Slumber Party with Lauren Elizabeth: Tuesday, June 17th 2025

34:55Now I'm like. There's also just day and night. I'm trying to think like I'm a high person. Day and night is not a social construct. It's social. But time is. Time is. Time is. O 'clock is a social construct. O 'clock. Yeah. O 'clock equals social construct. No, yeah. Light and dark, day and night, not social construct. Now I'm feeling like I'm on shrooms trying to figure this out. I know. I can't do it. I know. We need to pivot to more theological subjects. So true. Because Pope Leo reportedly is related to Madonna and Justin Bieber through a common ancestor. So Pope Leo XIV reportedly has some famous musical relatives.

35:29According to a report in the New York Times, the New Holy Father is related to Justin Bieber and Madonna through one common Canadian ancestor born roughly six generations ago. The New York Times collaborated with genealogists from American ancestors and the Cuban Genealogy Club of Miami on a detailed exploration of his ancestry and found that the head of the Catholic Church, born Robert Francis Prevost, that's definitely not right, Prevost, has connections to a number of famous relatives, including Madge, Madonna, Bieber, Angelina Jolie, and former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, which I guess would also mean that all these people are related to each other as well.

36:06Did he submit like a blood sample for that? I'm confused. Did he like do Ancestry DNA like on his own time? No, but I don't think you need... So who's running this? Just like Ancestry.com, you don't submit blood. Like you just give your name and like the people that you know, and then they have a lot of other information. It's like one of those things. And that's like ancestry.com, which is pretty legit, but not like the genealogy club or American ancestors. First of all, this is my boy. This is my pope. Yeah, because he's from Chicago. Yeah, like honestly, if I gave them my name, maybe we're related.

36:41For sure, because you're both from Chicago. Yeah, he might be my dad. He might be your dad. He might be my dad. I mean, I don't have a dad. I mean, technically I do, but like I'd love a new one, you know? yeah it could be pope leo that would be i just think he's so cute but this just makes me feel like then like are we just like all related for sure but like we are all related well it depends what you believe it depends what you believe adam and eve well i mean i don't believe in the passage of time anymore but if you believe in adam and eve then we're all related i do believe in adam and eve yeah so we're all related okay i like yeah but like but this is like closer to home Madonna and Justin Bieber.

37:19But you're definitely related to this guy. He looks like you. I think, right? Like, we give similar vibes. Do you get really excited when he, like, wears his Chicago swag? Yeah, I do because I feel like we're, like, the most underrated city. Did you know of him before he became the Pope as being, like, from being, like, a big deacon in the era? I wish I could be, like, yeah. Like, yeah, I'm such a good Christian. No, I had no idea until it was, like, on the news. And then my whole Instagram feed is, like, Chicago. Because even like, I feel like I know the big cardinals in New York. Yeah. I don't know.

37:53I don't believe in the passage of like time. Of cardinals. Of cardinals. No, I don't know. It was all news to me. But as a Chicago girly, like big day for us. Huge day. Yeah. You know, people need to put more respect on our city. It's a major win for the Windy City. It's a major win for the Windy City. But like New York sucks. L.A. sucks. Chicago so great we gave you a pope yeah think about it think about it no it's really it's really great for so do you think Madonna and Justin will reach out I could see Madonna she's very spiritual yeah she's another one that's interesting she's an interesting cat yeah I don't even go down like the Madonna rabbit hole like there's just like there's so much information her music like never she's ahead of my time so yeah but she's very spiritual true in an like in a real way I mean Justin Bieber won't stop posting on Instagram.

38:47Justin Bieber is also very spiritual. So he's probably going to figure this out and get in touch. Yeah. That's so cute. Family reunion. Yeah. This is what he needs. This is what Justin needs right now. I think so too. I know he has Jesus. But more. But he needs more. Yeah. And Pope Leo is going to get him there. Imagine he's the one to save him. I mean. Beautiful. Another one for Chicago. Beautiful. Oh, yeah. And the ancestor is a Canadian. Like Justin. I see. I see. Like the more you know. The more you know. The more you know. I love genealogy. I think it's really interesting. It's like that one show, right?

