Inside Daniel Dubois' 'insane' pre-fight house party | Extra shot

24 Jul 2025 · 58 min · 28 chapters

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In short

The Upshot (Extra Shot) covers three main things: Daniel Dubois’ “insane” pre-fight house party, UFO sightings, and football admin/awards talk. Dubois’ heavyweight title hopes are discussed after his loss to Oleksandr Usyk; the episode claims Dubois’ camp was thrown off by a 70-person party at his Essex mansion hours before the ring walk, with loud music and rum punch. Dubois’ father Stanley is portrayed as a control freak who previously ran brutal training (hours of push-ups from age five; neighbors once called police). Notable example: Dubois reportedly had to walk to Wembley after security wouldn’t let the entourage in due to missing passes, arriving around 8:20.

Guests

Jack Rivlin and Zach Sweeney-Lynch (plus JP/“JP’s here” as a co-host). UFO segment features Zhao Felix (discussed as a UFO-hunting guest) and Valentina Rueda-Beleth (a Colombian model with a widely shared 20,000-feet “UFO” video). Other football examples include Crystal Palace’s Europa League demotion due to ownership rules, and ESPN’s ESPYs awarding Christian Pulisic “best soccer player.”

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

Season Predictions and Introduction to Calci

0:00 to 0:38

Explore early soccer predictions and discover Calci, a prediction market platform.

“Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions.”

Lighthearted Banter and Fan Dedication

1:54 to 3:00

Hosts discuss fan dedication and share humorous anecdotes about soccer culture.

“Finally taken off your Trevor Chalabur shirt.”

The Lionesses and Cup Victories

3:00 to 3:52

Hosts celebrate recent victories by the Lionesses and reflect on their success.

“Shout out Olex Olex Speaking of cup victories The Lionesses are in the final Go on girls It's coming home Did you watch it?”

Chloe Kelly's Rising Stardom

3:52 to 4:50

Discussion about Chloe Kelly's impact and memorable moments in women's soccer.

“I saw Mario and Luigi, two geezers giving it to all the female fans before the game.”

Kian Harrit's Controversial Fame

4:50 to 6:14

Hosts recount Kian Harrit's infamous chair-throwing incident and the fan chant it inspired.

“And he was like, he was like, Chloe, I'm going to call you Coco because that's why I called my daughter.”

Interacting with Fans and Celebrities

6:14 to 7:12

Conversation about interactions with sports figures and the consequences of online comments.

“If he didn't Cheer up lads Come on Anyway, speaking of knockout heroes, do you remember a couple of weeks ago we talked about Kian Harrit, who's the Oldham striker?”

Daniel Dubois' Insane House Party

7:12 to 14:01

Exploration of the chaotic house party thrown by Dubois' father before a major fight.

“I think it's more ominous that he didn't say anything.”

Daniel Dubois' Pre-Fight Party Analysis

14:01 to 16:04

Discussion on the unconventional house party Daniel Dubois attended before his fight.

“But there's loads of people just chilling outside as well.”

The Role of Boxing Dads and Superstition

16:04 to 18:29

Exploration of the dynamics between boxing dads and their fighters, including superstitions surrounding pre-fight rituals.

“Can you just slip off your wristband and cross it through the fence?”

Joseph Parker's Unexpected Background

18:29 to 19:30

Conversation about Joseph Parker's controversial past and its potential impact on his career.

“Apparently Parker's the next one for Usyk.”
Show all 28 chapters

Christian Pulisic's Rise in Soccer

19:30 to 21:08

Overview of Christian Pulisic's achievements and comparisons to other great soccer players.

“Donald Trump lifted the Club World Cup trophy on the pitch.”

Pulisic and American Soccer Culture

21:08 to 24:57

Discussion on Pulisic's role in American soccer and the perception of soccer in the US.

“I think Pulisic is the fastest to 50 goals or something like that.”

The ESPN Awards and Athlete Recognition

24:57 to 28:00

Analysis of the recent ESPN awards and the significance of awards like the Sporties.

“It's going to be annoying if he fucking nails it in the World Cup.”

Palace's UEFA Missteps

28:00 to 29:50

Discussion on Crystal Palace's UEFA eligibility issues and mismanagement.

“and UEFA have this rule that you can't have two clubs with the same ownership group in the same competition.”

Steve Parrish's PR Campaign

29:50 to 31:40

Exploration of Steve Parrish's media efforts following the UEFA decision.

“I like the idea of Alexander Seferin on hold to the Palace ticket office to talk to some spotty 17-year-old.”

Steve Parrish's PR Campaign

32:51 to 33:17

Exploration of Steve Parrish's media efforts following the UEFA decision.

Comparison of Prize Money

33:17 to 33:55

Discussion on financial implications between Conference League and Europa League.

“yeah yeah 6 and 7 I just think it's 25 million prize money difference between Conference Europa.”

Comparison of Prize Money

33:57 to 34:18

Discussion on financial implications between Conference League and Europa League.

Football Transfer Blunders

34:18 to 36:20

Narrative on notable football transfer mishaps involving major clubs.

“In the meantime, Mulder had taken a call from Salzburg who called at the correct time.”

UFO Sightings and Celebrity Connections

36:20 to 39:20

Discussion about a UFO sighting by a model linked to João Felix.

“I'm going to Greece in a couple of weeks.”

Danny Dyer's UFO Docuseries

39:20 to 42:04

Exploration of Danny Dyer's experiences with UFOs and related media.

“witchy spiritual shit i saw you in the comments on instagram jp saying glass houses to me i think i I called you Potkettl Black.”

UFOs and Danny Dyer's Docuseries

42:04 to 43:02

Explore the intriguing world of UFOs through Danny Dyer's entertaining docuseries.

“I mean, I've got to say, of all the UFO footage I've seen, that is the most convincing.”

Bizarre Alien Encounters

43:02 to 45:50

Delve into bizarre stories of alien encounters and people's experiences.

“Yeah, but I can't get me head around that.”

Cultural Reflections on UFOs

45:50 to 48:08

Discuss how UFO narratives reflect societal fears and cultural shifts over time.

“And apparently in the 60s to 80s, that was the golden era of anal probing.”

The Nature of Existence and Life Forms

48:08 to 50:46

Contemplate the possibility of life beyond Earth and its implications on our understanding.

“What's more scary is the idea that we're alone.”

Transfer Talk: Marcus Rashford and Future Moves

50:46 to 52:50

Analyze Marcus Rashford's potential transfer to Barcelona and its implications.

“What intelligent life form would sanction that deal?”

Manchester United's Challenges and Player Dynamics

52:50 to 56:00

Examine Manchester United's ongoing challenges and the dynamics of their squad.

