In Lieu of Flowers, Send Cameos: Tuesday, March 25th, 2025

31:21Well, are they saying it's 2.8 in unpaid taxes? Some of that is like penalties and fines and interest from the last... Tax lien. What's that? I don't know what a lien is. I actually don't know. Hold on. Let me Google that. It's actually a good question. Because, yeah, you're right. It would indicate like high earning... But like if we're in the millions, like you have to make millions to owe millions. A tax lien is a legal claim by the government against a property where the owner fails to pay taxes owed. It can apply to real estate, personal property or financial assets. A tax lien does not immediately result in the government seizing the property, but it gives them the right to do so if the debt remains unpaid.

31:55So it's not really clear what it's from. It's just a debt to the government. It could be property tax or income tax. It could be all sorts of tax. I know they can put a lien on your house, but I don't know what that necessarily means. Is it a tax lien on your house? Tell me what a tax lien is as if I'm an idiot.

32:18All right. By the way, thank you. Imagine you owe the government money because you didn't pay your taxes. Instead of just letting it slide, the government puts a big red flag on something you own, like your house or your car, saying you can't sell or refinance this until you pay it back. Pay us back. That's a tax lien. It's their way of making sure that they get their money. If you don't pay up, they might eventually take your stuff or let someone else buy the right to collect from you. Got it. Okay. So he didn't pay taxes and they've put a tax lien on. Whatever. Did they say what it was? They didn't say.

32:46Got it. Okay. So just on themselves. Yourselves. But so anyways, like, of course, pay your taxes, Louie. But you've got to make millions to owe millions. So he's obviously making money. But just pay your taxes. And it also feels like they don't have like a proper financial advisor. Like this, I feel like Teresa's could have been the sort of situation where she underpaid, like she meant to pay your taxes. At the same time as he, as him. She's probably using his person who sucks. I think that you're like simplifying it a little too much. Like it's a little idealistic. I'm simplifying Teresa's. I don't know how you accidentally don't pay$2.8 million in taxes.

33:22I'm simplifying Teresa's to say like it could have been an accounting era because she uses his accountants because she's an insane person who still trusts her husband even though there's numerous red flags yeah she's uh yeah yeah that's what i'm saying i just saw this and like i didn't even feel bad for her like the whole i'm like are you fucking kidding me no it's so crazy grow up yeah get a different business manager keep maybe separate from louise i just know she's using louise no or she's using the same guy because when she that guy james when she was going to prison they They had like this lawyer slash publicist slash assistant who does everything for them.

34:02And he was there putting her in prison. And there when she got out, he would pick her up, drive her to Joe. And I feel like he is still actively involved in their finances. And somehow this is his fault. But she didn't have tax issues since the time she left Joe Giudice to the time she married Louie. So like when she was going. Right when you get out of prison, you're always going to behave, you know. But a couple of years later. So you're, but then you're like assigning malice to her. No, I'm not. I'm not. No, you're right. I don't think that she knows any better, but at some point, like a 50 year old mother of four, like I do, I do expect more from you.

34:36Yeah. Hopefully she could pay this off swiftly. You just don't want this sort of stuff paving over your head and hopefully he could pay it off even though he didn't pay off 160 K in December. So it doesn't bode well for the 2.8. Right. But this does bode well for the Real Housewives of New York, a Jersey, excuse me. in terms of plot lines because this is interesting yeah well they were supposed to according to that one rumor we both saw right judice lorellas were going to get their own show which is not as interesting like when you have a tax drama like i need the other women like watching a bunch of crazy people be crazy like no you need the balance of normalcy no not only that like if you're if you have your own show and you're going through this big like tax scandal who's around to challenge you on that like we just have to believe you paid yeah right like oh louie let's write the check like i need i need the margaret josephs of the world to to air the dirty laundry yeah she'll be on the new jersey courts website seeing if the case is still open they say she's actually rumored to be on the upcoming season of traitors they're casting it right now some other names floating around were tiffany pollard fab margaret josephs dorinda medley should be dorinda wasn't she just on it Yes, they say she might be on it again.

35:48Please, no. I was thinking about watching the next season. No, I know. Let me tell you who else I saw. It's all like rumored to be, and it was like Twitter. What shows are we watching? I was thinking someone should be on it. White Lotus? No, no, no. Someone from like Real Housewives. Oh, Mary Cosby, NeNe Leakes, Margaret Josephs, and Ava Marcel will reportedly be a part of Trader's season four. And what about from the young shows like Summer House, Southern Charm? Those that was just the one rumor that that came. Sheena should be on traitors. That's who I was thinking. Give it to Sheena. Yeah.

