Toast Herstory: Chopping the Tarts (Original Airdate Wednesday, May 4th, 2022)

14 Aug 2025 · 56 min

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Podcast Notes: The Toast - Toast Herstory: Chopping the Tarts

Episode Airdate: May 4, 2022 Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry

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Episode Overview In this episode of The Toast, Jackie and Claudia discuss current events, pop culture stories, and the latest happenings in the world of reality television. The episode features lively banter, personal anecdotes, and a humorous take on serious topics. The main themes include celebrity culture, the implications of personal choices, and the dynamics of reality TV.

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Key Topics Discussed

Current Events

  1. Dave Chappelle Attack
  2. Incident: Chappelle was attacked on stage at the Hollywood Bowl by an audience member with a weapon.
  3. Security Concerns: Discussion on the failure of security measures at the venue and the implications of such attacks on comedian safety.
  4. Cultural Reactions: Reflection on how this incident mirrors societal issues concerning violence against public figures.
  1. Lili Reinhart vs. Kim Kardashian
  2. Diet Criticism: Lili Reinhart's backlash against Kim Kardashian for discussing her extreme dieting to fit into a dress for the Met Gala.
  3. Debate on Body Image: Discussion around the responsibility of celebrities in shaping body image perceptions among young fans.
  1. Post Malone's Personal News
  2. Fatherhood Announcement: Post Malone reveals he is expecting his first child, sparking admiration among fans.
  1. Intruder at Windsor Castle
  2. Security Breach: A man disguised as a priest gained access to Windsor Castle, raising questions about royal security.
  1. Wholesome Sports Moment
  2. Aaron Judge's Home Run: A touching story about a rival fan giving a baseball to a young Aaron Judge fan after catching a home run.

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Reality TV Recap Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion (RHONJ)

  • Recap Highlights:
  • Jackie Goldschneider reportedly demoted to "friend of," generating outrage among fans for her compelling story arc.
  • Tension between cast members, especially regarding Teresa's relationships and her engagement party.
  • Insights into familial dynamics and the challenges of loyalty within the cast.

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Dear Toasters Segment

  1. Mother-in-Law's Behavior
  2. A toaster seeks advice on how to address her mother-in-law's habit of kissing her baby on the mouth, addressing health concerns and boundaries within family relationships.
  1. Brother's Relationship
  2. Concerns over a brother's new girlfriend and explicit content shared online, raising questions about privacy and sibling protectiveness.
  1. Booger Flicking Issue
  2. Update from a toaster regarding her boyfriend's habit of leaving boogers around the house, which she has managed to address effectively with a solution of placing tissue boxes around.

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Key Takeaways

  • Celebrity Accountability: The hosts emphasize the importance of accountability among public figures in the context of body image and personal choices that can affect a wide audience.
  • Comedy and Safety: The conversation around Chappelle’s attack highlights the vulnerability of comedians in the current climate, signaling a need for better security and respect for performers.
  • Family Dynamics: The discussions on familial relationships reinforce the complexities of navigating personal boundaries and expectations within family structures.

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Closing Thoughts Jackie and Claudia wrap up the episode with a humorous yet heartfelt reflection on their experiences and the importance of community support. They express excitement for future shows and the growth of their audience engagement through "Dear Toasters."

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For more insights and the full episode, listeners are encouraged to check out The Toast's platforms for updates and merchandise.

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Transcript

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0:00Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Wednesday. It is hump day. So don't forget to hump someone you love. Speaking of someone I love, I'm joined for the third consecutive day in a row, which is so sickening given the fact she just gave birth. It's Jackie O, Morning Toast, Original Recipe. Original Recipe, hey guys, happy to be here. It's really catching up with me, like it's a little too much too soon. Oh, really? But I'm happy to do it. This is such a big week, so I'm running on adrenaline, running on steamy vibes, running on N-Log. You're running on steamy vibes.

0:32I am feeling quite steamy because it's always warm in here. It is always warm in here. We've got to fix that. And we're always wearing sweatshirts and leggings and Air Force Ones and twinning. We're literally wearing the same outfit. Like a couple of clowns. Again. This is like embarrassing. I know. What's with us? I guess it's the Air Force Ones. I know because like they're just such great shoes. Like you have to wear it with a crew neck. Yeah. And we're just always wearing crew necks. And I just have decided like until I'm where I want to be in life, physically, mentally, and emotionally, it's just going to be a sweatshirt for me.

1:00I don't care what month it is. Like I tried the first time I came into the studio to like put together an outfit because I was like, you know, so excited. And I looked horrific. And so now I'll just be covering everything until I'm ready to show you guys more. You're like literally going to do a full reveal in like six months. Six months. Yeah. Well, we've got a great show for you guys today. It's Wednesday. And we've got Dear Toasters. We also have an update from someone who wrote in about something particularly vile. So that'll be exciting. Jackie did not watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion part one because she has a child and priorities.

1:36I couldn't swing it, you guys. It was like hanging over my head all night. I woke up in the middle of the night to pump and I was like, I could watch it now, but then I didn't want to wake my mind up because I needed to go back to sleep. No, it's not worth it. It was only part one. It was part three maybe. Perhaps, but I was really excited to watch it. And I just didn't want to rush it. Like, I want to watch it when I want to watch it. It was really good and I have a lot of thoughts. I feel like it really, and what my main takeaway is, we haven't even spoken about this, how it's been widely reported.

2:00I think it's like pretty much true that Jackie Goldschneider was demoted to friend of. I just, yes, but how can they make that call before the reunion? And why make that call before the reunion? Like see how things play out. I feel like it's such a mistake. And after watching the reunion last night, I'm even more like cemented in my belief that it's the biggest mistake of all time. Especially because if they don't want the show to continue to be like everyone just tiptoeing around Teresa, they've like now changed the landscape and the dynamics so much. It's such a mistake. It's so wrong. I'm like, I'm actually really furious about it.

2:30And I never thought I would feel that way because I was a Jackie Goldschneider, like hater up until recently. Yeah. And I might be caught from a different cloth, but it's top quality fabric. Which is always good to know. Don't forget that. Don't forget that. So we are excited to be here. We're coming off our Met Gala Extravaganza, which was very fun and exciting. I know we didn't get to all the looks. Like there were still hundreds left. But I feel like we did what needed to be done. We did the bulk of it. I don't recall. maybe there was like one or two after where I was like shit we didn't mention them but there's so many people so many and we did what we had to do and that's what we're gonna do here today at the morning toast this is our final episode of the week because for anyone who doesn't know tomorrow's like a really big day um I'm performing at Madison Square Garden tickets available at girlwithnojob.com slash tour it's gonna be fabulous and oh I'm also doing a show tonight oh my god I keep forgetting about that um a little warm-up show Chelsea Music Hall it's gonna be good it's gonna be good that's gonna be fun like an intimate night with girl with no job you know it's a fireside chat oh look at you teddy roosevelt elizabeth holmes fdr yeah is that what she i don't know fireside chats always remind me of like tech companies that like spend money on these like you know team outings and it's like let's go to a cabin and do a fireside chat they were always doing fireside chats in younger yeah but you know it's fdr who started that no i didn't know little fun fact with the advent of the radio he would do a fireside chat and talk to the nation Wow, you really learn so much when your co-host is a historical friction freak.

