Kevin Pietersen: England’s arsehole genius (with Fin Taylor) | Part one

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1:56But for KP, the drama is just kicking off. From shagging with Shane Warne to cosying up to conmen, this is the story of England's arsehole genius. Welcome back to The Upshot. I'm Jack. Zach is here, as ever. Hello, Jack. Hello. We are joined today by Finn Taylor. Boys, how are we doing? Very good. You missed out 7-7 from the list of 2005 events. Do you know there was a discussion? Was there? Yeah. Sorry, I wasn't privy to that. Yeah, we were like, do we do the buses? Get the buses in. And then we were looking. The only flattened Basra. Yeah, I wanted an Iraq war one, but we were looking, and it wasn't a vintage year.

2:36For the Iraq war? Yeah, for the coalition. Is this post where the guys are hanging on the bridge? Sorry, I've come in quite hot. I tend to do this. I tend to not get the memo. What I'm obsessed with is, you know, in Premier League years, the Sky Sports show is when they try and link world events to what was happening. So it's 2001 Andy Cole and Dwight York were banging him for United but in America two other towers fell. It's just like the most the guy who writes those scripts I'm obsessed with they're trying to like the massive U-turns in tow. Is he enjoying that? Do you think that's like part of the fun for him?

3:09I think he realises no one's watching it and so he's just like fuck it how can I get from the demolition of Sarajevo in 95 to Blackburn winning the league? What's the link? Or do you think those two events are maybe they're links yeah exactly or in his mind they are equal in sort of world history they're both as important I mean Blackburn yeah when has Blackburn done anything since then exactly similarly when has Serbia been bigger you know yeah hey man yeah we had a good look at world events Crazy Frog was a bit of a gift I think because that really I mean do you guys remember what you're doing in 2005 I just missed the bus I was on my way into central London actually wow Wow.

3:48Running for it. Doing more atrocity gag. It's not as impressive as the people who were meant to be in the World Trade Centre, is it? I missed the bus. Yeah, my mum was on one of the buses going the other way. It's like, well, actually, if you're going the other way, you would never. No. You're about as far as possible from being caught up in it. Is it the same number? Yeah. 73, I think, was one of them. I can't remember, yeah. About Euston way. What are we talking about? Kevin Peterson. Well, no, 2005. Sorry, should I explain who you are for people who don't know? Yeah, I mean, I feel like people have got an idea now.

4:17they've turned off if they don't yeah the vibe is clear so Finn is a comedian and host of my genuinely my favourite podcast first first thing I listen to every week very sweet Finn vs history so it's a I'm a scholar yeah yeah you're a scholar of history a little bit of comedy have you done a 7-7 episode yeah not yet we've got to keep our powder dry I mean there's there's certain topics that for my fan base that is real red meat and you try and drip feed that because if you know if they had it their way it would be you know Nazis 9-11 the hunt for bin Laden 7-7 Blair you know that's everything they want so you've got to just pepper that in with some real dry stuff about you know medieval papacy and shit the reform of the church and all that stuff that my co-host likes I'm not into any of that I'm a real I'm real straight guy history whereas Horatio my co-host sort of dabbles with the what I would call lesbian history art history terrifying I find it terrifying all that stuff yeah but no I'm yeah I host a history podcast I guess I guess that's why I am and Finn vs the Institute I should say Horatio's on Finn vs history with you he's your co-host yeah who you've had on yeah we talked about Gorincha the guy who lost his virginity to a goat yeah I read the book I read the book in school actually yeah fascinated with Gorincha was that on curriculum yes I went to a very weird school I was homeschooled no he also had rickets didn't he he had knocked knees yeah which supposedly creates some kind of mirage with the step overs yeah it made him into this sort of bandy leg genius yeah it did also cause him to be almost unable to walk by his 30s though I think but he won two World Cups and fucked a goat so I mean you'll never sing that what else do you need from your peak era your prime years two World Cups and a goat on the bedpost Notch anyway so you can follow Finn at Finn Taylor Comedy yeah that's right all the platforms all the platforms YouTube Instagram all of them check it out you certainly will want to by the end so cricket we've picked a cricket one we've done a couple of cricketers before in the upshot we did Shane Warne who actually is going to come up a lot in this pod anyway because him and KP are pretty tight so we won't get into that now Ian Botham yeah Lord yeah Lord Botham give him the respect have you seen his cock?

