Bellingham family banned from the dressing room | Extra shot

0:00This message is brought to you by AppleCard. Shave ice by the beach A trip to the state fair And a throwback flick at the local drive-in They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list They're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay Apply for Apple Card now and use In Minutes with Apple Pay Subject to credit approval Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Terms and more at applecard.com Morning Decisions How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel, maybe. Or a white chocolate mocha.

0:38Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. Hear that? That's now Crispy and McCrispy Strips meeting creamy Caesar sauce. Sounds extra crispy. Caesar sauce at McDonald's for a limited time. Welcome back to Extra Shot, the podcast about the funniest stories in sport. This week on the show today, Neymar's frightening showdown with the ultras. Bellingham family are banned from Dortmund's dressing room. And the locker room scrap that left a wonder kid fainting in terror. My name's Jack. Zach is here. Hi, Jack. Hello. JP's back. Hello, geezers.

1:27A team are back The old guard rolling back in There was quite a lot of positive comments For the makeshift line up last week Yeah you know I didn't want to bring that up myself Jack but I think we pulled it out of the bag Yeah we played the kids and we got the result Won't be happening again You've been grafting hard you have I've been you know someone's got to Come into the office and keep the ship Going haven't they We can't all be on the beach You're off next week aren't you I'm enjoying a well earned break next week but yeah well guys the Premier League's back as well has been for a while but it feels like it's really back after that Newcastle Liverpool game on Monday nights did you watch it?

2:06it was a fucking belter so good thriller real thriller obviously the game itself was like it was like watching people playing FIFA I thought just super direct just sprinting at each other fouling wasn't very tactical was it? it was just intense in our newsletter we described it as the spiciest meeting between Geordies and Scousers since King Oswald of Northumbria was slain by Pender of Mercia at Massafeld in 642 AD. Yeah, there was a lot of something on this pod, don't you? There was a lot of bad blood since that, really. You could see that in the air on Monday night. Yeah, well, they were just thinking of that.

2:41Yeah, that great Anglo-Saxon battle. I'm surprised they didn't say that on Sky Sports, actually. I think they did at one point. That's the sort of thing Peter Drury on commentary would have brought up. Him and us. Who was it so hard? This was Anglo-Saxon versus Pagans. Oh, right. You want to go? I'm actually interested. Yeah. Pagan King, Anglo-Saxon King. Sort of, I think there was some sort of unification happening in the north of England. Okay. No Vikings, to my knowledge. Oh, right. Is this post? This is later than Vikings. I don't know. Correct us. I think Vikings are knocking around. Anyway, the game obviously had this big cauldron atmosphere because of the Eastside transfer.

3:17Yeah, it's really getting hot, isn't it? There's quite a good clip of the Liverpool players getting off the team bus. the boos from the fans.

3:32Love it. I mean, fair enough booing them, but Liverpool haven't really done anything wrong. Ryan Kronberg definitely hasn't done anything wrong. They're just trying to buy a very good player who would quite like to go. You can't pin it on Curtis Jones either way. I mean, that's like a Milan derby. That is crazy to have that many fans outside of bus going fucking mental. I think we all want that sort of like pantomime. Yeah. Games back. And actually WWE was in Newcastle the night before. And there's a wrestler, JD McDonough, who ripped his shirt off in front of all these Geordies and unveiled a Liverpool shirt with Isak's name on the back.

4:12Got the clip here. We'll link to it.

4:24that's great it's pretty good just to rile him up yeah love it apparently he I don't know if it was him or another wrestler when they did Manchester he sang you'll never walk alone so maybe he's a Liverpool fan yeah Zach you mentioned last week that Newcastle fans when it first broke that Isak wanted to leave they hung up signs at St James' Park saying Isak is a pure rat yeah signs is slightly stretchy I think it was a bed sheet that someone had daubed in black paint Mark a pen Yeah, guerrilla marketing. Yeah, exactly. Well, those guys are now branching out. So some enterprising street sellers in Newcastle were flogging homemade Isak Is A Rat t-shirts before the game.

