Taking Accountability on the Road: Wednesday, January 14th, 2026

0:16I sound amazing. welcome back to the toast and happy hump day don't forget to hum someone you love and speaking of somebody that i love and as you guys know would do anything to hump it's jackie how you doing i'm doing well thank you happy to be a guest on koji's corner today yes thank you all for tuning in to this new segment we are calling koji's corner where koji sits in a corner and tells you how she feels sounds amazing and she collects community members in koji's corner i'm wearing a hat on the show today a little baseball cap a little toasty merch even though our merch takes an eternity to come you'll look like that so the hats are top quality fabric and it's just I feel like it's a different vibe like who knows what's gonna happen do you remember our hat era sometimes like clips will come across my desk of like when you and I wore hats a couple of times like for a week what yeah we had a hat era I can like remember I can count on my hands the times I've worn a hat on this show and it's so few because it's not like I did it and never wanted to do it again the next day.

1:19So I wonder how this one's going to go. I just felt like my outfit needed a little more personality. Plus it was like rainy this morning. So I was like, let me throw a baseball cap on out the way at the door. No, you look so cute. Your merch, by the way, we absolutely need to like change our merch to be called Eternity Merch. It's kind of a beautiful name. And like we let people know off the bat, like our merch will take an eternity to come. It's a beautiful name. I know. And we can have a logo with like the Eternity symbol. Yeah, infinity symbol. Yeah, isn't that nice? That's really beautiful.

1:47eternitymerch.com. Like where's your shirt from? Eternity. Eternity apparel. Eternity and maternity. Oh, is that the maternity for eternity? That'll be a capsule collection by eternity. Oh, well that's like my line specifically. Possibilities are endless when you embrace the eternity. The possibilities are eternal. That's also true. Here at eternity. Thank you all for tuning. Yeah. Thank you all for tooting. How are you tooting today? I'm doing amazing because I didn't stay up late watching Tell Me Lies, but you did. I didn't know like we were committed to doing a recap. Well, you were at my house yesterday.

2:27Before you left, I was like, what's on tonight? And you were like, Tell Me Lies, two episodes. So I killed myself to watch one and a quarter episodes of Tell Me Lies. And I was like so mad, but I had to go to sleep. And I was like, well, she's going to spoil it for me on the show tomorrow because she watched two. Turns out she watched none. Yeah, I was just like sort of taking it easy last night. You know, we had dinner together. I moseyed on home. What did I do? Oh, we FaceTimed with my Mahatunam sister because she like opened some boxes for me while I was in back in New York. So, yeah, I just sort of took it easy.

2:56Very self-care kind of. I'm happy for you. So that's what for you. No, I have a question. How long do you think Tell Me Lies goes on for? Oh, how many seasons? Well. Is it the four years of college? Well, no, because like Stephen's going to graduate. So like what? Oh, he's older. Yeah, he's a senior. thank god get rid of him yeah uh but they're also eight years in the future with the wedding so they can do a lot with it and I imagine it's like if it ain't broke don't fix it like we have a hit show on our hands why would we end it but I do think that at some point they should end it with dignity right maybe at like season four so if this is three like maybe we have one more season I just made that up yeah but I don't think it's a show that like can go on forever without it getting stupid with like all the different twists and turns that eventually lead us to this wedding Yeah.

3:45It's also really crazy that the two of them are still dating IRL. Yeah. It's kind of amazing, but it's so crazy. And it's definitely not a PR relationship. It's just extremely convenient for the network. But I also imagine like when you're, and this happens all the time, like when you're on these sets of these shows that are like hot and heavy, like you can't help but fall in love. Art imitates life and life imitates art. It's beautiful. That's sort of the message for the first episode of Koji's Corner. Oh, really? What about your art is imitating your life and vice versa? Well, our art is our life.

4:13When you live your art, you don't need to answer questions like that. When you live your truth in an authentic way. And in a cojourner truth kind of way. And the authenticity is internal. That's beautiful. I know. The authenticity is eternal. It sounds like you listened to Hunter Hayes in the car on the way here. I didn't. But you were just singing that? I made a TikTok to Hunter Hayes this morning. Oh. Is he going viral? No, I wish. Like, if the world was a good place, Hunter Hayes would be going viral. He's such a pee job. But the world is disgusting. No, I don't want good and I don't want good enough.

