Gianni Infantino: the most hated man in football (part one)

0:00If you're a small business owner, you'll know just what it's like to be the chief everything officer. HR, payroll, employee benefits. Well, Gusto can do all of that for you. Gusto is online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses. It's all in one, remote friendly and incredibly easy to use. It's quick and simple to switch to Gusto. Just transfer your existing data to get up and running fast. Try Gusto today at gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer and get three months free when you run your first payroll. That's gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer.

0:34Gianni Infantino:The world's biggest soccer tournament has arrived and you can trade the entire tournament on Calci. On Calci, you can trade every match from the opening stage all the way to the final. On Calci, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the CalShe app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I CalShe. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors.

1:02Gianni Infantino:Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calshe.com slash regulatory. The entire summer of soccer is on prize picks. All 48 countries in every matchup. And if you rep your side before the round of 16 on prize picks, you can win a trip to the finals in New York. It's the biggest tournament ever, which means there's even more opportunities to cash in while you root for your favorite national sides and global soccer stars. Download the app today and use code CUP26 to get$50 instantly in lineups when you play your first$5. Download the app today and use code CUP26 to get$50 instantly in lineups when you play your first$5.

1:35PrizePix, America's number one sports picks app. By all rights, Gianni Infantino should be a faceless functionary in a drab Gladbrook lawyer's office. But somehow, this charmless blazer has wooed Donald Trump, partied with the Kardashians, and wormed his way into the Middle East peace process. He did kick-ups with Putin, cozied up to Salt Bay, and carved his own name on the FIFA trophy. Twice. From FBI raids to 33 grand tickets, this is the story of the most hated man in football. Welcome back to The Upshot. I'm Jack. Hello, Zach. Hi, Jack. Hello, George. Hello. Morgan. Today I feel happy to be here.

2:12today I feel podcaster exactly yeah it's uh it's the biggest cunt in football I think we can all get on board with that yeah there's not many people who unite everyone so much yeah you don't mean there's going to be Infantino stans in the comments coming for us yeah they are going to be very dubious if they are I'd like to know country of origin I wouldn't be surprised if his lawyers get in touch though I mean he does seem quite litigious we have had a legal threat from FIFA not from the big man himself but we've obviously talked about before so this is about as noble as it gets for us i would say as well yeah you know hating on someone everyone else hates yeah jumping on a bandwagon yeah yeah it sort of beats you laying into daniela westbrook on tiktok wasn't laying into i was just i was just pointing out that her nose reminds me a bit of nunu the hoover from tally tubbies yeah and people quite rightly we're punching up this time yeah this is a bunch up although as nerds ourselves i do think there's an element of the infantino hatred that is just like resentment and seeing one of our own kind sort of like leave the math club behind and dance with the prom queen a bit me and me and zaka chads i don't know what you're talking about yeah i don't know because because he does when you look at jenny infantino and his whole sort of presence and personality he's he is just like boring and dry and like quite, quite characterless.

3:37So the fact that we kind of alluded to it in the intro, but the fact that he's managed to sort of weasel his way into this position of like almost like a, I like head of state nearly. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, so you like your bent FIFA officials to be more of the old flavor sort of jowly cigar smoking. Yeah, I want one hand on your knee, the other one on a check. Yeah. brown envelope with cash. Yeah. I don't know. I think we should maybe do the prequel episode to this as the old school FIFA corruption. But I kind of feel like back then it had a bit of, maybe this is just with hindsight, but it had a bit of charm, you know, brown envelope slid under the table, a Rolex watch, an expensive bit of jewelry for your wife.

4:26Escorts for breakfast. Yeah, exactly. Come on. It's quaint. It's honest. It's good honest corruption. It was quaint. I had some charm but it's like you know dictators some charm to like the really sort of exotic ones yeah he really amines yeah doesn't mean to support everything he did let's not go down that rabbit hole but yeah I think that's true yeah Gianni Infantino is a very 21st century kind of kind of yeah corrupt leader yeah it's more it's more sort of there's no like gifts as such but it's more you know just like cozying up getting yourself once he retires as FIFA president and then he'll have a nice gig at the Qatari FA.