39:21Where they like do it with celebrities and they like figure out everyone that they're related to. What's it called? Like who the heck are you or something like that? That's not what it's called. I think it has a weird name like that. Oh, I thought it was called like genealogy. I think it's called like who the fuck are you? Seriously. Like do they still do it? I thought they did because I feel like they still see news about it. I don't see as much news about it. I feel like it used to make more news. Yeah. But maybe some people found out some stuff they didn't want to know. Yes. Maybe like Variety was doing something.

39:45like these like two actors figured out that they were like cousins or something cute yeah i don't know i don't know enough can you tell like there's not a lot going on up here i don't think that's true thank you i think you're really hard on yourself oh well you and my therapist agree our next story reese witherspoon is launching a weekly podcast for her book club so redheads are quaking redheads are pissed we are pissed and i feel like she could like smell blood in the water like because we've been struggling and i've been honest about this like on the redheads and probably you could sense from the show like it's been really hard to like get the redhead we do our episode every month but like every month it's getting harder and harder to find time for all of us to record like for busy women like mothers a lot going on and then also like for us to read the books too like we're having a real we're in a reading slump and then it's just really and so we're going definitely through like a weak moment yeah and she's pouncing so her monthly book club which just turned eight years old redheads are five years old that's like the younger prettier version um is now getting a companion podcast while she's likely to make appearances on the show she is delegating the hosting duties of the podcast it's called book marked by reese's book club okay amazing name like kill me the series will be anchored by journalist and tv host danielle robey who will bring together celebrities tastemakers influencers and authors from reese's book club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page no i feel sick because you know this is my dream like I always I always say like if I had more time and I could take on more projects I would build out redheads like I have like big dreams for it and I would at least do like a twice monthly podcast where once a month is the book club and then the other one is like talking to authors influencers fucking pacemakers about like book stuff and I definitely like said that once on the show and they took my idea oh you're giving away a lot of free ideas I'm glad you know what I'm just gonna be magnanimous because I know I'm not like I'm only getting to have less time not more I'm never going to be able to do that right so I'm glad that that content will be put out into the world by a trusted source such as Reese but I feel like you guys would have done it better and like a more like authentic and fun way like this has the potential to be like over commercialized and like not as like intriguing and just like almost just like people are going on a press tour yeah and just like very serious yeah um and not like showing a super fun side but let's see hello sunshine has another podcast too Claudia and I did one of their podcast I think it was called like the hello sunshine podcast yeah we had so much fun the hosts were amazing so I think they're pretty good in the podcast space and like because I'm not going to do this and I know that about myself because I don't have more time um I will pass the torch to bookmarked so then what's the future for the redheads I mean that's a really big question and something that we're all sort of grappling with but we all have agreed that like we never want to stop doing it and even when it gets hard like we're not giving up the redheads so I think even margo yeah even margo because for right now a lot of us like aren't reading in our free time like we normally were just going through a reading slump but like yeah if it weren't for the red heads i would not have read in six months and like i'm grateful yeah for that and every time we do the red heads it's so fun and like i literally sometimes don't talk to like have catch up with my friends that whole month and then i get to like it keeps us together yeah so you can't stop we can't stop it's just um i think also what would be easier for me is like delegating the editing of the episode because I edit the episode yeah it's really hard to edit for people who are doing a virtual episode it takes up a lot of my time you do it I know I'm just like so protective of the redheads and like I listen to everything I take out everyone's like breath that I like anything that I can do to make it perfect because like it's my baby it's my passion project but I think if I took some of the workload off of myself yeah that could be better for the future of the brand well I don't want the redheads to go anywhere I'm a I tune in I tune out You know, Rit and Dana are my absolute girls.

43:28Like, absolutely love them. But I feel like, Reese, you know, this is just like a commercialized version of like maybe something that you'll be able to do eventually. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe they'll have me on as a tastemaker and influencer. Well, those are the things that you are. And then you can go promote the Redheads. And then I can go promote the Redheads. So maybe this is actually amazing. I'll use it to my advantage. You know, I think it's good. Like, I'm always going to support women in literature, encouraging people to read and podcast. But at this point, like, do you think that like Reese is really like picking out each book or is it like, OK, like we have a new release coming out and like we know the people at this book publishing house.

