Toast Herstory: I Don’t Like YOU (Original Airdate April 3rd, 2024)

0:00Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday. That's right. It is Wednesday. It is hump day. It is middle of the week. You did it. Congrats, grads. How you doing, Jax? You're doing it. We're on our way to the latter half. Things we're doing. The week. It. The days of the week. I wonder if we'll ever mature enough to stop talking. I don't think so. It's germane to the episode. That's part of being a weekly podcast. Daily podcast. It's part of being human, first of all. And second of all, I like how you say mature. I think it's probably the most mature thing about us, how we're so self-aware.

0:37We're always observing our surroundings, our circumstances. I think it's really indicative of not only high maturity, but also high intelligence. Not mature, evolve past. Because everything, the jokes change on the show all the time, but kind of like the one constant are the days of the week. And I guess Hubermeister isn't on his podcast talking about the days of the week, even though I think in an odd sense he is. But he also drops weekly. We can't compare ourselves to those slackers. Yeah, we can't compare ourselves to people who don't work nearly as hard as we do. To weekly slackers. Yeah, it's getting slack.

1:12And rock attack. Rock attack. And blame and shame. And blame and shame. Speaking of my favorite person to blame. Who's my favorite person to blame? Ben. It's his birthday. It is his birthday. And then, you know, I feel like we use this platform a lot. really is like a punching bag with our husbands and honestly I feel like it's the best things for our marriage honestly like I think you and I both have you know knock wood knock wood really healthy strong marriages because we have a platform in which we can just commiserate and vent I mean then we don't go home and take it out on our husbands like other women do like for real it's true I think but today let's make an exception today is Ben's birthday and actually Ben was supposed to be on a work trip he was supposed to leave at 5 a.m this morning but there's like a crazy storm up here in the northeast like he can't go anywhere it's been postponed so i had planned nothing like for the actual day so i look like a piece of shit no he must know that yeah you know of course but we made last minute lunch plans i've got a last minute balloon delivery on its way and on my way to lunch i gotta go buy a gift because i was i was planning on spending the day buying him a gift what are you thinking i don't know i like was really nice when i was in umst bart's and i bought my i was at prada like buying myself things and i bought him a prada wallet which i should have just held the fuck onto like a big dope but I got home and he was like how was your day and I was just so excited like I was like I got you a wallet then the next day he actually left the wallet in a cab thank god we found it we tracked it down but yeah that's just kind of husband I have oh my god I have to stop today was supposed to be positive no for sure I just feel like you shouldn't like buy him some designer does today like I feel like if we think you should you know where you should go for his birthday gift where to like William Sonoma or Sir La Table and get him like a really cool kick like cooking gadget that's a great idea but then it becomes my problem why they have beautiful things you could find something that would be cool for cooking and really nice looking do you know what he bought we have a kitchen aid mixer that we got it was on our registry like you know that 500 thing that everybody puts on their registry it's a rite of passage ask me how many times we've used it in our seven year marriage okay probably zero zero it's because once you once you use it once you will use it more but first you have to take it out of the plastic you have to see like how life-changing it is so we've never used it and ben decided over the weekend to buy a new attachment for it a meat grinder he's like we can make our own sausage i'm like you're you're never gonna make sausage are you gonna be eating sausage of course not that would be the craziest like thing that would have been that sounds like an april fool's party claudia's making and eating sausage but i do kind of love the idea of going to like Williams-Sonoma.

3:47I'll add it to the list. But wow, he took a real digression there. It's so hard not to just. Like you could get him like a gorgeous premium olive oil. Okay, I feel like I could do better than that. No, no, no. Like a really fancy olive oil. Like he would, that's thoughtful. It helps you. It's nice. By the way, I love it. Really fancy olive oil. So backtracking before I started complaining. He also loves, he loves a good knife. Yes. Backtracking to before I started complaining, I feel like, oh, you know, a lot of the days we come out here and we say good guys this, good guys that, not so good guys, you know?

4:23But today I wanted to say this. Ben, I know you'll never hear this because you don't support my podcast and it's another issue in our marriage. Ben, because the people who rat on us will never send the nice things that we say. On the off chance that this, you know, makes its way across your desk, let me say this. I love you. You're a great husband, a great father, really a really great father. I hope this year is filled with joy and happiness and peace. You know, Ben and I were talking last night. It was a tough year for Ben. He lost Theo, which really was, I want to say, much harder on Ben than it was on me.