3:59Freak. Is that nice? Is that nice? Got out of bed three days in a row for this bitch. It's not nice. It's not nice. So what else? What's going on with you? Not much. We recorded the Redheads yesterday. Always a great time with the girls. They're so funny. The Redheads is just like a hysterical podcast. We should be in the comedy section, except we like being in arts, so we are higher in the top. Always in the top. Yeah. Yeah. Comedy is a really competitive category. It is. Like those office ladies, fuck them. Like they're always. If you have a podcast, find the most obscure category that you can put it in so that you have a chance at hitting number one.

4:31And that's also, I'm so glad you brought that up because when you see influencers, sorry, this is like so shady and mean of me. But like when you see influencers be like, yes, like we're chopping, chopping the tarts. Topping the charts, new episode. They're like tricking you into thinking that their podcast is popular when it's not. They're just in like a random obscure. I know that's really neat to say because our podcast is so big and I should really be more humble. But I won't. They're just tricking you into thinking that their podcast is big when it's actually not. It's easy to be the biggest fish in a puddle.

5:00Wow. Shade. Coming out swinging. I said what I said. I will say if your podcast is number one in any category, it's not teen tiny. But it's not number one in comedy. It's not Joe Rogan. Call her daddy. It's not Conan. You're not Joe Rogan. That's for sure. in. Redheads used to be in society and culture, but it was just like a little too depressing. So then we moved over to arts. Oh, that's better. And now, yeah, society and culture is like probably fourth or fifth most competitive. So what do you think it goes by? I think it goes. I'll tell you because Apple sorts it. That's my theory. They have the.

5:33I think it's news and then comedy. It's news and then comedy and then perhaps sports. But the way you can, the pull down is not alphabetical or anything which leads me to believe that it is based on chronological like that feature isn't even there right now hold on hold on yes it is I looked at it yesterday I'm always checking the charts on the top right where you swore by it wasn't coming up oh you know what and I got a new phone so maybe man my pot and okay all categories here we go first news second comedy third society and culture wow moving on up I feel like because everybody puts their podcast in society and culture because it's a very big umbrella right fourth business biz news fifth true crime that's interesting we're literally sixth in comedy right now six sports so we're six in number two that's pretty good we're six in number two and then health and fitness religion and spirituality arts education maybe we should move to education seems less competitive no history i gotta start a history podcast i'll be number one every week tv and film that's actually that's surprising that it's so low yeah a lot of people throw theirs in tv and film we do tv recaps we could be number one in tv and film let's move on I'm so sick of Conan and the office ladies.

6:43Totally. And Heather McDonald. She's always in front of us. Science. We could do a show about Elon Musk. Number one every week. Technology. Music. Kids and family. Leisure. That's a nice. That's a good. I mean I feel very at peace when listening to the morning toast. I do think we would qualify for leisure. That's really interesting. Then fiction and then government. Woof. Woof. Yeah. No one's listening to government podcasts. I'm shocked. um speaking of government we have an amazing show today um anything else you want to catch up on before we dive right in no oh one thing that I actually wanted to catch up on that's not a story but I feel like I would be remiss devastated and heartbroken if I didn't mention it was Jessica Simpson's Instagram stories yesterday yes she had a birthday party for her daughter and you know we heard rumors that her and North were friends with her daughter but we didn't really have proof now we have proof they had like kids are obsessed with these squish mellows do you know them no They're like these stuffed animals.

7:38I'm sure I'll get to know them soon. Squishmallows. They're like collectible stuffed animals or whatever. So I think her daughter had, I don't know if it was her birthday, but North bought her a present. So it looked like it might have been her birthday. They had like this movie night Squishmallow birthday party. And not only was North there and she brought her a gift that was a pair of sneakers and Jessica was posting pictures of them. Penelope was there too. I saw the picture. So cute. I think the kid just had a birthday party because that's how we learned that they were friends and that Kim wasn't at the party.

8:04so maybe this was just like a movie night in the backyard in a pickup truck because like that's what celebrity kids do it was so cute sounds like an ideal night for me like an adult yeah laying in the back of a truck watching a movie on a calabasas cliff you're living the wrong life sister 100 like the fact that i wasn't born jessica simpson or nicole nicole oh my god the fact that i wasn't born jessica simpson's daughter like is my cross to air yeah there was There was a mistake in the hospital. There was a glitch in the matrix. There was a glitch. I'm done. Like, I'm really fucking done. I can't even talk today.

8:38You are chopping the tarts, though. I'm chopping the tarts, and the tarts are chopping me. A hundred percent. But I need to get, like, my brain and my mouth more connected, because I have a show tonight. Like, I need to start focusing on the words in which I speak. But that's good. Make the mistakes now. I think we're done. I think we should get right in, because we have some great stories to chat about. We have Dear Toasters and we have, Claudia's going to talk a little New Jersey. So without further ado, do-do-do, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

9:12Today's episode of Toast Herstory is brought to you by Jovial Foods. It's no secret that the better you eat, the better you're going to feel. And that's why we always turn to Jovial when stocking our pantry. As an Italian family-owned business, Jovial is committed to bringing organic, authentic Italian food here to the U.S. from their super famous gluten-free pastas and mac and cheese to fresh Italian tomatoes, olive oil, and so much more. If you haven't tried Jovial yet, where have you been? I have to say, shout out to Jackie. She put me onto Jovial. One time she made me pasta and I thought it was going to be like gross, healthy pasta.

9:42And I was like, sorry, ma 'am, I'm not needing this. Jackie said, it's Jovial. Give it a chance. Let me tell you, all the pasta in my house is from Jovial. I love their products. A majority of their products are grown and manufactured in Italy. The ingredients are simple, organic, clean. They also avoid plastics whenever possible. They even have a compostable window on all of their pasta boxes. Also, select Jovial products are regenerative organic certified, helping to regenerate soil health and the whole farm ecosystem. So it's even a step above organic. And if you've ever traveled abroad and just felt like the food made you feel better, Jovial is a great thing to bring into your house to replicate that feeling.

