Chloe Kelly on the sesh | Extra shot

28:37Did they keep the dog anywhere? What do you mean they kept the dog? It's a twitching bunny. I mean, if they bought it, what do you want to do with it? Well, I don't know. I don't know whether they did it. It's a shame for it to go to waste. What do you think we're having tonight? I've brought pickle down. I'm not letting my missus listen to this episode. She won't like that. She will not like that. It's the sudden realisation. I don't know whether they buried it or had a little funeral for it. I don't think they hate to cook it. They think they're there for the cutest moment of their trip. In fact, they're there for the most harrowing.

29:16Scarring. Those two have got some stories from that trip. That registers at a fire on the scale. They've got some twisted cookies. I like sort of horror film stuff, you know, where it suddenly changes, you know. You think you're on a nice fishing trip. Yeah, I think I'm going on a fishing trip with a pod and instead it's like Blair Witch Project. It's getting a bit squeal piggy squeal out here. There's rats everywhere. Do you feel the rats are a bit of a warning sign? Jack asked me to play find the trouser snake in the tent. Find the maggots. Find the maggot bait. Speaking of brutal, I've got an exciting moment for us.

29:52The Upshot is working on its very own hot sauce with Lou's Brews, the geniuses behind several of the nation's hottest sauces, and some quite nice ones as well, I should say. so yeah end of the year we're thinking of doing a hot sauce but in the meantime we're going to do a little ad for them now where we taste a range of lose-brews hot sauces going to go from mild to wild and they also have one most of them are quite nice but they also have one called Anal Vomit 3 which I believe is quite hot which we could use some fishing bait if it goes wrong I think it might cause all the fish to rise to the top of the river it's like dynamite fishing and some shotters will be familiar with George Wilde Upshot writer writes a lot of the episodes researches a lot of the episodes and our newsletter and also backs himself as Mr.

30:42Hot Sauce I did not know this yeah Billy Big Balls he's been talking a big game a week and now he's about to deliver on it so George has offered to we're going to taste a range of hot sauces this starting with mild I think we'll do three shall we yeah we'll do three and then at the end of the episode you can do some anal vomit because yeah someone's gonna have to give up their seat and mic to I'll hand over G. It's a straight swap George for George Here he comes How we doing? Let's try two George let's try one that's considered mild and one that's considered wild and then I think at the end of the episode we'll do the anal vomit one because that one's not for human consumption really but you know you back yourself.

31:26So by the way these hot sauces are delicious apart from the aforementioned horrible one and you You can get them at losebrews.co.uk. So that's L-O-U-S-B-R-E-W-S.co.uk. Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the CalShe app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10.

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33:19There are also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay. Apply for Apple Card now and use In Minutes with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. Okay, and you get 20 % off with the code UPSHOT20. So baggy discount. Right, what have we got for you, George? Can you just hold my mic for a second?

33:49So what I've got for you, George, is a Simpsons theme one, which is rated hot, and then a 3.5 one that's peep show theme. So Jack says I was giving it the big licks, but I was actually, I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to do this or I was not getting my fishing trip. Do this one first. Can you give me the other way around, please? Yeah. Are we all going to have a bit? I can do. I'm going to go. I've given a dollar. Could someone help Paul? And what am I trying here? This is the... This is the Curse These Metal Hands. Curse These Metal Hands. That's Dobby Club, is it? Okay. JP, you've got to have a look.

34:29Love those guys. Are we ready? No. How much have you got? He'll give him a big dollop.

34:37Spray me, Jack. It's about the last thing I need. Spray me. Right. So this is a 3.5.

34:46Lovely. No, three out of five. That, for me, is perfect heap. Any more than that and I'm fucking... It's nice, it's like mango-y sweet. Yep, it's very sweet. That's delicious. Quite nice. It's a little, yeah. There are milder ones, but I thought let's just... Let's go deep. Okay, George. Hey. How was that? Yeah, that was lovely. That was delicious. Give you a nice curve on the chip so I can get enough sauce. I mean, it's not not hot. And this is the Guatemalian Insanity Pepper hot sauce. This one's inspired by that Simpsons episode. Yeah. Okay. Lovely artwork. Definitely signed off by the Simpsons.

