The Five F's: Monday, March 9th, 2026

10:52Claudia Oshry:she's like in the apartment with her friend Narci or whatever. That's Narciso Rodriguez. I figured. And they were like trying to like allude to stuff. And also the way they were engaging with each other, like, was just really annoying me.

11:04Jackie Oshry:I guess it was a really big deal that she, I don't think at the time that she got married, she had just left her job. But the fact that she didn't wear a Calvin Klein dress, which is like, she's so Calvin Klein, right? Yeah. He did introduce them. He also really believed in her and championed her. Like, it was kind of a huge slap in the face. But I guess, like, it's supposed to be admirable that she, like, worked with a lesser known designer. I don't know. Her, like, her friend. I have no idea.

11:26Claudia Oshry:Oh, my God. The scene where John, do you remember the scene where he, like, pulls up to their apartment? her apartment and she's like with an RC in her bedroom and they're like falling on top of each

11:34Jackie Oshry:other like yeah being weird no and also I don't know if this is true either but she does opt to make Carolyn Kennedy Caroline Kennedy her maid of honor instead of her own sister just because the Kennedys are so upset about their like small random wedding it's not a real Kennedy wedding and Caroline's like being mean because she feels excluded so she makes her sister-in-law her like if that's true we need to stop standing Carolyn Bessette like she's the one talk about not being a girl's girl. Like, that's fucking crazy. Well, it's probably not true. And Caroline Kennedy was so awful to her, like really awful.

12:06Jackie Oshry:And like, that's her maid of honor. And things go to shit, of course. And who steps in? The real sister. It's probably not true. Who knows with this show? Like, I can't. It's not good. Can't wait for next week, you know? But actually, it's like starting to like lose its luster. Do we have a lip gloss? Do I have a lip gloss? Of course I do.

12:23Claudia Oshry:I could use a little gloss.

12:25Jackie Oshry:Hang on, hang on.

12:25Claudia Oshry:Okay, I have options. I expect that it won't have clump, but. No, it will not have plump. First, I have like a Summer Fridays balm. Okay. Oh, wait. I would have taken that. But now I just want to see what you're offering. If you're looking for hydration, I have like a La Mer balm. I'm not looking to use my finger. I love this.

12:40Jackie Oshry:This is more of like a lipstick gloss. And then I have a, this is a Fenty Beauty. Wait, wait. I have one more that I think. Oh, wow.

12:46Claudia Oshry:What the Fenty Gloss? You've come to the right place. The Fenty Gloss? Yes. But I want to try that one. I could use a little more color, I feel. Yes, yes, yes.

12:53Jackie Oshry:This is a Fenty, like, lip, diamond balm or whatever it's called. The diamond of the season. Oh, and then if you want this, I also have. I love. Oh, you actually need to get that. Oh, excuse me. Put that on my side. Let me use a little. Let me use a little. I need it again. Shout out to my makeup artist, Carla, who was in my dream last night. Oh, my God. I just remembered. At my Mahatunem sister's wedding, she put on this lip that was so stunning. Mahatunem sister. And I just had to purchase it. Oh, it's my Mahatunem sister.

13:21Claudia Oshry:Mahatunem sister, Caroline Kennedy.

13:23Jackie Oshry:I would never. I just have.

13:25Claudia Oshry:Your Mahatun. You guys, 2026 card is coming out soon. Everyone's talking about it. I just want to say, everyone's like, the 2026 card is coming out. They've been saying that for two months. It's always been April. And how does that make sense? When did the 2026 card come out in January? I'm not mad because I got to enjoy the 2025 card. Yeah. And now I'm ready for 2026.

13:42Jackie Oshry:I feel like, you know how young kids these days are addicted to gambling on their phones? I'm addicted to playing Mahjong. And we don't play enough. Well, I do play a lot on my phone, but it's just to get by. We don't play enough. Yeah.

13:56Claudia Oshry:What's the cadence that you guys are all playing at? Like, I actually feel like we're playing a lot, probably. Twice a week. Too much. Twice a week. Yeah, on average. On a slow week. We didn't play this weekend at all. But how often are other people playing?

14:08Jackie Oshry:Well, I think that Mahjong in our community is like an older lady game. And these are people who are retired. I think they play every day. They go to like their local card room. Like the Swirlies.

14:17Claudia Oshry:Like everyone's playing Mahjong right now. Like young girls. Yeah. Moms. Everyone's playing. So like how often are you guys playing to the Swirlies? My friends in New York play like once or twice a week at night. Okay. Yeah. I can't play at night. Like my brain is mush.

14:28Jackie Oshry:I'm also uninterested. Like I have subsects to write. And if you want to know why Ben's subsect was written so well. Like I.

14:34Claudia Oshry:I have like muffins to make. I made muffins last night. Like late night. Oh my god I made egg bites. Oh look it up. Yeah.

14:39Jackie Oshry:I'm like so culinary. It's insane.

14:41Claudia Oshry:Did you see what I sent you about like bone marrow for babies? Yeah.

14:45Jackie Oshry:Like I am in the market for recipes. So like thanks for the real. I guess.

14:48Claudia Oshry:I'm going to do that one when my time comes. All right. So make me some. I'm not buying bones. Like buying bones, roasting them, harvesting the marrow, and then whipping it into like a custard like dish. Yeah, I'm going to stick with my like broccoli cheddar pancakes. But bone marrow apparently has like every brain density. So make it for me. It's off the charts. Make it for me. I'll make it for you and Kruble. Like that's insane. And Kruz. Kruz. You guys. Gray Oven.

15:15Jackie Oshry:Have I updated everyone that Ruby's new name is Dewey Finn?

15:19Claudia Oshry:No.

15:19Jackie Oshry:Yeah. Named after his father's hero. Dewey Finn from School of Rock. Jackie's. What? Rui? Well, that's how it happened.