4:45I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love from porch and one more kiss. It doesn't make sense to anybody else. Who cares if you're all I think about. I've searched the world and I know now it ain't right if you ain't lost your mind. I don't want easy. I want crazy. You with me, baby. Let's be crazy. Yeah, he takes it up a notch there. He has a really crazy register. What were you doing? I heard that song on TikTok this morning. Someone was like, give me Hunter Hayes 2014 back. And it was like shocking to me how I literally haven't heard that song in maybe 10 years. And I knew every single word.

5:24It goes so hard. It has no business going so hard. Don't be near me or my shoulders when that song comes on. No one's on one good. I'll listen to it in the car on the way home. Yeah. Hunter Hayes actually slays in a lot of ways. No, he has a beautiful voice and he makes amazing music. and he has like new music and it's still amazing. He wrote a song called Dear God. Do you know that one? Yeah. Cry. Yeah. Cry, tears. I want to ask you something about something that's happening on the internet. Oh, sure. No, not like anything personal. I want to ask you something. What do you think about men and women's sports?

5:57What do you think about it? I think that I really value my career as always. And that's just what I want to lead with always. I'm literally the Jimmy Fallon of the podcasting industry. What you need me to say, I will say it. I don't stand for anything. Okay. We love that for you. No, I was going to ask you about this trend that I'm seeing on the internet and I want to know where it hails from. 2016? 2016. I have no fucking idea. I saw Tinks posting like a collage of her. I saw Danielle Carolan. Okay. So I thought like Tinks was just doing something like on her own. I'm like, oh, that's like a cute thing.

6:27Apparently it's a part of a big trend and I saw my sister do it, posting ugly pictures of me from 2016. When they met me, I just, I need to participate in all trends and I did check my Instagram. I posted like really cute video. Did you say you're in it? No. Wait. do you post it to feed or stories i haven't had a chance to be on my phone this morning feed i posted to feed you didn't say no i haven't had a chance to be on my phone oh my gosh there you are first one butterflies love you're going i heard it's 2016 yeah i'm getting involved okay but like where did you hear that and why oh my god that can't be so literal i don't know it's a trend oh there's me okay if you listen to the i want to enjoy watching yeah later um Um, unfortunately for me, like 2016 was the ugliest I have ever been.

7:07And if I have anything to do with it, the ugliest I will ever be. So I was very limited in my pool of content because, um, like I said, I was moly and fat and ugly and just like, oh my God, girl, try like, and I was obsessed with eyeliner when we did the breath and like the first year of the toast. Yeah. The first year of the toast, I wore every day, the thickest, most uneven, poorly applied black eyeliner on and like with a wing a poorly constructed one nobody said anything to me and of course like if you did I would have just like thought you were a hater who was jealous of me and my beauty but it's insane that I left the house that day and that's how I know actually that Ben really loves me like he was with me during that time and he loved me like so much then it's insane how dumb and like blind he is that's really funny I do remember the winged eyeliner and what did you think about it at the time like we were talking about it behind my back I didn't think about it.

7:59I thought my sister was saying per usual. You and Ben, like two blind idiots. That's really sweet. Maybe I'll go look at like 2016. That was a good year. That was a fun year. And it was like fun to see like Snitch's carousel. And like for once, I'm in everything. Yeah, right. These days, no. No, she's traveling. No campers to be found. But like we used to hang out so much. All of us. We still do. I mean, look at us. Yeah. But we used to hang out so much. We used to party so much. There was so much good stuff. We used to party so much. And party so hard. When I was watching Tell Me Lies last night, I was like getting a pick because like this isn't a spoiler or anything, but they do Molly.

8:37And then the next day they're like coming down and like anxiety and not like just that whole like phase of like drinking hang-xiety. Like, oh my God. I was literally having hang-xiety just watching it. Whenever I watch people on TV do drugs, even if it goes well, it's not like a bad drug story I get the worst pit in my stomach because I'm either waiting for something to go wrong I don't know like drugs give me the worst anxiety always so I feel that yeah it was like that's what I like about this show it really transports you and like you I just have like anxiety the whole time I'm watching it um and they also really capture like that era I'm the era so it's so great and um immersive I would say but like oh my god I don't miss those like I had it was fun while it laughed in.

