In short
The hosts riff on Argentina’s World Cup final collapse and the broader “Argentina schadenfreude” theme—celebrating Spain’s win, mocking Argentine fans/players for unsportsmanlike behavior, and revisiting Argentina’s history of “dark arts” (including alleged 1990 drugging of Brazil).
Guests
No specific guests are named in the transcript; it’s a solo/hosted discussion between the two main speakers.
Guest backgrounds
Not applicable (no guest identities provided).
Key claims
- Argentina’s collapse was “very enjoyable” for non-Argentines; the hosts describe it as hate-watching.
- Argentina players were “dirty,” including attempts to get opponents sent off and aggressive end-of-match behavior.
- Messi’s brief attempt to get Cucurea sent off is called “pathetic.”
- Argentine media (Clarín) is quoted praising Argentina’s “polite and respectful” conduct—called deluded by the hosts.
- The episode claims Argentina’s “victim complex” drives constant blame-shifting.
- Maradona admitted Argentina spiked Brazil’s Branco with Rehypnol in 1990 (the hosts treat this as credible, citing later admissions and FIFA inaction).
Notable examples
- Enzo Fernández red card; multiple confrontations (Ottamendi vs Rodri; Bellingham slap).
- Argentine fan crying compilations; riots in Buenos Aires with tear gas/water cannons.
- A Spanish pilot prank: telling Argentina fans “Spain has won,” then letting them celebrate.
- Argentina’s 1986 replica kits in the England rugby match; England’s 31-24 win.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOReflections on the Final
0:30 to 2:54
Discussion about the recent final match and the excitement surrounding it.
“To be fair, he had an opportunity that came up last week that you can't turn it down, especially if you're him.”
Analysis of Argentine Reactions
2:54 to 6:32
Analyzing the reactions of Argentine players and fans after the match.
“Yeah, I mean, the Enzo red card was chef's kiss, really.”
The Delusions of Argentine Media
6:32 to 10:44
Exploration of how Argentine media portrayed the team's behavior and performance.
“I also got very tired of the whole, you know, the song that the players and the fans were singing.”
Humorous Pranks and Reactions
10:44 to 12:40
Discussion of a prank played on Argentine fans by a pilot and its implications.
“He actually comes across as quite a decent man.”
The Prank and Its Consequences
14:00 to 18:10
Discussion about a controversial plane prank and its repercussions in Argentina.
“Can you imagine if that happened to England?”
Riots in Buenos Aires
18:10 to 19:58
Exploration of the riots in Buenos Aires following a disappointing sports outcome.
“Don't worry, because we are going to talk about the England-Argentina game, which obviously it was a monumental clash, really, between these two heavyweight rivals.”
England vs. Argentina: Rugby Showdown
19:58 to 22:46
Recap of the intense rugby match between England and Argentina, highlighting key moments.
“Yeah, he literally said lack of respect.”
Phil Neville's Shirt Exchange Story
22:46 to 25:27
Phil Neville's anecdote about a failed shirt exchange with Real Madrid players.
“So he said that after drinking from this bottle, he'd started feeling really dizzy.”
Controversial Tactics in 1990
25:27 to 28:00
Discussion about the alleged drugging incident involving Brazil and Argentina during the 1990 World Cup.
“I was expecting maybe some hay fever meds.”
Maradona's Sloppy Legacy
28:00 to 28:34
Discusses Maradona's controversial moments and his legacy.
Show all 32 chapters
World Cup Opinions
29:50 to 30:15
Debating the overall experience and quality of the recent World Cup.
The Louis Vuitton Trophy Case
30:15 to 31:39
Discussing the extravagant trophy case presented at the World Cup final.
“or I should like exhibit X by now the trophy on Sunday came out in a Louis Vuitton case have you seen this?”
Infantino's Celebrity Encounters
31:39 to 33:00
Describing Infantino's interactions with fans and celebrities during the World Cup.
“yeah if if someone could get a photo could have to pull a lot of strings yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Merchandise and Fan Culture
33:00 to 34:32
Discussing strange football merchandise and the culture surrounding fan items.
“It's a photo, not his, not in my business.”
Celebrity Sightings and Atmosphere
34:32 to 36:41
Commentary on celebrity presence and atmosphere at the World Cup final.
“Next time FIFA threaten us with legal action.”
Commentary Quality and Punditry
36:41 to 42:00
Analyzing the state of football commentary and punditry in the modern era.
“The cheapest ticket was what, 11 grand or something?”
Military Service and Pop Culture
42:00 to 43:14
Discussion on military service of pop stars and humorous observations.
“I quite like how each one of them gets their like moment to the camera.”
Trump at the Trophy Podium
43:14 to 44:38
Analyzing Trump's antics at the World Cup podium and his comments.
“do you see Trump obviously he had his hands on the trophy Did you see him refusing to leave the podium?”
World Cup Rings and Cash Grabs
44:38 to 46:02
Discussion on the gaudy Super Bowl-style rings for World Cup winners.
“they've got diamond sapphires I think there's a little mini World Cup trophy on the side yeah I mean, to be honest, I don't mind this too much.”
Kevin Keegan's Legacy
46:02 to 48:10
Reflections on Kevin Keegan's impact as a player and manager.
“So it turns out Spain get 30 rings, but they made 2 ,026.”
FIFA's Latest Money-Making Schemes
48:10 to 50:10
Examining FIFA's commercialization of World Cup memorabilia.
“The metal's discoloured now and you can see the glue where the plaque's been fixed on.”
Referee Scandals and Humorous Moments
50:10 to 51:50
Reviewing a referee's scandal and humorous incidents during games.
“Well, they're not doing much like, you just get dumped onto the ground, but you know what I mean?”
Falklands and Football Fan Antics
51:50 to 56:00
A look at a fan's wild post-match interview and its implications.
“I was in Bosnia Herzegovina for a business meeting.”
England Fan's Falklands Rant
56:00 to 57:00
Discussing a dramatic interview with an England fan post-match.
“She does the like pitch side this doesn't she?”
Topless Cartwheeling in Benidorm
57:00 to 58:00
Sharing updates about a viral video of an England fan in Benidorm.
“She got naked every goal and stood on a chair chanting, she was crackers.”
Jude Bellingham's Mastermind Moment
58:00 to 59:00
Exploring an interesting clip from Jude Bellingham's grandfather on Mastermind.
“It's quite a good number, I think that, isn't it?”
Cole Palmer's Ice Cube Business
59:00 to 1:01:00
Discussing Cole Palmer's unique business selling ice cubes.
“Mr Bellingham, you have two minutes on Nigeria from 1900 to 1966, starting.”
Graham Souness's Restaurant Allegation
1:01:00 to 1:03:00
Debating Graham Souness's comments regarding Cole Palmer's character.
“He has got one that has electrolytes in it, but the main one is just ice.”
John Fury's Toilet Habits Revealed
1:03:00 to 1:05:00
John Fury shares his unconventional toilet habits on a podcast.
“I've heard about Cole Palmer this week is have you heard Graham Souness what he had to say I did see this it's quite catty he was on Piers Morgan Uncensored Graham would you have taken Cole Palmer?”
Senegal's Football Setup Exposed
1:05:00 to 1:10:01
Discussing issues within the Senegal football setup at the World Cup.
“Well, turns out there is one man who has been defying the rules of bathroom etiquette across the land.”
Senegal FA's Unpaid Bills and Andros Townsend's DIY Toothpaste
1:10:01 to 1:13:44
Learn about the Senegal FA's financial issues and Andros Townsend's unconventional toothpaste recipe.
“who were among the camp at this World Cup.”
Wrap Up and Apologies
1:13:44 to 1:14:14
The hosts reflect on the episode, apologize to various listeners, and teasing upcoming content.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This podcast is part of the Sports Social Podcast Network.
0:30To be fair, he had an opportunity that came up last week that you can't turn it down, especially if you're him. It was tickets to New York. Well, you know, the biggest once-in-a-lifetime thing. It's like, you know, biggest thing. Only happens every four years or so. And, you know, you can't say no to that. And that's Harry Styles at Madison Square Garden. God, it's, you know, who could blame JP? That's sort of what he lives for, really. I think his exact words were, this is my World Cup final. he was playing 21 dates no I'm joking he's in Greece seeing N-dubs yeah so there's going to be no schadenfreude here no this is going to be a really sort of mature episode where we just reflect on just what a great play a mess it is what a great final it was two fantastic likeable teams who who produced a really good game yeah fantastic glad I stayed up for that yeah actually it was really worth it because we got to see it we got to see the Argentine collapse which yeah it was it was very enjoyable for anyone anyone outside Argentina pretty much have you ever hate watched a game to that extent?