35:28Well, that's plenty, isn't it? That's quite a lot there. And so are you, no one else's? I'm carrying an injury. God, I'll have a bit of that one. I don't want him to poo on the face. I'm having an anal vomit. That's so hot. Oh, he put it in in one. My glasses have steamed up I don't really know the size behind that But they have genuinely That is hot No it's alright it's fine Oh wow Okay See I find that really fucking And he had way more than us Is it gonna hit Is it like Back of the throat Nothing No Not so far Some people can just take more Some people can just take more Anal vomit I think we do the anal vomit now Where's the anal vomit Are you willing to do the anal vomit now Yeah, let's do it.

36:13Okay. Let's do it. Might have to put some gloves on for this. So it's called Anal Vomit 3, and it says, holy shit, and there's some frightening imagery. Yeah. Load him up. So I think this one is just pure gimmick, hot as fuck, whereas the other ones are like delicious. It's got... I'm just going to give it a wee... Oh, you got some on your hands, Jiffy. Don't rub your eyes. It's a hot seat. Okay. Get it down. Fuck it. Put your money where your mouth is. Bon appétit. He can always put you in the river after. He's done it. Do you want a drink? Anybody got any milk? It looks fine.

36:50Yeah? Yeah, it's less delicious than the others. It is less delicious. I can feel it. Yeah. But nothing crazy. I think it might be a grower. It is a real grower. It is a grower. I've had it. I can feel it in the back of my throat. All I'll say is it does what it says on the tin. Oh, good. That'll probably be coming later. That is hot. Yeah, finally. He's broken. He's broken. Someone else is going to have to have some. No, no, no, no. I'll just have a chair. We did try it at the office before. It was extremely hot. Not that really hot one, no. Have a try. We've had it. Try it. Go on. For the ad.

37:32George, how are you feeling? My tongue is, to be fair, on fire. To put it, I had about what JP had, and I had to run and, like, neck milk. Mate. It's hot. Fuck.

37:50It's hot. How have you just done that, mate? I was trying to keep it. I think George had more. Yeah, I fucking dolloped him on. Can I have a chip? You're going to have to catch a fish to wash that one down, Jimmy. Do you want a maggot? Apparently they just take it. They just cut right through it. They have to be alive. Like a milk. something about the fat content yeah I am now feeling it quite a bit but I had to keep it together otherwise JP would have backed down well done right George George is looking a bit glassy eyed now I've got one solitary tear rolling down my cheek have I earned my train ticket yeah you have earned your£8 train fare perfect thank you so yeah they got a range from mild to wild losebrews.co.uk l-o-u-s-b-r-e-w-s .co.uk code upshot20 you get 20 % off your first order a lot of them are banging as in they're sweet if you like hot sauce it's the place we're going to do an upshot sauce with them later if JP doesn't die in the next hour which is not a given getting worse

39:09have you seen the latest evidence of donald trump cheating on the golf course obviously this is he's in scotland he's been visiting scotland which is like bit of business and pleasure so he i think he's like meeting with kia starmer and ursula vanderleyan about like ukraine but he's also opening a new golf course at his resort it's also one of those yangtze reckons he's scottish doesn't he's got like a scottish grandma or something? His grandmother's from Scotland. Is he? Anyway, so he's up there and obviously he had to play around on the new course that he's opening in his resort. And we've talked before about Trump cheating on the golf course.

39:45There's literally a book called Commander and Cheat about it, which has all these people like Samuel L. Jackson said that he saw Trump's ball land in a lake and then just like mysteriously be on the fairway. Other people have said like they've literally watched Trump kicking their balls like out of the fairway. Yeah. He's very brazen about it. Some people, apparently, his old golf buddies call him Pele. Kick the ball so much. George, who's off camera, has just said some people, his golf buddies call him Pele because he would kick the ball so much. He's like, he always cheats at golf. But there's never been video evidence until now.

40:21So there's a video that's popped up, and you basically see Trump arrive in his golf buggy, and he's got these lackeys who, I guess, are caddying for him. and we can watch it now.