44:02Like I think she there's that like I think publishing houses like submit their upcoming. But I think they also pick the books like six months before they even come out. Like it's so maybe even like a year whenever they have manuscripts. I think the publishing houses that she works with, like send the books that they want to nominate for a book club. I think she has readers that read a lot of books. And then I think maybe one or two come to her and like she might make the final choice. I think she reads them. I mean, that's like a dream, like in a sense of like, can you imagine like if you were doing the Redheads and you had all these people that were like trickling books up to you and you only had to read like the final two?

44:38Yeah. But no, I just feel like sometimes I'm like, I don't know, can I trust it? Like, is it really good? Or like, did they just like pick it because they have a relationship with the author and like whatever? Yeah. But that's just me being like, I don't know. Like when you pick a book, I'm like, oh, Jackie picked it. Yeah. Well, for redheads, it's more of a crapshoot because no one's read it. I'm not saying this is my recommendation. I'm saying we're going to have fun and it can open to be being bad. But when I recommend something like on my stories, like I mean it. But I do feel like there are some book clubs that people like it depends what you like.

45:06I mean, obviously, some people read everything Oprah picks because they just trust her judgment. They like what she likes. I find myself really liking the read with Jenna picks. Yeah. Anytime I read a book that's a read with Jenna book, it's good. I can't say I've had the same experience with Reese's book club. Yeah, I agree. It's not like, but maybe that's just a difference of taste. Like maybe I'm more of a Jenna than a Reese. I've just also found myself just liking Jenna in general recently. I think like maybe since like Hoda left or whatever, like I just feel like there's so much like she's being pushed on me so much.

45:33And I'm just loving what I'm seeing. She's doing a great job. I think so too. And I think she does a really good job in the book space. I just want you to have a stamp, like on a book. I know. Well, we have our sticker, but I have stickers that like I make for myself. um well send me like a few hundred and i'll start going around the midwest just popping them on books yeah yeah you can make stamps on etsy love yeah um are you ready for our fifth and final story i am well i need to let you know that the rest of today's episode is brought to you by roback okay girlies listen up because we need to talk about roback's new summer drop if you're a gal on the go like coffee in one hand airpods in or headphones with a cord calendar back to the brim.

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51:18He said, I didn't know that was public knowledge about the salaries, but he said that's absolutely true. Generally, actors don't talk about pay in public because it's ridiculously disproportionate to what we do, putting on makeup and funny voices and just upsets the public. But compared to what people normally get paid for big TV shows, that's a very low price. But the fact is, we would have paid to be in it. We probably would have given a body part. So I think it's like refreshing. he seems like every time he talks I just like love him so much like he's such a p-jom um and while yes like this is lower than actors make typically especially to be on a hit show on HBO like it's still more than most people make in many many years do we have any idea like how much people like normally make to be on like a hit HBO show because like to me I'm like$320 ,000 I'm like that's like a lot like maybe not for like A-list A-list celebrity but like for just like regular actor like yeah that's a lot no and I feel like a lot of people who are on the White Lotus are either like on their way up right or like kind of have been forgotten about for a little bit so it's like amazing for their careers but I also imagine it's such a big cast like you can't pay everyone a million dollars right because it's like okay$40 ,000 an episode I'm thinking maybe like 10 20 like that would be like okay whoa like that's really really low but$40 ,000 I'm like it's not bad it's funny it's kind of like what like a big reality show would make per episode probably do you think is that yeah like I would say when you come into a reality show you're probably making like 1500 to$5 ,000 an episode and then when you are there for a few years like I think 40 ,000 an episode is like a median place to be at I think like some of the Vanderpump people by the and we're making like 100 ,000 an episode really yeah because it compounds like the more time you're on the show that's so many different like contract negotiations that you've been through right right right I know I think like as much as he said like you know like what we do is like put on like makeup and like act silly and all that stuff I just always think that like they make so much money and then I think of reality tv as like you make like no money so I feel like the$40 ,000 is more like yeah shocking to everyone because it's like oh I thought everyone just makes millions and millions and millions of dollars yeah I feel like reality tv stars actually make a lot of like I feel like even if they make 20 ,000 an episode but their their show is even 10 episodes but usually more than that it's like 20 episodes so it's like 200 to 400 ,000 just for like film like for that portion of the year they film a few months out of the year so like the rest of the year they're doing other jobs like i feel like that's why when people are like struggling so much or it's like i'm like but where'd all the money go like you've been on the show for 10 years yeah yeah no i know well it's because it's especially like when you live in somewhere like la though it's like the cost of living and then like the cost of like keeping up with the joneses i know but i'm like what are you even doing that looks so like you well yeah i mean especially with that cast.

