Trump Stalls on Iran Peace Talks | with Fred Armisen, Michelle Monaghan, Rivers Cuomo & Patrick Wilson | Wednesday, August 19

0:05From Studio 6B and Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City, it's the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Tonight's going to give me the guest Fred Armisen, Michelle Monaghan, Rivers Cuomo and Patrick Wilson and featuring the legendary Ruth Cruz. 23, 34! And now, here he is! Jimmy Fallon! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Oh, yeah! Hey, hey, hey! Oh, yeah, looking good. That's nice. That's nice. Thank you, man. Come on, that's what I'm talking about. That's it! Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself, everybody. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show.

1:05This is it. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Well, guys, today, President Trump announced that later this year, he expects to meet with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un for the first time since 2019. Man, you know you're depressed when you're texting an old hookup from seven years ago. You know? That's all right. What do you do? You want to hang out? You what? Yeah, Trump and Kim could meet in November. It all really depends on how their couple's Halloween costume goes. So, I'm tipsy, guacamole, and... Here's a photo from the last time Trump met with Kim Jong-un. Yeah. I think it's cute how their bellies bump like the tooth.

1:51Soon-to-be moms at Lamaze class. Meanwhile, the big news this week is that Trump said that he's no longer talking to Iran. Ooh. After months of negotiations, he now says that they're not speaking. Just check out what happened on his last call with the Ayatollah. This is right.

2:13I'm not gonna talk first. Nobody's better at not talking than me. You're probably about to crack, but I'm going strong. I could not talk all day. I'm just like a monk. A loser says what? I said, a loser says what? What? Damn it. I got myself. Wow, you're not saying a word. It's like talking to Mitch McConnell. I can't take it anymore. Fine, you can have the Strait of Hormuz. And the Gulf of America. And my ballroom helipad and J.D. Vance. Oh, wait, are you just asleep? Great idea. All right. That's... He'll be with his eyes open. Wow. Well, some more political news. After making a trip to Iowa this week, people are speculating that Pete Hegseth could be planning to run for president in 2028.

3:08Here to comment is a potential Pete Hegseth voter, Dirk Straybarth. Hey, Dirk. Thanks for having me, Jimmy. I mean, it's actually pronounced street barf. It's an old German name that means guy who barfs in the street. Got it, guys. So you think you might vote for Pete Hegseth? Oh, if he runs, I'm absolutely voting for him. This is Pete Hegseth we're talking about. He has a chance to be one of the grayest presidents of all time. You say greatest? No, I mean grayest. I love that his skin always has that weak old oyster sheen. Oh. Like you could peel off all the sweat and it would still be in the shape of his face.

3:47Why do you like that? Because it's relatable. He looks like the kind of guy who misses his flight because he's passed out on a barstool at the airport Chili's. That's not a cool kind of guy. You sound like my ex-wife. Look, all I want is a president I can have a beer with. Okay. And a shot. Uh-huh. And a snort. And a drive. And a crash. And a push the car into the lake so we can walk back to Hooters and have another 17 beers. 17 beers is way too many beers. Now, you really sound like my ex-wife. And my doctor. And the waitress at Hooters. Who I'm really hoping will be my next ex-wife. Hey, how about Hegseth's record?

4:26I mean, do you think the war in Iran is going well? Iran? Sorry, it doesn't ring a bell. You've never heard of Iran? Nah. I did hear he changed his job title to Secretary of War. That's awesome. It's like how I call myself a high school football coach, when really, I'm a guy who got fired from being a high school football coach. Why did you get fired from being a high school football coach? Roughing the passer, and the mascot, and the marching band. Yeah, it's starting to make a lot of sense why you'd be voting for Pete Hegsa. Thank you, Jimmy. At the end of the day, I'm a simple man. As long as he promises to bring back the old Four Loko, outlaw breathalyzers, and make every year a leap year so I don't have to pay child support anymore.