6:31I know he's got a big hog I've heard that but hello wow yeah we did this at the start of the Botham episode but in a way this pod is just showing comedians well it's great it's great that I worry sometimes about my production company from his HR department, but it's good that you're just showing against the cop straight away. It's the infamous... So basically, Ian Botham accidentally tweeted a dick pic. That's right. And the dick pic is sort of resting on his stomach. I'm not sure I could get mine to my belly button. I don't think that's hard, though. I don't think it's going to his belly button.

7:03I think he's taken it from that angle because it makes it look longer. Or he's got a very short belly button to dick. It's an optical illusion. It's a decent cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Solid hog. Good. That's bang at three. Sort of hairy all the way up. That's buying higher up the order than both of his, ironically. That's doing a job. Yeah. Anyway, I guess those are the two sort of wild people at cricket. KP's a slightly different proposition. KP is the only... He is an England great. You'd definitely call him an England great. But he's the only England great that when he got out, a part of me was like, no, good.

7:38Because he's just such a cunt. and I think part of that is that he's a white South African so from likeability terms he is playing life on difficult mode although that's because he was playing life on easy mode until about 994 but you know there's that cricket is such a weirdly esoteric British the sensibility of cricket is so British and so bringing a white South African energy to it you're immediately like come on mate that's not what this is and And yet he was probably, you'd have to say, definitely the most talented batsman England have maybe ever had. And also just a breath of fresh air, no?

8:18Because he was so exciting to watch. Yeah, it was that period where cricket got really exciting and they started. Was he the first one to really start all the sort of switch hits? Yeah, he invented the switch hit. Yeah, exactly. So he sort of pushed for that whole... I guess it's the T20 era. And he was doing that in tests, which now it's like, that's what England do. was this they tried to outlaw the switch here right no I think it was just a bit unpopular I like the idea they banned it your classic he's a cunt but he's our cunt sort of although he's not he's not his South Africa's cunt that's the other issue he never felt like our cunt depends how far along the cunt spectrum you are and then he goes back to being theirs yeah I mean we'll get into the verdict and is he a wanker I think we know the answer but yes we go all the way back find out where this guy came from Yeah, let's do it.

9:06So Kevin Peterson was born in 1980 in apartheid South Africa, as you mentioned. So his mum's actually English. She's from Canterbury. But his dad is a very strict... She wanted to move there. She just liked what they were doing. Yeah. The culture here is great. For people like me, it's great. Lovely weather. Lovely weather. I love the rules. very regimented I feel very at home here I kind of still a bit suspicious of people who love South Africa even you know people are like I go there every year for winter yeah what museums are you going to yeah yeah I don't know anyway his dad is his dad is is Africana hey hey quite yeah quite like holds his culture quite strongly so KP and his which part of his culture So they have to speak Afrikaans on Wednesdays, KP and his three brothers.

10:04So KP's dad is very strict, real disciplinarian. He canes the kids with what he describes as an army stick. That's my army stick. I think it's like a cane, but thicker. Right. More painful. Like Ian Botham's cock. Almost like that. Harder. Less scaly. So he was caned a lot. He also attended this really strict school, Maritsburg College, it was called. And it was basically based on like an ultra hierarchical English boarding school. South Africans doing hierarchy, that doesn't sound right. Yeah, no. That does not sound right at all. It was sort of, you know, his dad found the only school in the area that had this, operated this kind of policy.

10:46So all the kids have got to wear straw boaters. There's a lot of weird rules. So when the junior boys spoke to teachers or even to like senior boys, they had to say please at the end of every sentence. Wow. Every sentence. Every sentence. So it'd be like, hello, hello, please. But surely that's just out of context. Don't need please. It's just to be servile. It's just hierarchy. So this is like a 1950s English boarding school. Minus the noncing, we hope. No noncing. No evidence. But I think, I mean, sure. I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. No, I don't think South Africans are noncing. they're too hardcore for that there's a kind of there's a bittersweet sort of melancholy to English noncing that fits in with cricket I think warm beer summer days noncing it's all part of the it's all part of the picture isn't it whereas you know white settler countries are too busy fighting off the indigenous population yeah it's genocide non-noncing it's genocide non-noncing basically Britain had its genocide stage and now later on you get into the lazy noncing era yeah it's sort of suppressed genocide yeah yeah Yeah.