5:04That's residence. Yeah. But there is some incredibly brazen stuff here. That's, I think, where the fun comes from. It's just like how willing he is to take the piss. But no one really knows his story. So should we get into it? Let's do it. Let's go back to the start. So Gianni Infantino was born in 1970 in a small town called Brig in the Swiss Alps. Weirdly, Brig is only six miles down the road from where Set Blatter was born. Wow. So they're both just this Swiss sort of something in the water. Something in the water there. I mean, it's Switzerland. Blazer. Mile. Obviously we'll tie that up. It's a bit like there's the OnlyFans triangle of Bonnie Blue, Lily Phillips and whoever the other one is.

5:50And Kieran Lee. He lives in the triangle, doesn't he? True, yeah. Friend of the show. Seth Blatter, Johnny Infantino and Platini. There's a few. Well, I mean, FIFA's offices around there. Yeah. There you go. so he was known as Piccolo when he was a kid the little one because he was very small he had red hair and freckles he's got some pictures of him here he's quite sweet actually looks like Leo Sayer

6:17doesn't Infantino already mean Infantino yeah I think it means little baby so he's little one little baby it can mean the youthful one or it means little baby fucking baby Infantino is a funny one though Cause like he's not somebody who can imagine being a child. Like I think he came out of the womb as a 45 year old bald man in a suit. In a suit. Yeah. There he is. Little one. There he is. Yeah. Documents. Yeah. I mean, if you're called little one, little baby, you can see why you might have a bit of a complex. Yeah. Yeah. And try and really get some respect. His parents were Italian, right? Yeah.

6:52Yeah. Yeah. So he get the impression he was, he was a little bit of a nerd as a kid. as you'll be surprised to hear. But he was obsessed with football, but quite shit at playing. So instead he becomes president of his local club at the age of 18. It's quite impressive, president already at 18. To be honest, that's sort of me. I read in the original research that you wrote, George, that Infantino used to rush home from school to read Gazetta della Sport, the Italian sports paper. I can relate to that. You love sport, but you are shit. Yeah. Yeah, I think he didn't get it past the third team and he thought that's not enough.

7:31No shame in that. The third team's a very good team. Sure. How many teams were there? Three, I assume, yeah. I used to, when I was younger, I used to listen to five live commentary of matches and then just in a cassette thing with a microwave just re-commentate it. Jesus Christ. Now here you are. Look at me now. Living the dream. It's the football equivalent of train spotting, right? Isn't it? Yeah, he's a massive dog by himself. Um, actually, he, so he became, he said he became president of the local club. His, uh, what sealed the deal for him was that he promised that his mom would wash the kit.

8:07For all the other players. Even then he's buying votes. Yeah. With grubby promises. Very grubby promises. That is outrageous. Yeah. I don't know if his mom agreed to that or she, he just came back with a huge bag of laundry. Just slapped a gold Rolex on her wrist. Well, I've sent an escort to your room. now do this washing launder this

8:35yeah so he did that gig for a while before heading off to study law at uni after graduating he went straight into UEFA got a job in their legal department company man law students famously quite sort of pleased with themselves yeah no at all so by the time he's 30 He's making some moves in the UEFA legal department. It's exciting stuff. According to his former colleagues, he was very unremarkable and quiet. Yeah. Bit of a theme. I see that. Yeah. But he has two great strengths. Firstly, he's very hardworking. Much more hardworking than everyone else there. He's pathetic. And secondly, he speaks seven languages.