15:27Claudia Oshry:Rui, Fui, Dewey Finn. Yeah. For me. That's how it happens. He's gray-oven and moving. Yeah. He's moving and gray-oven. Yeah. And so I call him gray. You know how like. Yes. People. Like literally Morgan Stewart. Like he's so aesthetic with like his cool girl name. He's not gray. He's gray-o. Yeah. You have to say it with the role of the gray. No, no. Gray-o. You have to add the U at the end. Yeah. And what are we calling Max? Oh, Maxie. I also call him Max.

15:57Jackie Oshry:Oh, God. I hate that. Oh, my. Maxie. I hate that. M-A-X-S-H. Maxie. No, he's Lou Who to me. Oh, that's funny. Sometimes he's Neester. Okay. Maxineester. I love that. I love that. And you know what? He is his auntie's nephew. Like, I am a Maxineester. Yeah. So he could be Neester. I love that. I really do.

16:23Claudia Oshry:Neister. Maxie.

16:24Jackie Oshry:I know. Let's wrap this show up so we can go back to our kids. I know.

16:27Claudia Oshry:We can't talk about our kids. Otherwise, what about namesake? Any famous Maxes we need to have on?

16:34Jackie Oshry:Oh, I forgot about our podcast namesake where we only interview people who share the same names as our children. Of course there are Maxes we need to interview. Maxwell Sheffield I would love to chat with.

16:43Claudia Oshry:We could also open up to the fictional. Yes, if you are an actor named Stephen but you named someone named Max, you are eligible. But you played someone named Max. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's a really good way to get more people on our show.

16:53Jackie Oshry:I guess we need to interview like Ariel Charnas' daughter.

16:56Claudia Oshry:Ruby. Ruby Lou. We do. Yeah. Ruby Fu and Ruby Lou. When she's of age. Yeah, of course. We also need to interview the people who voice Max and Ruby. I mean, that's like when the podcast ends. Because we've reached Mecca. Yeah. Max and Ruby. Ruby and Max. Da-da-da-dee-da-da-do.

17:20Jackie Oshry:I guess we could dive in. I actually do want to talk about Timothy.

17:23Claudia Oshry:We have so many stories, probably more than five. I'm just going to order them as I see fit, and we'll just, like, let it rip. How about that? How about, without further ado-da-doo-da-doo, it is time for the stories that I'm going to let rip.

17:36Jackie Oshry:Actually, if it's okay with you, without further ado-da-doo-da-doo, I'd much prefer, for the Fast Five stories, to just sort of let the chips fall where they may.

17:43Claudia Oshry:1 ,000%. I'm going to let the stories fall. Fall? Fall. Oops. Sometimes we're Long Island. It creeps in. for whatever they may.

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23:52Claudia Oshry:Our first story, Timothee Chalamet is facing backlash from the ballet and opera communities after a viral no one cares comment. So Timothy did his CNN variety town hall event with Matthew McConaughey. A while ago. A while ago.

24:07Jackie Oshry:Nobody watched it in full except for the clips where he talked about Kylie because his comment went relatively under the radar until one person pointed it out.

24:14Claudia Oshry:And he said that he didn't want theatrical movie going to end up like the ballet or opera where artists want to, quote, keep this thing alive even though, quote, no one cares about it anymore. So now all of the international ballet and opera.

24:26Jackie Oshry:The New York City ballet being like, buy tickets even though nobody cares. They're obsessed with being the victim.

24:30Claudia Oshry:The London Royal Ballet and Opera took to Instagram to share footage of its craft people and performers in response to him saying every night at the Royal Opera House, thousands of people gather for ballet and opera, for the music, for the storytelling, for the sheer magic of the live performance. If you'd like to reconsider, Timothy, our doors are open. But people are big mad about this.

24:51Jackie Oshry:OK, I just want to say, like, the reaction is sort of proving his point, because, like, if anybody said, like, nobody cares about the Hollywood theater. It's like no AMC theater would be, like, writing it up. like crafting an apology. So I know what he's saying. Obviously, he's not saying it in a way where he realizes like, he's not being careful with his words, but he's saying that like different art forms, you can't compare ballet to movie making. The most famous ballerina in the world makes a fraction of what like the worst actor in the world makes it, because it is about mass appeal. Ballet is more niche.

25:22Jackie Oshry:Not every person wants to go see ballet, but like, I have a hard time, you know, turning away somebody who doesn't want to watch a movie. Like it's just more appealing to the masses. I know what he's saying. He said it in a harsh kind of way. And like, I'm happy for the ballet people like having their moment now, but like, they're just also a little bit proving his point.

25:38Claudia Oshry:But they are having a moment. And I think ultimately they should be thanking Timothy because of course, like ballet and opera are not what they used to be. They used to be the mass form of entertainment until like movies. And now how can you compete with CGI? Yeah. But I do think for a society like we are all suffering because we don't consume arts like that.

25:55Jackie Oshry:It's much like the book that I read about real life showgirl Evelyn Nesbitt. Like people would go to her shows as like the heiress tour. Like it was the biggest, like what you are entertained by. It's like greatest showman. Exactly.

26:07Claudia Oshry:And he was saying, yeah, I understand. And not knocking the art itself. Like these people are incredibly talented. And it's honestly a shame that like we've moved away from those. It's true. Forms of art. And I hope that we can move back and maybe like having to have this conversation will encourage more people to support ballet.

26:25Jackie Oshry:I just want to say and all the people who are like big mad at Timothy like I know you don't go see opera. OK, so just stop.

26:30Claudia Oshry:And it's like a lot of the opera or ballet. They're they're very like philanthropic societies and a lot of them like rely on like charitable donations. Like I wonder, you know. Dollars and cents, like how much of it is like based on donations and like how much they actually earn.

