Pargiliciousness vs. Fergiliciousness: Monday, March 17th, 2025

32:44what's a million dollars for morale yeah I agree it's actually a really cute thing that they did and I don't think it has to do with the fact that another team wanted him but that's because that's why they like gave him away they're like we don't want him so they shouldn't be mad that someone else does but obviously it's like pretty like it's pretty swirly to like bring him back and like you they usually don't operate on emotions no that's why this is so rare and I think like in general they shouldn't but there's exceptions to every rule and I think that this was a really good exception and the right thing to do and it's a happy ending what do you think this means for sydney warner like she thought she won we talked about this on friday if you guys aren't familiar whoever made this decision hates sydney warner because they just want to make her look like a clown i wouldn't even be surprised if they did this whole experiment as a test for her and she failed failed so if you guys weren't paying attention on friday we talked really briefly there is like a lot of like wife drama over in san francisco when kyle was released um this girl Sydney who was oddly on The Bachelor but is now like a famous wag.

33:41Her husband's name is Fred Warner. He's really good. She was like posting celebratory shit. I mean like it's such a good day. Meanwhile everybody else is posting like montages of them crying and so people were quick to make the connection and it wasn't the first time that she had posted something shady in regards to Kristen Yuschek. But now like not only are they back but like they're hometown heroes. They gave up the money. More money to go to Pittsburgh. Like they are beloved like by the community. And And she kind of showed her cards. Yeah, she showed her cards. Before it was official. She showed her cards.

34:10She should have waited for the ink to dry. Yeah. What a pit do you think she has? I don't know. I feel like she's kind of ballsy. I know nothing about her. First of all, she doesn't get along with everyone. It's not even like she's a victim because she's posting nasty stuff. So she's got to be brazen. Yeah. Maybe she don't give a fuck. And maybe she'll just go back to doing what she was doing, which was not being around the girls. Like, okay. I mean, what's the difference if they hate you a little more and you're still not around them? right right nothing bedroom nothing lost i'm i'm happy that i didn't throw away all my 49ers gear because like i was done you know like what am i rooting for this random team for yeah um what's my personal connection well olivia colpo yeah wait your pregnancy buddy the comments on friday's episode were cracking me up everybody was being like not jackie and claudia bothering the fuck out of kyle you check with their stupid questions while he's clearly going through some like contract negotiations like probably very stressful i want to say i think we were a welcome reprieve from the stressful conversations probably all of his texts were like man what are you gonna do right and then you get this fun text like two morons imagine you're a deer literally prancing along you get a little thirsty you spot a little brook you put your little dear lips down to the cool clear water bam a fucking bullet rips off part of your head your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces now i xia would you give a fuck what kind of pants instead of a bitch you shot you was wearing that was such a good reference kudos to you like really a plus podcasting right there thank you so i feel like that's what it was like for him to get that text and i just want to say like to kyle you're welcome for sprinkling a bit of swirliness in an otherwise stressful week i also want to say to kyle you're welcome i think the pressure from being weenie of the week to the 49ers like definitely added that moves the needle yeah the 49ers like follow me on instagram they're like always commenting on my shit especially because like when me and ben announced our pregnancy our lol um i'm wearing a 49er sweatshirt like it was just because it was the only thing that fit me at the moment like it wasn't you know and i think they like really see themselves like in my journey so it's good for everybody the synergy remains the faithful family and i'm glad we can all stay together yeah also speaking of cute football news you can see josh allen talking about his contract he has like a huge new contract i forgot the exact number but he was asked in an interview like apparently he could have gotten more and they were like why didn't you try and break like Dak Prescott's record for like biggest contract right if he like went to other teams you're saying or like push back like I think he could have negotiated harder and he was like at the end of the day like what's an extra five million dollars like I'm happy to be here I love the bills like menschy behavior okay well that is menschy like I think like when you have 60 mil no I know is that it's so much more and I don't know what I think of something like that but that means like the extra five that can go to the team to like getting better players oh well that's true actually that's a nice way of thinking about it but like for me if that's my man like girl we have bills to pay get back in there not like everyone can have that mentality all the time otherwise it's a bunch of commies on the field but in this situation literally a bunch of commies on the field i'm cracking up but i thought he was like so it was so nice and like no he doesn't need to get the biggest best contract just to say that he has it because it really doesn't make a difference if you got 60 you got 65 he got a six-year deal in 2025 so it's 2025 to 2030 okay six years 330 million cool so yeah i guess at that point maybe that's like 60 a year i just want to say it is so it's 55 a year plus a signing bonus of 56 um what's gtd at sign Is that what you're owed at signing?