11:50So this school's got quite a lot of weird traditions. So there's one called Wooden Spoon, where sick formers on their final day would force feed moldy food to kids in the year below. Christ. Nice. It's actually, that kind of shit is still going on at this school. So discovered a, there was a scandal from a few years ago where the prefects pissed in the long jump sand and made the younger kids crawl through it. Wow. Love it. is that a name that game um piss piss piss piss piss piss yeah so that's their soggy biscuit yeah again it's a bit more aggressive than soggy biscuit which is yeah it's not got the kind of tender boyhood yeah yeah collaborative pleasure really yeah um but yeah so so kp he's he's existing in this quite odd uh hierarchical tormented environment uh but sport is sort of his escape.

12:48So he plays hockey, rugby, tennis, squash, but eventually chooses cricket. He's got three brothers I think as well and they're always wrestling. He talks about, I watched a piece about him last night and he was saying, you know, of all the eshes I played when I was in the Wanderers getting booed, nothing was hard. I didn't get hit harder than my brother's playing rugby in the garden. You know, you're like, all right, mate, shut up. So that's his whole thing. His whole thing is that nothing was tougher than just like wrestling with my brothers. He loved the fact that his dad beat him with the stick as well.

13:20Really? Oh, he wanted it. He thought that was great. Does he beat his kids with a stick? I think he beats his parents. He goes to old people and beats them. Hey, one all. Yeah. I think he'll beat anyone, really. I think he's quite soft. We'll get into that. He is quite softly spoken. How was his dad beating him? Was he kind of doing these mad reverse scoops with the stick? The switch. Is that where he got? Did he switch at him? Yeah, I did switch at him. Is that where he got the idea for it? It was like, my dad would actually just flip, stick around. You think he's going one-ass cheek and then the other one.

13:49And hit me into the leg side with my right hand. It was fascinating to watch. That's where I got the idea. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it does help him to pick up a few batting tips. And he plays a lot of cricket. In 1997, he makes his debut for the B team of Natal. He had one of the big province teams in South Africa. So he's 17 at this point. And very quickly, he gets promoted to the first team. He's mainly a bowler at this point. He does a bit of batting. I think. Some real shit offspin. But yeah, some offspin is his speciality. And in 1999, England come to South Africa on tour and they play a match against Natal.

14:27And the players are really impressed by KP, this young starlet. And at the end of the game, the England captain, Nasser Hussain, pulls him aside and basically says, you should come play county cricket in England. It'll be much better for you. and it's kind of music to KP's ears because he's already quite fucked off at this point because he'd been dropped by Natal earlier in the season which he blamed on their this like racial quota system that they have in South Africa where the other way is what you're thinking four non-white players had to be on the team yeah it was a whole rebalance thing after apartheid and he you know he's playing the white South African hits he's complaining about that yeah Which, I mean, how old is he at this point?

15:14Like 18? Yeah, 17, 18. It's pretty precocious racism to be at 17. I guess, what year is this? Late 90s? Because this is like a boomer, like anti-woke complaining about DEI. But I guess he's young. And he's 17. Isn't he young enough that he sort of, like Mandela's been in power for like a couple of years. I guess it's the, yeah, I suppose so. Maybe it's pretty, he grew up with it. He's also thinking, I've spent the past seven years crawling through piss-soaked long-jub sand. And I've come out the other side. And now all I want is to enjoy the fruits of this. Yeah. This society. I never actually get the impression he's racist.

15:50No, no, but he's, he's in a, you know, he's a white South African. So everyone thinks he's racist. That's the problem. Yeah. You can't hear that accent and think, you can't really imagine like a white South African therapist. Can you? Hey, tell me about your problems. Oh, that must've been really hard for you. Like it just doesn't, it doesn't work. That, that culture just isn't a kind. I can really empathize with your problems. Empathies, I empathise with that. It doesn't sound... Yeah, and he's got that weirdly soft version of it. His voice is weird. Yeah, the slightly sort of camp. Yeah, he's got a bit of a campness that you never expect.