26:47Jackie Oshry:It's probably mostly based on donations, because if it was based on just like ticket sales, they're not selling a lot of tickets. Now, I'm curious, this is sort of Timothy's first time in a bit of scandal. Do you think we'll get like a notes app statement? Do you think we'll get a video or like we'll get no addressing?

27:01Claudia Oshry:Based on the Timothy that I think I know, my limited information about him, like he doesn't care. Yeah. And I think he said what he said. And maybe if he could go back, he would have said it more gently. But the message, it was just a delivery, not the message. There was nothing wrong with what he said.

27:18Jackie Oshry:It was how he said it.

27:19Claudia Oshry:well I think for some people there was something wrong with what he said but I think he's just speaking facts but not as many people watch ballet now as they did 20 years ago I don't think he'll regret like speaking the facts but I think the way in which he said it if he could go back he would change it now is that something that you need to apologize for I don't really think so

27:35Jackie Oshry:I would imagine just having a three-way conference call with Christiana right now like that's she's kind of the expert maybe she's like getting her opinion or he has no idea and doesn't care like

27:43Claudia Oshry:how big this has become yeah I think it's also become like a silly little thing yeah it's not that serious. It's not that serious. I don't think he's going to lose jobs over this. No. And I don't think that he should apologize because that's just like lame like apology culture at its worst. No and save your apology for something you're actually sorry about. Right. So I don't know but I also don't maybe know how big it's become. I just see like the memes and jokes. Right. And the Texas with PK. Okay Kyle Richards.

28:09Jackie Oshry:And the Texas with PK. Yeah it's just memes and jokes.

28:12Claudia Oshry:And I think it's like a funny thing that's net net good for ballet. Fine art. For the arts, yeah. So I think that's good. And I support, I wish there was more ballet and opera to support, you know? I agree. It's a beautiful art form. You know I could have been a ballerina. But I genuinely, like, I don't know, like, I need to watch the larger conversation because, like, what were they talking about?

28:35Jackie Oshry:They covered a lot of different topics in that random CNN town hall.

28:39Claudia Oshry:If you want to know something, I was actually so influenced by that CNN town hall that, you know what I did this weekend? You watched Interstellar? Well, I started it. I think I watched 50 minutes before Max woke up. I watched it with Dana on Saturday night. We like wanted to watch a flick. That's hilarious. And she never saw it either. And Timothy has been raving at how this is the greatest movie ever made. And I'm endeavoring to watch it. Now I have like three more days on my rental. Oh, you got to act quick. I have to act with haste. Yeah. I'll try and watch a little bit every night, but I really want to watch it.

29:07Claudia Oshry:I've heard amazing things. A little bit every night. I don't believe that's how Timothy intended. I know, but like Timothy, I'm a new mama for the third time.

29:14Jackie Oshry:yeah just just watch it you gotta just sit out you can't do it i feel like you're not gonna like it as much as timothy wants you to like it but i actually think i paused at a good part because

29:23Claudia Oshry:they're like in space spoiler alert and it's gonna take two years to reach their destination not a spoiler i barely started the movie i just feel like you're spoiling a lot for me no i i paused right before like the two-year gap so now i'm like having this big gap so by the time i turn it back on it'll be more realistic that it's two years well why don't you just wait two years for like the full real life experience. That's probably what's going to wind up happening.

29:47Jackie Oshry:A thousand percent.

29:47Claudia Oshry:I'm going to lose my$3.99.

29:49Jackie Oshry:Oh, well, that's actually happened to me twice. I rented two movies since I've been here. Oh my God, I have to tell you, you know what? This turnt TV in the bedroom of the place we're staying has become kind of like the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Samsung TV Plus, which is like not a thing, they have the most turnt content. Do you know that Rachel Ray has a show? And the whole concept is the same thing. You know, she's a queen of 30-minute meals And that's why she was so successful, like mothers everywhere, just like whipping up meals, not afraid to use store bought, whatever. So she like reiterated that concept.

30:19Jackie Oshry:But it's clear she doesn't own the name 30 Minute Meals because it's Rachel Ray's Meals in Minutes. And they're all like 25 to 30 minutes. And it's literally like a vlog. She films it in her home kitchen. Her husband sits on a chair by the bars. Like it's just it is the weirdest format.

30:34Claudia Oshry:She's the craziest person. I kind of like that because on 30 Minute Meals, like there's commercials. I feel like things were prepped for her. like no nothing's prepped i like that it's like it's not fair to call it a 30 minute meal when the recipe calls for chopped onions chopped carrots and it's like no she's chopping it right there

30:51Jackie Oshry:factoring it into the time no no it's and she does not stop yapping it's probably a 10 minute meal she doesn't shut the fuck up she just like knows everything and it's like we don't care like tomatillo or tomato just like tell me which one to use you know she's so chatty and her husband they're like they're kind of boozy so like every he's there to make a cocktail for what she drank for what she cooks and they're just always like cocktailing it up she's so nutty i feel like she's drinking like before during and after like she's just so nutty and she literally like she burned the whole meal and so it's like very vlog style it's not tailored and it's just like she's what people want these days authentic yes no and you know how like every cooking show they block out like all the labels of whatever they're using which is kind of annoying she don't give a fuck Like there's labels on everything.

31:34Jackie Oshry:Her kitchen is a fucking mess. There's like mail in the background.

31:37Claudia Oshry:That's realistic. That's what people want to see.

31:39Jackie Oshry:It's a Samsung TV plus exclusive piece of content. It's the craziest thing. And they're just like slinging drinks, burning everything.

