It's A ______! : Friday, December 13th, 2024

37:44I mean, it's hard to plead anything other than guilty when there's literally a video of you doing it. Yeah, Morgan Wallen will spend seven days at a DUI Education Center months after he was arrested for throwing a chair from the roof of a Nashville bar. A judge in Nashville sentenced him to one week of incarceration, which will be served at the the DUI education center, as well as two years probation, one for each of his misdemeanor charges for reckless endangerment. And he also must pay a$350 fine. Well, good. And also it's worth noting, his attorney said that Mr. Wallen has cooperated fully with authorities throughout these last eight months, directly communicating and apologizing to all involved.

38:18Mr. Wallen remains committed to making a positive impact through his music and foundation. Just stop throwing chairs, okay? I think this is appropriate. Like, sorry, I think people are probably like, it's crazy. He's not going to jail, first of all, but he is going to have to be away for a whole week. He'll survive. And then he's also on parole for two years, which means you have to behave. If you violate your parole in any way, you would go to jail for five times longer than you would have if you had committed a crime not on parole. It's actually very serious. Now that I just read that book, The Many Lives of Mama Love, parole is not to be fucked with.

38:50So Sandra Bullock, harsher punishments for parole violators, comes to mind here. She does. yeah I think this feel like this you do the crime you do the time yeah I was just having this conversation because I've been begging my friend Margo to read Mike the situation's book because you know I think a lot of people think a lot of things about Mike the situation but if they read his book they would they would understand him more did you read it like if I saw your friend Margo walking down the street like with a bag and you told me there's a book in that bag can you guess what book this woman is reading it would take me five million guesses before I thought she would be reading my situation.

39:28She's a very classy woman. She's like an elegant, refined, she's a lady. But she loves reality TV. And she loves reading. And I've been trying to get her to read it and she's reading it. She loves it. And she was texting me like, it's really so crazy that he went to jail. And it is because he didn't violate the law on purpose, right? Like their intent has to matter when it comes to a crime. He had no idea that he like wasn't paying his taxes. He had hired his brother who knew shit about fuck to do his money and it should have been enough for him to pay it back and maybe do a little community service like him serving time in a real prison was so crazy but it's a part of this I think trend where celebrities really do get a harsher punishment because they like to be made an example out of similar with Teresa Judas if Teresa wasn't famous she was just a housewife she probably wouldn't have went to jail maybe she would have been house arrest or something like and Todd Chrisley even though Todd Chrisley I don't really feel applies because like Todd Chrisley Todd Chrisley really did that stuff and he did it knowingly the wife yeah I don't know about the wife like the scale of what they did wasn't so big that they should be in prison for 14 years like their sentence is crazy but he did do that thing he did break the law knowingly like I feel like Mike the situation didn't and Martha's thing was so stupid she didn't even go to jail for breaking the law she went to jail for lying to the police whatever um and with this Morgan Wallen case what do you think a lay person's sentence would have been for throwing a chair off a roof i think they would have gotten a couple days in the slammer yeah like you think this is appropriate you think that this is more because he's a celebrity less because he's a celebrity maybe like felicity huffman going to jail you know more because he's a celebrity maybe someone else would have gotten away with it he just has like a history of bad behavior that like colors this and it's like you know what it doesn't yeah you need to pay the time um but I don't think it's an over I think like he really could have he could have killed someone it's so true I mean I agree I think it's fair and like it's a small sentence because no one got hurt and it wound up being completely fine but like it's a very dangerous thing to do and like in order to not do stuff like that again like you need to learn your lesson yeah I guess the crazy thing is I think about like Justin Timberlake who was just driving drunk didn't hurt anyone but could have kind of like what you just said and I feel like when you have a DUI like you don't go to jail like when I think of celebrities like they get a mugshot and they get like held for the night and when they get sentenced they don't like go to jail well like Chloe did yeah right then the jail was overcrowding but she was sentenced to jail you do get sentenced to like maybe 30 days up to like something like that not for everyone I think it just depends on the judge and the history of the person we also I don't talk enough that Khloe Kardashian, albeit for literally one afternoon, went to jail.

42:16Yeah. I think Paris Hilton, like what, during that time, like they were sentenced to time in jail, but then like due to overcrowding and bureaucracy, like sometimes it doesn't happen. Yeah. And there is a difference between jail and prison. Jail is like where they hold you. And I learned this in my book. And he's also not going to jail. He's going to a rehabilitation center. Now it's not going to be Betty Ford. It's probably going to be like a tough place to be, not comfortable, not cushy, but it's not jail. No, but I think before you get sentenced, it can take like a year for your case to finally make, to finally get a sentence from the time that you're arrested.

42:50And some people are held without bail and some people are held with bail and they can't pay it. So they go to jail, which is kind of like this holding space till you figure out if you're going to be free, if you're going to go to prison. And I think based on my book, and then also I was actually watching Brooke Scofield talk about this because I think her mom went to prison. Once you get to like a federal prison, especially the women's like low security ones, she was like, they're not what you think. The federal, like the federally funded ones, like they have iPads, they have salons. Like you kind of like, not camp, but it's not what people think.

