Cocaine and wife swapping: wrong’uns of the Ryder Cup (part one)

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0:45So when you shop online at participating merchants, your cards appear in one place. Pays, it checks out. Activation required. See pays.com to learn more. Terms and conditions apply. With their neatly pruned greens and spotless trousers, it's easy to assume that golfers are a tame and placid bunch. But look beyond the Rolex adverts and you'll find a sport swimming with drug use, wife swapping and murder. From serial killers to shagging on the green, welcome to the Ryder Cup of wrong-uns. Welcome back to the Upshot. My name is Jack and it's just me today and my wonderful returning guest, the voice of golf, it's Mr.

1:29James Gray. It's not as highbrow as people imagine golf commentators, you know, podcasting things just a few days out from the Ryder Cup to be. But we'll roll with it, Jack. We'll roll with it. Good to be back. Well, three days out for the Ryder Cup, you should be talking about like captaincy, sort of like how quick are the greens going to be. but we're going to be talking about the size of people's penises. We're going to be talking about people shagging on greens, nicking each other's wives. We're talking about foursomes a little bit. That's fitting. That's probably the only overlap between, I mean, maybe we'll come to this later, but the current pros just better at hiding it or are they just a bit squeaky clean?

2:09You get the odd bit. You know, Rory is kind of notoriously different to his, to his media image, shall we say? I'd say actually, and again, we'll probably get onto this, is that the caddies are probably what the golfers were like 40 years ago. And because they have basically free reign in the sense that nobody really knows who they are. You get the odd celebrity caddy. But generally, they're all, you know, swilling away each night, you know, tournament days or not. Really? Yeah. But are they, I guess they're making a lot of money. So I was sort of thinking, what's in it for a groupie shagging a caddy?

2:49but oh lots of i mean they've all got rolex's on the wrist yeah they're making a lot of cash they are making a lot of money and um yeah they're always in the plush hotels you know sometimes you know the top caddies are in better hotels and flying on private jets as opposed to some of the other players so yeah so there you go that's the life to have someone told me a story that concerns someone who is mentioned in this is a two-part episode in one of them i'm not going to name them for legal reasons but the story goes that this player was caught by their wife uh shagging and she insisted that he started using friend finder on apple so she knew where he was at all times yeah and his solution to that is he would go to his local course where his caddy was and he'd give his caddy his phone and be like go and play 18 holes and then he'd nip off to a motel and do some shagging yeah that's that's like very um that's quite normal behavior for a pro golfer You might have been the person who told me that story.

3:46I'm not sure. Possibly. Possibly not. So yeah, you can hear James commentating on Eurosport. Yeah. For all of the PGA Tour. You'll hear James commentating on the Ryder Cup this year on BBC Radio. Yeah, we're really lucky. I mean, you know, I always say this with the golf. It's the only sport where as commentators, you are walking on the pitch, effectively, you know, on the fairways. you are stood sometimes on top of the golf ball as it lands um you eyeballing the players sometimes you can give them a pat on the back and say nice shot that kind of stuff it's brilliant so let's just explain the premise of what we're doing here today we're meeting the biggest wrong ones in golf history we have done episodes before on tiger woods and john daly but we're going to cover tiger and and jd and they are going to be popping up don't worry we're going to play the hits introduce some new stuff uh and then there's there's plenty of other big names from all eras from current tour all the way back to the early days so should we get into it let's go for it i mean i'm not going to stretch the rider cup format too far at one point i was trying to pick a europe and usa team um but no i mean we're it's a two-parter uh but we'll maybe pick our favorite at the end go for it maybe pick a foursome let's let's do it uh right i thought we where else should we begin than with the king arnold palmer who was one of the big three superstars in the 50s 60s and 70s along with jack nicholas and gary player who those two seem pretty squeaky clean i couldn't couldn't land a huge amount on them but i'd always assumed that arnold palmer was an absolute piss can because there's a drink named after him but then i looked it up and it's fucking iced tea and lemonade yeah that's it yeah exactly yeah i know i think a lot of people they go to his course in Florida, Bay Hill, and they turn up and go, I can't wait after I'm around to go get an Arnold Palmer drink.