16:20A tenderness to it, which is quite... Again, it's very jarring. Yeah. There was a bit of English accent in there as well, every now and again, picked up. So he then goes to England. So he does, yes. He's fucked off about this whole racial quota system that South Africa's got. Woke nonsense. Woke nonsense. Woke nonsense. Yeah. so he then goes over and joins Canuck Cricket Club which is a small team sort of on the outskirts of Birmingham it's 2000 now and initially he's enjoying the cricket but life in England is not really to his taste so he's living in this single room above a squash court which it's got to be one of the worst places to live the squeaks exactly living next to a tennis court it's a bedroom above the squash court it's in the cricket club yeah it's in the cricket club that's what you do isn't it but can you imagine just like trying to get to sleep and it's just but no racial quotas exactly you can just play if you're white quite funny that he left South Africa you know people are like so when did you leave and he's like yeah around the time Mandela it's like leaving Germany I'd say the country went downhill 94 it's like when did you move to South America from Germany about 45 46 yeah yeah so he's he's at Cannock Cricket Club he's also working part time as a barman in the clubhouse which he also doesn't like he says he hates the horrible black country accents right so yeah I wonder what part of the phrase black country he's got a problem we should keep them separate yeah separate I cannot believe I'll move from South Africa to the black country that's the last thing I wanted to do yeah he's he's not enjoying that when did he go Nottingham then so this is that's after oh right I thought he went there first no so he does he's like a gap he does does five months working behind the bar serving scampi fries and stale lager to to the black country people yeah which obviously that's sort of reversal of roles for him so doesn't doesn't go down too well he's actually in 2006 so after he's like starred for England at the Ashes he's dating a pop star and he was still complaining about money that Canuck owed him for these shifts at the bar where's my payment in lieu but yeah he does well with them they win their local league and the following season he gets picked up by Nottinghamshire the county side and everyone's pretty excited he's this young starlet coming through and he delivers straight away straight away so he scores a century on his debut and his first season he's unbelievable knocking centuries like every other game and yeah he he stays there for a few years he really cements himself as the star of the team but unfortunately they get relegated in 2003 which KP blames on the pitch right at Trent Bridge is either to be fair he's playing really well isn't he yeah he is playing well so so yeah they not give shea get relegated and kp decides to hand in a transfer request which doesn't go down too well with his teammates so it was actually midway through the final game of the season that he broke it to the captain jason galleon uh that he was going to hand in this transfer request which you know mid-match is a little bit provocative and after the game uh kp leaves his stuff in the dressing room goes off for dinner and jason loses the plot trashes his stuff smashes KP's bat and throws all his kit off the balcony of the pavilion right I mean I'm on KP's side in this one yeah this is I mean he is a victim here yeah and also they're shit and he's obviously so much better than them to be honest I'm on KP's side for a lot of the story till he opens his mouth till he writes his fucking book which we'll come on to but he's just he's better than his teammates yeah he's a big fish in a small pond and he's done something about it and they've got annoyed.

20:31It's fair enough, but you know, captains in cricket are quite, they like a bit of loyalty, don't they? Nottingham should actually end up forcing him to stay for another season because he's still got a contract, but he's basically miserable for that whole year. And then in 2004, when his contract expires, he signs for Hampshire, who are captained by our old friend Shane Warne. Warne. And the two of them, they're going to get up to some trouble together later which we'll come on to yeah because Warren basically persuades him to come there and he only makes I think he I'm right in saying he only maybe plays once for Hampshire in like 10 years once he gets called up for England yeah he's just yeah exactly so he's mainly just there to for him and Warren to just absolutely completely plough through to Hamptons yeah and then two hour train to London yeah more of that we're going to talk about that apparently they move into this place it's called like Ocean Drive where it's sort of the cool seaside like sort of trendy Docklands vibe and it's like them, Matt Letizia yeah yeah yeah Anders Svensson oh yeah Dreamboat those are the biggest names I could find in Ocean Drive Kevin Peterson and Matt Letizia it's sort of the we talked before about Princess Park Manor which is a place in North London where all the like Arsenal players Ashley Cole it's where Ashley Cole and Cheryl Cole met right so this is sort of the South Coast equivalent you've got it sounds like Dubai Kevin Peterson and Matt Letizia Dubai was in Southampton.

21:57Yeah. Which is what KP would crave. Yeah. Anyway, at this point, he is called up for the big time. So we're 2004. He's been waiting four years to qualify for England. And at the first chance, they're like, this guy's fucking class. Yeah. And so attacking, which is, you know, not an English trait. No. And so they take him on tour. And where's the tour? Zimbabwe and South Africa. So. The original black country. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go, KP. Like a weird homecoming for KP. and he is even in the build up he's branded a traitor by the South African press the South Africa captain Graham Smith says I am a patriot and therefore I hate Kevin Peterson because they dig up his comments he made as a teenager about the quota system yeah and he had slagged off Graham Smith in the past as well he'd called him like weird I can't remember what it said it was like he's weird and a dick or something right yeah fair point so the other South African players are in favour of this quota system I think it's just like I think I think it's I think it's hard it's a hard move in terms of optics to come out against the thing that's trying to repair the damage apartheid did.