31:49Claudia Oshry:But you know, she's making a nice meal. My Samsung TV plus go-to show right now that comes on when I turn on my TV for the last like couple of weeks has been Dawson's Creek. Never seen it. Me neither. It's before our time. Yeah. Like Carolyn Bessette of shows. literally yeah like she was watching Dawson's Creek she definitely wasn't she was too busy like

32:08Jackie Oshry:chain smoking and ruining her sister's life I'm cracking um so he was that sister that scene really upset me Timothy's in about hot water we'll see how we navigate he kind of needed a little edge don't you feel like this makes him a little sexier like he was just too beloved yeah but like

32:24Claudia Oshry:this is so what such a non-scandal like you've offended like the highbrow art yeah yeah no but it's a good scandal like he needed something and then of course people are like making it like how are you going to put down live performance when it's the only job ai can't take people will

32:38Jackie Oshry:make anything about ai yeah and you just tell that to my ai generated cheddar broccoli egg bite recipe okay when you say ai's not helping anyone are you ready for our next story which is some other

32:50Claudia Oshry:major news that has become major over the weekend that i'm obsessed with me too so going viral Kelsey's going viral because TMZ put out an article. They just put it out in their like sort of standard TMZ aesthetic,

33:04Jackie Oshry:which is always they break the news. Someone died. Somebody gave birth. Somebody's getting divorced. Like there, you know, they have an office down at the courthouse, as Kelsey says. So like I was like, oh, my God. When I first saw just like the sheer headline, I'm like, Donna Kelsey died. Like they're so drama with their red and black alerts.

33:19Claudia Oshry:But no, Donna Kelsey is renovating her Florida home. So the news is that Tracen and Travis's mom, Tracen and Travis, Donna, is glowing up her Florida pad. She's in the middle of a home renovation, TMZ has learned, according to official records filed last month. So this is where they're getting in. Taylor's future mother-in-law appears to be redoing her two-bed, two-bath, 1 ,430-foot square foot pad in Florida. Where? Orlando. I wonder why she has a place in Orlando. Maybe she likes Diz. I could see her actually being a Diz adult 1000 and I feel like whenever I feel like Jason's like taking his daughters there a bunch especially when they win the Super Bowl and so maybe like Donna's like maybe that's where they stay yeah the documents show Donna hired a company to replace nine with six stores at the home

34:10Jackie Oshry:when celebrities are talking about like how they have no privacy like they do compared to Donna Kelsey like why why was this written up and then people's reactions to it is what made it an even bigger story like it might have just gone by the waist head but this is some crap you read about

34:23Claudia Oshry:in like life and style this is like mindless news and then people reacted to it like as they should just being like well how can i sleep at night knowing this right um and it's hysterical now it's like world news that donna kelsey is renovating her her condo i hope she sort of catches in on this big moment and maybe like gets a raymore and flanagan commercial or does like an

34:46Jackie Oshry:HGTV miniseries. One thousand percent.

34:49Claudia Oshry:Because now I need to see the condo. Like, show me the nine windows.

34:53Jackie Oshry:And you know what? That's my humble queen living in a two-bedroom condo.

34:56Claudia Oshry:Six doors?

34:57Jackie Oshry:And that's not renovating, just so you know, replacing windows and doors. I feel like in Florida with the hurricanes, you sort of have to every X amount of years. So it sounds like she's just doing some routine maintenance on her condo. And yet here we are discussing it as if it's world news.

35:10Claudia Oshry:It is. It really, really is. I hope she shows before and after. I would love that. Does Donna Kelsey even have an Instagram? I feel like she does.

35:18Jackie Oshry:I feel like it's like run by like a team.

35:20Claudia Oshry:I would love a transition reel.

35:22Jackie Oshry:I would love a transition reel.

35:24Claudia Oshry:Set to maybe a little to low us. Just an idea. Just give it to us. And you know she likes to give the people what they want. She's like such a pop culture girly.

35:33Jackie Oshry:And one thing about Donna, she's, and I think it's why people like her so much. She's very regular, you know? And like that's what regular folks do. They make transition reels.

35:41Claudia Oshry:So those were the big stories of the weekend. And Donna Kelsey renovating her condo or house. And I think condo. Yeah. I don't know why I think, but I think. And Timothy. Sort of hot water. Getting himself into trouble. Are you ready for our next bit of news, which is some crime in Los Angeles? First. I am. Rachel Zoe's home was hit by burglars this weekend. So Rachel Zoe was in Las Vegas for the opening of Zero Bond Las Vegas. And her home was burglarized early Sunday morning while she was out of home. Just really quickly. Town.

36:14Jackie Oshry:You know, Rachel Zoe was in Vegas for the Zero Bunch. Did you know what crew she was with? No. She was with the Naders and Pippa from Tell Me Lies. Like, that was the crew.

36:26Claudia Oshry:Oh, I saw the Naders with Pippa.

36:28Jackie Oshry:Yeah, and Rachel Zoe was a part of that crew, too. And I knew that Rachel Zoe and Brooke Stater were friends because I feel like they recently hung out. But I didn't, like, know that was happening. And I'm just kind of obsessed with that crew. Like, how does the three of them get together?

36:39Claudia Oshry:and they're saying Alex Earl and Tom Brady were there too I saw that at Seth's Halloween party yeah I saw that too I'm glad she's having fun

36:54Jackie Oshry:I feel like the fling has run its course

36:55Claudia Oshry:I'm personally like ignoring it now I'm not ignoring it until they like step out together like of course they go to the same parties they're on the same circuit every time they're seen together I don't believe it she's still crying over Braxton like I don't believe it I know he's definitely just like obsessed with her You think so? Yeah You know what I don't I mean I don't think so

37:16Jackie Oshry:I do I think he's like losing sleep Like thinking about this young hot thing

37:20Claudia Oshry:I think like Olivia said Like he's like mentoring her Oh my god You and Olivia like delusional queens Yeah he's mentoring her Just like the weekend and Angelina Jolie were meeting for business She didn't say that he's mentoring her Actually she said that she thought that they could relate to each other The best at what they do Also an amazing point

37:36Jackie Oshry:Olivia has never said anything infactual. Like, that's my queen right there.