40:43As they walk away from Trump's golf cart, they just drop a ball. Quite a nice drop, that. Yeah. Just before the bump. Oh, there it is. You can see it pop out of those trousers. He sort of leans forward and drops it behind him And then Trump just sort of walks up to it. It's like, oh, there's my ball. Still in a shit place, but just before the bunker. It looks like, so there's deep rough and a bunker. And I guess the ball went in one of them. And then there's light rough and they've dropped it in the light bit. And then presumably they've just gone and picked up the one that's deep rough. Destroy the evidence.

41:14But has he absolutely sliced it or chucked it in the river? Like, what's the point? He's certainly not landed it there. But at what point is this? Does he still enjoy this? Because like, do you still get the same satisfaction of completing a course or winning a game of golf. Is that mentally like win at all costs kind of? Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. Like I saw him on ESPN or someone quoted on ESPN that he claimed to play off two, which is like nearly pro. Yeah. And he's how old is he? He's late 70s. And by the looks of that, he's definitely not playing off fucking two. Well, he is. Well, yeah, true.

41:51Just for a little help. It's his main hobby. So you think it's not that fun. Yeah. Maybe he's just trying to throw people off the scent of the old Epstein files. Get him talking about the cheating. Yeah, dead cat. It's probably like Mr. Burns stuff, the way the flunky goes forward and just drops his foot. And actually, it is literally a scene in Goldfinger, the James Bond film, where James Bond's playing and Goldfinger has a caddy who's in a black tie with a bow tie. and the butler suddenly just drops, a golf ball just drops down his trouser leg in golf and he's like, ah, there's my ball. Trouser leg would actually have been quite good for that.

42:31Yeah, yeah. Instead of bending down. I'll link to the scene in Bond. I read in his first 700 days in cabinet, he spent like 198 on the golf course. So like every available weekend he was playing golf and he's a president of the most important country of the planet. I actually don't have a problem with that per se. Really? Just play honestly. George Bush, there was another mad stat that he spent, I think, like 52 weeks of his first three years just on the golf course. You know there's that famous clip of him like post 9-11. And he whacks it. He's talking to the camera and he's like, we are going to find the enemies of the United States.

43:04We are going to hunt them down and kill them. Now, watch this drive. And to be fair, he fucking smashes the drive. I mean, if that's his way to relax, I can see you do need to know. Maybe not every weekend. Yeah, there's quite a lot of stuff going on globally right now. You think you could work the odd Saturday? Yeah.

43:27I've got a fishing story for you, boys. It's time. Had to be. Time to catch a whopper. So the Lake Erie Walleye Trail is the most prestigious fishing tournament in the great state of Ohio. You know those lakes up by the Canadian border? Huge lakes. A lot of big, big catch in them. And basically the tournament is you get in a two-person team and you can win a massive prize depending on you just bring in your catch and they weigh it. And the prizes can exceed like$100 ,000. It's like normally you'll get given like a boat and some fishing gear and some cash. It's big, big money. And therefore it's highly competitive.

44:05So it was a bit of a surprise in 2021 when new boys Chase Kaminsky and Jake Runyon won three tournaments in a row. and therefore took the entire championship. It's very rare for someone to win three in a row. It's a lot of luck involved with fishing, as we're finding out. Definitely bad luck. But Chase and Jake saw it differently. They thought that they were like these buccaneering guys who were there shaking up the sport, and they started describing themselves publicly. Sorry, I've got a beast in my face. It's fucking wild out here in the sticks. I think they call it a fly jack. It's getting a bit of deliverance out here.

44:45anyway Jason Jakes turned up to the tournaments events and started calling themselves the people's champs because they'd come from nowhere and were suddenly winning everything and you know you can imagine this would grate with the old guard who'd been lashing that lake for decades trying to get some big catch and had never won the big prize and you know everyone found that these guys suddenly arriving and winning everything a little bit dubious and particularly because at the weigh in these guys would smash the competition by miles Normally it's quite close, but it was just like these guys were winning by miles.