54:07I'm like, it's not like anyone's dressing fabulously or driving fancy cars. I'm like, no offense. Y 'all look like shit. And cheap, too. And so I'm like, where'd all your money go? I know. And you just think that if you started making an astronomical amount of money, you'd get some type of financial advisor and just start investing it. And then you don't have to work as much either. But with reality, I don't know. They're all just normal people that they found on the side of the road. And they're like, hey, you want to make a fool of yourself on television? Let's go. Yeah. And then all of a sudden they're rich and they're spending money.

54:39They're giving money to probably family members. Doing the damn thing. But actors, actors have been working for it. They're serious cats, you know. They are serious cats. They've been taking their acting classes. Yeah. I got the biggest ick last night actually. You're an actress. Okay, please. I was an actress for three seconds. Do you miss acting? No. With acting, you do a lot of nothing. So like I remember being like just like really, really bored. Because you just like wait around a lot. they call it like hurry up and wait um and i just remember like i'd be on instagram like watching like people post and like starting like blogs and businesses and i was like i could do more i'm like i like i was like too like i like i was like i need to go go go yeah what was the show that you were on i was on real bros of simi valley jimmy tetro show for a little bit and then this show called betch that was like a sketch comedy female sketch comedy show that one's like that one's a classic that one like my fiance still please like watch lauren in this i'm like oh Oh, my God.

55:35That's really cute. I know it probably hurt. Like it's painful for you. But like that's what a good fiance should do. No. Yeah. He loves he loves talking me up like that. So, you know, you know. But no, I don't. I really don't know what I was going to say. What gave you the ick last night? Oh, OK. So I got the ick in your house last night. It had nothing to do with you. It just it's where I experienced it. I was like watching Jenny in Georgia. And there's like I was watching like maybe the high schooler, like one of the guys act. and I had just taken my like little like CBD gummy to like go to bed.

56:05So, you know, I'm also kind of like going in and out and I was just like, these are the grown, like I was just watching like grown men act and I was like, you're a freak. I'm like, you're the biggest loser on the planet. Like you're telling me you have a normal girlfriend and a normal life and like, oh, sorry, I gotta go play pretend and cry. And like when I was, I don't know, I just had like this weird like out of body, I was like watching Ginny and Georgia and I was like, loser, loser, like you're all freaks. no that's the conclusion that we've come to like to be an actor working actor like successful like you have to be a freak like there's no way to be normal yeah that's why when someone seems normal like they are so adored like glenn powell seems normal yes but like powell is normal for sure but he could there's no way i don't know i mean i've met him a couple of times and he was like really outgoing and normal and whatever yeah oh hold on let me pick up the name i just dropped it was really weird though because like he like wanted to like hug up with my friend and not me So like that was definitely like a blow to the ego.

57:02Who was your friend? Like an influencer friend? Like an influencer friend. And you don't want to tell us? When was this? It was like, oh my God, so. Like it's in the past. Well, actually like I was like dating someone else. I'm over here being like, why didn't you want to hug up with me? Bitch, you came with someone else. So maybe he did. Let's just go with that. Mamas need every sense of delusion that you can get. He didn't want to step on toes. He's not that kind of guy. No, he didn't want to step on toes. Like I'm like living in like my own delusion. Like where like I walk down the street with my daughter besides like the whole like horror bit that I do in my head.

