John Terry fights to free Charles Bronson | The funniest stories in sport this week

30:15It looked like a legit link. Because Neymar, I remember, was watching one and then an ad popped up. He posted on a story and people were like, oh, he's watching like, whatever those websites are called, 101 Great Goals. But Vinicius was cleared of that and he actually had to give a public apology but Javier is at it again this week and this time he's going after actual fans rather than superstar players, maybe he thinks if he spreads the net a bit wider he'll get a few more fishes but just as a bit of background, dodgy streamers are obviously costing a lot of money to the leagues at the moment and Javier has come out to say that it's costing the Liga 700 million euros a year in lost income good and he stop charging so fucking much for the Sky subscriptions if it was like 15 quid I'd just pay it there's a lot of greed going around there and obviously he tried to flog La Liga to America earlier this year so he hasn't really got a leg to stand on but anyway he's been championing getting tougher laws and a new law has been passed in La Liga so they can actually track down individual users to their homes oh so they're going for it they're going for it big time is this like Like when you get a TV license letter through the door, it's just like, we have been watching your address ID.

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32:54And Messi only trusts Duracell. So good, so good, so good. New markdowns up to 70 % off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Stock up and stay big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories, and more must-haves for summer. Join the Nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. what you're watching the van knows you're like is there a van um so tebas is spending hours and hours and hours on this he's in front of his computer at home apparently he's watching ip addresses apparently he's been personally infiltrating telegram and whatsapp groups to try and find people's addresses well pretending to be like yo does anyone have a street he's just joined the lads whatsapp group yeah and he's like using loads of like text speak you know what I mean like a preview one you know when you're streaming stuff and there's like the chat that pops up at the side there's always just a horrible chat and it's like just Javier Tebow where's everyone watching from he's streamed down so he's got a team of 50 piracy police employed by La Liga at the minute and they are apparently using legal methods to track everyone down hopefully not Ryan Wedding's lawyer I'll just just kill them what are the legal methods to track them down I guess they can track IP addresses gonna have to nuke Fouquet

34:37and I don't know if I'm pleased to say this but they have started sending out fines to Spanish fans at about 450 euros a pop so it's actually working and he's actually doing it how's he proving it? I don't know, it's something to do with the IP addresses but he really feels like he's doing God's work and I'll come on to the god bit of this in a minute, but it feels like, you know, Javier was that kid at school who'd dob you in for having trainers on or like, you know, leaving an apple on Miss Honey's desk in maths class. You know, he seems like a bit of a goody two-shoes. Anyway, he's come out this week.

35:09I just think you shouldn't have had the trainers on. You are Javier. Anyway, he's come out this week saying, streaming games without playing is stealing. Even the Bible says so in the seventh commandment If people want everything to be free They should go and live in a place Like North Korea Oh if it's in the Bible Right It's in the fucking Old Testament Then yeah I won't do it anymore There's a lot to dissect there isn't there Yeah there is So he's saying basically if you want to watch 3pm kickoffs Then go and live in North Korea Go and live under a totalitarian dictatorship If you want to see your team play at 3 o 'clock so does he think North Korea is some sort of utopia I think he's basically saying free sport is a path to yeah totalitarian communism it's communism and look how that panned out for North Korea are those the only options I think so can I just pay a reasonable fee and not live in North Korea yeah and I mean there's a lot around sort of greed in the Ten Commandments yeah loving thy neighbour and I'm not sure whether he's yeah and he usually He coveted his neighbour's ox that time as well.

36:21Do you remember that? Yeah. I mean, it's like, yeah, I don't really know where he's getting out with that. And you're some kind of heathen if you use Ronaldo7.com. The Bible angle's interesting. Does that work better in Spain? Yeah. I feel like he's quite, yeah, he's quite, he feels like he's doing God's work with a lot of what he's doing at the moment. And it's like, mate, just give everyone a break. Yeah. It's hard to imagine like an English, who is the head of the Premier League? Some Richard Masters or something. Can't remember. Coming out and being like, well, in the Bible, it says you'd be laughed out of town, wouldn't you?