9:22But like we're looking at it the rose colored glasses. Nostalgia is a mind trick. If I'd been there I hate it. Yeah but like all the partying Yeah. I'm good without. Really? Watch Tell Me Lies. No I know. Well that type of partying like I've had many party eras and I would think like you know my more sophisticated party era was one of my favorites you know. What's your more sophisticated party era? Not like club rat dirty eyeliner vibes like I don't know. I just feel like I had a sophisticated era I was like going to better parties with better people sophisticated parties yeah and like lots of wealthy people that was fun but what about like the drinking lots of drinking of course yeah so you're wearing a hat so I'm wearing a hat and did Zach bring that hat and said he thinks you should wear this hat to the party tonight yeah it's an option for a hat I could wear to the party tonight I have others so we'll see I have some other options from maternity merch that's amazing I love their stuff yeah are you okay yeah are you like i was being silly it's not what we do for a living yeah are you okay yeah i'm great do you want to get deep open up um let's think let's think i don't really have anything like new to share okay you know just like plugging along you don't want to tell everyone that big thing you're going through oh my god you're so crazy no i mean i am going through a big thing i just had a baby yeah yeah which is a huge thing major uh so yeah just doing that yeah and how's that it's good yeah yeah yeah it is how about you but the whole day with you yesterday we did spend the whole day together yeah what it was was that i was in the car and in order to like get to my next destination i had to make a u-turn on this big ass Florida street.

11:15And I was like changing lanes and actually like was within inches from my life. And I decided that the U-turn was not for me. And then the street, the street I saw next, I do know that that street led to your house because I see it all the time when I drive to your house. And I said, everyone buckle up. We're going to Jackie's. That's how I ended up at your house. I ended up at my house. Yeah. Changing lanes is such drama. Changing lanes is not for me you know i plan my turns two turns in advance so i never wind up in the wrong lane and as i become a more seasoned driver with every day you know sometimes i do see the opportunity to change a little correct but just to like get to your destination faster like just be a little bit more comfortable in the lanes yeah like not with someone in front of me and behind me yeah one next is wide open of course just like why aren't you guys going into it what's wrong with this lane i am constantly like gaming i don't know if everybody thinks about lane changes yeah the whole time and i was really taught to drive by ben soffer who is obsessed with changing lanes like like pac-man yeah goes between every car like just to keep going ahead frogger and the funniest is when you see someone change lanes from behind you because they're trying to like get there faster than like you both end up at the red light together and it's like what did that get you almost killed your whole family for what for what we're still sitting at the same light So both yesterday and actually on my way again this morning, I had like a near fatal lanes change.

12:36Like to me, if I ever get in a car crash, it will be from changing lanes. Yeah. Do you have a good camera on your car that shows like when you have your signal on to change lanes, it like shows you? No, Tesla has that. Mine has like, no, I have my rear view mirror. And then on the mirror, there's a little orange triangle. So it's like, don't go. But I do feel like the triangle is like a little sensitive, like bitch, I could fit. So a lot of times I will effectively, I will effectively change lanes, even though the triangle was flashing. But then sometimes like the triangle, I was like, oh, yeah, you were onto something there, triangle.

13:05My bad, my bad. And so this morning, this guy was like, I literally almost killed him. He was so mad at me. And it's very important when driving to not always be on the offensive, like to know when you're wrong. Like I was wrong and I was like, oh, my God. And he was like, it's weird. So, you know, I was making friends on the road as well and just sort of taking accountability, which is really important. It's so good to take accountability. On the road. When you're driving. I take a lot of accountability. I've been like digging up my car. Just digging it up? just digging it up like we have to park a lot we do commuting requires a lot of parking last week i didn't update you guys because it was a friday episode but after i i parked on the street and paid the meter i like forgot that where i parked like there was a curb in front of me so like when i left you just started driving straight and did you mark up your vehicle i didn't see anything but I saw a lady on the sidewalk and she looked at me and I was like the whole car like you know what you realize when you drive a lot when you drive a lot and like start doing it up you realize like your car can take a lot you know like something that you think would leave a mark but you have a white car my car's black like next car I'm getting black yeah what goes on in my vehicle is a really good point is genuinely none of my business and yesterday i parked in a regular parking spot but i guess i went like too close to the what's it called at the front of the parking spot the concrete slab the curb no no oh oh like the um the parking the bumper the line what is the line that you pull up to that it's like a concrete block i parked like i guess on top of it um so when i pulled out there was another bump there was another um jump the car was jumping you were jumping and thumping and bump in and wilding out yeah so um lessons learned taking accountability for that might be yeah it's just like this is again another thing where like for me and my personal journey new york has florida b like it's seriously the cab driver's problem if i'm in a vehicle and like what happens next i have actually been in motor vehicle collisions like in a taxi or an uber it's not your problem i literally get out like i'm sorry that that happened sir but i have places to be same like I've actually been in a taxi that's been pulled over and I'm not responsible in New York City like you can just get out and I often do I always have I've been rear-ended I've been pulled over and I'm like you're on your own I said we all gotta run our own race yeah and sir I wish you the best but I have a podcast to record I guess it like it would be in the moment it feels weird to leave because it's like what if he needs help like what if I need to give a statement but in in thinking about these things it's like why would you stick around like why you don't know this person right you don't like leave why are you hanging out in a random car yeah and it's like I am an empath of course but I'm a realist first and I know like if I stay here and support this man in his journey like I will be late for work 1000 % and like is the meter still running okay so let me think in the times that I have when I got rear-ended in the uber uber's easy like I just said end the trip and I had I paid whatever but in the yellow cab when he got pulled over.

