Trump Makes Delusional Strait of Hormuz Threat | with Will Forte, Ariana Madix, Mike Tomlin, Dan White | Monday, August 17

0:05From Studio 6P in Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight News starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight joins Jimmy and his guests Will Forte, Ariana Madix, Mike Tomlin and featuring the legendary Ruth Curry. Two, three, three, it's two. And now, here he is, Jimmy Fallon!

0:36Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, man, that's right. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you for being here.

0:56Yeah. Come on. Yeah! Thank you very much! I appreciate it. Thanks. Enjoy yourself, everybody. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show! This is it. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Let's get to some news. Guys, over the weekend, President Trump made a campaign stop in Long Island, and Melania Trump did not travel with him. Ooh. Yeah, people have noticed that she's been laying low. In fact, she hasn't been seen in public for 29 days. Trump heard and was like, big deal. I haven't seen her in private for two years.

1:37Public. I understand Melania is taking a step back with everything going on. She's worried that at any moment, she could be trapped with Trump inside her catering truck. You never know. Yep, no one has seen Melania. All I know is that it's going to be crazy when we find out she ran off with Mitch McConnell. That's all I got. That's going to be... Well, get this. Trump is now blaming vandals for large areas of damaged grass in the National Mall, right where he held a rally on the Fourth of July. These are tough times for Trump. The grass is brown, the reflecting pool is green, and the bruise on his hand is blue.

2:12So it's a lot of... But don't worry. Trump has a plan. he's going to let the healthy grass grow long and then rake it over to the bear spot. Just to cover it. You just... You comb it right over. You don't even notice it. Well, after months of setbacks with Iran, Trump now says he's going to declare the Strait of Hormuz a U.S. territory. Yeah, a lot of people are saying that plan makes no sense, but luckily, Trump's come up with so many other plans to take over the Strait that it's bizarre. I mean, check out this one. First, tell Iran we're ready to be friends. Then, send them a nice care package.

2:50Finally, they open it to find a bunch of Taylor Farms lettuce. I win. Yay! I don't think it's going to work.

3:00Here's another plan. Classified plan 658. First, we tell Iran they can have the straight. Then, I sneak into Iran in an airport catering truck. Finally, I hit Iran with an Uno reverse card in the straightest hours. I win. Yay! These are... These are bizarre. I'm not sure about that. Here's one more. Last one. Classified plan 238. First, we tell Iran we'll split custody of the strait. Then, they refuse. Finally, I dress up like Mr. Doubtfire and visit the strait every day. I win, dearie. Yay! That's too low. Interesting. All right. Well, this is wild. Alaska's primary election is tomorrow, and in the race for governor, there are 17 candidates on the ballot.

3:42here now by phone to share their visions for the state are all 17 candidates. Yep, this is obviously a crowded race. Have you found it difficult to stand out?

3:57One at a time. One at a time, please. In your opinion, what is the most important issue facing Alaskans? That's why it should be legal to date a moose. I'm sorry. At the end there, it sounded like someone said something about dating a moose, but I probably just misheard. Whoever said that, do you want to clarify? Okay. Next question. Do you think ranked-choice voting favors Democrats, since Republicans might split the vote? Well, obviously, I... ...from my car, and I locked eyes with the moose, and it was love at first, son. Again, please don't answer all at once, but at that time, I definitely heard someone say, describing the moment they fell in love with a moose?

4:44Who said that? Okay. Fair enough, but I would just say if everyone's speaking at once and your answer is an embarrassing secret, you could just speak earlier, or not at all. Yeah, okay. Okay, great. Now, this time, I'm going to mute all of the lines but one, and that one person can answer, okay? Here's my question. What is your position on new oil drilling projects?

5:12Hello? I wear fake antlers on my head to help her get in the mood. Oh, yeah, that was a mistake. All 70 candidates for governor of Alaska, everybody. I can't... Well, some business news. I saw that Lowe's challenged Home Depot's giant skeleton decoration by unveiling their own massive headless skeleton. Can we see it? Ooh. Yeah, Lowe's and Home Depot are competing. Meanwhile, Ace Hardware is like, we got real skeletons working the register. It's been dead since 1972. Well, listen to this. I read that some Waffle House locations are now selling tacos. I like it. Now when people are drunk at 2 a.m., instead of throwing punches, they'll be slapping each other with tortillas.