37:49Guaranteed to. Oh, guaranteed at signing. Oh, yeah, guaranteed. 147. 147. So he gets like half of it up front. Oh, and then guaranteed like total, like let's say they trade him, but he's still guaranteed 250. Damn. Haley. Let me tell you that Haley Steinfeld. She's a smart cookie. You guys slept on her. That's really crazy. Mazel tov to the Allen Steinfeld family. damn. Yeah. What'd you do with$330 million? To be honest, it's not enough. Oh, I was going to say, like, there are a couple things that I really want that like that would get me. And it would be enough for me. Daino. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you do have to factor in taxes.

38:34So let's say, you know, you're, you're going home with 175 ish. Okay. Well that changes things. Right. And then of course I have to take care of people in my life. Yeah. And then I need to put some away for future generations. And also my money, So I can stop working. It's not fun anymore when you're doing this. But yeah. Yeah, of course. I need like 20 mil cash to like get into right now. As long as we get there. To take a bite out of. Yeah, a couple homes. Yep. Maybe a plane. Maybe a plane. Or maybe just I can charter whenever I want. Yeah, I often like daydream about, you know, what I would do.

39:08Like if I was the type of person who could afford a plane. And I actually think having a plane is more trouble than it's worth. I think it just depends how much you travel. Like some people are always traveling. they should have their own plane waiting for them. I don't need my own plane. I'm not going anywhere that often. I was curious. I could charter. Do you think they took Kim Air to India? I do, but then I wonder why they didn't film because they love filming on Kim Air. So I actually think that they didn't because it's such a long flight and private airplanes, like actually, a lot of celebrities, like when they fly internationally, they have to fly commercial because you stop for refuel.

39:39Her plane is huge, but like, it's not Drake's plane. It's like a 747. It's like a - No, but I think they could fly to India with one stop for refuel. I feel like they would have taken her plane. But when Courtney went to Australia last season, they had to fly commercial because that's too far. Right. But I do think that, I don't think they flew commercial. Even if they didn't take Kim's plane, maybe they chartered like a bigger private plane. Yeah. She did not get on a commercial flight. No, it wasn't. No Air India for Chloe. No, unless like they gave them the whole plane. Correct. Which they might have.

40:08And maybe the. Ambani's. Oh, well that was the other thing. They might have sent a plane for like all the celebrities. Yes. I don't think that Kim and Chloe spent any money being there. I think they were like flown out, put up the dresses, the diamonds from Lorraine. And I actually think when Kim was like, oh, no, I'm going to have to pay for the missing diamond that fell on the floor. I'm almost positive the Ambani's paid for it. Oh, yeah. I don't think anyone paid for it. And like, what's one little diamond in a wedding that literally has diamonds hanging from the ceiling? She could have just grabbed one.

40:36No, for sure. But like that little diamond was like 100 grand. I know. But like when there are a million hundred grand diamonds, like what's 100 grand? Also, they have the whole thing on camera. They could see where we watched it fall. You saw that. Couldn't they just like go on their things and press rewind? They probably didn't see till like the editing room that they had the footage of it falling. Understood. Yeah. That's how I interpret it. I don't know. When there's so many diamonds in the room, like one rogue diamond with all this wealth, like it just didn't seem like a big deal to me. No.

41:09Yeah, I know. But I was like, I found it. They wanted to make it a big deal because like, yeah, that's interesting. Plot. it was also a very good commercial for india the only thing about the episode that bothered me was when kim and chloe went to the market and they're walking down the streets and they're like their dresses and their heels and they can't move and they like can't walk the street and it's raining all these people around them they're that are so stupid like yeah and meanwhile in la she'll wear sweats and sneakers to a grand opening like put on your sneakers put on your sweats and go to the market agreed it was very stressful it was very stressful yeah well i'm happy to say bang bang you know bang bang Niners gang bang bang into the room you know you wanna bang bang all over you I'll let you have it wait a minute let me take you there wait a minute

42:00our next story new couple alert maybe Tom Cruise and Ana de Armas touched down in London together after a helicopter ride oh I didn't feel like this was giving new couple I don't know why I I know that they were together, but like he's so ugly and old and she's so fabulous and young. And she is seeing someone, a very highly controversial figure. Her community actually really turned on her when they found out she's dating like a former dictator of Cuba's son, like somebody really offensive to her community's son. And that was a couple of months ago. I assume they were still together. Well, TMZ is calling this like romance rumors swirling, not confirmed, but like seriously, what are these two?