4:54I mean, it was really hard on me, but Ben took it really. You know, Ben's never lost. Knock wood, you know. I've been through it. He hasn't. So I hope for this year, happiness, joy, success. Prosperity. Prosperity and peace and health. And I love you so much. And you're an amazing husband, even though I joke, really 10 out of 10. couldn't ask for anyone better except for Joe Manganiello but you know let's not bring him up you know yeah yeah no need to like compare Ben to you know who's the worst husband honestly it's Brock from Reba I like I can't get over it he's so awful just awful I was gonna say like Scott Peterson but have you seen that man that oh man there's like a movement of people who are believing Scott Peterson now like it's come full circle and now they're thinking maybe he didn't do it okay um there's also like a movement of people who support osama bin laden like who gives a fuck you know i'm saying this is really making its way the mentally ill are gonna stay mentally ill and as long as us mentally well people remember that and we don't let them get to us we'll be okay you guys yeah so i'm glad that that's not ben all's that no it's not well tbd it's not he's the best i'm saying nice things tervey yeah yeah he's the best and we love him dearly here at the toast he's you know he's always there for us he fills in when we need him to he's great for the content he's always up for a good joke and you know ben i love you i really do i love you happy birthday ben oh and spritz is celebrating in a big way they are biggest sale of the year 24 hours the code is bsc32 stands for ben's offer celebrity is turning 32 32 and that's a big discount we don't really do that so bsc32 at spritz society.com if you want to do anything nice for ben's offer you will like go to the website click around maybe buy something like that means more like spritz means more to ben than i do you know and that's not true honestly for his birthday she just plays a mega order on the website like you should ben is like always like monitoring spritz and like when people there some people order for like make his day some people order like for bachelorette parties or even for their weddings and they order like bulk amounts and ben will go to like the highest um amount and like literally add product to their order and send them a thank you note like he's obsessed i'll do it that's my gift whatever you were going to spend at like louis vuitton or williams sonoma spend at spritz love that and then like send it to like a worthy toaster love because i'm sure you don't need a wedding i'm sure you don't need more spritz in your house if it's anything like my house yeah we're stocked more spritz than water so it's a great day I'll be out with the celebrity all afternoon I had to clear my schedule because I got to take care of the birthday boy so that'll be great we're going to lunch I do have half of his gift purchased I mentioned it on the patreon I'm gonna give it to him today so should I say it I don't want any bitch these bitches to spoil it let's put trust in the audience even though I trust the audience I just don't trust the rats but like let's give them a chance to not disappoint us no and like by the time this episode is up I'll be giving it to him an hour later yeah I think we're fine and he won't be on his phone because he'll be with his darling wife the first half of the gift that I got him is of course just so happens Ben's birthday week Olivia Rodrigo's performing at Madison Square Garden like four different nights oh yeah I knew that so I'm getting I already got those for Saturday night oh I knew that I thought it was gonna be something I didn't know which is why I made you say it but yeah we did take a big chance now oh fuck should we cut it out no no I'm saying like let's see if people have learned yeah and then if someone does message him well name shame and blame them oh by the way if somebody does message message I'm like I will be sending them I'm gonna find their name and then find their address and I will like get on one of those like monthly annoying prank mail things where they send you a glitter bomb a bag of shit you know like I will do that to you so just be prepared love it And I'm a woman of my word.

8:55Like, I will follow up. Love it. Name, shame, and blame. So we've got Ben today. We've got Dear Toasters. They're fabulous. We have an update. We have a couple really funny ones. We also have stories. Describe them for me. And perhaps, let's say six words. Wow, six. Okay.

9:12They are good. They're not great. Oh, a conjunction. That's like six and a half words, but I'll allow it. I'm within the box. You put me in a box. You know why I'll allow it? Why? Because I love a... Conjunction, junction, what's your function? Thank you. We finish each other's... Sandwiches. I want a sandwich. I would not turn a... Oh, and also we're going out for like the celebratory lunch. Where are you going to lunch? Well, I don't want to like get stabbed. So I'll tell you. Okay, let me tell you. We've eaten there. Of course. They have a few locations in Manhattan. Is it one of our usuals for...

9:52No. Okay. I'll just text it to you I love texting I love texting and this is like this is not people will find out on your Instagram later where you went and it's a place where like the food is like really indulgent especially like you know which one which one the one they're all they're all menus are a little different the one near you know us okay oh that's really fancy yeah I know and it's raining so I look like a piece of shit slob with my moon boots oh they're gonna see you in the back i know it's one of those restaurants where it's like oh they'll clock you the second you walk in gap tooth bitch to the back yeah what is yeah no it's on the delvey thing it's not vip it's not i don't like you i don't like you actually that's not anadelby that's mikaela that's the maitre d at the restaurant you're going to Mikayla's favorite thing to say is I don't like it that's when she's like stop Claudia like please stop she goes I don't like it I don't like it and I guess I maybe took it too far one day just like with my love and devotion so instead of saying I don't like it she literally pointed at me and she was like and every time I recreated I put it in the Anadelvy voice but she did have a little bit of Anadelvy to her she goes I don't like you and honestly the room went still silence from everyone it was chilling because she really took it up a level not only with the accent but also i don't like it is different than i don't like you you dead in the eye finger in your face wag wiggled her i don't like you went around the room who's it gonna land on i don't like you and now we can't say it and that's exactly what the maitre d at this restaurant would do it'd be oh leggings I don't like you I'm wearing leggings I need to wear something tucked into my rain boots like I can't I'm just a victim of circumstance that's so you it's like you you feel like that gets you out of like victim culture if you blame it on victim of circumstance what else am I supposed to wear in the rain walking around working I'm a working woman I bills to pay I'm not just this lady who can like walk around in stilettos with her driver you know yeah and now those are the type of people that eat at this restaurant yeah you should see their mean of transportation when they leave like what are they changing their shoes they're not like or they're wearing like chanel wellies no they might be wearing chanel wellies or they're literally wearing stilettos and they walk three steps to their driver yeah yeah i'm a working woman i'm a woman of the people i'm a woman of the streets you are but i am wearing jenny canes so like yeah maybe i could see it at the front that brings up the group average it does it does you look cute today pretty in pink are you experiencing you know days of rain like we are no am i no i'm not but i did place a huge order of new clothes like daily clothes last night and so until it arrives like i'm just like these are placeholders you know these days don't count i don't need to like try and find like a busing outfit like it's all coming i'm just need to get there you know okay so i'm at the face i kind of like gave up but i still got it i got my slut strand so that like gives me a couple points I'm at the phase where I desperately need to clean out my closet I can't buy stuff because I'm out of hangers I know you said I can't but I bought more number one rule you cannot buy new clothes until you're if you don't have hangers in your closet like loose to hang up the new clothes that means you need to purge however I have purged like a lot just over time and I'm in a place right now where I have so many clothes because I have so many size clothes like I have all of my old clothes which that's fair right I feel like it's a loophole and I get a pass because I have all my old clothes, which as you saw, like I'm still going to wear them one day.

