New Era of Toast: Monday, January 27th, 2025

0:00Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday that has truly never felt more like a Monday because today's a start. It's a rebirth as Ramona Singer would say. It's a renewal of sorts. We are feeling ageless. We are feeling fresh. We are feeling new. Hello Jackie. How are you? Hi, Turdy. Welcome to the toast. I feel like this is a real welcoming. This is a new era of toast. Claudia moved to her new studio. And due to that, we did a total studio refresh at both studios. So if you're listening as a podcast, you might want to head over to the video today for a Pardee treat because we are brand new.

0:37Yeah. Secret project reveal over the weekend, Jackie and I both were hard at work doing absolutely nothing um but having studios built for us we literally look like we're in the palace of Versailles I am so excited about this I can't believe we had like such a major change undergoing and we did not say one word about it to anyone like we were such secret keepers it's giving like I don't know it's giving we can keep a secret we were so low-key we didn't even say secret project like I feel like we really wanted people to be excited and surprised by this so yes to put a bow on Friday's episode that's why I couldn't leave my house this weekend because starting Friday right after we wrapped the show people have been here around the clock setting up my new studio getting the lighting everything so I stayed home all weekend we had a variety of play dates people coming in and out of the house to keep it a fun weekend at home because I couldn't leave and now you know when I why and I wasn't just being cagey no this is truly a new era of toast this is also our first sort of dry run with all of our new equipment so if today's episode actually makes it to air like god is good god is on our side we are going to be okay um but we have new chairs and i'm first of all so excited to see how this affects my coccydynia and my sciatica i have really high hopes um i don't think there could have been a worse chair for me to be sitting in than our previous chair when it came to my tailbone issues and my physical therapist actually said that so while this technically was like an extravagant expense it's really a medical expense it is it's covered by insurance 1000 and it's covered by pet insurance because brewery is feeling very at peace knowing that there is now space for him on it's really a couch like we have these big sofa chairs that can fit we could share one sometime turtleoo if you want to get depending on like what stage of our like weight fluctuations we're at we totally could share one we totally could but now bruno can be here comfortably and he's literally been sleeping next to me like the entire hour that we've been getting ready for the show and I feel like we needed to bring back the do to do spirit the spirit of the do be be bring back bruno bruno bing brack bring brack bruno yeah that's what I mean like that's what I've been saying bing brack you know you feel like nervous today I feel like this is our first show ever like I have I haven't gotten like nervous for work in a very long time not only do I feel nervous for sure I feel like a little awkward I don't know why this just doesn't feel familiar to me yet so I feel like I'm podcasting and like in someone's house.

2:58Yeah. I feel this the way that I, what I would feel if I was on like someone else's show, like, I feel like I'm really doing a podcast, not just like sat with my girl Turdy on FaceTime. We'll get to that level of comfortability, but I'm glad we are acknowledging like I have like stage fright today. Yeah, no, it's kind of like when you and I podcast together in person after a really long time of remote podcasting and be like, feel really weird making eye contact with one another. And like the vibes are just weird. Um, I'm feeling like a little bit of that awkwardness today. Cause I'm just not used to my usual setup like usually I have you right here so I'm just readjusting but I I could not welcome this new era of toast more I feel like the timing is perfect I love the vibes I think a lot of people there will be for sure like people making edits on social media you know rest in peace to the palm leaves because they were such an iconic part an integral part of our brand for the last truly seven years now I don't feel like it has truly reflected who we are as human beings for a really long time having said that people are attached to it and I'm and there's validity in those feelings So I just want to give a moment and hold space for people who might be missing those palm leaves today.

3:57Yeah, they were so good to us. But I'm excited to now like look at palm leaves and like look at that design and not be like, oh, I have to sit down and do work. Like I can maybe go back to enjoying that aesthetic. And that's exciting. But I welcome a new aesthetic. It's Coombs Afresh. It's been a while since we've done like a total facelift and we've never done it as intentionally as this. But I guess every time we move studios, the look changes. so you moving was meant to change the whole thing which we've been talking about for a while so the timing really worked out but I am very excited I think these Parchi vibes like really reflect us as people because it's like very traditional and modern at the same time and that's how I would describe us very swirly as well and I can't really stress enough how like yes our show looks different but what's most different and I think what people will probably appreciate the most is we've really upgraded all of our equipment so when it comes to videos and audios like we really spared no expense in giving everybody the most premium experience when it comes to watching, listening, receiving the toast.

4:58So I'm looking forward to way less tech issues because our last studio was truly built by Jackie I and YouTube tutorials. Like we made it as far as we could. Yeah, guitar center. We made it as far as we could, like with our own free will and our, you know, wit and our scrappiness. And this time we outsourced. I can confidently say I had no part in building this studio and that's how I know it's going to be great. That's how it should be. we called in the big guns yeah i'm excited sort of like you know scrappy shitty element like having that sort of jankiness on top of everything we do is so well actually claude we're still gonna be those scrappy girls because like once they leave today they're never coming back and it's on us to learn how to use all of this and do everything post-show that we've always done so like we'll still be those girls don't worry we had a three-day break yeah we did it was so nice and we're coming back yeah this is like the least amount of effort I've ever exerted in a project and I have loved every minute of it I feel like really truly feel like a star also of course we vlog the whole thing so vlog is coming out on patreon Claudia vlogged her half I vlogged mine and I'm really excited to see yours too it'll be like a dual vlog which I love that we should do more of that we should and we just there's so much newness and different because I'm also in like a completely different physical space Jackie's in the same room but we've just totally turned it upside down.