1:44I thought I had and I hadn't gone near no I felt like wanting someone to lose no I don't definitely international football I've never watched a game and so much supported one team but were you supporting Spain or were you just do you know what I mean? I watched it in the pub on Sunday night and the mood in the pub was very much, very pro-Spain. There were some Spanish fans, they'd put a Spain flag up in the window, but the neutral feeling was incredibly Spain. I'm not sure you'd call it neutral. Yeah. But when Spain eventually scored the winner, it was like everyone was jumping up and down. It was great.
2:20I would say England fans sort of supported Spain there like you support a porn star's penis in a video. Like they were a prop. Do you know what I mean? For the thing you want to see. Like, yes, they're a necessary component of the Argentine defeat. I can't enjoy it without the cock. But like, do you know what I mean? They're just faceless objects. You wish you were there. Well. Just imagine it's you that's taking part. Yeah, just imagine it's you. I think that analogy stands. I think it's precisely what was going on. Yeah, it probably actually is. We got what we wanted. Obviously wanted 4-0. wanted to see Enzo cry.
2:58Yeah, I mean, the Enzo red card was chef's kiss, really. But unfortunately, he had disappeared off to the dressing rooms for probably a private cry, I guess. I didn't see him back on the pitch. I hope that he did. Yeah, I mean, we should say congrats to Spain as well. I think that's probably the last mention they're going to get in this episode because it's a Chardonnay special. which you know there's definitely we've got to be honest there are some sour grapes because they beat England but at the same time I can't remember a more unlikable team like I mean their reaction at the end of the game was insane like the Paredes losing his head kicking was it Eric Garcia and then throwing Gavi to the floor yeah and I think it was Molina who started it because Gavi ran past him and he just stuck out an arm to hit him in the chest.
3:54Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mental. Again, though, it's kind of like, I'm kind of grateful to them for being such cunts about it. Do you know what I mean? Would have been annoying if they're really magnanimous. Yeah. That would have been annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was delighted. Yeah. We probably should acknowledge that Jude Bellingham did slap someone after we got knocked out. Like, it was mental. He deserved it, didn't he? Yeah, what that cunt. Okay. He didn't even play. Yeah. And there was Ottomendi, that confrontation between Ottomendi and Rodri as well. So apparently Ottomendi had a go at I'm Eric Laporte for some quotes that turned out to be fake on Twitter that basically were Laporte saying like, oh, the refs wanted to help Argentina.
4:34Apparently they're fake. But what I love about that video is like Rodri's like trying to calm him down. I mean, they used to be teammates, I guess, him and Ottomendi. And then there's this moment you just see him in Rodri's eyes, like, I just can't reason with this guy. And he just slowly backs away. It's like you're chatting to someone in the pub and you're kind of entertaining it and then they're like, yep, obviously there's that 5G chip they put in our arm. I actually think that the worst part of it was Messi trying to get Kukurea sent off for briefly touching his mouth. It was, that's pretty low.
5:04Yeah, it was the way he stuck his hand up. Like he was literally calling the teacher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like what, you want to win? Also, Messi, you're meant to be the one who's not a cunt. Mm, mm. You don't need to be. That was so pathetic. You're the best player in the world. Always said I prefer Ronaldo. I think that rule, the rule about covering the mouth getting a red only exists because that Argentine guy racially abused someone in La Liga. Benfica. Yeah. That was very embarrassing for Messi. It was. It was all embarrassing. The whole thing was pretty embarrassing. Although I don't think the Argentine press felt the same way about it.
5:39So this is a quote from the Argentine newspaper Clarion. as never before the Argentine team displayed both on and off the field a range of values that are rare these days from the pitch and beyond they gave several lessons and showed the face of a country that we would like to see away from the football pitch a team that was polite and respectful despite a few unfortunate isolated incidents in the last match that didn't speak ill of its rivals or try to justify its own mistakes by blaming others sorry were we watching the same game are you sure they're not taking the piss. No, this is a real quote from an Argentine newspaper.
6:18So they're basically saying, yeah, at the final, there was a bit of, you know. There was a bit, you know. It's the final, but. Didn't speak ill of its rivals. Didn't speak ill of their rivals. They were respectful and polite throughout. It's deluded. Yeah, that was really. That was great. I also got very tired of the whole, you know, the song that the players and the fans were singing. For Malvinas, for Diego, for Leo's last one. got very tiring. I'm quite enjoying singing it now. We had a little rendition yesterday. Yeah. I mean, they've lost all three now. So.
6:55Are we laughing at the, laughing at a man's death? What was 639 people's death? Or Leo Messi having his, his dreams shattered? Yeah. That song can get in the fucking bin. I didn't realise as well, you heard the other words of that song. So after that, or just before that line, there's a line, I can't do it to the tune, but they go, and 32 years later, we will avenge the trophy that was taken from the number 10, the one we were not allowed to lift. So that is a reference, if you're wondering, to Maradona's drug ban in 94. So they're saying 32 years ago, which was 94, the trophy that was taken from the number 10, Maradona, the one we weren't allowed to lift.
7:31It's like, you got knocked out in the second round. This is the one where Maradona was doping. He got kicked out because he was doping. He got caught taking a banned weight loss stroke okay also in what he was kicked out after two matches it's like you beat greece you got knocked out in the knockout rounds by who was it i can't remember it was like not like top top is it romania or someone yeah who were good yeah um what and they're saying yeah we weren't allowed to lift that trophy fifa doesn't want us to win the victim complex is mental like the thin skin thing about it but i was reading um guillem balag the spanish journalist who was defending them.
8:09And he was like, what Anglo-Saxon countries don't get is that like defeat is, it's humiliation in Argentina. We can't accept it. So we have to blame someone else. Sorry, not we, he's not Argentine. Yeah. They can't accept it. So they have to blame someone else. It's like, I think that's the issue you need to address. It's like, it's like just being like, yeah, it's our mate. He's just a fucking cunt when he's drunk. It's like, yeah, but can you ask him to stop being a cunt when he's drunk? That's not an excuse. Do you think Ireland, for example, would be like, are the yeah this World Cup this year it was taken from Ireland wasn't it what by Czechia by Patrick Schick they weren't allowed to be fair if they sang it about when Henri had handballed to keep them out of the World Cup I'd be inclined to enjoy that but it's like stop blaming everyone else all the time yeah should we watch some clips of sad Argentine fans I thought you'd never ask yeah that's all I've been doing didn't you say someone you were on the train i got a look on the train on the train on the monday morning yeah on youtube searching on youtube crying i'm just watching it on youtube there's a 30 minute compilation in you know how most of them are shorts but this one's widescreen so it's kind of like you know like at christmas parties people sometimes put on the tv like a video of a fire i'm just gonna have this 30 minute version of just sopping argentina fans it's fucking good you're gonna go go on your go on your google it's like you know where it says you visit often no it's homepage it's how i get my son to sleep now just the sound this is like argentine fan zone looks cold there i guess it's winter isn't it enjoy that
9:51i gotta say two days out i feel a bit more guilty yeah they are mostly children as well they look quite young he's a teenage yeah
10:06this is the guy who looks he's sick he vomits he's i mean he does look about 13 that boy is vomiting he's he's retching he's so he's so sad he's retching what do you think he's just like pissed oh he looks about 13 which maybe makes it less good that we're laughing yeah yeah i have to say two days out i feel a bit more guilty about watching them cry because also that video is they look like teenagers they yeah i want the what the the like fit rich ones who are in the fucking crowd in miami and and shit those are the ones i want to see crying yeah and to be fair we did get to see that we did see that yeah probably the most televised event of the year yeah yeah yeah i think crying about a world cup exit when you're not a child is a bit much i saw some england fans doing it yeah it's a bit much i i think for players i understand it because yeah you're sort of like this could be your own you don't know what the situation is going to be in four years if you're going to be this could be your life up yeah yeah uh yeah i mean to be honest if i'd paid 10 grand for a ticket to the final then i might feel differently i would vomit with disappointment seeing people i don't want to that boy retching up your 25 dollar budweiser that boy is a teenager so i don't want to shit on him but after england got knocked out on the semi-final night and they're fucking chanting about us being piratas which is a good nickname i did want to see people retching with with yeah disappointment yeah and we see uh scaloni yeah breaking down breaking down in the press conference as well.
11:41This is quite good.
11:45He's back to form.
11:49And I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sorry.
11:56And he leaves. He has to leave. I'm sorry. That's good. He actually comes across as quite a decent man. Annoyingly. He's the... Him and Messi are the ones who are more difficult to dislike. Yeah, but now I've seen Messi tell. tell the teacher he's in the same category Scaloni's the only one left I think but that is good and he literally gets up and walks out yeah I don't follow exactly what he's saying but I think he's basically being like we'll have to see if I stay on yeah he's pretty young yeah was he manager in the last World Cup as well yeah he was I think if this was 2008 someone would make that into a ringtone sort of like it starts as him and then it's crazy frog for no fucking reason you'll sign up to download it and then that's you locked in for it's impossible to ever leave you're paying them 12.99 for the next one on the phone bill just straight on did you see the Spanish pilot who played a prank on the Argentina fans so he had a plane full of Argentina fans during the game not sure what they were doing but anyway and he decided that it would be funny to tell them Argentina had won here's the reaction of them celebrating
13:09But the final of a wild cup, unfortunately, only one can win it. From here, we want it to congratulate to our fellow countrymen. Argentinian. And the crowd goes wild.