5:03I love that. So, you know, those Isak shirts that it's like the Ikea logo, but his name is t-shirt. And then in market pet beneath it, just gone Is A Rat. And they've got some bucket hats on the go as well. That's quite creative. Do you think that whoever that t-shirt seller is got an order of 10 ,000 Isak t-shirts? I see this now, just like, fuck, I've got to shift these somehow. All week with a sharpie. He's a rat. Yeah, the Ibiza final boss was in the crowd to watch the game, obviously. I mean, he is absolutely everywhere at the moment, isn't he? Jordy. His haircut would fit in in 642 AD. Yeah.

5:37In the Battle of Massiveld. The guy next to him in that picture sort of got the same beard trim, hasn't he? I think that's why the Jordy thing. Do you think that's his dad, doesn't he? He's Jordy, isn't he, final boss, whatever his fucking name is. I was wondering like because I saw he did meet Bonnie Blue we said like I hope he doesn't you were really disappointed about that weren't you too soon but where does he go from now like summer's basically over well he's just signed his boohoo deal hasn't he has he so he's got a load of Abifa merch coming out and I guess you just ride it for as long as you can but how do you ride do you do like game shows and shit I think you just strictly maybe he had some tunes out with a DJ I really did I told you about that yeah and he's been at every single club in Abifa but just ride it for as long as you can He's got another month in Ibiza before, like all the closing stuff.

6:20But then... What did you do? Yeah. He popped up at Creamfields at the weekend, the festival. Wasn't that the same weekend as this? I think it was this weekend. I suppose you can do everything. Why the hell not? To me, he's drifting porn woods. Yeah. I think you need to DM him, mate, and manage his career. Yeah, I'm available. Yeah, what else do you do? It's that Bevo guy as well. He did porn. He's just gone into porn. I guess you could do a podcast I don't know like I've never really heard him actually speak I've seen one there was a the video of him with Bonnie Blue was just it was just it was quite awkward it was yeah what do you say to each other and there was like a ring of people watching them talk yeah you alright you been here before I suppose he's just like you know he's getting paid to basically vape and dance at a minute it's not bad actually it's going to be Freshers Tour isn't it in a month true that's the next move oh true yeah club appearances and also there was a rumour that he's learning to DJ as well so if you've got the tune then you might that's actually a good move I think it's DJing yeah as for the summer's other bitter feud that was also playing out on the weekend because it was Palace Forest who have obviously been in this this row over the Europa League places wasn't such a thriller as Liverpool's 3-2 win over Newcastle although there was a really good banner a bit more creative than the marker pen in Newcastle.

7:47So the Palace fans unveiled this banner which showed Forrest's owner, Maranakis, holding a gun to Morgan Gibbs-White's head in reference to that video. You know that video of Morgan Gibbs-White we talked about where he said, I'm staying. Was Maranakis at the game? I think he's at every game, isn't it? I mean, he really wouldn't lie at that. No, I mean, it's got a speech bubble as well where he says, Maranakis is not involved in, and then lists some crimes. Obviously, the picture is totally inaccurate. Maranakis would never wear shoes like that. And he's a bit skinny. I always love the idea of them making these banners because it's enormous.

8:22Is it someone with a warehouse and they've got the whole thing? If you compare that to the Isaac tea. Yeah, I mean, that's a lot easier. Because that's not a bed sheet, is it? No, that's a big flag. Yeah, that's properly done. The ultras are quite like that, though. They're quite passionate all over it, aren't they? I find a lot of Tifo's fucking lame, but that's really good. It's creative and funny. Props. Possibly libelous. I mean, but who's he going to come after there? You can't write a letter to the ultras, can he? You'd be surprised.

8:54That is sort of our MO as well, really, isn't it? Funny and potentially libelous. He's been on our toes there a bit. He is right up on street. Speaking of that Morgan Gibbs-White announcement video, have you seen the Granit Chaka one? Obviously, it's a couple of weeks old when he signed for Sunderland this summer. So I'd never seen it. And then someone called Accomplished One posted on the Upshot podcast subreddit. Check it out if you haven't been there already. Love it. I mean, it's basically one of those interviews where it's like a Q &A, but they asked Chaka to complete the sentence. So it's like, the thing I'm most excited about is, and he does it, and it's very clear that he has never heard of Sunderland or any of their players.