43:24Jail, where they sort of just hold you for, literally it could be a year. Actually, in the book that I was reading, it was not a cell. It was like this open, like bunk bed room, like kind of like an orphanage. Yeah, book was really good. I feel like everyone should read it. It was called The Many Lives of Mama Love. No, you're definitely moving the needle. It's on my TBR, but the more you talk about it, the more I'm like, oh, I should read it. It reminded me a lot of Mike the Situation's book, which is why it was reminded for me to tell my friend Margot, because she was dealing with like a heroin issue.

43:53Understood. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah, not any legal news. kim kardashian scooted her way into her skims event in sky high heels despite her broken foot so a lot of things happening skims opened a flagship store in new york city like a a major on fifth avenue like where everybody is multi-story flagship that is like reserved for the big party a she's in the same like neighborhood as cartier as dior as prada like she thinks she did that and it's literally a gorgeous store gorgeous store so not only did she reach that level of retail success she went to the opening she looked beautiful she had a broken foot she rode in on a scooter I didn't even know that she had a broken foot that was my first time I didn't know either um but she wasn't gonna let that stop her from her attending her big event or looking really amazing she looked beautiful she looked beautiful and then there was also a dinner to celebrate this momentous occasion and so many swirlies were in attendance like past skims faces adrian bylon adrian bylon cardi b ice spice tate mccray megan trainer just like really everyone came out to support kimberly yeah it's kind of a really big deal like obviously so many celebrities have like successful brands but to really transform your brand to retail but not only retail like fifth avenue it's actually really sick skims is amazing yeah it is kind of a perfect segue into our next sponsor let's hit it well if you don't if you want to finish the story but that's really the story we could as long as we're singing the praises of skims is that our holiday shop perfect so am i wearing my skims bra today i am skims is has carried me through, right?

45:37Like obviously my life, but especially these last couple of, couple of weeks slash months, I've needed a complete overhaul on bras and underwear. And Skims was one of my first spots, especially their bralettes. So the Fitz Everybody Scoop Bralette is my favorite bralette ever. And the Skims Holiday Shop has them. And the Skims Holiday Shop is so cute. They have like some of their bestselling fan favorite items packaged in these super cute boxes. So it makes it really easy for gifts, for stocking stubbers and the festive prints are really going to get you into the holiday spirit. If you're always rushing to package up gifts until the very last minute, the Skims Holiday Shop has taken off some of the pressure.

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46:37So shop Skims Holiday at skims.com, available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Today's episode is also brought to you by Rakuten. The best way to save lots of money this holiday season is because you can stack holiday sales and deals on top of cash back to maximize your savings at over 3 ,500 stores. And stores will be at the highest cashback rates of the year, all the way up to 15 % cashback at some of your favorite brands through the holiday season.

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49:26I don't know, just an idea. They are recommending things like, I don't know, are good. Thank you. Gift guides have like, for me, become so obsolete because nobody is putting any effort into them with the exception of sax.com. They help you find your own holiday vibe, of course. You know, if you want to shop for yourself, something cute for the corporate holiday party, you can find top designer brands like Alice and Olivia, Frame, Prada, Gucci, and more. So if you're looking for gifts that will help you win the holidays, then head to Saks.com for a seamless shopping experience and get ready to be the best gift giver ever and find gifts guaranteed to bring joy.

49:54Let's make this holiday season memorable for you and your loved ones. Thank you, Turdy. You're my loved one. Last toast commercial of the year. Last ad break. Thank you, Code Turt. I don't even know what to say. Damn. Well, our next story, some good news. Let's hear it. Good charitable news. Taylor Swift visited a children's hospital on Thursday night in Kansas City, the Children's Mercy Kansas City Hospital. And she took pictures with a bunch of the patients. She made TikToks. She was talking about Travis, just like really so warm and lovely. I fucking love this woman, let me tell you. And even if she had came in with a photographer and took a million pictures with everyone and posted them on her Instagram and did a press release, I wouldn't even think I people like hate on her and they're like well she look she did charity just for attention the fact that every piece of footage that came out of this was from like a parent filming and a tiktok taylor's team did not release anything she so did not go for that but even if she did like you know those kids would have loved being on her fucking instagram right and even if she did that's better than no charity work at all but the sheer fact that like we know about this because all the parents like seriously the parents hand the parents cared more about Taylor than the kids I was dying every clip I saw I watched a thousand times like let me just tell you she's so special like and and to see her doing it like in Travis's community like just adds but even if she went to any hospital you know she does the children's LA she does all of them but to see it in his community like I actually got choked up I was like no she's such a queen community and it's very much like it's wag behavior that's this is like the wags do a lot of the philanthropy and their beacons in the community like all of the big ones.

