Lamine Yamal’s super seedy 18th | Extra shot

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0:32Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew, well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs.

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2:03My name is Jack. Zach is with me. Hello, Jack. Hello. How you doing? I am very good. Thank you. Still riding high on your Oasis Euphoria. I am just about feeling normal again. I think by Wednesday, the high is slowly beginning were off but the afterglow is still there so i probably i think it was on extra shot last week or maybe on the patreon uh i did a did a shout out for tickets for uh oasis and hugo one of our uh listeners got in touch and sorted me out for two tickets on friday uh which was absolutely amazing so massive shout out to hugo yeah we're not going full name just hugo hugo hugo bardsley yeah shout out Hugo that is extremely generous and he even put me up after as well which was extremely kind of him and you still got both your kidneys I did wake up with a small scar above my left kidney but I think it's just normal yeah it's like a Cheshire mosquito bite yeah we talked before about friend of a friend of a friend who went to Turkey for something cosmetic maybe a boob job I actually can't remember what the thing something that required anesthetic and woke up with pain there and like sort of left, got back to the hotel and looked in the mirror and there was like, I mean, it's fucking terrifying and horrible, but like a kidney shapes.

3:25They'd taken a kidney. Wow. Yeah. Heard it on the grapevine. Did. Yeah. Don't know what the repercussions were. Yeah. I'd be a bit scared to go back, to be honest. Yeah. I'll probably leave them like a two star review on Google reviews. I mean, I did get the boobs. The boob jobs were great. The boobs look great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have only got one kidney now. Anyway, you've still got both yours. I still, as far as I know, I haven't had any complications yet. Well, thanks, Hugo. Thank you, Hugo, and his parents as well. We stayed at their place. So thank you very much. Very kind. You can write a thank you letter as well.

3:56No, they're going to get a thank you letter in the post. Maybe even some merch. Ooh. Okay, yeah. Well, Upshort merch. Upshort merch, if we've got anything. If we've got anything. I'm not sure if we do. We'll see. I am going on Sunday in Manchester, I'm very excited very excited JP went on the weekend and now only speaking at Oasis lyrics sort of like a musical it's actually quite grating I'll be honest but I'm excited however I would love to go again so if anyone else has got spare tickets seriously World Cup final is also coming up so yeah Hugo if you're feeling generous I've always wanted to visit Thailand there was actually a funny moment as well on Friday just after Hugo had a message about the tickets where another message popped up on iPhone that was like a Twitter DM saying, yeah, no worries, just put you and Jack on backstage.

4:53Yeah, no worries, looking forward to seeing you. And my heart was like, are we going to be on the tour bus with Liam and Noel? Even just boneheads won her take. I actually would, obviously. But it was, in fact, the great cricketer. guys. Which is also extremely kind of them as well. And in many ways bigger than meeting the Gallaghers. To be fair, they had a live show in London on Sunday. I went excellent. And yeah, they invited us backstage. I took my friend who's a massive grey cricketer fan and he honestly was more starstruck by Pes and Higos from our Bosnich episode than he would have been for the Gallaghers.

5:29That was his oasis, that live show. Yeah, in a way they are the oasis of podcasting. Yeah, Stuart Broad had a chat with him. He was lovely. yeah so and Finn was there actually Finn Taylor was a real sort of podcast circle jerk so lovely yeah but yeah it wasn't backstage with the Gallagher Brothers which I can see why you're confused backstage with the Hammersmith Apollo anyway if anyone has got a spare ticket backstage or not for any other Oasis venue maybe not or anything else yeah if you've got to be honest it's about time we start cashing in our I'm actually quite hungry if anyone wants to save me for lunch seriously though if you've got a spare Oasis ticket I saw sporting wise Pep got booed at an Oasis gig yeah yeah did they like that was the one that was the one we were at did he come up on the screen or something no they actually they had a cardboard cutout of Pep behind them which the first time I saw it did fall because a little Pep was about to come out but he was just in the crowd I saw a photo of him with is it Jeannie Jean Gallagher Noel's son backstage and then what and then did everyone boo when they saw him that's what I heard yeah there was I think they dedicated one song to him and then there was a lot of United shining and Grealish I saw there looking pretty smashed yeah but not Grealish looking more smashed he looked like he had quite a nice interaction with some City fans I love City I love City do you think that's going to save him he needs to go I think he should move on but Grealish Nicky a few strongbows is vanilla compared to the exploits of football's latest wonder kid, Laminia Mao, who celebrated his 18th this week, at the weekend I think was the party.