36:23I think she'll be terrible at the game, even though I don't know what the game is. Yeah. But maybe she'll be like so bad that like it actually results, you know, when people think you're bluffing, but you're actually right. I don't know what you're doing. Right. I feel like she deserves it. Bravo is definitely ripe with people who would do well on that show, even though they try to not only do Bravo, they do like CBS shows. And who the fart is Dylan Efron? Zach Efron's brother. But like, what else has he done? The show's not filled with people's brothers. You know, he was born from the same womb as Zach.

36:57That's it? No, I believe, you know, he had like a career before that of like, you know, smaller projects. And I just want to say, like, I'm enjoying everything that he's doing. Spoiler alert, one Traders along with 10 other people. And he's been doing like a lot of press. And like, I think he's like so cute and hysterical and I enjoy him. But like, before Traders, who is he other than Zac Efron's brother? Who was Dylan Efron in this world before that? No, I need someone to tell me. I feel like maybe he was on Claims of Fame or something, you know, like that Jonas Brothers show. So again, Zac Efron's brother.

37:34I'm just going to Google it. Like, I feel like maybe he's like an... What did Dylan Efron do before Traders? he's an influencer, producer, and production coordinator. Okay, so he's Zac Efron's brother. He worked as a producer on American Sniper, Live by Night, The Accountant, and Ready Player One. In addition to his behind the scenes work, he ventured into content creation and producing. Okay, so yeah, he is like an influencer. Yeah, so as we thought, like he was like a classic celebrity sibling. Hold on, did Dylan Efron date Stella Hudgens? That's a question here. No way. That would be so cute if they dated while they dated.

38:13It's too idealistic. It won't let me click it. We'll never know. Hangs in the balance. Our next story, someone else's something will make sense in a second. Vittoria Chirretti, girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio, does not like being called girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio. So Vittoria, hold the C, Chirretti, hates being labeled as Leo's girlfriend. She gave an interview to Vogue France and said, as soon as you're in a relationship with someone who has a larger following than you, you become girlfriend of or boyfriend of, for that matter. And that can be extremely annoying, she said. Suddenly, people are talking about you as so-and-so's girlfriend who is so-and-so's ex.

38:56She said, so it's not nice to think that you can't love whoever you want because of the labels people need to stick on you. She also spoke candidly about being in a relationship with Leo. She said, if you know you love each other, then there's no reason to be alarmed because love protects and gives confidence

39:16okay like i just i can't imagine a world where like we actually couldn't call someone who's dating like leonardo dicaprio where we couldn't mention that like that's leo's girlfriend like it's just like factually germane to the story i don't even have a thought on like what she said like i don't care like oh she's like desperate to be a victim oh my god yeah because the way she you were just reading that it sounded like it was coming from somebody who's been like deeply marginalized like you're literally a model on the cover of vogue and your boyfriend's leonardo dicaprio i don't want to hear about your problems and to be honest i have officially like post cami marone i have stopped caring about leonardo dicaprio's personal life his romantic life the girls that he dates like to me she was kind of the end-all be-all he he got away with a lot up until then but then it's like you know what she was kind of perfect and if they were going to work out great after that like I actually don't give a fuck but I also just feel like anyone who and well this is like a separate thing of just about like Leo and like you know his age cap and that he never wants to get married he never wants to settle down like at this point anyone who enters into a relationship with him like when he breaks up with you for turning 26 we're not going to feel sorry because like that's what like that it's so clear she's almost like preempting us to feel sorry for her in this article and I just want to say like in no world will I ever feel bad for you but I just I also want to say I remember when we watched Victoria's Secret fashion show she was someone who I saw and I didn't know who she was and I thought she was so fantastic and then I was like Victoria and then we figured out that she's his new girlfriend and so I didn't notice her outside of being Leo's girlfriend okay that's great but now you're also like obviously girlfriend like I don't think oh it was she has she kind of has a chip she does have a chip which is i'm finding annoying maybe other people find it annoying when we have a chip but like she's a chip on her shoulder and i don't know maybe it's just like the classic trope of like models like wanting to be under like we don't feel bad for you you're a model you're in vogue you date leonardo dicaprio try as you may to sound like a victim in your in your interview like we don't care yeah imagine how dylan efron feels Imagine how I feel, okay?

41:26Like always being my sister, you mean? Oh, that's what you were saying. Imagine how Dylan Efron feels. Yeah, of course. Literally, we struggled to identify him as anything other than Zac Efron's brother. And look, he's enjoying his life. And that's not a joke for him. Yeah, he seems happy and fulfilled. Yeah, like get over it. It's not a terrible thing. At least you're known, okay? Like some of us would kill for to be known as something. To be in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yeah. No, and I'm sorry. you don't get all the way to Vogue by being someone's girlfriend. Like, maybe it helps, but, like, she sounds kind of insecure.