9:19That's seven. Nearly as many as Lee Andrews, Kay Price's boyfriend. so it's uh so i jod we just we disabled yeah um soy ik benign gay me siento african um today i feel arab me chamo yeah migrant worker orgy sono una migrant worker yeah turns out as well yeah i was sort of thinking the languages they're disappointingly just like the ones you do just like all the european ones i think i swiss people swiss people are presumably quite good at languages you're gonna have french you're gonna have italian probably gonna have a bit of german yeah english if you're working at uefa what are the other ones spanish and portuguese i think he speaks lemanese does he because he's arabic yeah he used to speak arabic yeah i mean it's impressive seven it is we can't say that way from him and you know the geek shall inherit the earth yeah shall inherit the fifa um so apparently early on even though he's this really like sort of bland, grey, odourless, colourless blazer.

10:19There are stories of him wooing FIFA delegates, because obviously there's a very international crowd coming into the FIFA offices all the time, and he's often spotted, like, telling jokes in several different languages. So even then there's a bit of this thing of, like, okay, the, like, Swiss jocks might not rate him, but they're, like, the sort of people in the FIFA periphery, they quite like this guy, because he's talking to them on their level, wooing them. Yeah. My mother-in-law does so much laundry.

10:50Yeah. Yeah. So clearly those skills impress Michel Platini, the French legend, who became UEFA president in 2007. Right. So Platini, obviously a glorious player. I think he won the Ballon d 'Or. Yeah. Certainly one of the greats. And Gianni rides his coattails to become general secretary. Wow. He's sort of second in command. Michel, do you have any dirty laundry? that needs to be in. Because I know someone who is very handy with a washing machine. Yeah, Michel likes him. And to be fair, I don't think it's his football knowledge that Michel's into. Apparently he doesn't rate Gianni's football knowledge at all.

11:28No, okay. Which kind of makes sense, I think, like, you're one of the great players and then this guy's like a lawyer. Yeah. But he's just keeps making jokes and elvish. Kling on. But you've got a picture of Michel Platini, Gianni Infantino and Seth Blatter here at the 07 Champions League final. It's a bad pick of Infantino, that. He looks like a bouncer. I mean, he's bigger here. He's a bit chunkier and he's got a little beard. Yeah, he does have a little beard. I don't know why he got rid of the little beard because like me, he's a member of the weak chin community. He's got a lot in common.

12:00And if you have got a weak chin, then facial hair is advised. Yeah. And he's quite thumb-like because he's bald as well. I didn't want to be the first one to say it, but he's very thumb-like. It's a bad angle. They've gone under. True. Although he's got double eyebrows and you've got none. He's got class eyebrows. You never say that. And that's why he's the president of FIFA. I will be tinting them soon. And then we'll see his laughing. Yeah, he has got fantastic eyebrows. And always has. Have you seen his wife? His wife also. There we go. Just in the state, huh? Just talking eyebrows. His wife has got some seriously impressive brows as well.

12:37His kids. I haven't seen any pictures of his kids. Let's have a look. can we look at the Infantino family please? Yeah, his wife's got good eyebrows. His wife's eyebrows are even stronger than his. Oh yeah, they have got good eyebrows. All four of his daughters who are pictured there. Yeah, great eyebrows. Yeah, he's looking particularly egg-like in that picture. He's more egg than thumb, isn't he? He is now, yeah. Because the... He's got a cone there. He's like pointed. Yeah, it's conical. He looks a little bit like, is it Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars? I'm more like the hood from Thunderbirds.

13:11I think also because here we're looking at him. He's at a wedding in India, so he's in like Indian dress, but it sort of adds to the like slightly sci-fi. Yeah. Clothing you typically see him in. Yeah. He looks like a sci-fi baddie. Yeah. Yeah. If he had the like, he could be an Ood from Dr. He had the ones with the really clinical head. Yeah. But like with the like, Oh yeah. The ones with the like prawn mouth. Yeah. Like a Zed, Zach's a Chad. definitely weren't one of the nerds rushing on to read Gazette of Dallas 4 the other nerdy thing I did is I used to just watch see facts just put the Newcastle game on and just stare at the screen until the score changed is that sort of your age though isn't it that's kind of the options well yeah didn't have sky so just stare at see facts alright so Platini doesn't rate him as I said he thinks his football knowledge is shit he's just like a functionary so one example Gianni's very into VAR which makes sense again the nerds love it don't they um platini hated it makes the idea of our because he's a sort of like he's a football emotion football man which i'm with michelle on that he called him a good number two which is quite patronizing at this point no one's got any inkling that gianni infantino this good number two will one day be gunning for the top job in football but that all changed one day in may 2015 when you know the fifa officials have all gathered at this five-star hotel in Zurich for their annual conference.