51:37Brittany is such a such a big leader in her community. And she's not doing this because she's a wag but like it just it's so she does it we've seen her do it other times as well but like it's doing it in his place of work. It's very beautiful and really I feel like she's really making Kansas City her home. No and I just know like Taylor got home she spent all day with those kids and she got home and like started crying in Travis's arm because it's like a lot to see kids like that and have to be like you know just joy and it's like you don't even know the right thing to say and you know she's from the very early on in her career she's like always really connected with sick kids and Ronan is obviously like a huge and she takes that on she's such an empath you know so I just know she was like really sad yesterday like I just know she like smiles for everyone and then she like got in the car and totally started crying you know yeah yeah it's a lot to like spend all day and a lot of celebrities do this a lot of them do like make a wish there's like that famous video Florence Welsh who's like kids dream it was to sing shake it off with her and it's like so cute it's very heavy like especially for those make a wish ones like yes it's very hard yeah so just a very sweet moment from the lard and she looked so cute yeah I just I just love her and I love that like she stopped working what three days ago she probably flew back two days ago from wherever she was Canada and it's like back to the community yeah back to the kids yeah and I do also love that about her because we were all like that age when we started like loving Taylor Swift but now the majority of her fans are like grown grown women and kids are like always the kind of what's the word i'm looking for kind of always at like the forefront of like the fact that she still does the 22 hat not still that she does the 22 hat when like she's actually not a pop star for six-year-olds anymore she was but she's like always keeping kids top of mind it's like so sweet yeah no she can't wait for the surrogate she protects the children she protects the children she protects the children she like loves kids everybody loves kids no but some people have like a special love of children yes and she does yes the surrogate just makes you wonder no and all the tic tacs like the dancing like it was genuinely it was too fucking much for me it was so sweet yeah everything it makes me cry like I cried 500 times I cried myself to sleep last night because Jackie sent me the cutest fucking video of her kids like and I was just I don't even know why I was crying I was Jackie my pillow was soaking wet Ben was like are you okay it was it was reminding me of when Ben told me that he was playing the piano to Vanessa Carlton and I literally could not stop crying it was the same exact feeling it wasn't it was like kind of sad even though the video wasn't sad like it was just pure it was pure and it was the same thing with Ben's Vanessa Carlton piano like pure you're trying to learn Vanessa Carlton on the piano Jackie I was in fucking consolable like seriously because I was like and I saw the video already I'd seen it earlier that day but then before bed I was like wait Ben you got to see this cute video Jackie sent and he was like it's so cute but like are you okay everything makes me cry that the videos of Taylor and the guy being like he was like it was obviously dad's turn to to be in the hospital mom maybe went to work but mom is the biggest swifty and they didn't get any notice I think Taylor just like showed up one day and the dad's hand is shaking he's like my wife is coming so he's like trying to like stall he's like she's on her she's literally running she's went to the he's like he's not a Taylor like Stan you know he was just like she was she brought everyone copies of her book and he was like maybe you can make it out to my mom but also it's like it's so nice for the parents like what they're going through it's just she's giving back to everyone and then the nurses who took pictures with her was like didn't expect to see Taylor Swift today and you know that like I don't like name a fucking harder job like the coal miners can never being like a pediatric nurse in a hospital like yeah she's such a queen for this like I fucking love her like and I know a lot of celebrities do this it's like actually a very common philanthropic thing to go to children's hospitals which is so sweet yeah Ryan Seacrest is actually like a huge part of that children's LA hospital like I think he's on the board but he literally any celebrity that owes him a favor he makes them go like it's so sweet um so she's not like unique but it's just she did it today so we're talking about it she did it today she did it beautifully and more of this like all celebrities go go to all of them like I feel like the LA one gets a lot Like, go to what in Minnesota?

56:03As Taylor did. Missouri. Kansas. Border. And you're right. This is, like, very, like, sports. Like, the athletes go in their communities. It's a really nice thing. This is, like, one of the really nice things about sports and the NFL. It's, like, they require all their players to, like, do this four or five times a year. Like, the DCC we saw on the show. They're always giving back to the community. They meet with veterans and go to old age homes. And it's really, really nice. So sweet. So sweet. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yes. It's random that this is the fifth and final story of the year because I feel like it should be more like pointed, but I liked it.

56:39Whatever. So Jim Carrey is talking about the potential for a Grinch sequel and what the movie The Grinch means to him and the way that it's been received. And we're also getting a lot of interesting facts about Dr. Seuss and The Grinch. And I live in a very big Grinch house, so maybe I am personally invested, but that movie fucking rocks. No, and there are many different versions of The Grinch. And nobody in all of Oz has ever done it like Jim Carrey. Like it is the greatest comedic acting feat seriously of our time. This is what he said. He said he'd be open to filming of a sequel of the live action How the Grinch Stole Christmas but with a caveat.

57:19So he said playing his character required wearing copious amounts of makeup and being covered head to toe in green faux fur and heavy prosthetics. In an interview with Comic Book he said he'd do another film if we could figure out the Grinch. The thing about it is on the day, I do that with a ton of makeup and can hardly breathe. And it was incredibly excruciating process. The children were in my mind all the time. It's for the kids. It's for the kids. It's for the kids. And now with motion capture and things like that, I could be free to do other things. Anything is possible in this world. Now, as comic book noted, Carrie would be one of only a select few actors who would ever be able to portray the Grinch due to strict guidelines set by the estate of Dr.