10:14Head over to jovialfoods.com. Use our code TOAST20 at checkout. You'll get 20 % off your entire order. That's J-O-V-I-A-L-F-O-O-D-S.com. Our code is Toast20, T-O-A-S-T-2-0. You will get 20 % off your entire order. Again, their website is jovialfoods.com. Our code is Toast20. Use it at checkout. You'll get 20 % off your entire order. Highly recommend when it comes to just feeling good but also eating good. Jovial Foods is the website to hit up. Okay, first story, big crazy news of the day. Dave Chappelle was attacked on stage at Hollywood Bowl by an audience member armed with a weapon. So last night at the Hollywood Bowl, they were filming Netflix is a joke.

10:55and Dave Chappelle was doing his set. Towards the end of the set around 1045, shocking footage shows Chappelle standing on stage as an audience member, charged and slammed him to the floor. Seconds later, the attacker was tackled by security and then he was beat up thoroughly by a bunch of the people backstage. The man who lives in Los Angeles was arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon. he was armed with a knife and carrying a replica handgun with a blade inside. He was taken to the hospital before he was booked early Wednesday into jail on$30 ,000 bail. I have so many thoughts. My first thought is like, I really feel bad for Dave Chappelle.

11:35There's nothing scarier than being tackled, especially like when you're just like such a target, just standing there under a bright light and everyone else is sitting in darkness. I also feel bad for Will Smith because in one way or the other, this is his fault and everyone's going to figure, everyone's like saying that already. so I know that wasn't his intention when he slapped Chris Smith Chris Smith I'm not okay when he slapped Chris Rock I know that wasn't his intention but via the butterfly effect here we are and I'd also like to say I don't understand how this happened because the Hollywood Bowl is like a really legit venue and you're telling me through all the security we all have to put up with that a man with a replica gun got in the knife but the knife was inside the gun so like you're telling me like when he walked through that metal detector or like it nothing went off like the knife is made of metal if the replica was not made of metal then maybe it wouldn't have set it off but like why are we searching or going through my tampons I can't bring an Advil into a club right but a replica gun and a knife okay this is like a huge oversight on the behalf of the Hollywood Bowl like security team you can't even like have your phone at a comedy show I know and I hate to blame anyone other than the person who stormed the stage but a lot of a series of events had to occur in order for this man to get into the venue with his items and be seated close to Dave Chappelle.

12:52And so while it is this man's fault 100%, I'm just so curious how something like this happens in this day and age. Like, okay, you can't stop someone from storming a stage. Like, we all are human beings with independence. But you can stop someone from bringing a knife. Yeah. And they didn't. You would hope. Right. Maybe you can't. So this is so, this is awful. Like, this is really, really awful. I saw the video. Looks like Dave Chappelle is totally fine physically um which is good and everyone was able to you know laugh it off right after the tackle Chris Rock came on stage and gave Dave Chappelle a hug and asked was that Will Smith then um Dave Chappelle carried on and made some jokes he was about to announce a musical act and so you know everyone I think was able to carry on right because he was done with mostly done with his set which I to bounce back and have to continue performing is literally sounds horrible.

13:42Right. So I think they made it okay. It will be unclear if it's going to be in the special. I don't know what they even should do about that. Well we were just talking about that. In general this is just like setting a jarring worrisome precedent for like comedians being fair game for verbal and physical assault. Right. But we were talking before the show about like whether so they're filming Netflix is a joke is a comedy festival that Netflix is putting on and of course they're filming a lot of the talent to make content for Netflix comedy specials so I'm sure that this whole evening was filmed I'm sure that they have the incident on camera and we were going back and forth as to whether Netflix should put this in or not like part of me actually I want to say no completely because then this guy becomes a celebrity and then other people are going to be like wow if I want to get on Netflix all I have to do is tackle a celebrity and I think it like encourages bad behavior yeah even though part of me was also thinking like what we it's like such a horrible I don't know I don't know I'm I'm leaning towards really happened so maybe you should just put it in plus I think after you know when everybody I think it was like Chappelle's crew and his personal security and I think it was about like 20 people who beat up on this guy and it was definitely a very big reaction but fuck around and find out you don't just get to charge someone with a knife and then say that the reaction is too big afterwards right no that's 100 % true but I imagine that like perhaps Dave Chappelle doesn't want it on television his entourage like it looks bad 20 to 1 but you only don't see the one guy who stormed the stage with a knife right um so this is just like terrible it's really fucking scary and terrible and it's just crazy that it happens to dave chappelle who's the biggest comedian in the world he has you know swarms of security um he's in a in an environment it's like a legit venue right it's sponsored by netflix like you would think that something like this couldn't happen at an event like this to a person like this, but here it is happening.

15:36Right. And even with like the logistics of like the stage being, you know, some stages you couldn't really jump up. They're too high. They're too far. Still at the Hollywood Bowl, it could be done. It's so scary. And honestly, I'm sure he's fine, but I hope he's fine. I think it rattles anyone. Everyone. I mean, not to make literally everything about me, but like when you're on stage and you hear a weird sound, Like, it is so scary. But you have to keep going because most of the time it's just like a sound. It's not someone storming the stage. So, like, your heart stops. But then you have to keep going because people are like, what's wrong with this bitch?

16:11Yeah. So, for that to actually be something real is so scary. Like, it's every person, human beings, not even comedians. It's every human being's worst nightmare. Like, being attacked for no reason. Yeah. Loser energy. Like. Oh, this goes beyond loser. And this guy got his ass handed to him, which is exactly what he deserved. I'm sorry. There were photos after of him on the stretcher and his elbow is dislocated from his arm. It's gross. It's really gross. But fuck around and find out. And that's the moral of the story. That's the moral of every story. I was just going to say that. It is the moral of every story.

16:42Yep. So we'll see what happens if Dave responds. What will come of this? Dave only responds to things like in comedy format. Like he's not going to release a statement. Right. And this is also like really Chris Rock's first time speaking out about the Will Smith thing. Right. Really because. How crazy that Will Smith, that Chris Rock was there. Right. No, just so weird. Yeah. It's not okay. Like, we are not okay. No. As a society, we are unwell. Unwell. And this has got to stop. If you come to my show just saying, and you get on stage, and, like, you try to touch me, like, I. What happens after that.

17:18Is on you. Like, I will literally, I'm a big bitch. Like, you do not want to fuck with me. Like, I'm strong. No. And she's got a lot of people in her corner. No. And, like. You don't want to mess with me. To make the show. You think that you do want to mess with me, but you don't. No, and like, okay, I like that his team escorted him offstage, but if you're going to come out and try and embarrass me, I'm leaving you onstage, and I'm beating you up in front of everyone. You don't get the privacy of backstage. It's a public flogging. All the cameras coming out for a public affair. And I'll tell everyone to get their phones out.