16:13I think I paid. Yeah, of course. He's about to get a big fat ticket. It's the lease I can do. But he has to end the meter. Which he was able to do. Meter equaled ended. Yeah, I think also if you're like a New York City traffic cop, you know part of pulling over a cab is like the paperwork comes first. Yeah, speaking of I meant to ask the gang about where I parked. It said like, I just want to make sure, like it said all others will be towed, you know. Oh, I know. Wait. But I do think, no, it's not. Did you park there? No. I parked back there and there's a couple spots that are safe for a particular tenant.

16:41I one time parked there and I got a nasty sticker on my car. Okay, so. But then there's others that are like, but it's part of the plaza. And I said, but I'm in the plaza. I'm a customer of the plaza. So I'm so glad you brought that up because if you guys saw me texting on my phone right here before, I am parked in. In the other tenant? Yeah, and I just got a text about it. So that's why I just asked her to go out and like maybe move my car. Oh, I was wondering what the drama was. If you saw me on my phone, like there's a vehicle drama, vehicular drama. I experienced that in June. I parked in the other tenant and they take their parking really seriously.

17:10And now that we're like doing sort of like a residency at this studio like how do we go about getting a sign yeah saved for like the most famous podcasters on the planet and that would apply to anyone who uses this studio no it wouldn't but we get it at this hour correct just someone to talk to the city council about you know yeah the next meeting okay i know you like to be like an informed community member i am yeah am i something to think about well let's get into the story shall we as long as your car is not getting towed yeah well actually what's great is that ben was just wrapping off a t-shirt for me right um and so he's working on that can you handle the car thing are we good do we have to move the car we have to move the car okay i just feel like that person who gets that special vehicle while i understand that they're an important person the person who gets the the special spot are they an important person i don't feel like they are well i know that they're a business owner in this complex and like so i just feel like they could have fucked off and like for once tried to you know join the rest of us in struggling to find a parking spot it's for their customers and i just feel like they don't have enough to justify the two spots no it's for them it's for the business owner confirmed business owner yeah what's the business well the owner of that oh oh they oh yeah yeah oh i thought it was for their customers no no i'm like well it's well i'll buy a watch like it's always open so yeah what does that say now we do have stories to get into even though i don't feel i feel like it's one of those days where the stories are just like kind of an inconvenient truth.

18:35I agree. And who knows where they'll lead. So as always, like we will do the stories. Of course. But if we don't harp on them. Don't be upset. There's not like a lot to harp on. I just feel like it's going to be one of those days where I have no choice but to make every story about myself, which is different from other days, of course. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see where we can go with it. But you're just looking so like, you know, no, like your little hands, like your nails look so long and nice. I'm kind of jealous and you've got like jewels and you're just looking cute you know like when I'm just thank you for noticing I'm trying to enhance other areas like of course of course of course no when you're not when you're not loving when you're not when you're not living in your dream body like other things do need to just like be amped up like I always wear more makeup when I'm like feeling insecure about my weight I always do my hair like better than ever I wear more jewelry I'm on top of my nails I'm always like waxing my eyebrows as if like it's gonna take 10 pounds off you know and then I do weigh myself after because like the weight of the hair of course and it's very heavy yeah of course heavy is the head so thank you for noticing the little details it's been a pleasure and an honor you are a detailed person I would say I would say but you can't get lost in the details is what I would also say focus on big picture shop eternity shop eternity merch.com yeah it's actually shoptoesmerch.com and it will take an eternity but it's the best things you ever wore like for real like like seriously things you'll give to your grandchildren like this hat is from like three years ago looks brand new it's from like a year ago but yeah i'm like you now everything was three years ago isn't it amazing to live like without that time space continuum everything was two to three years ago two to three weeks or two to three years or two to three months yeah not sure without further ado to do here are the fast five stories that you do need to know in no particular order um in no particular order let's i don't know it feels like the order is a a little particular since you're moving things around.