14:38They're going to re-elect the president. The piggies are in the trough. All the sort of grim FIFA sleaziness is on display. These grotesque figures. But before they can even peruse the grudier section at the buffet or slide a morsel of caviar between their hideous jowls, them are in white fluffy dressing gowns in my head as they're being arrested. Yeah, it's a raid on a dodgy massage parlor, basically, isn't it? I didn't realise it was so dramatic, the swoop. So the FBI had been investigating for three years. They immediately arrested a load of them. One of the people arrested is Jerome Valka, who said straight afterwards, I don't feel guilty.

15:22Today I don't feel guilty. Today I feel not guilty. He is currently serving a 16-year football ban over some involvement in a$10 million payment relating to the 2010 World Cup hosting rights. A lot of it goes to Jack Warner, that fella from the Caribbean. I think he had a really good position because the Caribbean has so many countries for a federation. So for votes, they're quite powerful. Oh, so he's getting all the key. And those federations aren't that wealthy, so they're quite bribeable. Yeah. So just to go back, I don't feel guilty. I don't feel guilty. How do you plead? Wasn't there also the South American guy, Nicholas Lias or something who said that he would vote for England's bid for the 2018 World Cup if they gave him a knighthood.

16:09Which I think is a good deal. It's a great deal. Cheap deal. Should have done it. Yeah. Yeah, they turned him down. Yeah, obviously another one was Chuck Blazer. Just Google him if you're listening. We'll flash a picture up of him. I mean, that's what a FIFA official should look like. Chuck Blazer had two neighbouring apartments in like a New York penthouse, didn't he? Yeah. One for him and one for his cat. Yeah, his cat had his own Manhattan penthouse. That man looks, he's hairy. He looks just like, he looks a bit like Noam Chomsky. Yeah. I was about to say, he looks like a sort of Soviet revolution.

16:40Yeah. So is that the type of FIFA bent blazer you want? Zach or is he still a bit? Yeah. I want, I want like chubby, chubby just sort of like gorging on lobster with like his beard filled with like Yeah, the napkins tucked in. The napkins tucked in. I agree on the still like bits of food in it. I agree on the gorging, but he's too, um, disgusting. he's too hairy yeah I want slicked back oh yeah you want you want layers yeah you want the South American variety hang on I know the one you've got in mind no I mean like like Blatter he's got like slicked back hair like he's greasier yeah yeah if anything Chuck Blazer could do with a bit of grease yeah what do you think he's a bit dry he needs a basting yeah well Chuck Blazer turns out to be the worst but basically there's all sorts of money flying around.

17:31At the same time, the Swiss police opened separate criminal proceedings over the extremely questionable awarding of the 2018 and 22 World Cups to Russia and Qatar. There's no way they got them on merit. That was bribery. I think we all agree. By the end of that month, 14 officials at FIFA had been indicted in the United States and Switzerland. Sepp Blatter falls four days later. He actually has a quick election and wins it. But then more stuff comes out and he's like, all right, yeah, I'll fuck off and so does Michel Platini over a 2 million Swiss francs payment right there's money just going everywhere there's quite a lot of like Calife who you know he owns PSG he was involved in this transaction where a house was bought and then leased to a FIFA official and in return he got the B in sports rights for the World Cups that kind of stuff all that jazz so Platini said it was like for consultancy, right?

18:31And it was... Yeah, you need a house. So he was cleared of criminal charges. Blatter and Platini have never been convicted of any criminal charges, but they both got banned from football for eight years. Right. So suddenly there's a power vacuum. Yeah. Did some of them get done criminal charges? Yeah, about 10 people have been convicted. And not Blatter. No. Kept his hands clean. He doesn't feel guilty. He doesn't feel guilty. So, I mean, that's good enough for me.