9:33Here's the clip. Finish the sentence. I chose Sunderland because... A big challenge. Sunderland is well known for... Grave Cup. I'm excited to play alongside Everyone I can't wait to play against Everyone My first conversation with the manager was Amazing When I told my family they said Very excited When I think about the stadium of light I picture Fire Fucking hell Amazing Fire Blink twice if you're alright Yeah when I told my family about Sunderland they were very excited I mean the stadium of light and fire comment is a bit weird isn't it it's like where are you gonna go that's like he's only just that's the first time he's heard it's called the stadium of light yeah I thought he was really keen though because didn't I maybe I'm getting this mixed up I thought I saw an interview where he was like or saw a quote from him being like it's Sunderland or nothing yeah that's so random which yeah I think it's just like they're in the Premier League yeah And he wants to be in the Premier League.

10:43Yeah. No one's quite explained why Granit Xhaka was so keen to go there, but clearly it wasn't for the city or the club or the players. Never heard of any of them. Maybe he watched the fly on the wall Amazon dock Sandalyn Till I Die. Yeah, which would be very close. Yeah. Good signing. But he was betting for Leverkusen. Like Champions League, keep competing for the Bundesliga. And they were begging him to stay. They were begging him to stay. Maybe something's happened in Leverkusen. Ten Hag. Ten Hag. Yeah, Ten Hag. Didn't want to get dragged. dragged down with ten hog. It does remind me a bit of that Justin Bieber interview when he's really young, to be fair, and they're like, do you have a message for your fans in Germany?

11:20And he's like, Germany? What is that? And they're like, Germany? Your name's German? He goes, I don't know what that is. Next question.

11:31Did anyone do carnival at the weekend? I did not. I put my head around the door in the sense that I live just off it. So I sort of got back to London late on Monday and it was kind of inescapable. Yeah. And quite enjoyable, I've got to say. I was a bit worried about your car for some reason. I couldn't park, Jamie. I spent ages trying. Someone had literally just parked in the middle of the road, several people in the middle of the road, and some of them had disabled passes, which I'm not really buying. They were like buses stopped for hours. It was chaos. Yeah, I can see your house from mine and I could see that bus just sort of sitting there for like five hours.

12:10Offered him a cup of tea, he turned it down. Did you? Yeah, it was actually, so I got back and then I needed milk for my son and went to the shop and in the Tesco, they'd got rid of all the milk and just had red stripe. That like, is it tonic wine? Just where the milk goes. I was like, any milk? No. Not today, sir. No milk in the... Nah. Don't eat milk when you've got rum. It is carnage where we live. Yeah, it's probably... And then, so I was sort of going to bed and I was outside my window, loads of people on the street just chilling, like not causing any trouble, just like having a nice wind down.

12:39and there was a couple right next to my house just below the window who had one of those massive laughing gas, fast gas things. And they were doing these huge balloons. And then when they finished the balloon, they just snog passionately for like 90 seconds and then just do another balloon. There's nothing like a high snog. I was just like, England, my England. I could have stayed up all night watching the street. It was great. But that's as close as I got this year. Yeah. You go in? I got back from Margate at four o 'clock and I opened up my kitchen window and I could hear welcome to jam rock blazing and I just sat out the window for a bit and I was like could I go in and yeah I pussied out unfortunately never recovered from that year we went in and someone threw molten chocolate on our t-shirts well it was multi-layered that because I I really planned my outfit that year and I had a full white outfit with a nice little white that's a little thing going on I thought it was really cool and me and you saw that little gap at the end of the float and we thought oh hang on we'll just follow this float all the way through and we got absolutely splattered didn't we molten chocolate why are they spraying chocolate it's a thing it's a thing so um yeah i spent sunday in my flat which sort of puts me uh within one of two types of west londoners over bank holiday weekend so you know if you're the type to barricade your windows you know uh you know sit on the the street whatsapp group we're looking at the rumors of the defacing revelers on the street or you know if shit gets really bad you know head home to your mother-in-law's for a tummy rub and a sunday roast which i have been you do that most weekends i do i do i got invited back this weekend as well but i didn't bother um or you load up on magnum tonic wines you go and get yourself some rum and tings you go and get yourself some laughing gas and you get fucking stuck in and it turns out that is exactly what our friend Cole Palmer has done this weekend.