“And maybe it's not quite the prestige move that it was, but it's pretty amazing.”

Preseason Analysis and Coaching Insights

56:00 to 57:26

Discussion about preseason friendlies, team performance, and coaching attitudes.

“I mean, I don't care what world you're in.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors.

0:32Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew, well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. This message is brought to you by Apple Card, shave ice by the beach, a trip to the state fair, and a throwback flick at the local drive-in.

1:18They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list. They're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay. Apply for Apple Card now and use in minutes with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. On the show today, inside the house party that wrecked Daniel Dubois' heavyweight title hopes, UFO hunting with Zhao Felix, and Crystal Palace's 25 million pound office cocker. This is The Upshot. I'm Jack Rivlin. Hello, Zach Sweeney-Lynch. Hello, Jack.

1:58Hello, how are you doing? Very good, thanks. Fired up. Fired up and ready to go. JP's here. Hello, brother. On license. Yeah, out and about. Ready to go. Yeah, raring to go. Finally taken off your Trevor Chalabur shirt. I am. I actually met a Chelsea fan the other day who had been to every single Chelsea World Club match, but he'd come home to the UK after every single club World Club match. he went in and out of the US like seven times he spent like ten grand why he just got obsessed with it he went to every fucking match so had he not planned to go initially he went to the first two and then was like I'm really loving it out here like I've not been to America in a while but had to get back for work and then like had a bit of savings and he spent the entirety of his savings was he have to come back for work is that why he couldn't get the time off that's fucking dedication that is mental I'm like mate it was shit why did you do that Yeah That must be like Tens of thousands of pounds I think he said he spent Like 15 grand Well I sort of know Shout out Shout out Whatever your fucking name is Shout out Olex Olex Speaking of cup victories The Lionesses are in the final Go on girls It's coming home Did you watch it?

3:09I watched up to 70 minutes And they were 1-0 down They'd come back Yeah I actually won the other round I missed the first half And then switched on About 60 minutes So caught the good bits Because you just knew They'd do it in the last half I just had faith. This is what they do, the Lionesses. There's quite a lot of Italian time-wasting followed by justice. Yeah, there was quite a lot of them giggling on the bench when we were down and then a lot of crying at full time. And even when the equaliser went in, they were already crying at like 90 minutes. I think doing it against Italy just feels so good.

3:43It feels good, doesn't it? Because they were such smug fucks after the Men's Euros final that just getting one over them feels amazing. It's coming from. It's coming from. I saw Mario and Luigi, two geezers giving it to all the female fans before the game. So I'm hoping that the female fans are like, fuck off, Mario. It's so funny though, because it's all, because it's women and they're not men and Aggie, it's all like really good natured. Like you were saying. Yeah, the side, there was a lot of like fish and chips, like it's greater than pizza. sites like that which is very it's all very and then you've got the blokes watching it and being like have some of that Italy bringing the poison really good natured game it's quite nice like instead of all chairs being thrown and like people getting arrested just a bit of like light-hearted friendly banter yeah Chloe Kelly is obviously like a star for just these like last minute contributions didn't she she scored a really important penalty in 2023 as well I can't remember it was in a shootout and it was more powerful than any penalty in the Premier League that season fucking hell well I'd have thought Lauren James would have got that because she's like Lauren James for me is the best in that team just out of loyalty just out of loyalty to the James family you know that you know do you remember also so when they won the last Euros obviously like all you want to do is go and sing Sweet Caroline with your mates and like have a bender but you've got to do a tour of all the breakfast studios and Chloe Kelly had the misfortune of drawing Richard Maidley as her interviewer.

5:17It was the Alan Partridge of real life. And he was like, he was like, Chloe, I'm going to call you Coco because that's why I called my daughter. And then he was like, you know, if I was, how are you feeling? If I was your dad right now and I was like, how are you feeling, love? What would you say? I think she would have said, fuck off you prick. Yeah, you patronising git. But yeah, for me, the star because she just pops up off the bench. Yeah, and Aguimang, was it? Who scored the other one? She's a bit of a star as well. They're saying she might win Sports personality The competition we don't care about Yeah I don't care about it The most worthless Going into football It's just fucking lame I hate it I love it Sports personality I love it It's like Moron shit That's moron shit You've been sucked in I have And I'm in Who's inspired you I drank the Kool-Aid Didn't our friend Luke Littler Get it this year He's 10 to 1 To win it this year That's fucking right mate That's great Yeah He should have won it If he didn't Cheer up lads Come on Anyway, speaking of knockout heroes, do you remember a couple of weeks ago we talked about Kian Harrit, who's the Oldham striker?

6:22He scored a late winner, Chloe Kelly style, in the playoff final last season. And then quite soon after that, he got into a brawl in Ibiza where he threw a chair and it knocked a woman out. Anyway, we talked about the story. Over the weekend, Oldham fans, at a pre-season friendly before it, Kian was warming up and the fans unveiled a new chant for him.

6:52He's through a chair and he gives a fuck. Yeah, he scored the goal to send Oldham up. Love it. It's a good shot. Yeah, it is. Yeah, and he gave them a nice, you know, a nice grin and clapped. It was all very sweet and good-natured. And he has been in touch with us too. Not sure it was... He wasn't grinning and clapping when he did it. Not sure it was quite as good-natured, because obviously we talked about the fight in Ibiza, and then we also talked about his previous convictions for poaching hares in North Yorkshire and we clipped it and put it on Instagram as a reel and yeah, Kian just forwarded it to us with no comment.

7:26Just the reel? Yeah, he just shared the reel with us. It's quite scary. I think it's more ominous that he didn't say anything. It's just like, it's like seeing someone from the other side of the room and they're just like, he's like living upstairs rent-free right now. Oh God, yeah. Just before you go to bed at night. it's the walk to work I'm worried about is a chair going to come through the window of upshot towers do you think you see a pack of lurcher dogs just hunting you down just poking their noses out of a blacked out Range Rover safe to say he'd probably knock us all out wouldn't he oh mate he's one of the people that we've talked about that I least want to be on the wrong side of especially knowing the sort of animals that he keeps do you think if we were allowed all three of us to go at him no way we'd have a chance it was like the one gorilla versus a hundred three upshot homes versus one Keon Harrett I think we'd get absolutely fucking I think he could have without actually making contact with us he could have all three of us on our knees sobbing yeah begging I think you'd go first then you and me you're definitely going first I think I'd just step out my front door and there'd be one of those bear traps I'm just going to be trapped in that and then he's just going to come and just beat the shit out of me while my leg's trapped in it or maybe even maybe even I'm going to have to check my garden in case he's dug one of those you know the like Viet Cong traps he's dug a hole in the ground with like spikes there's just a lurcher waiting there for you I hope no one's got any pet rabbits because if so double lock the hutch tonight have you got rabbits?

