Is this the end for Gianni Infantino?

0:00This podcast is part of the Sports Social Podcast Network. Welcome back to The Upshot, the podcast about the funniest stories in sport this week. On the pod today, Gianni Infantino clings on for dear life. Danny Cipriani's tacky and distasteful wedding. And which France international pooed in someone's mouth at a party? And we are, of course, sponsored by Injury Lawyers for You. I'm Zach. And George is with me. Hiya. How you doing? We're without Jack. Flying solo. Flying solo. So, yeah, Jack was at a festival, which he doesn't want to be named at the weekend. That's the sort of sway he thinks he has, which is interesting.

0:37He thinks he's an influencer now, but he doesn't want to influence on that. So I think he's currently sat in a dark room recovering. Yeah, fair enough. So, yeah, the less said about that, the better. Yeah, there you go. It's been a big week. It all kicked off in football's corridors of power since our last episode. I know considering it's sort of the preseason, nothing's supposed to be happening. Yeah. I mean, is that the plan? Are they sort of trying to push through evil plans while people are off on holiday at their unnamed festivals? Yeah, clearly. But yeah, so pretty much just as last week's episode was released, Gianni Infantino unveiled his plans to sell off a stake of the World Cup's commercial rights to private investors.

1:25Real, real bastard move. I thought I was going to come back from my holiday last week to find that players were now obliged to wear JP Morgan neck chains or the penalty spots had been replaced by the McDonald's M. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was going that way. This feels like the culmination of a very long build from Gianni Impatino. This was always how it was going to end, right? Yeah, I mean, he's sort of like, you see how like the whole commercial arm of FIFA during this World Cup was just ramped up so much with ticket prices, with hydration slash advertising breaks. This seems like the ultimate, the end goal of it, really.

2:06So brief rundown of what happened in case anyone somehow managed to miss it. So last Tuesday, Jenny and Fantino put forward this proposal to create a new commercial arm of FIFA called FIFA Forward Enterprise. And this new arm would basically be responsible for managing FIFA's commercial operations. So that would be selling the World Cup, broadcasting rights, selling advertising, sponsorships. They'd also be responsible for managing ticketing and hospitality at World Cup events. a stake of this was then going to be sold to an American venture capital fund headed up by a guy called Joshua Kushner who is the younger brother of Jared Kushner who is Infantino's best mate Donald Trump's son-in-law yeah because why not yeah it absolutely stinks all of it doesn't it and it does sort of explain Infantino and Trump's close relationship in the build-up to the World Cup, closer than you might have expected.

3:10But yeah, it's all very dodgy. And basically it would mean that the World Cup would be part-owned by private companies whose primary goal is just maximising profit as much as they possibly can. So it's going to be, yeah, like the extortionate ticket prices, the hydration advertising breaks that we saw at this World Cup. It'll be that on steroids. um jp morgan you'll be surprised to hear were also quite heavily involved yeah so that weren't they also involved in the european super league yeah so they were they were big funders in that because this is the closest thing where someone's suggested something outrageous and everyone unanimously has just been like absolutely not yeah yeah yeah it's it's it's basically american financial bros trying to like get their claws into football and turn it into basically an enormous business really.

4:07And fortunately it doesn't look like it's going ahead. The whole world of football pretty much reacted in uproar to it. So UEFA came out and said that they'd boycott the World Cup if the plans went through. CONCACAF and the Asian Football Federation also publicly rejected the plans. And very quickly it became clear that the whole thing was pretty untenable. and also it became pretty clear that it was just Gianni Infantino and he hadn't spoken to anyone exactly yeah like this this is the thing like all of the other national federations were completely blindsided by this it's like but not even though it's just all of the people working at FIFA like yeah yeah yeah I mean probably because they knew that it was yeah how they knew how it would go down one person who was surprised by the reaction though was Joshua Kushner who apparently was just flabbergasted that people would be offended by this uh which yeah i don't know again i think it just shows how out of touch with football fans they are or just how long he's been hanging out with donald trump i think completely normalized this sort of thing not really used to push back exactly yeah um so yeah there was a lot of negative reaction from the thought from the whole football world and infantino then on friday announced that these plans would not be going ahead uh did this whole statement where he said look guys chill out guys chill out chill out that was just a proposal um it was just a proposal we just wanted to run it past you and you would have been able to decide anyway we were planning to have a vote all of the fifa member associations they'd get their vote on whether or not we go through through with these plans sure i would say that infantino had his ways of trying to ensure that his uh progression of events uh went ahead right because national federations who backed infantino's proposal in the vote were promised 40 million dollars over the next four years including an immediate cash payment of$20 million if they agreed by the 19th of September.

