The Fast Ten: Monday, July 28th, 2025

0:20I sound amazing. welcome back to the toast patreon happy end of july e-o-j also means end of fork oh thank fucking god not if i have anything to do with it well honestly the patreon has been contributing negatively to my mental health because this week not only do you have a pargy fast five episode jackie and i are going to talk about all the comings and goings it's like fast 10 i'm not whittling down stories i'm doing every story that is you can't fucking put jackie in a box you can't and this is patreon there's no rules there's no boundaries and i'm not going to skimp on stories that interested me lawlessness because i'm confined to five now i just want to say that also makes it so that i could do four right but the jack giveth the jack also taketh away but because these are once a week episodes there's a lot to talk about and i ain't skimping and this week is the last week of july which means you have two episodes this part you won which i hope you're enjoying this beautiful audio so far so good so far i'm loving it having a great time we also are be so much better when we're not filming because i could like i'm not wearing underwear you know i'm wearing jamas that are three days old that are standing up on their own a nursing bra that is covered in just things that aren't milk you know ruby's foo like i just feel more myself jack and i decided to do an audio only and i'm telling you it's for the betterment of everyone and everything the thing about audio only is every time we do audio only it's just like better and funnier for whatever reason maybe we are different um and then we don't have the clips correct and And we wish we had the clips, but we would have the video.

1:48We wouldn't have the moment. We wouldn't have those moments. So what you're not getting today in a video, you are getting in a vlog on Friday. We kind of teased last week this major vlog we were filming. A major collaboration with a major artist. A major collaboration with a major artist. It's called QLab Shabbat. It's a collaboratory Shabbat between Jackie and Ben. They cooked us a beautiful feast. We took you through the entire process. I'm there more just as like a supportive friend. And a cinematographer. A cinematographer. I would say like a hilarious commentator. Yeah. Would you say? Yeah.

2:16Yeah. And so that'll be out today as well, maybe tomorrow. So you have lots to look forward to on this week's Patreon. And just, you know, we're back. We are back. We're back. And here's one thing I'm not going to be talking about on today's Patreon. My son's sleep habits. Because you know what? And people told me this. They were like, Turdy, don't say it. Don't go on here bragging. 3.30, 7.30. And I thought they were like, because it makes other moms feel bad. No, because you'll jinx it. Of course I jinxed it. Oh, my God. We've had the most horrible week's night's sleep. Like, I don't even want to talk about it.

2:44I'm not talking about it. Okay. So I just want to let everyone know, I'm talking about the fact that I'm not talking about it. Understood. We'll circle back with an update in August. Yeah, we'll see if that. Okay, cool. How's Ruby otherwise? Amazing. Just amazing. We've had such a fabulous week. Core memories for Ruby, but also for me. It's just been wonderful. And I just, that's it, you know? Just great. Great. Motherhood going well. Motherhood going well. I was talking about this on my Instagram. something you didn't expect with motherhood is like you know your life changes right and you're like you know your best days are probably behind you and and you're gonna have good days but they're not gonna be as good as they were like as the good old days of course and last week Ben and I just like randomly we went on a hike which I know sounds so crazy but we brought Ruby and it's like this beachfront hike it's not really a hike it's like a beach and then we just it was very casual very grab a slice honestly we went for a hike and then we just like went to this random sushi spot and everything you know when everything just like works out for you there was like one table left outside and had enough room for a stroller like we got a parking spot right out front I was like oh something's in the energy we had such a great day I'm like oh when I got in bed that night I was like I know we didn't do much but like it was a great day and then this weekend we went to the beach and we like it was just a beach you know it wasn't like a beach club and it wasn't like a yacht it was just a beach with a chair you know from Costco and we had the best day and it got me thinking I was like I think my my perception of what a good day is now is very different it's much more simple but I wasn't expecting like so quickly after becoming a mom to like have so many great days now obviously some days are hard you know like oh my god he wouldn't sleep but I think also the hard days make the great days even greater because it's like these two extremes totally it's such a roller coaster and and then within one day you'll experience both extremes highs and lows It could be the best of times and the hardest of times.

4:36And it's the same time. And it's the same time. Totally. Yeah. No, it's so true. And you do, everything's like more simple. You see the world like through a child's eyes. And so things that used to be like boring, like sitting at alfresco, it's like, oh, it's hot. But no, like you get to see the streets and Ruby sees people. No, it's really, it's kind of lowered the bar for me in terms of like activities and entertainment. No, and like the things that you appreciate, like. Hey guys, Turdy. here. I hope you're enjoying this episode. I know I enjoyed recording it. If you'd like to listen to the full episode, head over to Patreon, patreon.com slash the toast.

5:11You can click the link in the episode description of this episode. You will become a member for$7.99 and get access to five extra episodes a month, vlogs, podcast episodes. This month we're doing fast five episodes. And you'll also get access to our entire catalog of episodes that includes tons of iconic vlogs like the great chili cook-off, old podcast episodes, steamy lexicon, plus cameos from your favorite Swirlies, Ben Soffer celebrity, joins quite a bit, as does Satchel and, of course, Trout. So, come join us on Patreon. You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it. Love ya. Bye.