36:53Has Tebas been laughed out of town? I don't think people are taking him seriously, but he's certainly taking these fines seriously. They sound a bit to me like, you know, how like sometimes car parks or stuff will like make it look like a really official enforcement and you can just ignore it. Just ignore it. And that is legal advice. But if anyone does get a telegram or WhatsApp message from J Tebas, let us know. Have you the baddie? But that is, it's mental that he's doing that now when I saw, so Paramount have just been, this is in the UK, have been given some of the games for the Champions League next season.

37:26I saw that. Which means you need another subscription if you want to watch all English football. It sounds absolutely bollocks. So apparently it means that now, the article I read said that it is now costing more than a grand a year. If you want to have BT, Paramount, Sky, Sky, and Amazon to watch all games. Although when I actually looked in the article, that the grand is on the basis that they think the BBC license fee is going up a small amount next year, which will tip it over. And you need a license. You've got to watch the FA Cup sound. Yeah, exactly. Well, if you want to watch it. But still, that is a fucking joke.

37:58Yeah. To charge a grand a year. And Amazon have stopped. This is a bit of insider knowledge. All new fire sticks. You can't download the software. Really? I don't know how I know that. Really? I don't know. That's massive news. That's quite a good way of stopping it. Which means there's going to be a massive black market for the old fire stick. If you've got an OG fire stick. Surely like one of the Chinese brands will knock one up. Yeah, true. You will probably be performing surveillance for the Chinese Communist Party but I want to watch Burnley West Ham at three o 'clock. Don't worry about national security.

38:32It's all fine. The 3pm rule makes it even more mental because it's like you pay a grand year and you can't even watch every game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They need to. For me, I think if they just did like a 20 quid a month for all of my team's games, I'd pay it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what like the baseball does in America now. There's a major league baseball subscription. Direct. Cut out all the fucking wank broadcasters who are shit. Have you been watching The Ashes on TNT? It's a joke. Or just like clubs could do their own channel, no? I reckon they'll want to sell the rights altogether. But yeah, you could just subscribe to your club or you could just subscribe to everyone.

39:02One subscription. We're basically at the Napster stage now, aren't we? Do you remember Napster? There was a stage where... LimeWire. Yeah, and the authorities were deliberately putting out tracks. you'd be like listening to fucking Dr. Dre, Steele, DRE. Yeah, you'd be listening to that. You'd be listening to Mozart. You'd be listening to Tchaikovsky's Fifth. And then suddenly halfway through the song it would go like, that really horrible noise. Oh, right. It was happening so much on Napster and then, yeah, like LimeWire and Kazar and shit that after a while you were like, fuck this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:35And then iTunes came out and obviously now it's Spotify. But we're basically at that stage where you're not going to beat people's... You're not going to beat us. No, no, no. But I think, yeah, just something needs to change. Have they not already been doing that with like... Instead of the loud noise, it's just hardware that steals your... Yeah. That's what they always say, like, oh, you're funding criminal gangs. It's like... Yeah. Or everyone stops watching Premier League football and starts watching the Baller League a bit more seriously. I don't know. Where's that? YouTube? Probably not. I think it's YouTube.

40:05Surely it's DAZN or something. I've actually just had flashbacks to some LimeWire moments. I remember do you remember how long it took to download stuff yeah it was like two days shit internet also because you had the yeah you bought the phone line so your mum would try and be like ringing my auntie or something and I'd be downloading like two hours worth of porn or something yeah because what you do is you'd start downloading the porn and then you'd go out and come home like it was such a delayed wank a nice little present to come back to you yeah yeah like three hours later you'd come back and then you'd load it and you'd be like it's shit but it'll do did you leave it downloaded to go out yeah mate god you two Do you remember Even before JP do you remember Before that one Images And it would literally Load like It would take like 20 seconds And you'd be like Ah ah ah That's proper quaint Wanking Vintage wanks Sound like we're Wanking over cave paintings I also remember Getting bollocked For downloading Eminem and Elton John Did Stan Live at the Grammys And it took me like Four hours to download it And we got like An 80 quid phone bill And my parents Were fucking livid Good times Is it worth it?