6:17Sure. So yeah, that's all above board. Yeah. And then any, any federation that voted against his plans would only receive 10 million over four years. 25 % of the money. Yeah. Fine. Fair enough. It's bare faced. It's literally a. I think it sounds legit. All above board. And now we'll never know because UEFA stole the vote. They did. They stole the vote. Yeah. Yeah. Storm the, storm, the, storm Geneva, wherever, wherever FIFA headquarters are. Um, yeah. So thankfully. That won't be happening. It has, it has all collapsed. Yeah. And now Infantino, he's, I mean, he's not going to resign, is he? I, I don't, I think he's too much of a proud man to resign.

7:01Proud's one word. Yeah. I think he's, yeah, he'll hang on for a year, I reckon, until the election. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or six months or whatever it is. I do wonder though that if more, you know, more comes out about these plans as it had done with the European Super League that, you know, these conversations that were taking place in the back corridors of power at FIFA. Because ever since the plan collapsed, more grisly details about his master plan have started to seep out. So according to the Times, part of the agreement was that when Infantino's reign as FIFA president ended, most likely 2031, if he wins the next election, he would then be appointed the chief executive of FIFA Forward Enterprise, this new commercial arm that he just created.

7:54and as chief executive of that organisation, Infantino would pocket himself a delicious basic salary of$30 million a year. As much as that. That's before bonuses. Good. Which I... You could bet. I reckon there'd be some healthy bonuses for Infantino there. Wow. So you put... Because like, what's he on now? Like$5 million a year? Six, I think, at FIFA a year. Which sounds like a lot. A paltry$6 million. Exactly, but he, you know, it sounds like a lot to us, but he only hangs out with billionaires. True, true. I reckon what's happened is he's been going out for fancy dinners with like Donald Trump and Mohammed bin Salman.

8:32Yeah. And they've been ordering like the starters and they've been getting like cocktails. Yeah. And then at the end, they've just been like, we'll just split the bill. Infantino's like, well, hang on. I only had tap water. Yeah, I only had the salad. And a glass of house white. So that's why he's doing this, I reckon. True, so he's hanging out with the big boys. Yeah. Yeah. so it's fair enough I think we've mentioned this before but he does he's got that Peter Mandelson thing yeah of he likes being around rich powerful men yeah and sort of pampering to their to their egos yeah and that was gonna be him he was gonna be one of them it could have been him he was he was picturing himself with his his private island in the Caribbean his like super yacht yeah he'd look good with an evil there I think like you say yeah like you say he looks like the hood from Thunderbirds he needs some sort of island and now he won't have the funds to do it he needs a cave that opens up to keep his ships in yeah but sadly it's not to be for our anti-hero and it does seem like now there's a real movement to oust him properly so up to this point the English, Welsh, Serbian, Finnish and Swedish FAs have publicly said that they no longer support him as president right and the feeling is that UEFA countries will vote against him in the FIFA election FIFA presidential elections that are taking place next year like before he was most likely going to run unopposed and now they'll find someone to get behind there'll be some opposition yeah I think they're they're readying their alternative candidates at the moment Blatter get him back I mean we've said before he has served his ban yeah yeah just a nice nice a humble Rolex watch for rigging the next World Cup draw.

10:22Weirdly, Infantino does still have some national federations in his pocket. Guess that 20 million dollars does talk. Surely they're not going to get that now. No, I mean, those plans are sadly not going ahead. Right. Sadly for them. But some people are still snivelling up to them. They certainly are, including Sri Lanka's FA who released what I think might be one of the most arse leaky statements I've ever read. So this was released just after Infantino cancelled the plans to move forward with this FIFA Forward Enterprise thing. I'll read it out. We extend our sincere appreciation to FIFA President Gianni Infantino for his decision to withdraw the proposed FIFA Forward Enterprise initiative, demonstrating his commitment to fostering unity, harmony, and constructive engagement among FIFA member associations.