5:38They go, fucking hell, what's this? It's not alcoholic. Is it delicious? I was going to make you one. No, it's not great. Not great. Fizzy tea. Yeah, I mean, if you get Lipton's and just put some Schweppes in it, that's an Arnold Palmer. It's not great. Apparently if you add vodka, it's a John Daly. Yeah, that's right. I think that probably goes for most drinks. Do I want vodka and tea? I mean, even cold. Oh, nice. Yeah, fortunately, Actually, there is something quite upshot about Arnold Palmer, having looked into it, which we actually know about thanks to President Donald Trump, who's going to crop up a lot in this episode.

6:12I should warn people. So October last year, Donald Trump was on the campaign trail and he was at a rally at the Arnold Palmer Airport in Pennsylvania. And he kicked off the rally by rambling about the great golfer for a good 15 minutes before turning to the most important matter concerning this sporting legend. Donald told the gathered masses about the late great golfer's massive schlong. We've got a clip here. But Arnold Palmer was all man. When I say that in all due respect to women and I love women. But this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough and I refused to say it but when he took showers with the other pros they came out of there, they said, oh my god

7:10that's unbelievable I had to say it I had to say it and I refused to say it and then just says it There's also in the background of that, in the crowd, there's a woman with her child who looks about 10 just cackling away at the size of Arnold Palmer's cock. Arnold Palmer did actually use it pretty well as well. Oh, really? Yeah. Shag it. Yeah, big time. So going back to the fact that you said Nicholas and Player, I mean, Gary Player is a whole different entity, but certainly Palmer and Nicholas, obviously incredible reputations. Don't want to speak ill of the dead in terms of Arnold Palmer, but I will just take you back and I'll quote somebody who can't defend himself.

7:52also in Peter Alice, who I remember when all the Tiger stuff came out, spoiler alert, Tiger's, you know, not the man that we all thought he was. When all that came out in 2009 or so, Peter Alice was interviewed and asked about, you know, does this ruin the reputation of him? And he said, look, Tiger Woods is a mere amateur compared to what Jack and Arnold were doing. And he said that, and it was in a golf magazine, yeah. And I remember reading that and thinking, what? You can't say that. yeah but but his his overriding point was is that tiger's just trying to not get caught by the paps um you know jack and arnold's concern was not having a love child yeah so there you go well and it was just easier to get away with it then of course it was less press intrusion that's wild yeah we're gonna have to revisit yeah there you go you can't find a great deal about no and sure you know probably not i'm sure that if you if you were asking um bartenders of um you know, near Bay Hill Club and Lodge, which is where Arnold Palmer's place is, I'm sure that they would have a few tales to tell.

8:58Well, I'm going to be in the US next year for the World Cup, so I might pop in. Pop in. Apparently he does it regularly. So he basically seen Palmer get his kit off at a golf tournament. Right. He was in the locker room, and this was like one of his go-to anecdotes, and he just used to talk about it all the time. I mean, yeah, I actually think it's red meat for the base, almost literally. I think Trump's base love a bit of penis-sized talk. Really? Yeah. Well, I suppose they are coming out to, you know, a young man and all that, aren't they? Singing all the YMCA stuff and all that. Everyone likes a big cock, James.

9:33And Arnie Palmer was not the only one nursing a longer shaft. Greg Norman, Aussie two-time major winner, now the front man of Saudi's Live Golf series, an incurable bellend in my view. But judging by this picture we've got of him on the beach, he has got an absolute howitzer of a penis under his shorts. It's like imprinted onto my brain now. I remember seeing this and thinking, that is impressive. And it's just stuck. He lives rent for it. You know kids now talk about the Roman Empire. That's my Roman Empire. It is. It's what I'm thinking about when I'm not thinking about anything else. Yeah, yeah.

10:14Screensaver for my brain. Yeah, Greg Norman's chopper. I should just say at this point, for the people who haven't switched off already, this isn't all going to be about penis size. I just thought we'd start there. After this bit, there's not much penis size. I just wonder how many we've lost. Yeah, it's a thirst trap, I would say. Greg's posted it. He's walking on the beach topless. And this guy's 17. His dog's having a gawp as well, isn't he? I know, even the dog cannot decide whether it's bone or, you know, another pet, actually. That is, I mean, what I would say is, without going all Trump, he is, I mean, he's 70 years old here.