6:00Yep, Waffle House tacos. I think we know where the next parasite outbreak will come from. Well, guys, the NFL season kicks off in just a few weeks, and this weekend a lot of teams played their first preseason games. These games don't count, so it can be hard to get the fans fired up. Luckily, the Kansas City Chiefs have a secret weapon. Check out this promo they were running. The Chiefs are back, and they're entering a whole new era. They're taking on the Rams, and they're bringing a very special guest. Someone Travis knows all too well. Who's got bad blood with the Rams and wants to kick this cruel summer to the curb?

6:36That's right, it's Chiefs tight ends coach Tom Melvin. Don't miss it. I thought it was going to be Taylor.

6:45And finally, a woman broke a world record by running 100 miles on a treadmill in 12 hours. Ooh. She also broke the record for most noise complaints filed by a downstairs neighbor. We have a great show. Give it up for The Roots, everybody.

7:08Hey! Welcome to the show, everybody. Be sure to tune in all week long. We got some great shows coming up. Michelle Pfeiffer is going to be here. Fred Armisen joining us. Tomorrow night, we got a show you don't want to miss. Michael Strahan will be here. Chase Stokes from Outer Banks will be here. And we got some great music. I'm very excited about this. Making their first late-night TV performance in 35 years. The Stray Cats will be here tomorrow night. I'm so excited. I love the straight line. But first, what a show we have for you tonight. He stars in the highly anticipated new movie Coyote vs.

7:44Acme. Right now, it's at 95 % on Rotten Tomatoes. It is a fantastic movie. It's so fun. It's in theaters August 28th. The very funny Will Forte is here! Oh, come on! Come on. Oh, well. She is the host of Love Island, USA. The season 8 reunion special airs August 31st at 9 p.m. on Peacock. Ariana Maddox is joining us. Yes! Love Island, fam. Plus, he coached the Pittsburgh Steelers to win 19 winning seasons. 19 winning seasons and a Super Bowl victory. You can now see him every week on Football Night in America, which kicks off September 9th right here on NBC and Peacock. Mike Tomlin is here tonight.

8:30We'll be right back with Will Forte, everybody. Come on back.

8:37As we continue on...

8:46Our first guest is a very funny man who stars in the highly anticipated new movie Coyote vs. Acme, which hits theaters August 28th. Please welcome Will Forte!

9:05I love you so much. I can't wait to get into everything. I want to talk about Coyote vs. Acme, your new movie. I want to talk about... Congrats on Four Seasons. You were fantastic in that show. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. I love you in that show. You were fantastic. How's Mom, by the way? How's Patty Forte? Mom is doing great. She still talks about seeing you down in Malibu. She... Yeah, I saw her at the post office. Yeah, just like a surprise run-in. It was the greatest ever. We called you. Yeah, because she loves you so much. She's very funny. She's so funny, and we are making a show with her in it.

9:39What are you talking about? It is a comedy show starring my mom. Yes, finally! And her friend Carol. Yeah, so... Her friend Carol as well? Her friend Carol. They're both 83. 83 years old. How did you come up on this? So, when I was at SNL, my mom and Carol used to call up all the time with these crazy comedy ideas, And, you know, they would always be pretty far off the mark. So I would say, why don't we save it for the Patty Forte sketch show? And then after saying that enough, it was like, I got to do the Patty Forte sketch show. So we took her and Carol, and the show is all just, like, kind of documentary style, following them, trying to write a comedy sketch.

10:23And then the end of each show is that sketch that they've written, starring them and, like, one of my fun, exciting comedy buddies. Now, they've never done... They have no background in sketch. Zero background. They are... It's like... Yes, zero background. That's what makes it fresh. It's a documentary style. You follow them around. I can't wait to see that. Yes. Let's talk about Coyote vs. Acme. The reviews are outstanding. It is at 95 % right now on Rotten Tomatoes. Congratulations. Thank you very much. I actually... I brought you a gift. What? Don't get thrown, because they're used. They are washed, but, yeah, these are my socks.