42:36They could get on different planes. They were flying high for their second public outing this year. Tom and Anna were photographed together after they arrived via helicopter at the London Heliport on Friday. I'm sorry, you don't get on a helicopter with your just random co-worker. I just, I actually refuse to believe this. By the way, Anna DeArmis, run fast for your mother, run fast for your father. She's 36, he's 62, because I know you're wondering. She seems like an older man. I actually wasn't. She seems like an older man. Like, remember Ben Affleck? She wants, like, this established Hollywood guy.

43:05That's what she wants. Yeah, I know, but, like, sorry, Tom Cruise is gross I know you think so No no it's not like a feeling I have It's a fact No Claudia like some of our Gen X women listeners Like that's their guy Like that's their Jacob Elordi Excuse me I'm not saying And thank you for pointing that out To the Gen X I'm not saying he's gross because he's old Like there's a lot of baddies Who are that age of that generation No no I didn't think you were saying that I think you're saying he's ugly and stupid His face his brain He's short. Like, seriously, what's to like? If Tom Cruise wasn't a talented actor and he was just a regular Joe Schmo, he would be like divorced alcoholic couch potato, please.

43:50There's nothing desirable about him. Okay. And I can say that. For the Gen X swirlies, we understand. No, no. I'm telling you, Jackie, you're thinking so low of the Gen X swirlies. The Gen X swirlies do not fuck with Tom Cruise. He's so toxic. People fuck. someone somewhere is talking with Tom Cruise because he's the biggest movie star in the world. No, I'm telling you, that's like the mystery. No one fucks with him. So how is he the biggest movie star in the world? He's an industry plant. 1000%. Well, they were spotted at the London heliport and then the airport like back two days in a row. I'm sorry.

44:25Like he doesn't travel with like randos. No, but like you don't think they were cast in a movie together? Even if they were cast in a movie together, like they can travel separately. He's definitely like does his own thing until he shows up at set. You know, I think that there's this is smoky and there's a fire and inferno. Yes, logically, I agree. Like I see the photos, but there is something inside me just stopping me. I am resisting arrest because these two can't possibly. They just can't. Yeah. Well, different strokes for different folks, you know. No. And I do feel like because Anna DeArma stated Ben Affleck, that makes this more legitimate.

45:08Yeah. And if we're going to go back and look at history for references, her having poor taste in men and liking older men, there is proof of that. Ben Affleck, the dictator's son. She's not known for her choices when it comes to romantic partners. So actually, the evidence, the evidentiary support leads me to believe that actually maybe, if I'm looking at this, you know. They're married. Right, as a completely unbiased third party perspective with no particular interest in the matter. Yeah, no, this definitely seems like something she would do. Yeah, think she did. And him, a young ingenue who he can torture, that's his favorite.

45:47Yeah, you will love it. Even though she's, you will love it. Even though she's a little too powerful for him. Like he got his claws into Katie Holmes so early on. She was like a rising star. She was super young. He was really able to control her and bring her into his crazy ass cult. Like, Aneja Armas is one of the biggest movie stars in the world. Like, she's kind of, and she's much older. Well, not much older. She's 36. So, her age works in her favor in terms of, like, having a strong mind. However, in terms of, like, movie star prowess, like, she is slipping. She is slipping, for sure. But she's still up there.

46:23Like, it's not too late for her to turn it around. No, it's not too late. But she's not where she was. No, I always think about that. You know who I think that about all the time? Do you remember Alicia Vikander? Yeah, slipped. There was like a two-year period where like Alicia Vikander was like the face of Louis Vuitton, the face of Swarovski in every movie, Venice Film Festival, Camp Festival. She was clearly on her way to becoming like the next Cate Blanchett or whatever. And then she like got married and disappeared. Well, she married Michael Fassbender and I think she was like, I'm good. Thanks.