10:51Yeah, he looks amazing. Yeah, exactly. Beautiful penis. Yeah. He was married to Chrissy Evert for a bit, the tennis player, wasn't he? Tennis stars, mate. You know what? So Chrissy Evert was married to John Lloyd, famously, the British tennis player. And I think she'd also married an American. and I got talking to John Lloyd Wimbledon a couple of years ago. Don't know him at all from Adam. We were probably talking for 10 minutes before we went on air together. And he said, oh, do you play golf? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said, oh, the guys told me you play golf. He said, do you know Greg Norman?

11:29And I thought, that's a bit weird because at this stage, Norman had married and divorced John Lloyd's ex-wife. So I thought that's an odd question to ask. I won't delve too deep into that. And he said, no. And John Lloyd went, well, you know what? He goes, she only needs to marry a French bloke and she's completed the Grand Slam. Which I thought was a killer line. You got an American as well? American. So a Brit and American and an Aussie. Just needs the French open. Job done. Yeah, done. Just need to do it on clay. Famously the hardest. Hardest to adapt to. So there you go. Craig Norman, one of many conquests I'm sure.

12:04It's good. And I think the conquests and the large knob have gone to his head a bit. So Norman famously, he has a one and a half size bronze bust of himself in his Florida mansion. He's described himself as a living brand. Once after 18 holes, he said, I was in awe of myself out there. He's like, he's like shooting McGavin off Happy Gilmore, isn't he? Yeah, he's just very fucking chuffed. I kind of rate it. When it comes to shagging, he is extremely single-minded. As you say, he was with Chris Evert for a bit. He also knobbed his best friend's wife. That's always a sign, isn't it? Yeah. A bit of a twat.

12:40Don't think they speak anymore. It will wreck a friendship a bit. And he also, so his first wife caught him. Is that why Zach's not here this week? I haven't even mentioned him. He's been off the last few pods and there's no reason. Yeah, that was a disciplinary matter actually. Zach understands what he did wrong and he'll be back when I feel he's ready. When I feel he's learned his lesson about nobbing my wife. Oh dear, sorry Zach. Sorry Zach. Don't use that name in this podcast. Greg was also caught cheating on his first wife in 1995 with his friend, Kristen Kuttner. So basically the wife overheard them having a chat about meeting up for a bonk.

13:20Ooh, red handed. And he's sort of like, he was like, Oh no, that's nothing, nothing to worry about. It's all a misunderstanding. Persuade his wife. He called it off. And then 30 years later, he actually married Kristen. Oh wow. Yeah. Having divorced, obviously he's had a few divorces. Yeah. They're quite, um, a lot of these guys are quite like footballers, obviously shag around loads but there's something quite like cold about the way golfers dump their wives and girlfriends you know i mean it's quite i don't know it's a bit like there's a few social skills lacking maybe i don't know like i was thinking rory mcelroy um so he he ditched his childhood sweetheart for caroline wozniacki the tennis player yes fair enough he was young and all that but then he got engaged with caroline wozniacki yeah in 2013 they were like weeks from the wedding day and caroline tweeted a pretty innocuous photo of him rory having a snooze with his mouth open she's asleep and she just tweeted it with jet lag rory lol yeah it's very gentle it's unflattering that's quite funny yeah but according to friends who were interviewed by the irish independent rory was very upset by it and a few days later in a three minute phone call he rang her and broke off the wedding yeah biffed it off yeah mental that jilted i think that is a jilting what is funny now is that she is married to a billionaire kind of stakeholder in a lot of the pga tour events so i've been in the same room weirdly as wasniaki her husband and mcelroy and sat meters apart are they because she was watching when he won which majors he won this year uh the masters yeah he won the masters yeah she was there she was there yeah so i guess they're on quite good terms.

14:57You don't know if it's just because her fella is involved in golf or if actually, yeah. But like, the big story of that Masters was will Rory do it? I think I'd give it a miss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd have to be there. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he also, the year before he won the Masters, he filed for divorce two days out. Yeah, he did. All very strange. A bit odd timing. I think, again, there's a sort of coldness there that you might not get with other styles of sports. But they're quite ruthless. Yeah, ruthless. you know with with other um aspects of their kind of i'm not equating the wife to like a coach here i'm not gonna say you know other elements of their setup um their background but you know like if you're looking at somebody like a um you know they're higher and fire caddies like phil mickelson had a caddy for 20 years called jim mckay who's now a really great commentator um and one day he just turned around to him went we're done see you later and like there's quite there is and just a you know, they're getting the bullet today kind of element to it.

