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The Toast

Slay The Dragon, Save The Princess: Wednesday, April 30th, 2025

30 Apr 2025 · 1 h 8 min
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Podcast Episode Notes: The Toast - "Slay The Dragon, Save The Princess" (April 30, 2025)

Episode Overview In this episode of *The Toast*, hosts Jackie and Claudia Oshry cover a variety of celebrity news and pop culture commentary. Key topics include Sydney Sweeney's rumored relationship, Meghan Markle's insights about her marriage, updates on a new *Desperate Housewives* offshoot, Katy Perry's response to backlash, and Brittany Cartwright's comments about Jax Taylor on *Watch What Happens Live*.

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Key Topics Discussed

  1. Sydney Sweeney and Brandon Sklenar
  2. Rumored Relationship: Sydney Sweeney was spotted getting close to her co-star Brandon Sklenar at Stagecoach music festival.
  3. Background Info: Both are working together on a project, and there are speculations about their relationship status.
  4. Public Interest: The hosts express excitement over this coupling, noting Sweeney's rising star power and previous relationships.
  1. Meghan Markle's Podcast Appearance
  2. Statement: Meghan Markle referred to Prince Harry's role in their marriage as "slaying the dragon" to save the princess.
  3. Personal Reflections: She discusses themes of self-worth and marriage, stating they’ll remain together despite rumors of divorce.
  4. Public Perception: The hosts critique Meghan's public persona, arguing that while she is consistent in her messaging, it can come off as cringeworthy.
  1. *Desperate Housewives* Offshoot
  2. New Project Announcement: A *Desperate Housewives* offshoot titled *Wisteria Lane* is in development by Kerry Washington and Natalie Chiades.
  3. Concerns: Jackie and Claudia express skepticism about the production, given the absence of original creators and the potential dilution of the beloved original series.
  4. Original Cast Involvement: The lack of involvement from original cast members and creators raises doubts about narrative authenticity.
  1. Katy Perry's Online Backlash
  2. Social Media Commentary: Katy Perry discusses feeling "battered and bruised" by online criticism but maintains a positive outlook.
  3. Mental Health: She reflects on therapy and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance in the face of negativity.
  1. Brittany Cartwright on *Watch What Happens Live*
  2. Comments on Jax Taylor: Brittany shades Jax's sexual skills, stating he was a 'two or three' most of the time.
  3. Insight into Relationship Dynamics: Brittany’s candid comments illustrate the complexities of her past relationship with Jax and share her newfound empowerment post-divorce.
  4. Controversies: Discussion of Jax's past behaviors and Brittany's ongoing journey to redefine her identity post-relationship.

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Recap of *The Valley*

  • Character Dynamics: The hosts analyze the interpersonal conflicts among the cast, particularly focusing on Jesse's poor treatment of Michelle and Danny's inappropriate behavior while drinking.
  • Group Dynamics: Discussion of the group chat, where personal drama unfolds, and the implications of public vs. private behavior among cast members.
  • General Sentiment: Both hosts express frustration with the characters' decisions, juxtaposing moments of humor with more serious implications of their actions.

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Conclusion This episode of *The Toast* delivers a mix of pop culture commentary, personal stories, and critical analysis of celebrity behavior. The hosts maintain their signature humor while navigating complex topics like mental health, relationship dynamics, and the evolving landscape of television.

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Additional Information

  • Hosts: Jackie Oshry (@JackieOshry), Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob)
  • Patreon and Merch: Listeners are encouraged to support the podcast via Patreon and check out their merchandise.
  • Sponsorships: The episode includes sponsorship messages for brands such as Huggies, Roback, and Stamps.com.

Note: This summary captures the essence of the episode while highlighting key discussions and themes relevant to the topics covered.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

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Transcript

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0:20I sound amazing. welcome back to the chosen happy hump day hey bruto how you doing bruto is doing good the brutalist bruno has just really been showing up to work putting in the effort ever since he saw rodeo was getting top billing he said yeah don't forget i am the number one guy in this group don't forget i would say everything once first i would you say yeah no i fucked that up what you said it's a tic tac i was his everything once first i had no i was once his every like what does a tic tac sound everything once first first ones i was once and don't you forget i was whatever it's from a movie i think it's julia roberts classic classic well bruno is my everything once first and i'm so excited that he's here to celebrate hump day and to celebrate the mama merch drop day as I am Bruno's mama and we are so excited because our mama collection and our toasty bebe collection dropped it's already sold out but it is available for pre-order at shoptoastmerch.com the mamas came through strong this morning and the thing is mamas are capable because we didn't have the usual issue where everybody heads to shopchanel.com you know that happens a lot when we do merch launches people see and they're like immediate thought is to go to like hermes.com or shopchanel.com and it's so confusing because our website's actually shoptoastmerch.com.

1:49And I know how confusing that can be. But moms are, you know, built tough. They're different. So we didn't have that issue. Right. They've been through a lot. Like we didn't have that issue this morning, which was actually really nice. Yeah, they're able to keep like simple facts to keep their facts straight, you know, because they're juggling a lot at once. Yeah, like, you know, how many ounces, how many diapers, last time bath, like shoptoastmerch.com. It kind of just rolls off the tongue. Yeah, so shout out to the mamas. Let's hope everyone gets what they want and you can pre-order. And you know what I want?

2:22Jordan. Yes. I get what I want. And this winter break, I want Jordan. I would literally only have Megan Fox on the podcast just to make her do that. Like, I think she would be some people's dream guest. That's why she wouldn't come on. She's not the elk of that. No, she wants to talk about like, you know, whatever it is that she's doing. I want to talk about Holiday in the Sun. It's true. Get what I want. And this is what I rank. I want Jordan. It's funny how we don't think of Megan Fox as like a child actress, even though like Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Holiday in the Sun, she was probably like 16.

2:58A teen actress. Yeah. But I don't even think of her like that. I just think of her as like a famous woman. Yeah. But not child because like she definitely came to us in her teens. She was, she still is, but a very talented young woman. Yeah. She is very talented. Because she was such a bitch in both movies. Like she was really typecast as like the bully. She never played like a nerd. And I couldn't help but wonder like was she like that in real life or she's just that good of an actress? Well, I think she can't be put in a box if you were to ask her. If you were to ask her. I don't think that she would answer that question.

3:31I don't think she would like it. Well, that's why she's not coming on a podcast. I don't think she would like any of our questions. You will love it. You will hate it. Literally. So funny. I was like sweeping yesterday. I've been like sweeping really crazy and people are like, oh, she's nesting. No. When you take the nest and throw it out the window. Like, no, nesting like implies that you used to not be this way. Like I've always been this way. Like turbo sweeper mode. That is the nesting. I guess I'm only in turbo sweeper mode because I have a deadline, right? Like once the baby comes, like I'm not gonna be able to be sweeping all the time.

4:07So I got to get all my sweeping done for the next couple of months. It's the elk of nesting. It's your version of nesting, I do think. It's my version of nesting. But people are like, how sweet. She's nesting. You should see me. Like seriously throwing everything away. I did my kitchen yesterday, which I've already done actually. This is the second round. Your second pass. Sweep nesting. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was like, Ben, let's sweep the kitchen. And we did. And now it's like back to normal. So I made like a little, I actually made it really nice. Like you guys, I should like really start one of those like organizational pages.