11:05They're Wile E. Coyote socks in Roadrunner. Come on, bud. And I thought they... You are the coolest. You don't have to bring me a gift. No, they're yours. They're very soft. I've worn them a bunch. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate this. I love the premise of this movie. It's so great. It is... It's a live-action slash animation hybrid, kind of like in the style of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's so well done. It looks beautiful. Yeah, it's Wile E. Coyote, um, is fed up with, you know, he's been using all these, uh, Acme products for years that have malfunctioned and just caused him great bodily harm, and so he wants to sue the Acme Corporation.

11:48So he comes to me. Like the jet propulsion roller skates to try to catch the Roadrunner. Yeah. Explode, and then he ends up... He has a magnet glove that ends up getting stuck to a missile that gets launched. Oh, yeah. He blows up, turns into ash. His eyeballs fall down. Yeah, so he's like, enough is enough. He doesn't talk at all. He carries signs. Yes, he has signs. But he's... Enough is enough. I'm suing the Acme Corporation. He comes to me, kind of a small-time lawyer. I don't know why he comes to me. And we take on the Acme Corporation and the powerful legal team that they have, led by John Cena.

12:21Oh, my gosh. John Cena. John Cena is so funny in this as well. So good. So good. It's you and John Cena and all the Looney Tunes characters, but can you explain, the movie was supposed to come out in, like, 2024 or something? Or when did you film this? It's been a long journey. We completed the movie, and it was testing really, really well. And then, at a certain point, we got a call from Warner Brothers that they had a new idea for the release of the movie, which was to not release it in theaters or not release it on streaming, but to release it into a garbage can. And it was like, that's our new release plan.

13:03And we're like, oh. It's never been done. Okay, yeah, I've never... Well, okay. So anyway, we got to see the movie a week later. And so they called it a funeral screening. And I go into this thing thinking, like, this thing's gotta suck. Yeah, it's gonna be bad. It's got to suck if you're... If that's the decision you make, how... It's got to suck. And I went in there, and it's so good. It's really great. It is so special, which was so frustrating and confusing and heartbreaking. Like, this is a movie that I was watching, and I'm like, I want to share this with my kids so bad, and I'm not going to be able to.

13:40And it was... It just made no sense. And then I got angry for a long time, and then I just had to let it go. So it's like, I can't... Nothing I do is gonna make any difference. I just have to move on. I can't even imagine this happening in real life. Yeah. Because it's like, so many... So many years goes into making a film. It's crazy. Editing and directing. The writing is really clever, too, by the way. Shout out to the writer. Sammy Birch. Sammy Birch. She's amazing. Oscar nominated. But very well delivered lines by you, Will Forte. Well done, bud. And 95 on Rotten Tomatoes. It's a sweet movie.

14:12Lana Condor is in it, who I love as well. It's fun. the whole family can enjoy it and laugh and get together, and it's going to crush. Congratulations on this. And thanks for... Thank you very much. ...everybody out there for not giving up on this film and for making it... It is because of the people who made so much noise that the on-screen story of underdogs fighting these corporations became the off-screen story, too. A bunch of people made a bunch of noise, rose up against this corporation, and they won. So... Come on! Will Forte, everybody! Coyote vs. Acme is in theaters next Friday. We'll be right back with more Tonight Show.

14:51Stick around, everybody.

15:04Our next guest is a New York Times best-selling author and the Emmy-nominated host of Love Island, USA. The season 8 reunion special airs August 31st at 9 p.m. on Peacock. Please welcome Ariana Maddox!

15:29Welcome back to the show. It's so nice to see you. We have some exciting news that was announced this morning. You're coming back to Broadway. You're going to be in Just In Time. Yes, I am. I'm so excited. When is this happening? September 12th? Yes, that's my first show, September 12th. You're playing Connie Francis in Just In Time. Ariana, congratulations on this. Thank you! I'm so thrilled. I've been listening to Connie Francis' music since I was a kid. You know, that's the kind of songs that my dad would play on the piano and stuff. So I'm thrilled to come into the show. But also, exciting year.