8:56no my dog looks like a rabbit though yeah true he can come after me but if he comes after pickles we're going to have issues anyway Kian just want you to know it's all good natured yeah we love you yeah please don't ask We stack up from a bit though, didn't we? Yeah. I don't know, two weeks is a long time. Yeah. Has anyone else got in touch? I'm trying to remember any. John Terry blocked us on Twitter.

9:24I had beef with James Arthur on Twitter once. Do you remember James Arthur? He won Pop Idol. I can't remember what I commented, but he took it really the wrong way and he was fucking DMing me. I'll try and get him out. I can share him. I had to block. Well, we both broke each other because we got a bit much. Wait, you were abusing him on Twitter? No, I wasn't abusing him. I just said something about his record and he went absolutely nuts at me on Twitter. And I was like, Jesus Christ, this is a bit much. And then the next year, I know we'd kind of both blocked each other. So it's kind of ended there.

9:52James, have you left him? A truce. Yeah, a truce. James, Kian, it's all. We're sorry. Grealish, we had a message from Grealish. Oh, that was nice. What did he say? It was when he did that interview and he said the best thing since sliced veg. And he was like, I said bread, it's my accent. But he was like laughing. was quite nice about it. Unlike his manager who sent us a legal letter. Right, which I can't go into. Shall we talk about some sports stories? Yeah, in fact, actually, speaking of people getting absolutely battered by people twice their size, it was obviously Dubois against Usyk on Saturday night and it was a resounding victory for Alexander Usyk.

10:35Fifth round and, yeah, Usyk's, So he's undisputed heavyweight champion for the second time now. He's also been undisputed at cruiserweight as well. So I think now definitively greatest boxer of his generation, really. Also, second time that he's beaten Daniel Dubois in the last 12 months. And, you know, after the last time, the last fight, you'd think that Daniel would be leaving nothing to chance with his training this time around. Like he knows he's going to be, he's got to be top of his game. and fortunately Daniel's got his dad in the corner who is a real stickler for intense training. So we talked before about this brutal regime that he had Daniel and his other siblings who are also boxers on when they were kids.

11:25Daniel's got these scars on his hands because his dad would make him do press-ups for hours at a time. So he did this interview with the BBC where he said that when he was five, he held the world record for consecutive push-ups. How many? I think it was five hours, he said. Five hours worth of push-ups. Aged five. Aged five. Is his dad all right? No. The neighbours also didn't worry about that as well. There was one time police got called to their house because Daniel and his siblings were doing laps around their estate for like hours at a time and the neighbours thought that this was child abuse, basically.

12:08Dad's got him on a bleep test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did an interview, he was asked about his upbringing one time and Dubois said, the outside world sort of passed me by. So it was just like boot camp. It was boot camp, really. I find Dubois quite childlike and I wonder whether that's because he's been so... Because the outside world passed him by. He wasn't allowed the internet, was he? I think he wasn't allowed a phone or the internet. And I don't know. It was just a... I'm sure there was a thing about not being allowed water until you'd... Yeah. Sometimes his dad wouldn't allow... He wouldn't give them dinner or water until he'd finished his push-ups.

12:45Jesus Christ. Which... Isn't the whole family a fighting family as well? Yeah. So his sister's... His sister held a title. I forget which one. Cruise weight. Under three's press-ups. Yeah. Yeah. The under 11's bleep test. Yeah. Yeah. So obviously it was quite a mental childhood, but it seems like Dubois Senior has mellowed a little bit in his old age. Because on the day of Daniel's big fight last Saturday, his dad Stanley threw what the press have described as an insane 70 person house party at their family mansion in Essex. So this is... Some tunes going. yeah it was this is literally hours before the biggest fight of his career yeah he's he's become a heavyweight champion if he wins it and daniel is at the party he's like at home trying to try to get ready for it and the house is just slowly filling up with more and more people apparently most of them were strangers to him just like his dad mate dad's mates and like friends of friends got a video from behind the scenes at the party this is like a few hours before the ring walk really will cry like two hours.

13:57Daniel Dubois. Fuck you. Yeah, there's tunes.

14:09Tune.

14:14Looks like a pretty vibey house. Isn't that a famous actor? Less vibey outside. But there's loads of people just chilling outside as well. I guess it is quite normal for them to have an entourage. Yeah, but surely, like, you shouldn't be there. I was reading, like, people, former professional boxers talking about it, and they were like, two hours before your ring walk, every single detail needs to be right. One little thing can throw you off. Yeah, you're in a ring walk, right? Completely on my own, in my zone. Yeah. And he's at a fucking house box. Yeah. Having it. I'm sure Usyk's, like, in his meditation chamber, like, eating micro portions of spirulina protein shakes and memorising punch sequences.

14:56And instead, Daniel was just at some house party covered in rum punch. It's like music blasting out. Apparently he had to take himself off for a drive at some point to try and clear his head. Bloop test, round of block. I mean, I do rate it. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what, if Daniel was in on this or his dad just did it out of the blue. though apparently he then as it like got closer to the fight time his dad sadly requested extra cars so they can get the whole entourage brought to Wembley together and then when they got there they didn't have enough security passes to get in so security wouldn't let them wouldn't let them through and Daniel ends up having to get out and walk to Wembley so he only got into the stadium at 8 20.

15:47Can you imagine walking down Wembley Way and just being like aren't you sure it's like you're not supposed to be there he's like fucking Ubers for his dad's face mental he got into Wembley 90 minutes before the ring walk against the best boxer of his generation you're against Usy come on apparently at this point his dad's still arguing with security about getting everyone in he's like his dad was threatening to call off the fight if they didn't let everyone in Diamond Jordan said on TalkSport that there was a that his dad was threatening to say that Dubois is not fighting unless my mates can come yeah You imagine he's like ringing Daniel as well, helping like, come back for a sec.

16:23Yeah. Can you just slip off your wristband and cross it through the fence? It's just like, it's ridiculous. Yeah. It's the kind of thing you expect Jake Paul to do before his fight against angry ginge or something. I cannot square that with what his dad was like. Although maybe the defining characteristic is like control freak. it's just like doing something to control them yeah where it's like you think this is your day but fuck you I'm gonna make you come to my party kind of thing yeah I don't know there's my totally cod psychology of it yeah I don't know there's been a lot of other of like boxing commentators and stuff have been coming out of being like we need to have a there needs to be an inquest into this apparently there are the whole like Dubois camp is gonna look into it his promoter came out and said I would like to change the word from party to gathering yeah yeah sure mate it was actually a shindick there's certainly a certain profile of boxing dad isn't there like Fury's dad's fucking mental he's fucking mental I think you've got to like be a bit tweaked yeah you could actually see John Fury throwing a little party like that but I don't think Tyson Fury would be there to be fair Daniel Dubois trainer said that they'd actually done the same thing before he fought AJ in last year's November or something as well, I think it was.