41:59Like, girl, you're on the cover of Vogue, France, which is, like, a good one. Sometimes they make up, like, Vogues in random countries. Be like, I'm on the cover of Vogue, Timbuktu. Okay. Do you know what I mean? But, like, certain Vogues are really, like, Vogue, France, British Vogue. Like, they carry a lot of weight. What's the one that anyone can buy? that like it's like I feel like it's been on like reality show where someone's like I'm on the cover of oh I think in Miami Vogue cover you because it's like if you're on it like anyone can just buy it okay let's hear I'm on my way hold on I feel like it was in Miami like Larsa Pippen was on the cover of it I feel like I know what it is but I don't want to say it unless I know it's right okay wait one second I'm having a hard time like Vogue cover let me search Larsa yeah I was to say let me test my theory i'm not sure that that's what it was but that's what i feel like it was no she's not been on the cover of oak unfortunately or what was this harper's bazaar oh maybe it's not maybe it's harper's bazaar wait harper's bazaar vietnam yeah oh i wasn't gonna say that but like sure sure sure so if you want to be on the cover of harbour's czar you know sounds like she needs to have a little faith in herself victoria i know she seems like a cool girl this is just not the vibe that i like i feel like this was like a talking point that she worked on with her team and it's like we're gonna be like women empowerment we're not just someone's girlfriend it didn't come off like that it came off a sad sack yeah but i think she won i think she meant for this to be like an empowering moment for women like i'm not just someone's girlfriend i will not just be like you know tied to my partner okay no and you're not like okay like sure but that's also a part of the your story okay okay like whatever she wants you to think i'll think like okay okay are you ready for our next story someone oh yeah number four yeah yeah yeah someone's fiance has been deleted i don't know if you've seen this but the internet's in a tizzy because sydney sweeney has deleted a kissing photo with her fiance jonathan devino and it's actually really weird so in my mind these two are like have been broken up she's feeling breakup rumors from her fiance after she deleted a photo of them kissing from her new year's eve instagram carousel so yeah new feature on instagram is where you could put up a carousel and then instead of deleting the whole thing to take out one photo you can just take out one photo yeah and do they let you add a photo yet that would be cool that is coming for sure but anyways worse than just deleting a picture from her grid maybe it like didn't serve her whatever maybe her the flow is changing she went into her carousel from January and deleted a picture of them kissing.

44:40That's weird. Ma Corre. Did she delete like all traces of him off her social media? No, he's still in. There's like a group photo of him in this carousel, but a picture of them kissing has been deleted. Maybe she was like about to start clearing him from her social and did the first one and then was like, whatever, this is immature. Yeah. Because I don't see a world in which this makes sense otherwise. And of course like this big story here is like Sydney Sweeney deleted kissing boyfriend. Right. But what I want to know is who discovered this. And like what are you doing with your life that you have remembered that the picture is in the carousel.

45:18You went all the way back to check if it's still there. No that's a really good point. And I feel like there's actually no way to know that this is true. That's also true. Well they do have the picture here. Oh it's still. Claudia you want to know who discovered it. Sydney Sweeney Daily. Even if you commit your whole life to making a fan page of someone, I still think this is really crazy to have noticed. I think so too. Okay, but I'm no longer doubting that it's validity. Yeah, the picture is here on Sydney Sweeney fans. I see what Sydney Sweeney fans has done there. And now it's not there. And they must go back every day to check if it's still there.

46:00But I guess if you're on Sydney Sweeney watch and you know that there's rumors, Then you check to see if she's deleting stuff. And it's kind of your job to keep people abreast on that. I'm going to choose to believe that like the reason why she did this was because she was like going to start something and then was like, just forget it, you know? Because some people, there is like a divide. People, what do you think when you break up with like a long-term partner, clearing them from your social media or just like leaving it? It's supposed to be like the timeline of your life. And this is what your life was like for that year.

46:27I think you leave it until your next relationship and then archive it. I don't think you need to break up and then go and start deleting stuff. It's like, for what? I've never had to like do that. I don't know. But I do imagine like it would feel weird to like have a boyfriend all over your page who's not actively your boyfriend anymore. I would focus more on posting fresh new stuff so that the boyfriend moves down. It also is different when you are a public person who people go to your profile to look at. Yes, but also like if you're a regular person, you want to meet someone and you have a boyfriend all over your page, they might think you have a boyfriend.

47:00Of course, yeah. So maybe like archival. like some of the recent just so that like people can see that you're single yeah but I don't think you need to be like removing photos out of like spite or hatred like it's part of the fabric of your life so right as long as you're keeping your profile updated and it's not stopping you from meeting the next person I think it's totally fine to leave some stuff up and this is like kind of you know celebrities are always when they're like starting new eras they're like clearing their social media I feel like they do that one of course like be dramatic but two then they never really have to deal with like old relationship things because they clear.