5:15He's got my vote. No, you still have to pay child support when it's a leap year. Okay, now you're literally quoting my ex-wife. All right, there you go. Dirk Straybarth, everyone. Street Barth. Yeah, Street Barth. Wow. Well, some entertainment news. Vin Diesel said that this December, they will start shooting the 11th Fast and Furious movie. Yeah. Yeah. Although I will say the squad is getting a little older. Half the movie is just them trying to get into the car. Oh. And finally, Netflix has a new dating show called Weight to Date that will follow a group of people who have lost large amounts of weight and are now attempting to find love.

5:56Yeah. And here's the cruel twist. Some of them are cake. We have a great show. Give it up for the roots, everybody. Hey!

6:09One, two, three, four. One, two, three, five. Oh!

6:18Thank you very much. What a show we have for you tonight. He has a new podcast out called Podlandia, and you can see him in the new movie, Nimrods, which is in theaters now. The very funny Fred Armisen is here. Let's see you again. Come back. He's the greatest. Greatest. He's our favorite. He's everybody's favorite. We love him so much. She stars in the new film The Whisper Man, which premieres August 28th on Netflix. Michelle Monaghan is joining us! Michelle Monaghan! And then I am so excited about this. Come on! Yes! Yes! They are Grammy-winning rock icons, whose new album, Weezer, the gold album, comes out Friday.

7:11Weezer is here tonight! Guys, life can be complicated, but it's not that hard to make it simple. In fact, everything can be broken down into three simple steps. I'll show you what I mean. It's time for Three Simple Steps.

7:30This is the most fun. Our first topic is reading more. Let's just break it down into three simple steps. Step one, decide you want to spend more time reading. Step two, promise you'll read each and every day. Step three, turn on your TV subtitles and say, this counts. Done. Done. Third thing I've read this week. Read a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Up next, we have using TikTok. Step one, download the app. Step two, scroll through a few videos. Step three, look up and realize you have a long white beard and your children are grown. What happened? Up next, we have going to a public pool. Step one, put on your swimsuit.

8:18Step two, jump in. Step three, swim through a suspiciously warm patch of water and try not to think about it. Come on. It could be worse. It could be if you hit one of those Band-Aids. Exactly. Or something worse. That's right. Up next, we have texting your ex. Step one, don't. Up next, we have...

8:48That was good. You got me? That was good. That was a good one. Come on. It was a life lesson. That was good, yeah, yeah. Preach! Up next, we have figuring out if something is A.I. Step one, show your parents. Step two, see if they say, Wow, I can't believe that's real. Step three, if they do, it's A.I. There you go, Leo. What's that? That dog is on a trampoline. He's got a bunch of bunnies. Up next, we have time traveling. Oh. Step one, build a time machine. Step two, enter the time machine. Step one, build a time machine. Wait. And finally, we have visiting a planetarium. Step one, buy a ticket.

9:36Step two, find your seat. Step three, sit back and wait for the edibles to kick in. That's all the time we have for three simple steps. We'll be right back with Tred Arnison.

9:54We'll be right back. Come on. Come on. Just throw that tape. Our first guest is a very funny and talented actor and comedian. He has a new podcast called Podlandia, and you can see him in the new movie Nimrods, which is in theaters now. Everyone, please welcome Fred Armisen!

10:21Come on, buddy. That's got to feel good. They love you. So nice. Thank you very much. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. I've always loved seeing you. I love the short hair. Yeah, this is for the show Wednesday. That's right. I play Uncle Fester, so I have to shave my head the whole time. Oh, thank you. How's the shooting going? It's going great. We shot in Paris. Ooh. I have a photo here of you and Tim Burton. Yeah. This is a paparazzi picture from really far away from across the river. and they videoed. They did video of us shooting and I've never seen myself like as an actor, you know, an action and then you do something.