7:17And you know, for most people, I think the best 18th birthday party they can hope for is convincing their mum to let you throw a house party and lay out bowls with three different flavours of crisps and promise not to be home till midnight. And sure, someone's gonna neck 10 cans of strongbow dark fruits and throw up on her favorite rug or snap the legs off that antique chair that belonged to your great grandfather. But if you're lucky, you might make out with that girl from geography that you've never spoken to. But Laminia Mao is no ordinary 18 year old. The Barcelona youngster is back home from his holiday in Rio with Neymar.

7:59and he celebrated the big 1-8 last weekend and he booked out this huge villa near Barcelona, a very extravagant party. There was a champagne fountain, a firework display. The whole party was gangster themed. So Lemine was dressed in this white suit with a rose in the pocket, black leather glove. He had a diamond encrusted cane. Real diamonds, I guess. Yeah. Oh, we're looking at Petrie looks great. Who are his two mates? It's very cool. I think one on the left is Cabassi, isn't it? Park of the Barca. Oh, yeah. He goes for Barcelona. Is it Rafinha on the right? Oh, actually, yeah. I think it might be.

8:38Yeah. Yeah, there were quite a few of the Barca boys there. Those two. Gabby was there as well. And a 36-year-old Robert Lewandowski. Was he actually? Yeah. Who frankly is too old to be going to 18th birthday parties. presumably he was just standing beside the buffet trying to convince Lamine's mates to not throw the deviled eggs onto the ceiling you know like at school discos where like like teachers or parents have to take turns just like supervising that's basically what he's doing him and Xavi there were yeah there's also some some Spanish pop stars who I've got to say I've never heard of So predictably, there were also an abundance of insta hotties at this party, some of whom may well be very good friends of Lamine's and were just invited.

9:31They weren't paid to be there. But it would seem that is not the case for all of them, because the Spanish model Claudia Calvo popped up on TV after the party. she didn't actually go but she explained that in the run-up to to the party somebody from Lamine's camp had got in touch with her and she said I was asked to attend Lamine Amar's birthday party they offered us between 10k to 20k to go but I don't know what they expected from us they were asking for blonde women with very specific chest dimensions we couldn't take our phones when you say very specific chest dimensions that like you must be decoupled yeah i mean i guess maybe they need they wanted to have a full range yeah you think it was about diversity it's like a qualities thing yeah yeah definitely it'll definitely be a diversity thing i'm sure that's a range yeah we've got like we've got hot blonde women with big boobs hot blonde women with With small boobs.

10:31Look, it's a very forward-thinking brunette one over there. It's a ginger crowded in the corner over there. Huge boobs.

10:42Hang on. So 10 to 20k must have certain style of breast. Yeah. And no phones. No phones. Right. She also added that they were looking for models or escorts. Oh, right. So it's just, yeah. Yeah. Because we get sent quite often, or I've been shown messages, where like Insta hotties will constantly get messages being like, Man City having a party, they're looking for like models, that kind of thing. It's really common in football. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see an odd life. Yeah, odd life doing that. And also like your 18th birthday party, like, right, we need some room meat. Yeah. Need some like brass to fill out the room.