46:52So you think it was a choice? I think it was more choice than it was a kick out the door. Yeah. okay i do like it doesn't i don't feel sad okay and it arm us jury's out but she is slipping and i could see why someone would think like tom cruise is the next right move to do the next right thing i i i don't actually that's a pretty good analysis yeah yeah our next story is actually some more new couple news because camilla cabello is dating a billionaire and she's been spotted passionately kissing him in rome rome we don't talk enough about how camilla cabello actually has fabulous tasted men obviously sean mendez like who wouldn't you know this billionaire the dating coach who has a podcast and then that dating app founder who's jewish and hot what's his name yeah which he started locks did he start locks club i think so whatever like hot jewish tech entrepreneur like she kind of always she kind of slays and she always has a boyfriend like you know those girls yes she's like a relationship girl she is and now she's with a billionaire named henry jr chalhoob they couldn't keep their hands off each other during romantic getaways to rome they were photographed passionately kissing and holding hands on friday they stopped to grab coffee i think they were first spotted together in january so this is what she's been up to I love when pop stars have like flings.

48:19It's kind of a rite of passage with like unknown non-famous billionaires. Like remember when Rihanna was low-key dating that Saudi prince? Like that was a really crazy time for her. Yeah. I love this. You know, Janet Jackson very famously also dated a Saudi billionaire. I'm not sure if he was a prince. I love that. You know, it's a kind of a different route of, and you know, they can pay to get you all the places. You know when it's like after dating like a startup founder, you're like, okay, the hustle needs to sleep. Right. But then I think you go to a billionaire who's like generationally wealthy and you're like, okay, I work hard.

48:52Like you sleeping till noon is not going to work for me. Yeah, not the same. And you definitely want to strike somewhere in the middle. But I do think you can toggle between extremes. And when you have something, you want the exact opposite. I feel like that's what Sophie Turner is doing right now with like her unknown aristocratic man. Pellegrino Perrier. Correct. Yeah. that's my favorite yeah I like when people do something different but still chic you got to switch it up especially when you were in the long-term thing and you like know all the things you hate about that person you're like I want something diametrically opposed and then you end up with a bottle of sparkling water when you were in a relationship that was like for Camila Cabello like so Hollywood and like stan culture and like kind of toxic at times like you were performing together like that's fun but it can be really dark um and so there's none of that here with the billionaire like we're just happy on our plane and our yacht and i do feel like for camilla she just put out an album right and the fact that i have to ask like yeah it was definitely like floppy oh and so maybe she just wants to hang up her heels and be a kept take a little bit of a break yeah you know and she wants a man who can support her whether she works nothing wrong with that work or not to work there's nothing wrong with that i am glad to see her platinum blonde hair be gone um she was sort of like made to be a brunette you know yeah i do i do and i think that that that platinum hair had a lot to do with why the music flopped, if I'm being honest.

50:14Kind of how like a pixie cut can ruin an actress's career. A platinum blonde moment can ruin the career of a pop star. I don't know. A pixie cut is like what makes you. Like you're not a certified actress until you cut all your hair off. I don't know. I'm worried about Emma Stone. That's all I'll say. It's worrisome. It's extremely worrisome. Yeah. Well, are you ready for our next story? No. Okay. Piper, no. Is it our next story that's brought to you by Good Ranchers, perchance? Tis. Did you know that over 140 ,000 family farms in the U.S. have closed down since 2017? Well, here's how Good Ranchers is solving that problem.

50:52They are shipping the most premium, the most American-made meat right to your door. So it's 100 % American sourced. Every cut of beef, chicken, pork is born, raised, and harvested right here from local farms in the U.S. So you can support American ranchers while knowing exactly where your meat comes from. It's free from hidden additives. So there's no antibiotics, no added hormones, no seed oils. It's just one simple ingredient that you can read, and that's the meat. It's also, Good Ranchers is kind of known for their farm-to-table transparency. So you are supporting American ranchers. You're getting meat you can feel good about serving.

51:21It's clean, simple, and exactly as it should be. And they're always running really good, fun offers. And so right now you can get free bacon, ground beef, seed oil, free chicken nuggets, or wild-caught salmon in every order for a year, plus$40 off when you shop at GoodRanchers.com with our code TOAST. So again, you're getting trustworthy ingredients that are free from hidden additives with tons of farm-to-table transparency when you shop at GoodRanchers.com. And this fabulous new offer, when you subscribe to any of their boxes, you'll get to decide if you want free chicken nuggets, free bacon, free ground beef, or wild-caught salmon in every order for a year.

51:53Just make sure to use the code TOAST at checkout for that offer, and then you'll also get an additional$40 off your first order, too. It's the best offer GoodRanchers has ever given. You will not find it anywhere else. So to spring into action and help American farms with every purchase, visit GoodRanchers.com now. And remember to use KOTOAST to get that free meat for a year and$40 off. Good Ranchers, American meat delivered. Today's episode is also brought to you by Fora Travel. You know that feeling when you've been traveling for hours, running on airport snacks and airplane sleep, and you finally get to your hotel only to find out that your room isn't ready or worse, they've lost your reservation?