17:49We'll have a little shibs. Yeah, they'd had a little party. And for that time, it worked. Yeah, we got away with it. So were they almost like it's superstition now? I mean, it's possible that he's the kind of guy who's like, I just need my mind to be taken off it. Yeah. But you can't. I think if you've got Usyk sitting in a dark room getting ready and meditating, you kind of want to have a bit of structure. Most grooms can't relax at their wedding until they've done their speech. So I can't imagine you can relax at a party when you're about to go toe-to-toe with Usyk. I don't know. It seems ridiculous.

18:22Has Daniel said anything yet? No, he hasn't come out and said anything. I think his dad's probably got some questions. His dad's probably locked him in the airing cupboard to check on the homebrew. He's got the bleep test out. Off you go, son. Apparently Parker's the next one for Usyk. Joseph Parker. That unifies another belt. He's Kiwi, isn't he? The only thing I know about Joseph Parker is that he was named in a big drug smuggling suit in New Zealand. Uh-oh. Where, like, he was never even charged with any crime, but these guys got done for, I think it was meth. It could have been coke. And Parker, they basically got these guys' phones and all these really incriminating texts.

19:02And one of the texts was like, yeah, the money's coming from Joseph Parker, the world's champion boxer. Cheers, mate. And then there was, like, a user called, like, Jay Parker, his, like, year of birth or something like that. It was bad. But he's never actually been charged of any crime. But yeah. So I wonder what his pre-fight party's looking for. I want to go. Maybe we should have a joint party before. Right. It's been a big old summer for soccer in America. The Juventus squad got to advise on the bombing of Tehran. Donald Trump lifted the Club World Cup trophy on the pitch. And a whole 3 ,000 people turned out in Florida to see Ulsan versus Mamalodi Sundowns.

19:42And, you know, we're now a year out from the World Cup itself, which is going to be largely held in America. And the ESPN Awards, which are the most prestigious sporting gongs in America, they're like their answer to the Grammy. The Sports Personality of the Year. Yeah, the Sporties. Maybe I should get into it. Yeah, I think you'll be more entertained by this one. So they call them the ESPYs because they're like the Grammys and the Emmys and all that stuff. Anyway, the ESPN Awards have anointed a new hero ahead of the World Cup. so there's a best soccer player award and the last two winners of it were Lionel Messi and Kylian Mbappe which sort of makes sense and you know everyone's wondering who's going to be crowned this year maybe Laminia Mal Vinicius Junior Rodri but in the end the winner the judge's choice was Mr.

20:30Christian Pulisic who to be fair you know he led AC Milan to a historic 8th place this season and he did captain his country in that brave 1-0 defeat to Panama back in March. Don't get me wrong, Christian Pulisic is a very good player, right? Since he's left Chelsea, he's done all right at AC Milan. He might end up being America's best player ever. I think he probably will. Yeah, who's he up against? Clint Dempsey. Brad Guzan. Brad Guzan. Casey Keller. Josie Altidore. Damarcus Beasley. DeAndre Yedlin. The list is endless. Freddie Adu. Yeah, Freddie Adu. It's got a way to go to catch Freddie Adu's advert.

21:11I think Pulisic is the fastest to 50 goals or something like that. He's probably the most. He's very good. Yeah. He is a good player. He's probably not the best soccer player in the world at the moment. And just for context, it's not like it was the best American player. Like I said, Messi and Mbappe are the previous winners. And Max Verstappen won best F1 driver. But in every other category, they did basically give the award to Americans. So the best athlete overall, I think they gave to Simone Biles, the gymnast. It's quite weird in the non-Olympic year. Yeah. I've, yeah. Do you think it's like Americans lack of football knowledge?

21:44They want to give it to someone that they might relate to? Yes. Yeah. And I feel like Christian Pulisic, they've been trying to make this happen for some time. Quite a while. A long time. They've been banging that drum. So for example, last year, the pundits on Fox News, I've got a clip, I'll show you, of them comparing him to Messi and Maradona after America beat Bolivia 2-0. There's nobody like Messi and I don't think that there ever will be somebody like Messi. It's a generational talent. It's like Maradona and then Messi has just had that crown. But there's other players, Jude Bellingham, you know, Pulisic's coming up.

22:19Pulisic's coming up, isn't he? He's like 26. Yeah, he's just a kid. Maradona. Yeah, that really great. Fucking kebab. Spot the odd one out in that list. Messi, Maradona, Bellingham. Bellingham. I think, yeah, Pulisic. And then also, do you know that American TV show, Porn Stars? Love this TV show. Yeah, it is really good. So it's like people bring stuff in that they want to pawn and the guy who owns the pawn shop has to decide am I going to buy it or not. And this fan brings in a signed Pulisic Chelsea shirt asking for$1 ,500. Here's shop owner Corey Harrison's take on Pulisic's legacy. So what do we got here?

22:55I have a signed Christian Pulisic jersey placed for Chelsea FC team in the Premier League. This guy's like the phenom guy, right? He's like the LeBron James of soccer. Definitely. And then the owner of the shirt gives it the hard sell on Christian Pulisic. He ended up being one of the top players in the Premier League, which, I mean, for an American, that's pretty far and few between. He is probably one of the most watched on the Chelsea team. Oh, yeah? What does that mean? One of the most watched on the Chelsea team. They're all watched. They're all watched. You mean player cam? He's shouting absolute fucking brazenly.

23:29Also, Christian Buzic was generally on the bench. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely wasn't a starter. There's also a bit where he says that he plays up front. No, it's centre mid. He says sentiment sometimes up front. He's a winger. He is a winger, isn't he? And then they bring in the expert to judge on the value of the shirt. And here's how he describes Christian Pulisic. Big soccer fan, aren't you? Clearly. Christian Pulisic is one of the finest soccer players or football players in the world. And he plays in England. He plays for Chelsea. And the kid's 22 years old. So, you know, you imagine the talent this guy has.