4:38Like I really could do it. You should. I made different cabinets for like different people. Like Ben has a cabinet. Romeo now has a cabinet. Rodeo? He has half a cabinet. What does he need? Well, first of all, you know he's a brand ambassador, Romeo. He's kind of the face of a brand called Wagwell, which is like a pet wellness company. And so he has a lot of his supplements from them. He's his father's son. He is like a businessman. So he needed like a specific – but he doesn't get a whole cabinet. He is a dog. So he got half a cabinet. And then my dry goods got the other half. I feel weird about like keeping dog things with human things.

5:11But like in New York City, you just can't be so particular. I understand. And he was really like loving. He said, Mom, this is nice. And I forget, I buy so many nice things for him. Is it a cabinet that's like Romeo height? So he could go and get what he wants. It's on the floor. And then I got him like a pargy wicker basket to put all of his, you know, it's allergy season. So he has allergy and itch supplements. It requires a lot. He's been taking his echinacea. Romeo's an extremely well dog you know I don't know what like whatever the opposite is like that's what Theo was like we seriously like we were just like we want some food here you go no Romeo has like a regiment he has a cabinet now Ben has a cabinet and I'm working on clearing out one whole cabinet so by the time I god willing god willing god willing get back from the hospital I have an empty cabinet in the kitchen for the bed bed now it's a cabinet that I need to empty full of Ben's crap we have a meat grinder that's cool we have never once ground our own meat does it attach to your kitchen aid it does but it's huge that's cool okay so but like i feel as though we're past the the cool and i'm i've got my eye throwing it away you should make him grind some meat i've also got my eye on his ninja creamy it's gotta go it's huge we don't make our own ice cream and i'm sorry i think it's time for for goodwill somebody somebody's another family to start making their own ice cream yeah i don't have one of those we did it once and it was so fun yeah i do feel like you're not a real influencer until you have a ninja creamy agreed and i am okay with that because i'm a podcaster like romeo's gonna use his ninja creamy and his um wagwell vitamins and he's gonna make a little that's actually a nice idea for rodeo maybe for his birthday smoothie maybe for his birthday oh His birthday is coming up.

6:59What's his birthday? It's December. We have time. What are you going to get him? A Ninja Creamy. We already have one. No, I'm just I keep waiting for Ben. One of Ben's running jokes about my sweeping. He actually hates that like he'll need something and it was thrown away six months ago. Right. So I'm trying to be better with that. But like with each day that passes, I've just started like throwing things out and he doesn't notice. Yeah. Just like the meat grinder sounds sad to me because it's just like it just shows someone who's like wanting to eat healthier and like better his life and then you just like take away his tools but why do you need meat grinder like we have the most amazing kosher grocer that has like pre-packaged hunting his own meat you know what meat would you need to be ground chicken beef we can buy it right but like when you grind it it's fresher but i'm sure the kosher grocer is so fresh i'm sure like the chicken breast versus the ground chicken at the kosher grocer is equal freshness like if you were hunting and killing your own sure dinner and then you get a cut of meat and but you want meatballs then you put it through the grinder.

7:59Sure Luke Combs can have a meat grinder at his house okay and his palace. Me in my apartment with my husband who literally has never shot a gun in his life like we don't need it. Chip and Joe grind their own meat sometimes. And I feel like if I was in the process of the meat being ground I would not be able to eat it. Yeah yeah that movie kind of ruined it. Kingsman Golden Circle yikes. the last scene with the meat grinder in the diner i don't remember you then you obviously i saw it i have seen it but obviously had an impact on you you know page or pascal in the diner at the end in the jungle julianne moore put yourself there like none of this sounds familiar that's the whole movie takes place in this diner remember elton john elton john yeah like what's her name poppy julianne moore pedro pascal maybe i need to see family tucci stunt double yes family fucci is the actor's name his name is mark is it it's family it's family um yeah we've been very busy yeah we've been busy cleaning out i understand i love cleaning like this this is a bonus of pregnancy I feel like I talk a lot about the thorns not about the roses and one of the roses is like it's become totally acceptable for me to be like my sweeper self and I love I love like just the urge I get to just like throw things out we both watched the valley last night and did you see the highlight on acupuncture I did see that highlight of acupuncture I felt extremely seen everyone's doing acupuncture I and I had no idea that Nia and Danny struggled with infertility for a year and a half and that fertility acupuncture got her pregnant.

9:44Okay. I have heard fertility acupuncture is like really amazing. And I do have a lot of thoughts on the Valley and I will save them. But I am, I was kind of shook at something I found out on last night's episode. Let me think. What did you find out? And maybe it's because. Give me a clue. Maybe it's because I have a lack of context, but like someone I thought I knew turned out to be something entirely different. Janet? No. oh Danny because he gets drunk and grabs ass yeah we all we all like we watched did you know that no okay okay so we'll talk about in the recap but like that was enormously disappointing that was like an insane thing to casually say like oh that and it wasn't even made a storyline that that that um conversation with Jasmine was like a flashback I think it will become a storyline I think that's gonna be the thing that Nia gets upset about Janet for bringing up because like Like Nia acts like, and I think for the most part, like her life is very, you know, idyllic.

10:44And she likes to keep it that way. And like, you know, she doesn't want anyone to like know if there's ever any trouble. Like last season, Danny got drunk at one of the dinners and he was just like being annoying and crazy. And she was - He's a bad drunk. She was, he didn't even do anything wrong. She was literally humiliated. Yikes. Yeah, so that was crazy. We'll save that for the Valley recap, but like that was disappointing. No, that was so out of left field. None of us saw that coming. It's not just you. Okay, good. What else do you want to chit-chat about on this Pardy Wednesday morning? It is so gorgeous out in New York City.

11:16I can't believe I'm sitting inside. Like, it's so Pardy. It's sunny. You should podcast outside. That's like in school when you would, like, have class in the park. And that was, like, the best day. Yes, except, like, because we went to school in the city, it, like, wasn't as much of a thing as it is, I think, in other schools. No, you have class outside. Even in college, sometimes you'd have class outside. No, I'm talking about like high school in the city. Oh, like we didn't do it as much. We didn't because like if you're on like a high school campus, like, yeah, sure, let's go sit out and buy the tree.

11:44But we'd have to like get field trip permission slips. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't a thing. That's like kind of something not enough people talk about, kind of a downside of going to school in a major city. Yeah, that's true. No school outside. Well, I hope you guys are having class outside today to our, maybe, what's after Gen Z? Gen Z. Alpha. Alpha. But like Alpha's like Charlie. Yeah, like babies. Charlie doesn't have class outside. I do think maybe one day this week. Don't you feel like Gen Z's getting a little old? I don't really think much about Gen Z. I think there was a time period where I was like really obsessed with getting them to be like into me and think I'm cool and skinny and pretty.

12:24And now like I don't know if it's the culture has moved on from being obsessed with Gen Z or I just personally have. A bit of both. It definitely had the Osama of it all like definitely helped. like not only am I not interested not only am I not interested in what they think of me us and our show like I actually don't want them here unless they're sound of mind individuals yeah I agree but I just feel like they're getting old and irrelevant just like the rest of us yeah like welcome nobody cares about you we were all you know everything once first oh my god remember when everybody wanted to get the millennial the millennial consumer the millennial vote yeah we were all special like you and how you act at the top is really interesting because we're gonna see you on the way down bitch like yeah i feel like gen z is like with us it's like a discarded generation now like nobody's targeting to them or they are but like it's they're moving they're moving away from their time has is has come and the way they behaved at the top that's what i'm saying it was not a good look but i do feel like that's the circle of life i feel like every generation when they're in their prime like that behaves awful like millennials was there a lazier more entitled bunch no i don't identify with those characteristics no no well you're You can't put me in a box.