37:40Claudia Oshry:Wait, so here's the story. Oh, sorry. Rachel Zoe's home was burglarized. TMZ has told her alarm company received an activation alert, and the alarm company quickly notified police. Patrol units in the neighborhood responded and spotted two male suspects leaving the property. TMZ has told one of those suspects is in custody.

37:56Jackie Oshry:Good. That never happens.

37:57Claudia Oshry:That never happens.

37:58Jackie Oshry:Don't you feel like her home wouldn't have been robbed if she wasn't a real housewife of Beverly Hills?

38:02Claudia Oshry:Oh.

38:02Jackie Oshry:It's literally a rite of passage. We've got Teddy. We've got Kyle. We've now got Rachel Zoe. I feel like we have Kathy Sutton. Both of their houses were burglarized over BravoCon this year. It's insane. It's really insane. And I feel like if you're, I don't know why they go for like, oh, Dorit, sorry, I forgot to mention her. I don't know why like they go for reality stars more than they go for like traditional celebrities. But maybe it's because reality stars are always telling people where they are.

38:27Claudia Oshry:On Instagram, yeah.

38:28Jackie Oshry:And unfortunately, I just feel like we're going to start seeing like reality stars who are like of, you know, means not being, you know, posting in real time anymore. If I was, I would never, like, never.

38:37Claudia Oshry:Yeah. It's so crazy. I'm glad that they caught someone. I know that also never happens. They never caught the guys who did Doritos, right? They never caught anyone who does anything. It's so true. Also. Did they get anything? I mean, talk about, like. Unclear what they got, if they got. Talk about stumbling upon, like, treasure. Yeah. Also, more crime in Beverly Hills News. Rihanna's mansion was hit by gunfire on Sunday, early Sunday morning while she was home. While she was home? Yeah, a 30-year-old woman was arrested early Sunday morning after, so like 1.20 a.m. No, actually. Hold on. After firing several shots with a rifle at Rihanna's mansion while the singer was allegedly inside her house, LAPD responded to the report of the shooting at 1.20 p.m.

39:23Claudia Oshry:Sunday and quickly took the suspect into custody. One bullet reportedly pierced a wall of the home. Photos from the scene showed yellow police tape outside the singer's home. LA authorities were also seen closing off the street near her property.

39:35Jackie Oshry:Oh my God. We're never getting that album now. I just want to let you know she's not giving the fans anything. Like this is the price of fame. Literally her home where her children live being shot at with guns. Oh my God. That's insane. I didn't even hear about this. I think. Those LAPD were going to overtime this weekend.

39:51Claudia Oshry:I mean I think every weekend. I think every weekend too. That's crazy. It was published last night. So that's why you probably didn't hear about it. That's like.

39:59Jackie Oshry:I feel like there are a couple of things that like if you're a celebrity you sort of expect to happen to you like stalkers robberies gunshot like that's insane I'm like she must be freaking yeah she's also such a private celebrity and I bet she has like a lot of different homes so like it's even freakier to know that like this person knew you were home

40:17Claudia Oshry:yeah because she's not somebody who like who's like posting on Instagram not only that she's not somebody who gets

40:22Jackie Oshry:paparazzi like all the time like we know when she's in New York because it's like a big deal but like nobody knows where

40:26Claudia Oshry:she is like most of the time yeah like with taylor i feel like people always know where she is that must be so scary yeah really really crazy the outlet also reported that the police dispatch for the incident noted approximately 10 shots being fired at the house which came from a vehicle across the street from the house like who would try to kill rihanna like seriously and sped off in a white tesla you said it was a woman yeah i'm glad they caught someone yeah again yeah oh my god

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45:26Claudia Oshry:Are you ready for our next story? The aforementioned Brooks Nader was spotted getting friendly with Kevin Costner in Las Vegas. It was a big weekend in Vegas at the aforementioned Zero Bond opening.

45:39Jackie Oshry:Zero Bond launch at the Wynn. And I just want to say, like, I know this is crushing to Luanne de Lisepse because it's sort of like the final nail in the coffin of what could have been Luanne Costner.

45:49Claudia Oshry:I don't think Luanne stays down long. Like, she put it out there, Kevin Costner. It didn't happen. On to the next.

45:55Jackie Oshry:Whenever I see him, I think about how, like, the perfect woman is out there for him. Like, I think about that a lot. I can't think of anything other than Luanne de Lisepse when I see Kevin Costner. Now, having said that, I'm obsessed with this. And I know everyone's like, you know, but she's 20. Like, I don't give a fuck. One thing about Brooke Snader is like, she's in charge. And I just know he was dazzled by her.

46:16Claudia Oshry:Brooke Snader knows her own mind. So true. So whatever she chooses to do. She's an eldest daughter. Like, you know, you can't tell her what to do. Yeah. She's over 25. She's divorced. Frontal lobe developed.

46:28Jackie Oshry:She knows her mind. I'm obsessed with this. Now, I don't think this is like the great love of her life. I doubt she really entertained it. because like when you can get any man in the world, like Kevin Costner actually doesn't do it.

46:39Claudia Oshry:I heard he's kind of an arse. Yeah, I've heard he's a dick. I feel like not even like we've heard it. Like everyone, he fights with everyone. It's like confirmed. Not on Yellowstone anymore. It's confirmed, yeah. Having said that, I could see him like being so obsessed with her. She like likes like an arse-y guy. It's true, Gleb. Yeah, she like famously said, I want to dance with the biggest douchebag on Dancing with the Stars. Having said that, I'm not, like I'm obsessed with this moment,

47:00Jackie Oshry:but I hope it ends here. I don't think that this is like the next big thing.