24:06you know we think of guys like Messi or Ronaldo and this kid's already being compared to all of them look him nodding that damn right he's obviously like reading up a sheet as well or a football should we say in the Premier League needless to say the shirt does not sell he wants 1500 the expert values it at 400 and the owner's like not gonna sell the expert values it at 400 yeah 400 he says it's too big for the wall it's a waste of my wall space I love the bit when he goes he's 22 so you can imagine the talent here well clearly I like the LeBron James of soccer is my favourite one do you think they've kind of set it up to try and dupe the shop owner I don't think they have I think it is just like they're all chances I guess you've got to give it the hard sell but the shop owner is the one saying the LeBron thing finally do you remember when Fox Sports they ranked the five greatest athletes of all time on TV and so I'll go from number five number five Serena Williams number four Tom Brady number three Babe Ruth number two Muhammad Ali number one Michael Jordan I mean great athletes all great athletes Babe Ruth I'm not sure in baseball he was a good baseball player but we talked about on the baseball episode right his diet was I forget what it was but it was like there was an insane amount of like steaks and hamburgers and cocaine and unburied women yeah I mean all of those are probably the best in their sport but apart from Serena Williams and Muhammad Ali none of them compete against any other country yeah so they're just doing America here or they're saying globally no this is great this is great oh right on top of that what's the difference yeah true yeah surprised there's no Michael Phelps on there yeah yeah yeah I'm trying to think who else ridiculous they would have chucked in Well, Pulisic Yeah, Wayne Pulisic somewhere between Babe Ruth and Muhammad Ali These guys saw the Muhammad Ali of Syria Of the mid-table battle Wayne Gretzky they could have put on there as well True Yeah, I don't know Anyway, we'll obviously, we'll see Maybe Pulisic will be a hero Yeah, he's going to come good He is good He is sort of I mean, we were talking about him We've been talking about him in the same breath as Ronaldo and Messi Oh, he's up there, isn't he?

26:30Of course to every American. It's going to be annoying if he fucking nails it in the World Cup. Those three, Ronaldo, Messi, Pulisic and for me, Weston McKennie as well. He's sort of the only one who could even be mentioned in the same breath. Like I guess there'll never be a player like DeAndre Yedlin again. Yeah. But thinking of this generation. Do you see Palace fans were out protesting last week? So they've obviously been demoted from the Europa League to the Conference League and they did this big protest outside Southhurst Park. Some of the signs were quite incomprehensible. We'll look at one.

27:08This is Scruaford Palace in Europa League Fared Square. I'm not exactly... I'm not sure what to go over there. Scruaford out loud is quite good. Written down is... Looks like a scrabble. Scruaford... Scruaford Fair and Square is just... It doesn't really make sense. Placards never really do... It's rare that you see a placard and you think, that's witty. yeah I mean she looks like she's really happy with it yeah Scroford's quite Scroford's alright but yeah anyway I do feel bad for them oh you do feel bad you might not understand their placards but they're such a likeable team and they just like yeah and like you won the FA Cup it's not really their fault what I mean it is in case you missed the whole story just to explain the reason they've been kicked out of the Europa League is because they're co-owned by John Texter this American guy who also owns Lyon who are now also in the Europa League and UEFA have this rule that you can't have two clubs with the same ownership group in the same competition.

28:10So Palace, you know, they're unfortunate. It's nothing to do with the fans or the players, whatever. Why did Lyon get picked over Palace? They finished higher in their league. They finished higher than Palace in the league. They didn't win the fucking FA Cup. They actually got relegated for like financial mismanagement or something. This year? Yeah, but they got relegated, but they appealed it and went back up. So it's a mess. It is all a mess. Although it turns out that Palace didn't exactly help themselves in their case. So all that John Texter actually had to do to ensure Palace would be in the competition was move his shares into a blind trust, it's called.

28:50But he missed the deadline for that. And Nick Miller, this athletic journalist, did a deep dive on the case. no doubt about that very typical athletic he revealed that Palace had missed a load of key emails from UEFA warning them about this deadline because the email they'd given them to receive updates on the case was info at cpfc.co.uk which as Nick Miller put very well that's the address you give to Cranks complaining there's 30 % less meat in the pies than last season with a journalist who's irritating questions you don't actually want to answer. No one's ever got a reply from InfoApp. Yeah, your heart sinks when you get given that.

29:36It's like Alexander Seferin sending off these things and just getting them bounced back from like, do not reply at CPFC. This inbox is not monitored. However, head to our website where you can fill out a contact form or consult our FAQs. Yeah, speak to our AI chatbot. Nothing more annoying than a FAQ. I like the idea of Alexander Seferin on hold to the Palace ticket office to talk to some spotty 17-year-old. Can you get Steve Parrish on the phone? You know when it's automated and he's just going, speak to a human, speak to a human. If your query is about Europa League eligibility, please consult the FAQ section of our website.

30:16I've seen Steve Parrish is out there on an absolute PR campaign at the minute. He's doing like half hour interviews with Sky Sports News. He's done a one-on-one with Gary Lineker, just like absolute sub story in it. Is he blaming the club? Blaming the club. He said, no, he's not necessarily blaming the club. Yeah. Oh, right. Sorry. Oh, so what's he saying? He's basically out just going like, this is an absolute travesty. We deserve it. Like we're, we're, we've been kicked out on a default on some weird rule. If this was Liverpool or a big club, nothing, this would have been sorted already. And it's like, well, you shouldn't use the info app.

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30:49Get rid of the info app, Give me a proper email. Give him a phone number. Steve at cpfc.co.uk. fucking moron do you see he was also trying to say that Nottingham Forest fans would want because so Nottingham Forest have taken Palace's place in the Europa League and Palace have got their spot in the Conference League and he was saying that Nottingham Forest fans wouldn't want this this isn't how they would like to qualify I'm sure mate I'm pretty sure that's not the case George who we work with is a Forest fan he confirms they want it although there is something to be said for playing in the Conference League because he might fucking win it I think so I think Palace have got a decent shout.

31:26But you do have to do, like, you don't get the really exciting games early on. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's obviously just not as big a prize. And you kind of think if you won the FA Cup, that's got to count for more than coming. Yeah. What, sixth? Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position.

31:56For a limited time, download the CalShea app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, CalShea. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calshea.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist.

32:32The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. shave ice by the beach a trip to the state fair and a throwback flick at the local drive-in they're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list they're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay apply for Apple Card now and use in minutes with Apple Pay subject to credit approval Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City branch terms and more at applecard.com yeah yeah 6 and 7 I just think it's 25 million prize money difference between Conference Europa.