17:49Wow, okay, there we go. But the toasters are civilized. They are. I don't know, a toaster after a couple of spritz, she'd get wild. true that are you ready for our next story yeah a little more controversy lily reinhardt is slamming quote starving kim kardashian over her met gala 2022 diet yes as we reported yesterday kim shared that she lost 16 pounds in three weeks to fit into the maryland dress and that did not sit well with lily reinhardt who took to her instagram story on tuesday and wrote in text to walk on a red carpet and do an interview where you say how starving you are because you haven't eaten the carb in the last month all to fit into a fucking dress so wrong so fucked on hundreds of levels the star who did not call out Kim by name added that it's disgusting for celebrities to admit to starving themselves considering how many people idolize them she said quote to openly admit to starving yourself for the sake of the Met Gala when you know very well that millions of young men and women are looking up to you and listening to your every word the ignorance is otherworldly disgusting okay I have so many thoughts on this I guess this is that backlash you were talking about.

18:57I really hadn't seen any but now I now I'm familiar. And she doesn't say Kim by name but she might as well have. She wasn't talking about anyone else other than Kim. No no no. Which I just don't like to single out Kim because I watched all the interviews and Venus Williams was like talking about how she's so hungry and like how she and all these other girls were like I can't breathe in my dress. So to single out Kim for and blame her for the entire culture which you perceive to be toxic is unfair, first of all. Second of all, the way that Kim framed it in the sense of like, this for her, this is a role.

19:28And we've heard a million stories, Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Jared Leto, like people always dropping and gaining like 40, 50 pounds in short amount of times. I don't see any backlash there. So like, why is it? It's just like, for me, it's like whether the argument about Kim is valid or not, it bothers me that it's always Kim. It reminds me of like, when Kendall came out with 818, people were really upset because they thought, you know it's um a mexican it's made in mexico and it's a mexican drink and there's totally an argument to be made there but like why do these arguments only come out for the kardashians like nobody said anything about casamigos is george clooney mexican nobody said anything about um ciroc is p diddy russian like so it's like these whether they're valid or not like the fact that these conversations only happen around the kardashians like it bothers me it does yeah it bothers me as well and i agree when kim says she's training for a role you may not like that her role is considered you know just to the Met Gala night a fashions night out but this is perhaps one of the most iconic things that Kim has ever done I took no issue with her sharing because by the way she did and also it's she didn't lose 16 pounds because she wants to be skinny she had to fit into a dress it wasn't like you know I need to be this weight so I can look good at the Met Gala she needed to be a certain weight so that she could fit in the dress right and I personally as a person my the way that I feel is I would rather someone like shred for the wed and let us know what they did and that it was really fucking hard and not just like oh I just happened to fit into Marilyn Monroe's fucking dress.

21:00I agree I think that when celebrities pop up on red carpets looking insanely stunning. And they're like I just had a burger at the hotel. I think that contributes more to like toxic body image. Because you're like why don't I look like that yeah because I just had a burger and I can't fit my ass in my jeans whereas I know why I don't look like this because I have eaten carbs for three weeks straight I wasn't doing two a days yeah tomatoes I agree so like don't get me wrong I mean in celebrity culture there's so much toxicity when it comes to body image and weight and it's hella problematic but I prefer someone to be completely transparent with me than just showing up looking like sheer perfection leaving me wondering like well if she's just a regular girl how did that happen there must be something wrong with me right no actually I know there's nothing wrong with me now thanks to Kim because I eat whatever I want whenever I want because you're not putting in that work right so I don't know I just there's so many about things and maybe it's just because I'm a chemopologist like if this was someone else maybe I would feel differently but I really don't think so I don't get bothered um when people talk about their journey I really don't that's just me um I'm I look the way that I am.

22:02I look the way that I do because of decisions I make. And I guess Kim is extremely influential, but I don't know. I think this is a stretch. I do. But I know a lot of people don't agree with me. Even in the comments yesterday on YouTube, people are like furious at Kim. So like you do you. I'm not furious. I think I would feel the same way about the premise of the argument if it were any other celebrity, but I'm just more invested because it's Kim. Yes. Really, Reinhardt was beefing with someone that I'm not like obsessed with I don't really know if I would think too hard about it yeah um and I mean I think for Kim like she's been doing this her entire career like letting us know when she's losing weight gaining posting her uh workouts letting us know when she's on a diet when she's having beignets in New Orleans like and I'm she's gotten backlash all all along but I think for her like she doesn't care because like on principle she doesn't have an issue with it.

22:58It's not like, oh, oops, I'm sorry. I didn't know that I did that, you know? Yeah. No, I'm just, there's like a few things about this that I just also don't like singling out one person. Like call out culture. Like don't, the issue in celebrity and in Hollywood with body image and weight is so big and it's not Kim Kardashian's fault. I'm sorry, it's not. So to like center the whole argument on Kim, I think is really unfair. Yeah. And just everybody has different experiences and everybody like feels differently about what they're seeing. Whether, you know, you're someone like Lily Reinhardt who this is upsetting to you, but you could be someone with Lily Reinhardt's same experience and see this and not find it upsetting.

23:39Right, or like triggering. Right. Yeah, I just, I'm not agreeing with Lily Reinhardt on this, like at all. No, me neither, but I do, a lot of people do. So there you go. There you go. Our next story, a little exciting fatherhood news. News. News. news exciting fatherhood news post malone is expecting his first child with longtime girlfriend who knew he had a longtime girlfriend not i post malone said i'm excited for this next chapter in my life i'm the happiest i've ever been and for since i could remember i was sad he told tmz time to take care of my body and my family and my friends and spread as much love as we can every day that's so gorgeous sources close to page six said the couple hosted a private party with friends and family in Southern California over the weekend to celebrate the exciting news.

24:28That is just like so traditional. So sweet. I had no idea he had a girlfriend. Love this. I love to see posts. I'm so sorry. You know, what? I'm so sorry.

24:42So the article said sources close to posts. So I just, it's page six. So I submitted the New York Post. Oh no, sources close to post Malone. As in Malone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, of course. That is so funny. That is very confusing though. I feel that. I love this for him. I feel like, you know, Posty's growing up. I feel like hearts are breaking everywhere. As he should be. So my heart goes out to all the girls who thought that this would be them. And it turned out that it wasn't you. I see you. I hear you. And I'm here for you. Did you know that he had a long-term girlfriend? No clue. No clue. No.

25:13That he was just like this family man. No, I love that. The thing about Post Malone is like, you think you know him, but you don't. Right. And like he lives in Utah. He loves country music. He's very unplugged. He loves guitar. He has his priorities in order. No, it's actually so true. Like, especially for how famous he is, he could be like anything he wanted, living in the biggest house in Beverly Hills. But you're right. He's like a weirdly traditional rural king. Right, like having like a little gender reveal party. It's so chuggy. It's chuggy. Post Malone is chuggy. Post Malone, chugalicious.