23:01It's quite a bold move, isn't it? And I think you have to be prepared to eat some shit from other people. Yeah, which he did. Which he did. But he goes on this tour and he's the star. He's the player of the series. First of all, he dominates in Zimbabwe and then in South Africa where he's literally booed aggressively every time he walks out. First ball, he nearly nicks the first ball. Andre Nel's bowling and he does a high bounce. and Peterson so nearly is out the whole stadium goes oh and then he stays in I think he gets 22 not out the first game and yeah from that point on he just absolutely creams I feel like it's 200s and a 90 yeah I think he's top he's top run scorer England lose the series I remember watching it and like England the final ball of the innings England lost and he's just banging it for six he's just like so much better than his teammates yeah and by the end I didn't fully remember this but I read that the South Africans were giving him a standing ovation I don't know that I mean for context the England cricket team in the late 90s early 2000s are one of the worst they've ever been there.

23:59They've got Darren Goff, and he's a bit fat, loves a pint. He's a good bowler. But beyond that, I mean, Alex Stewart, you'd say, was a good captain, but we're struggling. And so to have someone come in who's young, who's just effortlessly creaming sixes, that's not something England have been doing for the last, like, 10 years. And suddenly it's all coming together. So we're now in early 2005. The Ashes is that summer. and suddenly there's a few players like Peter, you know, Flintoff, Tomason, even Michael Warren, the captain. There's just this sense that these guys are different. They're not scarred by the past.

24:35No. There's a sort of a Southgate-esque buzz to the England cricket team. But better football. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. England going into this, they haven't won the Ashes in 18 years. They've gone through this whole era where England are a joke, can't buy a win. But there's this growing sense that maybe this time's different. And Kevin Peterson's kind of the final missing piece. Yeah. Because into this team of like unscarred, talented guys comes this total freak who's really attacking. He's aggressive. He's got all the swagger that England never had. And he is not scared of Australia at all, which is new.

25:11Yes, because he is, in terms of like white settler, colonialist rankings, South Africa dicks Australia every time. Yeah. What as in he kind of thinks. If you've got like the Northern Irish, which are obviously like Scots but harder Scots whites Africans Australians New Zealand Americans Israelis oh Israelis the final three are the Northern Irish South African and the Israelis in the reality TV series of white settler colonialists those are that's who I'm backing out of those three I mean it's hard to look past the Northern Irish I think really I think they've I mean the Southers have gone soft on like Instagram they've gone woke cocktails do you know what I mean they're just like shagging now Are you saying Safra went woke in 94?

25:54Is that what you're saying? So they're out. Absolute woke nonsense, 94. What kind of reality show are we talking? Are we talking like Big Brother? This would be my equivalent. I think I've talked about this on my podcast. This would be my equivalent of like maths. I don't like any of the reality shows my wife watches. My version would be getting white settlers, populations in a house and seeing who wins. Scariest ones. The scariest fuckers win. Just like fight to the death? Yeah, kind of. Okay. what about a sort of Love Island-esque thing where they have to couple up it's basically that it's Death Island basically yeah but they kill each other they kill each other settle in each other's areas of the house exactly they slowly occupy slowly occupy gradually dilute the local population it's exactly that it's different rooms and then introduce segregation yeah I would watch that exactly sounds brilliant yeah apartheid island yeah and that's why Kevin Peacin's not scared of Australia he's not scared of Australia because he didn't give a fuck.

26:50And also he said, you know, he says that the reputation, that first play, wrestling with his big brothers and then also that first ODI series at the Wanderers where he's getting, I think Michael Vaughan says in the documentary I watched, I'd never heard noise like it. The booing. He said it was nasty. Yeah, I do remember it. We all like a bit of banter. That was nasty. That was nasty. I guess cricket is quite out of place really in cricket crowds generally. Is it? It's becoming more. It's becoming more. I mean, the whole like, the whole Bairstow laws. He kind of, in a way, KP sort of ushered it in a bit.

27:20And I would argue cricket has not reached anywhere near the peak it reaches this summer, that summer. Because it's 2005. It's on Channel 4. Yeah. So millions of people watch this series. Yeah. But before they do, there's some arguably bigger entertainment. Because KP and Shane Warne are getting up to no good. So this is back when they're in the ashes. They're all mates. Yeah. And they're having beers. I actually don't know how many of them are mates. because I think they're all a bit more matey now because they'll play for like the fucking deli charges together. Well, yeah, but there's a thing now where like the last Asher series at home, they all had a beer after the last game.