6:13Um, and I left behind a great deal of, of my past at that former studio. I didn't even realize like how much of a part the sirens played every day. I think people who don't live in New York, like really felt like New Yorkers when listening to this podcast, like, you know, chasing ambulances and things like that. They also felt like they were being pulled over, which I'm happy for you guys that you hopefully will no longer feel that way. My new studio has like one and a half windows. It faces an alley. Like we're not going to be hearing anything. Um, and while that's obviously great for like an audio experience, it's not great for those people who really wanted to tune into the toast and feel like they were living in New York City for you know feel like they were watching an episode of Cops literally I'm gonna miss the excitement I really am yeah and I didn't even realize how many people were going to miss the truckers for Tayshia that was a chapter that I kind of forgot about I wonder how Tayshia feels about the truckers for Tayshia but yeah they were such a big part of the lore of the last studio so we'll miss them too wait totally separate side um did you see uh the Dumois update on Rachel Kirkennell and Matthew James and then Rachel Kirkennell's comment on it yeah I've kind of been through a lot with it first I saw that Dumois commented she had a blind item that like Matt and James were spotted together in the city and I was like Matt and James yeah James and I was like seriously I'm done with these two like they don't even know if they're together or not like I can't leave us out of it I can't just keep being invested in their story and then Rachel commented like no we weren't together so and she literally said wasn't me implying that he's like with another woman or i just think it's implying like this is or i think it's implying that like these are lies yeah no it oh you think there was like no spotting whatsoever oh yeah i guess like how do you mistake rachel kirkennell nobody looks like rachel kirkennell that's why she is rachel kirkennell yeah like if you know matt and james then you know what rachel kirkennell looks like it's giving elizabeth and james yeah it is so i don't like i just that to me was a demerit in the dumois column or so yeah yeah no it's definitely a crack in her credibility yeah like where's the accountability you got it wrong yeah yikes although the last time she did supply a rachel and matt blind item about japan like it kind of blew the whole case wide open i don't want to hear about japan maybe she got a little big for her bridges i don't want to hear about Japan it's like it confuses the Rachel Matt continuum yeah that they're like they're time travelers because they're in Japan together they're also in London having pizza and they're also in America breaking up in three hours and posting on Instagram and they're at Nima Colon so it's a lot I just want to say I might be hearing like phantom things but is your camera still recording I just heard like a beep boop yes and yes the red light okay just with this new studio like I have to stay on top of it just I heard like a beep boop it wasn't my beep boop it was a year people it wasn't mine either no my people was good we're good okay um so we have such great stories today actually a lot happened over the weekend especially with the football of it all yesterday with the football but i would be remiss devastated and heartbroken if i did not update everybody on my journey to watch all the movies that are nominated for the oscars this year i made so much headway this weekend and all that remains for me is the brutalist and that's because they refuse to put it on some sort of streaming service and i'm not sitting in a movie theater for three hours because while I love going to the movies, what I've realized is that I think I like the movie a lot less when I see it in theaters versus in the comfort of my own home.

9:35Like I was thinking about this the other day, me and Ben were recounting how many movies we've walked out of. Like I have walked out of so many movies and I feel like if I was watching them at home, I would have just finished them. Do you know what I mean? Interesting. No, I feel like you would have just turned it off, but because a walkout is so much more serious, you're like, I walked out versus like oh I just went on my phone and let it play till the end I feel like I actually like movies more in theaters because I don't go on my phone and I really have to be sad for them but also I don't go to the movies often so when I go I see something that I know I'm gonna like therefore I like all of the movies that I see in theaters because it's like I'm choosing differently so in theaters Ben and I on Saturday saw a complete unknown which is the Bob Dylan movie Timothee Chalamet and I now understand of course why it's called a complete unknown um it's still a terrible actually when i was done with the movie i didn't understand why it was called that and then ben was explaining it to me and so let me say this ben really liked the movie ben happens to you know have very fond feelings about bob dylan because he grew up with a dad who loved bob dylan and i could that's so bruce like bruce loves that type of uh he loves uh billy joel he loves like these old jewish men you know james uh taylor like it's so i could see ben And so Ben was like, I loved it.

10:51And he was like, I know you hated it. I didn't say one word during the whole movie. I was counting down the minutes. I really didn't like it. And I'm not sure if it's because one, the movie was bad. Two, and I guess I'm just sort of like putting this together. Like I don't like Bob Dylan. Like I don't know his music. Even like his biggest, I knew one song from the whole movie. The Answer, My Friend. The Answer, My Friend. And the whole movie is like about how he hates that song, you know? and so all I really know about Bob Dylan is what Timothee Chalamet portrayed to me and so I feel like that's unfair because Timothee Chalamet made him into the most unlikable human being on the planet and I don't know what prosthetics or anything they made him so physically unattractive that I was looking at pictures of Bob Dylan I'm like oh he was a major cutie no Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan was like full-blown uggo really ugly like I don't know what these prosthetics were because I was shocked to see like young hot pictures of him I'm like oh I can understand how we like swept the nation he was a cutie yeah um also bob dylan is like a huge jew okay you would never know from the movie like there was one scene where like he got a piece of mail that said robert zimmerman and his girlfriend was like is that your name and that was literally it so it's like is he hiding his jewish identity so i'm like oh is he a self-hating jew then i went on like did some research oh the man loves judaism wrote this beautiful song neighborhood bully about israel in the 80s like he's been he's been knowing about his letter and comb no so i was like where is his identity it was just i feel like as somebody who knew nothing nothing about bob dylan i still know nothing the movie taught me nothing everybody in the theater was like an older person who probably like knew a lot of the context i did not um he just kind of looked like an ass okay maybe he is an ass like no that's not the vibe i was getting on google oh okay i can't add just like you i have no point of reference for bob dylan i can't add anything to this conversation.