25:47Chugalicious. He should make his own remix. Chugalicious. Post. Duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff. Chugalicious post Malone makes the girls go loco. Love that for him. Beautiful. Really beautiful. Beautiful. Happy for him. Know that I am. Wow, we've been getting a lot of hate comments about our singing. I saw. Like, is this your guys' first time watching? Has something changed? Nothing. I just can't believe. Like, if you or, like, someone close to me had a voice that was, like, as good as mine, I would make them sing for me all the time. And I'm giving it away for free.

26:20Yeah, and there's always a reason behind the song. Like, we integrate it into the stories. Because we got our reasons. Just like you. Okay, we'll stop. But, like, it's really upsetting. It's just a little random, considering we've been doing this for five years, that we always have a song in our heart. You know what it is? I think this little instrument, like, has definitely increased. It's simple math. When this enters the equation, we have to sing more, you know? Yeah. Give us a song, any song. Honey, don't we gonna have a good time? A thousand hands up to the sky. We gonna get toasted tonight.

27:01Can't let it fade. We got a sparkle in our eye. Can't let it wait. I'm counting down until we start. We're renegades. We come to play. And we play hard. Ooh. Two, three, four. Hunter down we gonna have a good time. A thousand hands up to the sky. We gonna get toasty tonight. Should I keep going? No. Wow. I've been fan. No I'm kidding. Yeah I think as long as there's like a cap of 10 to 20 seconds on the song. I don't know why you guys are complaining. Yeah and also like just notice the gift in front of you and be grateful. Don't be ungrateful okay? Don't be. Don't be all ungrateful. Okay our next story a little security concerning security news.

27:46an intruder disguised as a priest spent the night at the queen's windsor castle and it wasn't me how the fuck is this always happening an intruder disguised as a priest conned his way inside windsor castle on april 26th and even spent the night leaving just hours before queen elizabeth made her return home he said his name was father cruz and claimed to be a friend of the batillion's padre the reverend matt coles he was invited in and offered something to eat in the officer's mess, a source told Britain's Talk TV. The source explained that within a few hours, the man was drinking with officers in the bar and started telling stories about his life, including that he had served in Iraq.

28:22He was telling lots of tall tales and the lads were enjoying his banter and having a few drinks. It was only later when he started talking about how he had worked as an injector seat test pilot and had some organs replaced that the chap started to get suspicious. Security apparently did not conduct any further investigations into the man and authorities were not alerted until the next morning just three hours before Queenie returned to Windsor Castle from her 96th birthday party at Sandringham oh my god how iconic yeah the thing is like not only is this so abhorrent to you know intrude into a personal's a person's home but to do so as a man of God just take man of the cloth this takes it to another more disgusting repulsive level I mean yes though I do could understand the urge to like get close to the queen and just like I want to be you don't think we all feel that way right and want to be in her space but this is unacceptable and this has happened before in the past we saw in the crown and you would think like what's the um the queen's peeps called like her ladies and waiting no no no those aren't don't exist anymore like Scotland Yards thank you myself Scotland Yards should be on top of this thank you myself sounded like dana only only true sorry this is gonna be an extremely hot take only true fucking freaks talk to themselves okay that's just a hot take well i had a dream last night that i was talking to myself that i was like looking in the mirror and i was like thinking that i was seeing i was talking to someone else and then i realized i was talking myself I was like oh it's gotten crazy um one time Ben like okay one time my friend Jenna was like I just ran into Ben on the street she texted me I'm like oh my that's so funny she's like yeah he was literally like mumbling and talking to himself and I was like what she was like yeah it was kind of weird and then I told Ben I'm like when you saw Jenna like what were you doing and he was like nothing I'm like she says you were talking to yourself he's like no I wasn't I think he might have been like going through something because he was literally like wandering around the streets like mumbling.

Read the full transcript

30:28That's so weird. Like I talk to myself all the time but my lips don't move. No, that's called thinking. We all do that. Your lips don't move. That's called thinking. Duh. I'm doing it right now. True. That's a really good point. Yeah, we're all allowed to think to ourselves. I'm saying verbalizing it is weird. I'm sorry. But like I do find myself like thinking in conversation version like talking to myself still doesn't count okay so the only time I think I've ever like spoken to myself when I'm not around it's like only like powering yourself up oh I mean yes before a show power poses that doesn't count you are smart I guess I talk to myself a lot because like unless I'm like let's say I left my phone on this counter I come over and I'm by myself I go to get my phone off the counter it's not there I will say to myself like that's weird.

31:21Yeah. Even though no one's around. Yeah, yeah. I guess maybe... No, I still think it's weird. I guess I talk to myself sometimes. Like I'll just be around my room like... Strattsand.

31:38We have really gotten out of control with Theo's name. With Bryson Thrice? You know, we haven't done in a really long time. Theodora. Theodora. Dora the Explorer. Perfect Angel Dora. Crunchy, delicious Dora. Bruno's Cousin Dora. My one and only Dora. Special Boy Dora. Thick, juicy Dora. Floppy ears Dora. Little Nose Dora. Wagging Tail Dora. Sexy Walk Dora. Doo-doo Dora. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Dora. A. Do-do-do-do Theodora. O. Do-do-do-do Theodora. Dora the Explorer.

32:30Stunning. Okay, I'm sorry for those last few minutes, you guys. It's safe to come back now. What was the story? The Queen had an intruder. Oh, right. Unacceptable. Like an embarrassment to her security. And the fact that this has happened not once but twice is disgraceful to the crown, to the monarchy, and to all of England. honestly I could not do a British accent. Agreed. Do it. Brother. Gran. No. Let me in Gran. Let's just talk. I want to come to the party Gran. Party? Let's talk in British accents. I find. I can't do a British accent. I can only do Prince Harry. Yeah. I can't do like any accents.

33:07Maybe that's why I'll never really make it as a comedian. That's so true. Because like. You can't do impersonations. I can do Shakira, but that's it. That's not enough. No. So like, what would you do as like a southern accent? Hey y 'all. Yeah. How y 'all doing? Hey bruvva. That's not southern. Hey bruvva. Could you do Australian? Yeah. Hey bruvva. You're so fucking annoying. Trying to have a conversation. I can do French. Hey bruvva. No, you could do French. Au revoir bruvva. You could do Hebrew. Shalom bruvva. I don't know how to say hello in any other languages um yeah that's a good point yeah spanish hola brother oh my god i just remembered something i did i have to unburden myself i did dude jackie i don't think i can say it now you have to it is i'm literally gonna cry oh my god i did this burden is coming from the depths of her soul.

34:10I did the most embarrassing thing over the weekend. Like I actually. That's so funny because I asked you on Monday if you embarrassed yourself this weekend. Oh my god I just remembered. I was really high like really high and I'm like I actually don't want to say it. I'm like so ashamed. Let it go. No I can't. You have to set it down. You have to un. Oh my god it's all coming up. You have to un. Okay. Paint a picture. So me and Ben like we got high at this party like on pot And I got, like, a little, like, I don't like being high in public. Like, I really don't. So I was like, can we please leave?