52:24We've all been there, but guess what? That doesn't have to happen when you travel with Fora. If you haven't already heard, travel agents are back in a big way and Fora is the modern travel agency. Redefining what it means to be and book with a travel agent. Fora Advisors have access to the best partners, the best perks, the best training, and the best community in the business. All so that you have the best trip possible. When you book with a Fora Advisor, you get more than just a trip. You get the swirliest version of your trip. Insider access, worldwide room upgrades, late checkouts, resort credits, VIP treatment.

52:53But beyond that, Fora Advisors are a part of something bigger. They're part of a global community of travel experts who share your knowledge, swap recommendations, and help each other unearth hidden gems that fit your vibe. So maybe you're craving a weekend getaway, a much-needed babymoon, or family trip to Mexico. Whatever it is, your 4R advisor cuts through all the noise and delivers a trip that's seamless, effortless, upgraded, and beyond swirly. All you have to do is remember to pack your passport, which for some people is too much, my husband. And if you're thinking, wait a sec, I'm the planner of the group.

53:18I plan and book to the last jizz now. It sounds like you might be a 4R advisor in the making. Join Fora to get the latest training, tools, and support to help you turn your passion for travel into a travel business. So whether you're looking to plan your next trip or start booking for others, check out Fora to experience what it means to travel upgraded. Visit foratravel.com slash toast. Let them know that you came from the toast to start seeing what you've been missing. That's foratravel.com slash toast to let them know that you came from the toast because great travel doesn't just happen. It's planned.

53:45Thank you, planned. You're welcome. Channed. Yeah. Yeah. Our next story. Justin Bieber was spotted at Disneyland with Haley and the kid Leroy. So Justin Bieber and Haley have been. Oh, I thought like the Leroy and him had beef. Well, apparently not. But then I'm wondering why Tate wasn't there. Because like. Oh, she's busy. Why is Leroy third wheeling? Yeah. But Justin and Haley headed off to the happiest place on earth with a great support group. Haley and his buddy, the kid Leroy. La kid. La kid. we're living it up at the California theme park over the weekend. And he posted a bunch of pictures on Instagram.

54:27They went on roller coasters, Mickey ears, et cetera. I mean, this is also like on the heels of like, you know, him posting weird things on social media. People are always, he did, you know, have an off week last week. I don't even like to, I don't like look into it or report on it because nothing ever happens. Like Justin Bieber, but you know what? He's fine. He's a father. He's happy. They're at Disneyland. Like it's always fine. Yeah. I feel like the last few weeks it's gotten like weird. and there was more it was at a higher volume than usual but and then hailey was posting like things on her stories about church and a lot of people thought it was like her leaving church whereas i definitely like understood it as like if i went to church i would find this relatable and funny like she was just commenting on like church culture not like i'm leaving the church i know but for someone who doesn't like post that much especially her innermost thoughts it did feel like that's kind of a big statement you know yeah yeah but seeing them at disney together there's nothing going on that's the thing like smooth things over at least for this flare-up or whatever this was right um they're obviously exactly what it is it's a flare-up they're always together every time people think that they're not together they are always together they're having fun they look well um honestly to me this kind of shines a light on what's going on between laroi and tate wow you think there's trouble in laroya dice laroi and mccray laroi day well she's like busy she just launched an album like i don't think she could just be taking days off i know but you need like you definitely have to take those days off or otherwise you burn out and i know she's like young and maybe she'll learn that the hard way but like it's important when your friends are going to disney that you find that time one day you can everyone can take a day and it's important that you do that for longevity yeah for longevity they're very huberman of you the huberman protocol go to disney with your friends okay by the way it'll be okay ben you You know, Ben is like fake into wellness, right?

56:17Because like he, you know. I know when he was here, because he was saying like in his Eastern medicine, I was like, you're a little Eastern, you're a little Western. He's central. Central. I remember. I watched the episode. Oh, you did? Yeah. Like he gets like fake into herbs and he takes creatine, but like literally like he'll do crack. Like he's like, he doesn't really like go there. He doesn't commit. No, and like he literally lives on Advil and Tums. Yes, actually. He's been trying to pull back, but yes. So he's like very. Advil is his multivitamin. Yeah, he's a big talker, you know? The man loves a cigarette.