11:14what a president of fantino's defining leadership qualities has always been his willingness to listen to the views and concerns of member associations this decision is a clear reflection of his inclusive leadership style built on dialogue mutual respect and a genuine commitment to serving the global football community oh please oh yeah that's that's a shame in it that is yeah i think infantino might have written that himself yeah you've let yourself down there sri lanka poor old yeah come on Sri Lanka but yeah so does look like there's a serious campaign to topple him as leader one of the names being put forward interestingly is PSG Supremo Nasser Al-Khalafi yeah so he's come out and said he just doesn't want the job right has he?

12:01yeah oh okay but I mean everyone's sipping him for it he's like I don't want to do it right yeah so there was the other guy who is being put forward Montigliano I think he's the head of the CONCACAF region I was quite fancying Nasser or Calafi as a student not necessarily for any sort of his leadership skills but just more for his sort of hot-headed nature my favourite story was a few years back PSG got knocked out of the Champions League by Real Madrid and Calafi absolutely lost it at full time stormed out of his seat in the executive box to go and confront the referee was down in the sort of underbelly of the Parc des Princes got a bit lost and accidentally burst into the Real Madrid dressing room screaming abuse and apparently a member of the Real Madrid staff got his phone out to start filming him.

12:56Calafi slapped the phone out of his hand and screamed I'm gonna kill you. His own bodyguards then had to restrain him. eventually he did find the referee's room stormed in there ripped a linesman's flag and apparently blocked the door so that the referees couldn't leave the room eventually security had to step in again a couple of things I think it's really impressive that he was because if that was me and I burst into the Real Madrid room and accidentally started shouting at them I would then immediately like straight away be so embarrassed that any rage I had for the referees would have disappeared I would just be trying to get back to my office as soon as possible.

13:37Get your dressing gown back on. Exactly. The fact that he still was that angry that he still went and found the referees. It's impressive. That's the kind of passion we need in FIFA corridors of power. Also, presumably he's that rich already that he doesn't need to sell off states in the World Cup. I think so. Yeah. Because he's a sort of Qatar. Well, he's actually interesting. He was not particularly for money, I think. Really? His dad was a fisherman in pole, pole fisherman, but still, uh, and then he was like, he was a tennis player for a bit and then sort of rose up through the sport administration ranks in Qatar.

14:21No, he's not. I don't think he's, I'm sure he's well reimbursed now, but, uh, I don't think he's, uh, like aristocratic or anything. Oh, well. Um, yeah. Man of the people. a man of the people yeah psg psg president that's your uncle lathie uh actually before we move on uh thank you to live who sent in a clip it's a dj set at a gay pride event where they mixed in jenny infantino's today i feel gay and that's the beach which jack had that idea on the infantino episode we recorded he did yeah yeah i think i think the dj must have been listening must have to be listening because they've done it and it absolutely brings the house down oh yeah discrimination

15:09I'm not gay but if I was I would want equal rights I'm not gay if I were I would marry who I like it's not fair I'm not gay to the government the SSA those who can love who's not gay or who's not can bring me I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay

15:34Today I feel gay.

15:41That looks fucking brilliant. Johnny Infantino gay icon. Yeah, there you go. I would love that this becomes his legacy. Well, if he does have to step down, then, you know, we know what he could do next. I would like it for, I think it would also be exactly what Infantino's ego needs is that in like, 30 years time when everyone's forgotten who infantino is everyone the kids of that generation just know him as like the guy from the today i feel gay song yeah well i'm thinking if like you know how when you're at uni and you'll go to like oceana and sort of s club three members of s club will be there he could just do that but for you know each regional gay club that'd be brilliant he's just going he's on the floats at the the gay pride events just today i feel gay yeah yeah it's slightly one track it might it might get old but yeah that's brilliant his head does work quite well as like a float you can see it on the on the front of a float yeah that's true that's good yeah brilliant yeah um wow well speaking of distasteful ways of raising a few quid have you seen danny cipriani is currently doing a crowdfunder for his wedding i did see this yeah yeah so he is getting married to the american actress anna lynn mccord who i'm sure you'll know for her starring role in the 2009 reboot of 90210 how could i forget yeah it's one of my favorite one of my favorite reboots yeah so i mean yeah if listeners if you liked anna lynn in that or if you maybe you're a fan of one of her other roles um carjacking girl in transporter 2 or um Gwyneth in the 2009 cheerleader comedy um fired up who could forget it yeah then you can help pay for her and Danny Cipriani special day there's nothing I would like to do more than that yeah so they've set up a page on a site called honey fund which is like the wedding equivalent of crowdfunder um where fans can donate money for very very specific parts of their wedding so if you want to contribute towards the rehearsal dinner for example you can send them $600.