13:29I mean, you would. They're all filming. They're in Argentina shirts. And then there's another clip where he just goes to them. He lets the cheering go on for ages. And then he just goes, Spain has won.
13:51Was that a scream from one guy?
13:57I mean, it's a pretty brutal prank. And he lets them go on for a while. Yeah. Can you imagine if that happened to England? Yeah. I mean, I've got to say, if you care what you're doing on a plane, yeah, miss the flight. True. Safe to say, while the prank has gone down well around the world, it's not gone down well in Argentina. So this is an Argentine newspaper, I'm not sure which one, said, not only did he commit a terrible act with a questionable sense of humour, but he exposed himself to serious consequences aboard the aircraft when the truth finally came out. The passengers might have wanted to confront him or enter the cockpit.
14:37i love it it's like i'm just worried about the safety of the aircraft and also it's like we we can't control ourselves we might crash a fight in anger at you once again can everyone dance around how fucking mental we are yeah i mean it's a pretty brutal play also he's he's safe inside the cockpit yeah that's why we've that's we've been here before we've ever since 9-11 they've put in safety measures to ensure that for moments like this to prevent angry argentinians hijacking the plane and do you think he just went to the just before he went in the air just quickly turned the lock definitely went for a piss first turn the lock bastard but love it um yeah that's so good um did you see there were there were riots in buenos aires as well yeah because most i would I'd say the air I've mainly got is like somber disappointment, which is what you expect.
15:38I haven't seen like a ton of anger apart from the players. Well, yeah, the players. And then I think, because the game in Buenos Aires, it was relatively early in the day, I guess, like sort of middle of the afternoon. But by about midnight, it had started to get a bit nasty. Police had to bring out the water cannons, tear gas. I got some clips of it here as well.
16:05they're just fucking out rampaging and a lot of litter a lot of litter or rampaging lots of lots of police are protecting the obelisk I think it's called this like monument in the central city people are hurling bottles at the police police are trying to get out Jesus the police legging it yeah that's not going to do your GDP any favours the V-bar the fortnight fee bucks are soaring. Have we talked about that last week? Have we talked about this? In our most sour grapes moment, we should say, we checked and the Argentine peso is worth a tenth of the fortnight fee buck. To the dollar. Yeah. I think the lowest moment was Googling the Falkland Island's 2013 sovereignty referendum results just to get the exact score.
16:5798.9, if you're wondering. Percent. Yeah. Turnout was 90%. Yeah. an estimate suggests up to 5 ,000 Nazis arrived in Argentina after the Second World War. I actually found myself quoting that in the pub and was like, what am I doing? Come on, get a fucking grip. You lost. Yeah, the rioting is pretty mental. Because also I saw after the fucking England defeat, there was a reel that went really big that someone from Argentina posted of like all the happy scenes in Buenos Aires. And the caption was like, if this was England or France, there would be rioting on the streets which is also not true I mean to be fair there'd be some pretty bad there'd be a little bit it's a bit fucking rich did you see the state they left Times Square in did they?
17:45so much litter and Buenos Aires as well if you play it in reverse they're actually cleaning up Buenos Aires
17:54they would do that as well putting out a lot of fires that night weren't they?
18:02Now, this all might seem to the outside observer like we are just in a bit of bitter schadenfreude. And we are. Don't worry, because we are going to talk about the England-Argentina game, which obviously it was a monumental clash, really, between these two heavyweight rivals. So much history, so much antipathy between the two sides, the two nations. but I think at the end of the day we have to put our hands up and say that the best team won 31-24 England did it in the end five excellent tries and they're now up to third in the Northern Hemisphere Nations Championship eat that Enzo Fernandez
18:49really really good didn't quite make up for it I don't know double or quits so in case you missed that we did smash them at the old rugby at the weekend it's fair to say that the Argentines were hoping for a big double over England there were Malvinas banners in the crowd the ref got pelted with rubbish when he disallowed a late try for them Argentina actually played in replica kits of their 1986 football win over England which when you're used to seeing that kit on the slender shoulders of Diego Maradona, it does look quite odd, stretched over torso of a 19 stone prop. Yeah. Yeah. It's not quite as, quite as romantic.
19:37Yeah. Especially when you get fucking smashed. Yeah. Manny Faye were both so's running rings around you. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It was quite ugly. It was a bad tempered game actually. And afterwards, did you see Argentina's manager stormed out of the press conference afterwards because Parody England was celebrating too loudly next door. It was a lack of respect. Yeah, he literally said lack of respect. Yeah. There was not an England fan in the crowd. Not one. Not one. So when England scored, it was just silence. It was bizarre. Yeah, it was not a lot of love lost between them. I can't imagine they were swapping shirts at the end.
20:15Anyway, we won. We did. That's the real quiz. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Actually, speaking of swapping shirts, you see Phil Neville was talking about this week. So he does a column in the Times and he was talking about this game back in 2003. He's playing for Man United against Real Madrid. And this was a great Real team. It was like Zidane, Ronaldo, Luis Figo, Roberto Carlos. And after the game, Phil fancied a souvenir. So this is a quote from Phil's article. my shirt was handed in for an exchange in the Royal Madrid dressing room after about five minutes their kit man came out and handed it back
20:59I just absolutely love this love the scene in the Royal Madrid dressing room like kit man coming he was like Phil Neville what do you want they were just like Phil Neville goes to sit down and pass you around and say no you're alright just bring it back like it's a no unfortunately phil i grabbed you one of their bibs it's sort of like going on speed dating and not getting any tics is that how it works there's just like an exchange i thought that it was like a direct you know swap it yes it's sort of a cowardly like if he'd gone and asked a dan he might have said yeah what do you think he was imagine if he'd been like no who are you yeah not worth it did anyone get um messi's oh jed spence got it what about the spain game i guess they were busy enjoying uh i don't know because i was thinking like i was obviously very happy for spain spain as the sort of like the prop to be argentina but it was quite weird that some of the spanish players were spending like the most glorious moment of their careers just like squabbling with argentina players i mean argentina were drawing them into it yeah also i do you swap shirts in a World Cup final surely you want to keep your own shirt for the World Cup final Messi doesn't though does he oh I see what you mean yeah for the Spain players you'd want to keep that as your souvenir Infantino's probably gonna he's probably gonna cut it into square centimetres and sell it that's actually a good idea get me in the biz dev department before we continue I've got a podcast recommendation for you the Football Ramble is the most entertaining football podcast out there except for the upshot obviously and for me it's the best way to follow the on-pitch action at the World Cup this summer just like the upshot they're not afraid to call Gianni Infantino what he really is so if you're looking for a new podcast to guide you through this World Cup look no further than the Football Ramble with brand new episodes every single day through the tournament just search Football Ramble wherever you get your podcasts I'm at FIFA yeah going back to Argentina once again they were playing pretty dirty in case we haven't mentioned it they're cheats aren't they real bastards we mentioned they were really violent at the end and bad losers yeah trying to get people sent off but they they are the masters of pushing it right to the limit of acceptability which you could argue they did cross the line on that back in 1990 so 1990 they were defending champions they'd obviously won it with Diego Maradona in 86 and he was still at the heart of the team but the tournament started off quite disappointing they finished third in their group just scraped through and came up against their hated rivals Brazil in the last 16 and they did How did you get through in third, sorry?
23:46I think it was like it is now they must have had an uneven team so it was like some of the third place teams go through come up against Brazil end up winning 1-0 with a late Claudio Canigia goal but after the game there was a bit of controversy because the Brazil defender Branco came out and told journalists that he thought that he'd been drugged by a water bottle given to him by the Argentina bench in the first half. So he said that after drinking from this bottle, he'd started feeling really dizzy. His legs felt funny. He almost fainted. And actually at halftime, he'd gone to his manager and be like, I think I need to be taken off.
24:23But his manager insisted that he carry on playing. So anyway, he said this to journalists after the game. And I think even the most conspiracy theorist, fanatic Brazilian journalist dismiss these claims it's ridiculous really like another team would drug the players and eventually Branco sort of moved on from it until a couple of years later when he bumped into the Argentine defender Oscar Ruggieri at the airport in Rio and Oscar sort of winks at him and says ah Branco that was a good trick we played on you back in 1990 wasn't it and he then jets so he zips off to get on his flight and Braco's sat there thinking, I think I know what he's on about.