13:41I give like they're for everyone. They're great clothes. Then I have like my clothes that I wear right now that I need, of course. Then I have like pregnancy clothes. Of course. By the way, you're allowed. That I understand. I'm not experiencing a transition like that. You just never know what you're going to need and when. And like I can't be like buying new stuff again, like whenever. But where do you put the new clothing? So I have the hanging space because I do have a big closet and I could like smush things aren't totally smushed yet okay but I don't want to get to a place of totally smushed that's not ideal but I need a array of sizes like I literally have everything from extra small up until extra large and I need it that way right now that's fair that's fair I just need to devote some time because I placed a very very small order from Zara because I needed like a I needed like two capsule collection item wardrobes and I feel like Zara is a good place like before you spend money on like a big expensive thing see if you like it from Zara so I just got like I needed a pair of nice black like trouser shorts and I needed a nice spring coat and they're just sitting on the dining room table like that drives me insane when there's no space for it and I don't like shoving it into my closet because you shove it and then you don't ever like you can't see it so you're never going to wear this new item that you just bought why do you have those nice spring coats from theory I do I do I was like 60 pounds heavier when I bought them so they're like a little big on me.

15:04I still wear them. They're kind that could they're kind of like one size. I still wear them but like I want something new like something a little bit longer. You're saying out with the old and in with the new. Goodbye clouds of gray. Hello skies of blue. Okay I can understand that. I could relate. And also we just got I got so much clothing. Rails is one of the new toe sponsors which actually they're sponsoring their first episode is today. We're obsessed with them. I get so much clothing from them and they sent me clothing which is like a dream and it's literally sitting on my dining room table it's pissing me off pretty much already worn everything that they sent so did i ready for the next round so the one outfit that they sent that we both have i think i've worn it five times and i got it like two weeks ago i wore twice and i haven't taken any pictures in it yet so like i'm ready for a third haven't taken any pictures in it yet every time i wore it i was with different people yeah same like i could wear it again you know what maybe i'll wear to tonight ben's birthday dinner with his family that would have been a good thing to wear to your fancy lunch yeah all's that to say I personally I kind of love lunch better than dinner like I love going out to lunch better than going out to dinner I like lunch menu items better than dinner menu items okay that's really really interesting I I don't know if I like dinner more than I like lunch are you talking about also what day of the week is it you know hypothetically weekday oh weekday no my weekdays like especially with like my new health journey where I'm really trying to figure out I'm on Weight Watchers trying to figure out like how to stay healthy and but also full my weekdays revolve around my dinner like when Ben is done working and we make dinner like it's the highlight of my day well like the restaurant you're going today too I would rather go there for lunch than for dinner is what I'm saying like I love like lunch fair and I love lunch lighting I also feel like people like I don't know if this is just like a me thing I always feel like yeah I can have like a bigger lunch because like by the end of the day like won't even count you know yeah but I'm not even going to have a big lunch I want a light salad a couple abscettuna tartare maybe like one like that's just what I like you know I don't eat steak I don't eat meat like right so the dinner options what am I gonna have pasta like it's just heavier and there's less for our girl I feel that your girl has been left behind our girl had to like it And I'm like, yeah, girl.

17:26So having said that, I do feel like we should get into it. We have a lot to do today. And you have to make it to said lunch. Right, right. You can't just keep talking about it. Totally. So without further ado, here are the pastime stories that you need to know. Today's episode of Toast History, which is so fabulous, by the way, I hope you're enjoying, is brought to you by Clean Simple Eats Protein. We have found our newest protein powder obsession, and it's Clean Simple Eats. We love them because their protein powder is always grass-fed. It has no seed oils, no artificial ingredients. It's also third-party tested.

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21:05And I'm like, oh, it must not be here because everyone would have been sending it to us. So I was two weeks behind and I was like, oh wait, no, definitely not because everyone would have told us. I don't think they're using it at all. That's too bad. That would have been really a value add for the show. Like for their show. Yeah, and that was such a great episode. The girls would have loved to see it. It just would have been so fun. It would have been good for the whole community. Yeah, missed opportunity. Are you all caught up on VPR? I didn't watch last night, but I caught up on the first two.

21:31and honestly like I was bored to tears like I guess the big reveal no no I was already caught up on that the big reveal of like Katie fucking Max like uh who gives a fuck I didn't even know I know Max because he was you know on for one season then got fired but I didn't know him and Tom Schwartz were even like that close of friends like I don't care yeah well it was that to me the most interesting thing and Gina also don't care also like Lala like and I love her and I honestly I find the whole the most interesting part of this whole show is her and Katie's relationship she like really she said a few years ago it was 12 years ago and honestly I feel like Lala did Sheena dirty in that moment honestly I think so too but I think in that moment she had a really good friendship with Sheena and a pretty good friendship with Katie that she was trying to maintain salvage and it's like if you want to be a good friend to Katie yeah you do go take it to Katie before you go and talk to Sheena about it but I think if that were to have happened even today they obviously are in a fight her and Katie but I feel like in that moment she was didn't know like where her best friendships were going and she was just trying to like be a good friend which is the right thing friend thing to do but like Sheena's your closer friend you need to be more protective of Sheena let me ask you another question and by the way we'll talk about Dancing with the Stars because it's so funny do you feel like Sheena was actually mad at Brock for bringing up the Max thing or she was just being like uh coy no she was mad at Brock why being coy why Like, oh, we didn't want to make this a storyline.