33:24Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we only won like 18 mil, only 18 mil for doing that. How much did you get for the Club World Cup? 90, 94 mil. Well, that's gone straight on... Jao Pedro? It's more than that though as well because it's the, they've been holding off on the front of shirt sponsor because you get the badge for four years saying world champions. So they were saying it's going to be tens and tens. We'll cut that bit though, yeah? Too much positive news About Chelsea winning That tin pot Bullshit We're definitely going to get Sponsored by something Like fucking bitcoin now Yeah Trump or something Yeah Trump intentional resort That would be great You can just see it coming Do you see Trump said He's going to Do an executive order Saying Americans have to Call it football Not soccer That's probably the best thing He's ever fucking said Yeah I mean I presume It's a joke Yeah Yeah I don't know He's kind of in need Of a bit of good PR that's what they call a dead cat move actually this whole Crystal Palace affair reminded me of some other admin cock-ups though so this is years back Man United were trying to sign Erling Haaland when he was about 18 or something still playing for Molder in Norway and they had a £3 million deal lined up for him and they were supposed to call Molder at 9am to confirm that this was the bid that they want to lodge, but they forgot about the time difference in Norway and ended up calling at 10am their time.

34:53In the meantime, Mulder had taken a call from Salzburg who called at the correct time. And got him. And got a deal for him. It's really good. Typical United. Yeah. There was another one. This is 2015. So sort of before the era of real United chaos, David De Gea was supposed to be moving from United to Real Madrid and Kealor Navis was supposed to be going the other way. and but they ended up missing the deadline because the fax machine wasn't working they couldn't get the message shoot what are they using a fax machine in 2015 for yeah I think they still use fax machines a lot the paperwork the paperwork it's very good you'll scan it yeah docusign yeah tiny scanner I don't know did you have docusign in 2015 I think you still work with it did you I think I remember that the fax landed 28 minutes late and La Liga were just like I think it was 28 seconds or something oh really I think it was a matter of you can imagine the league would be an absolute cunt yeah anyway it seems like pleading their case isn't working for Palace so far I don't think it is I saw a pic of one of their fans turning up at the UEFA headquarters with a briefcase of cash what to try and move the needle I think he's saying like you're corrupt look you'll take bribes I love that he's just done it just like she's there I literally just work on reception yeah it's like this building actually has a number of different companies who are you here to see sure it's quite interested also i love that he's put a suit on he's suited up to be on face uefer actually i was wondering whether another reason that palace didn't get the message about their europa league eligibility issues is because maybe steve parish was off on holiday in tenerife and his tesco mobile sim didn't work over there hasn't got roaming activated yeah his data his data was out had airplane mode on yeah but what Steve should have done before his trip away was get himself a Saley Sim because that is as we know the cheapest way to get mobile data while you're abroad on holiday and so Saley if you're not familiar is a new eSIM service app brought to you by the creators of NordVPN you can download it once and you get cheap data plans for 200 countries it's the cheapest easiest way to use your phone abroad.

37:12Anyone going abroad any time? I'm going to Greece in a couple of weeks. Get yourself a Salie out. Have you got any freebies for us? Well, you're in luck, JP, because best of all, Salie are giving a 15 % discount to Upshot listeners. You're joking. What if you work for the Upshot? Still 15%. Come on. You can expense it. Actually, no, you fucking can't. You haven't even showed up for the last two weeks.

37:40P45's gonna be on my desk With a sailing e-sim Enjoy your ride Stay abroad That's two gig Have fun What are you up to in Greece? Just me and the missus Just having a bit of a What's it alone time But we're going with another couple You know Just having a nice little Triple Get them each an e-sim Yeah I'm gonna Yeah they could do You know instead of bringing a gift Yeah just bring an e-sim Yeah there's no physical sim I've actually got to get our friend's parents a thank you present so maybe I'll get them get them a sale yourself get them a sale if it's the friend's parents I'm thinking of then he's very active online particularly when he's on a sunbed right and he could probably use the VPN actually knowing what he's what's he up to online he's you know like everyone's got a mate's dad he sends them some some pretty out there whatsapp you know forwarded content he's mine right he could use a VPN okay and I think you do get some sort you get an ad blocker with your eSIM I'll get him a Saley sim then yeah tell him to get a VPN as well okay some of that stuff is not legal in Greece alright how do people get this eSIM so they can download Saley in the app store so that's Saley S-A-I-L-Y download that in the app store and use the code UPSHOT at the checkout to get 15 % off your first purchase so you'll find the details in the podcast episode description box and if you're watching this on youtube there should be a qr code on screen right now yeah yeah magic there you go um right we talked last week about matthias delict dumping his wife because he'd grown sick of her appetite for witchy spiritual shit i saw you in the comments on instagram jp saying glass houses to me i think i I called you Potkettl Black.

39:34Potkettl Black, yeah. But I didn't dump my wife. I just gritted my teeth. Anyway, not all footballers are put off by another half who does her own research. So, Jao Felix, the Chelsea, sometime Chelsea player, has begun dating this Colombian model called Valentina Rueda-Beleth. And she's credited with taking one of the clearest videos ever of a UFO. So she was on a flight cruising at 20 ,000 feet a couple of years ago when this object flew past and she captured it on her phone. Let's watch the video now. Link in the description. Prepare to be spooked.

40:20There it is. Holy fuck. And then they slow it down. it's

40:29yeah look at the shape of it it's a weird I mean oh yeah that's the still shaped like a planet could that be so by the way this was like life from out of space this was big news in the space aliens community so one UFO blogger praised it as possibly the clearest UFO footage ever it was lucky that she was filming at that moment wasn't it what was she filming so there wasn't it's not like those influencers are always like filming the fucking skies and shit aren't they are they there's no like view it's just clouds there's just clouds there's nothing particularly to look at at that point I was thinking so a lot of people are saying drone obviously drones don't get that high though do they or that fast or like American kind of like aircraft pilot the angle that it's flying at looks like apparently it could just be like space nothing that could be made of human hands are you trying to say that we're not alone I'm just hang on we'll come on to that because I've got some theories could it be like a pool like an inflatable toy from like a swimming pool or something not that fast come on yeah but once you're at 20 ,000 feet with the wind it could also you're flying past it so it probably looks faster yeah but you're not going to get a fucking Lilo going past your plane that sort of that's not a balloon how do you explain all the crazy things that happen in this world so apparently this model Valentina is now actually in some circles more famous than João Felix my surprise crop circles my surprise yeah she She's got 170 ,000 followers and I assume that's why.