34:45And he was like, yeah. So we got in the cab. And when we got in bed, I was, like, feeling much better. You know, and I started to enjoy, like, being high. And my spray tan's literally being cried off. So we ordered food from the diner. And it was taking a long time. I can't say it. Like, I literally can't. How could you have embarrassed yourself so bad in your own house? On the phone. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. So I placed the order on Uber Eats. And then like a couple hours later, no, not a couple hours, sorry. Like 20 minutes later, we were like, hi, and we were like, where's the food? So I called, and I just wanted to make sure that the order went through, and the guy was really nice.

35:22He was giving like big Italian mobster over the phone. He was like, yeah, I got your order. So I don't know. I like wanted to relate to him. It's not what you think. It's worse. Wait, I can't drink. Okay. so I when I was saying thank you he was like so helpful and nice and I was like high and dumb I couldn't even remember what we were talking about so as we were hanging up I like wanted to relate to him in some way like and like be like authentic Italian like girly that's you and I just I was just in Italy like a few months ago and I didn't learn how to say anything except for like good night which is bon bon oui or something so as I'm hanging up I'm like sir Thank you so much.

36:07Bon nuit. And he was like... He was like from New Jersey. He wasn't like Italian. And he was like, what? I was like, bon nuit. He was like, okay.

36:28And I told Ben this story. He was like, why would you say...

36:39I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed. Why would I say this?

36:53I do feel better. I do. I do feel better. I only have one thing to say. Bonne nuit. And to be honest, I don't even think that's how you say goodnight. in Italian. Like, I'm not sure. Oh, my God. I can't breathe. I'm okay. Thank you for... What were we talking about? Were we talking about Italy? Back to the Queen. Right. How did we get here? Brubba. Oh, brubba. Bonne nuit, brubba. Oh, my God. You know what? I really do feel better. Like, for real. No, that's important. Yeah. No, but you were literally just, like, talking to Zach Shapiro on the phone and you said bonnie. Yeah, no. He was literally not, probably not even Italian.

37:33Right. Oh my God. I'm crying. That's really funny. It's horrifying, like beyond, but I'm okay. And you feel better. I do. Thank you for letting me unburden myself. The power of the unburdening, you guys. I'm okay. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yeah. Which is a little heartwarming sports news. Oh my God. Just to take us home. It's everything, you guys. You have to watch us TikTok. Aaron Judge, well, it's a video that does reside on TikTok as well as other platforms. No, it's just TikTok. Aaron Judge Homer leads to fans wholesome moment so Aaron Judge is a player for the New York Yankees Tamra's son he's Tamra's son and he hit a home run congratulations Mr.

38:13Judge and a rival fan of the Blue Jays caught it so the Blue Jays guy obviously doesn't want Aaron Judge's ball even though like if you're like into sports memorabilia you could sell the ball it's it's great to catch it like well regardless even if you catch a ball and it's not your team like you usually keep it because like it's cool right but he was sitting next to this little kid who was a big Aaron Judge fan who's wearing the jersey and everything and he gave it to the kid and they got it on camera the kid's life was made and his dad's life was made and it was just like the sweet started crying and gave like the biggest hug to this random man from Toronto and it's literally so cute like it will bring a tear to your eye and then they show like the dad you know the son going back to the dad and the dad giving him the biggest kiss like he was so proud of it literally could bring tear in my eye it really could I will post it on our tiktok it is the on our tiktok on our instagram it is the cutest most sweet and like in a world that's so unwell moments like these that's really why like I don't like I don't really love sports but I don't mind watching them because like in sports there's always something nice happening you know they honor the military they help you know people who are sick they're always doing good things in sports and they're also like they're representatives of their community so they're always really doing stuff for the community but sports do bring people together They could also be quite divisive.

39:25Yeah, of course. But I do feel like at the end of the day, they bring more people together than they separate people apart. They do more good than harm. Right, because people don't really get into like real beef over rivalries. But I think for a lot of people talking about sports, it's an immediate connection. It's like, you know, us talking about Bravo or we're talking about books. All of a sudden, we're best friends. That's true. It's a family affair. It's bringing people together. Well, thank you for that gorgeous fifth and final story that just really put a twinkle in my eye. You already had a tear in your eyes.

39:54I know. I'm really not okay. My throat hurts from laughing like that. But the show's not over. Oh, really quickly. Okay, let me do... Okay, let's dive into TV recap really quick. I know you didn't watch it, so I don't want to spoil anything for you. It's okay. But I just want to say... I made a choice, you know, and that doesn't mean I can come here and ruin the show because I didn't watch. Part one of the New Jersey reunion is just not what you would expect. There is so much drama on the left couch. Like, Jennifer and Dolores are not friends, and Teresa had an engagement party and didn't invite Dolores.

40:19So the left couch is, like, crumbling. um and actually Dolores said she said to the to the other girl she said it to Jackie to Melissa and Margaret she's like I am so sorry for defending Jennifer all these years like you were right I was wrong okay and what about Teresa and Teresa was basically like you know we had an engagement party with like all the couples we go out with and Dolores and I you know we don't double date so and Dolores was like if that's what Teresa wants it's fine like very cold oh okay fine like she's not there's not uh they're not done but like that couch is on their way to ruin and that's why it was so upsetting because I really felt like the anti-teresa movement was making a lot of progress last night like teresa looked so stupid everything she said was more dumb and dumb by the minute and I was losing brain cells um and that's really to the credit of margin jackie and now that jackie's been demoted like I just don't agree with that decision whatsoever and I actually saw a tweet that I screenshotted because I thought it was so profound and it goes like this.

41:16Well, anything can happen. They haven't started filming. You know, maybe someone will hear these cries and change course. Sources are confirming that the rumors of Jackie Goldschneider being made friend of for the next season of Rehonge. And somebody wrote, My girl gave us the rawest, realest personal storyline across the franchise in years. And this is how they repay her. When Dolores has been renovating her house for five seasons. I'm sick from Mark Duffy. I agree, Mark. Wow. So I just felt like finally we've actually made progress in the dynamic of this group where we all just like kowtow to Teresa and it's actually been like frustrating to watch.

41:50We are making progress and I do feel like Jackie taking a step back delineates that process. Yeah, but we still have Marge and now Dolores is turning. And Melissa. No, but I think that that tweet makes an even better point than the fact that we're making progress. It's like she literally just bared her soul and I think helped a lot of people. And it was actually quite interesting for like, for a viewer who hates, for someone who hates personal storylines. And personal journeys. I hate that footage. I couldn't get enough of Jackie's journey. I thought it was beyond interesting. Yeah. And I think to repay her in a demotion is so fucked up.

