying at the beginning of the show like when you really love someone like their quirks or their flaws like are endearing to you and they're not unattractive and so lean into that you love this man this man loves you this man protects you this man provides for you hopefully so what if he's balding like so what some people are bald and they're vin diesel is very hot yeah there's a lot of attractive baldies yeah big far if it doesn't bother him then unfortunately farhead so true now if you were a lesbian women can you know have it worse the beauty standards for women maybe the beauty maybe we could talk about a trip to turkey honestly that's how fucked up the world is but Jackie's right like every man is bald like that's your husband like who cares right does his baldness affect his ability to earn a living then I would be concerned yeah does his baldness affect his ability to rear children like no like he's fine meds true actually minoxidil propicia they can be you know sperm killers Yeah, but you could get it on the meds if that's more important to you than the sperm at the moment, which it might be.

1:17:08Who knows what you guys are. The thing is, it doesn't bother him, so it really, it factually cannot bother you. It's true. Like, if someone wanted to put me on medication for something about my, an aesthetic thing about myself that does not bother me but bothers you, like, I'd say you don't love me. No, of course. Imagine if Zach was, like, hung up on a flaw of yours, which just in general would be fucked up, but a flaw that you've never voiced. Yeah, and even when he brings it up, it's not, it doesn't become my new flaw. I'm just like I don't care oh I don't care say my hair like say like it was thinning and he was like get on like he wants to send me to turkey like I'll send you to I'm trying to think of like an equivalent like wait okay like say he wants to put you on no zempic no weight can like weight is fluid you're like you're not born with a specific weight you're born with a certain amount of hair follicles like that's true so maybe like teeth maybe teeth okay teeth like Ben was like oh would you ever like want to get veneers like my teeth don't bother me but they're not perfect agreed same i would be like no i would be like what the fuck is your problem i would actually be really offended i would be really yeah and i say who needs the veneers now yeah i say we only have one appointment you should take it you gotta let this go you're letting like the immaturity and like the the way kids can be mean you're letting it penetrate you and as a teacher i feel like that's where you have to draw the line it's true you can't you're supposed to be influencing them not the other way you can't live your life based on what the students are gonna think fuck them students honestly that's like why i can't be a teacher the way i would like really have a hard time like not telling like a particularly annoying kid to fuck off yeah unless there's schools where that's acceptable maybe i would thrive there it's like bad teacher yeah i would just be like you're ugly like you have other problems to worry about like don't no seriously work on yourself because you're gonna need a lot of help in this world as an ugly person like i would seriously sometimes kids need to be spoken to like in a real way that's literally the plot of bad teacher which is why it's shocking you don't like it more i it's not that i don't like it i like i don't remember it i wasn't impacted by it but if i remember correctly she was like more so a bad teacher because she herself was like hung over like it wasn't i would do my job she didn't do her job like i would do my job i would show up for class and then when people like weren't listening i would say but you're ugly like why aren't you listening she does start to do her job because of the prize money that she's after right right the test results yeah um so she does get it together while also ruling with an iron fist yeah i would just be in it for the sweet treats i feel like the teacher's lounge is always filled with like parents dropping off cupcakes and stuff of course but there are easier ways to get cookies like in this world there's a bakery across the street but i used to think that way too i was like when i would see my teacher eating something i'd be like i'm gonna be a teacher one day and that's gonna be me just so i can eat but instead i became an adult and i can just go to the bakery Which is also good.

1:19:55But there's something nice about like a Tupperware is being brought in. There's something nice about eating in front of people. And it's all yours. Not only that. Like, yes, we could go across the street and get a cookie. But like, we also then have to go to work. So if the work could just have the cookie, two birds. It's very different. And also when it's unexpected, you know. Like, ooh, donuts today. It's so thoughtful. I feel like there's always donuts in school. There is always donuts. We could also become cops if we're looking for donuts. like if you work in a corporate there's always donuts it's so crazy it's like am i gonna have a donut today again that's a crazy way to live i know and what's a crazy way to live is the way we live where nobody brings donuts to our places of work nobody and at the end of the year we get holiday gift baskets sent to us by us from us so we know what's in them so you don't have the element of surprise and they are really good but they are it's not the same when you send them to Those pargy chocolate covered pretzels.

1:20:49That was a real treat. Yeah, I guess. There weren't enough in there, but it was good. I feel like there were not enough in there. That was your toasters, you guys. A Nalafi for you today. Where are we at? An hour 20. Na-Coffi. Nice Kojo one for you. Why? Why not? No, like what does that mean, a nice Kojo one for you? for you. I just called you N 'Koffi. Oh, oh, oh. Thanks, Najafi. I get it. See, it's fun. I am having fun. Guys, thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know. Yeah, you. Every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

1:21:32So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We are, yes, we can confirm, we are also available as a podcast anywhere podcast we found. That's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, I already cast box all the places wherever you listen to podcasts. find us a toast. Leave a five star review. Come on, do it. You know you wanna. About how beautiful, stunning and wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.