58:02Seuss, who died in 1991. Per the estate, the actor cast as the Grinch had to be of a very particular height and frame. In a letter outlining examples of actors who would fit the characteristics, Carrie, along with Jack Nicholson, Robin Williams, and Dustin Hoffman, were mentioned. Oh, great. 50 % dead. Right, but they were just giving examples of the height and height. However, somehow, Matthew Morrison passed Muster. okay well let me say this because i'm actually not surprised to hear jim carrey talking about this because a video a interview he did somewhat recently went viral because he's in sonic the hedgehog movie and he's making headlines because he's doing press for his new movie sonic the hedgehog and this is like one of the greatest actors seriously of our time one of the greatest comedic minds of our time and he don't leave his house like he doesn't really work anymore and i think a lot of people were shocked to see him doing a movie for the first time in so along and it's Sonic the Hedgehog.

58:58And he was very, I don't know if he was joking, but he went viral. He was like, I need money. Like, and this is what you do when you need money. Like one of these big stupid. And people were like, has he really wasted away his$180 million fortune? Cause that was his net worth like up until recently. So it kind of sounds like it might be because if he's open to doing the Grinch, like he obviously needs the money. But the Grinch is actually, like it seems silly, but it is one of the biggest Christmas movies of all. Like it's top five Christmas movies. He said, when I sit at home and I put on the TV and I see the Grinch up there being viewed by everybody every Christmas, it's so gratifying.

59:31It's unbelievable. There really is truly incredible magic in the universe, which is true. And also, like, there is a written Grinch sequel. Right. I feel like the story goes on forever. How the Grinch lost Christmas. Right. Where, like, everybody loves him. Everybody loves him. And he's, like, a part of Whoville. Yeah. And he's, like, in the Christmas tree competition for who can make the best tree. Then he can't get out of his own way. But he's still being so competitive that he ignores Cindy Lou, brushes her off, even though she's making the most meaningful tree. And again, he's lost the spirit of Christmas because he wanted to be the best instead of being a part of it.

1:00:00But then, of course. The fact that the story exists is the only reason there should be a sequel. If there wasn't, like, stop. Yeah. Agreed. And I think it would be great with Jim Carrey because he was fantastic. I know Jim Carrey, like, doesn't like public life and he doesn't like being famous. I think he loves the art of what he does, but he doesn't like, you know, the celebrity of it all. But I desperately need, like, a Netflix documentary. I feel like he's so underrated because he doesn't, he's not thirsty at all. He never leaves the house. Yeah. And I feel like he's kind of dark and twisted.

1:00:30Like I would love to know a lot more about Jim Carrey. Agreed. I don't think Jim Carrey wants you to know. He's not interested in being understood. He just. No, or he's not interested in being like lauded, like his legacy. Like he doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. It's true. But I do. Think about all the movies, like growing up, Ace Ventura. true Bruce Almighty Truman show like liar liar liar he literally like that genre of we were like low-key huge Jim Carrey fans growing up but I think everybody was we were huge Jim Carrey fans growing up we had liar liar on VHS like seriously we watched it every fucking day yeah because like I feel like other comedians of his elk in that time like don't resonate for me just I missed it well we were really young a lot of comedians of that time like didn't stay in the family friendly genre like he always made movies that were like max pg-13 yeah he never like went on to do like you know oscar movies like steve carell yeah yeah steve carell was like at the same level as jim carrey for a while but then he decided he wanted to be like oscar yeah yeah no he's he's one of a kind no i'm here i'm ready for grinch too and i'm ready for the untold story of jim carrey honestly i think it would he doesn't care but i think like it would he could he could write a book i feel like that would be a really good medium for him yes he would have full control you know tell the parts yeah yeah to tell but i feel like the documentarians of the world are always looking for like the next big thing you know it's jim carrey yeah yeah so go knock on his door like bother him earn his trust give him final cut yeah final cut pro if you gave him final cut he would do it what the hell do i know remember the rumors that he was dating ariana grande yeah i believe them he also think about that all the time wants the money i does he have children i don't think so i don't think he ever married like is all his money maybe he like really likes the high life maybe he's got a play i'm sorry he has a daughter oh jane carrey that's nice she was in a tv show called defying gravity the untold story of women's gymnastics oh interesting and maybe she likes birkins and i'm sorry he was married this is how private he is he was married actually from 87 to 95 so five help eight years to melissa womer she's an actress well her name is melissa it was melissa carrie wow she went all the way we need to know more jim carrie wives and girlfriends i want to know girlfriends like how has he not had like so many flings renee zellweger jenny mccarthy and more love oh my goodness linda ronstadt he they duo dated for eight months in 83 melissa wolmer who he married they share a daughter jane from 87 to 95 lauren holly i guess she was his co-star in Dumb and Dumber, another movie that he did in 96.