41:08I mean, that cover of Stan is really good. The wanks were largely forgettable. Anyway, do we think that's coming here, the whole La Liga thing? Well, I mean, they must be trying to crack down because of the Amazon Fire Stick thing. Apparently, all the new ones have done. I think putting guilt on the consumer is bollocks. Yeah. I feel like these things, there's always... The criminals, if you would call them criminals, are always like one step ahead. Yeah. I just think regulate the prices or do your own thing. Yeah. Don't make it. Anyway. Yeah. Now moving on, staying on the continent. Ever since sacking Juan Bernabe back in January, Lazio had been on the hunt for a new eagle handler, someone to strut around the Stadio Olimpico with a bird before their matches.

41:53So in case you were living under a rock this year, Juan Bernabe, he's the one who had an operation to attach a bionic cock to himself and then posted pics of it on the Instagram account that he shared with Olympia, his eagle. So for the past 11 months, Lazio's HR department have been furiously scrolling through the avian section of LinkedIn, various other talent agencies, and dialing jilted employees of Baytree, Owl and Raptor Center. And this month, they finally found their man, Giacomo Garut. so Giacomo he passed the interviews with flying colours and his eagle passed them even better he was soaring high through the warm sky catching mice with aplomb gorgeous and best of all Giacomo definitely didn't have a prosthetic cock or a ponchon for showing it off do you think they asked?

42:49I imagine that they did I think that was quite key reference check yeah we are going to need to do a medical before you sign unfortunately though there was one thing they slightly overlooked which was Giacomo's fascist tendencies. So shortly after his announcement, supporters tracked down his Facebook page, scrolled back through his old posts and found one reading, Italy misses you Benito. In case you're wondering, he was referring to Mussolini and not former Sheffield Wednesday striker Benito Carboni. Great player. To be fair though, at Lazio... Yeah, I was going to say, I think that's sort of...

43:28Do they mind it? That's sort of taken as given, really, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, Juan Bernabe did actual fascist salutes, like marching up and down the touchline, chanting, Duce, Duce. And he wasn't sacked for that, was he? I think he got suspended for a bit and then got his jock back. Is there a thing with that to you where, because I remember we once did a thing about them being fascists and someone sent us a really passionate message being like, stop labelling my club like that. I think there's like the new fans who don't want... Right. They have actually done a lot of work, which is to try and root that out.

43:58but there's definitely I mean we saw a picture a few years ago where there was someone who had Mussolini's name on the back of their shirt actually they had they had a player called Mussolini yeah I remember it was for him yeah he's Mussolini's nephew great nephew yeah he plays on the right yeah that's great well not great but no no it's great yeah I think there's definitely still those kind of elements in their in their support this guy I actually found out he's not even a Lazio fan he's a Milan fan. So the other reason they were angry, they scrolled back through his post and among these ones praising Mussolini, there was ones saying, calling Lazio shit and stuff.

44:38Get rid of all that before you start, mate. They were more annoyed about the AC Milan thing, aren't they? Yeah. Isn't this like family business for this guy? His dad used to be the eagle handler at Lazio as well, I think. The new guy? Yeah. I really didn't realise that. It gets passed down for generations. It's in the blood. They didn't cast the net very wide. No. What about the son of the old guy? you know how to do it don't you you still got that why do they need an eagle hand sorry stepping back it's their mascot an eagle is their mascot oh okay do you need a real one there I guess I suppose we've got the standard line I just feel like too much energy is going into the eagle handler and not enough into winning scudettos do Crystal Palace have an eagle handler they have an eagle I know they've got an eagle but I don't know it's got to be handled maybe they should get Wambanabe in Yeah, well, Juan actually popped up again after Giacomo's appointment.