25:12But still, he's got no hard proof, really. And then in 2004, Diego Maradona admitted to a journalist that Argentina did indeed have a special bottle prepared for the Brazil players that had been laced with Rehypnol. What? The date rape drug. The date rape drug, Rehypnol. It's a tranquilizer. I was expecting maybe some hay fever meds. No, no. And apparently they had a different colored cap on this bottle. And before the game, all the Argentine players were like, Tom, don't go for the one with the blue cap. That's not, that ain't good water. And yeah, he admitted that they'd spiked Branco. Argentina's manager after Maradona like admitted this he was asked about it and he said I don't know I'm not saying it didn't happen what?
26:12so it happened? I mean so Brazil end up submitting this dossier of evidence to FIFA about what they suspect happened obviously this is like 14 years later there's not a lot FIFA can do but you know still they put this forward but FIFA never issues any punishment to Argentina know uh yeah fucking hell yeah do you believe it i mean why would maradona why would maradona make that why would the manager not just be like that's bollocks yeah yeah yeah um i mean there's wanting to win and then there's spiking your druggy yeah um i don't know i sort of i sort of believe it i kind of sounds like them yeah but like i think part of this argentine football identity is in this like being clever to win.
27:01And win at all costs. Win at all costs. And like the hand of God, they're like proud of that as a sort of, you know, which in a way I kind of respect, I have like a grudging respect for this. You've got to enjoy it a bit. We, yeah, we just embrace the dark arts and we win. But are you drawing the line? I do draw the line. Spiking your opponents with Rehypnol. I think that is, that crosses the line. Is this the one from the song where they were like the one they wouldn't let you lift? I think this is... When they took it from you, wouldn't let Branko lift his fucking arms. Poor guy. How was he able to play a match?
27:40I guess it was a light dose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he was able to pass through it. But apparently he had a pretty bad game. Unsurprisingly. He took their free kicks apparently. And normally he was like lethal from free kicks. But they were just dribbling into the wall. yeah yeah um yeah wild well I mean Maradona said it and you know he's the hero it was Maradona in 2004 which is I think that was quite a hallucinatory phase he was quite sloppy I don't know how much Maradona can recall from that yeah that was a sloppier Maradona yeah but you know still yeah and actually if you've been poisoned by a football legend which cost you a crucial last 16 tie there's probably some compensation in it for you isn't it I'm pretty sure that is the least Brad Coy could be after well should he require legal representation injury lawyers for you the personal injury lawyers who fight for you yep we're still plugging them post World Cup still sponsoring us our favourite lawyers well actually shout out to Warren who messaged in saying you said they're your favourite lawyers but where does Rene the piss goblin rank yeah if you're not familiar you know Burkheim the nightclub in Berlin there's a guy who lives in the lives hangs out at the Orinals wants people to piss on him when it's in his mouth and he is actually a solicitor called reno yeah don't think he's a personal accident guy is he and he's not no win no fee no he's not he's not which does i think no win no fee really elevates yeah drew lawyers for you i mean surely there have been some accidents in the burghine toilets yeah i was gonna say surely he's contracted something at some point i would argue it's his fault yeah true yeah not kink shaming him but if you get a uti reno then I think you've possibly brought that on yourself.
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29:25But someone could slip in those sort of things. They could just go everywhere. But I guess suing Burkheim's quite like bad, bad like nightclub karma, isn't it? It's about as bad a vibe as you can bring into them. But if you do want to, injury lawyers for you, probably. I don't know if they operate in the German jurisdiction. I don't think they do. But if in England and Wales, any of the above has happened to you. Yeah. I'll drop a link to their website in the show notes. would really recommend a lot of people have been saying it was a bad World Cup I don't agree I don't think it's been bad I think the football's been I think the World Cup's always good yeah exactly it's football's on the world football's on TV I would say it's been fucking tacky tackiest World Cup ever Qatar wasn't that tacky it was quite like yeah dignified whereas this is I mean exhibit A or I should like exhibit X by now the trophy on Sunday came out in a Louis Vuitton case have you seen this?
30:23specially designed case it's huge isn't it? yeah it weighs 6 kilos wow because I thought Infantino and Trump were making quite a heavy going of carrying it together did you see? yeah but is that not because neither they both wanted to carry it together I had a message from Dom on the WhatsApp line and he said it's like when you carry a sack of like cement with your granddad or like a sack of soil in the garden he's like needlessly putting his hand on it to carry it It was a bit like that. The Louis Vuitton case is Infantino's dream realized. So fucking... Who wants that? Why? Yeah. Actually, speaking of the big man Infantino, shout out to the brothers, Dom and Dan from Leicestershire, who've been out in the US for the World Cup and got a photo last week with Infantino while wearing an upshot hat.
31:10This is an unbelievable photo. Got it on screen now. I'll upload it and link to it so people who are listening can see. but yeah just arm around him Infantino's got the thumbs up and there is the upshot limited edition hat bought from a live show because Dom and Dan are proper shotters yeah I mean that is I think who else would you rather get a photo with an upshot hat because I was going to suggest a game where people get a photo wearing a hat with the best thing but I sort of think they've done it they think they've already won Kim Jong-un yeah if if someone could get a photo could have to pull a lot of strings yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:46Dennis Rodman could probably get that done, if anyone knows him. Yeah. But yeah, it's football's most evil man repping the podcast. He threatened. He threatened. Threatened to sue us, never forget. Yeah. I should clarify in the photo, if you're listening, the hat is on Dom and Dan, not on Infantino's head. I don't think he'd... Cap on a bald man is tricky, isn't it? Like William Hague. Which is actually really unfair because they need it the most. Yeah, I see. you often see bald men in hats on beaches and stuff fair enough it's dangerous to not have a cap I wonder if Dom and Dan thought about just whipping it onto him but I think that is immediate I think you'd be dragged out dragged out and not be chocked I don't understand how they've got this close to Infantino they're in like VIP lounge they're not mixing it with the ordinary fans on the terraces are they yeah they're in some sort of lounge and yeah they've they said they saw him before somewhere so Yeah.
32:43But I think he's just cruising around in his trainers. Yeah. I think his business suit with trainers look did not suit him. Johnny would be my other comment. No. He looked like he's got a long, long walk in his commute, like an hour. Do you know what I mean? It's just missing a fucking Brompton bike, to be honest. And a smug little grin. Yeah. She's got that. But yeah, hell of a scalp. It's a photo, not his, not in my business. Yeah. So well done to those two. have given them lifetime Patreon for that. Yeah. It's just such a scalp. So how much for... If you get it with Kim Jong-un, then what's the prize?
33:22Good point. What else can we offer? It's just another hat, really. You just do the podcast from now on. Yeah, come on. You can just... Bring Kim. Kim's got quite a, like, trendy haircut, hasn't he? Kim Jong-un. He's got... It's quite like... Parkhine, in fact. Yeah. Do you reckon him and Rene the Piss Goblin have got the same haircut? Do you think Rene's got a, like... When I was at uni, this was known as the Leeds Ket Cut. Because it was like, you go to Leeds and do Ket. Do you know what I mean? How often do you think he's getting to, like, Micah Richards' level frequency on haircuts? Very well.
33:54Micah Richards is, what, three times a... Three a week. Three a week. Kim's head is always incredibly shiny beneath the hair. I still can't help feeling it would look better under a hastily printed Beachfield vintage cap with a logo slapped on it. Embroidered logo. because actually we are selling some hats. Felt like a good time to sell them. We've got a hundred. Limited run. That's all. And just for the next week only. So I'm just going to plug it once. You can get them in blue or grey. I'll put a link in the episode description to where you can buy an Upshot hat. Yeah. And then you can be like Dom and Dan, get one with Gianni.
34:30And you'll be supporting us. Next time FIFA threaten us with legal action. You don't want us to go under because they can have a lot of time on their hands now. Now the World Cup's over. I am concerned now they yeah they're in trade yeah they come over us yeah yeah so support us by buying a hat yeah to be fair there is better merch there's better merch in this office because Zach and I we've got a wall chart in the office for the World Cup you've got to have a wall chart haven't you with the fixtures but we Jack our producer got this on Amazon for I think five quid and we flipped it over this week because the World Cup's done and found the back of it is a map of map of the world Comic Sans and it's got South America and then Nouth America N-O-U-T-H they spelled Africa wrong they spelled Canada wrong it's Kanda Kanda and it's Kika 2026 Soccer World Championship yeah and it's sort of like the other thing is it's a bit of fabric it's not paper and they've cut it so jagged it's so that's actually I don't know if you can really make it out in the picture here but it's been done it looks like a child has been cut it I mean made in China possibly has it was cheap it was cheap from a questionable online shop that's starting to explain a few things South America and then South America so I guess what I want to know is has anyone got a worse bit of merch?