1:03:32And they got married for less than a year. Renee Zellweger, they met on the set of Me, Myself, and Irene. They were engaged from 1999 to 2000. Carrie later called Zellweger the great love of his life during an interview with Howard Stern in 2020. So 20 years later, he said that. January Jones, 2002. shit oh annie bing the designer the designer she was a model at the time they dated for a year before pulling the plug on their romance and i feel like i might have known this jenny mccarthy a year after meeting in 2005 they went public with their relationship and then called it quits in 2010 so they did it for a significant amount of time after jenny mccarthy claimed in 2012 that jim carrey turned his back on her then 10 year old son jim carrey told us us weekly in a statement I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan's well-being.

1:04:23That's weird. Excuse me? Then after that, he dated Angel Joseph with the former America's Next Top Model in 2011. This man has had a million girlfriends. Anastasia Vitkina. I mean, he's been famous for 50 years. Oh, this is where things get weird. Several months later, so this is what, 2011. I don't know how old he is. He was linked with an NYU student, Anastasia Vitkina. How old is he now? 60? Then in 2015, oh, right. Remember, he was with Cathriona White, who died. Yeah. So they dated from 2012 to 2015. It was ruled a suicide by prescription drug overdose. He was also implicated in two wrongful death lawsuits filed by her ex-husband, which were eventually dismissed.

1:05:13I remember that. And that's his last known public relationship. Oh, no. and then ginger gonzaga a canada native went public with a space force alum at 2019 golden globes party and then they split in october so like he went on a date with someone yeah but he's also definitely like date he he likes to have a girlfriend so he's definitely dating people but maybe now more quietly ever since like the tragedy and ariana grande for sure it's so funny how like taylor swift has had a lot of boyfriends seriously not as many as jim carrey i was the list never ended well cluddy he's been in the public eye since the 80s like it's true it's true it's true it's actually not even that's not even a lot it's just a lot of time has passed the passage of time is significant.

1:05:47I feel like we go down rabbit holes every now and then that like are uninteresting and that we've been down before. That was like one of the most interesting articles I've ever read. No I know I need more now. We need him on the pod dream guest. Should I add him to the list? Add him. Yeah. A thousand percent. He does not do interviews. He certainly doesn't do podcasts even though he went on Howard Stern. No and like we're so low stakes. Come on. Listen we'll cut out whatever you want to cut out. We'll like suck your dick. We're here to have we're not here to expose anyone like we literally only want to have our faves on this is like come talk about sonic talk about whatever you want we literally don't give a fuck um okay let's dive into the tv recap segment should we do yellowstone or southern charm first do yellowstone because i think it's shorter it sounds like it is nothing happened i have nothing to recap except there were two notable cameos one unfortunately bella hadid this has put me out of crossroads claudia i don't know where to go from here i hated the episode so much episodes to watch and this show is like one of my favorite it was a safe space.

1:06:43Also, they said next week is the season finale. Why didn't they call it the series finale? Oh, I don't know. Me and Ben were so confused. We were like, is this an Easter egg? They're confusing. Okay. So she was in the episode quite a bit. Like, I seriously just did my best to act She plays Taylor Sheridan's girlfriend? Yeah, which he's getting dragged for. It's like, okay, sure. And he obviously, like, didn't want to wrap up the show without putting himself in it, like, a little bit more and making himself out to be, like, this cool guy horse trainer. Beth was like, to Bella Hadid, like, what do you see in him?

1:07:14Like, he's such a dick. And she was like, have you ever seen him ride? And then they did, like, a whole slow-mo of Tyler Sheridan, like, riding the horse. And Beth was like, I get it. Like, okay, it was Taylor Sheridan writing fan fiction about himself, okay? Like, it was actually cringe. I'm upset. But the more notable cameo that I cannot believe nobody is talking about, I couldn't get over it. And it was such an unremarkable part of the episode. Beth goes to a bar and just, like, wants to fuck with some guy. Like she's like, picks some random guy out of a crowd and is like, you're a loser. And you sucked a cock once.

1:07:45Like she just, and the actor is Bart Johnson. Coach Bolton. Seriously. I had never been so happy in my whole life. It actually kind of like undid all the negative thoughts I had about casting up until that point of Bella Hadid. Oh my God. I was cracking up so much. His, like his character was like literally on screen for five seconds as a big loser. And Blake Lively's brother-in-law. Blake Lively's brother-in-law. And Beth was like, once you suck a cock, you're just a cocksucker. Like, it was so funny. Not Coach Bolton. No, no. It was so fucking funny. I didn't see enough people talking about that.