12:43I know. And then at the end of the movie, they had like, you know, classic black and white text with like all of his accomplishments and how like much of a, like a thoughtful and also cause driven person he was. I'm like, that was not Timothy. Timothy was just a dick. Like all these things. I'm like, that does not add up with the person you just portrayed in this movie. Like he won a Nobel peace prize. He like was really like passionate about social causes. I'm like this in the movie, he was passionate about nothing except smoking cigarettes like it was really just I didn't like it but having said that I don't know if that's like a universal truth like I think I liked it I think a lot of the people around me were like cackling I was just not feeling it at all okay yeah like I wouldn't want to watch a movie about some random guy off the street either like I don't know him guy on the street he's giving I don't know her like yeah yeah 100 % but then that led me I was like making progress I'm like wow I only have like two more movies that I want to see you told me you saw it and I'm like Claudia you need to watch Amelia Perez because we talk about it all the time you're watching the Oscar movies it's the most nominated like I'm sorry you have to watch it if you want it really to be taken seriously and there's so much discourse around it that I absolutely I had to and Ben didn't know what it was about and I kind of like tricked him into watching it because he wanted to look up what it was about and I was like no I really wanted him to be completely surprised that's also the best anyway yeah and it's such like a sort of outlandish concept for a film that I thought he would really enjoy the surprise.

14:06And so let me tell you, we watched Emilia Perez and like by no stretch of the imagination, is it a good movie? Like I would never recommend it. It's really, it's almost satirically bad, especially the elements of the musical. And I watched the whole movie, which felt like 10 movies in one. Like it was this weird, stupid musical. It was this story of gender identity, but like very quickly that ends like the drug lord become like transitions in the first 20 minutes it's a two-hour movie like it's actually not about that at all it it's five different movies in one it's about the sex change it's about her new life it's about the organization and then it's like a hostage movie it is seriously the most aimless pointless movie because when and i'm telling ben as we're watching i'm like no i mean and this is like a story that really shook mexican culture at the time and i'm like I'm explaining like how crazy it was.

15:02And then I wanted to wait till I was done with the movie to like research what parts of the movie were real, what parts of the movie were like fictionalized. And I come to find out that the entire movie is fiction. Like this is not a true story. Yeah. I don't know why you were under the impression that it was a true story. You had said stuff like that on the show. Like I think because the Tostadas were really offended by it and you were getting the idea that like why choose this story to tell as if it was a true story out of so many other true stories but that was just like a leap that you had made so after like upon finding out that the whole thing was fake I really felt like almost annoyed that I wasted my time like I learned nothing from this movie um and then I was reading a lot of the feedback and why it's overwhelmingly negative like it's a movie that's beloved by critics but despised by both like the Mexican community and the trans community it's like this is our story no it's not and then mexico's like are you guys kidding me like you never make movies about our culture and the one that you do is like really highlighting the worst parts of mexican culture that's really not emblematic of like mexico and that's like drug cartels it's all about like these missing these people who go missing all about violence and crime and drugs and it's like really that's what you're putting out there so everyone's mad for their own reasons and i'm mad because i wasted two and a half hours of my fucking time.

16:19Why does it have 13 nominations? Like who wants this? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Cause they literally like created a movie to check a million boxes in the Oscar category. Like that's why they made it a musical. Like, so it could be nominated in score. They literally were just like doing rent. Cause the movie felt seriously just like a hodgepodge of crapola. Like I don't even know what I was watching half the time. You know what it feels like? It feels like if you ask AI, like write me a script for a movie that will win all of the Oscars. And then they start checking off all of these buckets that the Oscars care about.

16:53And obviously the Viginoplasty song was the highlight of the film for me. And Ben literally was like, oh, this is what you've been singing all week. I'm like, yeah, sex change operation. But there were so many songs, Jackie, and they were all just like that. They were like either in Spanish or English. And the way, and I know this is what musicals are like, we're having a conversation, then I start to sing. But it was highlighted so i never think in a musical it's weird that that person's singing right yeah i'm like yay the song is here and amelia prez i'm like why are you singing like it was so wrong like none of it added up and let me tell you in the beginning of the movie when she's looking for a doctor who can like do the operation but also protect the identity of this person it's a very high profile drug cartel lord um she travels around the world looking for like the best doctors and she ends up in tel aviv and i was like no way is this movie taking me to israel like that's what I mean like you never knew what this movie was gonna throw out at you next and they ended up going with Dr.