11:23Like, is that, is it so, what are the rules? like are you are you basically if you're in that role are you are you like shagging people what as as one of the girls yeah invited or you just i think it's mainly that he just wants a lot of fit girls yeah i think i think it's optics really it's for the it's for the photos it's for the vibes i guess yeah and um maybe he just doesn't have any girl mates yeah probably i mean he's come last summer we were talking about him breaking up with his girlfriend because she sat on a boy's knee yeah he's come quite a long way yeah he's got a full circle really it's a weird sort of glimpse behind the curtain when you discover how these people are like recruited to the parties it'd be like being paid like having to pay people to come to your parties it's quite all i will say in his defense and i know there's more details so i'm gonna get in before they we get onto that because it's harder to defend but he's 18 right if you think back to when you're 18 and as you said the party's fucking like trying to persuade your mum to stay out for an extra half an hour and just like hope no one gives your little sister's pet rabbit a spliff like it's shit so imagine you earn I don't know what does he earn a hundred and something grand a week maybe more I think he's gonna get more now he's turned 18 yeah you're one of the most famous people on the planet like it would be almost a betrayal to my 18 year old self if I didn't do that kind of thing and when you're 18 you're like well I just want porn stars there do you know what I mean like you haven't yet learned that like that is not a fulfilling way to live your life yeah I suppose maybe it is do you know what I mean I'd be like right I want like I want like naked women with like trays of like drug do you know what I mean it would be so dumb yeah because I was 18 yeah I guess so and even the theme the gangster theme it's a bit I remember when when I was like that age I remember going to a party that was golf pros and tennis hoes do you know what I mean it's just dumb shit yeah there was a lot a lot of fancy dress stuff yeah I suppose I mean the thing is he presumably is not the one who's organising this party they've just like yeah but they'll be like what do you want and he'll be like I want girls with big boobs you know what I mean he's an 18 year old boy yeah yeah I suppose so he's got braces for Foxhane maybe that maybe that explains why Claudia didn't go well no why she did get the invite because you know if her name rings about you probably recognise her as the winner of Miss Teenager Spain 2021 which how does that competition exist yeah it's like a it's a honey trap for nonces the heberphiles aren't they the nonces who fancy like teenagers yeah so I mean what is that a beauty contest it's a beauty contest for teenagers but is it where they also have to like have done charity work or is it just I don't know to be honest isn't that the sort of shit that Trump used to be a judge for sort of grim shit I mean the one person who can get away with fancying Miss Teen Spain is the medium-out.

14:23So yeah, maybe they just ran through, ran through the candidates. Yeah. Anyway. So she didn't go. She didn't go. She, because she said she wasn't, you know, she wasn't sure what they were expected to be doing at this party. I mean, I think that's not her. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't he sort of, who are those other girls who was trying to get with the other week we were talking about them? So he, when he was, he's been on a couple of holidays lately, one with Neymar and then one with this, 29 year old OnlyFans model he was in I think Mallorca surely she came I hope so yeah she wasn't paid she's just yeah she's a good mate made him a cake yeah yeah yeah but as the fallout has continued from this party Lamine has been getting in even more trouble so it turns out that he hired a troop of I believe the term is little people right to provide entertainment at the party so there's a video doing around of them arriving literally like bust in I think there's 25 like a driveway to his house yeah so much press outside yeah they've got like suitcases which would imply costumes please tell me they weren't being thrown I don't think there was I was only there would be throwing so they were like serving drinks doing magic tricks as well they like handcuffed to him or anything I wouldn't surprise me the worst stag do it's like a stag do really for me the like stag do with I think you some people say you can use the term dwarf or little person having them on a stag do handcuffed someone that is the mark of the worst people on earth who organise an action yeah you can imagine Lewandowski at this party just like head in ass this is why you do not hang out with 18 year olds yeah

16:15hopefully yeah who else would it who i'm trying to think who else rafinio would maybe rafinio rafinio's down for that shit how old is rafinio uh i don't know 27 i think i'm not not too sure um i wouldn't be surprised if rafinio is the one who organized

16:34yeah but you know unsurprisingly as it is not 1995 this has gone down pretty badly uh so the adee which is a spanish organization that represents people with dwarfism has put out a statement condemning lamine and it says that they're going to launch legal action against him on what grounds i'm not entirely sure but it's actually escalated even further because the spanish government has now demanded an investigation into it so it's the the minister for disabilities has come out and like condemned the whole thing I mean I can see why you'd condemn it but is it a crime? I don't think it is I don't think it is like you know whether you agree with it on moral grounds it's like they you know it's just the entertainers and they've been paid to be there the ethics of it are definitely questionable yeah is that just the minister being like they should like anyway Anyway, let's not get too bogged down in that stuff.