22:59Oh, no. I think she was mad. Like, because I think she also. Don't you think they would have had a conversation about that, like, in private? I think it happened the night before. It's something that they both noticed. I don't think they expected either of them to say. But Brock saw an opportunity to, like, give Schwartz a talking point. Because, like, he's just getting, like, railed on. And it's like, actually, Katie's not perfect either. I think Sheena did not want it to come up then in that way. So uncontrolled. Like, and if ever. because I think Sheena also at this point like wants Katie and her friendship to work.

23:29Yeah, I am. No, she seems like seriously mad, big mad. But I do, by the way, I think Katie's like justified in wanting to fuck Max. Like I don't think she owes Tom anything, especially like she said, like last year while we were still being separated, I asked Tom not to fuck anyone in the group and he starts dating Raquel. Like I thought her explanation was totally justified. She's obviously vindictive and like honestly she has every right to be. But there was something else that I found to be so bizarre. The dog? By the way, does anybody else like kind of ship Lala and Schwartz? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah?

24:05Okay. I don't think they would ever work. And I'm pretty sure she said like she could eat him for breakfast, which she would and she could. But like there's something really sweet about their relationship. And crazier things have happened on this show. Like they keep cycling through. Like I wouldn't be the most surprised if that was like the next iteration. and I'm kind of obsessed even though I maintain that Schwartz and Joe need to get married have children and live happily ever after they're perfect for one another oh by the way like I think Joe is weird and whatever but like I actually felt really bad for her when Sheena like didn't stop with the braids and the hair like in the cap you're a hairdresser like shut up like who cares yeah and it just comes off like really nasty whenever it's everyone against one and they're talking about her in front of her and I'm sure like Joe has done them dirty in over the years it's just not a good look like oh the snickering and the talking like it's just yeah just don't it don't talk about her then if you don't like her Tom Sandoval going up to Ariana like about the house and I want to talk about the house but like my butthole was like clenched shut like it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire life and honestly doing that takes such balls like only a truly crazy narcissist like would have no self-awareness and like be able to do that and I loved every minute of it what is going on with the house like no it's insane the way that they're living like with the person they hate most in this world they can't even go to a party together yet every single night they sleep under the same roof just the two of them yeah in last night's episode like they got into another crazy heated thing like Tom left like Ariana was just like raging raging eviscerating him like there's nothing he can say he leaves and it's like she's gonna leave and every like and they're just gonna be together the two of them and I feel like a lot of the fandom feels like Lala's commentary about like brand deals and stuff is her being jealous and maybe there's an element of jealousy from some of the girls because it's like kind of crazy that you know Ariana who really for the most part up until recently that gave nothing to the show and like wasn't you know bleeding out like other people going through stuff is now like hosting Love Island and getting all these opportunities whereas It's like, Lala's been through stuff.

26:11I actually can understand the jealousy. I really can. Yeah. But I don't think it's coming from a place of jealousy. It's coming from a place of facts. Why? And by the way, she's like, with all the brand deals, Ariana can afford an apartment. Cut to one month ago, what did we just report? Ariana bought a house, a million dollar house. Like, back, whatever this was filmed, she was able to afford a house as well. Like, I'm confused. Of course. And Sheena said last night, I feel like they're always talking about, like, the brand deals. Like, she's fine. She's, you know, doing well. but Sheena then was saying last night like in one of her commentaries like the Tom cheating on Ariana was the best thing that ever happened to her first of all like released her from this horrible horrible person horrible person horrible relationship like so unhappy and miserable yes it made her into like a national hero as opposed to them just like breaking up and no one caring and like having to move on with your life you get all like you're winning like and Lala said that she was like you've won like look at him look at his life like you're on top it's so true no and and I think that maybe the resentment and the anger that she still holds is you know like she loved this person like I get it I get it but like taking an outside perspective you're right like Ariana went or whoever said it Sheena like Ariana went from being like a low-level cast member on a show that was dying like for real this show I wasn't even sure if I was gonna watch that season like a really like a dead show to not only being on the biggest reality show of all time but being the biggest person on that show and getting opportunities on Broadway just buying your own million dollar house dancing with the stars love island every brand deal you could ever imagine like her anger towards Tom is bringing her down because it's making her like kind of a misery it is and everyone's saying it and it's so true she needs to like release it not for him as so that he can feel comfortable around no for her like it's it's palpable and it's not a way to live Especially in a new relationship, you have this much anger towards your ex.

28:05Like how can you even enjoy what you have? And that's, I feel like what Lala was saying. I think maybe a lot of like her anger and just like misery comes, stems from her relationship with Katie, who's also holding on to all of this anger. And I have to say, I feel like Tom Schwartz's relationship with Tom Sandoval was a huge factor in Schwartz and Katie's divorce. but to blame entirely Sandoval for that divorce is unfair. Like it takes two people in a marriage to break it up, not the husband's friend. Yeah. And I think Schwartz, the way he disregarded his wife for people like Sandoval is a huge part of it.

28:42And I feel like Katie really blames Sandoval for the demise of her marriage and I don't think that's fair. No, but I think it's easy too. He's a very hateable person. Yeah. And I think that Ariana and Katie are very united in their hatred and just like being, haters at the moment yeah what's crazy is like years ago when the toms like when they were married to the toms they actually like didn't like each other they like each other and then they slowly like got on the same page and then they had to be like the wives of tom tom tom they were always together and then they saw like their husbands being stupid so that like united them further and then they were like oh you're doing a restaurant we'll do something about her and now it's just funny like it it's they're thick as thieves through like the strangest of circumstances Yeah.