45:31And he wasn't just inviting him on a tour of Casa del Facio with a bloke dressed as Mussolini. Because Juan had actually spotted something suspicious about Giacomo's bird. So in Lazio's post announcing Giacomo as the new eagle handler, they stated that they'd also sourced a new eagle for him. They even had a competition to name it. but Juan Banabe is convinced that the eagle pictured is in fact Olympia his bird so we're looking at pictures now, we've got two pictures there so sorry, is he saying they cut Olympia out and put her in the AI no, no, no, he's saying that that's his bird, that is his bird he's saying that this is Olympia in the picture oh right, as in the guys take it they do look similar also, I mean, eagles do tend to look quite similar anyway what's wrong with him having Olympia?

46:23He's wound a bird mate. Lazio have said that it's a new eagle. I think Lazio want a clean break from the old regime. The old regime. Olympia's been tainted. But they've kept Olympia. Well, yes, I mean, it suggests that Olympia was requisition from Juan when he was sacked and evicted from his flat at the training ground. A bit like, imagining it like when you leave a job and you're leaving with your cardboard box and they're like, we are going to need to take the mouse pad and the eagle back the peregrine falcon I suppose those sort of eagles are quite hard to train it's not like the cheap are you saying in his severance pay they should have said you could keep the eagle I was really picturing Juan and Olympia living this sort of divorced dad life sleeping in a single bed in a bed set living off Russell's burgers doing uni club night appearances but apparently not him.

47:20That's sad. So is Juan really angry? Juan, yeah, I think he's angry, confused. Yeah, I think that was true. He lost his bird. Touch my bird. And actually, I mean, say what you want about Juan Manabe, but at least he knew how to handle his bird. Because it's come to my attention recently that West Brom also have their own bird of prey. It's a peregrine Falcon and apparently it nests in the West Stand at the Hawthorns and officially it's there to help with the stadium's pigeon problem but unofficially the bird has been causing more trouble than it's worth. So Westbrook were playing Derby earlier this season and halfway through the match this Falcon dropped a half-eaten pigeon onto the pitch.

48:11Look at a picture of it now the physio removing this mangled pigeon corpse from the field of play. Did they stop playing because of it? They did. They actually stopped it for a little while. What? Everyone was a bit shaken. Like a bird. Yeah, so they actually had to stop play for... I think everyone was quite confused. They stopped it for a fair few minutes. And after the game, the derby manager, John Eustace, gave an interview where he actually said that that delay in play gave him enough time to consult with his assistant manager and tweak the tactics. and they subbed on Andreas Weimann who scored the winner.

48:47Wow. Well done, the Falcon. This Falcon, well, actually badly. The Falcon's actually costing West Brom points. I also quite enjoyed Ryan Mason who's the West Brom boss. He did an interview after where he said, I've never been involved in anything like that before. I may have seen something similar on television. Are you talking about like David Attenborough's argument? Planet Earth. I mean, the modern day game modern day game is just a bit wimpy isn't it what would you see just kick the pigeon corpse off did they stop the game when I don't know they chucked a pig head at Luis Figo in Real Madrid Barcelona I'm pretty sure they got it off the pitch before they carried on I agree in this case just kick it off the pitch pick it up and then carry why is it several minutes hygiene reasons probably the players don't want to touch it come on oh so the bird fucked up the bird the bird is the bird has cost you points points but we actually had a letter from a loyal shot at andy's a west brum fan who said that uh the pigeon dropping of the pitch was just the half of it because his email said the clumsy bird dropped guts all over fans in the home end causing much screaming and a race to escape the seats that's really good on the home end as well on the home end yeah i'm starting to think this guy doesn't want to be at the club i think he's trying to force a move yeah to lazio probably that's great imagine being at a game and just covered with pigeon entrails stop the game for that right did you boys get up for 5am on Friday for the Ashes I forgot to ask you this, did you?