18:58Gianni Infantino:The world's biggest soccer tournament has arrived, and you can trade the entire tournament on Kalshi. On Kalshi, you can trade every match from the opening stage all the way to the final. On Kalshi, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Kalshi app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Kalshi. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors.

19:27Gianni Infantino:Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calshi.com slash regulatory. If you're a small business owner, you'll know just what it's like to be the chief everything officer. HR, payroll, employee benefits, well, Gusto can do all of that for you. Gusto is online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses. It's all in one, remote friendly, and incredibly easy to use. It's quick and simple to switch to Gusto. Just transfer your existing data to get up and running fast. Try Gusto today at gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer and get three months free when you run your first payroll.

20:04That's gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer. The entire summer of soccer is on prize picks. All 48 countries in every matchup. And if you rep your side before the round of 16 on prize picks, you can win a trip to the finals in New York. It's the biggest tournament ever, which means there's even more opportunities to cash in while you root for your favorite national sides and global soccer stars. Download the app today and use code CUP26 to get$50 instantly in lineups when you play your first$5. Download the app today and use code CUP26 to get$50 instantly in lineups when you play your first$5.

20:34PrizePix, America's number one sports picks app. Anyway, with Blatter and Platini out of the way, Gianni spots an opening and he runs for FIFA president. he actually uses what's described as a strikingly similar playbook to the one Platini had been planning to use so he's copied his homework exactly I mean Platini had this whole campaign for president ready to go basically before he was forced to step down and Infantino stepped in he sort of portrayed himself as this like clean up the swamp candidate who's an alternative to all that corruption that's gone past but he was also in the swamp he was very much in the swamp and he basically picks up Platini's points and his campaign.

21:20What really lands though is Infantino's promise to give - Do their laundry? To do their laundry, yeah. He goes around all the member associations and he says, doesn't matter about the distances, we've got a really good career service. My mum will work, she'll do it. Yeah, we'll collect it every morning. We'll be back in your bed by, back in your room by morning. No, he promises along with that to give the associations a lot of money, a lot more money than they have been getting. So in his final speech before the presidential vote, he tells them the money of FIFA is your money. And apparently that drew far louder applause than anything Infantino had said about reform, integrity, all governance throughout his entire campaign.

22:04Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. Also, did he even have, like, was anyone else running? No. Yeah, someone I think was running on this. His next couple are unopposed. I would argue that more than him nailing the playbook, it just goes in off his ass. He's just the next most senior person who hasn't got any dirt. Because he's the nerd, they wouldn't let him come to the parties with the cigars. Do you think that's it? Yeah. Sort of the way Elon Musk never went to Epstein Island. Yeah. Because he wanted to. He was desperate to fucking go. But they were like, fuck off, you dude.

22:36I think it's like, Gianna, you command the fort, can't you? As Michelle grabs his coat and heads out with a cigar. I'm off to buy private education at Harrow for some Qatari delegate so it's but it works for him so he's he's managed to keep his hands clean through the whole corruption he's Stalin Stalin was secretary of the communist party he knew about everything but he was clean and he steps into the big job into the top job he's elected officially FIFA president in February 2016 and at that point he was seen as this new hope for FIFA. Like he seemed quite humble. He was hardworking. He flew to one early FIFA function on an easy jet flight.

23:22So, you know, he was seen as like, we've swept out the old, the old... Easy jet speedy boarding? No speedy boarding. Do you think he paid extra to use the overhead locker? Surely. Yeah, he's picked his seat today. I will say he flew to one function on an easy jet flight. Yeah, it didn't last. It did not last. So according to people who've worked at FIFA, it is an intoxicating place to work. So I got a quote from a former FIFA exec here about how rapidly new hires can fall under the spell of FIFA. Within six to 12 months, you see a huge personality shift. You see people who suddenly have this massive sense of entitlement.