56:48He has aspirations. The man loves a cigarette, okay? Yeah, he does. Like, please. He has an alcohol company. But he's always, like, joking about SLIT, the Software Longevity Institute of Technology, where, like, he comes up with these, like, actual fake-ass regiments and protocols and beliefs. And it's so funny. He's always talking about the Software Longevity Institute. Longevity is just a word that makes me laugh and reminds me of that. What's the T for? Well, the T is because the acronym SLEE like isn't as. No, it's SLEE. So this and the Software Longevity Institute of Technology. I really love that.

57:23What are his protocols? His ayahuasca pills. The Gaia herbs. The pulses on your hand when you have a migraine. Oh, that's no, not pulses. What are those things called? Pressure points. Ben loves a pressure point. Like I had a headache the other day and Ben's really gotten into pressure points since I can't take Advil or anything. and I'm such an Advil fiend. Like I'm so looking forward to a few months from now taking Advil again. So he's really gotten even more into finding pressure points for all my various illnesses. Like when I was having my IBS constipation in my first trimester, like he was seriously pressing on like parts of my foot.

57:58It didn't work. But the other day I had the worst headache and there's just nothing you can do, right? He put this pressure point, I think it was in my knee. Oh my God, let me tell you my headache went away. It was really crazy. no I'm you know it pains me to like ever admit that he's right I genuinely don't believe you like that's something I will have to experience for myself because he'll do it he would love to do it for you either it didn't work or you didn't have a headache is like what I think so my belief with the reason that it worked is that it's a little placebo it's like my head was really hurting me but then then there's this big man he broke your knee breaking my knee that like by the time he releases it I'm more focused on the pleasure of my knee being intact than the little pain in my head yeah so it's more about perspective than it is yes that's very eastern too i mean perspective is everything don't we yeah so that's like a big a core tenant pressure points gaia herbs turmeric what are those pills when he gets athletic greens gaia herbs gaia herbs echinacea echinacea that's but it's like this one brand they sell at whole foods it's called Gaia Herbs.

59:03Quick defense. Quick defense! Yes, Ben, if you're ever sick, he'll be like, alright, come here and I'll give you the biggest pile of pills. I'm like, you want me to swallow? I would die if I swallowed all these pills. It's turmeric, it's echinacea. Oh, he loves turmeric. Yeah, he loves turmeric. That's so funny. Well, he should add to Slit, like a day at Disney with your friends. I think it could be healing for a marriage. Like, you'll feel like kids again on the Radiator Springs Racers ride. You'll feel like kids Leroy again you'll feel like kids Leroy so his presence is definitely like confusing especially because you said there's former beef I thought that the two of them because I I don't know I don't know I don't I don't have proof I just remember like things being bad they did the song together yeah and I think like Justin brought him in he was like a scooter brawn like a whole thing and then he left I don't know I just thought there was beef maybe there's not maybe there's not And also time heals all.

1:00:00So true. Especially after the fires. It's like everybody's reevaluating. It's true. So I'm glad they found their way back to each other. That's the real beauty here of the story. Yeah. I feel like actually maybe Haley was the third wheel. But celebs love Disney. We need to talk about like the infantilization of like adults at Disney World. Well, we always talk about Disney adults. We do. But like celebrities. But when celebrities do it, it's somehow like not weird. They love Disney. they're like keeping Disney Anaheim in business and it's like they're not going with their kids it's like people without you know yeah it's so weird yeah well having gone to Disney recently as an adult I do understand yeah but you white people with your children I do understand why people with children would really love going yeah of course that's the whole point why the park was erected yeah no but now it's like Sheena like goes all the time and now she's like by the that's so funny that you said sheena because when you were like celebs love sheena i was thinking sheena kylie loves it too everyone yeah and now like the girl life she always brings the girl gang of like stormaloo and co correct not stoss and co that's a different girl gang yeah i did think you were talking about stoss no that's why i had to clarify stormaloo and yeah are you ready for our fifth and final story like boring trade news that i guess we have to share conan o 'brien will return as the Oscars host in 2026.

1:01:25Not them like thinking they're doing the same thing as the Golden Globes. Like, you loved it? He's back. He has more. Yeah, no. If you really want more. We're all just like still recovering from that awful ceremony that Conan truly added nothing to. He didn't take it away. He wasn't like a bomb. He wasn't Joe Coy. He was just like not funny, not offensive, not anything. So I guess they're happy with the mediocrity. I'm so confused. And yeah, maybe they're just like happy that nobody was yelling at them. I actually saw Oscar's viewer numbers were down, which I feel like they're always down. They trend downwards.