17:47Wasserman the Jewish doctor from Israel who you know we'll keep your secret kept the secret like it the movie just kept going right turn left turn left turn right turn like you just I can't even tell you what the movie was about why you got to bring the Jews into it yeah no it was just like we have our own problems and this terrible movie like we really don't we don't need it's a narrative we wish to be excluded from one in which we never asked to be a part of it was actually embarrassing for the well-known actors to participate in this movie like zoe's and it's crazy because like zoe saldan is winning so she doesn't look at this project as like no as a stain no but the dancing and the singing and just like the crazy dialogue um what was ben's reaction when selena gomez says that line oh my god he was like and she says it in spanish so it obviously like hits different because you're reading the subtitles but she essentially is like talking to this man and she's like my pussy hasn't stopped the robbing since i last saw you and she says it in spanish um and he was like whoa that's what i mean like and it was jackie it was so unnecessary like the the guy that she was on the phone with is like an old lover old boyfriend they get back together like it's it's literally it wasn't even like a crazy type of relationship they just like kept doing such crazy things for the sake of what absurdity like the theme of the film was absurdity nothing was cohesive nothing made sense it was seriously by the end I was getting so fatigued by the plot twist because by the end it's like a it's a movie about like a hostage and you know they have to get the hostage back and I'm like how the fuck did we get here it was seriously the biggest waste of my time especially knowing that it was not actually based on true events and I don't know like what led me there and I'm surprised because people are always so quick to correct me like when I make things up and the comments and I didn't see one person say that Emilia Perez was not based on a true story that's because no one's seen it so they couldn't correct you because they didn't know correct correct so i things i did that things i wish i didn't do also that um and the only thing i have left is the brutalist and if anybody could give me like some tea on whether or not it's going to be on a streamer anytime soon that would be enormously helpful also when i went to the movie theaters i got into a fight with an old lady like oh my god turdy i was walking out of the bathroom at the end of the movie and there's one door into the bathroom and one door out so she was coming in i was coming out we just like class she was like an old lady with a cane so i was like oh my god i'm so sorry and i obviously moved away and let her walk through and she like rolled her eyes at me so hard like i was doing such like i didn't do anything wrong i was just leaving while you were entering it's just unfortunate that there's like things happen doors open i guess normally like under certain circumstances like a lady with a cane like obviously i would never be disrespectful to but like bitch i'm pregnant now so like we're in the same boat like we're both not well so i literally was like you're gonna be fine like i got i what did i do i went out of the way i said oh my gosh I'm so sorry even though I didn't do anything wrong we just collided like very naturally I did nothing wrong so I'm so sorry please and then I moved out of the way for her and her cane to come through and she's like shaking her head rolling her eyes and honestly like sorry I don't care who the fuck you are you're a bitch you're a bitch it's timeless I totally agree that's so crazy like I'm just so sick of letting these people what because you're geriatric no and by the way normally I would but now I'm like I'm checking a box like I'm also like I deserve yeah you know uh doors open for me i'm pregnant so you want to play with me you want to play with me lady so what'd you do did you hit her no i just said you're gonna be fine and i'm 90 sure she didn't even hear me of course she didn't like she was probably down the hallway and you're like to finally come back with your comeback she was right next to me but she was so old like oh you mean she was hard of hearing a thousand percent because she didn't even react and you know she was the type of bitch like who would have reacted if she heard me damn well that's really awkward no it wasn't it kind of felt good okay well I read this weekend finally oh I saw your story so I read the goddess of Warsaw which is like a historical fiction book that um I actually wish I picked it for the redheads and oh my gosh I posted like that I loved it so much I just like had a couple notes and the author dm me she's like what are your notes oh my god that's seriously the worst part of being as successful as we are especially in the literary space like roasting a book on your stories sometimes you'll like really hate her message was really nice and the thing is i didn't roast the book at all like i said i loved it highly recommend i had a couple notes and by notes i meant like thoughts but like of course i have a couple thoughts i just read a whole book about the holocaust my and it's also like you have notes who the fuck do you think you are so she was like what are your notes i would love to answer some questions i was like no i just meant like my note is that i loved the historic it was like historical and then also modern day and the historical piece so it's actually about the warsaw ghetto uprising in poland which i've learned about like back in the day but I I needed a refresher because it's such a it's such a crazy story it's like tragic but it's also like Masada these just like heroic tragic stories um it's you're choosing not like if you die but how you die and with dignity um so I loved when like that part of the book and then eventually that part ends and then we go into the future and I just really enjoyed that part more so that was like my note and um I was like no I just like love that and I just wish there was more of that um but the book was amazing and I do wish that I chose it for the redheads but you should still read it if you are interested and also today's holocaust remembrance day so it is a great way to celebrate donate to the mark shown what our holocaust education foundation mshef.org or read a book if yeah if you'd like so many ways to remember broaden your knowledge there are so many stories so many tragic stories and also what I liked about this book is that it was a historical fictional take but it brought in a lot of like true things that happened and I learned so many like just remember when you were reading that story I think Sophie's Choice and you like learned about like things that happened that you didn't know just like small moments or people um there was a lot of that just characters and events that I didn't know about that she brought like true things into it so I learned a lot about um that time that way and it if you do want to learn like historical fiction makes the reading like easy it's not like you're reading a big non-fiction history book but you get a lot out of it yeah so it was actually the perfect thing because I just had said I wanted to read things with more heft and it was definitely hefty so well shout out for Holocaust Memorial I feel like um people are always asking like you know what what to do and reading a book is great advice I also feel like check today specifically like a local JCC or like a Hillel Achabad because I think that um a lot of them put on programs like of having Holocaust survivors come and tell their stories and you know we're less than 100 years out from the Holocaust but like we're getting there and so we're the last generation of people who will be able to like hear firsthand experiences from people who lived through it people like Mark but there are you know quite a few left most of them live in Israel but a lot of them live in America and so they and a lot of them go around and do like speaking gigs they answer questions they just tell their stories and it's like so powerful if you've never met a Holocaust survivor in person or had the opportunity to hear them speak.

24:45It's literally the biggest privilege in the world. So just like check your local JCC or something, you know? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I feel like they'd be doing that today. Yeah. So that's always a good reminder. And last thing, just, you know, taking a sharp right turn, everyone just ignore me. Lots of people want to know update on our theme song competition. Have we chosen a winner? What's the status? So Jackie and I have chosen a winner. We are in communicado with the winner. um the winner is you know working on signing some paperwork and then the winner will fork over the song and Jackie and I will get in the studio so I don't know if we're gonna share until we have our own version what do you think like should we share like the winning version on our Instagram no I think that we should wait so it's a nice big exciting reveal and I'm very excited about that gotta get on the studio do my vocal warm-ups there's just so much change happening here like It's so funny.

25:40We do nothing. We literally change nothing for years. Then in one week, we have a whole new song, a whole new studio, a whole new life. When it rains, of course. Yeah, I completely agree. How are you feeling about all the change? Pulse check. Because I know you're not a change-friendly sort of gal. Person. I'm actually, with this particular set of changes, I'm really comfortable with it. You guys know how I had so many problems with my old studio. This new one is just closer to my house. The bathroom's cleaner. Everything about it is better. So I'm feeling okay. Like I'm getting rid of the good morning millennials, which is like going to be like a big thing for us and replacing it with a theme song that I'm having like a little bit more, you know, second thoughts about.