41:56Yeah, most of them believers. Yeah, I mean, that is the only UFO content she has posted. So what else do you need after that? Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, I've got to say, of all the UFO footage I've seen, that is the most convincing. The thing is, what's a real shame these days is that AI can make stuff very easily. Well, this was a couple of years ago. Two years ago, I don't think that was possible. I don't think the technology was there two years ago. um i've got some good footage to show you if you think that's the best ufo footage that you've ever seen so uh i can't talk about ufos without mentioning danny dyer and his docuseries danny dyer i believe in ufos so just after danny filmed the football factory his career was on a bit of a a plateau and apparently he was just going around the uk uh doing like nightclub pas sniffing loads of coke and he was on a bit of a downer anyway somehow the bbc commissioned him to do a docu-series called evidence of aliens i believe in ufos and the premise was for him to go over and interview the top alien enthusiasts in america and it is fucking gold that sounds it's it's incredible if you go to 111 here so this is just to give you some context danny's gone to this enthusiast's house and uh the enthusiast is showing danny the alien sighting and the alien that comes to his house on a nightly basis called peekaboo

43:28we call him boo because he's playing peekaboo we name all these guys my wife thinks this is flipping hilarious watch What is that? Wait. You're very camped here, Stan. Yeah, but I can't get me head around that. At first, it doesn't. It's flat. Oh. And then it starts moving. And then you do see that I don't know what to. I can't deal with that. It's even more bizarre. All right. Can I get any more bizarre? Trust me. You ready? Give it to me. Suddenly it felt like I had a little sliver in my hip. I tried to pick it out and I couldn't get to it, so I decided to go to the doctor. The doctor took an extra of it and he said, oh, we see something, but we're not sure what it is.

44:18And I'm yelling at this guy, he said, look, it's coming out, you can touch it and feel it. When it comes out, I feel this static shock that literally makes my whole leg jump. And this object is fuzzy, white fuzz. Soon as it hits the oxygen, the fuzz starts to melt. we look at it he says i've never seen anything like that i mean it had some kind of structure inside you can see but i didn't know what danny's face is insane i put it under black light it turned orange i shut off the black light it stayed orange

44:53i think he's on a massive coat come down yeah not what you need with a bit of paranoia absolutely insane but famously he sort of believes in them now so the six week trip that he did in America there's some really good interviews out on 8 out of 10 cats on it as well but Danny Dyer is now a full believer I think they should bring that series back oh it was insane I mean if you're that guy and there was an alien doing that at your house every day wouldn't you move house also I like that he's got like alien blinds as well yeah yeah yeah his t-shirt's got an alien on it there's like an alien on the wall also he's really gone for the little green man vibe of alien that's like kind of gone out of fashion now.

45:36Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just his message like pulling up a little inflatable alien behind the fucking thing. What's the thing he found in his hip? Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that is. But I was like looking into UFO sightings and stuff and like what people because like basically until recently it was all about like little green men who come and take you away and now it's a bit more like sort of vague and abstract and stuff but I was reading up on the golden age of the like flying saucers taking me away things and like what people said. And apparently in the 60s to 80s, that was the golden era of anal probing.

46:08So loads of people would claim that they'd be like abducted by aliens and taken onto a ship and then they'd be like probed and have like stuff put up their bum and stuff. No one really knows why. Is that because they always say that these like sci-fi alien sci things, it's sort of the, it captures like the zeitgeist, the fear of the generation. Like nowadays it's all about AI and stuff. like what AI will take over the world. And before you were worried about getting bummed. Yeah. That was the great fear of the 60s. Some sort of like Cold War paranoia. So here's an extract I read. In 1957, two men claimed to be abducted by aliens while fishing.

46:45They said they were taken on board a ship, conscious but paralysed, and examined by three creatures with robotic slit mouths and crab-like pincers. While they didn't specify a rectal exam, the guy told journalists later, they gave a thorough and I mean thorough examination to me just like any doctor would and then he described a football shaped probe they were so shaken by the experience they had to have several shots of whiskey afterwards it's not going to happen to us next week is it? something tells me they had several shots of whiskey before this experience as well it's like a lot of these UFO stories that you find they're always like on camping trips where they have been yeah I mean that is when you see them but there's also it's just like I mean yeah we did take like two bags of mushrooms to LSD Chris Smalling was on holiday in Jamaica a couple of years ago with his wife and they said they saw a UFO and she literally said we weren't on mushrooms she said Chris and I saw an amazing UFO last night it flew down in front of us and then turned back and went back up into the sky where it stayed for an hour we hadn't taken any magic mushrooms like it's some sort of fucking bird yeah we saw an amazing UFO last night like a shooting star amazing sunset She said it was silent and too big to be a drone.

47:58Do you guys believe that there's life? I believe there's life in outer space. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's an infinite universe, isn't it? There's got to be like another galaxy with another planet that's like us. What's more scary is the idea that we're alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The concept of an infinite emptiness, really. The Fermi paradox is the... If you're interested, Google it. it's like the idea of like why have we not met other other life yeah my favorite theory is the national park theory which is we are like rare species that they're they don't want it we're like an uncontacted tribe or something they don't want to disrupt they're like looking at us from the outside but they don't want to disrupt us that's a good one yeah wow my theory before we talk about sport again is that like we're basically like ants so you know an ant i don't know how we know this but apparently if you put an ant on an a4 piece of paper and it crawls over to the other side it doesn't know that it's gone around the other side it thinks it's just gone a straight line because it doesn't have it can't perceive the third dimension so everything's just flat to it so like if you flick an ant an ant doesn't know it's been flicked by a human it just i don't know what the fuck it thinks has happened i think we're like that to life other life forms it's like they're so big and complex that our brains can't even really perceive them haven't you just described the end of men in black no he just end of men in black he gets his memory wipes no they have little fucking things that are on marbles and they're just flicking them around yeah yeah yeah I'm basically describing that do you get what I mean it's like we're too simple a creature to understand them and maybe and this is where I always really lose people maybe stuff like natural disasters even though we think we understand why they happen maybe actually that is us being flicked like an ant you know what I mean it's these much bigger life forms like disrupting us what have you been fucking smoking what's so unreasonable about that you think that's like what like earthquakes and stuff we've established the tectoic plates yeah we understand we understand the internal logic of all of it it's the movement of yeah we understand all the internal logic of all of that stuff but it's possible that they are triggered by something external like are they doing it sort of sadistically no it's like you step on an ant sometimes don't you I feel like Carl Pilkington I feel like we're both about to get gifted a tinfoil hat I don't think that's that mental to say do you buy the idea that the life forms might be so complex that we can't meet them I think we're not alone I don't know whether they're controlling us there's not going to be little green men whose language we can speak you've just seen one yeah well maybe it was somebody yeah I do I like your national park theory actually that's not my theory mine's the answer mine's the earthquakes of someone flicking you I don't think that I think I believe that the earth is um a sort of creation of just like natural gases like a combination there's it's a it's a freak creation i agree with that that maybe it is there's another one out there there's there are other ones out there but also maybe there is a greater intelligent life yeah that's a nice halfway i don't think i don't think i might i have faith that outer space stuff doesn't want to hurt us okay yeah i'm like kian harrow he's after us he's gonna be coming we're going to him can we get can we get the aliens to just go for kian harrow first go and probe his ass at least do a lot of dogs as well please so zach can sleep at night

51:38in a way Kian Harrop throwing that chair at the women in Ibiza was like your ad theory of them kicking the kicking the nest it was too complex a life form for me to really do you know what I mean you might be able to perceive parts of it yeah I could go on all night no human form could score that late winner at Wembley against Peterborough the League 2 playoffs

52:05I've got a Patreon coming on It's the nature of existence We should probably leave this conversation here

52:15We'll pick this back up at some point Speaking of unexpected sights

52:24Marcus Rashford is off to Barcelona How do you explain that? What intelligent life form would sanction that deal?