47:03Claudia Oshry:That's not really a word I use. What? The word I just said. D-bag? Yeah. I was quoting the great Brooks Nader. Of course. What is the actual item? Like a douchebag? Oh, please, please, no. It's a perennial device, right? Yeah.

47:17Jackie Oshry:But I never call anyone that word. Me neither. It's, I mean, we're not in a sorority. I feel like if you're like talking about like frat boys, you use that word. It's like a young person's word. Yeah.

47:28Claudia Oshry:Not even, no, I feel like it's just, you know, you either use it or you don't.

47:31Jackie Oshry:Okay, what's the equivalent? Like, what do we say? Like, he's such an ass?

47:35Claudia Oshry:I think I just said arse.

47:36Jackie Oshry:I say, like, he's such a dick.

47:38Claudia Oshry:I guess. I don't really say that either.

47:41Jackie Oshry:You don't really say much, like, in terms of profanity.

47:46Claudia Oshry:In terms of, like, he's not a good guy. Okay.

47:51Jackie Oshry:He's a bad guy. I like that. He's a bad guy. Do-do, do-do-do-do. So just want to say, loving this moment, hoping it ends here.

48:04Claudia Oshry:Yeah. And they were just like spotted sitting next to each other talking. But when two single people are doing that, like, of course, you wonder what's brewing.

48:11Jackie Oshry:I just love Brooks. Like, I am obsessed with like the fame of Brooksnator, you know? Like, she's just doing it right. She's having fun. I think she's making a lot of money.

48:21Claudia Oshry:Yeah. So we'll see what happens betwixt the two. Two lovers. our next story Alex Earl was also in Vegas but this isn't about her John to Vegas she's teasing some tough conversations with her stepmom in her new reality show so Alex Earl did a vlog talking about everything you know in her life but also what fans can expect from her reality show that's coming she touched on what it's been like to lose control of the editing process with the show admitting she's feeling nervous about how she and her relationships will be portrayed she said the parts where I'm like saying nice things or like retracting what I'm saying, I'm like, that's definitely probably not getting in the edit.

48:57Claudia Oshry:Right. So I think it's just scary how things can be edited and portrayed. That's at least what I've heard from a lot of people. Yeah. Specifically called out the way that the reality shows filming was impacting her family's relationships with each other. This is really interesting. She said, quote, when there's an issue, you have to go up and talk to them and figure out the issue on the show. Sometimes we'll just sweep things under the rug and we're like, let's not disturb the peace of the family. That's not a good TV show. It's kind of like now we're in family therapy. You've really got to talk through all of the issues and like have conversations face to face with people.

49:24Claudia Oshry:she mentioned that her and her stepmother, Ashley Dupree had been having a lot of conversations as a result of the filming as well.

49:31Jackie Oshry:Yeah. I mean, I think that I don't think, of course, when you think about her stepmother, you think about like how she came to be her stepmother and the drama beyond it. But it doesn't sound like that's actually with the conversations that they're having. I think that like, remember when we were reporting on dancing with the stars, like Ashley's just kind of like nutty. And like when she was posting that stuff, like kind of making Alex look bad, like coming for Carrie and like, just like putting sort of Alex's job in jeopardy and putting Alex in like a weird situation. I think it's more situations like that where like they're all becoming famous now.

49:57Jackie Oshry:And Ashley is like a content creator. She has a lot of followers. She does like a lot of mom content. She does like a lot of conspiracy theories. She's like into UFOs or whatever. Yeah, but she has a lot of followers. And so like with that, it's like, you have to be careful with what you say because like, yeah, you're a content creator, but you're Alex Earl's stepmom first. And I bet that like gets weird for Alex. You think that's going to be the bane of their issues on the show? Yeah, unless they're sitting down talking about the affair, but that was so long ago and it seems like they all like actually genuinely moved on.

50:25Jackie Oshry:I'm the only one still talking about it. So no, I don't think they're having those types of conversations.

50:29Claudia Oshry:She said me and my stepmom have been having a lot of conversations about our relationship and it's been good. It's been scary. There's also like been drama with that. I can't imagine how it all comes together.

50:37Jackie Oshry:No, I imagine like if I'm Alex and like her stepmom is riding her coattails like probably as much as like Ashton is. Like Ashton is kind of more popular but – and she's also like posting crazy things about just like the world. and also Alex's life and it's like like she you know what I bet is a storyline she was doing like an outfit with her husband or whatever and she was saying that like I forget what it is but Alex's dad was wearing this blazer and she was like I saw Tom Brady wearing it and I bought it for him like things like that

51:14Claudia Oshry:Alex was probably mad at that and she's right well if they're filming like right this minute I wonder if they'll address the Tom Brady stuff to say like that they're not together. Yeah. Also,

51:30Jackie Oshry:when she talks about like losing the edit, whatever, I know that her, she announced the show on Netflix. It's in partnership with like a production company, Dave Gruntman, her friend. Like, I don't feel like she's completely cut out of the editing process. She's not like totally like hands off.

51:45Claudia Oshry:Yes, but like at a certain point, they're going to have to make a show. Yeah. and things might wind up in there that she would otherwise not have preferred but like it's going to be good television i'm sat for the show i am as well and i think she's doing a good job of like making content about the show while filming a show and teasing the show because remember we said like she could run a little like you know spread herself a little thin like having to do all this content and a reality show but i feel like this is a great example of like a good

52:12Jackie Oshry:way to do it yeah but it does feel like a lot and i haven't seen a lot of her tiktoks recently like Like with, I feel like she's just doing a lot. Now, I forgot. Thank you for bringing up TikTok. Do you know that there's like a new, there's a new face?

52:25Claudia Oshry:On TikTok?