1:02:00They do. They do. So I guess it's not, we're not going to put that on Conan. No, no, that would be unfair. But if Kylie Jenner were hosting, maybe more people would tune in. You know what? Give it to Khloe. She hosted X Factor. She could do it. She like, she's amazing at those things. So she's like, has the personality and the talent. But she can't handle it. And she doesn't like it. She has a lot of anxiety. She doesn't have like the thirst for it, which I appreciate. Like she is happy just where she's at. Doing her thing. Totally. Need not more. Yeah. Like Kim would want to host it. And that wouldn't be very good.

1:02:34So back to Conan. Like, okay. Okay. I think how they thought we were going to receive this. How we are. Like, okay. Yeah. It would have been fun to do something new. New is always exciting. I feel like there's so many good options. Unless like there's somebody who crushes it so good and like you can't wait to get more of them, Nikki Glaser. Or sometimes it's like two people will present together and they had such chemistry that it inspires them to be chosen next. You're like, that's fun. But so to bring or like somebody like Ricky Gervais, right? Like there's always excitement, tension. Conan doesn't have that.

1:03:11Like what Conan has is that he's like a likable, affable guy. No, and here's the thing. Herein lies the issue. The people who are going to watch the Oscars, no matter who the host is, are the same people who are excited that Conan is hosting, right? He is not bringing in any new viewers. New viewers. Okay, so they're pandering to their base. Yeah, but if you want to bring in new people, actually a really great option would be like Shane Gillis. He's hosted SNL twice in the last year. He has a huge following. He's so funny. He feels like Ricky Gervais-y, where he'll come in and like read The Room to Filth and do it really funnily.

1:03:43yeah but the thing about Ricky Gervais is that he's like one of those rogue comics who has like the approval of Hollywood like he's done movies he's done film he's like kind of really regarded and respected whereas like Shane Gillis I think like the Oscars would see as like a fringe radical comedian the people in the room but for the viewers we would love it and I feel like he's he's really talented he's really funny but I feel like he's also professional because he's taking on these like bigger more traditional things and I feel like he could walk that line I do yeah I mean I would love to see it although I don't know like is his specialty in terms of like he comments on like culture but I feel like he doesn't do like a lot of like Hollywood or popular culture like Ricky Gervais is sort of known for his takes like on Hollywood which is why it's so appropriate whereas I feel like Shane Gillis like doesn't know who any of these people are and doesn't give a fuck yeah you know what I mean yeah I feel like he'd sooner get like the Golden Globes the Oscars are so so serious yeah which is why when ricky gervais did it it was so crazy and they don't want to rock the boat they're really not interested no so that's conan like we're there honestly i did the golden globes though so it's not oh he did the oscars oh i'm sorry i thought he did the oscars no it's not apples to apples yeah and it's just so funny when you think back on like the big scandal of kevin hart at the oscars because like now like kevin hart doing the oscars it's like literary charity he's the biggest movie star in the world but at the time it was like such an honor And like, I get it.

1:05:08You know, you want that sort of notch in your belt. But like, that would seriously be a waste of Kevin Hart's time. Yeah. I don't think there's anyone that they would choose who's going to be exciting to us. Period. It's true. It's just not for us, I guess. Okay. It's for the Conan stands. Now, if you want to take your helmet off for two seconds, I have a couple of things I want to say about White Lotus. I'll do a brief TV recap. We'll do an official one tomorrow or whenever you watch it. Okay. But take your helmet off. Ta-ta for now. Okay, you guys know I've been like kind of a huge hater of White Lotus because it's literally boring.

1:05:38This was actually a good episode. I feel like it was like really White Lotus-y. Loved to see Leslie Bibb's husband, Sam Rockwell, very famous actor. A lot of people don't know that. Leslie Bibb, who's a part of like the three-girl group gang with the short blonde hair, the Republican from Texas. Her husband in real life is Sam Rockwell. And he was in last night's episode playing the guy talking to Rick in Bangkok about how he like pretends he's a little Asian girl. I don't know like that whole conversation where I was not paying attention um that's her husband I just loved that um also I just loved like uh the partying scenes like that's really fun I get a lot of anxiety watching people take drugs so like seeing the two brothers take drugs like gave me a pit I just hate watching I like I don't like doing drugs I don't like seeing people do drugs it just like gives me a lot of anxiety um but that scene like with them on the boat and then also the other party with uh Valentin and his friends and the three girls like that was really fun.