14:31So Cole hit the streets of W11 in a face mask. He had some glasses on, a dreadlock and a Rasta hat. And we've got a good photo of him here. And somehow, despite you can't see anything of his face, he still looks exactly like Cole Palmer. Yeah, he's got a very distinctive like gait, doesn't he? I've seen a version of the picture we're looking at now where you can see his legs and they really give it away. Yeah, he's just so lanky, isn't he? He just reminds me of that guy you kind of get stoned with at uni. You know, like, he comes around your flat like once a week and he's got some really good weed.

15:10Do you think he got recognised though? Presumably not. There was a photo I saw on Reddit, which was, no, a video on Reddit which says, I knew it was you, Cole Palmer, as he was walking past. He's got quite a distinctive walk, hasn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think you'd still do pretty well if he walked past you to recognize that is Cole Palmer yeah also he's got a groin injury at the minute so I'm like I don't want you twerking all over time so is that a daggering injury groin been there my friend go home Cole ice it up no this is this is how you recover yeah great yeah nice good on him do you see he's he's trying to trademark his nickname Cole Palmer so he's he's applied for the trademark in like loads of categories So clothing, toiletries, food, toys, alcoholic beverages, which could all be called Cold Parma.

16:02I was going to say beverages you can see happening. Yeah. But I was thinking like Alka-Pop. Yeah. Or like WKD vibes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I like that. Isn't it? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, something like that. But a Bordeaux-based winery called Chateau Parma have taken objection to this. because they're obviously worried that he's going to, you know, release a Cabernet Sauvignon with notes of jam sandwiches and chippy chips, which I think they're mistaken, but they've objected. He's now in like this legal dispute with this chateau. I feel like there's room for both of them in that market. Yeah, I think they're targeting different audiences, aren't they?

16:38Yeah, just a bit. I could see him doing some aftershave or something like that. Yeah, cold. Cold. And it's the bottle shaped by the celebration with the arm rub. That's good, yeah. People love that celebration. I think you build it around that. Yeah. It reminded me that Rebecca Vardy trademarked the phrase Wagatha Christie, which she didn't even fucking come up with. She was like, not Wagatha, right? She's the perpetrator. But she trademarked it in several categories, including household knives and electric mincers. Where is she going with that? Does she think she's going to become like some sort of...

17:10It never went anywhere, but I guess kitchenware? Wagatha? I mean, obviously these things, you just do it in as many categories as possible. Yeah, fair enough. If you want to do something later, you do it. but yeah quite brazen of her because Wagatha's Killeen really yeah yeah also like I don't know is it a good brand name for kitchen stuff really like it's very much tied to one particular story that she doesn't come out of a very yeah you could do a good board game yeah very good board game but I don't I don't associate her with like kitchenware or food or anything like that yeah but if she did do a sort of it wouldn't be hard yeah she's just covering her ass yeah I don't know who the market is for Rebecca Vardy kitchenware I'd buy a Cole Palmer jam sandwich making machine.

17:51100%. I was going to say grilling machine, but I don't think he does that shit. Cole Palmer ice bath, maybe. Yeah, that's pretty good, actually. I'd buy the cologne and I'd buy the Alka-Pop. Alka-Pop is genius. That's your vibe. Obviously, if you're not at a carnival like Cole Palmer and you're of a certain age, you might well find yourself at Reading and Leeds festivals, which were on over the bank holiday. and among the thousands of horny teenagers was jolyan lescott who's djing at reading we've got a clip of it michael richards is also in the crowd i don't know if this yeah look we can see michael walking through and there's who's mceing that's not jolyan is it no jolyans are the decks yeah there he is why like his front row Jolien Lesko is quite a random pick for this.