1:08:22And if I had to recap any other part of the episode, I actually couldn't. It was so boring. And I don't spoil the plot in case I'm able to. No, I'm not. But every single episode this season has been an hour and 15 minutes for literally no reason. They could cut the 15 minutes. They could fit the whole thing in 10 minutes. Yeah. And I like that they draw it out. like there's a lot of unnecessary conversations they've got 14 million viewers they've got ads to sell let them yeah it's the end of this show like unless they can move us all to land man it's well i wanted to say something there was a lady on my flight when i was flying down to you right in front of me watching land man and it actually looked so good really good things about land man however i did see a scene that was really terrible between me too between the dad and the daughter kfc from barstool posted it yeah it's not there too um it was like cringe incest like weirdness it was so weird it was him asking the daughter like if she's having sex with her boyfriend stop it was so fucking weird and when you hear land man what do you think of man no come on close really close land man you're a land man you're a bad man she said it's gonna be top man by james kennedy i think of sandman and spidey but i also think of mr sandman bring me a dream a dream bum bum bum bum so there's a lot there but i've also heard this show called blank is the best show ever it's called blank you want to fill in the blank i don't know i don't know what you're referring to what channel is there's like it's on it gets uh uh advertised on paramount hold on i'm gonna find the show because i actually i've heard so many great things that i think i'm gonna watch it olivia is watching paramount shows hold on paramount shows that olivia ashley is watching lioness haven't heard of it you haven't i've heard that that's the one to watch from a number of different places 1923 yet no oh wait hold on Let me add it to my plate.

1:10:27That Brendan Sklenar in Africa. Plate. Every time they went back to Montana in that show, I was like, no, go back to Africa. Like, it's so good. Okay, so 1923 and Lioness one day. And I started 1883, and I thought it was boring. Yeah, I didn't finish 1883. All right, now please tell us what went down in Charleston. Southern Charm last night, season two, the gang's all back. So we're dealing with JT is seriously like the craziest actor. Not that he's an acting, but like as an actor, as a human being, like literally so crazy. So first of all, I believe the word you're looking for is person. Yeah, individual.

1:11:09So last episode, like he has all this beef with Austin and also he like an ATB fell on him during the off season. So he's like walking with a cane now. And he decided he had this like really terrible idea to they stopped. they were going to some horse race and he like got canes for everyone as like an olive branch was so weird and he had like a really bad pun and it made me uncomfortable so I'm not even gonna repeat it but it was just like loser behavior and what he did was he gave a cane to everyone like haha making fun of his own cane and he gave a cane also to Miss Patricia and how did she receive that she absolutely hated it everyone was like seriously dying like you don't give a cane to an 80 year old woman like seriously who actually doesn't need one yet like He has neuronic behavior.

1:11:51So he kind of has to like deal with the fallout from that. But then he goes to like play golf with Shep and Craig. And it's just being like really fucking crazy. Like saying the wildest stuff about how like he thinks that Madison's husband is worried that JT and Madison like got together in Jamaica. Like he's not. Nobody was thinking. Nobody's worried about that. Like he's just like really. I don't know why I didn't see it last season. But like biggest loser ever. Out there. Yeah. Really, really crazy. Miss Patricia had an Easter brunch where she invited just, you know, the top tier of the cast, which I used to, I don't know if I've gotten older, so I have more appreciation for Patricia or she's like backed away from being so involved in the drama and is just like hosts people and doesn't like say nasty comments about people.

1:12:32I don't know, but I'm really appreciating her value in the show now. And I love her home. And she's so close with Madison, who is literally the greatest of all time. Like I saw that clip about, I didn't know her husband had thyroid cancer. Yeah. That was really sad. They were like making breakfast and they were just being like so adorable and her son Hudson he's 12 and I was like what a beautiful perfect thing and then like he starts complaining about this pain in his throat and we find out that there this is what's going on he has thyroid cancer and now he's having some complications and then they're just sitting down for breakfast and just like it turned so sad she also had been wanting to like have more kids with him but those plans have been put on pause while he's going through this so it was just really sad but then I was listening to Madison on Skinny Confidential podcast and what I didn't realize but this seemed to have been well known is that Madison was doing hair and makeup for the cast of southern charm she was in the crew for many years before she went on the show so interesting I thought that was so interesting and she went on the show as Austin's girlfriend but also like it seemed like production like could tell that she like let's get this girl in front of the camera and it worked out really well that way but now as far as like leading ladies on the show like it's Madison show she's like narrating it oh wow a lot of the commentary is like the voice of reason and she's just I love her so much she's like so gorgeous she's gorgeous insane and I just she's hysterical too so when she found out that like JT is like saying this stuff like she's next week she's gonna sure she's eating him for breakfast can't sure JT friggin wait um then Craig and he's at his house which is so beautiful showing us his gardens his spritz like just living this quieter life Shep is like dating this girl who it seems like based on previews and also on watch what happens live like is totally using him and it's like an end really she's like Miss Bahamas that's she is like you know a pageant winner Miss Bahamas of the Bahamas she's obviously like very beautiful and very young and like I think just like wants to be on the show and is like obsessed Shep um so that seems to go south but Taylor's dating a new guy who they seem really good together I don't know why Shep was talking and does Shep still like pine for Taylor Shep is the reason why Shep and Taylor didn't work out and aren't together yeah he's like saying her grandma wishes it was me and her parents wish she was still dating me and it's like I'm sure Taylor at some point which she's moved on like let her be like you don't want a future with her so why can't you just support her being happy with anyone else and it's not Austin you should be pleased right so just good to see the gang really um yeah and I don't know I just I love the world of of Southern Charm it's a beautifully shot show too like everybody looks nice the houses are nice charleston charleston is pretty and claudia you're gonna be livid so they were having brunch easter brunch at miss patricia's there's a new cast member named molly she's been like in the background of other someone's guest here she came to a party with whitney she's had like stuff with whitney over the years um and she's very open she used to be a model but she has a uh like a thyroid issue and she's gained a lot of weight over the years on and off up and down she gained 45 pounds in 2020 she's lost 20 of it she was talking at the table how she's got 15 more to go whatever then they were having cupcakes for dessert and she like made hers like a sandwich like you said um on your gender reveal and she's showing everyone how she eats it and Whitney's like that's the last thing you need and like he thinks he can say that because they're like old friends and she didn't even she's like it wasn't even she probably was she was heard and she said like what the fuck but like she didn't even give it to him like it needed to be given but it was like so awful like I don't know how Whitney is still around okay and not enough people are making I feel like if it was anybody else who said that they'd be canceled over finished like I don't know why maybe because Whitney's like not because it's his show and he's like a producer I don't know but it was just like what I mean also like pot kettle you are so ugly like those in glass houses you can't be commenting on other people's looks like okay maybe you don't struggle with your weight but you struggle with your fucking face.