13:33So I'm not talking. You actually can't put me in a generation. I am transgenerational. I'm not talking about me and I'm not talking about you. Right? And we're not talking about anybody who listens to this show either. I am timeless. You're timeless to me. Like in any time, in any generation, like I would be the same person. I'm not affected. Oh, that's interesting. By my peers. That's how I feel about my looks. Like I am a timeless beauty. Like I think that if you were you to drop me in any century, I could like adapt. I'd wear the clothes I'd fit in and I would be considered like a beautiful woman in any generation.

14:09That is how I feel. I agree. But I do think there are some generations for me that I would have been more beautiful in. Of course. No, you would have like been higher up on the list. But you wouldn't be considered, you know. An ugly duckling where there are people now who are like good looking for our time, but they would have never cut it in the Renaissance. No, but also they very much look from our time. Well, I would say it's a matter of like, have you had work done? Because you wouldn't have acted pre-plastic surgery. Right. And so I feel comfortable knowing, like, yes, I have Botox and things, but I have maintained a face that could thrive in any millennia.

14:48Yeah. That's something I'm really proud of. Yeah, but I think people who have had a lot of work done, they wouldn't be looking like this in the Renaissance. no no and if they did they would have looked like they would people would point at them and be like that's an alien like if you showed up with your big ass lips and like a bbl yeah that's an alien they would point at you on the reservoir during like the daily walks and being like who's that i would love to get a time machine just to send someone with a bbl back back to like the gilded age yeah well you actually they all look like they had a bbl with those petticoats yeah right and the corsets.

15:24That was the look back then. That was actually, the more things change, the more they stay the same. So true. You would have hidden that thing. Well, do you ever think about getting a BBL? No. Have you ever seen like the BBL recovery videos where like you sit literally in a colostomy bag that like collects blood? It's probably one of the most severe recoveries. You have to like lay on your stomach for days at a time. You're in this like girdle that has like bags attached to collect like fluids. It's absolutely brutal. And I think more often than not, you look like clowns. Like even a really good BBL, it's like, we're not buying it.

16:04You have this huge ass, tiny waist and tiny thighs. Like where is gravity in all of this? No, I can't get into the mind of someone that wants a BBL. No, I think a good example of like a BBL that like James Charles. No, no, like James Charles, right? this is obviously there's like a like yes okay it's not he hasn't confirmed it but it's like he showed up with a big fat ass yeah like where did you get this big fat ass we we couldn't help but wonder and he has he has a seemingly normal body otherwise like there's nothing that would indicate this person has like big hips and a big ass he has a very normal waist very normal thighs and just like this big ass.

16:47And it doesn't make sense. Like we know how bodies work. And so I think that even a really good BBL, and I'm sure he went to the best of the best, I think even a good one looks bad. What's so funny is he's obviously like not obsessed with it because there are no pictures of him from behind on his Instagram. Well, so there was a period where he had like obviously just gotten the BBL and was like really into showing it off. And the internet, and I don't know if he thought that like people weren't going to notice. oh wait he literally posted on may 7th a picture of him like in a bikini uh and he doesn't turn around but he said drizzy ain't got nothing on this bbl right it was so obvious that he had gotten one that the internet like clowned on him and he leaned in oh okay and so i don't even think that one looks good yeah there are some surgeries like even like if you don't get a good one like it's still better you know like i think like fake boobs like even i hate my boobs so much like even know if I got like a bad boob job like oh they're standing up on their own I'm good I don't agree entirely with that but I understand what you're the point that you're making like some like lips is very sensitive like you have to have them done well or else they look very bad um that's how I feel I think a BBL even the best BBL looks bad a bad boob job like all right no like even the best like unless there's someone who's had a BBL and we actually don't know because it doesn't look like a BBL like BBLs aren't meant to be like subtle surgeries no no no but let me ask I won't go into evaluating women's bodies we could do that offline I mean I'm open I'll text you let me know if it's a fair question are you asking me like if I think this person had a BBL yeah or some version of it and oh okay Larsa uh she totally had a BBL yeah okay okay are you crazy and like hers is not um like in my opinion like a super well done one i texted you a name oh no i don't think let me actually look up a picture something you don't think there might just be fat injections yeah some people do that too i think that's like a subtle way no she definitely will start out no she she hasn't okay yeah that's just i don't know that for a fact but i just feel like it's not the original ass maybe not yeah maybe not injections A fat injection, yeah.

19:03I just don't want fat injected anywhere. Like seriously, take it away, boys. What's the opposite of injection? Dejection? Liposuction. Yeah, like I need fat dejected from my face, not injected. That's why I can't relate. Make something bigger? No thanks. Seriously. I guess lips. I guess. I wouldn't make them smaller. Right, right, right. But everything else, make it smaller. Yeah, my philosophy on plastic surgery for my body personally is to make everything smaller. Tits, ass, face, boobs, belly, ears, neck, like everything. Yeah. But that's my philosophy. Yeah, I agree. Well, I'm ready to dive in if you are.

19:44I have some harsh words for the Desperate Housewives reboot that everyone's talking about. So all's to say, Claudia's not getting a BBL anytime soon. Not today. But if she does, you'll know. We'll be sitting on our BBL pillows. So now without further ado-da-da-da-do, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you-da-do need to know. And the Fast Five Stories you need to know are brought to you by Huggies Little Snugglers. So Huggies is the only leading brand with all-around blowout protection for sizes one and two. Now, Jackie, as the resident diaper changer, can you let some of the swirlies who might not be familiar know what a blowout is and why Huggies having the blowout protection for sizes one and two is such a big deal?

20:23So a blowout is when the number two does not stay within the confines of the diaper. So it's like a number two without borders, basically. Yes. We're talking up the back, down the leg, down the front. It can be very disruptive to baby, to mama. We're going to need a change of diaper, a change of clothes. We're going to need a wipe down. And if we could find a way to keep the number two within the confines of the diaper, that would be a much more seamless diaper changing process for the whole family. Less laundry, less trouble. And Huggies is the only leading brand with all around blowout protection for sizes one and two.

21:01So all parents out there know that there's really nothing worse than a blowout. It can be so disruptive to the flow of the day. We're having such a nice day until the blowout. And you shouldn't have to live your life worrying about how you will deal with the next inevitable blowout. Ease the blowout anxiety by switching to Huggies Little Snugglers. Huggies Little Snugglers are up to 100 % leak-proof with blowout protection in the front and back on sizes one and two, so you can feel confident relying on them for your little ones. Huggies Little Snugglers, now with blowout protection in every direction, sizes one and two.

21:29Huggies, we got you, baby. Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. You know, Jackie and I do not gatekeep when we find things that we love, and right now, we have been loving and living in Roback. Their stuff is super cute, it's comfortable, it's unbelievably soft, and yes, they just dropped something new, and we are, of course, obsessed as well. The ERA High Rise Shorts. These just launched. They're really good shorts. They're high rise. They're lightweight. They're super flattering. They've basically replaced every other pair of shorts that we own. If you like to walk, run errands, or actually run, or if you're just looking for a pair of shorts to exist in, they're really that versatile.