18:44Yeah. I mean, it looks, I'm not going to name the brand because I'm not going to do their dirty work, but it's a well-known alcoholic beverage brand. But surely you get someone cooler than him to DJ. Yeah. Or like in the marketing meeting, like, should we get Jolien Lesko? Yeah, that's a really good idea. How many names do they go through? Just going down the list of like, Lee Catamol's busy. Gary Cahill is retired from DJing. I guess you need so many DJs don't you I didn't know he did DJ but I just strange pick I'm just imagining them all sitting around in the marketing meeting just like Bell, Julian, let's go again all the names crossed off on the whiteboard Matt Letizio is done he's been snapped up by Supreme City I mean Grealish would have been a good one he DJs as well doesn't he I remember him saying he's learning I think that's out of their budget yeah going for julian let's go yeah maybe he's busy playing football now grealish yeah did you guys ever do reading back in the day i did yeah when i was 16 i did it when i was 16 a couple of years ago yeah i mean it was one of those ones like i'm 30 odd now right and you go and i still remember this like magical place from when i was 16 and i went at like plus 30 and i just felt like a fucking paedophile yeah yeah everyone is so young it's like that graduation you know do they They still do the riot night thing on the Sunday night where they like burn people's tents and shit.

20:11They push all the bogs over and then they just burn all the tents. And everyone's going, angry mob. You're not even angry. It's fucking mad. It's just like, yeah, I remember that just being like a quite like exciting. It's like, oh, is it going to happen again? And it always does, I think. It did when I only went once. 16 year olds running around covered in poo. I shut myself there actually on the last night. It was so shit. What, because of the mob? Yeah, I saw them coming for you. I saw the pitchforks coming. Jack just hiding in his tent Can you imagine now If you went to a festival And then the last night There was just a riot Where people set fire To your friends You just go Do it Do do it Yeah Especially less girls Being attacked They sometimes as well There was a thing I think it was last year The year before There were kids in Balaclavas Who'd recorded videos Of themselves going We're going to come And stab your tents up And then they airdropped it To everyone they could In the camp Jesus That is terrifying But it is kind of safe Isn't it And controlled Ish I mean Leeds is a bit more chilled but I think Reading is still pretty exactly at least everyone's actually enjoying music and being nice to each other yeah fuck yeah I remember it being quite quite hectic yeah I'm not gonna go again it was so bad because then I I walked about 20 minutes to like the shower block to the help and they shut the showers on the last night maybe because of the angry mobs and so I was like what am I gonna do and there was a security guy there and he was like there's a very cold tap about half an hour walk from here I was gonna say it does actually lead on to a bit of a river so you could have had a little I threw my boxes in the river Did you?

21:37I wouldn't condone but I was about 16 Did you use the tap? I had to use the very cold tap Oh so What did you do? I threw my boxes in the river bagged up my shorts I must have gone back to the tent to get spares and then I sort of yeah under a nice cold tap just washed off Must be quite refreshing actually just to have a bit of nice cold water I didn't feel on your ring I felt fucking miserable Sunday after like four days at the festival I think what had happened You get back to your tent for a clean change of pad is just a little inferno. I'm naked and they've burned all my fans. I think someone had possibly sold me some laxatives as a drug or something.

22:17All right, well, if you like serious stories like that, you are in for a treat after this episode because before we go on to the main stories of the week, I thought I'd just mention on Patreon, out now, we've done, it's Extra Shot, but with the major news stories of the week. So like this episode where we talk about the big stories, the funniest stories but not sport just major news weird and wonderful stuff around the world so what are we going to be talking about Zach we've got so we've got the Prime Minister of Armenia whipping his knob out in church lovely we've got the Fox News addict who moved his family to Russia and instantly got sent to the Ukrainian front lines life's tough and JP Lockwood meets the man in Colombia who's growing cucumbers in his arse I can't wait yeah no it's it's going to be very fun yeah we're going to we're going to be wearing suits we're going to be in our newsreader suits not sure we'll look like I was going to say Hugh Edwards another newsreader who are the newsreaders Sophie Rayworth Fiona Bruce we're not going to look like any of them JP's the weather girl yeah I'd actually love that in a nice pencil skirt maybe I could do a little weather section yeah you should anyway so we'll be doing all that and you can listen to it right now if you're a Patreon member or sign up patreon.com forward slash Upshot Towers.

23:38All right, but let's keep talking sports news. Before we get into that, we've got some football for you. So Neymar, he's been back at his boyhood club Santos for eight months now, rejoined in January. And, you know, when he returned, I think Neymar was probably envisioning this glorious homecoming grandmothers fainting in the streets hordes of adoring fans showering him with homemade brigadieros delirious mothers holding up their babies for him to kiss but it's fair to say it hasn't panned out quite like that so santos are currently mired in a relegation battle they're 15th at the moment two points off off the relegation zone And Neymar, he's missed a lot of games so far through just a variety of injuries.