15:57And that's it. They move on. They're so narrow minded. And so, you know, that's it. Nothing else matters apart from me. So, yeah, I can see it. It's a recurring theme. Oh, yeah. We're going to see some more in this episode. Cold blooded, ruthless killers. Much like Greg Norman's boss is Saudi Arabia. Nice. I see what he did there. So Greg's a sort of meat puppet for the Saudis now. He's the front man of Live Golf. And over time, he's really come around to their way of doing business. So a few years ago, the journalist Alan Shipnuck, who's a bit of a thorn in Livegolf's side and Phil Mickelson's side in particular, was at a press conference asking some pretty tough questions of Phil Mickelson.

16:40And he was thrown out by the security from Livegolf. And Alan was obviously pretty irate about this. It's not the sort of treatment you get on the PGA. And he texted Greg Norman in a text that he later screenshotted and posted. He said, are you aware that I just got muscled out of Phil's press conference by a couple of your goons? Luckily for you, I de-escalated it. Call me to discuss. And Greg Norman replied, did not hear. Thanks for letting me know. So sort of acting like he had nothing to do with it. Yeah. The problem for Greg Norman is that a photo then appeared showing Shipnuck being chucked out by one of these goons.

17:13And standing right behind Shipnuck, unaware to him, is Greg Norman, who's watching the whole thing go down like a Bond villain. Yeah, it's brilliant, isn't it? all that's missing is the little white cat. Yeah. It's brilliant. You literally, it's the look on his face as well, just watching it all go down. So he knew full well what was happening. Oh, 100%. And when you work for the Saudis, I suppose that's what happens. I remember I was there when that happened. It was at Centurion in Hertfordshire. Yeah, I remember when there was a proper cup of full going on. And there was no way on God's green earth that Greg Norman didn't, you know.

17:50Order that. Yeah, absolutely. He was all over it. He couldn't be happier to see Shipnuck being turfed out. And to be fair, you know, the golf media are like pretty much every other set of journalists in the sporting world. They're wearing ill-fitting clothes. They've got bad breath, mostly with hangovers as well. But actually, they did kind of rally behind Alan Shipnuck there and sort of got him back in, I think, the next day. So, yeah, Greg Norman, fucking hell. it's good for the sport to have a Bond villain in Alan in Alan Shipnacht I like Alan Shipnacht as well actually I've certainly relied on him for a few stories I've got one here because the history between Mickelson and Shipnacht goes quite far back because Shipnacht wrote a book about Phil with I thought it was fairly balanced but there was the odd embarrassing revelation particularly concerning Phil's long running feud with Pat Perez his fellow pro.

18:50So three years ago, Pat Perez was on a podcast when he said, I have a different hate for Phil than most people. He said, Phil went over an uncrossable and unforgivable line. So you're like, fucking hell, what is this? He continued, he knows that he screwed up. He apologized for the action, but I cannot forgive him for it because I've known Phil for a long, long time. It's clearly something very bad. Yes. And Alan Shipnuck popped up with the goods. There was basically a lot of speculation about it, naturally. and it's kind of an open secret in golf that involved pat perez's wife um so i assumed that phil had made a pass at her not quite so in alan's book about phil he describes an incident at a dinner in 2015 he said when pat perez excused himself to use the restroom during dinner mickelson whipped out his phone to allegedly show pat's wife a photograph of himself that she found offensive.

19:44I mean, that can only be one thing. Yeah, yeah, that's him getting his baby fill out, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Getting his Arnold Palmer out for everyone to see. Yeah, exactly. It's definitely, I guess it could be a photo of him shagging rather than just a cock. Possibly. And I am just, based on the facts I've heard, I'm just giving my opinion on what it could be just to be clear. I don't know. Your imagination's really wild here, mate, isn't it? It can't be bum hole, can it? It just can't. That would be a great photo, wouldn't it? Yeah, Phil Mickelson, you know, bearing the 19th hole. I think Mickelson, there's a lot of subject matter with Mickelson.