17:36It does make your mum getting pissed off at your 18th birthday party that someone poured WKD blue on the cat seemed quite tame. Yeah, the fag ash on the kitchen table doesn't feel so bad. Yeah, the Spanish government has ordered an investigation into your 18th. Can you imagine that? It's sort of like Project X type thing, isn't it? And judging by the amount of press outside, it was a big story in Spain, even beforehand. Yeah. Do you remember when Ronaldo... Brazilian Ronaldo had that party it was around the time Beckham had joined Real Madrid and it was like four days long we talked about it on our Galactico's episode and and the amount of press outside was mental Ronaldo was bringing them drinks and stuff I don't think your mouth was yeah yeah yeah no I think the press were coming nowhere near it there were some videos that came out I think from Lamin um it looks like a footballer's birthday party are people like dancing or are they like i didn't see any of that really it was like they were very much like kind of press photos because everyone everyone got their phone taken off them when they went in which i kind of rate it makes it exciting yeah it's a bit like burkhine getting you yeah getting a sticker on your phone yeah it's uh it's caused a bit of a stab marco were reporting that he could be facing a one million euro fine i don't understand what for no i yeah yeah i think he's also 18 like i know he's an adult now but like yeah 18 year olds are fucking dumb as discussed yeah yeah yeah i've seen people do worse at parties what's the worst you've seen i was actually trying to think about that i've seen eggs and eggs on the ceiling yeah the the rabbit smoking a spliff i wasn't there but someone told me that when i was a teenager that had happened yeah they gave the yeah yeah definitely heard that like hot box in the shed with the cat inside yeah my 18th someone pissed in a beer bottle and then put the cap back on and put it in the fridge and I'm pretty sure someone else drank it yeah I remember one I went to where the mum got locked in the cupboard by people for the whole night

19:50I don't know what the fucking kid whose party it was was doing probably passed out somewhere Yeah. It was just like wanton vandalism. It was like if you hosted a party, it was like there's just a good risk that someone is just going to trash your house. Like imagine now if you went to a party and people started chucking eggs on the scene. What the fuck are you getting out of my house? It's making me feel guilty. Some flashbacks. Nothing really heinous. Yeah. Has anyone actually asked the Little People performers? So yeah, in the name of balance, I should say that one of them has... What do they say?

20:24Defended Lamine. He said, Lamine treated me very well. There were no incidents. Quite the opposite. We danced, handed out shots, had fun, performed magic. It was a wide variety of entertainment. We're not circus animals. We have clear boundaries. Why can't I be an entertainer just because of my physical condition? Well, fair point. Which, yeah, I think it, yeah, I think it is a fair point if they want to do that. Yeah. They're like entitled to do that if you want to spend your... If you want to earn your living hanging out with some of the worst people on earth. And some big name footballers. And some big name footballers, to be fair.

21:01Some of them are in both categories. I mean, that guy's making a pretty fair point. I think it's just like... It's obviously just like extremely cringe and tasteless to like... Do you know what I mean? It's just like the punchline is ha ha, look, they're small. Yeah, that is like... You're inviting them to the party. But equally like... Because you find them... Yeah, they look funny. But also... can't they work as entertainers like the guy says? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's an interesting debate. As deep as this podcast gets. Yeah, I think people organising those parties are wrong ones. But if you choose to be an entertainer, then fair play.