29:26And wouldn't have ordinarily been the best of friends. Something about her. Like, I loved Lala being like, we've literally tried these sandwiches a year ago. They obviously had the sandwich tasting just to keep the restaurant a storyline on the show for, like, publicity. Where is the restaurant? Honestly, they kind of look like clowns for how much they clowned on Tom and Tom. And same thing you want. That place is open. Yeah. And I just want to say, Jax has a bar that he literally got open in six months. And he's always posting on Instagram that he's there. and like it's a full-fledged facility.

29:57Yeah. And the thing about something about her that they kept saying is like, you know, it's going to be smaller and we're going to be more responsible with everything. Right. And where is it? And I didn't even realize, I only realized when I was watching last night that it's in the opening credits. Yeah. And it looks great. And I'm starting to feel like if there were a reason to hold up a license, you know, like city bureaucracy that were holding it up, like they would tell everyone that. They'd be like, you guys were so excited but this, that, and this is happening. the fact that there's no communication about what's holding it up like i think bodes badly very poorly and uh i forgot who said it but lisa was right like they got a lease they've been paying rent on sun or uh west hollywood boulevard whatever that street like one of the most expensive and yeah it's small but it's a storefront store level like it's expensive you've been now paying rent for over a year with now making a dollar and they sold a little merch actually so that was something but like what in the world is going on yeah and then the other thing was the thing with the dog and also becomes like a bigger storyline in this episode like she called ariana like calls him like an attempted dog murderer oh yeah and when she said like he tried like that they're her children and that like this person like when she was talking to lala she was like those are my children and like this person like tried like didn't care if my children died it's like if that's how you feel why'd you leave them alone in the house with a sociopath well that's one point but also when she was saying I feel like that whole situation where Tom put the dog in Ariana's room and there was food on the nightstand well that's just first of all Ariana needs to clean up her room I mean Lala says in this episode like didn't you get a trash bag sponsorship like throw it away throw it away I have to say it seemed like a really really unfortunate series of events not a manslaughter like I just was like honestly whatever was going on in the house sometimes you need to put a dog in a room and this is ariana's dog and putting ariana and ariana's in the master suite putting the dog in ariana's room i didn't think was like a crazy thing to do should he have known to go look around for food honestly no either this is not a kitchen it's a room like it was just it felt like something really unfortunate not something malicious oh i agree but this is just i feel like this is ariana's anger manifesting if she just sort of like released it for herself like she wouldn't because honestly this was you always want to blame something when someone like something like this happens like i remember when theo had cancer we're like who can we blame yeah who could we blame and imagine if the person you hated most in this world was partially responsible like easy yeah of course but like in reality that's really not the case no and again like all of these things that she's like angry about or holding on to like and this negativity in her life would just be gone if she would just leave the house until you guys sort it out and the way that they're living with the boxes and oh and Anne and Anne so Ariana asked Anne for recommendations for assistance and Anne wants to be put in the running and we do know that in real life Anne does work for Ariana oh we do oh yeah I knew that did you not no because in this episode she's interviewing Anne in the kitchen Tom Sandoval comes out of the gym he's standing on the landing the staircase landing and he's hearing them and Anne saying how she like wants to work for such an amazing girl boss.

33:07And of course, Tom Sandoval - Anne would want to work for a girl boss. And then Tom Sandoval is like, then has a conversation with Anne, like saying like, I think we just need a couple of days off. Doesn't even fire her or anything. And Ariana goes and tells the group like, this, you know, attempted murderer, dog murderer is eavesdropping on my conversations. It's like, well, you live in the same house and you were having a conversation out in the open - With his employee. With his employee. Like, I'm sorry, it's absurd. No, and oh my God, wait, that's like really crazy. yeah no she and I was surprised in the episodes that I watched there were two events that she went to that he was at yeah well she has to if she wants to show and it's not fair for her to be pushed out of the show when she didn't commit this crime act of adultery so I'm with her like yeah fuck I have to go and then she gets mad at her friends who invite him and put her in this situation and I get that on a human level but on uh this is your job working we're making a show here level something's gotta give yeah yeah I don't know it's I don't know how it even could because say she releases the anger and she moves out of the house I still never want to see her speak to this person again and you have to work with how do we go forward with the show yeah well also the more I watch the more I really believe the rumor about the reunion where Lala and Ariana just have like a knockdown drag out fight because Lala's coming at this from I think a similar place as we are which is just like a little bit more at a glance you know and a little bit more sympathetic to everyone including Ariana but Ariana's not the only victim here you know like and everybody makes fun of Sheena but like I actually really the dancing with the stars thing I didn't understand but I did understand like her being sad about her friendship with Sandoval being ruined but Ariana is right about the fact that Sandoval is definitely using Sheena as like his gateway to filming and events and Tahoe because the more people who can tolerate him they don't even have to love him but the more people who Schwartz is tolerating him Sheena will tolerate him the more um stable he is in his job on the show yeah James will tolerate him and Lala will tolerate him Ariana's right and the Kushina is sort of like the weakest like she's so sweet like she's not a mean-spirited person she's yeah a little self-centered but like she loves hard you know yeah no I I agree with that it must be incredibly frustrating and I I just, these are, this is like not normal circumstances.