20:25I mean, there's a lot of subject matter with Pat Perez, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah, my goodness. But I think with Mickelson, notorious gambler, like huge gambler, massive debts, as in humongous, like we're talking hundreds of millions of dollars. We're not talking like, oh, he bet 50 million and won 49 and then lost whatever. He was always like hundreds of millions in debt. And Chip Nook and others have written brilliant books on this. And there's some great insight into how bad. I think at one point he was using the players' portal mid-round to place NFL bets and things like that. And he was terrible.

21:07The FBI were investigating him because of wire fraud. Who's your bookie then? Like the mob? Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. I think it gets to the point where all the casinos in Las Vegas, because it's not like here where you get Bet365 out and you have a dabble. It's, you know, you've got to be ringing up these serious bookmakers in Vegas. And I think that once they've all said, no, no, we're not loaning you anymore, then you're going to some really nasty people. So, yeah, Mickelson. Wild life. But I didn't really have Mickelson down as a serious shagger. but um if that's his approach just pulling out a photo of him you know showing his bum well we're going with bum hole are we yeah i'm going with that well let's roll with that yeah it it's also just is it is it even a pervy thing or just like to just show someone your dick at dinner it's the fact that pat went to the loo that makes it look really yeah he's weird it was just sort of showing everyone because there's a scenario where that photo is a flaccid phil mickelson yeah and i then pat perez and his wife have overreacted but if it's if it's some sort of erotic play yeah he deserves the yeah it's quite bad actually cold shoulder well yeah you mentioned phil's gambling and i you know like golfers i think part of the reason why like the scandals have become a bit more hidden is that they make so much money they sort of live in a different world a bit like footballers do now but um probably no one in golf has ever loved money as much as phil mickelson right oh loves it he fucking loves cold hard cash so we've got a picture of him here posing in front of i think that's nine million dollars in cash isn't it yeah that's right isn't that there's that story where the uh journalist went into the locker room and asked them how much cash have you got in your pocket right now and they were like i don't know and they pull out a few like crumpled 50s yeah and then they all go ask phil yeah and they ask phil and he's like i have 1600 dollars in 50s 3500 dollars in hundreds like he's he's on it with money yeah he even fell out with tiger woods over money so in 98 the pair of them played a practice round and you know they want to make it a little more interesting stuck 500 on it and phil won which is no big deal uh but he then to gloat he photocopied the 100 the 500 bills and put the printouts in tiger's locker with the note just wanted you to know that benji and his friends are very happy in their new home and the pair properly fell out over it they didn't play another practice round for 20 years Yeah, too right.

23:29And then they were loosely sticking with the Ryder Cup theme. The Americans went through this period of like, what do you do with Tiger Woods? You know, what do you do with the best player by some distance in terms of, you know, partnering him? Because, you know, some people are going to crumble under the pressure. Some people just don't like him. What on earth do we do? And they got to the point where they were like, right, sod it. Mickelson's number two in the world. Woods is number one. Let's put them together. but they hated each other they couldn't stand the sight of each other they played different golf balls they had different strategies on the so like it just was an absolute disaster I think they might have lost all four matches they were paired together yeah it was wild when you think about how good they were yeah yeah yeah the feud it went on a while didn't it yeah as I said they didn't play another practice round for 20 years together I mean I think Tiger's overreacted a bit there as annoying as Phil's been yeah 100 % there's probably more to it God knows what he showed Tiger's wife on his phone yeah she would come to see worse on phones which we'll come to uh anyway after finally playing a round together in 2018 yes practice round together again mickelson and tiger actually faced off in this nine million dollar game yeah which is that's what the pictures from that we're looking yeah that's right it was a huge prize and billing it seems like a really great idea but i find often those gimmicky ones don't quite work no and so it was they both played quite conservative golf didn't there and everyone agreed it was pretty average pretty average the chat was actually not bad you know for two yanks who why were they mic'd up yeah they were mic'd up so and actually that that was that was probably pretty good because they're both very good trash talkers you know they've played enough programs with basketball players and all that stuff and nicked enough money off them on the golf course to know how to kind of trash talk each other yeah um anyway a lot of fans were annoyed because it was 29.99 to watch it on pay-per-view yeah it was among them country singer jake owen who i think it was literally the next day spotted phil at a party and this is a fucking belting story this is brilliant here's jake telling it i did give phil mickelson a lot of shit though um at jordan spee's wedding and it was the day after he played tiger but i just i had a few cocktails and uh i saw him across the room and i was like i gotta go tell this guy what i think so i walked over to him i was like hey phil you owe me fucking $29.99.