17:43Okay. If you want to pay for their marriage license, you can send them a hundred dollars. Um, you can send them$600 for wedding venue construction. This is so cheeky. Wedding venue construction,$600. Yeah. And$200 for beverages. And it goes on that. If you want to pay for their wedding cake, you are shit out of luck because someone's already sent them$600 for that. Someone's covered it. Yeah. I don't care how much you want to, you cannot bet, you cannot pay for their wedding cake this is i've never said i don't think i've ever seen this before so this is this is basically like uh the website is set up you know how some people sometimes for their for wedding gifts it's like a registry it's like that registry venture of like i want a new set of saucepans or whatever yeah or like you know yeah nice cushion which even that i think is a bit i don't know i'm not married so maybe i'll change my tune if i if i do get engaged yeah what do you see the what do you see the cost of wedding you hire i have them pizza ovens and i'll maybe but i even think the the wedding gift thing is a bit i mean people like i this is no different i guess to people asking like for donations to like a honeymoon yeah fund yeah it's in the presentation but there's there's just something about just just seeing like a hundred dollars for my marriage license i'm already coming to your wedding i'm not paying for the fucking yeah it is catering yeah i suppose it is a bit mad people online are very fired up about it i kind of saw it and i was like i mean it's i wouldn't do it but whatever um but yeah some people are very annoyed basically saying it's a bit mad because they have a net worth of 10 million between them the couple um one one of the tabloids had a quote from a hollywood insider who said it's extremely tacky and distasteful to ask guests to pay for your wedding especially in this town uh these are two celebrities who boast a lavish lifestyle they're constantly on vacation it's a prime example of entitled celebs not reading the room yeah you sort of agree do you yeah i i mean i think i think it's a bit cheeky especially i mean it is is when you're when you're doing you're pretty loaded it's also when you have a star to be fired up exactly she was in the reboot of 90210 like if that doesn't set you up for life then i don't know to be fair didn't daddy also get married about five years ago yeah he's yeah so you know they stack up yeah you can't you know he's already forked out for that one yeah when you've bought a couple of marriage licenses already you're less inclined to buy a firm it's not like um uh a marriage license isn't like i don't think you can use it on anyone it lasts once you once you've got your ester it lasts for two years so yeah if you've got your license you can come in as many times get married as many times as you want in that two-year period no i think you need to do it every time so that'll be why so that's yeah yeah yeah so people are fired up i think people are missing the real story here because i i mean i don't really give a shit about whether they want to crowdfund their wedding what i do think is an absolute disgrace is that uh as well as being an actress danny's fiance is also an amateur performance poet okay is this like sort of spoken word night yeah things so in february 22 on the same day that russia invaded ukraine uh anna lynn recorded this poem for vladimir putin and released it on twitter oh my god dear president vladimir putin i'm so sorry that i was not your mother if i was your mother you would have been so loved held in the arms of joyous light Never would this story's plight the world unfurled before our eyes, a pure demise of nations sitting peaceful under a night sky.

21:27If I was your mother, the world would have been warm. So much laughter and joy and nothing would harm. I can't imagine the stain, the soul-stealing pain that the little boy you must have seen and believed and the formulation of thought quickly taught that you lived in a cruel, unjust world. yeah I mean it goes on like that okay it's quite um fuck you Bush it's very fuck you Bush yeah I like how you started the poem and ended the poem with dear Vladimir Putin um yeah I it feels like she's sort of uh absolving Vladimir Putin of a lot of the blame yeah so is there is there like a um um what's it called what's that site that oh like lyrics genius lyrics genius yeah i don't think anyone's like analyzed it quite that much i mean you'll be surprised to know she was roundly mocked online when that was when that was released yeah i think people sort of thought it was a poor taste so did she knock this up quickly after the invasion it was on the day so i think she saw that it invaded and she thought this is all vladimir putin's mom's fault wrote that quick poem and but i mean she was speedy if nothing else Yeah, a lot of people were mocking her.