11:01And it was pretty wild to see. Usually I'd be like, I don't want to see this. It was just like me walking from the river with Tim Burton and Jenna. Wow, because you're just acting and you don't think of yourself as acting but to watch you, when he says action, did you change? Yeah, a little bit. I was just like, oh wow. That's how you act. I was like, I think I'm a professional. You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you never think of yourself that way. No, but then you realized you were. Good for you. Last time I saw you, we hung out this summer, and we went fishing. Do you remember this?

11:36We went to Maine, and we just, we weren't going fishing, but we happened to be on a lake. And I said, Fred, do you fish? And you said, no. That's right. And I said, should we just cast out a... Just throw it? And you go, I'm good. And I go, yeah, but let's just... We're here, and, you know, we got this fishing rod. You want to just do it once? And you go, okay. And then you threw it out, and I got a photo of you. I don't know if you know this. Of you fishing for the first time. This is real. Look at this. Yeah. I bet. I'm proud of it. And it was... I mean, I didn't catch anything. You did not catch a thing.

12:18I don't know if... I don't think I was close to catching anything. I don't think you wanted to catch it, but then you reeled it in, and I go, do you want to cast again? And you go, no. Yeah, because I... That was it. One and done. You know what? Because it went well in that it went out into the water and it plunked down. I didn't want to make a fool of myself where then all of a sudden got caught in something. I was thinking about it. It was such a rare photo. And I could just tell from the audience response that they want to see more of it. Yeah!

12:44So I was thinking maybe if Life magazine existed, this should be on the cover of Life magazine. Yeah. But it doesn't exist. Because it says the story. The composition is really nice. Yeah, you go, it's mysterious a little bit. It's almost like the Mona Lisa. Yep, not almost. It's exactly. It's exactly like the Mona Lisa. Yeah, yeah, because you don't know if you're happy or crying or seriously smirking or searching. Searching for a fish. Or one eye's closed. Yeah, we don't know. Or blinking Morse code. And what's in there? A whale? We don't know. We don't know what's... The Loch Ness monster? I don't know what's underneath.

13:21Only, like, people in submarines would know that. Yes. You know? But what we did was we want everyone to have a chance to see it up close in person, so we took the picture, we framed it, and we put it in the NBC store downstairs. This is real. And if you... There's someone there in the NBC store. So if you're leaving tonight, you can go to the NBC store tonight and take a photo with the photo. I love it. Isn't that good? Yeah. But we worked together. We did something together. We did something together. Yeah, we did something. I love the person who was just walking behind them. They didn't even stop.

13:52Yeah. You're also, I will say, it's great to go see Fred. You're on tour. You have a great live show. It's called Comedy for Musicians, But Everyone is Welcome. That's right. And you'll be at the Beacon Theater here in New York City. That's right. On October 16th. Yes. Go get tickets if they're available. Go see Fred's show. Yeah, thank you. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's talking about this. Podlandia. You're in the podcast world, bud. And it's you and Carrie Brownstein, who we love. We're re-watching Portlandia. How is it like re-watching Portlandia? Do you remember shooting it?

14:26Do you remember writing it? Some of it we'd forgotten about, but it holds up. That's what we were glad about, that we really still like the sketches. And then, also, we get to hang out with each other, me and Carrie. Yeah, you love her. Well, she loves you. You're perfect together. So you go, oh, no, do you remember that day? Blah, blah, blah. We had to go. Because everything was in Portland. Everything was shot in Portland. It was remarkable how unsafe everything was. Like, we just drove. We were on bicycles and stuff. Yes. No safety measures. That's right. Well, this is back in the day. You kind of did this...

14:54Was it IFC? Yeah. Originally? Now it's on Netflix. Now it's on Netflix. And, yeah. Are you finding new people watching it now that it's on Netflix? Oh, yeah. It's great. It's a whole new... It's, like, new people and, like, kids and stuff. That's fantastic. Yeah. It's a nice feeling. You're doing that, and also you're in a film right now called Nimrods, which is getting great Great reviews, and it's about a band. It's like a Green Day... It's a band who's gonna open for Green Day. Yes. But it's, like, based on Green Day stories. In the movie, you play a motel clerk that they meet on the road. You've been in bands when you were touring around.