35:58bit of tat has anyone got a bit of merch with more character than this? I think yeah because it has got so much character we're going to keep it on the wall but yeah send us pictures of any funny merch you've got my mate has an he bought an england t-shirt in i think greece one of those greek islands like a few tournaments ago and it says englang on it it's spelled i-n-g-l-a-n-g and then there's a picture of big ben a bulldog wearing union jack glasses and then there's like a cocktail isn't there yeah the bulldog is eating it's drinking a cocktail like a pink cocktail yeah that is coming home yeah so yeah Annie we want to see your shit merch yeah must be loads after this World Cup anyway back to the World Cup do you know what I'm not going to miss is the endless cutting to celebrities in the crowd it's fucking Wimbledon it's annoying at Wimbledon yeah and it was so out of hand this World Cup the final was a disgrace so I thought the atmosphere in the final was really poor I thought it looked I've seen now some more videos filmed from the stands and it looked pretty I don't know if it's because Argentina did not register a shot in normal time that the crowd was 80 % Argentina.
37:06So maybe that's why. But it was like a friendly atmosphere. It was such a weird vibe. The cheapest ticket was what, 11 grand or something? The average. I saw average. I think that's only resale. It must be. Because there must have been some. But the original sale tickets, I think, were two grand starting price. So basically, you've priced out. Yeah, fans. Any real fans. Few snippets I saw. Jake and Logan Paul were in the crowd trading Pokemon cards. There was so much influence of bullshit. I saw another guy. This offended me. This guy posted an Instagram reel. He'd been at the game. He left at halftime to go to the airport where he had two flights booked, one to Madrid, one to Buenos Aires.
37:47And he was going to go on whichever team won and go to the celebration. So he went to Madrid and celebrated. It's like, why have you got a fucking ticket to that game? what a fucking waste you could just go to the celebrations after it's not like the team's going to be there just go to the parade after I was hoping he was going to be like I didn't actually go to the game and he faked it but he was like no I have a press credential it was the influence of World Cup in many ways the amount of videos I've seen of irritating people in the stands just like filming themselves basically trying to annoy people near them to pick a fight I did see one bookie Anto sent this in one bookie was offering 33 to 1 on the BBC commentators mentioning Ibiza final boss at any time would have been on board with that was he there?
38:36he wasn't surely the one I found so annoying did you see the guy who ran a 5k in his seat spinning around in circles can you imagine if you sat behind that guy during a game I think I would have pushed him off the seat there was one funny moment involving a celeb at the final on Sunday where Guy Mowbray, the commentator, mistook Pharrell Williams for someone else. So Pharrell comes on screen.
39:09I think that's AKA Rocky or ASAP Rocky, sorry. AKA Rocky. Was it Liam Gallagher who called him WhatsApp Ricky? So good. WhatsApp Ricky. what's that Ricky's quite a good gig I do think it's quite a tough gig like you're a football commentator why should I be expected to know all these random actors and yeah it's funny as well when there's like an American football player and they the commentators you have like Jonathan Pearce trying to talk sense about American football or basketball feel for Jonathan Pearce because I would say I don't think the commentators necessarily had a bad World Cup but like all the iconic ones have gone now there's no like Barry Davies Motti Martin Tyler a few other do you know what I mean we're now I don't think the quality of commentator is anywhere near, just in terms of like, their voices used to feel really special.
39:59Yeah. But was that just because they've been around for a long time? And I was eight. Their voice is like, you associate their voice. Maybe. But I do feel for Jonathan Pierce because he's been around for fucking donkeys years. He commentated on the Cantona Kung Fu kick and he still gets the shit games. Does he? Yeah. He doesn't get the big, big stuff. So it was what? It was, I think it was Guy Mowbray on BBC with Alan Shearer. Guy Mowbray is all right. Yeah. He's, he's for me probably the better one. I'm not even talking about what they say. It's just like the voice making you feel like this is a big occasion.
40:26Yeah. I think Ali McCoy does it for me. Yeah. Ali McCoy is just in terms of like passion. But he's not a commentator. No, no, he's good. It's a different role. I think we are really short on that. Wayne Rooney, having been quite a weak pundit, has put his hands up as a catty bitch, which I loved. Slagging off the halftime show. Just calling it a crap. Yeah. I mean, I'm with him. Did you enjoy it? You know what? but I actually did quite enjoy it. In a sort of, in a sort of, um, ridiculously trashy, tacky, but just like, I don't know. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it, man. You're talking about Bieber or BTS?
41:06Uh, BTS were quite good. I thought BTS were good. Bieber was, Bieber was, it's not the vibe. Bieber was like, why are you doing like an acoustic guitar thing? I've got a friend who's a big Belieber and she cried. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to her. Um, I yeah two Ronnies was good that was good Ronaldinho and Ronaldo with Madonna yeah I was hoping they were going to recreate the famous three way kiss she did with Brittany and Christina Aguilera but with the two Ronnies were they AI'd didn't it looked weird it was definitely pre-recorded because they tried to make out that that was sort of in the underbelly of the stadium but I'm pretty sure that was pre-recorded whereas the Sesame Street puppets were real that was obviously real yeah yeah that was actually Letoro Martinez that wasn't Bert from Sesame Street that was Latoura Martinez, if you're wondering.
41:52I actually thought BTS was one of the highlights because they're proper like old school boy band like heartthrobs, aren't they? They're dreamy. Yeah. In their matching. I quite like how each one of them gets their like moment to the camera. They've also, they've only just finished their military service last year, which is quite, I quite like that. Yeah. Like the career has, it does the cute and then it does the absolutely savage. But did they do military service like Kim Min Jae did military service online from his Bavarian schloss. Patrolling the chat rooms. Someone has to. There's a cyber war going on.
42:27I can't imagine BTS dodging. It was like North Korea, they do those balloons filled with shit. Yeah, over the 48th parallel. I can't imagine whatever his name is from BTS dodging those balloons. No. The whole show was curated by Chris Martin. He's actually a man I wouldn't mind seeing a balloon of shit burst over. preferably in some freezing wasteland on the DMZ I saw this curated by Chris Martin how much curation goes on it's like yeah we'll get Shakira, Madonna Justin Bieber and BTS like that's not a curation Presumably he's responsible for Robbie Williams though because it was a surprise I guess yeah You enjoyed the show it was funny if England had been playing in the final I'd be absolutely fuming but yeah anyway do you see Trump obviously he had his hands on the trophy Did you see him refusing to leave the podium?
43:19Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite funny, I thought. Yeah. But did you also see him in the week before slagging off Tuchel's tactics? Talking about Harry Kane. Yeah, he's basically saying they used Harry Kane defensively. But I'll link to the video. Look at Infantino next to him, like squirming. And then he does him a little supportive clap. Harry, who's been fantastic. I think they perhaps made a mistake when they made him a defensive player. What do I know about Tuch? they took the league and they took their best player and they put him on defense then somehow no we gotta be offensive right so if you're if you're not watching Infantino sort of does a couple of like laughing shrugs and then he does like a little mini clap like taps out a clap on his hand it's quite like Trump's your scary boss meeting your girlfriend and he's like saying really inappropriate stuff and you're just a bit like yeah he's oh god he's such a little little suck up yeah I think we're all looking forward to him slithering off back to his Diamante Katari teat for a nuzzle but he actually has chucked out a couple of last minute cash grabs of course he has Gianni yeah so everyone I'm sure saw the players got rings if they won Super Bowl style rings yeah rather gaudy numbers you'd have to say let's have a look at them they've got diamond sapphires I think there's a little mini World Cup trophy on the side yeah I mean, to be honest, I don't mind this too much.
44:45It being like a... I sort of feel like it's a... The World Cup finals in the US do like a little US-themed thing. It's kind of a nice novelty thing for the players to have. Yeah. I mean, that's what the medal is, but yeah. I did learn on the website that... Oh, actually, sorry. Here, we've got a picture of Infantino with Rodri wearing his. And then the next pick, Infantino showing him how to put one on. So Gianni slipping it onto his index finger, which is an odd place to wear a ring yeah yeah is that I imagine Infantino's got one for himself probably 10 for himself he's gonna wear one on every finger yeah it looks a little bit like you know Vladimir Putin stole the Super Bowl ring from is it what was his name Robert Kraft the owner of Cadbury's Cadbury's and the Patriots yeah one of those two and he went for some like business meeting at the Kremlin and Putin asked to see his Super Bowl ring and then just put it on and just walked off and some bodyguards came in between him and Putin.