1:16:26Oh my God, I'm so mad. No, it was so crazy. Ugly. It's always the uglies. It's always the uglies. Like nobody like outrightly beautiful is ever commenting on other people's looks. Let's just be real. No, it was so crazy. And also she's a beautiful girl. Like even if she wasn't. Oh my God, I fucking hate him. Wow, that's such a crazy story. That's like, you don't see that a lot. No, in 2024, before like doesn't everyone know on television the last the last time i remember seeing that was jersey shore yeah i'm saying she said that's the key when he said to chloe oh about a big dinner oh oh no i'm thinking of before that jersey shore where they're in atlantic city for like a fun weekend and they're all fighting but like snooki they're at dinner and he's like she's snooki says pass the rolls and situation was like you don't have enough of those jail that's why they sent him to jail yeah i know now that at the time he's probably on like about 60 percocet a day so like maybe I'll make an allowance for it.

1:17:23But like, I'm still upset. Yeah. On behalf of Snooki. No, and then also when like Alex's weird fucking cousin, Pauly said to Chloe, like you don't need, she said we're gonna have a big dinner tonight. Like, cause they were on the cast vacation. He was like, you don't need a big dinner. Jail. Wait, also this happened on Housewives. Somebody said to Margaret, Teresa said to Margaret like big dinner. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She never misses a dinner. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. She was like, can we just eat? Like stop fighting. and Teresa's like, well, you would never miss a meal. Fucking bitch.

1:17:53I literally, like, there's, even if I don't even like you and somebody calls you out, like, I will defend you till the day I die. Like, it bothers me so much. It's so crazy. So that was just, like, really crazy that that happened, like, going on 2025 on my television for someone who's been on TV for 12 years and is an executive producer and should know how to behave. Right, like, have you learned nothing? Right. Let's dive into our final segment, the seventh thing we needed to get to today. The seventh thing I hate about you. Yeah. Queenie and me. All right, Johnson. Queenie and Weenie. So Queenie and Weenie is the weekly segment where Jackie and I like to wrap up the week, put a little bow on things, and give two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week, to two different people, someone who acted like a queen.

1:18:31It could be a person, a place, or a thing. It could be, you know, an entity. And Weenie of the Week, somebody who acted like a weenie. Now, it's not somebody who broke the law or somebody who did anything, like, terribly hurtful, but just, you know, like a fun little seven-day title. Although, today's Queenie and Weenie will be, like, a three-week title because we're going off. Yeah. So that's unfortunate. So I'll start with my Queenie, shall I? No, I think we should start with weenie and like end the whole show on like a really positive note. Okay. Well, my weenie of the week is MGK. Cheating on your pregnant girlfriend who's your twin fire flame soul.

1:19:02Blood sister in Christ. Like they're always like sharing blood. It's such weenie behavior. It's more than that. But like what is you doing? And not being able to stop texting bitches for five minutes. Like weener. Grow up. I love that. He definitely crossed my mind for potential. Now, I had two. Which one do I want to go with? Give me the runner-up and then crown. The runner-up. And she's not really weenie, but she just did something so weenie this week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Like, I remember when I saw Garcelle butting into the conversation being like, I agree. I remember thinking, I'm like, oh, noted for weenie of the week in case nobody else does anything more weenie.

1:19:42Like, and I hate to do it because. No, I'm sorry. That's definition weenie. like MGK is actually an asshole but like weenie I agree yeah and it's like nobody asked and I'm such a ride or die for Garcelle like we know you we already knew that whatever anyone said against Dorit I know that you agree and Dorit like not engaging with that and being like I'm sorry was that English Queenie like made it so weenie like even more so she was my runner up but honestly like watching Yellowstone last night and seeing Taylor Sheridan like I Jackie you need to see it And we know that he's like this world-renowned horse trainer, right?