57:37My other bit is I'm like oh my god like people are like staring at me. They're like who is this young girl like with like is she a nanny? Like I see a high schoolers passing me and I'm like they probably like think I'm like a couple years older than them. Yeah. And I'm like finally had to look in the mirror and be like listen you dumb bitch. You are not young. Like you don't look like a teenager. But like you do. When I walk around, I literally am like, oh, my God, that guy's checking me out. He's 14. Oh, OK. No. OK, Bonnie Blue. I'm like, oh, my God, they probably think I'm like so cool. And it's like, no, like you're an old mom loser.

58:13No, there's nothing cooler. Anyway, me with my bump. I'm like, oh, my God, they're checking me out. LOL. You're like, I didn't want to hit on me when I'm pregnant. Like Glenn. well now it is time for dear toasters which is our weekly advice segment i'm here to do it with lauren i'm so excited if you ever want to submit to dear toasters you can email us dear toasters at gmail.com or go to the submission form on our website it's always anonymous and we're here to help out the swirlies so let's get into it this first one i'm conflicted hey swirlies i went on a first date last night and was confused with an interesting situation in a very open honest and respectful way he told me that he was divorced not a big deal and that his marriage had a number of issues but at the end of the day he was unfaithful to his wife leading to their divorce now what does one do with this information run fast for your mother it was just a first date so i don't even know how i feel about him or the situation but as a general rule of thumb should we be giving cheaters a second chance people make mistakes but also once a cheater always a cheater would love your thoughts p.s i'm submitting this to good guys too because i do think the girlies and guys might look at this differently i do hope that they pick yours because i'd love to know their advice because I too am conflicted I don't so broad too I don't have like strong opinions about cheating because I just haven't experienced it enough to like I don't have the experience to say like oh that's just a character blonde like he'll always be that way I a part of me you know the forgiving naive part of me wants to be like people can change right but to cheat on your wife I think I am like in a phase where I'm very much like you like I can't believe you would believe that they're not going to like cheat on you.

59:52I'm like no like run like but like obviously like now like you know saying it into a microphone. I'm like no but like there's like the exceptions to the rule and like people can change and all this stuff. But like when it's like my friends in real life, I'm like, don't be a dumb bitch. He's going to cheat on you. I hate this man. If this was your friend, that's what you would say. Like if it was my friend and especially like I think when there's like kids involved, that's when I get like really psycho. I'm like, absolutely not. Like he is a piece of shit who just like ruined his children's life and his family's life and his wife and all this stuff.

1:00:28But then I'm like thinking about like maybe like a young like a young person with no kids and like maybe it was a mistake. And like you're like met this P-jom and like you're like having a great time. Like maybe I would be like wait no guys like he'll change. So it's like I can't go like I'm like I don't know. No and like some people cheat and ruin their lives so completely that they never want to do it again. Like it's the biggest mistake they've ever made. They've learned the hard way. Like everyone knows not to cheat, but until you really like feel the pain of like what that means, you might not really understand why cheating is so bad.

1:01:01But like, I think it's possible that he could have had that experience where like he lost. I mean, his relationship obviously had other issues, but like that it was the biggest mistake of his life. It was the biggest learning lesson. And I do think someone like that, like wouldn't do it again. That reminds me of Freddie from Love is Blind UK. He was like, seriously. Oh, that would see. That's a great example. Like, that's a great example. If you went out with Freddie from Love is Blind UK, like, yes, he cheated in the past. I don't care. No, like when he said that, I was like, no, like you're fine.