15:26Oh, yeah. Very interesting people that you meet, right? Always. Always on the road. What are these... It's like you really... A lot of singular people, people who, like, are on their own. And one time, my band, I was in this band Trenchmouth, and we were on tour. This is in the 90s, and our van broke down. and we were on the side of the road and this guy pulled up and he was kind of like hulking and he opened up our hood and he was like, well, you got oil all over the motor. And that's where I first heard like, oh, that's a Baltimore accent, oil all over the motor. You got oil all over the motor.

15:58Yeah, motor. And you know, it was a really old van and I don't know how he fixed it. I don't know, he just fixed a valve or something. And then we're like, thank you so much. How do we repay you? And he's like, well, just get me a lottery ticket. And we're like, you got it. We promised to get you a lottery ticket. And then he left. We had no address. No. What kind of a deal is that? Pretty good. It's not bad. I want lottery tickets. It's a good deal, but he disappeared. So if you're out there, I have a lottery ticket for you.

16:33That's how you do it! Fred Anderson, everyone! Nimrod's in theaters now. Hotlandia, Nail Rewind, and I'm on iHeartRadio app, and network podcasts are heard. More Tornado after the break!

16:59Our next guest is a very talented actress who stars in the new film The Whisper Man, which premieres August 28th on Netflix. Please welcome Michelle Monaghan!

17:15I'm happy to be here. We love it when you're here. Happy to be here. I want to talk about your new movie, Whisper Man, with Robert De Niro. Oh, come on, Adam Scott. It's amazing, amazing, gents. I want to get into all that stuff. Welcome. But first, I want to talk to you about... You had a big summer trip, and you have to tell everyone where you went. We did. We had a big family trip. We love a big adventure, and we went to Indonesia. Uh, it's a wonderful country. It's incredible. I highly recommend it. And, um, and we just had the most beautiful time. It's our second time there, actually. So you went twice.

17:51We went twice. Yeah. Just prior to starting The Whisper Man with Robert De Niro, um, we had gotten home from a trip to Indonesia. We went on a surf trip, and I was getting ready to start the film, and I'm, like, pretty excited to be working with Robert De Niro, as you can imagine, and I'm trying to, like, figure out, like, what are things that I might have in common with him? Like, what could I possibly, like, bring up with him? We're two police detectives. We're driving in a car a lot. Yeah, you get to know each other. Like, I've got a little bit of imposter syndrome, and, um, we start chatting, and I was like, yeah, we just, we just, uh, we just got home from Indonesia, and he's like, oh, that's great.

18:29Did you see the dragons? And I was like, what? He's like, did you see the dragons? And I was like, what dragons? He said, the Komodo dragons. And I was like, oh my God, I've missed the dragons. Like, I've missed the dragons. I said, no, what are you talking about, the Komodo dragons? So he's like, well, you gotta go back and see the dragons. And then I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I've missed the dragons. I go home and I immediately, you know, Google Komodo dragons and I'm like, oh wow, these are amazing creatures. And I'm thinking to myself, my God, We've got to go back and see the dragons.

19:03Yeah. So now we start planning this vacation, and I say to the family, we're going back to Indonesia, and we're going to Komodo National Park. And you're going to see the... And it's Bob De Niro. That's the best reason. He's a great travel agent. Yeah, he's a great travel agent. But look at this photo. This is real. Talk to me. So this is a Komodo dragon. How big are they? They are probably about 10 feet long. They are vicious. They're prehistoric. They have an interesting anatomy as well. I found out that they have two. They have two. The males have two. Things. Things. They have two things. And so I thought that was really fascinating.