52:38Okay. Oh, God. I mean, I'm surprised by that. I am surprised, yeah. He's won the fucking lottery, hasn't he? I mean, they've gone after every other left midfielder ever, haven't they? They've done Nico Williams couldn't do it. There was a couple of others and now they're like, right. And maybe it's not quite the prestige move that it was, but it's pretty amazing. I mean, they've got Libin Yamal now. They've got Gavi. They've got a very good team. It's better than going, I thought he was going to Fenner Batchett. Yeah. It's great. Great move for him. It is. Apparently he had a bit of a nightmare journey to get there on Sunday night because Oasis had booked out all the private jet slots at Manchester Airport.

53:13So yeah, Liam Gallagher booked one to get back to his house in the south of France straight after the gig, which is not so rock and roll. Is that actually what? Yeah, it's true. Yeah, apparently according to the papers. And Rashford got delayed. Nightmare journey. he had to go to East Midlands Airport and said oh I'm a fly commercial no no fly fly his private jet I say I say nightmare fly it's all it's all relative really isn't it no one got anally probed on Rashford's private jet you never know I think on Rashford's private jet you never know that's the medical yeah

53:51good move for him yeah United are still trying to shift all those other stars that clearly don't want to be there and his careers have been ruined by their stint at Old Trafford. So there's like Jadon Sancho, Garnacho, Anthony, Tyrell, Malassia. They all want out. And they're training away from the rest of the squad. I read somewhere that they're apparently not allowed to use the rest of the facilities until the rest of the squad has gone home. I mean, they can't see them. I mean, knowing Jim Ratcliffe, he's probably cutting costs where he can and not letting him use the taps. It means we can make the dressing room that bit smaller.

54:28you're not washing their kit yeah the United have done that for a while would they with the naughty boys yeah because Jaden Sancho was training on his own for a while last season make some paper parking have they got a collective name the naughty I saw them being dubbed the United Five which makes them sound like some like wrongfully imprisoned freedom fighters or like Extinction Rebellion protesters have glued themselves to Topshop on Oxford Street it's IKEA now oh true Topshop's gone yeah it's a shame Anthony though he's still looking for his next moves he was at Bettis last season was that alone that was alone didn't he talk about well he did really well I think he wanted to go back there and they loved him he was basically one of the best players in the league yeah so I think he's maybe angling to go back there do you think that would be a bit like do you remember when Jesse Lingard went to West Ham and was just fucking amazing for half a season and then didn't do it again yeah where is he now Korea still he's doing quite well I think I mean yeah it's not exactly the highest quality I think he's Jesse Lingard's made for career he's only good like his TikTok dances Eric Ten Hag has popped up again though he's manager of Bayer Leverkusen now I didn't realise and he's refused to rule out signing Anthony for a third time so he's had an interview that Anthony's like a son to him which you know his goal return at Man United is the kind of thing only a mother could laugh so yeah maybe explains why he's up for signing him again and to be honest it looks like he could do with some help at Leverkusen so they had a pre-season friendly last week against Flamengo's under 20s and they got smashed 5-1 no way which I guess the under 20s is pretty freaking and Ted Haag did an interview afterwards and he said the result looks bad but I don't really give a shit about results in preseason.

56:26I mean, I don't care what world you're in. That is terrible. Yeah, I can't. His friendlies are bollocks. No, but under 20s. Yeah, it's weird. You're a senior Bundesliga side. Quite rightly, he's just said, I don't give a shit. Yeah. It's his answer to everything when he gets smashed. Yeah, true. It's better than the Amarim vibe of just like, yeah. We are the worst team. Yeah, yeah. Is he still doing that? I haven't really checked in on Amarim. Yeah, I don't know. He can't do it this season. he had his season of being like yeah this is the worst man United side ever but like it's his team now yeah well he's trying to get rid of all the egos isn't he so yeah some of whom are their best players I would argue I would not get rid of Garnaccio I mean he's unbearable but he's probably their best player yeah now Rashford's gone yeah until I look forward to it yeah right I think that's all we got isn't it I think that's it yeah I'm off to Roswell to read some declassified files

57:24we're off to Patreon aren't we we're off to Patreon where we are cricket special cricket because we did Kevin Peterson this week which has been a breakout hit we wouldn't have predicted that but KP the arsehole genius Oasis what were you just going to say Oasis just watch Oasis yeah well I know a lot of people have and thank you to everyone who listened to the Oasis we've had a lot of good reports back so I appreciate it but yeah we're on Patreon we're going to be discussing cricket's dirtiest dogs basically so sex scandals wall to wall so if you like the KP and Shane Warne shagging one then you're going to love this some big names including one England great I would argue bit of a contemporary of KP you'll have to listen to the Patreon episode to hear all about that so if you're not already a member patreon.com forward slash upshot towers we'll see you over there otherwise we'll see you next time thanks very much thanks JP thanks boys pleasure as always thanks a lot thanks for listening

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From the publisher

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot
Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod about the funniest stories in sport THIS WEEK.
On the show today: The house party that destroyed a heavyweight champ, Crystal Palace’s £25m office cock-up and kian harratt if you’re reading this please don’t kill us
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:
www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes 
(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).
Links from the pod:
Chloe Kelly and Richard Madeley: https://x.com/FionaSmall/status/1554500895408328709 
Oldham fans chant for Kian Harratt: https://twitter.com/FBAwayDays/status/1946584576815460615 
Behind the scenes at Daniel Dubois’ pre-fight house party: https://www.tiktok.com/@fightermagazine/video/7529640849899113750 
American pundits comparing Pulisic to Messi and Maradona: https://x.com/a1exii_/status/1803849850426978528 
Pawn stars selling Pulisic shirt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz2POjWqUMc  
Joao Felix’s girlfriend’s UFO sighting video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T2obQ9GpSSM 
Danny Dyer with the alien enthusiasts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaZvsQIp8dk
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