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24:19There are no long-term commitments or contracts required. Just go to Stamps.com, use our code TOAST. That's S-T-A-M-P-S.com, code T-O-A-S-T. Thank you, T-U-R-T. You're welcome. our first story little sydney sweeney news she was spotting get it close to her co-star brendan sklanar i don't know why i think his name is brendan when it's brandon no it's brendan slid on the page six they have brandon you might think that because i say it all the time or because that's his name no but also because like something about sklanar lends itself to brendan phonetically because there's an extra e it's brandon let's go brandon brandon sklanar brandon this changes things he's just a brandon he's not a brandon he's such a brandon yeah i don't know i just have to like change my whole outlook on life let's go brandon brandon it's because of the Sklenar.

25:22Yeah, no.

25:27Visually, oratorially, and phonetically, Sklenar has the same exact vibe as Brendan. No, it's true. If it was, it would be Brandon Sklenar. No, I'll try to call him Brandon Sklenar. But absolutely no promises. Two different words in two different languages. Languages, yeah. Brandon Sklenar and Sydney Sweeney were spotted together at Stagecoach getting close yes but also it's a tight crowd so everyone's close so we're not gonna say that they were canoodling but they were next to each other at Stagecoach they're actually the video I saw he was like directly behind her which I thought was even more intimate than like being next to someone at a concert you know what I mean I know but like I feel like it's not fair to assume assume just because crowds are crowded.

26:17Crowds are crowded. These two are obviously friends. They're working on a project together. Maybe they just like happen to get along or both like really love country music. Sure. Yeah, so it's like, let's take a day off, go see a country concert. But I'm sorry, like she's 27, he's 34. She's beautiful. He's handsome. She's single, we think, even though she was just spotted with the restaurant tour a couple days ago. And the dog, I hope they're not doing dog. Did you see the picture of her like holding up her ring finger? no she's single she's single but she was with jonathan devino the other day maybe they have like a life to separate having the dog issue well and someone commented yesterday a lot of people are like weighing in and they said that they did the like co-parenting with the dog and it was a mess but judge judy says that you should never get a dog in a relationship it has to clearly be someone's so even if we're in a relationship and we're getting a dog like we have to know whose it is.

27:11Yeah, but that's like really tough to like breach the conversation. Like we're in a loving relationship. I'm getting a dog. Like I don't trust you. I don't trust that this relationship is going full term, but I'd like a dog. Yeah, but I do feel like whenever a couple is getting a dog, there is someone who is pushing who wants it. Yes. Sometimes it's like a true genuine like we're making a family like people who act like they're having a kid. But then sometimes it's like one of the people in the relationship wants a dog and they're like foisting it on the other person it's situational I trust Judge Judy implicitly I thought that was a good policy because this is a mess the more I thought about it like the more my brain is jumbled I don't know what the right thing it's an impossible situation it is it is so obviously Sydney Sweeney has found herself in a situation like that and she's still tethered to Jonathan DeVino vis-a-vis the dog and she wants to be with or they might like they might co-own a house too like like they were getting married so like and they were together for quite some time so I I don't think it's so crazy that they saw each other i don't think it's them getting back together like by any means especially like once you go sklanar you can't go devino sounds like a um injury attorney at like sklanar and devino and powell right um i love this coupling if if that's what it is i they also like there was a tiktok i saw so they also like spent the weekend together they like were on this party bus like i i don't want to jump to conclusions that i don't want to get excited because i have loved brendan slid are like long before all these other bitches did like i i actually discovered him a thousand percent um and everyone's now watching like the first season of 1923 but like i watched it like a million years ago for some reason and i saw something in 1923 literally i saw something in him that nobody else did he was just like some random guy but to me he wasn't like to me he was so much more than that and i yeah right he was my everything once first And I feel very close and attached to him.

29:02And now he's getting super famous. He did the movie with Megan Fahey and Sidney Sweeney. He sort of let him go. Blake Lively. And so everybody thinks that they know Brendan Slanar. They don't know him the way that I know. Granted, I did just learn his name. But I feel attached to him. And I actually really approve of this. And this is what I've wanted for Sidney Sweeney, right? This is what her career has been missing. As this bombshell who popped on the scene. Everybody loves her. She's in a million movies. she's been missing that relationship to to sort of go along and have your star rise so I think this is fabulous yeah even though I think she raises his star more yes but he's not a nobody he's really up and coming nobody like it's it's really a sweet cute relationship but I also think like they're filming the movie together they went to skate shows I imagine these are the early days of what could be and they're still figuring it out too so the added pressure doesn't help but I'm sure they're having fun and I don't feel sorry for them and the pressure.

29:58No, they're going to be completely fine. I also really like to see so many celebs, almost equal amounts now, making news, doing things at Stagecoach versus Coachella. It used to be first week of Coachella, everyone was there, paparazzi, la la la. And then second week, nobody went and then nobody cared about Stagecoach. But now, I saw a million videos. I saw Mila and Ashton at Stagecoach. I saw so many celebrities. All of a sudden, they were like, country right that's what i'm saying like the lana del rey effect where are they when like country is just getting shot on the rest of the year they're nowhere but also i don't think it has a lot to do with country i think country's definitely more up and coming but like that's what we were saying on monday with our stagecoach recap it's like the lana del rey effect a lot of them went for lana interesting but like okay you just go for lana and then you leave or like you're going for lana like let's spend the weekend yeah but like how are you going to spend multiple hours like listening to a genre that you don't like.

30:51Like I couldn't do it. But yes, but if you find it, because I saw like Mila and Ashton were at the Goo Goo Dolls. So like you can. You can make it like mainstream. Yeah, like Jolly Roll. You can curate your day. You can. Like the same way at any festival you would curate your day. I could not curate my day at certain festivals. Same, same. I'm also not like a festival goer. I feel like celebrities love festivals. Like I find festivals, like I only literally only have been to Stagecoach and Coachella and I've had amazing times at both of them. but I don't like I don't like look forward to them they're like they're journeys for me you know we've been to Govball yeah but like that was in our hometown we went for one concert and left like that doesn't count yeah we weren't like there all day festivaling I feel like we were I don't think so it's I feel like we were but that was another time it was the 80s it was the 80s it was literally the 80s when we went to Govball just want to say this is not a confirmation of a relationship but I'm really hoping that it is like for everyone strong path.

31:52Yep. Just don't ever let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's just let them do their thing. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Our next story. Unfortunately, we have to talk about the interview that Meghan Markle did on a podcast. Like, I'm sorry, but we do. No, this is exactly the type of Meghan news I want to talk about because it's it's decently substantial. And when we've talked about her podcast up until this far, we have learned nothing about Megan. Her personal life, her as a mom, her as a wife, her as a friend. And so now she's going on someone else's podcast to promote her own podcast. It's her friend Jamie, who also is like the first female CEO at L 'Oreal.

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32:27She's the CEO of It Cosmetics. I didn't know any of this before. She has her own podcast and they did a pod swap because she's on Megan's podcast this week. Yes. But her conversation with Megan on her own podcast is much more interesting. It is. Because it's more personal. The clips are going so viral of Megan having various conversations with Jamie Kern Lima on the Jamie Kern Lima show. J.K.L. So she's talking about motherhood. She's talking about her marriage. She's talking about her work ethic. She's her like that her self-worth, her self-worth. You know how she feels now versus how she felt then.