1:06:29It was very White Lotus-y, just like very doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. I like that a lot. The one thing I had an issue with is I did not need to see the two brothers kiss. Call me crazy. I just don't like incest. I thought it was gross and weird. I know they're not brothers in real life, so it's not a big deal, but they're brothers in my mind. At first, it was like a tiny pic. I was like, okay, fine. But then they made them kiss a couple of times, and it was French. It was just weird.

1:06:59and then the Ratliff family. I just love these two. The dad, oh my God, Jason Isaacs. He gives me such a pit. When he was about to blow his brains out, I was seriously like, don't do it, don't do it. He's such a good actor. Oh my God, Parker Posey. She had so many good one-liners. When she thought she was in Taiwan, she was like, we are in Taiwan. What? When she said to her daughter that her daughter can be Buddhist because she's not Chinese. She's seriously so funny. The writing for her character is so good. She obviously really made it what it is, but the writing is very good. It's very funny.

1:07:28and like I get the character that she's supposed to be portraying, this like old southern lady. So last night's episode actually really made me like a lot of the characters. Belinda having a lizard in her room and thinking the whole time that there was like a murderer in her room is so turdy-coated. I really related to her in that moment. And her and Pornchai like sleeping together, obsessed. GuyTock, the brain-dead security guard who's in love with Mook, like being so stupid, he knows that Jason Isaacs took the gun. He's like standing around watching Mook dance, It's like, bitch, go get your gun.

1:07:59Annie, get your gun. He was being so helpless and stupid. He was pissing me off. Those are just my initial thoughts. When Jackie watches the episode, we'll do a bigger breakdown. But you can put your helmet back on. You can put your helmet back on. You can put your helmet back on. Helmets on. Do I need my mouth guard? Huh? It's like sports. Mouth guard. Oh, oh, no. Just make sure to put your shin guards on. Whatever. My jock's drop. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else you want to chat about? Did you hear me say that? I did. You're booming. It's kind of a good reference. This was booming. You'll get it once you see the episode.

1:08:40Yeah. Can't wait. Actually, I can very much wait. No, it was a good episode. No, nothing happened again, but it was like finally, like what White Lotus is known for, right? Like there's nothing happening, but like these people are interesting and funny and they're doing weird things and the plot isn't moving, but it's funny and they're all saying funny things. okay that's fine by me i'm looking forward like i'm very exhausted for my big weekend so much socializing because i knew so many people and so many right so many new faces social butterfly and like so many like people like i have mutual friends with faces because like there was a girl there who's you sound like somebody hosting like a freshman orientation lots of new faces no but let me explain why i'm saying new face because there was a girl there who was like dana's one of dana's other best friends who i've never met but dana talks about her a lot so of course we to QNECT.

1:09:25Were you feeling territorial? Not at all. Dana should be worried because we're best friends now. That's like the worst feeling for Dana. We sent her a picture. There's nothing worse than like your two random friends like meeting up and hitting it off. We had so much in common. She's obviously. Okay yeah like let me just go kill myself. Like your camp friend and your college friend. Oh god that's terrible. As I said new faces. Correct. And new places. I am now I would say my number one pregnancy symptom is sweating. I cannot stop sweating. Is that normal? The vest doesn't help. They were real that day I wore a vest.

1:10:02They were real that day I wore a vest because that vest was disgusting. This vest is from Amazon. Like it's not, it's really this undershirt from Skims. It's just like decorative. It's purely decorative. I understand. But like I wake up from a nap. I wake up from my sleep. I get up at, like I am sweating everywhere I go. It's really annoying me. So if you see me in the street like and I smell, just know I'm doing everything to combat it. I'm showering multiple times a day I'm wearing so much deodorant So much dry shampoo If you see Claudia in the street And she smells You're too close to her How about that?

1:10:30Oh no no I thought you were going to say this If you see Claudia in the street And she smells No you didn't Well that too But no Why don't you take a step back She won't smell anymore So true That's a you problem No like literally I'm sweating I don't think anyone In the Like anyone sane Would ever judge a pregnant woman For smelling Like I wouldn't even clock it I wouldn't be like Oh she was smelling Like I literally, I'm like, that's none of my business. It's so true. She has a lot going on. Like I feel like myself, we won't even register it. Yeah. Consider my nostrils stuffed. Closed for business.

1:11:06That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know from Monday to Friday on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe. We're going to give you a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast where your podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, I already cast box all the places to visit a podcast. Find us a Toast the Monday Morning Show about a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.