25:52And he's like, what? He's like, what? He's in the middle of a conversation. I was like, for wasting four hours of my life with the shittiest golf I've ever seen. Like, you guys are like the best golf. You guys hyped this whole thing up about this big match. You guys couldn't even make three birdies between the two of you. I'm like, I want my$29.99 back and apologize to me for some shitty golf. Oh, my God. And he pulls out a wad out of his thing, and he grabs a hundred, like a hundred dollar bill. He's like, yeah, I won 90 ,000 of these yesterday. Oh, my God. He goes, take a hundred and go fuck yourself.

26:28What? This can't be real. You've got to give it to him for that. He's so good, that, isn't he? That is fucking so good. What I love about Mickelson is that he does have this thing. like where I remember fans heckling him on the golf course in tournaments, right? And what TV companies do when they realize a player is going to sort of bite back a bit, they just get a little bit closer. They dangle the microphone that little bit closer to the player. And there's some beauties down the years. They always come up. My algorithm clearly knows that I like Phil the Thrill. So I get it all up on my TikTok every time I bloody go on these days, seemingly.

27:10and it's things like um you know be be as good as tigers as the ball is in the air and um and it'll just say things like oh don't worry man it fucking will be like things like that like brilliant you know like really good shit um and like like you know in the show get in the hole or oh my god phil like all that is the balls like set off and he'll go chill the fuck out it's a four iron dude like all this it's just brilliant it's like he's really and getting and so that That story of Jay Cohen, who plays in all these programs with these guys, you can tell that's a gospel truth story. It's brilliant.

27:47It's a classic Phil line. It's a great story. Yeah, good on him. Yeah. He's not always so good with his words, though. Obviously, Phil was one of the first stars to sign up with the Saudis for Live Golf, given his love of cash. It's not a huge surprise. But unlike a lot of the other stars who ditch their morals for a payday, He's never pleaded any ignorance about what Saudi are up to. He said in an interview, in a press conference, I think, he said, they're scary motherfuckers to get involved with. We know they kill Khashoggi and have a horrible record on human rights. They execute people over there for being gay.

28:23Knowing all of this, why would I even consider it? Because this is a once in a life opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour operates. Yeah. The only thing he's lied about there, and I really appreciate the honesty there, Phil, is once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take home half a billion dollars. It's nothing to do with reshaping the PGA Tour. Yeah, but he basically means make golf, make players more. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I almost find that refreshing. Yeah, so do I. There's something about Mickelson I really like. He's always got that goofy grin on his face. He was always second fiddle to Tiger for many years and did it with pretty good grace overall.

29:00He's not very well liked on this kind of circuit. And people who've had dealings with him down the years, they think he's a total twat. And they've got so many bad tales about him and horror stories. But affable, lumbering, didn't go to the gym. Tiger did. You know, Tiger never smiled. Phil was grinning like a Cheshire cat all the time. Yeah, he's funny. He's got the killer line. Yeah, you've got to love him. I'm definitely glad he's around. Not just for this podcast. although speaking of playing second fiddle to tiger where else to go than the great man himself you know the stories we've had before they're all well and good the odd large hog the odd dick pick to a friend's wife but no one can really match the king let's just talk through a bit like chronologically his story of how it happened i think how he became this character because i find it fascinating i mean his parents are fucking unhinged right for different reasons um his dad Dad was putting him on TV age two, saying this kid's going to be a professional golfer.