26:19Cause it's just, it's hard to create these sort of iconic moments that people come to love and expect and know. And we're just doing away with one. It feels wasteful. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. But evolution, evolve or die, evolve or die. So that's, that's what brings us to today. that is what brings us to today also just so much to discuss Taylor on the field Travis is going to the Super Bowl yeah Mars has a new song that's really taking the world by store big football news we'll do football at the top of the stories so in order to recap last night and the puff pastry hot dogs that I made let me tell you they were so damn good I'm cracking up because you and Ben called me and they like thought that I stole Ben's idea to make an Ina puff pastry yeah Ben had just made a video of him recreating an Ina garden recipe using puff pastry and mustard um that he saw on Ina garden when we were watching back to basics barefoot contessa and then you know one week later my sister is making a puff pastry Ina dish using mustard um from her Ina cookbook so we we didn't accuse we just thought like maybe she sought inspiration so we just called and asked but then we realized we came together and we turned on Ina and we're like oh she has one trick and it was in her cookbook and it was in her show because multiple recipes I had my eye on that recipe in that cookbook for like two years but I never made it and then I was like I wanted pigs in a blank and I was like oh yeah that Ina recipe and it's in her cookbook and it's on her show but honestly painting on some great poupon on puff pastry chef's kiss she is right for that let me say something about Ina and I feel like maybe it's unfair to say it just about Ina I think it's any are you gonna drag her by her hair I'm not because her hair is not long enough for that but what I'm gonna say is and I think that if you were to watch any because me and Ben just got like obsessed with Ina her show was on max we must have watched in the last two weeks like 25 episodes of her show it's short it's 25 and so you just watch a lot of her so I don't think it's specific to her I think you would find this with any chef but like like she's kind of quirky like I feel like her food actually just tastes good because it's all butter and salt like that's it anything is good if you put a whole stick of butter and a gallon of salt in it she garnishes everything with more salt and that's like her catchphrase she's like a little bit more salt because you can never have enough actually you can uh it's called high cholesterol like she's just sort of like I don't know I feel like is her food good or is it just the butter well I will say everything that I've made from one of her cookbooks has been good and I don't go for like the butter heavy recipes but last night's hot dog in puff pre-she was extremely decadent like I had a two-thirds of one and that was as much as I could have but it was it was a special treat for sure of course of course but it was really just saying really and i don't think it's specific to i know i'm not being critical of her i'm just even though i feel like a lot of people think me and i have beef because i made fun of her like memoir so endlessly and my husband's in love with her you and i was talking about her yesterday i had people over not to rub it in um and we were talking about i know and i forget what we were saying but it came up like your thoughts like on her and how like you literally dragged her to filth the last time we talked about every time we talk about her like every time I tried to be like her memoir is exciting well it's a bad name first of all and second of all I think ever since Martha Stewart like said that thing about Ina not fucking with her going after going to prison I just realized like that's Ina's not the type of girl I would ever be friends with she's not the girl you thought she was she's not the girl I thought she was and that's not my fault that's Ina's fault I agree great great now without further a do that do that do it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by The Flip-Off.

29:58We've got something super exciting to talk about. The premiere of HGTV's buzzy new series, The Flip-Off. And trust us, as experts on the matter of Tariq El Moussa, you do not want to miss this one. Christina Hack and Tariq were married. You guys know they're the king and queen of flipping shows. And then they got divorced. But now, after 10 years of history and drama and a couple of new marriages, these exes are ready to face off to prove who's the best flipper around in The Flip-Off. It's Tariq and his new wife, as we all know, Heather El Moussa, flipping against Christina, and their goal is to flip a house with the biggest payoff.

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34:35Oh, I haven't sung in the studio yeah let's hear like what the just let's get a quick like my chicks oh yeah oh it's giving Hannah Montana transitions oh yeah so good I would love to get Hannah Montana transitions like between ad breaks and even stories in this episode like we would have to do them live because okay by the challenge except I will so next time I say are you ready for the next story like every time I say it if you could just remember to do a little ditty oh yeah parch our first story little football news the chiefs and eagles are going to the super bowl the eagles triumphed over the ross washington's and the chiefs beat the bills sorry but they don't even deserve the name ross washington sorry the way they played like crud sorry don't come for me fans like it was not giving commanders it was giving it was giving the Washington you know what I don't want to come for like it's gonna give me I'll say it I'll say it it's even the Washington losers like my god ever heard of catching a ball yeah really bad they lost by like 25 points but like the commanders were never going to the Super Bowl like I feel like we could have called that but you good luck telling their fans that last week no like the team named commanders they don't even know who they are it doesn't elicit that sort of like Super Bowl energy it really doesn't so they're not going to the Super Bowl like as you would think and the Chiefs did beat the Bills which after the Eagles beat the Commanders I was by the way I didn't watch a lick of either game but I was then like hoping for the Bills to win more even though typically I wouldn't have cared just to like do something different Eagles v Bills yep so I watched both games in full the birds are fighting it was clear from day one like minute one that the Bill the Eagles were going to be winning that game so it was like okay who are the Eagles going to play and I also was rooting for the Bills one just to change it up and two because I heard a statistic about the bills that Ben told me that actually made me like want to cry for them like they deserve it okay first of all they have never won a Super Bowl which is just kind of crazy like they had OJ you know they're like not like a losery unknown team like they're always like making waves but they have been three times or maybe even four Jackie they went in 1990, 91, 92, 93 and they lost every single time and then this would have been their chance to go and they're not even getting to go because I also feel like getting to go is really major even if you don't win like obviously winning the Super Bowl goals but like getting to play at the Super Bowl is a goal as well huge um so yeah by then I was sort of rooting for the Bills but like the Chiefs these days like they're just the Patriots like they are just that team they are the best team they're not like winning by chance at this point the greatest in the league and I'm happy for the Eagles to have another shot at the Chiefs I feel like they wanted the Chiefs to win so that they can like have that moment I feel like they might even let Jason Kelsey play in the game or be on the sidelines but the thing is and sorry like don't come for me Eagles fans because I respect you and I and I like I understand your desire but based on just what I know like it's not even a question the Chiefs are going to win again because look at like the games they played last night and that's what I don't like about these two divisions because I feel like based on merit the Super Bowl should have been the Chiefs and the Bills like they were the best teams in the league this year so the fact that like the Bills don't even get to go kind of sucks and like I think that if the Eagles played the Bills they would have lost do you know what I mean yes I do know what you mean and so odds are they're rolling into the Super Bowl having played no offense Washington like this big team of losers like who seriously could have got arrested if they tried and like yeah they won by so many points it's like not impressive like if I played a preschooler yeah I would win also so I think that like they they're coming in like thinking they're hot shit and the Chiefs like the Chiefs play the Bills like they earned hard it was a three game three point game like they earned it last night so I feel like it's not even a question of who's gonna win and I just want to say like no hate to anyone involved I'm so bored I'm so bored like how many times have I seen the Eagles play the Chiefs like a thousand times like give me someone new and I understand that's how it works like when you're building dynasties it's like I get it I get it but just as a consumer who's like purely showing up for entertainment purposes like I am bored I agree I think odds are the Chiefs will win like based on stats and skill but like sometimes people have an off game and sometimes people have this team doesn't sorry they literally don't someone could get injured god forbid you know I don't want that to happen but sometimes like sometimes the juju is off and that's what the Eagles have to hope for they have built in contingency plans because I feel like earlier in the year Travis was kind of stinking it up and they like kept winning because they have such a good team they other alternates like they're stacked they have you know plans in place for these kinds of things for injuries and lack of juju and i also want to say so not only do they need lack of juju the eagles want it more yes and that maybe for that reason they could win like they are the underdog what does jason kelsey say hungry dog is gonna eat like they might win because of that because they're hungry they might they're hungry i just i think i've seen this film before and i don't know it's just not hitting in the way that it did the first time around like i loved seeing taylor on the field right um but it wasn't as crazy it's just like she belongs there now you know yeah she's like girl get down there even the last time we were like we were like there's no way she's gonna be on the field and then she went so yeah i don't know i just i was like hoping for something new maybe like hailey steinfeld's on the field you know yeah was she at the game last night did you see her i don't know i went to her social media and she doesn't post as like a wag ever yeah Her social media is extremely business promotional, which I really respect.