1:01:29You're fine. You're good. Like give him a chance. You could see how it tore him up inside. And he like hated himself for it. Perfect example. Truly. So I would say on the one hand, it's one date. Like, why are we having these like really hard questions and like worrying about it? He was honest about it, too. He was honest about it. But like, if you're really so worried about this and maybe some people have like cheating trauma where it's like, well, now, you know, he's a cheater and you like are always worried about getting cheated on. maybe you guys aren't right for each other because like your baggage and his baggage like don't mesh but like someone who's coming in open to cheating like not open to cheating okay i'm really open to cheating not traumatized by cheating it's not always worried about cheating it's like more of a just like has ability to be a little bit more trusting maybe it would be a better match for him so maybe at this stage like maybe you guys shouldn't even go into liking each other because maybe these issues will come up but if like you got like a freddy from love is wine uk vibe from him where this was like the biggest mistake he ever made and like it was good because it taught him that he will never cheat again and also there's like emotional cheating and the physical cheating so like maybe he just like got drunk and like hooked up and like oh my god whatever like there is so many caveats to it but i think freddie as from love is blind is the the map for you yeah you know what i mean but he could also be the exception to the rule and like most likely everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule i know and as someone that is the exception to the rule i'm like no please like don't like you're the exception to which rule to getting pregnant and then getting married after and like actually having like a really incredible fiance and like amazing like love story like guys like got really lucky like don't know like what karma i deserved but like everyone else i'm like don't trust it don't do it don't trust it yeah i'm like don't do it how long were you and matt together before you got pregnant i don't know like four or five six months yeah like not a lot reminds me of lindsey hubbard a little bit do you relate to her I mean not really I love her no just I'm saying like I mean they were like just I feel because they just broke up because they do well yes but I think they weren't compatible and I think that I I think that watching her on reality tv and watching her kind of feel the same way about every single guy and so I just couldn't like really trust what she was saying and then we like didn't get to meet him right so you didn't so I was like I didn't like yeah I didn't see how he would be different so I wasn't sure that type of vibe yeah I understand so you're saying you're you wouldn't recommend people do it this way it's obviously worked out for you but like you're the exception correct but i don't believe in like everyone's the exceptions because don't girl we're girls i'm just a girl of course i think i'm going to be the exception to the role you know no but like odds just numbers wise like yeah probably not going to be the exception and if this isn't like the great love of your life just like no but it's one date like okay unless it's like a tiny town he's the only single person trust your gut yeah trust your gut but i just want to say like it's possible that people can change yeah it's hard but sure next um a little bridal advice we need from miss xle my fiance is from south carolina and comes from a very traditional southern family i have been looking at wedding dresses and i am concerned they will think whatever i choose isn't appropriate we are getting married in a church for a reference i'm not looking for anything too sexy or revealing but i like an open back or a sleeveless dress how should i approach this thing swirlies approach it to who to approach it to whatever she picks out she just is like nervous is open back to revealing for a church I don't I don't think so I mean like I've had friends get married with like strapless like I think it just like depends on like you're like I've had one friend like where we all had to wear like little shawls or like you can wear something and like cover it up and then like take it off after you leave church I think it just depends on like your church, your preferences, like stuff like that.

1:05:04But I feel like she like said like the family thing. Yeah. About the family. And like another thing that like I think being a mom and being older has made me, I'm like, I don't give a fuck. What anyone thinks. Yeah. Like what? Like, oh, you're going to like run it by your mother-in-law, like your mom, like your aunt, like your crazy aunt. Like, bye. Like, I don't care. Come if you want. Come or don't. I would say go with the dress that like you feel best in because everyone has like a certain shape that suits their body. yeah and the open back is like yeah and what i will also say and something that i did is like for my ceremony and like being married under a chuppah my dress was uh strapless and then i i had like i used part of like the tool to give me um like a little to cover my my chest and my arms i can't remember if i wound up wearing that for the ceremony i think i might have forgotten and then like didn't care but that was my plan i think a lot of girls do that to use the stuff from your dress.