1:20:16But Beth actually has to go down to him to ask for a favor. So we see how he lives his life, like selling horses, you know, sexy girls in the pool and like playing poker and deep-frying corn dogs. And it's just like this is how he wanted to be perceived by the world, Taylor Sheridan. And it was so illusory. And the whole scene, like, have you seen him ride? And then he's like in his arena, like chasing around this little bull. Like it was just, it was actually so illusory. It's major weenie of the week energy. Okay, I love that. Yeah. Now, Queenie, share yours with me. Mine is definitely like a little bit, it's not about this week in particular.

1:20:52It's really just like my queenie of like the year. Okay, this is not my queenie of the year. My queenie of the week though is something that we talked about on next week's Patreon episode, but we haven't spoken about here, which is that at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino this weekend, someone won over$2 million at the casino. And the Girly Sprirly Live show was at the Hard Rock this weekend. the odds that this person is a toaster are extremely high. So my Queenie of the Week is the toaster who likely won almost$3 million this weekend at Girly Swirly's Night Out. I know she's not - And you know she won it in Florida, so like the tax situation is much better than if she were to win it in like a casino elsewhere.

1:21:28I don't feel like this person's going to come forward because like they're dealing with a lot. She shouldn't. It's like, you know, when you win the lottery, like everyone starts coming out of the woodwork, like she's not going to come forward publicly. They start acting different. But in my heart of hearts, I know that a toaster won$3 million this weekend at Gizno. And like, that's my Queenie right there. And if it couldn't be me, I'm happy it was her. Yeah, yeah. And I'm happy that we brought her there. Like, we're a part of that. A thousand percent. I like if it was overcut, but okay. My Queenie is a lot of people, actually.

1:21:55You know, we have had such a wonderful year. And I just wanted to wrap up by saying thank you to so many of the people who make this show go round. Mostly our sponsors, who are so ride or die. Like, you know, we do this show. I'm in charge of the ads. and we have so many repeat sponsors who we love working with, who love working with us, who keep the lights on here. So to them, I want to say thank you. To our wonderful team at Dear Media who sell those ads and keep the lights on, I want to say thank you. To our amazing agents, Barry, Ben, Erica, all of them, the team, just queenies over, the team, our fabulous PR swirlies, like everyone we work with.

1:22:32Our attorneys. Our attorneys, Jess, we love you, Jess. everyone who helps just champion us and who loves us and works with us and like just it's just it's amazing to have so many fabulous mostly women yeah that's right we champion women almost every single person on our team aside from ben is and i'm not talking about my husband then like a different man is a woman gabby and marcus like everybody just we are so blessed and then of course every single person who tunes into this show like whether you tune in every day only fridays because you love queenie and weenie only wednesdays because you love dear toasters whatever it is however you contribute into supporting our show whether that's big or small liking an Instagram post or you know joining the Patreon it truly means the world to Jackie and I we absolutely love what we do and we get to keep doing it because people show up and as long as you guys show up we will too we'll probably show up even if nobody's here um it means the world we have the best fucking job we have the best listeners getting to go on tour this year and like see them in real life and everybody getting dressed up and like bringing funny signs and gifts like it was just the definition of pargy lish and everybody i just mentioned is seriously the biggest fucking queenie of all time that's so beautiful and so meaningful and i completely agree this community is filled with queenies if you're listening to us right now you are the queenie and we love you yeah and however however you listen yeah no but if you're hearing these words if you're hearing these words as i'm speaking them you're a queenie just know that just like look inward what do you see queenie dumb i see queenie behavior queenie hood so that is so beautiful i completely concur thank you to everyone who helps make the show go around thank you to our partners and our teams and our partners our families just everyone in our world shout out to ben i don't know what we would talk about if we weren't making fun of him half the time and he's such a good sport about it and he's the best so shout out to him our roses are of course our husband per year per year and yeah I hope we're not missing anyone that would be so awkward I know but I feel like no think about who we sent holiday gifts to yeah that's what I was thinking yeah all of our TNN partners so Shannon Ben and Josh and the redheads Dana uh just everyone I don't want to wrap up because then you know it's really over even though we have tons of content coming on next week we do and if you're listening to this episode and you're very sad that we're taking a two-week break just know there is content over at patreon.com slash the toast that will start dropping as soon as Monday you will have episodes and if you join today you will have access to 300 episodes that we've done over the last seven years it's all there waiting for you and literally you could start right now and we would have enough to tide you over until we're back you wouldn't even be done no you wouldn't like not even no you would have to stay up all night watching and listening so that's our show thank you so much for listening to the toast the money a morning show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every monday through friday on youtube so if you're watching us on youtube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found so that's spotify itunes stitcher public radio i heart radio cast box all the places wherever you listen to podcasts find us the toast leave a five-star review come on about how beautiful stunning and wickedly talented we are love you dearly bye