45:47That was the last time he saw his Super Bowl. There it goes. They're like, do not ask for it. I mean, presumably Putin's going to get one of these soon. Gianni's dishing him out. He loves a good finger ring, Gianni. Especially from Trump. Anyway, what I hadn't realized is it's just another fucking cash cow. So it turns out Spain get 30 rings, but they made 2 ,026. and so the remaining 1996 go on sale for$12 ,000 each which is another 24 mil to the old FIFA coffers 24 mil by the way that's what Everton have just paid for Tyreek George what would you rather have? 30 what? 1996 FIFA rings or Tyreek George it's tough probably the rings to be honest it would be I have to say I mean obviously I don't know what I would do with Tyreek George though wear him on your fingers he's got to come and live in my flat with me he could sort of get him cooking dinner and doing a bit of housework but I think after a while I'd find him quite annoying to have him around and probably harder to resell he probably holds his value better for a bit potentially but yeah it depends how good he is I wouldn't know how to sell a Premier League winger does he make a mean spag bol I hope so for that money can you imagine if you just saw someone and they just happened to have a super I'm interested to see if they sell yeah I mean to be honest they're the sort of thing that could end up being resold in like that's the idea I've bought the NFT obviously that's just that's obviously going to hold us yeah actually speaking of prizes very sad to lose Kevin Keegan this week obviously I think for our generation of fans probably most famous for his managerial stints England and Newcastle famously the I would love it interview in particular great Great entertaining football.
47:39Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was also a seriously talented player in his day. Won the Ballon d 'Or twice while he was at Hamburg in the late 70s. Although I'm not sure the Ballon d 'Or was quite the glitzy award that it is today. So this is Kevin recalling, receiving the award. For my first one, a guy wandered onto the pitch and handed me the trophy before a game somewhere. Very undistinguished. It was like a trophy from a pub darts competition. The metal's discoloured now and you can see the glue where the plaque's been fixed on. I had it valued once and the guy told me it was worth a tenner. Doubt Cristiano would use it as a door stub.
48:21That's great. Yeah. Do you reckon it's worth a tenner? I mean, surely for like, maybe like material value, yeah, but like... Also, the Ballon d 'Or wasn't, certainly in England, it wasn't really a thing people gave a fuck about until about five years ago, maybe. So if you got that valued in the early noughties, it was quite meaningless, I think. It was like, yeah, this French magazine gave me this prize. Cool. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, it does, it sort of shows how much the game's changed. That was what they were dishing out to the best player in the world. And now they're giving, they've made like 2026 gold rings.
48:5912 grand Super Bowl style rings for, yeah. Anyway. as does the fact that FIFA are selling a bit of the pitch from the final. So you can get some set in a glass case for£335, which I can't say if my team had won the World Cup, I don't really want the glass case, but like the bit of the bit of the bit of grass is quite cool. Yeah. Although don't let that picture deceive you. I hadn't realized how small the actual bit of grass is until I saw there's a hero edition, which comes in a case with a gold ball and a gold ticket. It's absolutely bollocks, but look at the bit of pitch. the size of a Lego piece yeah it's literally a small Lego piece that is crazy so they're selling that size piece for how much are they going to get for that well I don't know how many they're selling actually and I don't know how many are the Hero Edition which looks fucking rank why do I want a gold ticket but they're really going for it tell you I'd be annoyed if I was from New Jersey because the New Jersey taxpayer paid 13 million to upgrade the stadium for the World Cup including replacing the turf and then Johnny's just gone down with his trowel and just carved it all up and flogged it.
50:04Actually, it's not even their turf. No. Can they not reuse it somehow? Well, I think they play on Astro normally, don't they? American football? Yeah. Astro, do they? Yeah. Well, they're not doing much like, you just get dumped onto the ground, but you know what I mean? You're not doing like slide tackles. Does that not, fuck their knees? Well, they've got pads and shit on them. Ah, interesting. So you learn something new every day. Yeah, every pod. The referee, pretty mediocre game, I would say ruled out that Spain goal which was pretty ridiculous also accidentally discharged his spray foam which he had a premature ejaculation off the spray foam yeah yeah yeah highlighted the fucking normal time to be honest probably was boring fucking game yeah yeah yeah so that was a bit of an embarrassing moment for the ref although he has had another worse moment caught on camera because back in 2020 Slavko the ref who's from Slovenia he was arrested when police raided a sex party at a ranch in bosnia so as part of this this drugs and prostitution bust and the police seized four packets of cocaine 10 pistols over eight grand in various different currencies and three bulletproof vests during the raid uh we've got some footage here of the arrest do we see him yeah so there's all these men sat on a bed with their hands cuffed looking very sheepish looking very sheepish um and we'll see him and it'll be coming through the house it's not gonna be in his ref kit is it oh there is there is it's not in the ref kit the arrow oh they're all looking at the floor what's that there's a card with some it's not very much coke to be fair some dregs yeah uh pistols right it's a bit more scary and if we could just see the escort presume we're not going to um yeah that's it so when was that that was 2020 so covid worst of all none of them are taking a lateral flow exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah there's no social distancing going on a bit we should should say he was released without charge slavko right uh and police ended up treating him as a witness to this whole thing dare i ask what was he doing he said that he'd gone to this ranch for a business meeting.
52:29So he said, this is a quote from him. I found myself on this ranch by chance. I have my own company. I was in Bosnia Herzegovina for a business meeting. Not like any business lunch I've ever been to. But, you know. Maybe it's Bosnia. Is that what business lunches are like? Bring them back, I say. Yeah. Old school. Yeah. I want guns. I want to stop sitting in fucking Pratt drinking a coffee too late in the day. Yeah. And I want a gun on the table and some cocaine residue. Yeah. I don't know what his business is, actually. Yeah. Aren't you a referee? Yeah. I guess you do a bit of this, a bit of that.
53:07Definitely. When you say ranch, I'm sort of picturing like a sort of like American like... Yeah. It's a farm. A farm, isn't it? Yeah. I guess some sort of out of town. Quite weird anyway, isn't it? Yeah. To be... Yeah. All I'm saying is no smoke without fire. No cocaine residue without hungry referee noses. him and David Coot
53:33yeah but it's fake I'm actually going to address that Jack our producer just brought up the Robbie Williams thing it's not fake but so if you haven't seen there's a video of Robbie Williams after his performance in a TV studio and it looks like some coke falls out of his nose but I've watched it so many times I'm pretty certain it's falling out of his mouth he's come out and clarified it was a Nicorette mint okay yeah yeah he touches it and sticks it on his forehead which is confusing but he didn't rub it into his gums what Slavko would have done alright we've got all that final bollocks out of the way let's talk about the real world cup game the real triumph and that is the bronze medal match the real final third place is coming home yeah did you watch it?
54:17I half watched the second half I was in in the pub and we sat out in the garden I could hear during the first half cheer after cheer and then came inside and watched the second half which was probably the wrong half to watch although it was exciting yeah I'm so surprised by how many people watched I did not watch I don't watch third place playoffs it's worse than a friendly against San Marino it's a humiliation match yeah yeah yeah and it doesn't matter how many fucking goals go in also neither of those sides would have played like that no exactly yeah yeah and just like I mean it is I think it's nice that they give game time to people but it's sort of like sticking the sticking Dean Henderson sort of like treating him like a make a wish kid he just wants to wants to get a World Cup cap yeah it was nice giving Bakayo Saka 90 minutes I wouldn't have minded seeing that yeah yeah yeah at any other stage so he was fit he was he was fit to play 90 minutes and score the hat trick yeah yeah it's uh it was weird it did make me laugh that they also had the the B team of pundits on as well who?
55:21it was like Stephen Warnock Kelly Summers and Jason Muhammad yeah that's soccer aid stuff there's chunks on co-coms yeah yeah Mr Blobby who commentated? I actually don't know surely Jonathan Pearce gets that gig probably I mean does he is that more of a humiliation? yeah I guess it is actually I don't know who you don't want to be paid for that did they fly them out to the US for that? no that's Salford stuff BBC were finally in the stadium for the final but what about the third place game? surely not surely that's Salford stuff that was studio absolutely Salford back in Salford. Stephen Wardock's Stephen Wardock a ticket to the game I'm afraid.
55:58Kelly Summers is an interviewer isn't she? She does the like pitch side this doesn't she? Did you see that absolute wrong in England fan interviewed coming out of the semi-final? So he'd been at the game seen Argentina lose and here he is. I mean I'll link to the video because I cannot describe his body movements. He's fucked. But listen to what he says to Argentine media. España or Argentina? España España Fuck off Fuck off You cheating Or you cunt Go on You know Gustavo Me negos Argentina My papa Killed your papa Up the Falklands Yeah I've watched it About 30 times Me papa Killed two papas Also I think Possibly the guy Interviewing him Is not from Argentina He's Spanish I think he's Spanish He's wearing a Spain shirt He was saying something like No me gusta Argentina I think Yes Lost on that Up the Falklands Yeah look we've all lingered a bit too long on the Falklands Wikipedia this week but that's that's pushing it wonder how he's feeling about that interview yeah yeah he looks absolutely fucked talking more cheerful England fans got an update on the Queen of Benidorm so last week we talked about this England fan who was topless cartwheeling across the crowd before the game I guess or was it the Norway game and JP just by looking at the backdrop of the video guessed it was Benidorm and he was right so we had a text from Elliot on JP's Gossip Hotline who said, I can confirm it was Benidorm where that naked lass was.