47:36The celebrities clear their Instagram like once every two years. That's like a relationship timeline. Yeah. I believe these two are broken up. And as you guys know, I'm extremely here for it. Right. So stay tuned. Yeah. For the official announcement. Euphoria is like back allegedly filming. So I think it'd be good for her to dive into a new project, you know? Yeah. Wonder closes. is another one opens are you ready for our fifth and final story if it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you perchance by home chef yes home chef my favorite i know i don't know why i said it like that i'm going to chef makes me feel like a chef at home i do love home chef so meal kits often market themselves as an easy meal prep solution but they really do disappoint with complicated overlong recipes that are not worth your effort but fortunately home chef knows that struggle and they deliver fresh delicious meal kits that respect your time.

48:30So Home Chef delivers fresh ingredients and chef design recipes conveniently to your doorstep to simplify your cooking experience. Now, I feel like I'm coming at this from someone who needs like the most simple version they possibly can. Like it needs to be actual meal kits for dummies. And I have had a lot of success with Home Chef. Not only do they have great recipes, but it's actually idiot proof. If I can do it, even when I mess it up, like it still turns out right, it's actually foolproof. Users of other leading meal kits have actually rated Home Chef number one in quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease.

49:01So whether you prefer classic meal kits with pre-portioned ingredients, quick 30-minute recipes, oven-ready options, microwave meals, they have tons of their menus filled with all different options that you can filter, whether you're cooking for yourself or for your family. They have over 30 options a week, and they serve a variety of dietary needs. It's also economical. Home Chef customers save an average of$86 per month on groceries. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free dessert for life and of course, free shipping on your first box. Go to homechef.com slash toast.

49:30That's homechef.com slash toast for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash toast. You must be an active subscriber to receive the free dessert. Home, C-H-E-F.com slash T-O-A-S-T. Homechef.com slash toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by OpenPhone. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected. And that's why you need OpenPhone, the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications.

50:03It works through an app on your phone or computer, so no more carrying two phones or using a landline. With OpenPhone, you can text, excuse me, your team can share one number and collaborate on customer calls and texts like a shared inbox. That way, any teammate can pick right up where the last person left off, keeping your response time faster than ever and of course, keeping your customers happy. Plus, with AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, you'll be able to automate follow-ups, ensuring you'll never miss a customer interaction ever again. So whether you're a one-person operation drowning in calls or texts, or you have a pretty large team and you just need a better collaboration tool, OpenPhone is truly a no-brainer.

50:37You'll be able to see why over 50 ,000 businesses have trusted OpenPhone to manage their businesses' calls and texts. Open Phone is also offering our listeners a fabulous discount. So if any of this sounds of interest to you, pay attention, please. If you want 20 % off your first six months, go to openphone.com slash toast. That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash toast. Plus, huge bonus is that if you have existing numbers with a different service, Open Phone will port them over for you at no extra charge. So that's openphone.com slash toast for 20 % off your first six months. open phone no missed calls no missed customers thank you turd and phone you're welcome our fifth and final story um things are actually getting worse for jamie king she's speaking out no what's so funny is i see this story nowhere so i'm so glad you're constantly keeping me abreast on it because it's actually devastating and it's something i'm interested in i don't see major coverage of yeah well also i saw last week that her they're reporting her and taylor are not like friends at the moment they haven't been close in a while even though taylor is the godmother so i just i know we were curious but anyway she's speaking out after being forced out of her la pad for owing more than 42 000 in back rent oh no now she doesn't have a place to live yeah so as page six says taylor swift's longtime friend jamie king god they're so annoying the cover photo is a picture of her and taylor swift maybe they worry people don't care enough about jamie king like without the taylor swift connection but like she's an actress maybe like a younger demo only knows her in reference to Taylor.

52:08Like I see her and I think of Heart of Dixie. I think some of our beloved Gen X listeners see her and think of Pearl Harbor. And then our Gen Z listeners. Millennials, white chicks. White chicks. And then our Gen Z listeners see her and think Taylor Swift's friend. Yeah, well, she's broken her silence after being forced out of her LA home for owing more than$42 ,000 in back rent. After her landlord locked her out of the property just days after she lost custody of her two sons, she told us weekly over the weekend, quote, the situation with my landlord was resolved privately. It's disappointing but not surprising to see someone try to exploit this moment for attention.