42:27I agree completely. So it ain't right. But the Melissa, Joe, and Teresa of it all was super interesting. Like, you know, Teresa's having a wedding. She's having bridesmaids and Melissa's not one. But Louie's sisters are. So like her sister-in-law's on the other side. And they had an engagement party and they literally sat Melissa Jo and the kids at like some random table in the back with random people. And like for so long, so Melissa doesn't get involved and she doesn't defend her friends because of Teresa. Right. And Teresa, and for Melissa, that's like so big. She's sticking with the family.

43:00And the way that Teresa has perceived it all these years is that like Melissa is Marge's friend and she doesn't do anything for her. It's not enough that Melissa doesn't engage. Teresa expects her to back her, even though Melissa thinks she's wrong. So it was so painful for Melissa and Joe, like just talking to this moron who like, she's like, all right, you know, okay, Joe, you're always right. Like it can't even enter her brain that she is always wrong. Like she's never been right about one thing in her whole fucking life. She's insufferable. I don't understand how people can stand this woman.

43:31She's awful. And literally Andy was like, Like, you always say, like, Melissa never defends you. Like, can you give us a couple examples of times when you've defended Melissa and had Melissa's back? And she's literally like, well, you know, guys, help me. Like, you know, like, tell me. And then there was, like, a freak circuit breaker, and the lights went out right as she was like, ooh. And so they get the lights back on, and Andy asks the question again. And we got it both times. She's like, you know, like, guys, come on, help me out. Like, it was painful. I cannot stand this woman. Like, it's insane how invested I'm getting.

44:10It's so painful. Yeah, no, that's how I feel after every time I watch New Jersey. And then by the time we recap on the show, I feel like I come to myself a little bit. But the feelings are so visceral. Yeah. Yeah. So I want you to watch it. And we'll recap next week with part two. Okay. With all the men. Because only Joe Gorga came out. Not Frank. And then, like. Not Frank. No. Only Joe Gorga came out. And Teresa was like, you're such a little bitch boy. like this is a housewives what are you doing here her and jennifer theresa and jennifer were ganging up on joe like family family and you're literally this girl you just met last year you're ganging up on your brother with her wait but if it's only housewives then why is she doing confessionals hundred percent but don't talk about jia that you dare talk about jia i don't want to um so like if you're watching the season like you know how painful it is and i'm sorry that we're all going through this together now let's dive into dear toasters which is our advice segment if you ever want to write in the email is deartosters at gmail.com thank you to everyone who resubmitted I told you guys like if it's too long we really can't read it so a lot of people resubmitted with shorter more abridged versions and I'm extremely grateful thank you we also have an update today ready yeah hey Jackson Claude I'm in major need of your bite of your advice because I'm literally about to explode my mother-in-law oh this is going to be divisive my mother-in-law has a terrible habit of kissing my eight-month-old baby on the mouth.

45:30You heard it on his freaking mouth. I verbalized it multiple times to friends and family about how much it bothers me and she has been there when I've mentioned it. It may not be a big deal to others but to me it's just gross. I mentioned it to my peach-um husband and he said he would address it with her but he has yet to do so. This weekend she did it right in my husband's face when I tried to get his attention to notice he totally disregarded me. He's a bit of a mama's boy and he tends to feel bad about hurting her feelings. What bothers me is that my mother-in-law works in health care and can bring home whatever she has seen at work.

45:57Ooh. And hello, COVID. I honestly wouldn't doubt if she was doing it on purpose as we've had our issues in the past and she tends to be manipulative. What do I do? Do I wait for my husband to address it or should I take it into my own hands and tell her directly? Please help. I promise to give you an update. Sincerely, a toaster who's about to lose her shit. Okay. I don't think she's doing it on purpose to bother you because I don't think she would like suck at the baby's immune system just to get at you. There are other ways. I feel as though I have a conflict of interest here. You do because you're the perpetrator.

46:20I kiss Harry on the mouth. But if you told me not to, I would never. Right. You haven't said anything, so I'm going to keep going. I haven't really seen it. And that's what I would say about this. Like, I haven't, if someone was doing this, you told me that you do that, but I never saw it. It's so good. If I saw it and it didn't sit right with me, I would say it. I would say it to anyone and I would just say it on the spot. And that's the thing about being a mama, that like when something crosses your personal line, it doesn't matter if you're right, wrong. It's how you feel. That's your baby.

46:46You cooked him for 10 months. It's valid. You pushed him out one way or the other. It's your way or the highway. way and so you don't need to have your husband say something if you see it stop it if it's if it's not okay with you and it does it makes you uncomfortable say please don't do that especially in this day and age then we're gonna have to set further boundaries especially in this day and age I feel like like we're always saying like COVID is the best excuse for everything so like if you really want to do soften the blow instead of just being like even though I agree with your approach it's your baby fuck off but if you want to like soften the blow a little bit you can like mention COVID you know like COVID is just giving us all reasons to like not do things we don't want to do exactly and that's the small blessing coming out of COVID so I agree if this crosses your personal boundary like it's enough just call it out call it when you see it that's the best way to do stuff don't let it fester yeah call it when you see it I like that I think that's been like one of the biggest changes in me as a mama like instead of you know usually are you saying mama ironically I can't tell like I know that it triggers you so that's always fun but I do feel like there's a difference between like being a mom and being like a mama like a mama bear yeah you know and I think that that's something for me where it's like used to be if something bothered me I would sit on it think about it see if it still bothered me and then find a way to deal with it now it bothers me it's cut yeah because mamas don't have time for that so true mama they got the time so true well I deferred on I defer to this mama on that mama next up hey girlies my three sisters mom and I are all toasters and we need some of your advice our younger brother 23 is a pijom and he's never had a girlfriend and we are 99 sure he was still a virgin up until recently he's been dating this 20 year old girl who seems really immature her instagram is in private so we were creeping and we clicked on her visco link in her bio the first thing we see is an extremely scandalous mirror pic of our brother and her naked fresh out of the shower she actually attached the picture to us but I didn't want to see it because I felt like it was invasive to make it even worse To make it even worse, this was taken...

48:43I need to see it. I need to see it. Will you pull it up? Will you twist the computer around? To make it even worse, it was taken at our parents' house. Or you can email it to me. I have my iPad. Oh, yeah, email. But don't show it on camera. But can you listen to me? There's more. Okay, to make it even worse, this was taken at our parents' house. We are all extremely disturbed, and we just want to protect our brother at all costs. We are meeting her for the first time this weekend, and we need your advice. Do we say something to our brother? Do we wait until after the weekend? Are we overreacting?

49:07Thank you in advance, and I love you both so much. I'm sorry, baby. Do you have the picture? No, not yet. Maybe she doesn't know that Visco's public. No, she put it in her bio. You can't say anything. Like, he's living his life. He's not doing anything wrong. I need to see the picture, actually. I need to see the picture, too. The only thing you could say, like, if it's really inappropriate, you could be like, maybe I shouldn't post this somewhere public. That's the only thing that they're doing, you know, quote-unquote wrong. Okay, we have the picture. Oh, it's not that bad, honestly. Let me see.