35:34Usually when you exit a relationship, you then just move on with your life. You don't have to then film a reality show together. But so if Ariana like really wanted zero personal ties, like she would have to leave the show. And why should she? She shouldn't. No, but Sandoval's not leaving. So we need to, now we're in the place in the show where we need a resolution. I think that's how everyone feels. And I keep like putting them. It's frustrating. Now every episode, they're trying to put them in the same room and get there. And like last night, it was so bad. Like it was. Oh, I can't wait. a barrage love it was oh my god like seriously uncomfortable like seriously I just like wish Ariana had this energy when she was dating Sandoval because somebody desperately needed to put him in his place he acted worse with Ariana than he does without now he's kind of on this apology honestly nothing he's doing is bothering me before he was a monster with Stassi remember and that book event he was horrible and she just kind of sat there and like let him act that way no and I said this a few weeks ago but I keep thinking about it a few weeks ago I accidentally watched an episode from last season and I watched a few minutes before I realized I was watching the wrong episode because it was Katie and Ariana in something about her talking about how Lala told Ariana that Sandoval didn't leave the barbecue when he had a ride and he lied about that when she was dealing with her dog and her grandma and he stayed there with Raquel and Ariana was saying to Katie like I don't want to hear these things like like like she was mad at Lala for even telling her like no no she was so unreasonable and she was kind of the vote when she was like up Sandoval's ass like never told him that's what a good partner does like you tell your partner in private like when they're being wrong and encourage them to like do whatever she was just like awful and like not enabled but just did nothing and so now it's like yeah you know what we've been knowing and it's like frustrating because now we're over it like and now he's been handed his justice beyond like I I feel fine he's been punished I don't think a person who's cheated has ever been punished in such a way no but he was punished for like that but also in my mind for like the years and years of atrocious behavior agreed like he was knocked down 1000 pegs yeah no he's like the biggest weenie I don't even know how like anybody could look at him and honestly not feel sorry for him he has his weenie parties oh wait I'm so glad you brought that up that pool party with Billy Lee and her friend and then those two girls from Instagram like and he's like telling them the story is there any way anyone in Los Angeles doesn't know who Tom and Ariana are and what happened between them not even that like not to be so mean but like the whole it was giving like where did you find these freaks like it was just

38:09it was a circus like I didn't even know who these people were like and everyone was just like acting crazy and like taking shots and I was like okay stop like stop stop also he was flirting oh i was in pain it's really painful like when you think about like his like romantic aspect of his life it's like he's heartbroken over raquel who yeah loves and like she is disappeared and no no it's so crazy this whole thing and he's trying to flirt in the pool and he's saying like yeah i'm murdering my ex-girlfriend in the bedroom upstairs i crushed potato chips and put them onto the door oh yeah painful seriously painful okay well jackson britney are still and by the way i've heard the valley is very good i'm not gonna watch it like half of the first episode i got the gist and i feel like you would like it it's like people who are in like your stage of life i know i didn't love like any of the characters yet yeah i mean besides jacks Brittany and Kristen like I'm really not interested in meeting new people but it was I need to go back to it and remind myself why I didn't finish watching it because there was a reason because I do like yeah I love like seeing new mamas like you know got baby here give her like I love like that's so interesting to me and there were new cast members who looked like interesting people with like things going on the just the dialogue was giving cringe and it was like we're excited to be on a reality show and it was giving like old school reality show where were just like saying stuff because hey we're on a reality show and I'm excited I know it's giving like charity in Dallas and I'm wanting it to work out I feel they were talking like that yeah that was really the issue but they have to hide in their feet and I can't yeah it's hard not every show can be Vanderpump rules like no are you ready for our next story which is one of my favorite stories yes unintentional comedian Kelly Ripa is being hysterical today because they aired a rerun of her show today because I guess there wasn't a new episode and no one like double checked what the episode was and in the episode it's from June 2023 she is like begging for an invitation to be on Diddy's yacht.

40:29I didn't know what you were gonna say like if they reran the one after like 9-11 I literally didn't know what you were gonna say. No no so Kelly and Mark are on vacation this week they've been re-airing old interviews from live with Kelly and Mark but it seems someone wasn't paying attention when they picked out the videotapes because on Tuesday they aired an episode from June 23 in which she fawningly begged for an invitation on Sean Diddy Combs's yacht. Meanwhile his homes were raided last week as part of what appears to be a sex trafficking investigation. Oops. Wait I also think it's kind of crazy like by the way Kelly and Mark like take a vacation for sure that they rerun episodes.

41:04It's a topical show. She does like kind of what we do at the top of the show talking about what's going on in the world news pop culture celebrities like light stuff and then there's like a guest interview but it's like not the type of show you can re-air we've never re-aired an episode of the toast like that's weird especially not from a year and a half ago like maybe air from last week yeah yeah that's like really like bad programming like care less what else should they do though if they are taking the week off guest co-host well yeah that's really hard to program too if you don't have one person who's used to doing it that would be like if we took off and two people just sat in their chairs no but like if we had not us like if she had ryan come for a week yeah and ryan had different co-hosts or michael if she didn't leave it so bad with michael strahan like if you had like friends of and i feel like jerry o 'connell comes on all the time to like replace mark or someone someone comes on as like when mark is sick or when kelly's sick i think they had one of their kids like they have friends of the show who could come in with different co-hosts like i don't know i feel like they should be trying harder for their audience i think this is standard stuff and we never would have even known if it wasn't just for this which is so unfortunate i did not know that they re-ran topical you know shows i don't feel like they ever re-ran an episode of wendy with the with her stories that's so crazy that's like so lazy on behalf of cable like do better well not to hit them with the do better no do better like seriously jackie if we took a vacation on our show was owned by abc we would literally be like and we had unlimited resources, we'd be like, let's get Stassi and, you know, Taylor Strucker, pay them.

42:36Yeah. Yeah. And that being said, ABC, we are available for purchase. Merger and acquisition? I'm down. If you could, okay, great question. If you could have any media company, whether it be a streamer, a network, whatever, purchase the toast and like be the, like we get to still do the show every day, but then we have access to whatever, you know. Like probably NBC is the most, but you know, Disney, ABC, Hulu. I'm down. Like if we could have our show live on something. Like we are exclusive let's say to YouTube. Or we are on the YouTube homepage every day. Or we're on the Netflix. Where would you want to be?