45:18And so the regulars turned to the most natural instrument of American justice. If you ever watch Jerry Springer, you'll know it. It's the polygraph test, the lie detector, which I thought was a children's tort. Have they not been discredited? They're admissible in half of American states in the court of law. Still now. That basically means they just ignore them. why did they agree to do it well I think I think actually as we'll see in our main fishing episode polygraph tests are very common in fishing tournaments because you're on this big lake so they can't watch everyone catch them so you've just got to arrive with your catch and therefore like you need some method of determining whether they're cheating right so you know why not lie detector of course Ouija board for me it's in that category Pinky promise yeah maybe we'll get we'll get one of the like a little fish that you have on your hand that like curls up if you're angry it tells you Christmas crackers that's all you like aren't you anyway they sat them down you know they plugged them in I think it's like it measures like heart rate something to do with sweating isn't it yeah heart rate is your answer yeah but also some other stuff like you sort of like respiration and sweating I don't know it's basic stuff and so basically so Jake and Chase they were on course to win 300 grand in prize money so it's you know it's big stakes and because they took the polygraph test and they fail it so basically they're like did you catch those fish and they're like yes sir yes I did and their polygraph test is like lying so they get docked 120 grand off their winnings so they end up with 180 not bad not bad that seems pretty not bad if they think they're lying yeah and they just knock like half the winnings off is that you still going away with yeah I think it's like they might go fish by fish or I don't know Every fish.

47:11Here's one. This one. How about this one? You got a great weight there. Although it sounds like they possibly had a little bit too much fun with the polygraph test because afterwards, Chase and Jake complained that after being asked questions about their catch, they were also asked other questions, including about their adultery. Oh, right. So they're clearly taking the piss. And their zoophilia, which is bestiality. So they're like, you catch this fish, did you? Did you fuck this fish? No, ma 'am. No, sir, I did not. So those Simpsons, why? We got ourselves a liar, boys. I like me a trout. I just think you've got someone rigged up to a polygraph.

47:52How often do you get this chance? Yeah, I'm going in. We should get a polygraph. That would be fun. It would have been a good moment now if I pulled one out. I looked online. They're sort of quite hard to get hold of. It's like a sort of printer, isn't it? And then it's a needle with a pencil on it. You guys just think of Meet the Parents. That's my reference point. But that's my first point. After a while, they're like, so when you masturbate, what do you think about it? Fish? Another man's wife? Like a trout, don't you, boy? You can see why Chase and Jake were a bit like, this is ridiculous.

48:23They called the polygraph test bullshit. And they argued that post-tournament, a better method to determine whether people had been cheating would be to look inside the fish. So Jake said, if you cut a fish open and there's lead weights in the stomach, well, there you go. because apparently that's the common way of cheating, right? It's a weigh-in, so you just make the fish heavier. So everyone's like, okay, fair point. We'll see. Following year, the series swings around and Chase and Jake rock up again. And it is a similarly successful season. They just pick up where they left off. They win three in a row.

49:00They win the title. And everyone's like, come on. This just doesn't happen in competitive fishing. And these rumors start to circulate. Some people say, I've never seen them on the lake. Others complain that Jake and Chase's fish look very old when they're out the way. Haggard. Very old. Old looking fish. And it's noted that they never donate their catch to the food banks, which is standard practice. You can't eat it all. Actually, some people are so convinced that these guys are cheating that they refuse to take part. So it's like this bubbling scandal. And then we get to the end of the series.

49:36Series winners are crowned. it's Chase and Jake and they don't even look that excited. They're just like, yeah, thanks for the check. We're going to head off. Engine's already running in the pickup truck. Anyway, so at this point, the tournament director is like, I'm going to step in and inspect these fish, these walleye. And just let's just see. So he gathers Chase and Jake around their catch. And he's like, OK, let's take a look at your fish. Get out his knife, start slicing them open. And then he delivers a line that will become immortal in Ohio fishing circles. We've got a clip of it right now.

50:08Here is his verdict. We got weights and fish! There we go! There we go! What the fuck? We got weights and fish! These punk-ass new boys. Why are Americans so golden? This is so good. I love it. It was the outfit as well. It looks like a sort of motorcyclist chart with the reflective glasses. He's so angry. He's almost happy. He punches the air. God damn it, I knew it. But he really wanted to just jump on their backs. Yes. So did they get arrested? Yes, they did. So these fucking cheetahs have been stuffing the fish with lead weights. They've also been stuffing the fish with fish from the shop just to pad the lead weights.