52:41I'm currently focused on what matters most, my children. Just a week ago, The Sun reported that she was forced out of her L.A. home after accumulating 42K in back rent. Per the documents obtained by Us Weekly, she had been living at the$10 ,145 a month Hollywood Hills pad since April 2023 but had stopped paying rent in January. Her landlord said she was forced to lock, oh, it was a woman. She was forced to, I don't know why, it was just. yeah no and a landlord evicting you gives male energy i thought the same she was forced don't be ashamed she was forced to lock king out of the rental property pending payment claiming that the actress had been maliciously remaining at the residence however jamie's attorney has since denied the allegation saying she had been taking acting jobs to pay off the back rent it's just one of those situations where like you think you've hit rock bottom like you lose custody of your kids and like how could it possibly get worse and look here it is getting worse yeah and clearly like in this moment she's going through it like it's not like right I'm sure things have been ongoing but like you know there's highs and lows and this seems to be a low like she was paying her rent up until January and now she's not paying her rent and she doesn't have custody of her kids but then I also saw an update the other day she posted like a selfie with I think she like had an outing with her kids and she posted like a smiling picture with them I just feel like she's really focused on the wrong things right now like just like taking pictures with your kids sending a statement to us weekly about your rent.

54:03Like, I understand. Like, I care about what other people think, of course. But when you've hit such a low in your life and you've actually lost custody of your kids, the fact that it seems like a priority to manage the press, when this really can and should be handled totally privately, it feels like an odd priority. Yeah, no, get your house in order. Right, and then write a book like everybody else, you know? Yeah, and I'm sure she has, She's been a child actress. Like, I'm sure she's been through a lot. But right now, I agree with you. Like, find a place to live. Like, not the direct statement to Us Weekly.

54:39It's not like it's, you know, the New York Times. Right. Like, focus on spending time with your kids. Ignore us. Right. Like, you have only a set amount of time with your kids. Stop taking selfies. And connect. Yeah. Especially when, like, what's come out is so egregious. Like, no smiling selfies is just going to, like, change what I've read. Right. Right, right, right. A memoir might. Right, later on, once everything has resolved itself. Yeah, but it's not something you could just put a Band-Aid on. No. But things you might be able to put a Band-Aid on are some of our Dear Toaster submissions.

55:13Maybe. Maybe. Every Tuesday, Jackie and I do Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where we read three submissions from Swirlies in Need. They reach out to us through all different stages of life. Marriage, wedding, relationships. You can talk to us about anything. We're really open books. And I think you'll see that today. So thank you to everyone who wrote in in advance for your open openness and your transparency. Oh, and if you want to write in, deartosters at gmail.com is the email address, or you can head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down, little submission box. Both methods of communication are completely anonymous.

55:46Okay. Hey, girly swirlies. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. He's been great. I'm 25. He is 27. He's a wonderful, hardworking man. We've really leaned on each other this past year. One issue. He works in a prison. And I understand this job can be brutal and uncomfortable at times. But he continuously talks about how unfair it is that the pregnant women that work there get lighter duty shifts. Meaning earlier posts in the jail. Like you get to sit at the front desk for your shift. Like you just get like lighter loads. He didn't get an easier shift when he broke his leg. And like this is his Roman Empire.

56:18He keeps saying he'll never understand since I don't. He keeps saying I'll never understand since I don't work there. But it's actually giving me the ick. Makes me never want to have a child with him. if this is how he views breaking your leg and being pregnant at the same time. Is this immaturity he will grow out of or is this a serious red flag that he has no respect for women carrying children? Please help. I'm a concerned, I'm concerned, I'm concerned XO, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies. She's a typo. I'm concerned, period. XO. Oh, no, I'm concerned, period. XO, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies one day.

56:53I understand. So I think it could really easily be either like immature until you go through it or your partner goes through it. You have no idea like what the woman's body goes through. And obviously these female prison guards are just being so amazing in their pregnancies that you don't even realize how much they're going through it. Or it's just like a complete lack of sensitivity. And this is a red flag. I know because obviously like they're getting to sit at the front desk because, you know, being on your feet all day is a tough job. But also, you know, there is a level of risk with being like a prison guard.

57:24and if you're carrying a baby, you want to minimize that risk. So, you know, putting them in solitary with the crazies, like, that's also not good. So the fact that he can't see that, like, it's a little concerning for sure. I don't think he, like, hates pregnant women. He might just be, like, selfish and immature 100%. I need to know more about the relationship. Like, is he generally a selfish person? Is he selfish and immature in other areas? Mm-hmm. That's only something you can really evaluate. I can't believe someone could see a pregnant prison guard and think anything, and, like, want to give them more work.