16:02You got nominated for an Emmy for hosting Love Island. What the heck? Come on, bud! This is a good year! It's a great year! Yeah, it's a great year. What did your family say when they found out? Oh, my gosh. It was so cool getting to talk to my mom. So my mom and I have a lot of little inside things, and one of them is that she calls me her awesome girl. And so, yeah, she, like, she said that to me. You know, she was like, I'm so happy for you, my awesome girl, and it brought me back to being a kid. And she's coming with me to the Emmys, so... Oh, see? Come on! Yeah. It'll be so nice to do that with her.

16:34Your awesome girl did very, very well. Let's talk about Love Island, USA. It is a thing. Yes. Oh, wait, before we talk about Love Island... Oh. ...because every bombshell needs their water bottle. Are you kidding me? You're officially a bombshell. What, are you kidding me? Oh, my gosh. The water bottle? Yeah, a hot new bombshell has entered the villa. Oh, my God!

16:59Oh, I'm honored. Sorry it's empty. I love this. No, oh, my God, are you kidding me? Thank you so much for this. Oh, my God, yeah, it's official. The biggest phenomenon, do you know how big it is while you're doing it? Because you're in the middle of Fiji, you're filming. Yeah, no, it's crazy because we're on the other side of the world, especially season six, you know, when it really started to blow up. On my algorithm, our team's algorithm, you know, it feels we're across, halfway across the world. We're doing almost what feels like a group project. You know, where we're making the best show we can.

17:30We're having a blast doing it. We're all talking about you. But we don't see that. We think it's just our algorithm. Like, it just... It knows that we're talking about Love Island, so it just keeps feeding us the memes of the TikTok. When do you even get a chance to see the episode? Do you see them? I don't get Peacock in Fiji, so I have to watch, like, a secret link. I think you can. So they send you... The producers send you, like, footage and go, you have to watch this before you go into the film. Yeah, I watch a secret link. Usually, it's the finished episode, but sometimes, like, let's say I'm doing After Sun or something, it's just clips.

18:01And I have to know what's going on, because things happen so fast. I come in. people will be coupled, they're really happy together. And then if I don't know what's going on, I feel like Donald Glover and community and walking with the pizzas and the room's on fire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole place is on fire. That's kind of what you're doing. That's what it feels like. You have to know. Yeah, because otherwise, who knows? I'd be like, congrats, guys. And they're like, we hate each other. Yeah, exactly. People, there's memes of you going every other day. Your reactions are so fun. This is your reaction to the, I'm TT.

18:39Which became a big thing. Oh, my God. Yeah. That felt like home, you know? That moment. It felt like I was back at home on Bravo or something. It was great. You knew how to do it. I love it. They were killing it that night. You also have this, you're known for your slow-mo entrances. Yes. Yeah. When you walk into the villa, people recreate them on social media. And I was thinking, do you think about what you're going to do in those slow-mo moves? Like, sometimes it's a come here, sometimes it's a shush. Yeah, we got a shush, we got a little wave. A little wave is good. A wink. But winks are scary on slow-mo.

19:13Are you a winker in general? Do you wink? I'm not a big-ish. I'm not a good winker. I look like I dream of Jeannie. That's how we blink out. Have you ever tried to do the slow-mo walk? I would not be... I could show... You got it. We should do it. You want to do it? Come on, let's do it. Here, we'll start here. I stand there. Yeah. We walk this way. You got to saunter. You got to really put your hips into it. Yeah, and then you look back. And then you give a look back. Oh, you look back. And what do you do when you look back? You look at it, you go... Well, you got to really sell it. All right, here, we'll do it.

19:50No, you go in front of me. Okay, so we'll go like this. Okay, really give it. We're going to saunter. Saunter. Yes, saunter. And then give him a look back.

20:02And then whip it around and keep on going. All right, that's it right there. Did we do it? You killed it! Was that right? Ariana Maddox, everybody! Season 8 of Love Isle of USA is streaming now. The reunion special airs August 31st at 9 p.m. on Peacock. More tonight's show after the break, Steve.