19:49And they're very aggressive. So I'm thinking, gosh, did Bob know that they And two things as well. Could have warned me. Yes. Anyway, so I'm learning a lot about the dragons. But the most important thing is getting that photo. Because as soon as I get back to this boat that's taken us there, I'm like, I'm doing that. You got something that you're going to relate to Robert De Niro. Yeah, I'm sending that photo to Bob. Yes. So I'm so excited. I get on the boat. I get Wi-Fi. I send the photo to Bob. I say, Bob, it's amazing. I'm at Komodo National Park. Just like you said, I'm so excited to see you in a few weeks.

20:28And no response, no response. We're sitting at lunch and my son has my phone, my 12-year-old son. All of a sudden he gets the phone and he goes, Mom, you've got a text from Bob De Niro? And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, what's it say? Yeah, and you brought it. It said, amazing buddy. I must say I'm disappointed that you didn't take a picture riding on his back. Have fun. I'm Bob.

20:54I love him, come on. Love Bob. Love him. He's the most fun. Yeah, and then obviously I'm not. Now you gotta go back to a third time. No, I'm not. All right, all right, all right. I'm not for obvious reasons now. Let's talk about The Whisper Man. This is a crime thriller. You, Robert De Niro, Adam Scott. It's based on a great book. How do we set up what the story's about? So it's based on a terrific book. It's a New York Times psychological thriller based on a New York Times bestselling novel by Alex North called The Whisper Man, of course. and it's about a man trying to find his kidnapped son.

21:28And I play a detective who is investigating a string of disappearances when I realize the case that I'm working on mirrors a case from a decades-old case about a serial killer called The Whisper Man. And so I team up with a former police detective played by Robert De Niro, and we go on the hunt. It's very, very, very well done. Come on. Michelle Monaghan, The Whisper Man, premieres August 28th on Netflix. More tonight, Joe, after the break. Stick around, everybody.

22:14Our next guests are Grammy-winning rock icons that have sold over 35 million records worldwide. Ow! Their new album, Weezer, the gold album, comes out Friday from Weezer. Please welcome Rivers Cuomo and Patrick Wilson.

22:42That's what I'm talking about. Oh, my goodness. It is so great to see you. Welcome back to the show, and thank you for being here. being here. Congrats on the new album. Comes out Friday. This is it. Weiser the Gold album, which is fun. I want to talk about all this. But first, I want to go back to the beginning, if you don't mind. You've been in a lot of bands. Your first band, Rivers, was a band called Avant-Garde. And I have a photo here. You're in the middle.

23:18Avant-Garde. What kind of band was this? What kind of band was this, and was that your real hair? We were progressive metal, and it was my real hair, yeah. Wow. And then two of you, you were in two bands together before Weezer, right, with Pat? That's right. One was called Fuzz. Yes. That was cool. And then another band I wanted to ask you about the name is called 60 Wrong Sausages. That's right. Who thought of that name? I did. You did? Yeah. You're proud of it? Actually, I didn't think a whole lot at all about that. No. How did 60 Wrong Sausages... I just blurted it out. Yeah. And then it just stuck?

24:00Yeah. Yeah. And then is that when you started the 50 Song Project? Yes. Sausages kind of crashed, and then we wanted to form a band, and we wanted to make sure we had a lot of great songs, so we set this goal. Okay, we're going to write 50 songs before we even have our first rehearsal. So you did? Yeah. And now, for this album, do you still work like that? Do you still write like that? Yeah, I mean, we hung out in a living room, actually, for months, all four of us, and just threw ideas out, and it was really fun. Yeah, but the first time you do the 50 songs, you go, okay, that ends up being the first album, the Weezer album, the blue album.