21:36Who are we talking about the stag do where they got the Wielston Raider and they handcuffed, I think Horatio was talking about, they handcuffed him to the groom for the whole stag. Yeah. Like a weekend. A whole weekend. I think it was like that. They just sleep together. And again, that is like funnier actually, and quite funny, but like that stops being funny I don't know there's like a genre of bloke who just like finds shit like that funny yeah to be honest the World's Arena one is quite funny he's yeah you know what I mean like that thing where you go on a stag and you can pay to have them kidnapped which again is kind of funny in theory but also it's like shut the fuck out yeah and we've come this far without mentioning Neymar but like clearly Luminum Al and I'm delighted about this so we shouldn't knock him yeah clearly he's the heir to Neymar everyone thought like oh he's the next Messi he's fucking Neymar like he's amazingly skilled but like he's having some wild parties yeah which is excellent news for us yeah it's gonna keep the lights on here for the next decade and that's why I'm not knocking it I mean like they're a dying breed these like strikers who want to have these and also like sort of doesn't give a shit about how the publicity pans out I was wondering where his dad is in all of this because we've always his dad was at the party yeah of course he fucking was because his dad is younger than me I think he's 35 and has has a tattoo saying I hustle hard and it's just an all round I mean he's young yeah so like we're obviously talking about like you know the mum can't be back 12.30 but it honestly wouldn't surprise me if he was involved in organising a lot of these bits yeah no he was he was last one on the dance floor I'm sure yeah which is a bit like Neymar and his dad do you know I mean it's very similar true and thank god oh yeah because you know yeah we were we were getting worried that you know yeah yeah we might be entering a drought of uh it's like the Dalai Lama I'm starting to worry about the successor will china claim him will like javier tebas get to him and make him really boring but no no we've got we've got lamin got absolutely nothing yeah um speaking of birthday celebrations uh lamin wasn't the only one and you know while while he was serenading teen beauty queens and watching little people before magic conor mcgregor turned 37 on monday yeah i bet he was up to much worse yeah you're right uh i sort of assumed he was like 50 yeah I mean he wasn't fighting that long ago 37's quite he could fight couldn't he anyway yeah it was his birthday and you know you kind of wonder like Conor's probably had his stage of having parties like Laminya Mal I imagine all of that he'd be up for but what do you get he's 37 what do you get the scumbag who has everything you know like he's got all the sort of diamond encrusted tat that he'll ever want well how about a pair of sex scandals so he turned turned 37 on Monday which coincided with the press publishing some pics of Connor canoodling with a woman on a beach.

24:20He's obviously in a relationship with Dee Devlin, but you often see things that call that into question, sometimes in court. And he, yeah, so there were these pics of him like getting with this woman on the beach. It's kind of like big deal. It's not, it's not the sort of story the Upshot really cares about. But then on, on his birthday, the American rapper Azalea Banks popped up on Twitter with some screenshots of an Instagram exchange she'd had with McGregor in the DMs. And most of the exchange involved Connor sending her a couple of horrible dick pics. Okay, so what's weird... The pic on the left?

25:00Yeah, he's attached weights to his cock. And he's written lifting weights. So I've actually never heard of this, but basically it's like a strap that goes around the shaft. and then a chain hangs off it with like a heavy ball. Okay. Is that a thing people do? What for the plan? For what? Strengthening your direction? So there's basically this theory that by doing that, you make your dick bigger. So I looked it up and it says, the gist is that the weight on the end of your penis creates enough resistance to gradually stretch the tendons and muscles in your shaft. So you end up with a longer peen.

25:38Peen. Why have they called it peen? I don't know. That's the first thing I get. I think that might be the AI overview. Which probably means it's bollocks. But apparently there's very little actual evidence that it does much. No, I'm sure that can't be good for you. It's like, that's not the sort of thing that you shouldn't be stretching. No. But you know, like, there are some, like, societies where, like, the rings around the neck or, like, earlobes and stuff like that. Anyway, Azalea Banks was not particularly impressed. she didn't ask for the dick pics. They were unsolicited, as always. Upshot rule 48, all dick pics were unsolicited for some reason.