33:00There are so many like takeaway headlines from she cries the interview. Oh, what did she cry about? She was talking about. Was it I think it was like related to her self-worth and how like that for so many years like she's just always felt like she had to prove herself prove it at the prove it game um i had so many thoughts on this interview like first of all here's some quotes like when she talks about harry she talks about harry she talks about their marriage and also like they're not getting divorced she said like we'll be married forever and um so everyone who like thought they're getting divorced like they're not because like you i know no run it back i don't think they're i don't think they're getting divorced i don't think they can get you were believing the rumors for a while no i like even if they fucking hate each other they're not getting they can't they can't but that's not what she was saying but she was saying we love each other so much we'll never even think about no and like she says like she thinks about the game super mario and like what's the the the end cringe when she said this like this was seriously butt clenching light cringeworthy the end goal of the game what happens like the you slay the dragon and you save the princess and like that's literally what age did for her h yeah i the thing is that's like megan explains why she calls him h and he calls her m and someone was like and i imagine it has something to do with his name being harry and her name being megan i think so my takeaway i had so many like big thoughts from this big feelings the big big feelings.

34:31The thing is, is that this is not new. This actually is, I think, who Megan is, right? You think so? Yes, because I have a distinct memory. And I remember when it happened, like people for people for a while ate up everything she said. And I remember being like a hater in the corner being like, that's really cringe. Remember when she said like her and Harry don't watch TV and like their nighttime routine is doing a little Duolingo before bed, learning a new language. And people were like, oh, I can't. And I just remember being like, are you fucking serious? Like get a TV. You live in America. And so she's been like this always.

35:05Now people just hate her and they like taking clips and they're like clowning on her. I just want to say she's nothing if not consistent. This is how she has always been. And now people like being, having their eyes opened, being like who talks like this. Some of us have been having those thoughts for a while. I just want to say. Now nothing she said was like harmful or bad. She's just really, really cringy. And I don't know if she sees herself like it lacked a little like a self-awareness yeah and it does make you question like is she really like this all the time and i agree she's been like this in public since you've known her in public for sure how can someone be like this at all times and like get things done you know and she's busy she's like a business owner podcast mother like how busy she is and She listed a lot of tasks that she does like for various businesses and she's busy.

36:01She's busy. I also had a lot of thoughts on the host. Like I found her annoying. And the host is just enamored with her. Yeah. And she just couldn't believe the opportunity. That's a good podcast to go on. She was just like, yeah. Like every time Megan talked. But they're like best friends. Yeah. I was getting the vibe that they're best friends. I was getting the vibe too. But I feel like Megan, everyone she's like bringing into her orbit on the show, on the podcast. I think she wants us to think like is her close personal friend. I got the vibe that they are best friends. Because she's like remember when I told you this?

36:32Remember when this happened? Remember that? So when Mindy Kaling went on I was like oh they're friends. And then like Mindy Kaling went on The View and was like talking. And it was just like giving like a sense of distance. Like she was so excited to be on it and honored to be. And she loves Megan and they've seen each other a couple of times. But they're not like chit-chatting. Yeah. Also something about the Mindy Kaling episode that happened in the episode. that like kind of bugged me then and bugs me every day now when I make a peanut butter sandwich like when they talk about making my lunches or whatever and Mindy's like no I do it I use organic peanut butter she's like all that oil what do you do with it and Megan kind of just like brushed by the comment like no she really spoke to a truth like all that oil on the top of organic peanut butter you don't have it with Skippy you're supposed to mix it you're supposed to mix it but like I didn't know why Megan didn't like respond to that I really wish she had like spoken about okay so that's what's bothering you it's like a real issue every day the oil on the well that's mindy being like so relatable so relatable i've seen i think i saw something where someone was like if you store it upside down then the oil will go to the other top and then you flip it over so i'm trying that i i decided i saw a device it's like a wire um it's like a coil almost and you put it in the peanut butter and you just like sort of churn it And it mixes the whole thing together.

37:47I'll send it to you. You know what I should do? I should put it in that butter churn where Olivia got me. Yes, you should. Because I'm not making my own butter. No. But I just thought that was so real. Mindy Kaling was really trying to enter the crunchy convo. And it's such a real thing that she said. She was brutally rebuffed. It's true. So the thing is with Megan, at this point, she's not winning anyone new over, right? There are people who just love her. and there are people who recently like have decided that they fucking hate her and I almost I like I don't know I don't know what the I'm trying to like give her advice like I I don't know how to advise her because when she opens her mouth she's like seriously indefensibly insufferable yeah I would say like make yourself more scarce but that it's like it's her turn now it's her yeah that's what nowhere to be seen the last six years that's what I've been thinking I was actually thinking about that last night and that was another thought I had when I saw this podcast ever I'm like man she's everywhere like the jam the show the podcast now this and I'm like where the fuck is her annoying ass ugly husband and it's like well he was up our asses for two whole years with his three books so it's like they take turns being like public like taking public spankings just to pay their bills yeah but I just feel like there's a lot of talking happening people aren't like talk no action people aren't loving like what they're saying everything's being dissected and and some things justifiably and some things not but like i feel like people are being harsh but she is not making it easy criticisms that i genuinely don't agree with um and then i see some that i'm like yeah that's spot on and i just feel like they need to find a way to make money where they don't have to talk so much yeah but so much of what's interesting about them is their personal lives.

39:37Harry specifically with the drama with his family. We got the story. It's not interesting. But Jackie, they don't have other things. That's what I'm saying. Their point of interest. Like you can sell jam without talking. Not enough to pay and live in Montecito. And the flower sprinkles. Correct. Thank you. You made my point even further. And shortbread. They have to rely on their personal lives for content, whether it's a documentary, a book, a TV show. it's getting a little old and they're not like deeply interesting or funny on camera maybe they are in their personal lives but it's not translating and it's a real issue for them because they're running out of places to do it well i'm ready for her to go back to acting one thousand someone else's lines she's a really good actress she's very beautiful she is an excellent actress.

40:29I discovered that on Suits. Like she was really, and I don't think she's like her character. Like I think it was a role. Like she really had to act differently. I do think going back to acting is a great call. There's a new Suits. I think that will be next. Like I think she'll finish out this cycle of work. Then Harry will do something. Harry taps in. Harry taps in. I think he'll sink the ship even lower. And then I do think that she will act again. I would, I would love that. As she should. but then also then you have to remember and I guess we could have this you know issue with anyone any actor actress who's doing like a lot of self promotion promotion just talking about themselves like they could be acting they are an actor well great act so um yeah uh that was a fun a fun journey and shout out to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

41:23JKL. Big get. Big get. Our next story, a little TV news. Desperate Housewives offshoot show with Steria Lane is in the works at Onyx from Kerry Washington and Natalie Chiades. I feel that the that this isn't so misleading because when I heard it, I was like, OK, they've said that all the women are down. And Eva Longoria has always said, like, it's we'll do it. you have to get Mark Cherry to agree to do it. Like, and now I saw this headline. I'm like, oh, so I guess Mark Cherry's on board. Maybe they're going to, and not one single person or production company or whatever from the original show is involved.

41:59So how, I don't know if this is like off brand, Desperate Housewives. I don't know how. Yeah, I think it's a reboot by another name. They know that that word is like, nobody's going for that at the moment. So it's sort of like a spinoff re-imagining and now it's called Wisteria Lane and it's the same concept. I think it's better though. I was just like looking. Someone sent me something, but I already knew this. Like Marsha Cross's personal brand has completely ruined the legacy of Desperate Housewives. I was like the way I was like someone sent me like one of her tweets. Like she's like Mahmoud Khalil, the way she tweets.

42:32She's like a radical, crazy person. I completely agree. And even beyond Marsha Cross's like craziness, I don't want a Desperate Housewives. And I'm the biggest fan of the show. I just watched it again for like the fifth time in my life. I watched it live. It is a show that raised me. It is perfect. It needs to not be touched. Let Sleeping Dogs Lie. The reboot is not going to be good, even if everyone was involved. Stop it. I actually think that if all the women came back and Mark Cherry, this is a show that actually could continue on because they're still housewives. They're older, but it's not like they were in high school and now they're with kids.