27:54Oh, yeah. At this point, they're having beers after every game together. So they're still like, yeah. Yeah. Every day of the game or just at the end? Possibly. I think there is a bit of that. KP sometimes takes that a bit far later on. When you get out, you get a tin out in the dressing room. Yeah. It's that era, isn't it? Yeah, true, actually. But anyway, KP and Warnett, it's different. They're like best men. they're shagging buddies. Yeah, yeah. So in April, in April before the Ashes starts. I'd love to have a shagging buddy. Yeah. I'm available for him. Yeah.

28:23I go to the football with him and then we're with my shagging pal. We just go shag girls. I think at that point, you know you've got a shagging problem when you've got shagging mates. You've got mates. An enabler. Yeah. Yeah. Well, KP and Warney, they are each other's shagging buddy. So this is April before the Ashes. So I should say, KP has not played a test match for England at this point. There's this growing clamor for him to play. Actually, England play these tests around then and he's not picked. Bangladesh. Right. Ian Bell gets picked instead of the Shermanator. But so this is April. Anyway, Kevin Peters is rising star.

28:53Shane Warne's the most famous cricketer on the planet. And the pair of them decide to catch the old, catch the train up from, the Southwest trains up from Southampton Central to Waterloo. Focusing on the boring bit of the story. They catch the train up. I think they probably trained to Airport Parkway to get on that line. But anyway. Which train line runs that? That's South Australia. That's South Australia. Not Southern. Which model? They're probably buying a super off-peak single. Calling out. They're not going home. They're not going home. Yeah, it's Hotel Bag yourself for those two. Yeah. Anyway, so they hit up, where else?

29:26China White. So in 2005, we've talked about China White a lot on this pod. China White is mecca. Yeah. For like... No, you can stop there. Yes. China White is mecca. It's white mecca. So you walk in there, you're seeing Charlotte Church hobnobbing with Prince Harry. Yeah. Prince Harry's wearing a fun costume. Yeah, Prince Harry's in his fun stage. You've got John Terry cheating on his wife with a woman on crutches in the loo's. And then parking in her space and just taking the fine. I thought that's what he did. You didn't know that. Worst of all... He just parks at Stable Bays and just takes the fine.

29:57Is that rich? Fuck it. Who else are you getting there? We've talked about China Way a lot on this pod. I mean, those are the sorts of characters you expect. Lamps? Cipriani. Yeah, Cipriani's like fingering a cheeky girl next to Nicole Scherzing Lembe Opix in there yeah Lembe Opix is inexplicable that's my cheeky girl I was ill I'm sorry it's it's halcyon days of like noughties tabloid yeah filth filth yeah back when Soho was Soho yeah yeah yeah oh yeah and these this pair Kevin and Shane are on a rampage I like China White yeah that's how you pronounce it China White China White China White you can get a bit of that China bit and just call it in the Blick country it's China White I call it South Africa, I had some there.

30:41Yeah. So anyway, they're just there to shag and they get talking to these two girls, Gemma and Laura. Gemma. They're such a mid-noughties name. Gemma. Gemma. Gemma. So apparently, KP opens them up by marching up to Gemma and he just goes, weren't you that trolley dolly from my flat? Trolley dolly. Eh. Eh. And she's like, no, what sort of chat up line is that? But somehow it works. Wow. And they end up bringing them back. So they must have a hotel actually because they take them back with them. Maybe Warnie's got a shag pad in London. I think the journey back to Sampton on South West trains would be probably one of the biggest boner kills.

31:16Yeah. Anyway, they go back to the house, which hopefully is in London, and apparently Warnie's really pushing the foursome. Yeah, yeah. Just really... I feel like he's mainly... I mean, they're shagging buddies, right? Cricket's about partnerships, isn't it? Yeah. It's about partnerships. More magic partnerships. Yeah, exactly. I'll wear a down up top, and then I'll just create a space for you to come in and really attack the bottom. before the season even kicks off soccer fans are already making predictions who wins the league who qualifies for europe and who's lifting the trophy at season's end on calci america's number one prediction market platform you're trading against peers in a live market meaning there's no house and as the probability changes you can buy in and out of your position for a limited time download the calci app and use code cup 26 to get 10 when you trade 10 k-a-l-s-h-i calci trade the beautiful game.

32:0318 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on marketplace and there it was the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for.