50:56Nice. That's quite Frankenstein's. That's quite good. I think that feels taboo to me. Maybe because it's a bit gaslighty. well not gas-sided but them telling the adjudicators that they should cut the fish open you've got to be like really convinced brazen and brazen to do it yourself but do you think that's why they stuffed other fish inside so that if that happened he'd be like fish is pregnant with lead weight with a Tesco Valley salad you've never seen a fish before why has it been filleted yeah it's very brazen to say oh you should just cut them open I feel like he said that and then he regretted it yeah massively Anyway, then the angry mob encircled them.

51:37We got another clip. God, you fucking death, motherfucker. Call the fucking cops. Everybody listen to me right now. Everybody listen to me right now. Jake, I want you to leave. I don't want anybody to touch these guys. I want you to leave. He needs to go to jail. Jason, we should call the cops. Cell cops. It's tough. It's tough. You fucking bullshit. You fucking done this, motherfucker. You fucking bullshit. Don't we need to file a police report? Yeah, I'm good. Jason, we got to file a police report. Oh, yeah. Every fucking one. Every single fucking thing. Every single fucking thing. I mean, we all fucking knew it.

52:18What the fuck, man? Fuck yeah, they've been doing this whole fucking thing. Hey, you got him. Hey, Jim.

52:27A filleted fish. Look it. This is a flay, yeah. A flay fish. It's a wildlife flay.

52:37That's outrageous. That is crazy. Also, like, if they were doing that, surely they'd have to bring the fish with them to the competition. So surely you've got someone, like, at every pontoon polluting it. No, no, I think it's like you drive to the fish checking state. It's a huge lake. Right. You drive to the fish checking station, you're like, here's my catch. And they just weigh it. I mean, it feels quite prone, especially when the polygraph is your only defense. I want to know, like, the big chunky lead weights I can somewhat understand, but like fillets of fish in the fish? No, that is to pad the weights.

53:11Oh, I see. I thought you were saying they put the big weights inside another fish and then put the fish inside the fish, which would have been... Kind of. That's like a five-bird roast. A Russian dog. A Russian dog, yeah. Can you do a five-bird roast with fish? Probably. I think it makes them quite dry, doesn't it? We'll try it tonight. Yeah, we'll do it at the barbie. We'll have one. Yeah. There's something quite, you know, like in nonce hunter videos where the nonce just keeps completely silent. Yeah. Like in TV programs where there's a guy being questioned, he's just like, no comment. Well, usually they're like sociopaths, aren't they?

53:42So they don't necessarily. Yeah. To turn up to that level of fishing competition, in my opinion, and stuff a fish is horrendous. Sickening. Well. Oh, hang on. We've got a bit of action on the line. We've got a nibble. All right, you carry on. I'll carry on talking. So the police are called. don't do that to Zach flashbacks please JV it's not the forehead yeah that's why I'm wearing the hat and the protective glasses yeah if you're listening on audio Zach's got some protective eyewear on the police come for their own protection because it honestly looks like these guys are going to be lynched by the mob they're furious and they take their names and stuff apparently the police then allow them to drive off and as these two cheaters drive off they have the audacity to scream abuse out the window and give them the finger.

54:30Fucking right, baby. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I thought this was America. Randy Marsh. If you want to completely defraud your friends and neighbours, it's not a happy ending for Chase and Jake, I regret to inform you. So they are prosecuted. It's fraud. Yes. They've made like hundreds of grand out of this. 400 grand, I think. Fuck, yeah. In the end, a judge bans them from fishing for three years. Didn't know they could do that. You'd be gutted. you'd be absolutely gutted like a driving ban can you just do that with anything yeah ban from line bikes for three years so he's banned from fishing for three years they were forced to sell their hundred thousand dollar boat and I think give the money back from that because a lot of them prize money is in like clobber boats and fucking rods waders yeah weird goggles dungarees a special line of utility jackets all those fishing flies lures and he threw them in jail in the slammer for 10 days which as locals complained was a pretty good result given that they netted about 300 to 400 grand.