22:48Probably my favorite response was this one from the writer, Kate Mannion. Dear President Vladimir Putin, I'm so sorry that I was not your mother. You would get so many raspberries after your bath, real funny ones on your little Putin belly. You'd laugh so much you'd shake like a bowl of Putin jelly. If I had been your mother, I'd let you stay up late to watch 90 Day Fiance. You wouldn't understand it, but we'd have fun anyway. If I were your mother, I would rely upon you heavily for likes on Instagram before you were evil, which would build your self-esteem and you'd say, I like myself the way I am.

23:32That's very good. Yeah. So, yes. Now, I don't think Anna Lynn realized why people found it as funny as they did. because after that went viral, Buzzfeed approached her and asked her, her reasons for writing the poem. And she said, I know how I could easily have moved in the direction of becoming a dictator myself. If circumstances of my life were different, were I a little less bent toward healing and more towards vindication, I could have been a darkly powerful person. So yeah, that's who, so she is, she's fully absolving Putin for any blame. yeah it does seem like it he's been through a lot he's been through a lot has he been through a lot do we know much about his childhood I don't know much about his mum he's a KGB agent that's all I know that's all I know he would not have been if Anna Lynn McCord star of 90210 was his mum yeah so that's who Danny's shacking up with so but she so she says that she could have been a darkly powerful person which suggests that within her she feels there is a dark a dark power yeah that sort of wants to invade an EU nation.

24:38I don't know. Or get her guests to pay for a wedding cake. Yeah. Yeah. If you are going to the wedding, keep Anna Lynn away from the Novichok. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe Anna Lynn and Danny will have a few little dictators of their own one day. Anyway, while we're on the subject of rugby, have you seen that the rugby league team Salford have just revealed that they have a nice guys only policy? Tell me, tell me. Yeah. So CEO Ryan Brearley just gave an interview this week where he said, we released a player because he didn't shake the bus driver's hand. Simple as that. Looking back now, could we have done with him?

25:18Probably. So, I mean, Ryan's got a point. Salford are currently 13th in the Betfred Championship. So sort of lower mid table. So do we know, so did he refuse to shake the bus driver's hand or did he forget? We don't know. I don't, I mean. Because it seems... Surely you don't refuse to... Surely, just have a word. It doesn't need to be a sackable offense. Yeah, instantly rip up the contract, I think. Was he a repeat offender, maybe? Maybe that. I don't think he... I think he just forgot, right? Yeah. I don't think it's like... I don't think it's like Jed Spence refusing to shake Thomas Barty's hand.

25:57I think he's just walked off the bus with a... Do you shake the bus driver's hand? I don't normally shake the bus driver's hand. You might say thanks, drive. Yeah. Yeah. they ripped up his contract because he forgot to say thanks drive no next time I'm on a National Express I'll make a point well on a stagecoach they've normally got this sort of plastic barrier so you can't share their own true yeah lord knows I've tried yeah I mean it's a good job Ryan's remaining players of a sort of happy go lucky sort because after that Ryan went one step further and said we've turned down way better players than what we've got now in favour of good people fact which is a fucking mad thing so this this lot might be shit yeah but they're lovely yeah they're always polite to the dinner ladies yeah yeah this one got to be a birthday present he always he never never forgets to send a card yeah can't score a try for shit but he's never left the janitor hanging yeah it's quite a nice antidote to like normal sport where it's just like you know ruthless ruthless winning mentality it's the complete opposite but it's almost like no winners just it's almost like it feels like yeah they've gone too far the other way because like a simple like you might have something on your mind you just walk off the bus without shaking the driver's hand it's a sack of an offence it's mad isn't it yeah there you go I'll be tracking them closely this season yeah I'm very intrigued yeah I don't know if we'll get too many wild stories out of them no No, it'll be just helping old ladies cross the road and rescuing lost cats.