43:09Like any network, streamer, or social media platform.

43:16Like if we were the official daily morning show of. I know people would like think we're going to say Bravo or E. But that's small thinking. No. And every show on EFLOPs. No it's just small potatoes. I want to be worldwide nationwide. Yeah. Where is everyone right now? Honestly, everyone's at max right now. Max is having a moment. Every streamer has like a different moment. It would be Max and Estas? And by the way, the show would be like the morning max. Max and Estas, yeah. I think max. That's almost what I was going to say. But also, I wouldn't mind being a part of like an Apple or a Roku or Prime because then they put you on everyone's sticks.

43:58Devices, yeah. Devices. No, that's good. Honestly, I would take a Netflix. Ever heard of it? Of course, of course, of course. And they are getting into live programming. Hulu. X does a lot of live, like, long-form videos now. I don't want to be on X. You don't want to be there? No one really watches it. It's just like, I don't know. That's not true. I don't think we'd have, we wouldn't have an engaged community on X. I don't think that's true, but I think you want, like, a piece of that, you know Hollywood Hollywood for sure yeah what about TikTok is there set up for that no no but we would reach the kids which would be nice because they need to be spoken to they do but like is it our job no it's not and I also feel like just part of being a kid is just like being radical you know that's true like you like I always worry about Gen Z like I see these stats like they're so anti-Semitic like they're insane but sometimes I just want to chalk it up to them being young and dumb.

44:57Like that's like Woodstock. You know, all those 16 year olds were taking dumps out in the open and like doing Molly and Acid. And then a few years later, like they all got jobs and most of them came back down to earth. So I feel like, I don't know. I like to think like these young, crazy, really dumb kids are just radicalized and they'll come back down to earth. But I feel like to a degree, yes. Like when you are young, you don't, you think you know everything and you don't that's a classic trope but are we getting to a place where it's like more than just the classic trope like it's giving it's definitely a lot our youth it's a lot it's a lot yeah it feels more than usual but I hope I like your interpretation of things yeah and just an idea any further thoughts I mean I did but like I don't want to get into it I feel that.

45:49I'm exhausted. Yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Like, exciting news on a number of levels. Yeah. Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's lookalike kids, Harlow and Sparrow, make their red carpet debut at the premiere of Don't Tell Mom, The Babysitter's Dead last night in Los Angeles. So, of course, I had to do a little digging. What is this? They've remade the movie. Nicole Richie is playing Rose. I'm right on top of that Rose. I'm right on top of that Rose. Oh, wait. So who's playing Christina Applegate? Who's playing Christina Applegate is Simone Joy Jones. I don't know who that is. Hold on.

46:28What a great movie. That movie like raised us. And. I'm right on top of that, Rose. The poster for the movie, the tagline. Let me know when you're ready for it. Yeah. Respect your elders. You're lying. Wait, I also want to see what Nicole Richie's kids look like. I feel like she doesn't really show them. They look like Nicole Richie and her husband. really i mean i would hope it's crazy when that happens but it's really cute they're literally oh man the girl is gorgeous they're mini me's the girl is gorgeous and the guy is literally like a in simple plan no like if they ever wanted to make a movie about their life and like their well i guess they would be brother and sister playing never mind i take back what i can't oh and lionel went to the premiere so did so yeah love oh how did so feel like i don't think she you off the carpet oh I'm obsessed I love Nicole Richie's one of my absolute favorite celebrities on the planet yeah no I know and so this is very exciting like we love the movie don't tell mom the babysitter's dead and I'm so glad they're remaking it for the younger set but like if you haven't seen it I think you should watch the original first yeah you should not to sound like such a grandma it's Christina Applegate who else is in that movie who's the mom let me see

47:48i'm obsessed here 1991 sue ellen i'm obsessed sue ellen is christina applegate's character's name and who else is in this movie nobody i know let me see john yeah you don't know anyone oh david de covney he's literally in everything but that's really it it's so good i'm so excited i wonder where we could watch it i think i just when i was looking at the background it's bet exciting only in theaters april 12th oh and it's in theaters but the the backdrop said bet yeah it bet's original films in product in tyra binks's production company smize productions our executive producer you're that it's called smize production she's so iconic so iconic this is just tens across the board agreed that's exciting i loved that movie yeah our next story lizzo is breaking her silence to clarify that she's only quitting negative energy moving forward so lizzo said she quit last week people were like she quit and some people were like no i think she's just like a figure of speech that she's like done with this shit and that's exactly what it was so she shared a lengthy statement on Instagram and a video saying I want to make this video because I just need to clarify when I say I quit I mean I quit getting giving any negative energy attention what I'm not going to quit is the joy of my life which is making music which is connecting with people because I know I'm not alone in no way shape or form am I the only person who is experiencing that negative voice that seems to be louder than the positive and then if I can just give one person inspiration blah blah blah yeah yeah of course of course I believe her that she didn't mean she was quitting music and that she's just like I quit I get it um but for somebody who's like quitting negative and toxicity like she keeps making content about it like I seriously like she needs to take a break like she's just in she was really really famous for a really long time and like as always like ability is a prison and yada yada and then she was accused of some pretty heinous things so people we just need a break from you and she doesn't go away like she keeps posting and she's trying to like illicit sympathy I think and it's just not working so just I feel like it's always good for celebrities to take a break but she like won't or she's taking a break I feel like she might be just like scaling back but not gone because I think it would also be like kind of an admission of guilt to go and she's maintaining her innocence that these people like she said in the last statement piss or saying things about her so i think she kind of needs to like stay making content while also like staying positive and i don't think it's going so well yet but i think maybe like starting today it's gonna be good okay i think that i quit through everyone through a loop not me though not me i knew she was quitting negative energy and haters i just knew it yeah it's like a child I quit.