52:26Jackie Oshry:Yeah. Like if you like want to be young and cool, like there's, you know how like when we grew up, it was like the smize.

52:31Claudia Oshry:Okay.

52:31Jackie Oshry:There's like a new pose. Okay. It's called the pout. And it's not like the pout that we know. Ready? It's actually like, I have a hard time doing it. It's not like Mary-Kane Nashley. It's like, it's an iteration of that, but it's like Gen Z, Mary-Kane Nashley. Okay. Ready?

52:41Claudia Oshry:Do you want to show me a video of it? I'm sorry. What? Show me a video.

52:46Jackie Oshry:I don't have a video. It's just like.

52:48Claudia Oshry:Who does it? Everyone. Where should I see it? Ashton Earl? Like all the cool girls. Ashton Earl does it? Let me go look at her. I feel like I'm doing it. Does Sally do it? I don't know. Happy belated birthday, Sally.

53:02Jackie Oshry:Like this.

53:03Claudia Oshry:Ashton Earl. Okay. Maybe it's like not what. You have to try it. This. That Ashton's doing. Like, no. She's just like deadpan. She's not doing anything there. This. Well, she's not doing anything.

53:16Jackie Oshry:Give me the phone. Hold on. Let me, I'll find one. And then you can recreate it. I'm talking about this. This? She's, no, no, no. Like. Okay. Like this? No, but like more relaxed. Okay, here, here, here. You see? It's like a mug. And it's really like upper lip heavy.

53:35Claudia Oshry:And also you got to clench your cheeks a little bit because you.

53:39Jackie Oshry:Kind of. Kind of. It's like you're like doing a little too much. It's like supposed to be a little bit more effortless. effortless.

53:44Claudia Oshry:I'm just learning.

53:45Jackie Oshry:Yeah, no, no, no. I'm just giving tips.

53:48Claudia Oshry:What's here?

53:50Jackie Oshry:It's very top lip heavy. And it's kind of like you smelled something, you know?

53:55Claudia Oshry:Okay.

53:56Jackie Oshry:I feel like I'm doing it.

53:58Claudia Oshry:No. I have to see. I have to see what it looks like in order to tell you if you're doing it. And Ashton doing it with sunglasses on. Does Hailey Bieber do it? I don't know. It's a little bit more TikTok, You know, it's like younger than that. Yeah. Well, can't go too young. No, of course. Of course. That wouldn't be very fulfilling of us. No, it wouldn't. Our fifth or sixth and final story. Whatever it may be. Dave Portnoy is writing a memoir and the title is here. And it's great. Pretty fantastic. So Dave Portnoy posted on his Instagram actually in response to Sophia Franklin. but he also shared that he is writing a book and it's called cancel me if you can it's available for pre-order it's coming out in June and I think like he's going to tell his I'm assuming it's his story like his memoirs um I feel like he probably like touched on daddy wherein he would touch on that a little bit but and I and Sophia's obviously touching on it in hers and talking about Dave and he's kind of using like the momentum of Sophia's book to promote his own which is interesting

55:02Jackie Oshry:it is and also his books coming out first yeah in terms of a title it was like time to tell everyone i know in terms of a title 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 um i think it's probably like more zoomed out like you know how he started barstool like we think of him now like as modern but there's so much lore like um i don't know i feel like the the fact that he's sort of using the sophia franklin like i don't know i don't know um i did i saw that he like

55:31Claudia Oshry:posted her clip where she was asking me about him but i couldn't watch with sound and there

55:34Jackie Oshry:were no subtitles but she had said she was doing like a listener q a people writing in questions about her book being like you're going to talk about dave porno and she's like yeah okay and he's going to talk about her and i don't even know if he's really going to talk about her like it's not really his story to tell do you know what i mean i feel like he'd talk more about alex yeah he could probably mention the caller daddy thing but like i don't know i don't need

55:54Claudia Oshry:to hear his side i and i also feel like one we've heard his side yeah remember like he took over their podcast when they start releasing episodes. And that's like also what blew it up. So again, I feel like Sophia's the side that we haven't heard entirely yet because she says there's like way more. But I look forward to reading both sides. I'll read both of these books.

56:12Jackie Oshry:Actually, when I went to Barnes and Noble this weekend, I did look in the celebrity memoir section. I was looking for Lisa Rinna's. Maybe it's not out yet because I didn't see it.

56:18Claudia Oshry:There's no way. I know. It's not weird. No, I'm sorry. It's out. Like you don't do this much press for something that hasn't come out yet. Let's see. What's hers? These lips were made for talking.

56:27Jackie Oshry:It was not in the memoir section. I'm just letting you know. It's out. It's called You Better Believe I'm Gonna Talk About It, which is a great title. These Lips Were Made For...

56:34Claudia Oshry:It's out. Yeah. I couldn't find it. Actually, that's kind of a good title, too. These Lips Were Made For Talking. She has so many one-liners. Like... Yeah. You Better Believe I'm Gonna Talk About It. That's kind of like a chewy one.

56:45Jackie Oshry:Yeah. It's a little long. I would rate it. I wouldn't... I would rate it pretty well. Like, for some reason, like, celebrities, like, lose their mind when they name their memoirs. And they go so rogue and stupid. But at least she's like referencing like one of her iconic lines. Maybe it's not the line I would have referred to. But like it's better than hope luck catches Ina. What was that book called? Also Dorit's, which is unburdened by what has been. Terrible. That's Kamala's book. Yeah. What is Ina's title? Like be ready when the luck happens. Like that's what I mean. Celebrities lose their fucking minds.