27:39Yeah. Up a tree. Up a tree. Yeah. Yeah. We were not renewing your contract because you left Mr. Whiskers up that tree. Yeah. Yeah. They won't be much of a source of stories then for the French journalist, Romain Molina because Romain he's got a reputation for unearthing these revelations about the seedy underbelly of football so he was the one if you remember he was the one who exposed the former French Football Federation boss Noah Lagraie for ordering his assistants to wear short skirts and drunkenly hitting on them imagine that imagine making your employees wear clothing that sort of reveals their legs yeah it's well yeah that is scandalous it is scandalous it is scandalous I can see why they'd be annoyed in certain circumstances in certain circumstances I think there is a need for it yeah clearly it's part of the description I mean last week Jack made me dress up as Scotty 2 Hottie for a wrestling episode yeah now this and someone in the comments last week was like George has disproportionately long shins I saw that comment yeah which I didn't know was something I had to be insecure about can I just take a look they are actually now it's Now I see them.

28:53That is, I think it's the camera angles. I don't know. Cause I'm looking at it from normal angle and they are. Bizarre. I'm sick of having to live up to these impossible beauty standards. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. Could you mind putting them under the table? I can't. It's just distracting me. Sorry. Under the table. Freakish. Freakish shins. Yeah. I know you've had that comment about your shins, George. Can you wear an item of clothing where the shins is all we'll be able to see? yeah well you know it's a it's a hits we're trying to draw you know viewers yeah clearly if that's what entices them then yeah you'll absolutely your shins draw them in so we'll be raffling off this sweaty bathrobe yeah at the end of the episode yeah yeah sorry go on anyway so rohan melina he's he's known for for these exposés he gets leaks.

29:47He has sources with intimate knowledge of football. Yeah. The sort of seedy underbelly. Last month, he posted on his social media saying, I'm preparing a massive investigation for you on the mafia of Argentine football tomorrow morning. Probably one of the biggest scandals covered up by FIFA in recent years. Wow. By the way. He hasn't actually followed up on this. So perhaps the investigation is still ongoing. I don't know why he said tomorrow morning. He sort of, it feels like he does that sort of thing a lot, right? He just promises stuff and then just fires out a load of other tweets. Well, there could be another reason that it hasn't been released because digging up stories like that, George, it can make you a few enemies.

30:29Yeah, of course. And Roman did an interview recently where he explained that he has received several threats down the years. And he said in this interview, if anything happens to me, I have a protocol that is automatically released that I wouldn't wish on anyone. So essentially in this interview, he's explaining that he has a file of salacious stories about major sports figures that will be sent out far and wide if he suddenly dies in mysterious circumstances. So like a doomsday device? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Dead Man's Trigger, I think it's called. It has a thing. It has a name. It's basically, he explained it's like a, he has this sort of like dossier thing that he logs into.

31:14He's the only one who knows the code to it. But if he doesn't log in in a week or something, then it automatically gets sent out to presumably news organizations or trusted contacts that he has around the world. So with a paranoia like that, you're probably wondering what dangerous characters Roman has been upsetting with his muscular reporting. Yeah, clearly. So here is one of Roman Molina's tweets from a few years back, which might give you an idea of the sort of stuff he's dealing with. Breaking. A current French international had a party where he decided to poo in people's mouths while filming himself.

31:54Well, yeah, you can see why he's getting death threats after that. This is the kind of hard-hitting journalist that Roman Melina deals with. Obviously, that raises many, many questions. Are we surprised if Roman Melina has never followed up on that? He's never followed up on that one. He's never revealed exactly who it is. but this was a few years back and he said he describes them as a current French international so who do we yeah I mean it's probably it's probably quite libelous to speculate isn't it yeah but I think we should do it anyway what if I did it in the form of a poem yeah um dear Adrian Rabiot I am so sorry I was not your dad

32:36if i was your dad i'd have taught you at a young age that shitting on your friends is not right okay it's funny you said that rabio because he was that was where my mind went as well um but just yeah for for the lawyers listening but it's it probably wasn't it probably wasn't Adrio Rabio. Probably, I mean, we don't know. No. Was it anyone? Dear William Saliba. I think it could have been, it could have been, the filming part is weird as well. That's the weird, that's your takeaway, is it? So, yeah. We all do that in our spare time, we film it. Pervert. But like, going back to speculation on who it could be, I don't think N 'Golo Kante's got that in his locker.