30:00And, you know, as Tiger grew up as a kid, he's basically just playing golf. But while he's doing it, practicing, his dad and his dad's best mate, a family friend, would park their Winnebago RV next to the course and would just bring a procession of blondes who weren't their wives to shag in this RV. So basically Tiger's experience of like male role models is like they're good at golf and they shag. They're shagging. Yeah, they're shagging. so you can see how that might warp you a bit especially when you add in this like intense focus very early on his first girlfriend he um i think he the story is he came home from college a day early and went and saw her instead of his parents yeah spent the night with her came the next day and then three days later the girlfriend just got a letter from him and it just said this letter is to tell you that my parents and i never want to hear from you again hope you have a nice life obviously the parents are talking to do it again cold and ruthless which is the Gulf way which is bonkers there's footage of him and this girlfriend like dancing at like their graduation party and all that and you know from taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo make every bite rewarding with gold from Amex wherever you dine four times the membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide are piling up learn more at americanexpress.com slash explore-gold terms and points cap apply before we continue I've got a podcast recommendation for you the football ramble is the most entertaining football podcast out there except for the upshot obviously and for me it's the best way to follow the on pitch action at the world cup this summer just like the upshot they're not afraid to call Gianni Infantino what he really is so if you're looking for a new podcast to guide you through this world cup look no further than the football ramble with brand new episodes every single day through the tournament just search football ramble wherever you get your podcasts he's a different bloke he's a completely different man now you know the one we know he looks like a really kind of shy but you know fun fella and then obviously his parents complete fucking nutcases and force him to write this letter and he's never you know he probably never therefore treats any woman or indeed person like with any any level of respect yeah ever again after that because it's everybody's disposable no attachment matters done thank you very much and yeah i mean it's more brutal than rory's kind of breaking off of the engagement it's another example of it isn't it yeah so those are the original sort of building blocks and then by 1996 tiger's 21 he hasn't won a major yet but he's already being talked about as probably the most exciting prospect in all sport he's going to be a megastar um and he's ready to emulate his male role models uh the only problem is he's still at this point as you alluded to a bit of an awkward nerd really because he's just played golf all the time so when he's wrong with that by the way catching strays I like the guy who sits in a window of a studio talking about them yeah but then he bumps into legendary shaggers Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter the baseball legend in a New York nightclub where they're surrounded by women and he sees this as his opportunity to learn so this shy slightly dorky golf Prodigy sidles up to the six foot six inch megastar and asks him Mr.

33:14Jordan Thur how do you talk to girls and Michael Jordan laughs that big Michael Jordan laugh sucks on his cigar and replies just tell him you're Tiger Woods brilliant and that is really the rest is history that was that was the enabling moment I think he knew he wanted it and now he knows how yeah pretty simple it turns out. Yeah. And obviously getting that advice off MJ. I love the fact that he's there with Jeter and MJ in a nightclub. He could be asking him anything, anything at all. And the first thing is basically, how do I, how do I get my cock wet? Yeah. Go on, mate. To be fair, what other question is on a 21 year old boy's mind?

33:56They actually all go on holiday together about five years later. You know, when Tiger bleached his hair. Oh yeah. It was like the lads, because they're all big gamblers. I mean, Jordan's another guy gets into major gambling debt. Big time. And they all went on this wild holiday. I don't know exactly what went down. But obviously, what happens over those years, we all know it. But I just want to remind us of the story. I mean, he becomes the god of sport. Both Mr. Squeaky Clean family guy, the most marketable guy on the planet, and also just like a new style of dominating a sport. He's incredible.

34:29Until one famous night, infamous night, when his wife chases him out of the house with a golf club and he is found slumped at the wheel of a car that's crashed into a fire hydrant. Differing reports over whether she's standing over him with the golf club at that point. Wild when you think about it. And it turns out he's the greatest shagger the sport has ever seen. Not according to Peter Ayliss, but... Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, exactly. I think the thing is with that is that apparently it was an open secret. I mean, this was like before, you know, I was kind of involved in golf, but obviously, I mean, it's great stuff, this, isn't it?

35:04You want to ask everybody who was around Tiger at that point, you know, and I have done. And they all say that he was so openly obvious about doing it, constantly talking about it, ogling women on the course, handing his... I mean, there's literal footage now. It's all come out, you know, and he still does it, seemingly, where he writes his number as he's walking through a spectator walkway and, you know, just sort of hands it to women. Brilliant. Brilliant. You know, the ingenuity of the man, you know, what a guy, trailblazing stuff. not just in the game of golf, but, you know, in terms of picking up women.