57:24She was in the same bar as me. She got naked every goal and stood on a chair chanting, she was crackers. Yeah. I'm a fan of the tournament for me. Yeah. I actually saw another video of her where she was topless and she was banging out the dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, on her chest. Like leading the whole crowd. Yeah. Which is, she's having a good time. Yeah. That is the halftime show sorted when we host the Euros. Won't be requiring BTS, Justin Bieber. Thank you. We'll have Robbie Williams and then that. If you have had any fun, you know, fan sightings, experiences, seen a footballer around, JP's tips line is always open.
58:0407354 079 834. That's 07354 079 834. It's quite a good number, I think that, isn't it? Yeah, it's got a good flow to it. Do you know what I mean? I've seen worse. Few too many odd numbers to be really good. Actually, that next Euros, Jude Bellingham is still only going to be 25. He's young. Love it. He is young, isn't he? Speaking of Jude Bellingham, did you see his granddad on Mastermind in 1987? This clip was doing the round. And his specialist subject is Nigerian history from 1900 to 1966. 1900 to 1966. And he's good. Got to say, he does very well. But I enjoy a lot how the questions about Nigeria, If you think you're like, oh, it's going to be like Nigerian history, it is all about British colonial rule.
58:52Let's have a look. Your name, please? William Bellingham. Occupational. Schoolmaster. Your chosen specialised subject. History of Nigeria, 1900 to 1966. Mr Bellingham, you have two minutes on Nigeria from 1900 to 1966, starting. Now, which distinguished British administrator served as High Commissioner in northern Nigeria from 1901 to 6? Lugard. Correct. What is a name usually given to the form of devolved government pioneered by Ligard in northern Nigeria? Indirect rule. Correct. In May 1906, what important island and seaport became part of the newly formed colony and protectorate of southern Nigeria?
59:28Lagos. Correct. What is the name of the plateau area where Nigeria's main tin deposits are found? Correct. Which politician founded the Nigerian National Democratic Party had dominated the politics of Lagos for many years? Herbert Macaulay. Correct. In 1947, in what capacity did Hugh Fout serve in the Nigerian colonial government? Colonial secretary. Chief secretary. Yes, I'll accept that. Chief secretary. From 1951, which temporal and spiritual traditional ruler dominated the Northern People's Congress? There we go. I was quite hoping that even the one that's like, which important native spiritual ruler?
1:00:01And it's just like, Dr. Andrew Smith. The better one's the tin deposit. Yeah. It's like, you think that like, after a few of like, who serves as colonial high commissioner? You think it's like, this area of like plateau in Nigeria is going to be just like a geography question. Yeah. That's like, where are the tin, the valuable tin deposit? Where are those juicy natural resources? What's the most efficient way to extract wealth from the Nigerian plateau? There were a couple towards the end that were about indigenous Nigerians, I think. Yeah, eventually. This is really good. final thing on England Cole Palmer obviously he wasn't at the World Cup but to be fair he's been busy you see he's released his own rage of ice cubes yeah I saw that called Cold C-O-L-E apostrophe D not how I would have done it but he's selling a pack of four football shaped ice cubes for four quid four ice cubes so pound an ice cube pound a cube I had a look online you can get a mould that will make nine of those for less than four quid you know that you just put in your freezer you don't need to buy ice from cole palmer it's described as premium ice wait have you just discovered ice cube trays no that's what i'm saying an ice cube tray yeah because it's a ball i call it a silicon mold is that what made you think that i thought you were just like i've discovered these i found online you can buy these trays that you can put into the freezer i just mean a tray is cheaper you can make your own ice yeah yeah that is what i'm getting at yeah i wouldn't know because i've got an ice sommelier at home yeah just yeah knocking up A Cole Palmer just delivers it to Dor.
1:01:35Yeah. It's described as premium ice. It's ice. It's ice. He has got one that has electrolytes in it, but the main one is just ice. Just frozen water. How much is the electrolyte? Is that... Weirdly cheap. So to be fair to him, you can get a bag of two kilos for two quid, which is actually, I mean, it's a bit more than you would pay in a supermarket. It's about double, but it's not, it's not heinous. But the four quid ones are football shaped. I kind of rate it in the sense it's quite Rodney and Del Boy. Yeah. To just sell some ice. I think it's quite old school having just like branded products as well just like trying to make you make you millions like that Saka's got his Nando's hot sauce yeah but I think it is it is a bit mental that people are paying four quid for four ice cubes yeah it's on some like delivery platform where it like comes within 15 minutes so I guess you're like I need ice in my drink you don't want to wait for the you know these new tray things this new technology they've just invented freezers the press release makes it sound like Cole Palmer is fucking Johnny Ive in his Cupertino lab.
1:02:33He says, Palmer's taken a hands-on role in developing a product from the ground up, helping shape everything from concept and creative direction to packaging and content. What? I feel like that. Like, Cole, have you got any ideas? And he just goes, Ice. Yeah. I find it hard to believe that he's been sort of like fully in the... No, I don't think he's in the sort of storyboarding ideas room. Steve Jobs roll polo neck. Although actually, it's not the only surprising thing I've heard about Cole Palmer this week is have you heard Graham Souness what he had to say I did see this it's quite catty he was on Piers Morgan Uncensored Graham would you have taken Cole Palmer?
1:03:13I think he's outstanding yes I don't know what his character is I got a little insight into that in Dubai in February where he was extremely rude to someone in a restaurant now whether that's a big part I took a bit I feel like he just set that question up so he could say the restaurant thing. Yeah, that's quite a big allegation to just be throwing around. What do you think he did? Because he's like, I can't imagine him being rude. Maybe a bit. I think somebody probably asked him a question. I imagine just sort of a gormless lack of response. Quite monosupply. Which is a epic. What do you think he's a real stickler for good ice?
1:03:50Maybe that's it. Waiter, this ice is corked. Can you bring me and take it away and bring me the ice list? If he was rude about ice, I'm going to allow it. Yeah. I mean, that's his... Yeah. Yeah, it's like serving bad pasta to Italians, right? Yeah, he's serving bad ice to coal. Yeah. Anyway, I find that quite a serious allegation. Being rude to someone in a restaurant is... Yeah, I think it's a sign of bad character, isn't it? There was a pop-it story about Tom Daley, the diver, and his husband, Dustin Lance Black, where supposedly they left their pram. That kid was in a pram, and it was like in the way in a restaurant, kept getting in the way and they asked them to move it and Portbitch said that they turned the conversation to their net worth, which again is a very serious allegation.
1:04:36Don't know. Tom Daly always seems like quite a sweet guy. Yeah. That's a mental thing to do, if so. Net worth. Net worth. Net worth. You only really see net worth when, you know, sometimes you like Google people and there's those like weird websites that has like dating history and net worth. Or if you're on Forbes.com would be the only time. Yeah, yeah. uh actually speaking of behaving badly in a public place you know sometimes when you're in public toilets and they have that weird like toilet etiquette sign and there's always one of the illustrations that shows somebody crouching on the toilet and it says do not stand on the toilet like feet on feet on the toilet on the on the rim yeah you've probably wondered who Who is taking a shit like that?
1:05:25Why do they need to put this sign up? Well, turns out there is one man who has been defying the rules of bathroom etiquette across the land. And that is Mr. John Fury, Tyson's dad. So he was on a podcast this week where he revealed some of his toilet habits. Never used a toilet seat in my life. What, a ton of shit? Yeah. And that's my right hand to God. They're kicking up and I sit on that rim. The rim don't fit me. If I just sit on the rim, I'll fall through the toilet. No. I need the lid to just keep me stable. In my own own, I don't use that seat. I don't use the seat. I just kick it up. My own toilet's spotless, innit?
1:06:05So it doesn't bother me. What I used to do in public conveniences, I stand on the rim. So you stand up and take a shit stud up? No, no. I stand on the rim and squat down like I'm squatting outside. Dear God, that'd be a sight. I jump on the rim, squat down on the rim, and do my business. but my feet are on the rim. Why? A lot I want to enjoy about that. So one bit is he very quickly, so Tommy Fury, his son, is the one he's talking to. He very quickly sucks Tommy into this like bullshit macho game where Tommy's like, well, I would do that, but I'm too big. Couldn't fit on the rim. Some people, why do you want to?
1:06:39It's just such a, such a strange thing to do. Like the only place that that is acceptable way to shit is at those toilets they're in French campsites that are just a hole in the, a hole in the ground. You have to squat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But why, like, also John Fury's a big lad yeah but I can't imagine many toilets can take that he did do time is it a hangover from that like that he had a shit maybe shit bog yeah I don't know to be fair my old man switched out the toilet my parents had normal toilet and got one of those you know like you ever use like a public toilet they're just like a stainless steel one like that yeah here's one in your house he's got one like that that's what he shits on so it's not dissimilar why don't know you just like it is it one of the like really cheap shit yeah the black like toilet seats that have like the toilet seat doesn't come all the way around it just goes yeah but it's like the base is just that like stainless steel like public toilet thing why I don't know I guess it's again it's a John Fury like masochism doesn't Adrian Charles has a urinal in his house does he yeah which I actually quite rate in the bathroom I guess so yeah what's the point I mean urinals are quite I like yeah but like They're a bit rank as well, aren't they?