43:06They were 40 and now they're 60. Narratively, the show can go on, except if you watch towards the end, it wasn't good anymore. All the women did move off the lane. And yes, they could move back for sure. Like not a big deal. But like it ran its course and it was good. And like, why can't it just be good? I'm just saying of all like the reboots to bring back like an original cast and do it again. Like this narratively would work. Yes. Yes. Because you can always just live on a street. I'm not interested in Marsha Cross being in it. And I'm also not interested in watching it without Brie. So I also don't know if Felicity Huffman is like doing active roles.

43:42I think she's like over that life. And of course the Terry Hatcher drama. It's a mess. It's not happening. No, the only one who's like clean and good to go is Eva Longoria. And she gets asked about it all the time. And she's like, yeah, sure. I'll do it. And she's like the wealthiest woman in the world now. She's married to an actual billionaire. Why would she work that hard? At the end of the show, Vanessa Williams was a housewife. Renee Perry. She was like the last two, three seasons. She was an excellent addition. And I would love to have her back. I would consider her. She's not one of the OG four.

44:13But if they brought it back, she should be there. Agreed. So then this new version is going to be like all new wives.

44:23And I think it's possible that it could be good, but it has to be written by Mark Cherry. You need like an, it's not, but like you need an insanely good writer. That's what made desperate housewives so amazing. And they don't have that. And they're not willing to do that. It was a perfect show. Yes. Mark Cherry, all the writers, like it was the best of the best, but it was also just, sometimes you hit it. Right. And it's a perfect casting, perfect everything it's not gonna happen and i'm so over this reboot like stop desecrating the legacy of great shows yeah also carrie washington's involved on the production side unclear if she would be in the show i do think that if she were in the show like that wouldn't be good i don't i'm not familiar so much with her production work you know i think she does a little like she's similar to like how reese witherspoon does it on like the biggest and best scale and a lot of actresses have their own production companies and like higher i don't know a lot of carrie washington's behind the scenes work look carrie washington productions i feel no little fires everywhere was definitely hello sunshine that was hello sunshine but maybe it was in collaboration and that show was really bad yes it was so that's like a demerit for for all the people involved okay but carrie washington does come from like a very very prestigious successful long-running abc show just like desperate housewives scandal she obviously wasn't like a right she was just the actress it was shonda uh shandaland production but there is like the abc overlap i don't know i just i'm not interested so she has a production company called simpson street productions and um it's in like they have an overall deal with abc got it so now I'm on their website and I'm not really seeing the productions.

46:10I'm not seeing productions. Let me click their Instagram. No, it says they have like a season book. I think we'll get there. Okay. I just want to say like I'm not going to watch this. I'm not going to support. Like I love the show and even like decent reboots, whatever you want to call them. They never do what they need to do. At this point, I'm no longer even going to be happy for a second when I see the headline and then realize that it's bad. Anytime I see the word reboot or I see my favorite show in the news, I'm going to be sad. I completely agree. Let sleeping dogs lie. Leave Wisteria Lane alone.

46:50So Simpsons Street has a new movie called Shadow Force. It's only in theaters May 9th with Kerry Washington. Okay, I haven't heard of it. Street You Grew Up On, season four starts tomorrow. Okay. Shadow Force again. so it's probably like a new venture for her yeah but yeah yeah so this would be big yeah unfortunately it's going to be like i as the i feel i am the chairman of the desperate housewives fan club and we are extremely like protective of the of the brand and i'm saying no same with clueless but like narratively clueless doesn't make sense to bring back they were in It was about high school.

47:29It's about the moment in time, that age that you are. Leave it. Yeah. So, and they just like, honestly, they don't have the talent in Hollywood to do great things anymore. It's so true. Especially writing-wise. Writing-wise. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. Katy Perry is speaking out about being beaten and bruised and battered and bruised by the internet. So she took to social media to write a comment that she's felt battered and bruised, but has kept looking to the light. So if you're worried about Katy Perry, she is speaking out about all of the hate that she is receiving. And Katy is doing okay.

48:06She seems like a very healed and therapied person that, I mean, nobody can really withstand like such global mockery. But she seems to be taking it as well as one could. Yeah. Based on this one comment. She responded to the online hate in a lengthy comment under a post from her fan page, Katie Perry Brazil. She said, I'm so grateful for you guys. We're in this beautiful and wild journey together. I can continue to remain true to myself, heart open and honest, especially because of our bond. I love you guys and have grown up together with you. And I'm so excited to see you all over the world this year.

48:40Please know I am OK. I have done a lot of work around knowing who I am, what is real and what is important to me. She referenced some advice her therapist gave her, saying, no one can make you believe something about yourself that you don't already believe about yourself which I actually thought is like it's good advice it's pretty true like if someone says something mean about you like it only really hurts if it's true when it like rings true or it touches on something you're insecure about but someone says something like so out of left field it's like yeah objection relevance um she said when the online world tries to make me a human pinata I take it with grace and send them love because I know so many people are hurting in so many ways and the internet is very much so a dumping ground for unhinged and unhealed.

49:23So it seems like, you know, she's doing these shows, by the way. There are people there. Like she has a lot of fans. So the fact that she's choosing to just lean into that, I think is a very healthy mindset. And just like, this is not for the internet. It's for the kitty cats. It's for our universe. I don't know how one deals with this, but she seems to be doing well. She does. I actually was feeling like maybe she didn't even know what everyone was saying about her because she's like protected from that protected and she's also like older she doesn't need to like be in the comments all the time it's not like she's an influencer so I could imagine a world where like she doesn't even know that this is happening outside of like you know in terms of comments and stuff so it makes me sad to know that like she's she understands that she's the pinata of society right now um but that she seems like strong enough and and also like she is a little like delusional and nutty and I think it takes that type of person to go through something like this.

50:21100%. Like a healthy dose of delusion is really, in a situation like this, medical, medicinal. It's, yeah, it really is. Because it provides a layer of protection. Yeah, I agree. And I think she's like happy and fulfilled in her personal life. Like you really can't bring her down. She also has like so much money, more than like most of these online people will ever have in their entire lifetimes. And she does have a very fulfilled personal life. And that helps. Like that man, Orlando Bloom, loves her. Like she has a beautiful, happy family. Yeah, she has more than most. Yeah, I'm sure she focuses on that.

50:57It's important too. Are you ready for our fifth and final story that will lead into our TV recap? That like so sprung up. No, is it a fifth and final story that'll lead into the review that's brought to you by Skims? Yes. Skims bras and underwear are truly some of the best intimates that we've ever owned. Our top drawers are slowly becoming all Skims. And you know, we're really particular about what we put on our body, especially with all the changes to my body during pregnancy I find that I have like new needs for brassieres for underwear it's like with each day that passes I'm an intimates are really the unsung hero of every outfit and nobody is doing it like skims obsessed is an understatement so the fits everybody collection I've had for years I love their bralettes I actually haven't had to buy new ones for pregnancy because they're they fit everybody so like literally the bigger my boobs get the more the bra can take on but I recently got t-shirts from the fits everybody collection You actually, I stole one from your house.