40:07She is this global superstar, but not even on her stories, like wearing an off-season puffer from Kristen Juszczyk. Like I saw none of it. Yeah, but I feel like she was definitely there as the fiance. I don't think anything called her away, but yeah, she's pretty low key. She is. So I don't even know if we would have seen her on the field. I feel like we would have, and we were robbed of that, but it is exciting like for the girlies. Lur will be at the Super Bowl. Like who's going to be in the box with her? This whole thing again. But yes, we have seen this film before, but we liked the movie.

40:38So the movie that we liked got a sequel. A sequel. I read a statistic that was like Taylor's been to 22 Chiefs games and they've won 19 of them. That's just like so crazy. Yeah. Jessica Simpson is like crying when she read that. A thousand percent. Like whatever the opposite experience of Jessica that Jessica had, Taylor's currently having. Yes. But I also think like Taylor goes to all the home games and don't people just statistically win more home games? yeah that's true she does go to a lot not to say that she's not his good luck charm of course and everyone wants to play better when lorries in the room it's definitely and they are also just like a dynasty they're just a good team she picked like a maybe she dates travis because he's on the best team and that's why the best team keeps winning because it's the best team it would have been impressive if she like started dating someone from the cleveland browns and all of a sudden they're at the super bowl you know like that's impressive yeah she's just like you know shooting fish in a barrel yeah no but travis only got a date with her because he's on the best team she wasn't dating someone from the jets right right not to bring the jets into this they've been through a lot i'm just bringing everyone into it so people can't say like charity you're so mean to like the detroit fans oh bitch i'm mean to everyone and also i think you're mean to all the fans of the nfl because they're all crazy they're all so crazy and it's also funny they're All the elk of crazy people, like in a different way than other crazy people.

41:57But like people get so bent out of shape. Although I will say, because I do think like a lot of the times people's reactions are so crazy. I did last night, like I did really feel for the Bills fans, mostly because like I love Josh Allen. I really relate to somebody with old tweets. And I just, I love him. And I think he's really sweet. And I think he like works really hard. And he does all that he can. He didn't mess up, you know? Like, I just want to say, I'm not a football expert, but I know that there's, like, a group of people whose job it is to protect the quarterback. And they had obviously, like, lost their vision or something because they were just doing a terrible job last night.

42:33Like, he did all that he could. Nobody had, like, one big error. I felt bad for them. They played, they fought hard. They played a good game. And isn't that sometimes worse than just, like, losing by a ton and, like, you never stood a chance? Like, you were this close. Is Bruno choking? Is he okay? Oh, classic Brody. This close. What is it? lambo no that's that's something else lombardi they don't get lamborghinis when they win no no lambo field is the packers and the lombardi trophy is the big football that they get if they win the super bowl and travis saying again um he said he's saying do a little dance make a little love get down tonight that's what i'm saying like everything is just like kind of giving repetitive i literally i guess simulation yeah because nobody nobody like recalled back to him he said do a little dance make a little love and then he basically gave the microphone to the crowd to say get down tonight and they didn't realize what was happening so it was like get down tonight it was just like a little awkward yeah and it's just i always forget that that's his personality i know because he's so serious on the field like except when he's you know doing his end end game end zone dance yeah I wanna be an end game.

43:46Well, that's our Super Bowl two weeks. The big game. We'll see who it's gonna be. Though at this point, like, I don't care so much. Yeah, no, at this point, I kind of know. And Chiefs v. Eagles was really fun when it was Brothers Bowl. The Kelsey Bowl. Brothers Bowl. Yeah. Without Jason, it doesn't hit the same. Agreed. Hashtag bring back my Jason. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. How quickly they forget. Where's my transition? Ooh, yeah. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Erica Jane's son, Tommy Rizzo, Tommy Zizzo Jr. testifies at ASAP Rocky's trial. So yeah, this is really just a who's who of Hollywood and showing what a small town it can be.