57:53Yeah, and then like make it about themselves and their broken leg. Yeah. Sounds like a baby. Yeah. So it does really sound like immaturity. It does. However. It's not a good look. No, but I do often think, even like myself, like maybe things I used to think or say about like a pregnant person. I remember actually the first time I ever, ever got like any sort of backlash online before I really had even a platform. I was at a doctor's office and there was like a person like breastfeeding like right in front of me. And I remember tweeting like people who breastfeed in public, like, can you not? Oh my God.

58:28Like the breastfeeding association of America. Like everybody, like I got like so canceled for this dumb tweet. And now like, now that's something I vehemently disagree with. Like whip a titty out, whip a titty out. Like I love it. I want to see more. Oh, in a doctor's office, it's actually a great place to do it. It might not have been a doctor's office. It was like a waiting room for something, maybe a doctor, but I feel like no, regardless. Like that's something I vehemently disagree with now. Like I'm learned and more evolved than that. So it's entirely possible that like you just really don't get these things when it pertains to like motherhood and whatever until you experience it yourself or you know someone who does.

59:00Yeah, I really do feel that way. And I think doubly so for men, even when their partner's going through it, like it takes them a minute to get it. Yes, I actually just read a study that like most men, most partners like really don't connect with the baby in utero. And that's like totally normal not to be like, you know, some men like want to lay on your belly and talk to the baby. And like if they don't, like that's okay. That doesn't make them a bad partner. It's just, it's almost virtually impossible for them to biologically connect. Yeah. Until the baby is earth side. Yeah. Their lives don't change at all until you have a baby.

59:34Yeah. Maybe they got to get you a few extra sodas, but that's not your life changing. I actually remember the conversation I had with Ben when he realized like his life would not have to change at all. When we were like first having the conversations about like starting to try and I was like talking about how I need to get off of Zempik and I need to go to like all these things I needed to do before we could really even start. and he's like okay and like what do I need to do and I was like nothing he was like he was like wait my like I really don't have to do anything different I'm like no yeah and he was like I could see like he didn't want to like rub it in my face he was just like that's great well now there is this initiative I've been seeing a lot of reels in my algorithm of like men getting into the best shape they possibly could before they inseminate you yes yes because a lot of your um health during pregnancy just like how you feel is directly correlated to the health of the sperm and the male the male partner and like the sperm quality is affected by their lifestyle choices and yes it affects your pregnancy but it also could affect your ability to get pregnant so like people are now of course now the movement is like men should spend 10 months getting into the best shape of their lives and then you spend and working hard eating right working out and then you spend 10 months being pregnant so that kind of like balances the scales not at all because They're becoming like slender September, but it's something.

1:00:47I also saw TikTok that I've been thinking a lot about recently. And this girl was like, I feel like we talk about like pretty privilege. We talk about skinny privilege. We talk about like all these different privileges, but we really don't talk about like partner privilege and what that means to like live a life and like build a family with somebody who's like an actual partner. And now, of course, there's partner privilege. Like it's a privilege to have a partner in general as opposed to not having one. But there's also a difference between like having like a partner and a partner who like actually contributes.

1:01:12And helps and is an equal, if not more, load-bearing individual. And so when you're thinking about who you're going to have kids with, it's actually really true. You have to have pretty considerable standards for yourself in terms of what you want your future to look like. So I feel like you're not being dramatic to the girl who's writing in about being concerned about it, but it could be nothing. Yeah. But is it partner privilege? If it's something that you can choose, right, and everyone has the same more or less. Okay, maybe privilege isn't the right word, but I knew what she was saying. No, it is, like, it's an important thing to think about who your partner is.

1:01:46And it will change the quality of your life and your experiences. What do you think about the struggles of the first year of having a baby, right? Like, the difference in A, doing it alone, B, doing it with a partner who sucks, and C, doing it with, like, an equal 50-50, as much as it can be 50-50, a 50-50 husband. Like, it's not even a different, like, it's not even a question how different those three things are. Yeah. And it is a privilege, the third. Yeah. but it's also choices right no it's also something you hopefully can control now of course some people pull the wool over your eyes well yeah that's the most evil yeah so if you feel like this guy in other areas is like not a selfish person this is just him being immature maybe he doesn't know anyone who's had a baby yeah you're okay he could have a past but maybe keep an eye keep an eye out yeah alright next up oh this one was really crazy and weird okay hi Jackie and Claudia lately my husband has gotten very into SPH do you know what that is Jackie no it's small penis humiliation and I don't know how to handle it out of nowhere he started asking me to roast him like we'll be watching tv and he'll randomly go babe tell me it's tiny at first I just ignored it I thought he was joking but he's literally not he wants this he keeps bringing it up yes and now it's all I can think about and here's where it gets worse I think he's gotten in my head because I swear I never thought his penis was small before.