50:24I did 5am, it was only a two day game in the end so did two mornings in a row but it was all in all a great first day and then an absolutely dreadful second one where England just capitulated and yeah it was over in two days I feel sorry for those people who flew out to Perth. You know, I just don't know a lot about cricket. So is there more games to come? Keep your fucking mouth shut. Yeah, there are four more games to come, so don't worry. But it was a pretty humiliating end to what was a promising start for this England team. And you know, this England team have this rule. You have to be positive about everything.

50:57It's like good vibes only. You have to always be positive. So they're always finding silver linings. It was pretty hard to find them in this game. and I was wondering like you know how do you do it because apparently people have been forced out the England set up players because they weren't positive enough in the dressing room they basically said negative shit when they've lost or whatever sounds like a cult yeah it's exactly like a cult and I went to a live event in the summer that Stuart Broad was at the legendary England bowler who just retired he played in this team and they were asking him it was the grade cricketer live and they were asking him um so like what how does it work if you play really fucking badly and there are just no positives.

51:35And he said, you'd have to come into the dressing room having just been spanked and be like, this coffee is amazing. So good. Isn't the water pressure in the shower is great. That is ridiculous. He gave the coffee example as a real example. What the fuck? Yeah. Surely like, do you not have to just dissect where it went wrong? You can't like, I mean, I'm sure they have later some analysis, but like, I actually don't think they do have a tongue because the whole thing is like, just move on, just play our way. it was a lovely warm up how healthy that is really I think it's a cult it's good vibes only or else actually someone was on the plus side they get three days off to enjoy Perth yeah lovely part of the world one of the players wants to drive across the outback to the next game that's quite fun it'd be sick I think that's not been allowed one of the players isn't there there's no whole big debate about they should be playing some more like practice matches yeah they're not playing any warm ups he's just training he's just going to do a road trip instead yeah a lot of people are criticising them for not playing any warm up games and just training.

52:35But yeah, I mean, obviously Mark has always wanted to see Alice Springs. I've actually always wanted to drive across the Outback, so I rate her. Yeah, yeah. I'm all for him doing that. He played well. Is driving across the Outback good? It's quite dangerous, isn't it? It's just going to be pretty... It's just miles and miles of bugger all. Yeah, but it's like being on Mars. Yeah. And you do see kangaroos and shit. I actually really recommend, if people are into audiobooks, Bill Bryson in Australia is awesome. I did the one Walk in the Woods yeah that's great as well but that that has made me want to go across Australia my worry is if you like broke down in the outback you're so far from anyone it's so hot yeah he tells some mad stories about like explorers who are trying to be the first to ever cross it we should actually do a Patreon on them and like most of them die obviously but like the stories of what they have to do to survive is mental eating kangaroos yeah they're like at one point they do catch a kangaroo and they have to just like drink all the moisture out of it.

53:32Like it's blood. I think maybe it's bile. I can't really remember but they just need liquid. That's some mad shit. So yeah, good luck to Mark Wood on his four day drive to Brisbane. He's going to be in top four by the time he gets there. I think he's planning to go around the bottom which is maybe a bit easier because you're more coast. Yeah. But I would really like to get there. There's a train you can do across it. Oh wow. That's going to be amazing. Obviously you're not coming. Well you said you didn't want to do the outback. I'm just worried if it's a long journey it's just gonna get a bit monotic it's quite flat flat boring featureless it's about the journey man as you're speaking of long old journeys have you clocked this guy who's walking he's been walking across the world since 1998 and he's he's getting close to finally finishing i'm real so that's 27 years because i'd never i'd never heard about this guy until the other day and it's like he's been doing this 27 years you just thought he'd have picked up a bit more yeah coverage maybe he's just not doing it for that because my thing was like you know like the hardest geezer yeah exactly all over everything instagram youtube he'll like you know like just come on mate but this guy's like under the radar doing his thing smashing it yeah this is about as impressive as it gets so his rule is walk across the whole world without using any motorized transport so it's just walking he's an ex-paratrooper you'll be surprised to learn and he started in chile in 1998 told his wife he was nipping out for some milk