1:05:57Yeah. Is to like put something, cover you in the church. And I think that will like signal that you're being respectful. And then for the party, you get to wear the dress that you want, but like, you do want to be respectful in a church. You obviously like have reverence for your religion and you don't want to show up in something that's inappropriate. Um, but I think maybe like covering up or, uh, you know, a shawl, a shrug, there are a lot of different things. If you go to a bridal salon and you say like, how could I make this more modest for half the day? They will help you do that. They can use material that they've cut from the back and like make you something um and then for the party you're wearing the dress that you want i feel like that's like a good solution and it shows that like you have respect and you like care about what they think and you don't you're not trying to like piss them off and like shame them but it also shows that you're your own person right and you like you're clearly asking so like you already care yeah it's not like you're like someone that's you know thrown up two middle fingers i'm just someone that's where i'm like okay like you had to stop the people pleasing at some point where it's like you know the i'm sure your open back dress isn't like down to your like butt crack like you're like crack might like like i've worn dresses like that where it's like whoa this is like really low so i'm sure it's like probably like not even that like scandalous or you wouldn't even be considering wearing it yeah and if you're worried about like what other people at the wedding will think about that that's going to trickle into every single decision you make for your wedding anyway what are they going to think about the food what are they going to think about it it's like at some point like the the main thing about the wedding that i always go back to is like this is about me and Matt I naturally like love hosting people I'm gonna take care of everyone but like ultimately like I'm gonna take care of everyone in our way like it's about just like getting married to the love of your life and if you have to like wear a shrug at church because you're getting married in the church that's cool too like it's fine and I think like for most of the things about a wedding you're doing it for other people like you want music they're gonna like yeah they're gonna eat the dress is the one thing that's for you and you alone and it's like the complete representation of like who you are so go with the dress that you want even if it's open back like what about a veil that's like really long and covers your back idea too and then you take it off outside the church and like mom's having a fun night out i think that you could be flexible on this and like please everyone while also not losing yourself i just can't imagine that the dress is like too scandalous either i feel like it's probably just like maybe like a little bit of skin and you're just like nervous but i think we get like you gave good veil shrug yeah my i don't i need to look at my ceremony pictures i think i wore it but it was just tool wrapped around my chest.

1:08:17That's genius. Yeah. And my whole dress was twirl. It's super cute. And then you have like two different looks. Yeah. I love it. Next one. This is from a new mama. Good morning. I heard a fellow toaster on a previous year toaster who was still pregnant and not having sex, which made me write in. Yes. And I remember we had someone, she was like seven months pregnant and like she didn't want to have sex and she was like, she was like, wanted to know if like she was being crazy. So this made her write in. She said, I'm seven months postpartum. My husband and I haven't had sex since we conceived. It took us a while to get pregnant, so sex for a while became mature and emotionally exhausting.

1:08:49I don't feel in the mood quite literally ever or comfortable in my new body. I have stretch marks on my belly, weight gain, etc. And I know I just grew and birthed an actual human, but somehow I feel so guilty and feel like this is not fair to my husband. So, oh, to not be having sex with him. Now we're so far out, it's awkward to even initiate or speak on it. Help, do I just bite the bullet and take one for the team with the lights off, of course? or just wait it out till I'm comfortable in my new body and get the urge again. Thanks. A postpartum, tired, and sexless toaster. This is tough. This is tough.

1:09:21Because it's like, you don't want to be like, yeah, just go do it. But I feel like sometimes as a girl, you almost have to initiate and just start so that you end up in the mood and you end up getting there. Yeah. Because seven months, I mean, it took me a while because I had all my situation downstairs. Right. and it's like you I still don't feel I'm like what she'll be too I still don't feel like 100 % like great about everything going on down there especially when it comes to like having sex it's like oh my god like you know you have like trauma like of something like getting ripped out of your body and like you're like self-conscious but I mean after seven months I feel like you actually might not realize it might make you actually feel more connected to your husband and feel good and like me like it might be a little bit more in your head maybe you have to get out of your own way.