24:46Yeah. Yeah. And that's Undone, Sweater Song, all that stuff. Do you remember your first gig? I heard a rumor that you opened up for Dogstar. Am I making that up? I operate your guys' Wikipedia page, so I kind of typed that out and made it. So just say it's real, and then I feel good about myself. Does everyone know who Dogstar is, first of all? Yeah, I think so. Keanu Reeves' band. Yeah. Yeah. That was our first gig, and so, yeah. Well, technically, they opened for us in the sense that we closed the show. We went on, like, 1 a.m. So you were on the same gig as Dogstar. Yeah. Our mission was to keep the people in the club by ordering drinks and stuff like that as long as we could.

25:34And how many people were there at the beginning of the night with Dogstar? Oh, the place was packed. Yeah, like a couple hundred. Oh, and how many people were there when you got on stage? Probably five or six. Six people? Yeah, probably. Wow. And, Pat, did you go, wow, that's the night you go, we made it? Yeah, I was ecstatic, actually. It was pretty fun, to be honest. You were. I was. Rivers, you felt like you nailed it? Yeah, total catharsis, like, getting up there with these guys and playing our songs for the first time. It was an incredible feeling. And, in fact, I got so lost in the music with my head back and my eyes closed, I fell off the stage.

26:15Did anyone help you up at the six people? I mean, the stage was, like, this high. It still counts. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, with your eyes closed. Startling. Probably felt like this. Yeah, with your eyes closed. You go from that to now selling out arenas all over the world. Everyone loves you. Weezer The Gathering Tour kicks off in September. Now, this is an exciting stuff. Weezer The Gathering.

26:41And there's a theory online, again, on my Wikipedia page that I type out. And I was wondering, we want to know, is there any connection with Magic the Gathering? Like, are you Magic fans at Weezer? Well, I think Magic the Gathering has something to do with summoning sorcerers from all corners of the world to come into this. Yeah, and I think this tour is something like that where we're summoning all the different kinds of Weezer fans from around the world to come rock out with us. Wow. So it does kind of have something to do with Magic, or not really? Maybe. I don't know. Have you ever played Magic the Gathering?

27:21I haven't, but I want to. All right, good. That's good. You got to have goals. The Gold album. This is it. I'm so excited. This comes out Friday. Say this is the first album where you guys got... The four of you got together in a room, like you just said, and made a whole album together. Yeah. Why was that part of... An important part of this experience, making it that way? I don't really know. No. Is there any pro to it? Well, yeah, I think what you hear on the record is something that could only be created by humans coming together and being vulnerable and creating something together. It just can't be created by AI or somebody on their own working on a computer or something.

28:06Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We want that. The first track on the album is called Say Yes. Originally, you wanted to title it something else. Was it called? Say Yes was originally called School Sucks. And, uh... Wait, you could just go back to it. Yeah, uh, I mean, still, most of the lyrics are on that same theme. I was writing it, I was kind of writing it to my 13-year-old son at the time, because I was like, man, school really sucks. I get it. You don't want to do this homework. But then when I sang it, the guys were like, it's just weird when you're singing School Sucks because it's not believable.

28:52So I changed that one line. What does your son think of the song? He hasn't heard it yet. Wow. So he didn't even know that he kind of inspired the song. Until tonight. Maybe not. I don't think he's watching. Yeah.

29:17There's another... We might as well be strangers, is what you're going to perform tonight. Even though I will say the album doesn't come out until Friday, unfortunately, so you guys can't get your hands on. No, you have to wait until Friday. Actually, I take that back. Thanks to the great Weezer, everyone in the studio audience is going home with the reason. The Gold Album, on vinyl! It's happening. Oh, yeah, bud. Oh, yeah! Rivers Cuomo, Patrick Wilson, everybody! Weezer the Gold Album comes out Friday. Stick around. Yes! You did it!

30:06I'm playing. My fans are Fred Armisen, Michelle Monaghan, Weezer once again! Weezer! And the Roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Thank you all! Gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up, get up, get up to it.

30:34Uh-huh.

30:41Thanks for listening to The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. Don't forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes weekday mornings wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon weeknights on NBC and streaming on Peacock.