51:44And then I asked you for a link because I needed a bigger size. And it was Fitz Everybody t-shirt. Fabulous. I wore it on the show earlier this week. I'm sure you guys saw me looking fabulous. I just love everything from Skims. I really love the Fitz Everybody collection. But really everything I've gotten from there. Pregnancy, before pregnancy. I just have like a lot of needs, especially bra-wise. Like we both have really big boobs. Jackie is breastfed. Like I've lost a lot of weight. So your boobs just go through a lot. And you need a bra that can support it. And you need size variations. That's one of the biggest things about Skims.

52:12I think they have like 60 bra sizes. They also do half sizes. Sizing is, I believe it was Garrett Hedlund who said, sizing is everything. Shop Skim's best intimates, including the Fitz Everybody collection and more at skims.com and Skim's New York flagship on Fifth Avenue. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select the toast in the dropdown menu that follows. Today's episode is also brought to you by Taylor Farms. Okay, like obviously Jackie is, I wanna say like one of, if not the face of Taylor Farms, right? So sweet of you to say.

52:43I definitely see myself that way, but I wasn't sure if other people, I didn't realize that was happening. And it feels so good to make a salad, right? You're like, oh, I am the beacon of health. Everybody's looking at me. But making a salad is so much work, especially if you like it really chopped with lots of ingredients. And then obviously salad in a bag is a great option, but I think we've been conditioned and over the years we're like salad in a bag. It's brown. It's gross. No, Taylor Farms is out here like reinventing the salad in a bag. First of all, it was a category that needed reinvention too.

53:12It's so true. They're salad flavors. Like they have really fun, like different style salads. I'm boring. I like the Caesar. You know me. I like the Caesar too. And I'm like not even that boring. But it's like you could do so much with it. You could dress it up. You could dress it down. Their dressings are so good. So you could just do the dressing. But I also love the Mediterranean Crunch. The Mediterranean Crunch, avocado, ranch, sweet kale. Your family will love them. If you want to make it for yourself for lunch, it's like so easy. If you want to like have a dinner party and not have to spend all day chopping a million ingredients, throw a Taylor Farms in there.

53:42You can also dress it up. If you want to add protein, grill some chicken, be fancy. Throw some turkey in there. But also, if you just want to literally throw it in your purse and eat it on the way to work, that works too. Taylor Farms are more personal than comedy and more personal than food, yet everyone loves them. There's no chopping, no slicing. Everything is fresh. The dressing's really yummy. Just mix it up and give yourself a round of applause. Grab a Taylor Farms chopped salad kit and get your salad together. I didn't realize that was happening. I didn't realize that was happening. our fifth and final story did you watch watch what happens live last night oh i didn't who was on britney and luke random luke from summerhouse luke kristin's husband oh well i like that i thought of somebody who hasn't been on bravo in three years yeah before i thought of luke kristin's husband who was on bravo but honestly someone must have canceled because it was a very strange to have him because he didn't like he's just luke he is what you thought he would be he gave like no tea he was asked shady questions and he was like i I didn't know that was happening.

54:39I think that Brittany also could have and should have deserved a one-on-one. Yeah, so maybe it was also good that they had someone there who wasn't talking that much because Brittany had a lot to share with us. Is this about the Stassi thing? No, this is about Jax and her relationship. She was asked about Stassi. She was. Being like, now that you're not with Jax anymore and he was obviously the problem, have you and Stassi reconciled? And I thought for sure the answer was going to be yes. No, the person asked, has Stassi reached out since you've gotten divorced? And she was like, no, she hasn't reached out, but I see her around and it's always good And it's always love and hugs and that's fine.

55:09And she also said like what we know, like obviously it's all about like the wedding, like them not going to Bo and Stassi's wedding. There's so much more that people don't realize and a lot of it has to do with Jax. So I am holding out hope. I would love these two to be like really good friends. Yeah. I mean, it wouldn't do anything for me at this point. They're not on the same show. So it's not like I'm like. No, just like vibes. Yeah. Yeah. But it seems like they're like totally. Fine. Fine, which is good. because like Ocean's birthday party like you don't want people fighting at Ocean's birthday party correct um but she was shading Jax's sex skills on Watch What Evans Live did you see this no yeah so she was asked a lot of questions about Jax she was asked about his recovery and she said like she kind of cast a little doubt on it like she was like he's still Jax like I hope he continues she's so entitled to that like if that's I'm sure she would be the first person to be like he is changed this is the man I've been waiting for you know what I mean like if he was but she was like he still has his jack's personality i hope he like continues on the path but like it's still not great and like she's not getting back together with him ever so i wonder why she hasn't filed that's a separate question um but she was asked to rate his sex skills by the shady dress there's a new um a new game in town a new prop kristen dodie last week gave the green dress the green to andy and then they put it on a mannequin they called it shady revenge dress and so she was asking shady questions um and it was asked to rate jackson's bed skills and so she said there were times when he was about a seven or an eight but you know most of the time he was a two or a three no stamina no nothing well you know this is a person who we've now realized like is an addict and when you have all these different substances coursing through your veins honestly usually affects your ability to hold an erection and such.

56:59Yeah, but he's also like a sex addict. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I don't think sex addicts are particularly good at sex. They're here for a good time, not a long time. Yeah, that's true. I love this. I know she has been holding back so much for so many years, and she still maintains a level of respect because it is cruisy sad. No, I actually don't think that she maintains that. She doesn't feel this like enormous responsibility to protect him as Cruz's dad, which I actually like because I find that annoying when people do it. It's more entertaining. And also I think she feels a bigger responsibility to do an amazing job at her job, to make more money, to provide for her son than she feels to protect Jax.

57:40And I actually think that that's like a compromise that's like really fair because they're not like any couple that just went on reality TV and like you want to protect the father of your child. Like it's Jack's tail. Like this is his livelihood. It's your livelihood and playing coy about it will affect their bottom line. And it's all already out there. So I actually think that that's like fair for them. It's in, it's in her best interest too, because it helps ultimately provide for her family. She has sole custody of Cruz. Like she is a breadwinner. She is taking care of them. She, I don't know if she's in the house, but she was like, has to pay for two houses at this point.

58:17Like we're making money. I'll say what needs to be said. I feel like everybody moved on far too quickly from the fact that she had to move out of the house with Cruz. It is seriously diabolical. And she still pays for her half of the house. That's so crazy. Insane. Yeah. So let's get into the Valley recap. And I'll share if there was anything else from Watch What Happens Live that she shared. Janet's bidet party. I just fucking hate Jesse. I hate him so much. even though it sounds like he has like like legit reason to believe that Michelle was unfaithful to him during their marriage like I literally don't give a fuck like I don't I think he's evil I hate him um when he got caught for saying that thing in the group chat which I need to talk about the loser ass group chat in a second um and his thing was like it's a joke like oh my god you're such a loser bro like I literally hate you like I hate everything about you being like we were trying to see who the mole was the mole nobody fucking cares about you like I hate and I'm not even like such a ride or die for Michelle I just you can't help but feel so bad for her he is a psychological terrorist yeah he really is but like you said last week she really falls into every trap that he sets like she's so not moved on from him or in a place where she could just be like oh that's stupid that he said that like I'm gonna go be happy with my partner who's so cute he is so cute And I also, I think there's a chance that she didn't cheat on Jesse.

59:42I think they like, they probably maybe fell in love while Michelle was still married to Jesse, but didn't enter a relationship until after she separated from him. And like, yeah, she likes his honey. And she said that they would like go on walks on Runyon Canyon. Yeah, she wanted to look cute for him. But I think it's possible that she didn't cheat on him with. Physically, but emotionally maybe. Emotionally maybe. And. Like I literally don't care. Like I don't fucking care. The reason why I struggle with the two of them is because I don't know them. I can't even imagine how they were ever married.