44:32It's so true. It's so random. And I think when people read the headline, you're like, what? But then you hear the facts. It's like actually not that crazy. Yeah. Thomas Zizzo Jr., an LA police officer and son of erica jane people don't realize because he's not on the show but she has a son and he is a police officer in la and he took his last name is not jade or gerardi so you would never know that they're related it's zizzo he took the stand on friday during day one of asap rocky's trial tmz reported asap faces two counts of assault with a semi-automatic firearm related to a 2021 shooting incident in hollywood he is accused of firing two or three shots at terrell Efron a childhood friend according to the AP Efron claims the alleged shots grazed his knuckles the rapper has pleaded not guilty and he faces up to 24 years in prison if convicted the officer Zizzo was one of the first LAPD officers to respond to the scene of the alleged 2021 incident while on the stand he testified about what he saw at the scene when he arrived okay so yeah he was just like a cop a part of a trial like cops do trials all the time yeah it just so happens that this is a high profile trial and that the person you know on the stand has a wife who's obsessed with housewives like that's the funny part and people were like I wonder if bad gal Riri still follows Erica on Instagram she does I don't even I feel like she probably wouldn't have put this together until the internet did it's so random it's true I don't think she would have put it together how could she unless someone had told her like but who would even who would know such a thing so yeah I don't see how this like changes anything of Rihanna Stanhood like he's just doing his job and do you think that ASAP's lawyer could use this as like some sort of leverage to like for a mistrial like it's it's it's not a conflict of interest in any way but like a lawyer maybe could spin it like that no I think in Hollywood like the odds that two people in a trial have a connection to fame are not crazy yeah yeah the judge has seen it before but i guess then like if anybody on the trials i mean on the jury is like a huge fan of housewives like they would have to recuse themselves perhaps but they won't know that they can't like consume content about this trial so i don't think they would know this right right it's also kind of like low-key no one's talking about asap rocky like being on trial for like kind of egregious crimes right i didn't realize that it doesn't add up it doesn't add up like i don't know it's giving it's giving he's framed like what i know about him from you know being rihanna's you know boyfriend being happy to play supportive partner and a doting father and husband partner yeah right people who are like supportive partners and like let the women in their lives make way more money than them and like are so proud of them they just don't go around shooting people they just don't they don't choose their childhood friends no they don't like it's just it's incongruous with the man that I've sort of become come to know yeah so I'm on his side we're now on watch for this trial because also for two reasons now right of course it would have been news regardless that's the thing about Bravo it is like connected to everything it's just there's always a Bravo connection uh Katy Perry suing the 1-800 flowers guy it turns out to be Cameron Westcott's father in law like it's just it's crazy yes but I also think it's because the housewives are notable people or their families are notable like that's why they're housewives because they are yeah connected oh speaking of housewives did you see boz from uh boz excuse me from real housewives of beverly hills had a birthday party in new york and dorit flew from la to be there like all the roney women were there she was like posting and then she was like my girl dorit flew in from la oh so cute i was like oh these two are like real friends no i didn't see that why'd she have it in new york i don't know maybe she has like a lot of friends in new york or she just happened to have been in New York but Dorit flew and they like were posting such cute pictures love love no I'm obsessed with their friendship apparently when I asked last week if who was on watch what happens live apparently it was Bose and Dorit was in the audience and or their best friends yeah I don't know if Dorit was in the audience wait but she was saying that she was defending Dorit like at every turn like I would have loved it so now I gotta go watch I have them all recorded yeah no I'm telling you I had a good feeling about her when she showed up and it's nice to be right finally about something oh my god speaking of not being right about something and I'm not saying that we're not right but like things are taking a turn with justin baldoni do you find did you see the video of justin baldoni on the beach at tmz like back grid um got like a video of him playing with his kids in the ocean like he's on vacation in hawaii no i saw that he was on vacation anybody like going into the ocean to like frolic it's so unattractive like there's no cool way especially like the really choppy hawaii waters like there's no attractive cool way to like dive into the ocean but he like does this jump as like a wave is like pulling out and he literally just like hits the deck like it's on tmz's instagram highly recommend watching it just made me giggle but yes i agree things are not looking good for blake lively and those who defended her having said that i still haven't changed my mind i'm just like being quiet about it because i'm really not in the mood to deal with it but yeah they were just subpoenaed to turn over all their personal text messages ryan and blake right and that regardless of how it plays out in a legal sense of like what um the crimes the crimes it's not going to be good however you talk to your husband been about your co-worker that you don't like oh my god it's not gonna look good from like a public perception sort of thing so when I saw that I was like this is gonna be really bad I also just feel like you also know she texts weird with her Khaleesi right right no like it's not gonna be good and it's not gonna look good for her and I feel like a lot of people are really turning and now that the yeah case has turned like criminal not criminal but not no longer civil where it's like really they're going to trial like I think things are starting to look really bad I know I'm like kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop all this stuff has happened she hasn't responded at all like legally or like so I'm feeling like does she have this big thing in her arsenal that's going to end it or is she just like rolling over and taking it also I thought there was like some sort of law against I know you can't you don't have to testify against a spouse legally if you're married like that is a protected thing so I'm shocked to find that like you would have to fork over like under what grounds would I ever have to give my text messages with my husband you know what I mean yeah it's so it's kind of egregious like even for anyone like you I don't know I I'm not understanding the legality of it I'm sure they're like if the judge said they have to do it that there's a reason but I feel like it's I've never heard of that yeah no that's why when i saw that i was like well damn that's there's no way those are gonna be good they're screwed they're screwed they're screwed even if it doesn't prove anything in a court of law just like seeing them oh my god look good reading two people who are like in a marriage of you know multiple years seeing their communication is going to be crazy but two people of notable fame and wealth and lots of connected friends and just who we've gotten a window into how like blake speaks and it's weird um like i i'm just thinking about like if anybody ever read my text messages with ben the other day i thought he finished the cream cheese i was standing in the fridge writing probably the nastiest text message i've ever sent to anyone because it's like i know ben likes cream cheese but i'm the one who's been stocking up on cream cheese because no you go through a lot of cream cheese when you're pregnant every morning yeah yes i have a bagel every single morning and honestly when you have a bagel every morning you go through like a thing of cream cheese like after like seven days so when ben eats it and finishes it like you leave me without cream cheese like at least tell me i'll buy more so i was writing such an i'm like the fact that you would disrespect like i was really being so crazy and thank god right before i sent it i saw the cream cheese was right in front of me um but like that's just how you know married people talk no it's gonna be crazy to see how they talk about justin because think about also how you just talk about other people in your personal like my enemy how they talk about justin it's not gonna look good for them but then also it's gonna be a window into how they talk to each other which you know could be bad could be good be anything they're just like a couple who prefers to like communicate in person more like oh we'll talk about it when i get home yeah all my texts my husband are like truth please popcorn please so the paper please bruno needs to go out no stride clock please i'm like talk to texting when i'm really mad in the back of a number i'm like and that fucking fat bitch said to me like i like i sometimes i can't wait like to like unload it on to Ben in person I have to send it via text message so I I truly I don't think they could have received a worse like order they should they would have said you know what we'll go to prison for a year like this will be so bad yeah I'm seriously wishing them well that's horrible yeah same and I do feel like things are are really negative um so we shall see we shall see are you ready for our next story number three oh yeah gracie abrams is blasting a fan petition to replace to replace dora jar as her tour opener if you never heard dora jar before like it's okay i'm with you dora jar i was like dora what i it was a lot so anyways gracie abrams has an opener for her tour named Dora Jarr.