50:43I had just seen the news headlines before I saw her statement. So everybody said Lizzo quits music. I'm like, okay, Lizzo's quitting music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you got to go to the primary source club. This is what they teach us in a history major. I learned, like, that's what I've got out of my education. And that's what we were talking about yesterday, reading comprehension. And also reading between the lines. Harder, but important. Harder, but important. Because she did say, I quit. She did. but there was more there there yeah are you ready for our fifth and final story our fifth and final story was some news that was quiet that i think they'll be mad that we're blowing up but j-lo quietly rebranded her tour as a greatest hit show amid week ticket sales after canceling seven dates of her first north american tour in five years in week ticket sales j-lo has renamed it to apparently broaden its scope changing it from the this is me now to this is me live the greatest hits so I don't know if prior to this she was planning on playing the greatest hits or if this was going to be a new album tour it's giving it it was going to be and now it's not or maybe it was going to be and they didn't put it in the title and they thought people wouldn't know I can't imagine JLo would go on tour and not spend at least half the show playing her greatest hits yeah I think she would have played a lot of hits I think she also would have been marketing the new album I think now there will be more hits and less albums still album we're still gonna this is me now but like generally majority hits like I really feel this is a very good step I've been following you know the rise and fall of JLo over the last couple of months very very closely I think it's one of the most interesting things I just don't know why I find it so intriguing and I happen to think this is a brilliant next step and it you know gives me hope that whatever direction her career is going to go next is more to this icon level I don't know why she's still doing the same thing like Ariana Grande is doing you know who has way less experience in her J-Lo's been around forever like she should not be doing the same sort of prototype as like you know releasing an album press tour uh arena tour like the same cycle like the one direction cycle like what are you doing you're not in the same strategy get off the ride differently get off the roller coaster like you are different and you're very much, I feel like, in the Celine Dion realm, which is an equally good realm to be in.

53:06Now, you don't have to go to Vegas and do like a boring residency, but you do have to act different. And so the fact that they're now branding this as Greatest Hits does give me hope that they're seeing her career, whoever's running her, but I feel like it's actually her, but whether it's her management, they're seeing her now as in this different category, not retirement, but icon. That's a better. Yeah. that works for me all of a sudden this concert sounds good like we're gonna hear the j-lo hits right and j-lo's known for being such a performer the fact that her performances were not selling well when i think that's probably her biggest strength as in uh talent strength and and um allure yeah it's very concerning so i would like if i might i wouldn't buy a ticket but if somebody said want to see j-lo here's a ticket i'd say honestly yeah i know most of the songs if it's the greatest hits tour and she's a fabulous performer the dancing the singing everything razzle dazzle the hair the clothes like she knows how to perform yeah this is sort of like a an issue with con like touring albums it's like i want to hear like general things like what if it's not my favorite album and i didn't get to see you on the last album tour but i'm seeing that's why the errors tour is really great like it doesn't matter what i feel like it's also very very artist dependent because like I think of because the next concert I'm going to see is Morgan Wallen and I didn't go last time but he did a big big like I had my chance he did a big ass tour for his last album and his last album was enormously popular this time after doing like the most with the previous album he's now doing the most again with the new album and you know what I feel like that's fair but it just depends on the artist like if your most recent album was a flop but you have like tons and tons of hits like do both for sure but I just think of like Luke Combs like I absolutely need to hear this album live and if I don't make it on this tour like I will have missed my chance and yeah the next tour like he'll play some of this but I need this album yeah yeah so I guess I'm going to Jacksonville Jackson Turdy in Jacksonville I'm down jackson turdyville yeah no like that's i guess what i need to do because his tour just he said he's like he really didn't consider me honestly and it's fucking rude but by the way back to what you were saying it's completely artist dependent and album dependent yeah but you feel that way about tailored before eras like you didn't get to see the red tour and like how badly you want to see the red tour it's just a necessary evil like it just is what it is but but maybe Eris Tour is like really shaking up the industry like people are seeing like oh oh you know like maybe I can do this like yeah but I also think maybe some people don't want to work that hard it's a lot of work what she's doing by the way do you think they even remember all the lyrics to all their old songs that's like some artists talk about how they don't Joe Jonas talks very openly that even recent songs like he cannot remember the lyrics and I know Miley a lot of times has a um teleprompter you actually you know lyrics and memorize them really well but you I could see you being the sort of person like if you were a pop star like yeah no I wrote my song but I don't remember the lyrics okay sue me okay when I was in St.

56:20Bart's um we got back to the house and like we were drunk and we were like making snacks and somebody put on music and 100 % came on and like I literally didn't know the words to the second verse but I was also really drunk I feel like that's a part of the era story like the whole thing is so impressive but that's like on the list of impressive things that I don't think she gets enough credit for and her lyrics are so airing sure kit and especially i'm going down i'm yelling timber don't disgrace that song it's the best song ever also by the way it's even more impressive when you think about the fact that she'll literally go on the acoustic set and play a song from 17 years ago that's the most deep cut that she's probably never even played live she probably released it and never played it again cold as you i think she has such a good memory and that's probably why she has a hard time letting things go because like they're so seared into her memory you know what what the lord giveth the lord taketh away it's a blessing and a curse yeah like she remembers it like it was yesterday because her memory is so strong that reminds me of dana yeah and i also think um she's a person of high intellect and i think memory has like is a part of that you know even though they say people with bad memories are high intellect but maybe that was just like something they told you guys me searching for a headline that related to me.