55:03we were chatting about this in the office and Jack, other Jack who works with us we looked at the dates that he started and the date was the day after he was born I think he was sort of like Dad is that Jack had already made a joke being like oh yeah my dad nipped out and then it was the day after his birthday yeah so he he's from hull but he started in chile and he basically i think i've got a map of his route um so he started at the bottom of south america went all the way up the americas crossing from south to central america is really dangerous i think it's called the barrier gap and it's like riddled with cartels and and sort of paramilitary so that was pretty hairy he said and then the thing that's really taken a lot of time is getting across from alaska to russia which you know if you've ever played Risk, you'll know how hard it is to break into Irkutsk.

55:56He basically got there, I think in sort of 2006-ish time. So he was making good, good progress. And then he had real trouble getting a visa from Russia that would be long enough for him to get through. Because he's got to get out the other side out of Russia. And there were proper dicks about it. So he kept going in and he'd get like halfway and he was sort of halfway into his 90 day visa. And he was like, I'm not going to make it. He's got to come back out. So I've got to double back into Alaska. And then he had like, we see a picture of him here that basically it's all like snow drifts and stuff.

56:26And then the wrong time of year it just melts. And it's like a massive watery expanse. You can't get across that. There he is. It looks absolutely grueling. Is he doing this on his own? He's got a wife and she sometimes joins. She doesn't wash. I don't know if they met on this, but she sometimes joins. Okay. Wow. It's absolutely nuts. It must be weird being married to someone like that. You'd think on like sporting expeditions like this that governments could make, you know, sort of a one-off visa. Well, he's not made a big deal of it. Well, I think there were times, it's called the Goliath Trek, I think.

57:00And there have been moments where it's been big in the news, but you know, this was 1998. We were just on LimeWallet. I was just downloading out the content. Fucking wanking on LimeWallet. Time for your walk. No shade on him, but it seems like a long time that it's taken him. you say you do it quicker I'm just looking at them like it is a long way but 27 years yeah but so he lost years on this Alaska Russia thing getting over and he kept having these little like disputes with the Russian authorities at one point he trekked he trekked all the way back from Alaska down to Washington DC, the other end of America to go to the Russian embassy to plead with them he did I think it was maybe a bit of a publicity thing.

57:49He walked. Yeah, he went all the way back. Is there no embassy closer than Washington? Apparently not. And he persuaded them to give him a longer visa, which they eventually did. By the time he got back to Alaska, it already expired. Yeah. Go on, mate. Go on, quick. We'll give you 90 days from now. Yeah, get your fucking skates on. Shake your leg. But I think also he then, 2008 financial crisis, loads of the companies that were sponsoring him had to pull the sponsorships. No one had any cash. So he's stuck. And he does need sponsorships. so he's stuck and I think he has also just done the odd like year chilling in Mexico right and I also because apparently he was in Mexico not that long how did the sponsors yeah hang on he's got a nice apartment he's sponsoring this guy I don't remember sponsoring you to go to Cancun spring break I actually get the impression that maybe at times he's double backed on himself using like normal transport but never gaining ground with it because he was in Mexico not that long ago right anyway he eventually got through the Russian bit.

58:46I think he gets into Mongolia somehow. And then another obstacle he had was last year, he needed to get around the Caspian Sea but he didn't want to go into Iran or Russia now is no-go because of the war. British citizens, bad idea. So the Caspian Sea is 200 miles wide and in the end he swam it. Which he would do like three hour shifts and then he'd be on a support boat. Yeah Which hopefully Did not move forward I would consider that cheating He's quite a big boy So It'd be quite good If at the very end The Guinness World Records Were like Actually You took an Uber At the end in DC So Gonna avoid it Anyway He's now in Romania Yeah So he's done it He's coming home He's coming home Walking He's coming home Is he coming home for Christmas Is that there Yeah I don't think He's gonna make it for Christmas He's from Hull So that's where he's ending We're gonna try and get him we're going to try and get him when he gets in at Folkestone yeah well you wanted to meet him in Calais I want to go Calais let me in Calais is that where he's going to?