1:10:08Yeah, that's what I think there's like two things like one, like not being like comfortable in your body, which it's like, but we all feel that way. And it's, it's not the greatest feeling. But that's why he's your husband, like he loves you for who you are. And I think he can appreciate your body for what's given him. And I imagine that he's a good man. So like, you have to get out of your head about that. But it also I guess you're like back in this like awkward stage of like, how do you initiate it? And I feel like doing something like special, like maybe a little trip maybe a weekend sexy trip maybe uh you could always like go out to dinner and like try but i think like martin not just like one night trying to like yeah stir something up but like getting overall like in the mood of like just being flirty with each other and going on a date and like setting the mood sometimes it's like the lead up of the entire day before you have sex at night that's actually like the foreplay of like just like being more flirtatious in the morning and like making little comments like setting the stage of like oh like she's like into this like making like little jokes and it could even if like if you were like okay well I don't have a babysitter I can't take a trip I can't do this like just like light a bunch of candles like there's like candles that are like ten dollars on Amazon like just something that you're like trying to like make yourself feel more in the mood if that's what you want or for me it's literally just like I have to communicate it's like you have to figure out like what your thing is that makes you feel comfortable and sometimes mine is like either just going for it or communicating like hey i gotta i gotta get this off my chest i gotta tell you how i'm feeling because then it's like it's released yeah i've been feeling self-conscious i don't i haven't felt like having sex i feel really guilty because i want you to know that i love you and i do feel like having sex with you that's i mean communication it's always like right down there on i like projectile but no that's also a nice idea i guess it depends what kind of like some people don't like to talk about these things right so it depends on like your communication style and like end your relationship but if you just want to like do a grand gesture and I think doing like a trip or something I mean it's just I guess it's seven months like it's possible if you have like good child care or like family that can watch your baby like you can go away for like two nights even one night like that's your way of communicating like I think we need this and then it's like just message received I'm like assuming that he's a peach he's very patient and like he's been giving you time and space and like he deserves a little love and like you will feel better better after right like you have you're gonna have to force yourself to like create this the conditions yeah but I think once you're in those like vacations are romantic a dinner is like spending one-on-one time with your partner after you have a seven-month-old and you've just been through newborn trenches like you will feel differently if you like take a moment to get out of your routine get all dressed up like and feel special and we're not telling you that you have to have sex by the way if you don't feel like having sex don't do it but I think communicating that is a good idea yeah I think don't feel bad that you haven't had sex yet I think everybody is different and everybody's body is different so don't be like oh my god wait like I should have like wrote into dear toasters like three months ago and like done this already like no like you're good seven months postpartum is like really not that it's really not crazy but it's a good time to get back into it right but and I think I think it's like the push you need is just being like okay like I actually like want to feel connected to my husband yeah and maybe like you want to have baby maybe you want to have a baby start get back on that horse see how it rides for the second time who knows like think about it as like oh i want another baby guess i gotta fuck yeah sometimes that's what is that's what does it yeah and that could be the like the motivating factor for you yeah whatever get you back on the horse yeah giddy up my girly swirly but if all else fails talking about it and letting him know that like you know that this is probably not his favorite and like that you're wanting to like work on things and get to a better place about it like i think he would appreciate that too if like no one's saying anything about it yeah and it's like it's not like men understand women postpartum so it's like he probably has like no idea what's going for me i wouldn't be like i want you to know how hard this is for me like do you not understand how different i feel in my body like i'm like i'm communicating to like also make you feel bad for me like to him like you look the same yeah oh yeah he like dude like i was gonna be really vulgar for a second but like he just wants to fuck dude like you're good he's not like looking at like your belly now but like really you look the same to him yeah you're fine you're great actually you're great make it fun and if you don't want to do it like just communicate it but if you do like you know plan a little booty slap during the day that would also just like mean so much him even if like whatever happens on your little trip like if you went to the effort of like finding child care for one or two nights getting a hotel like planning a little trip yeah i don't know where you guys live but like if they're a little beach fate whatever if i did that matt would be like oh my god yeah oh my god like head over heels the last 15 months of sexless life washed away oh and ready now i know what i'm doing when i get home well good luck to you So please, anyone, if anyone ever wants to send us an update, that would always be much appreciated.

1:15:07I want to know when you fuck. Let us know. Let us know when it goes, how it goes. Thank you so much, Lauren Elizabeth, for your help with the toasters community. Absolutely. And for today's episode, this was so much fun. And you're back with me tomorrow because we have another slumber party tonight. You're going to be at my house. We have a big day. We have a big day. So you'll be joining me again tomorrow. So sorry. And we're going to have a ball. Oh my goodness. Such a classic toasty energy. CTE. Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. well um thank you so much for having me i'm gonna go where can everyone follow you lauren elizabeth on everything you can shop laurenelizabethshop.com get yourself some cute home decor a little sold out right now but we got some good things coming good things coming well we love you all and we will see you tomorrow love ya bye