20:32I'm going to sign Robbie O 'Grabbe. Our next guest is a Super Bowl champion who coached the Pittsburgh Steelers for 19 consecutive winning seasons. Now you can see him every week during Football Night in America, which kicks off September 9th, right here on NBC and Peacock. Please welcome Mike Tomlin!

20:57Take it, that's right. All right. Mike Tomlin. Welcome to The Tonight Show. I'm happy that you're here. I'm honored that you're here. Let me get comfortable, man. This is unbelievable. This is crazy. The legendary Roots crew. The Roots crew right there. Man, much respect. It's awesome. Does it feel like you thought The Tonight Show would feel? I don't know that I grew up thinking about sitting in this chair, brother. You know? Like, I lived an athletic life. This wasn't on my bucket list. But I'm glad to be here. Yeah, I agree. I know. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It's awesome. But you said that your grandma used to let you watch The Tonight Show when you were a kid?

21:36It is signal bedtime, you know? Yes. When I heard that Johnny Carson theme music, you know, I'd be like, let me see the monologue. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Just watch a little bit of it. My grandmother was an avid watcher, so I know she's smiling at me right now. Oh, that's what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? Come on. Yeah. We're smiling right back at her. Earlier this year, you ended your historic run as the head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. You won a Super Bowl championship. You've never had a losing season, ever. What is... You're one of the most respected coaches in the game.

22:12What does it take to make a great football team? You know, I just always try to keep perspective. Like, football is our game, but I'm in the winning business. You know? And so I tried to find as many ways to live that. Forget saying it, living that, like with the guys and just appreciating the process, the journey, the relationships. As a leader, for me, listening was a major component of being successful from my perspective. Like, I had to have a pulse of the people that I work with and how do you do it other than locking in legitimately and listening. There's a thing online that people talk about called Tomlinisms.

22:57It's you saying these quotes And they just end up being Legendary and they kind of break the internet I just want to show a few of them right here That have gone viral Mike what is your reaction to potentially playing 13 straight weeks and how tough Will that be physically We do not care Don't blink if you'll blink or cut your eyelids off Never say never but never Okay Mike you have a year Bless every contract.

23:29Thank you. You're blessed. You're blessed. No, no, no, no, no! That's what I'm like! You just straight-up left mid-question. Why did you choose to do that? Because whatever came out of my mouth next was gonna get me fined. So you're like, I'll see you later. They might find me less if I walk out. That's so smart. I thought it'd be kind of fun if, since you had so many one-liners, I'd like to read you three and maybe explain to me what they mean. Okay. Is that all right? All right. This is a Mike Tomlin phrase. It is a fine line between drinking wine and squashing grapes. It is. It is. It is, yeah.

24:16This one says, I can't give you all the ingredients to the hot dog. You might not like it. Hey, have you guys ever read the ingredients of the hot dog? Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just enjoy the hot dog. You know, we're in the entertainment business, and, you know, it's about access these days. Yeah. And sometimes all access isn't great access, you know? How about this? We're still squirreling those nuts.

24:46Sometimes you got a good idea, and it's good to squirrel it away for later. Like, if you don't need it that week, there's going to be a week that you need it. Yeah, so just squirrel them away. So we'll squirrel that nut. We're still squirreling that nut. When you're going into this now as an analyst, are you excited about what's happening with Football Night in America? Everyone's watching. I am. I am. It's been a while since I've been a novice. And, like, I got a little anxiety. I'm nervous. I like that. And that feels good. The butterflies. Yeah, yeah. You know how to do the other thing. That performance anxiety?

25:24Yeah. I feel good about it. I feel good about it. You do? I think you're going to be fantastic. Thank you so much for coming on the show. My brother. Thank you. You make grandma proud. Mike Tomlin, everybody! Football Night in America returns Wednesday, September 9th on NBC and Peacock.

25:55My thanks to Will Forte, Ariana Maddox, Mike Tomlin. Great job, buddy. And the Ruth right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody.

26:30Thanks for listening to The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.