53:47And I guess - Pop off. What? Pop off, Dora. Yes. I guess some of her fans like didn't know who Dora Jarr was and they weren't excited about that. So they started a petition to replace the opening act for her upcoming tour dates and Gracie has now responded. Anyways, the petition was on change.org calling for Jarr. Her real name - Where real change happens. Her real name is Dora Jarkowski, which sounds like is she jewish i don't know but to our jar yeah calling for her to be replaced the petition has now been deleted um but it read in part that says quote many fans including myself and myself being a person named dexter morgan these are all names you guys dexter morgan we are baffled by the recent announcement we are perplexed as we do not recognize her and with less than two weeks till the tour it's virtually impossible to familiar ourselves with her slow paced songs for a memorable concert experience an opening act should set the mood and get the crowd excited but dora's slow tempo songs may not achieve this goal this can't be real jackie i'm so glad we're talking about this and i'm so glad that this happened because i feel like it really proves a thesis of mine from the last couple of years where like stan hood is a true mental illness yeah anybody who would put this together write it and then publicize it is actually a danger to society.

55:15I don't know what they thought was going to happen, but I imagine they thought that Gracie would see this, be like, oh my God, my fans don't like it. And she would cancel on this girl just to appease these crazy people. And the sense of entitlement that that reflects is genuinely that of like a true narcissist sociopath. Like I believe when you get really involved in stan culture, it can actually affect your mental health. And this is what we're seeing on change.org right now like this is so crazy it's so rude and first of all do you know what an opener is this isn't Coachella where you know everyone an opener is someone who opens somebody who's less than less famous less successful so it's their opportunity to get to know it's like a platform I don't know what you obviously don't understand like what a concert is but seriously I wish Gracie would honestly have been a little bit more harsher with these people I know she wants to be nice to her fans but sometimes fans need to be yelled at I love that video of Halsey coming out screaming at everybody yeah so she commented on an instagram post about this and said just hearing about this absolute ridiculousness so wildly uncool and bizarre and also just does not remotely add up i've only seen everyone's total excitement and i couldn't be luckier or prouder to share a stage with this talented wonder stream everything she's ever made whether or not you're coming to the show dora forever and era so she said do strong is what she said she said this one's for do this one's for do i like that she was like you know i she tackled it head on she like put them in their place and stood up for her girl dora i would stand up for dora because like these types of like stands are like that's what you want right these are the types of people who you know show up they rush the barricade they buy tickets like that's for every pop artist like you want that sort of crazy fan but then you also have to deal with this like this is seriously so crazy and so disrespectful and so wrong.

57:03And I love that Gracie like stood her ground and I hope she, you know, brings Dora out every show and makes Dora into a star. Yeah. But seriously, people are deeply unwell. Stream Dora, you know? Yeah, put the do on. And I actually - Do what you gotta do. I have to thank Dexter Morgan because I had never heard of Dora Jar. And now - Me neither. One, I've heard of her. And two, I feel compelled to support her artistry. so thanks Dexter you just made her bigger and I love that they like put they they were so proud this it wasn't like anonymous troll behavior like these are like they put their names but don't you feel like Dexter Morgan sounds like a fake name yeah who is Dexter Morgan in this world character right right I'm sure the the what do the Abrams fans call themselves like the Abrahimas like the JJ's the JJ's love that I'm sorry like Gracie Abrams you're so talented like seriously she is we're holding space for two truths she is an epobaby who nbt next big thing like she is yep it um but i just can't ever separate the two which is good like i'm sure she's so proud lost was an amazing show i think i've heard you've never seen it no i'm at it's so good is it like yeah like it's yes worth coming it's like a little silly at the end and i don't think the end for a lot of people myself included like satiated what we were like dying to find out it was a kind of an impossible plane to land for lack of a better metaphor but the show itself me and ben talk about it all the time still okay so good question if i were to like do a show like a whole watch of a show should i do lost or breaking brad brad or breaking bad question honestly they're both good you know there's no wrong way to go okay i think you would like lost better okay and i think for the jj lore i should see lost the only problem i really had with breaking bad was the fact that there wasn't one character i didn't want to choke like i hated them all i hate that feeling i don't want to feel that way i know like skylar the mom the dad breaking bad whatever his name was hated you walter i guess we were supposed to like walter thank you i think we were supposed to like you have you know like i've seen it in my mind's eye a thousand percent are you ready for our next story if it's our next story that's perchance brought to you by ship skis is that it perchance is perchance it is this is for the skiers girls who love to you know we have to introduce you to ship skis because of course we love to ski you guys know we take our annual trip to utah but it's definitely a struggle traveling with all that stuff.

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