1:03:12He's a little less than five inches hard, which I also thought like always was fine. But now I'm not so sure. The other day he got out of the shower and I saw it. It was like a two inch turtle retreating into its shell. I really just squinted and now I can't unsee it. And honestly, I think I'm feeling it too. Like, is it just me? Do I not feel as full as I used to when we're intimate? Is this some kind of mind trick? Was I blissfully unaware this whole time? I feel like I've just been pilled into a new reality and I don't know how to go back. So now I'm stuck. I do want to give him what he wants, but I don't even know where to start.

1:03:38Do I casually drop comments throughout the day? Do I go full Regina George and roast him? Or do I just start agreeing with him and watch his entire world crumble? Sincerely, a confused but now convinced wife. Well, honestly, it sounds like you guys are a match made in heaven because he wants to be humiliated in being told he has a small penis. And you actually think he has a small penis. So it sounds like you're the only woman who can really give him what he wants. I feel like you need to tell him that you didn't know he had a small penis until he's now making so much of it. Yeah. Okay. I have to be honest.

1:04:05I don't understand like anything about this. Me neither. And I want to say something about penis size. If I may. I know we don't really talk about this, but don't worry, I'm not going to get graphic. I'm sad. I feel like we have like this fixation on like penis size. Now, of course, I'm not talking about like people who are like, you know, born with micro penises or like the opposite. Extremes. You're not talking about the extremes. I'm just talking about like a penis, you know? A penis is what you make it. it's also like the connection and the person and like i know i feel like i'm like i sound like ben has the tiniest penis like that's like i'm making and i'm not i swear to god but i see people like especially like dating people or you sound like someone like he has a big penis so you can't relate to the issues of women with a small penis and you're like that's fine i promise that's not what i'm saying but like i see a lot of people talking about this like on podcasts and influencers who do like dating and sex and relationships and there's this like fixation on penis size where it's like i don't know i feel like it's a little bit of shallow it's almost like how i feel about looks right everybody is good looking if you love them you know yeah and i also feel like if you're monogamous and you're in a relationship with someone for a long time especially if you're married it's not like you're seeing other penises that this one's bigger your reference small compared to it's big like that's just your penis that's the one that you have five inches like uh is that like a definitely have a tape measure five inches is small like do you think this cup is five inches?

1:05:29You're kidding. Oh measure your phone. Okay like how many inches is your phone? Let's get to work ladies. Why the fuck do you have a tape measure? Because we did so many renovations. And I was measuring bringing up my computer. Okay my phone oh my gosh is six. Oh okay so a little bit smaller than your phone. Yeah like Yeah I see I see. if you're measuring from the bottom go up to where the time is on your phone oh like the bottom of the eight of 11 38 yeah like the bottom of your phone again then 11 38 okay i mean that's really small

1:06:12it is but it's not not workable and it's like how big is your vagina well that's the other thing i I feel like there is a penis for every vagina. I completely agree. And if you, like, do you have a tight, small, little vagina? Then it sounds like you guys are a match between heaven. And I just think there are other, like, I don't know, a big penis is, like, so lazy. Again, I really sound like I'm married to somebody with a micropenis. But, like, oh, what, you have a big penis. You don't have to work as hard. Like, I just feel like, let's say your man has a small penis. I feel like people don't talk about the downsides of BDE.

1:06:48like lazy hubris yeah hubris i don't even know what that means but for sure hockey you know but i also mean when it comes to intimacy you don't feel like you have to do anything because you got this big penis yeah a big penis can only do so much somebody with an average size penis like really has to work a little bit harder okay i see that's five that's five that's not that's not great but have back to this girl's issue i feel like my issue is not your problem here no it's sph yeah that's i don't want to kink shame of course that's not they're not kinky they're watching tv i feel like there's something deeper going on with him psychologically that maybe we should explore yeah and it has nothing to do with you and you're kind of letting his psychosis get to you because you're like thinking and feeling and i couldn't do it like if i were you i couldn't do it and all of a sudden i have to be a comedian roasting you coming up with these zingers about your penis like excuse me so you're like i work full time i'm busy going on so you're like you don't need this on your plate unless you were enjoying it no and she's not and that's weird like his this is fine you know it's the sph that's an issue oh i guess i didn't choose the one about drugs do you want to see any other measurements oh what's the standard that they say doesn't everyone say they have eight i feel like the joke i let me ask hold on ask google gemini what's the average size penis in america

1:08:29the average size erect penis in the u.s is five and a half to six inches in length then also you have to consider girth they say four and a half to five inches in girth so our roast of five it was nothing wait you just need to show your man this he has an average size penis sorry to break it she said she said by the way it's under five but so maybe he's like an inch under but still you're just above the average like you're what 40th percentile like sorry you're not special and are people really measuring their penises like i i feel like it's something that you do in like high school yeah you do once and and you know you're oh so like doesn't everyone joke that they have eight though isn't that i guess that's why it's funny because that's like yeah that's like a piece of salami