55:36Wow. Did they have to give the money back? They only had to give 100k back. They made perfect. How on earth have they got away with that? Yeah. Surely you've got to like give the... They're laughing. I think they could only make them give back the money from the one they proved they were cheating. Fair enough. Right. Oh, true. It's like the perfect... I mean, they stripped Lance Armstrong of his tour of the Francis. Yeah, the guy who wants a millionaire out to give the money back, didn't he? Yeah, Major Charles Ingram. What a coughing major. That'll be a good episode. I'll be a good patron, we should do that.

56:04Major Charles Ingram. With his associate, Tequin Wittock. Tequin Wittock. Oddball. Anyway, that was not the last time the good, ordinary citizens were stiffed by Chase Kaminsky. because one year later he was charged with poaching deer in Pennsylvania. So he moved on to bigger beasts but he's still at it. Was he doing anything nefarious with them? Stuffing anything inside them? No, he didn't have to. He was just stealing them. And was it, yeah, there was no competition involved. It was just for fun. Yeah, I don't think it was like you cut the deer open and there's no deer. But you go around to his house and he's got the head on the wall and there's like, God, I've never seen a deer with such big antlers on him.

56:49Like, attach two sets of antlers to it. He's got an anvil in it. He also committed another crime, which is quite Simpsons. He was caught making his son pay at a bowling alley with forged$100 bills. So the$100 bills said on them, not legal tender, for motion picture purposes only. Did he try and get away with it? So he sent his son up? Yeah, and apparently his son tried to pay with one, and then his son rang him from the bowling alley and was like, it's not working. And then he came back to the bowling alley and gave him some more and was like, try this one. Second time, lucky son That is very Simpson This whole episode is incredibly Cletus Good old Chase Alright, thanks a lot for listening JP's had a bit of a relapse An acid flashback George is looking a little quiet Will he ever write again?

57:44Thousand yards there Alright, on that cheating scandal feels like the perfect time to go over to Patreon where we are doing a full special on some of the biggest scandals to ever hit the seemingly quiet world of angling, but it is in fact a hotbed of quaaludes, heists, murder. We've got a few murders in there and some genuinely horrible sex scandals, including one involving a Hollywood A-lister who we are going to name. No bleep outs or anything. We'll see him in court. So, yeah, that story is almost as disgusting as anal vomit 3 which you can get at lewsbruise.co.uk so thanks a lot for listening if you are not already a Patreon member you can join us at patreon.com forward slash upshot towers we'll see you over there for the fishing scandals hopefully we'll catch a whopper on air oh we will I'm sure we're getting can I just say George you're supposed to do the fishing we haven't caught I really thought during extra shot we haven't caught other than we're going to reel in a whopper a potential trip to hospital for a minute give me time yeah it's a patient so probably the main reason to come to Patreon is we might catch a fish and also it started raining so that's going to be interesting that's good news for the fishing it's good for the electric not for the electrical equipment but yeah see you on there if you remember if not three quid a month you know where it is thanks a lot thanks Zach thanks Jack thanks JP Keith George thanks a lot thanks mate and George he's off camera but he's he's just going he's just dipping in the river Just dowsing his tongue in Thames River water.

59:18I'm sure that's fucking funny. He's taken off all his clothes and just slowly started walking into the room. Thanks a lot for listening. Love that. Cheers. Have no fear. Chosen Foods is here to defend your favorite foods from the forces of seedy oils and sketchy ingredients. With cooking oils, salad dressings and mayo, all powered by the good fats from 100 % pure avocado oil and simple, delicious ingredients. Chosen Foods. Find the biggest voices in sports on the Sports Social Podcast Network Like us, Frank McIvenny and Simon Houston from the Let Me Be Frank podcast Join us every week as we tackle all the biggest talking points in football whether it's Celtic, Rangers, Scotland, the SPFL and the biggest names in the game with plenty of laughs and a few stories you definitely won't hear anyone else Search for Let Me Be Frank wherever you get your podcasts

1:00:13You