20:31Yeah. You didn't choose that crazy headline, did you? I don't know what I chose. No, the one that you showed me before the show. No, no. Can you read it to everyone? Oh my gosh, yes. Jackie was like strolling the Daily Mail and she was like, this headline just kept getting crazier. This is a worst nightmare headline. And just when you think the headline is over and it couldn't possibly get worse, it does. Harrowing moment, 550 pound internet star is lifted into police van by six in caps cops because she was too big to fit an SUV during arrest. Why are you laughing? Before she vanished. You are before she vanished.

21:08What? I just want to say laughing at a time like this, you are never beating the fatphobic allegations. No, but like just the story gets crazier and crazier. And like, was she found? I don't know because it's a Daily Mail exclusive and I don't subscribe. So we'll never know what happened. Not them putting important news behind a paywall. Yeah. And like they just keep like bringing up her weight. It's just a nightmare scenario. I know. And that always was something that gave me peace as an overweight person was that I was definitely harder to kidnap. And now that I'm on set bound, like I'm constantly worried about my safety.

21:41I don't even understand. I don't understand the headline. Well, then it's not a story. Like why was she being left? Why was she in police custody? She is a modern day. what's eating Gilbert Grape. Not enough people talk about that movie. One of Johnny Depp's earliest works, him and Leonardo DiCaprio are both in it. They're both like 16. And they play this like really poor family who live in the middle of nowhere. And their mother is like morbidly obese. She like can't even, she can't leave her bed. And Leonardo DiCaprio is autistic, right? In the film. And Johnny Depp's just like trying to keep this family together, trying to go to school, trying to fall in love, trying to do this.

22:19and eventually, spoiler alert, the mother passes away in her sleep and they don't want to call an ambulance because they wouldn't be able to get her out of the house. They'd have to forklift her out and it would be too much shame for the family. So they end up burning the house down with her in it. It was so wild. We were watching that movie. I saw that movie. I was like 11. I know, but that was the movie of that year. Imagine if they came out now. And by the way, that movie was like, what's the opposite of woke? That movie was insane. He wouldn't bring girls home because he was so embarrassed of his mom.

22:50It was like, it was really, I remember. What was the point of the movie? What was eating Gilbert, you know? Yeah, I don't know. Well, let's get into the actual stories, not the not story. If you just, if you want to be upset, you should watch that movie. Our first story, I actually would like to watch that movie now as an adult, like see what it was about. Yeah, what all the fuss was about. Because like we just remember like the very like. Dark parts. No, and like memorable parts. And did anybody else see that movie or just us when we were 11? No, I think that that was like the Oscar movie of the year.

23:20The same way Slumdog Millionaire was like the movie. Like that was the movie. Like the fact that when everyone, when there were those jokes that like the Oscars, Leo had never had an Oscar and he had like, that movie was his Oscar movie. Like he was the most profound performance. But you know, the Oscar is about a body of work and that was like his first movie. Who cares? Just, I'm just telling you. That kid from adolescence just won. And like that was his first work. Yeah. They just make shit up. Yeah. Okay. And like, you're not, you're buying into it. body of work. It's like letting you know what they would, how they would respond to that, you know?

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29:26I wouldn't say like every day is packed with vitamins and minerals, but they take their AG1 and they're feeling great. AG One has over 50 ,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee. Go to drinkag1.com slash toast to get their best offer. For a limited time only, get a free AG One duffel bag and a free AG One welcome kit with your first subscription order. Only while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash toast. drinkag1.com slash toast. First up, let's get into the stories. Jessica Simpson announces a collaboration with Chicken of the Sea 22 years after the iconic reality TV moment.

30:06Have they not done this already? It feels redundant. It does feel redundant. It obviously feels late. And why now? I feel like there were a couple times they could have done it. Obviously right after it happened. But also after her memoir, there were just a lot of big Jessica moments. And that's going to be so dumb. But I don't eat tuna. Chicken of the Sea is a brand of tuna. Yes. And when she was on her newlyweds show, she was like, well, is it chicken or tuna? Because it is. By the way, I never like she's so done. It's a bad name. That's like having a brand of chips. It's like cookies of earth.

30:40Like, well, it's a chip. Yeah, I understand the confusion, but it is tuna. And if you're eating it, I think you would know it's tuna. OK, but also just devil's advocate here. What makes tuna the chicken of the sea? It just like it being the most ubiquitous animal eaten. I didn't even know that they were still around as a brand. That's quite a feat. I think your husband uses it. Absolutely not. I literally know he does that wild. Yeah. Wild earth salmon. No, but when he does tuna. Oh, sorry. Wild earth albacore. You know that one. Albacore. And like if he has to, he'll do star kiss. He does not mess around with chicken of the sea.