49:46It's fucking weird, honestly. Like, girl looks pretty. Your brother looks hot. I like it. I like it, too. It's a nice photo. It's very erotic. Did she send any more screenshots? I like the beat. No, only the one. I like the beat. Listen, your brother's an artist, clearly. Right. Even though what's so funny is like, what's funny, I don't know. What's funny about that is like, it's from VSCO. the picture appears to have absolutely no filter. Yeah, no, it's not about the VSCO. I don't know. How old is... That's just like really crazy to see from your brother. But again, like he's not doing anything wrong.

50:20No, and your brother looks cute. Like there's no way he was a virgin. Like I'm sorry to burst your bubble. They're clearly very into each other. And I think that if you say anything, you're just going to drive a wedge and maybe push him a little further away. So you've got to let this thing run its course. Truckers for VSCO nude pics. Honestly, I'm like really... I can't get the picture out of my brain. It was kind of stunning. No, I know. I've never seen like a pose like that. I have to do that with Ben. You know, that's perfect because we can't post that picture. But I could post mine. You could post yours.

50:49It was giving like Nicola in Brooklyn. It was giving like Annie Leibovitz. It was really stunning. Honestly, like I think you should just be happy for your brother. Like the girl is hot. Her boobs are amazing. Okay, but here, let me throw it to you this way. What would you do if you saw that like Snitch and the new man were taking pictures like that? I would only be upset for her that it's public because, you know, things like that can ruin your life. And things like that really shouldn't be kept. No, that couldn't ruin your life. No, if your job found it or something, like it's public. It just would, you wouldn't get fired for something like that, but it would make people look at you different.

51:21It's awkward. Take it off the internet, but like keep taking pictures like that. I like it. Send direct reports. I like it, but like if you're going to say something, it would only be about the fact that it's on public. Like shit like that is private. Yeah, be like, isn't this a little private for the public? Yeah. Depends how close you are. and if like you think that this would be a little bit. I'm going to like reverse Google image search, find this girl's VSCO, then her Instagram and befriend her. Yeah. She's probably a toaster. With tits like that, she's got to be. Totes. Okay, our final submission is an update.

51:50And it was an update on one that I did with Ben. So I'm going to read you the submission. Okay. My boyfriend of eight years and I recently moved in together. He's a pijom, but moving in together sheds light on habits that each other has that we're not always been aware of. And I think I found his major flaw. He's a booger flicker. they're everywhere don't get me wrong everyone gotta pick their nose i'll do it sometimes but i always make sure to use a tissue to make sure it's hygienic but i'm finding this man's boogers everywhere on walls dressers blinds literally every day i swear i find a booger in a place i least expect it to the first one or two times i pointed it out to him i called him gross and we both laughed about it but now it's reaching a disgusting level and i'm not sure what to do he's my future husband i love him to pieces what do i do so here we wrote it we got an update from her um and we told her well i i did that this specific entry with ben because ben is like always sneezing and his boogers fly everywhere and he'll like leave him crusted on the wall like it's disgusting okay okay so what'd you tell her to do break she's got to be stern because this habit doesn't die hard clearly ben is working on it sounds like he has like an overproduction of boogers though he might have a sign of infection um hey hey ladies i wrote a few weeks ago about my booger flicking and i'm happy to report on some improvements i loved ben's math of one booger equalizing two seltzers oh because ben was basically saying like ben if i'm laying in bed like Ben gets me a seltzer he gets me out of like I don't get out of bed and me wiping up his boogers is the price I pay.

53:09Interesting. So for every two seltzers I get I have to clean up one booger. Fair. So I loved Ben's math of one booger equaling two seltzers but unfortunately I'm not weighted on hand and foot by my boyfriend so I couldn't really implement that advice into our dynamic. But someone in the Toast Facebook group made a post about how disgusting my dear toaster story was. Embarrassing but understandable. And someone left a comment suggesting I keep tissues around the house so they're readily available when my boyfriend feels like he needs to clear his nose. I don't know why I didn't realize that before but it turns out the booger flicking was just a result of pure laziness.

53:38Since placing tissue boxes in a few more places around the house I can happily share that my walls and furniture have been snot free ever since and hopefully this habit will begin to stick. Thank you Ben the toasters for all your help. Love a grateful toaster. That's such a great point. I actually have tissues all over my house. You do. Like I have one on each nightstand in the bedroom. We have one on our coffee table in the living room. We have one in the bathroom. Like we just do. That's crazy. I don't have one box of tissues in my house. No, it's kind of like great to have some tissues. No, I agree.

54:06You think, yeah, I could use toilet paper, I could use a paper towel, but you don't. Right. And even if you just have a little tickle, you just grab a tissue. Yeah. Wow, I'm learning so much from the toasters. Yeah, this is good for you too because now Ben could do it. Totally. Get a box of tissues on his side of the bed. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, so glad the toasters were able to solve that for her even if we couldn't. And that's dear toasters again. Sometimes things are out of our control. Agreed. If you ever want to write in or you have an update for us on something you've written in about, it's deertoasters at gmail.com.

54:35That is our show, our final show of the week. The next time you guys see me, I will be a comedian who has performed at Madison Square Garden, which is just so crazy and it's pretty cool. So that's our show. Any last words, Jax? No, we're so proud of you. I love you. We're so excited. I really feel like I'm just going to be so overwhelmed with pride and joy. And I'm so looking forward to seeing the show. For the first time. For the first time. I'm just like a night out seeing my favorite comedian in my hometown. What could be better? And you're going to be amazing. So I look forward to seeing you a different woman on Monday.

55:10And you know what I have to say to everyone? Bonne nuit. Bonne nuit, y 'all. Have a great day, everyone. We'll see you on Monday. And I'll see all you guys tomorrow at Madison Square Garden. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Biddy ba, skiddy da da da ba ba ba beep ba ba do ba ba ba ba ba ba beep

From the publisher

Watch the original episode here on YouTube.

Dave Chapelle Attacked on Stage at Hollywood Bowl By Audience Member Armed with Weapon (Page Six) (10:40) 

Lili Reinhart Slams 'Starving' Kim Kardashian Over Met Gala 2022 Diet (Page Six) (18:00)

Post Malone Expecting First Child with Longtime Girlfriend (Page Six) (24:01) 

Intruder Disguised as Priest Spends Night at the Queen's Windsor Castle (Page Six) (27:44) 

Aaron Judge Homer Leads to Fans' Wholesome Moment (NY Post) (37:48) 

RHONJ Reunion Recap (40:01) 

Dear Toasters (DearToasters@gmail.com) (45:00) 

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