1:00:11It would be like if Jackson Brittany came on a reality show right now. And I would say, who the fuck are, how did they ever even get together? What even happened between them? The idea that like Michelle left Jesse is so not what you would expect from the two of them. Cause like he's the prick. Like, so what was going on in their marriage that like, and she seems kind of like shy and meek a little bit that like she left him. And then she also said that like, he wasn't like giving her hugs and kisses or like any sort of love. Like, so I, I, it's hard for me. I am on her side because from what I see now, like he just makes her life impossible and he doesn't even want to be with her.

1:00:44So just let her go. He's like a real evil person. But I just wish I knew them a little bit better to really understand like the issues between them because I feel like I have no context. And I'm sorry. Kristen Doty is so wrong for like her team, Jesse. She's got to stop. She's always wrong. Like, I'm sorry, girl. That is not the vibe. Like, and when then Michelle, like, kind of lost me. She's like running around the party being like, let's think of that. No. Like, that's your response to. Right. To this heinous accusation. It's so lame. It's so childish. And like, you know what? Even though, yes, we know production's paying for the house, but it is being positioned on the show is like Jesse's trip, Jesse's house, Jesse's rental.

1:01:25Like, you can't kick him out. Like, it was just a bad call. Like, it was very losery. And then it was like very high school. Jasmine was like, I'm not voting for you. And she just like immediately broke down. I'm like, she's just so fragile. Like it's hard to root for someone like that. Who's like crying. And then she's like, no, I'm going to kick him out of the house. And she gets like happy and strong. And then she doesn't get the votes that she needs. And she's crying again. She cries. Be stronger than that. Or don't like, don't engage. That's the easiest thing you could do. Don't engage. You don't even have to be strong.

1:01:51You could just fake it. Like act like you don't care. And then go home and cry. Cry when you get home. Yeah. Now I was excited because we were getting more of my two favorites, which is Danny and Michelle. Danny and Nia. Yeah. and then I wish we didn't get it because I learned something that I didn't like which is that he doesn't have a drinking problem but he's like a very bad drunk he doesn't drink a lot and when he does it's like Armageddon and he was very inappropriate with two women like oh I have to grapple with this now like are you fucking kidding me I was so upset why would someone like that ever drink on TV period he didn't even do it on TV the grab ass but like with his TV people Jason said that was the worst thing he's ever he always does stupid shit when he's drunk that was the worst thing he's ever done though can we talk about jason thank you for bringing it up first of all him having an android like janet like stopping him in the doorway being like you're a good man for doing that dropping jacks like i actually couldn't like i wanted to die no it's so crazy that this man jason is on a reality show like tmj this man jason in any other world like you just be his lawyer self with his android going about his business but like we're watching this person on tv and like he's not a tv star deeply uninteresting yeah and when people say jason i'm like wait wait who's jason who's jason who's jason i literally forget i'm like no it's jesse danny like who the fuck is jason mr janet mr janet um he was just like he just is but he's actually if we don't get like normal boring people like him on tv right for a reason but it does sort of help like give like a normal boring perspective and just like i guess then can see like relative to a normal boring person like how crazy these people are like how do jacks and jason know each other get along how do they know each other and this group chat that they say is like 30 people but like they want it to be super private and there's a mole in there like who who do these people think that they are and britney said on watch what happens live like every wife and girlfriend has the password to their husband scrolls through it they all know about this chat and they all read it it is not like under lock and key there's no mole it's open right there's no mole it's just like common sense no and i'm sure like things about jack started getting leaking because maybe before that there was like nothing like newsworthy happening no like jack's yeah is a leak worthy person like people are gonna like send in things about him to like bravo accounts or whatever like jesse nobody cares yeah like you and your mole yeah but like is danny stupid or wants to like get the show on the rolling so that was the weird kind of incongruous part because it existed in the group chat not on the show and danny brought it on the show and told luke and was like mad that he told britney but like you you told luke and now it's it's out there doesn't matter what luke does with it it's on the show now but you felt luke would not say anything and then what at the reunion we'd all be like hey remember that time you said that so again i asked like stupid or wanted to get the show rolling that's what i mean it was like a bad episode for danny like i'm casting doubts on his pijamness i know i do think he's a pijam but he does i'm really worried that he's not i'm really worried like but i don't know i think that he will but i wonder why me like i know that she doesn't control him but she does like i wonder why she lets him drink yeah he has to stop he has to stop that's just such an easy fix like you're a bad drunk you make bad decisions don't drink bad bad bad yeah and it's not like he drinks a lot like they were saying nice stuff about him yeah but it doesn't seem like he has a problem some people just don't mix well with alcohol one time is too much get daddy a drink oh stop it's actually like funny also

1:05:43zach benji benji wasn't in this episode thankfully but um like him showing up to get ready for the party and like not going the most loser not invited even it's not like he's turning it down like what are you doing there i really like and can you explain to me why kristen feels she's owed an apology from Janet. For the podcast thing? I guess so. Yeah. And what she said on the podcast was that, you know, referencing these people being like, Kristen and Zach didn't care if my pregnancy went full term. Yeah. Which I guess like Kristen did not say. Zach did. But she like sat by him as he said that.

1:06:26And she's like guilty by association. Yes. Like Brittany has at least condemned him for it. Yeah. Nobody's holding Brittany accountable for what Zach said, even though they're best friends. Right. Right. But no, she was like sitting there and she didn't like speak out against it. So let Janet to feel like she didn't care either. Okay. Which then like Kristen feels like is a big thing to say about her. But so I actually think that they can clear things up. And when Zach was like, this is the saddest. It's like, well, why would Janet invite Kristen and forgive Kristen and not me? She didn't say that shit that you did.

1:06:56But that's just like a sad spot to be in. Like two people are fighting. Like one person's getting forgiveness and you're not. And it's so much more than like being invited to the event. It's like grasping on to relevance in the show. Of course. And so it's like you're not invited and you're already kind of like hanging on by a thread with your Benji storyline. And now like things are getting thrown through a loop even more. Yeah. And like last year he wasn't invited on the baby moon and he cried. He cried, Claudia. At least this year he didn't cry when he wasn't invited to Dave and Buster's. Dave and Buster's.

1:07:28Looks like a good time. It did look like a good time. Janet is funny like with I really didn't like understand her obsession with Dave and Buster's like I didn't realize how real it was for her but it's very real I understood it because I also happen to absolutely love Dave and Buster's and you love games I do love games and I've loved playing this game with you this game of love thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and Melinda Morning Show we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday the Friday and YouTube if you're watching it on YouTube please feel free to subscribe to this video thumbs up also available as podcasts and where podcasts can be found so that's Spotify to Stitcher public video by our guest box excuse me all the places where we listen to podcasts find us which has leave a five star view about how beautiful standing and wickedly talented we are yeah love y 'all bye

From the publisher

Sydney Sweeney gets close to co-star Brandon Sklenar at Stagecoach (Page Six) (24:32)

Meghan Markle Says Harry 'Slayed the Dragon, Saved the Princess' for Their Marriage (People) (31:59)

‘Desperate Housewives’ Offshoot ‘Wisteria Lane’ In Works At Onyx (Deadline) (41:26) 

Katy Perry Says She’s Been ‘Battered and Bruised’ by Backlash (Variety) (47:45)

Brittany Cartwright brutally shades ex Jax Taylor’s sex skills on ‘WWHL’ (Page Six) (54:11)

The Valley Recap (58:34)

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