33:16No. He's a nice guy. Too nice, too nice. Way too nice. Also, just logistically, he's quite, he's quite small. Hugo Lloris, possibly. Yeah, yeah sure Saliba judging by the old Saliba in the splash zone video yeah less said about that the better less said about that the better but he's got previous let's put it that way who else is in that squad Mbappe Mbappe's not muddying him do you reckon Griezmann I reckon Griezmann could do you think yeah I think this is yeah are we stretching are we straying into libel I think so yeah I think we crossed that line a fair few minutes ago. If anyone has any other ideas of who it might be, email them in, send them to JP's hotline.

34:01Yeah, JP's hotline. That's the place for it. I do like though, because it had to be a French player, right? Yeah, of course. It wouldn't be anyone else who would do that. I like the idea that, you know, Claire Fontaine, the French centre of excellence. It's like the training base that they've had for years. It's what... the fa modeled saint george's park england's new training base on this hot house for ho for honing talent and you know my picture of it is like a true center of excellence in football but turns out for everything i actually hear about it turns out it's an absolute sense bit of debauchery it's just the players are just wanking shitting at each other's mouths i don't think that happened that claire fonte to be fair that was you know that was a classy party where that happened.

34:53It could have been, yeah. Don't film it. Don't film it. Don't film it. Actually, if you perhaps have been kneecapped by a disgruntled Frenchman terrified that their horrible party antics are about to be exposed, you might be entitled to a bit of compensation. Yeah, injury lies for you. Injury lies for you. If you've got mighty sick after accidentally ingesting a French international's feces. Yeah, that's an accident and it probably wasn't your fault, I hope. yeah we've got the guys for you right yeah there are personal injury lawyers who fight for you I'm not sure whether they get involved in assassination attempts or yeah horrible things that people might put in your mouth but they definitely do help to fight your corner if you've had another kind of accident it's not your fault so workplace accidents workplace accidents or non workplace perhaps you know maybe you've yeah bike accident or you know anything and then no win no fee no win no fee so you may as well give it a go yeah absolutely yeah I really hope nobody is shouting your mouth but if they have let us know who it was if they have and you know it was a famous footballer they probably get a good payout from them oh god yeah yeah yeah let us know yeah so yeah injury lawyers for you the information about them is in the description box but check them out perfect um while we're on the subject of compromising leaks uh if you've ever seen the dick pic that ian bofum accidentally uploaded on twitter you will know he's no stranger to serving up unpalatable slabs of meat it is a a real specimen yeah um so it makes perfect sense that ian bofum has his own restaurant um it's called beefies by lord bofum of course it is and it is located within the Utilita Bowl, which is the cricket gown in Southampton.

36:49The restaurant describes itself as the perfect place to relax, refuel and enjoy the atmosphere. But unfortunately for both of them, the Times restaurant critic Giles Corrin disagrees. So he visited this week and he absolutely panned the place. He's a tough critic, isn't he? He is, yeah. I think people would sort of, I mean, he's a restaurant critic, but he does quite a bit on TV. He's the brother of Victoria Corrin Mitchell. Ah. the host of uh only connect so you know so you don't want to get on his wrong side um yeah so yeah he did not like both rooms restaurant he said uh first up he said utility bowls sounds like something in this invites you to be sick in or worse which he's got a point yeah i mean to be fair to to beefy that's not that's the name of the cricket ground that's not strictly on he's got i don't think he could be blamed no he maybe can be blamed so apparently giles was going into a test match and he booked this restaurant weeks in advance because he had tickets to the test match and then he turned up on the day and they told him that he wasn't able to sit in the restaurant because the test match was on and they had hospitality so they seated him at a hospital another sort of function room elsewhere in the cricket ground that's a bad start it is a bad like you don't want if you if you if you see a restaurant the times restaurant critic yeah give him a nice seat if jay rayner's there yeah yeah see don't make him eat in the corridor um yeah so he didn't like that and then he described the 95 pound ribeye steak he ordered as both chewy as hell and entirely flavorless like eating a sweaty thigh pad um yeah he also described his crab starter as chunks of tomato with free crinels of gritty fish paste that my cat would pass on um yeah not a good review to be fair to beefy giles did praise the service he said he said that was very good he praised the service he both had an affair with a waitress did you not well there you go he knows how to choose a waitress we talked about we talked about he does yeah we talked about on our both of episodes he had an affair with a waitress i think it was in australia and obviously his well it came out in the press and his wife was not very happy but peeved yeah uh but but eventually decided to to sort of forgive him and try to patch things up and apparently they went out for a meal once they'd you know things were still quite tense between them but you know they decided to work on things they went out for a meal to sort of clear the air and waitress came up took their order and as she walked away Ian was like she's attractive isn't she