1:09:13we should teach sex ed we should i would just say to this girl like i wouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with break up with him they're married um our third and final is not the one I thought I chose the drug one maybe I decided not to it's basically this girl like texted her co-worker like asking where she could get some blow and she texted the wrong co-worker and she had like a pit about it and then she texted the right co-worker and the right co-worker was like sorry I don't do that and I just wanted to tell her like no shame like have fun but like if you're texting your co-workers for drugs you're in a bad spot and you're texting two of them right but that's not the one I I guess I did just do it but we're not doing it yeah Hey, Swirlies.

1:09:51My fiance is a p-jom. He's starting to give me the major icks, though. Last time we got into a fight, he slapped himself in the face and said, you're so stupid to himself. Oh, my God. To be clear, this was not done in a joking manner. His face was bright red, and he was dead serious. It was very weird, and it gave me a weird feeling, and I almost want to end it. Help. I just want to say, this is one of the situations where I feel like we're always talking about, like, ick culture. This is not an ick. it is like when you see somebody you know wearing a backpack and it makes them look weird like this is actually alarming behavior um like self-harm uh it's fucking weird you're right to be put off weird now like i it's hard to really end your life and start a new one over like something someone did over two seconds it's a window though into potentially need to like really look at the really like was everything else perfect like I just feel like and he never did this before this feels like something that's like definitely a trauma response yeah I also think people who do this like maybe do other weird concerning things like is there anything else to this girl that comes to mind yeah but I don't I don't know someone I don't know what makes someone do this but I maybe it's like as a little kid they were like abused like and every time they do something wrong they like hit them i don't know so there's something you should bring it up to him if you're having trouble figuring out like what you want to do about it you should be like when you did this the other day like what is that what is that i come from like that really worried oh that's good yeah we could talk about it now like normalize talking to your partner i guess but sometimes somebody does something so weird like you just have to leave there's nothing that needs to be said yeah like i've seen what i needed to see and i need to never see you again Because like this, what this guy did, like, I feel sorry for him.

1:11:38I don't know why that's my, like, because it's not like he went and he hit you. Like, I feel sorry for him. And it's maybe indicative of like a deeper issue. He deserves care. Yeah, he needs like nurturing at this moment, not abandonment. However, you got to look out for number one. But even if you're going to leave him and look out for number one, give him a conversation. like because maybe then he'll realize like oh i have all these things going on i wasn't ready for a relationship i need to work on myself like i have a lot of things that i need to unpack and what are you telling me like that thing you did like it really scared me what is that yeah i think we could just like talk directly don't be judgmental be like that was really weird of you no just be like that don't do what we have done no that's why we do it here yeah get it out get out our judgment so that you can handle it put your best foot forward and just be like i just It made me sad and worried for you.

1:12:31Where does that come from? Why do you do that? I just didn't realize people do this outside of SVU. Do you know what I mean? It's such a thing you do in the interrogation room. It's like stupid. Banging your head against the wall. Yeah. It's not 100%. No, it's self-harm. Yeah. It's like a child's response. Is it? I don't know. You're so stupid. I don't know. No, it's a mental ill thing. No, I'm good. What kind of person? Slut. I don't want to know. Just talk to him. Something therapy can fix. Or like, bada bing, bada boom. Yeah, it seems like a textbook case. For a therapist. This is a job for - But I don't know what the textbook is called, but I know there is a book about it.

1:13:22A hundred percent. Guys, that's our show. Thank you to everybody who wrote into Dear Toasters and everybody who listened to the end of this episode i hope you enjoyed it i hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it and jackie's measuring what her 12 that's insane yeah like i honestly i think i'd rather have a micro penis right yeah because that's pain but the vagina is adjustable i mean that's true yeah so but you want to have a baby every night

1:13:54no thank you guys so much listening to the tosumland morning show we did the fast we should talk about penises more like we're so funny we are so funny like an untapped conversation for us i know if we ever but not too much really like it's no jack and i are like again when it's once in a while but just know if the show ever becomes like overtly sexual all the time it means we've officially run out of things to talk about yeah we're desperate yeah lonely women

1:14:20thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Monday morning show where we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching us on YouTube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found so on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, public video I hear you in a cast box or other places you want to be listening to podcasts on this Toast leave a five star review about how beautiful, stunning and wickedly talented we are. Hope you have an amazing Tuesday and we'll see you tomorrow for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap and a gorgeous Parchi hump day Love ya, bye