24:02You get angry about the smallest things. Like, why has this person got match tickets? Why is this person seated here? why did this person get this watch? Was anyone getting watches? Stop giving people watches. You're a football federation. Yeah. But I mean, it is quite interesting that like, he's saying that basically the whole organization, the culture is so entwined with that. Like, yeah, sort of corrupt culture that - Do you think it would just turn you into a cunt? Like if you work there? If we take Gianni and Fantino as exhibit A, I think you can probably say yes it did happen quickly he was quite hungry for that shit he was but do you think just anyone there it's just like having spoiled your parents spoil you did you used to get any freebies when you were a journalist to turn into a monster free trip to someone's doorstep camp do you think even if you work in the canteen at FIFA I like my fucking Rolex for dinner ladies are they all just like really spoiled in the canteen you just like ordered it and you just like I said large yeah probably I wouldn't be surprised about that at all and yeah it's safe to say that that transition happened very quickly to Infantino so within a year of being elected president he insists on bringing this entourage of four functionaries to all the major finals with him so wherever he goes they form a protective square around him nobody can get near him.

25:37Bear in mind that like six months earlier, this was some like nondescript blazer in the back office. Nobody knew who he was. And three months earlier, he was cramming himself into like seat 27E on an EasyJet flight. Do you think he went EasyJet, maybe like BA, kept up or was it straight? Lufthansa. EasyJet straight to private jet. Yeah, speedy boarding. Yeah, premium economy. That's the slow creep that FIFA does for you. are the four functionaries just like the guys are they bodyguards or are they like I'm not sure if they're bodyguards or just like I guess they're they're performing a bodyguard right they're basically they're probably old whoever they're the new infant yeah that's what I quite like is it again it's mainly about just like keeping your juniors down kind of thing just like do you mind just being a human shield for me yeah so they're forming a protective square around that's not in my job description I'm the accountant I'm the CFO because they won't give him any actual bodyguards so he just has to find people and get my own.

26:35Yeah. But apparently even in the VIP hospitality boxes he's still got them around him and apparently it made things rather difficult at the lavish buffets that he was attending. Because they have to be like one foot away from him. Quite awkward at the urinal. Yeah. Don't want to be the guy at the front. Yeah. So what, just anywhere he's doing it. Anywhere he's just got these four people around him. His mum's trying to do laundry at home and he's just getting in the way. Actually, if you've been barged out of the way by some FIFA functionary in a hospitality box, you could have really hurt yourself.

27:10You could spike your finger on the cocktail stick. On the little pineapple and cheese. Yeah, you could burn yourself on a hot tray. Hot canapé on the mouth. Yeah. That would be an accident. It would be an accident. Not your fault at all. Elbow to the head. Well, then you need to lawyer up, my friend, because you're fighting some of the most powerful minds in the legal profession. Today, I feel litigious. Yeah. today I feel lawyer up bitch yeah injury lawyers for you they could take on the might of FIFA you know where the Swiss criminal courts and the FBI have failed I believe that the lion hearted lawyers the lion hearted lawyers can fight for you Britain's number one personal injury firm they would they would definitely do it yeah they'd give it a go certainly give it a go because it's no win no fee yeah have a crack for God's sake if I ever encounter Gianni Infantino I'm not going to have a go at him or punch him I'm going to trip over his foot and bring a personal injury claim.

28:03That's not bad. Yeah, see you in court. Today, I feel... Take the high road. It's worth a shot. I don't feel guilty for faking an accident. Don't fake them. That was time wasted. Injury lawyers for you. Yeah, they'll fight for you. Details in the episode description. Michel Platini once said of Gianni Infantino, he was a good number two, but he's not a good number one. He worked very well at UEFA, but he has one problem. he likes the rich and powerful people the ones with money it's his character so even you know we were saying does FIFA just corrupt you but he's got a particular weakness for it he's Peter Mandelson he's Sarah Ferguson they're just like rich guys and by 2018 that personality trait is very clear in Infantino that's the year that he has his first meeting with Donald J.