1:07:52And your house. I do. I prefer going for a business ride. Yeah, I suppose. Well, you just stand on the seat. I just stand on the seat. I just go on the floor normally. To be fair, the one bit of bathroom kit that I would like is the bum gun. The bum gun, yeah. It's better. Toilet paper's barbaric. It's backwards. Stone age. You want a bum gun? Yeah. Do you reckon John Fury bum gun? I'll be honest, I'm not sure he does anything. Yeah. I think John Fury would be such a strange person to walk through the door where you know if someone's left the door unlocked and you come in and John Fury's just crouching on it yeah oh what you go oh sorry and he's facing you yeah yeah it reminded me of your friend who was in a night had to go for a shit in a nightclub which is already a bad enough situation to find yourself in and then while they were mid shit someone kicked the door in threw up on them and then punched him in the face.
1:08:48Yeah, they were anticipating. So I actually, it's a friend's friend who was the puker and the puncher. So he needed to puke in a nightclub, went into the box, all the urinals, all the sinks taken, everyone, you know, and it's just packed and he panicked. He kicked open the cubicle, puked. And there was a guy in there doing a shit. It's already quite crap having to do a shit in a nightclub. And then this guy pukes on him and then anticipating that he was going to kick off, just...
1:09:14you're going home aren't you imagine how can this situation get any worse you're doing a shit in a nightclub yeah poor guy vomited on and then punching it's quite a John Fury move I guess yeah you wouldn't do that to him if he was the shitter if he was squatting over Lou that's probably the most off balance you're going to get him you want to just sort of scythe him down punch him in the leg and his trousers around his ankles yeah it's a good time if you knock him off the toilet then he's puke through his legs and then knock him backwards. Yeah. And then run, run for God's sake. Yeah. We talked last week about Senegal's doctor being a gynecologist, team doctor, no sports science degree.
1:09:53Yeah. Apparently the whole Senegal setup was a right shit show. So I've spoken to some people in the know who were among the camp at this World Cup. And apparently the Senegal FA have racked up a massive bill, unpaid bill, hundreds of thousands of dollars for their hotels, travel, everything. Still unpaid at time of recording. Wow. And apparently among the line items were a number of taxis and rooms for Senegalese FA Blazers to get escorts. Really? Just a little nugget for you. While they're over there. Yeah, that's quite a scoop. Yeah, it's a bit of journalism. Yeah. Finally, Andros Townsend.
1:10:34He keeps getting better. I've got to say he's doing this well. He's like weird, whatever this is. his path to Supreme CBD. So his new thing is he's making his own toothpaste. Why? I think he thinks like the normal toothpaste full of chemicals. Probably about the fluoride or something, isn't it? But he posted his recipe, which includes four tablespoons of clay, a tablespoon of baking soda, a tablespoon of coconut oil, 15 drops of peppermint oil, and two to four tablespoons of water. So it's mostly clay. Clay. Is that bad to brush your teeth with clay? I think I'll be sticking to Colgate apparently it'll give you the right texture you need to scrub which is half the game and then what's doing the actual cleaning in there the baking soda I guess so because whenever you get a stain on anything it just says put baking soda on it is baking soda good on your teeth?
1:11:25I'd have thought to be honest I'd have thought that would be worse we put it in food don't we? I'm waiting for him to now do the other toiletries so like you know bird shit just makes a great exfoliator or making his own condoms out of pig's platters, which I can see coming around the corner. Old school. Yeah. I tried once, um, a friend had, uh, Here we go. No, no, the, uh, it's like a Korean skincare one with, it's made with, um, snail or slug slime. Oh yeah. It's actually really nice. Does that work? Isn't it a bit sticky? No, but I mean, I presume that's not the only ingredient. Yeah, you've got the clay, obviously.
1:12:01You've got the clay, yeah, and the baking soda. Because there was moisturiser made from foreskins. really yeah that's where they that's where they go mate people wonder where they go is this like when you know when you'd you'd get like a mcdonald's chicken nugget and your mum would be like oh that's you know that's just that's just the bum hole that's the bum it's the bum hole in the beak yeah no yeah the moisture you know that's just the four skins
1:12:28but like you gotta you know make use to them it's like don't old horses get turned into glue or something I don't know if that still happens but you know foreskin's got to be recycled too well we've got to make do with what we've got yeah why not yeah you know on the not using bog roll thing I was actually looking up in pre-colonial Americus the corn on the cob which I guess is native to the Americus was a very popular way of wiping your bum really yeah both the both the cob and the husk okay so like once the just twist it so is the corn still on or has the corn been removed no no no I think it's still on once you've eaten oh yeah because again what are you doing with those they don't go anywhere surely I can get it if you've eaten the corn already and then you know sometimes they're a bit dry oh that's softer than when the corn's on the cob would you say but apparently they're using the husk as well the husk and then I guess that's reusable isn't it you go and dip it in the river yeah or whatever I'm sure Andros Townsend will tell you he'll be drinking he's like crouching on the toilet with his I predict by the next Euros Andros Townsend will have drunk his own piss on camera there's my prediction alright well on that bombshell I think that's all we've got time for apologies to our sort of Irish and Scottish and all the other listeners who aren't England fans who've had to endure a lot of desperate hope followed by some quite sour grapes we will be back to normal next week it'll be you know threesomes in the Australian cricket team and all the rest but I hope you enjoyed this I would apologise to the Argentine fans but I don't think any of them have made it this far in this episode or fan yeah apologies to them too love you really we'll see you next time what have we got out we've got oh Patreon this week is Quagliarella so every week on Patreon we do a deep dive into the mad life of a sports person and this is the story of Fabio Quagliarella who joined Napoli his dream move his hometown club and then it all turned very scary as his life was haunted by a terrifying stalker.
1:14:34It's mad. It's a true crime special. A real true crime special, yeah. It's good. It's a great and bad story. Yeah, it's a dark one, I would say, but we found some jokes. Mainly about noncing, actually. Is that really cool? So if you're not already a member, patreon.com forward slash Upshot Towers is just three quid a month and you can listen to that. You get bonus episode every week. No fucking ads. Yeah, and otherwise, we'll see you next time. don't forget to get your upshot hat which is in the show notes there's a link limited edition only a hundred on sale only this week once they're gone they're gone yeah thanks a lot for watching and listening and we are of course sponsored by Injury Lawyers for you see you next time goodbye
1:15:21I recently got back from a holiday in Balec in Turkey it was brilliant but I did spend it looking longingly at the golf courses in the area. In reality, if I'd taken my clubs, I probably would have come back from that family holiday single. It's a brilliant place, stunning beaches, five-star hospitality in some of the best hotels on earth. But for me, just getting out on those courses would have been the icing on the cake. Search Turkey on TripAdvisor now to book your ultimate golf holiday in the Turkish Riviera.
From the publisher
On the show today:
- Riots on the streets of Buenos Aires.
- Phil Neville shirt swap humiliation.
- World Cup final ref’s sex party scandal
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Links from the show:
Argentina fans crying - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ujl54LXPYcw
Scaloni - https://x.com/footballontnt/status/2079125893415362583
Spanish pilot - https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/1v266ha/a_spanish_pilot_made_a_plane_full_of_argentine/
Buenos Aires riots - https://x.com/Reforma/status/2079073017280291251
Argentina rugby shirts - https://shorturl.at/Y0I1j
Louis Vuitton trophy case - https://shorturl.at/RxCFL
Upshot Infantino - https://shorturl.at/dfAhM
Upshot World Cup map - https://shorturl.at/VbU7v
AKA Rocky - https://www.instagram.com/p/Da_N3NTuTr1/
Infantino clap for Trump - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccercirclejerk/comments/1uzfgsl/trump_on_kane_they_tuchel_perhaps_made_a_mistake/
Ring - https://shorturl.at/xv7Vq
World Cup final pitch grass - https://shorturl.at/TVsxS
Vincic arrest - https://x.com/MIL0SEVIC/status/2078256308520730667
England fan - https://www.instagram.com/reels/Da1Hqc8PVnV/
Bellingham grandad on Mastermind - https://www.tiktok.com/@theshadeborough/video/7663559077552737558
Souness - https://www.instagram.com/reels/Da4GizupZ5q/
John Fury - https://www.instagram.com/p/Da0BCOdAimh
Robbie Williams - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbBDhT3I270/?igsh=MXA2d3ljajkyZnhubg==
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