59:50I feel like we'd really bond yeah how is he crossing the channel? well good question so the tunnel the Eurostar tunnel has a service sort of tunnel that goes alongside it and a few people have used it for certain things in the past so he's now speaking to the UK government about walking through. They're being really really unhelpful. Really unhelpful and he was like if I absolutely fucking have to I'll swim it. But it is last resort because I think he's scarred after the Caspian Sea. I was going to say how wide is the channel? It's 26 miles. Right. So it's a small list. Like an eighth of the Caspian Sea.

1:00:30Yeah. I mean it's just I mean mate he's probably fucking knackered he's been going 26 years. It's pretty cold this time of year as well. Apparently he predicted as early as the early 2000s that he'd finish in 2026 really really yeah you will pick around in Mexico for three years spring break baby but yeah so he's yeah he's coming whatever it is is coming home whatever that is midlife crises are coming home yeah what is he what is he running from it's gonna be great I think we should definitely try and meet him for some of the like Folkestone to Hull yeah should we do the last do the last leg with him Do you remember when Hardest Giza finished?

1:01:11That one guy like slightly ruined the finish. Really? He beat him over the line. There was like a tape for the line and loads of people joined for the last mile. It was in like North Africa somewhere and one guy ran just slightly ahead of him and broke through the finish line. You cunt! I've just run all of Africa. So hopefully no one does that to... I'm surprised he's not got like any massive headline sponsors though because it's all really under the radar. Yeah, like do you know what? He hasn't been doing much socials, has he? Yeah, well, I tried to find him and he's quite hard to find. It's almost like he's been on his own for 26 years.

1:01:43The internet was in its infancy when he started out. I was following him on LimeWife racking up a big old phone bill. But he should really be... I get really like Forrest Gump vibes from this guy. Do you know what I mean? He's on his own and he's got like a bit of a pack behind him. He had the beard for a while. Yeah. But yeah, from Romania, I back myself to walk back from Romania. Yeah? Yeah. How can you get Ian alive, mate? What, by fucking wolves? Romanian. They do have wild wolves at those mountains, don't they? Nigel Pearson got cornered by some. Yeah, I think, how long's the walk? What was it saying?

1:02:1420? 25 hours? That's drive, mate. Oh, right. I was going to say, I'll do that now. Let's get home. Yeah, no, I reckon he's at least two months off. Yeah, he's not going to be home for Christmas. 490 hours. 500 hours, and that's non-stop. That's non-stop. How many hours is, how many days is that? That's 20 days. I reckon if you proper pushed it, you could probably get it done in a month. Nah, it's 20 days non-stop. And it's a month till Christmas. he's coming home for Christmas yeah he's coming home for the 3rd of Jan still alright we'll keep people posted on the story yeah hopefully he won't fall at the last hurdle at least start like a live tracker or something so people can watch it yeah he he should have vlogged the last year anyway we're gonna try and get him on yeah I've emailed him alright I'm sure like the BBC and stuff are emailing him as well is he checking his emails hopefully alright I think that's all we've got time for that was a wonderful episode I thought I hope everyone enjoyed it we'll be back on we're going to Patreon now we've done a Q &A JP's not on it I should say don't subscribe for that basis he was too scared he didn't want to face the fans don't exclude me again boys it's Q &A where we asked some of the most hotly asked questions among them when are you doing a live tour well you know the answer to that it's April and tickets are on sale today at 10am alright thanks a lot JP Pleasure as always.

1:03:38Thanks, Zach. Thanks a lot. Thank you.

1:04:07Hebrew was decent enough. Didn't have much to do. Ugh, 99 minutes. Not a single goal. Well, Bet365 sure came through, though. I bet$10 and got$150 in bonus bets, just for signing up. At least someone scored. Bet365. Winning is everything. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 21 plus only. Must be physically located in Illinois. Tees and C's apply. In-app only.