57:17Claudia Oshry:I know. That's why I love it so much. They never go for the obvious thing. No, but it's hard to see yourself. Like even if like if I had to sit down and like choose a name for my memoirs right now, I would have a hard time. But the audience could tell me in two seconds what my memoirs should be. Why should Jackie's memoir be named? Let me think. Hold on. Memoirs of a Jax. Well, now it is. But I mean, outside of like our running joke. If I ever wrote a book of memoirs, which like wouldn't happen. But like I would say. Memoirs of a Streisand. No, it would be Memoirs of a Jax because of the lore.

57:43Claudia Oshry:Not just because I think that's a great memoir name. But because. It's actually not a good memoir name. Memoirs of a Jax?

57:48Jackie Oshry:No because memoirs of a geisha like you need two syllables. Jackie? Memoirs of a charity. But you didn't. No and when I was titling my book at the last minute somebody was like but just like girl with no job. I'm like oh yeah. No and like from a publisher's perspective like it makes sense. It has recognition. Yeah no I have no regrets about the title of my book. Like I couldn't get creative with the title but then the subtext I could have. The Beautiful Life of a Crazy Instagram Thirst Monster. The Crazy Beautiful Life. Whatever.

58:15Claudia Oshry:Not of an Instagram Thirst Monster. Not a crazy Instagram Thirst Monster. And I should have just taken out Instagram because I thirst on all platforms. Yeah. Yeah. It's a sign of the times. It's a time capsule. Yeah.

58:25Jackie Oshry:I love that as it should be. So what should Jackie's title be?

58:28Claudia Oshry:Like toast, swirl. I feel like there's so many things. Do you see that Rihanna's lingerie company Savage has an item called the swirly girly

58:44Jackie Oshry:bra or whatever? Yeah. Our influence. For sure.

58:48Claudia Oshry:I just feel like because it's so out there, like girly, swirly. Swirly? Not girly. Like if it had been the girly twirly, I would have said.

58:54Jackie Oshry:Girly, swirly. Yeah. But they just flipped it. Swirly, girly.

58:57Claudia Oshry:But even if they had the swirly bra, like we would say, oh, the bra has swirls or whatever. It's girly and girly together. Correct. That's the magic of swirly and girly. I thought that was interesting. Yeah. I mean, we're just sort of ubiquitous. It is what it is. Shaping culture. Yeah. Happy to do it. Love to do it. What's the story? Oh, memoir. Memoirs of a Dave Portnoy. Cancel Me If You Can is a great, great title. It's really fantastic. Memoirs of a Barstool. That would have been good. No, it wouldn't. I like that. It would have been good for just the two of us. Yeah. Yeah, but I guess then we could go and tell everyone about it.

59:31Claudia Oshry:But no, Cancel Me If You Can. Like, seriously. No notes. Give them a raise. I enjoyed those eight stories. I did as well. Lots to catch up on on this Monday. I'm still sort of recovering from the news that Donna Kelsey is renovating her home.

59:44Jackie Oshry:So sorry if I felt like a little low energy for the second half of the show. It was a lot to take in.

59:49Claudia Oshry:I do beg and plead that someone make the most of this moment. Like cameras up. I need a contracting. Like Tyler Cameron. Get in there. That's what I was thinking. Get in there. Somebody. Tyler Cameron's very busy renovating the Bachelor Mansion with host Tayshia Adams. And Hannah Brown. Really? Yeah. I think it's the three of them. And I've, first of all, Hannah Brown is a new toaster. Yeah, I saw that. welcome second of all she's been posting she moved into a new home and she's been posting like a tour while also sharing what she's going to do to every room of home and it's it's captivating stuff well maybe she is on that show then oh yeah she's renovating her home but she also has like an exit her home right now is really pretty and she's like showing us what she's doing i thoroughly enjoyed the content i look forward to seeing some transition rails um that's wonderful

1:00:37Jackie Oshry:so welcome hannah brown yeah i don't find myself like talking a lot about hannah brown on this show That's good. Yeah, of course. But like when somebody whose name comes up a lot on the show and then I find out that they listen every day, like that just happened with somebody actually extremely famous. I won't blow up their spot. But we talk about her like maybe once every two weeks. And then I found out that she watches every day. And like I kind of need her to stop. Like it's just a hard line to walk. It is.

1:01:00Claudia Oshry:It reminds me, of course, of Bobby and Asifa from Shows of Sunset. It reminds me, of course, of Philip Phillips. Pug Casso. Pug Casso.

1:01:07Jackie Oshry:We're going to find out like any day now. We have been offered an interview with Pug Caso. The Masked Singer team reached out. We were like, okay, but before we agreed to an interview, we need to know who it is. They're like, we can't tell you. I'm like, well, what if it's a baseball player? No, not even that.

1:01:19Claudia Oshry:What if it's somebody who hates us?

1:01:21Jackie Oshry:What if it's somebody more likely who we hate?

1:01:24Claudia Oshry:I don't know. I respect how serious they take the show, but I can't commit. And the fact that they wouldn't even tell us. First of all, we're not going to tell anyone. You're a part of the show. We're not going to tell anyone. Just tell us who it is. I know. Just fucking tell us who it is. They're being kind of narky. We're literally losing our minds. And you can't even just tell us. Like, come on. They want us to commit. Like, we're kind of a big show. We can't commit to just anyone. What if it's, like, a not famous person? And aside from the interview, just, like, put these girls out of their misery.

1:01:51Claudia Oshry:Misery. Like, seriously.

1:01:52Jackie Oshry:They shoot horses, don't they? Tell us who it is. I didn't even read that book. I just, like, know the title. And I remember being, like, really shook by it. It's a great title.

1:02:03Jackie Oshry:That is our show. Happy Monday. Hope we've sprung you forward in a meaningful and fulfilling way. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast-sized stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available on this podcast and our podcast. We found so at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, I-Rodcast, and we're going to be able to listen to the podcast. We are. Have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow.

1:02:26Jackie Oshry:Love ya. Bye.

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