24:30We told you back in March about his outing to Rio Carnival, where it didn't go down particularly well with fans, particularly because after the carnival, his helicopter was spotted landing at this ranch outside Sao Paulo, where later on that evening, buses of escorts were seen arriving and being shepherded into the house by none other than Neymar's dad. No people, just brasses. And you're measuring them by the busloads. That's how many people there are. Several buses. Can't count them. So there were a lot of Neymar's mates who were at this party as well alongside these escorts. and the guests later reported to the press that they'd been partying with Neymar.

25:17One even claimed that they'd shagged him. When the story broke in the Brazilian press, Neymar decided it was time to play his trump card and he revealed that, in fact, he had lent his helicopter to his famed lookalike, Aigon Oliveira, and that it was Aigon who was nobbing escorts at the party. Funny that. We're looking at a picture of the two of them now. Anyway, three days later, Neymar ended up pulling out of a big semifinal against Corinthians, which Santos went on to lose. So obviously this didn't go down well at all with the fans. And since then, he's missed several more games through injury.

26:01So one of Brazil's top pundits recently criticised him for treating Santos like a beach club. and things really looked like they'd hit rock bottom for him a few weeks ago when Neymar got into this really heated touchline row with a fan after another defeat we've got a clip of it here really squaring up to each other

26:34so that that fan later explained that he says Neymar told me to shut up and insulted me saying if I was a man I should go to the changing room to talk I mean if I'm invited sure um so yeah relationship with the fans is not looking good he doesn't do himself any favors does he? Do you think he did anything wrong there? I mean just having an altercation with the fan if you're on that sort of form probably isn't going to do you any favours. Yeah. I've got views on him I'll share after. Okay. Yeah. I'm a fan. Of course you are. So that seemed like a pretty low point in his relationship with the fans but things reached a new Nadia last weekend when Santos were hammered 6-0 by their relegation rivals Vasco da Gama.

27:19Neymar actually left the pitch in tears I feel like he cries a lot. He does cry a lot. He does look very sad. Apparently the Santos fans turned their back on the stadium as the team were walking off. Getting really bitchy. That'll get him. Ouch. Not your back. It reduced him to tears. Yeah, but it doesn't take much. The manager was sacked after that. result and Neymar actually said in an interview that their performance was total shit and a disgrace. He also said the fans have every right to protest obviously without violence but if they want to curse and insult us they are in their right which is exactly what they did because two days later ultras burst into Santos's training ground and demanded to speak to Neymar and his teammates so they basically came came through the gates and surrounded the players and coaching staff gave them this massive bollocking brazilian press also said that they were threatening them with violence we can watch a clip of it now but yeah it's sort of just a showdown you've got all the whole santos squad and the manager coaching staff and this like army of ultras just yeah do We know what they were saying.

28:46They, so, yeah, I think it was, you know, it was quite middle of the road. That was your Portuguese. It was, you know, just like, you're not giving 100 % for the badge. That kind of, that kind of stuff. It's bloke in the pub during the World Cup talk. Why are you passing back to the keeper? Forward. Where's the passion? Well, you don't think it was tactical? I don't think so. But, you know, I mean, any of that must be pretty shit. I actually think tactical input would be more annoying. Yeah. Yeah. I actually reminded me of the time Ultras was when Alan Pardew was managing Adder Den Haag in the Netherlands and the Ultras broke into the training ground and hijacked his training session.

29:27And we've got a picture of it here. They brought a flip chart with them. So the players are just having to stand around while this group of guys in Stole Island jackets are like with a flip chart talking about how they should invert the fullbacks.

29:43what i also love about these these things and i swear it never used to happen until like like the pardew one was sort of one of the first of the genre but it seems to happen a lot now because i guess other fans see it what i love most about it is the players having to do the poker face like yeah thank you yeah i mean they can't be flipping or it's just gonna get worse i feel like some countries they're just the ultras are just taken much more seriously like you're not gonna get that in the uk you're not gonna get near the players yeah yeah but like you know, Brazil and in Italy and places like that.