39:32and he wrote about this Ian's autobiography he recounted this whole thing in his book and his book is called Don't Tell Calf or something which is the name of his wife brilliant yeah well there you go if you want an extramarital affair get yourself down to Beefies by Lord Botham yeah at the Utility Bowl for a chewy steak yeah ask for britney george or magda because giles corin said their service was impeccable better was i'm actually quite nervous about accidentally misquoting giles corin because uh did you did you see uh the letter he wrote to his sub editors a few years ago no this is really good so i think it was 2008 um basically he'd submitted the copy for one of his restaurant reviews to the sub-editors of the times so they obviously they just scan it over for grammatical errors spelling mistakes before it's then published on on the website or in the paper um one of those sub-editors made an extremely minor change to his copy and he went absolutely mental he wrote this really long uh really sweary email to the sub-editors of the times uh it then got leaked and published by the can we get it up i won't read the whole thing because it's it's very long but my favorite bit i think all the editor did literally was take out the word a from one of the lines this is an extract worst of all dumbest deafest shittest and all you've removed the unstressed a so the stress that should have fallen on nosh is lost and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable when you're winding up a piece of prose meter is crucial can you hear can't you hear that it is wrong it's not fucking rocket science it's fucking pre-gcsc it's fucking pre-gcsc scansion i've written 350 restaurant reviews for the times and i've never ever ended on an unstressed syllable fuck fuck fuck fuck i woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there furious for two hours weird maybe but that's how it is he also called them sort of cunts several times wow yeah for wow for one forgetting they ruined his blowjob joke at the end basically oh because it was nosh it was he said he said a nosh yeah and then they took out the a and said if you're thinking of going for nosh and it ruined his blowjob joke so yeah yeah I mean I see why they took it out yeah because like a restaurant review by suggesting you go for a nosh it's a clever wordplay christ you're as bad as them fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck um before we go off beefy um i checked his twitter this week you'd have you'd have be forgiven for thinking since he since someone leaked that picture of a penis yeah to his twitter he might have gone a bit quiet on twitter but um yeah i checked this week and he was just commenting under an ai picture of uh women in bikinis um so someone had put um hey grok among these seven girls from different countries who do you think most men would find most attractive beefy's just there saying uk slash africa public everyone can see that beefy yeah god dear beefy if i was your dad yeah that's that's real dad on twitter yeah bless him yeah actually speaking of elder statesman of sport the former racing driver paddy mcnally uh he was also sort of f1 and entrepreneur and sort of i mean hellraiser yeah he passed away this week died a couple of weeks ago right um so he was a he was a moderately successful racing driver never made it to f1 or anything uh it's like the first line in it's a bit true moderately success no he was he was he was you know did like a bit of rally driving and endurance races, stuff like that.

43:28Sure. But then set up a company that ran the hospitality and trackside advertising at F1 races. Right. Managed James Hunt as well, the notorious F1 playboy in the 70s. Upshot favourite. Yeah. And those things together, I mean, primarily his F1 advertising empire made him absolutely filthy rich. He spent a lot of his time partying in Verbier, the exclusive ski resort in the Swiss Alps is where all the celebs go skiing. James Blunt has a ski lift named after him there. Does he really? Yeah. Which I quite liked. He said that he's going to start playing his music on the chairlift so that he's the only one who uses it.

44:11He's good, James Blunt. He's good. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Paddy had a chalet in Verbier that was known as the Cocaine Castle. There's a story of a famous actress who was once asked to bring a turkey over to celebrate Christmas there. Right. And arrived to discover that this turkey that she'd brought over from the UK was stuffed full of gear for their Christmas party. Wow. So he was just throwing these lavish parties there all the time. Aristocrats, business tycoons, royalty were there, including Jamie Blandford, who was the future Earl of Marlborough. Right. who infamously, he admitted that he once spent, I think this was on a ski season, spent 20 grand on cocaine and heroin in four months.