26:19She tweeted it and described it as a potato farmer dick. It's kind of a racial slur. It's a racial slur, yeah. But anyway, quite funny as well. And she also said, this is haram, which, yeah, it is fucking haram. Actually, in the second pic that Connor posted, he also wrote, don't be a rat because all rats get caught. So basically being like, don't tell anyone. Yeah. Which is very threatening, I guess, is what you expect from a sex criminal. Yeah. One other thing I just wanted to point out is there's quite a lot of curvature in his cock. I mean, I'm not surprised when you see the weights he's got hanging off them.

26:56Yeah, but it's from, is it from left, right to left. Yeah. It's like an out swinger. Yeah. If you're a fast bowler. Yeah. Actually, it's an in swinger. Sorry. So, it'll take out your off stamp. It'll rip that fucker up. I think he works with his right hand. Why is that what happens? Is it to do with... It's just a guess. Interesting. Or left hand maybe. I saw a sort of like pervy Twitter channel just posted it with breaking news. Conor McGregor is uncircumcised. Sorry, what are we spending our time on? Anyway, Azalea Banks posted all this. She also said, aren't you trying to be the president of Ireland?

27:34Which is a good fucking point. she said she's never met him as well so that's completely random I guess we should say it looks a lot like him but it could be fake I mean the tats match yeah you can see his face yeah I mean AI's got pretty good yeah it could be it's a weird thing for her to just post out of the blue yeah and it's like it does not surprise you at all that Colin Franklin would do that but like it's basically she's basically a flash she's a yeah it's like it is online I'm pretty sure that's a crime that's a sex crime yeah how has he picked out Azalea Banks as well there were some people saying he meant to send it to Iggy Azalea the Australian singer and got the wrong Azalea but also Azalea Banks I'm not victim blaming here but she is mental just as a side point like if you're gonna if you're looking to discreetly surprise someone with a dick pic probably not the one I saw so there was a news report a while ago that said Azalea Banks left her Instagram followers shocked and disturbed after she filmed herself exhuming the body of her dead pet cat before cooking it in a pot on the stove to quote bring it back to life.

28:40The cat is called Lucifer. In the since deleted videos she can be heard laughing before exclaiming the cat is in the bag. She frequently refers to herself as a witch. The cat had been dead for three months. Oh my god. Is that just a skeleton? It sounds like the kind of thing Matthias de Licht's wife would do. Those bones have healing properties. Okay. She sounds like maybe the only person more mental than Conor McGregor. Maybe that was his logic. Yeah. Maybe they're a good match. Yeah. It doesn't sound like she's into it. It's not, though. No. But yeah, quite brazen. And it makes you wonder, how much is he doing that?

29:16What was the reason that she exhumed the dead cat? To bring it back to life in a pot on the stove. Presumably didn't work. No. At least for his. At least for his still. Very much still six feet. Actually, he's not six feet under. No, he's in a soup now. I mean, that is batshit. Yeah. Kind of good that people are still keeping that Aussie Osborne flame alive Yeah I was about to say She's sort of the Aussie Osborne It's a bit like the Minimal It's fucking weird but I'm glad it exists Unlike Conor McGregor who's just come back Anyway he Be very happy if there's no success to him Yeah he just posted on Insta Happy birthday to me It was his birthday to be fair Anyway speaking of Instagram fuck ups Got one more for you Rishabh Pant the Indian wicketkeeper He's like cricket's golden boy at the moment.

30:04He's the most exciting batsman in the world. He does backflips when he scores hundreds. Great character. And, you know, you can't really blame him, therefore, for looking to cash in on his stock being high by firing out a few likes at Insta hotties. So there's this influencer account called Mia Zelu, this blonde girl, she's very good looking. And Rishabh has liked, I think it's nine of her photos. they all just say liked by Rishabh Pant which nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with appreciating a bit of art but there is one small problem which is that Miyazelu is AI generated so most of his likes are being received by some Kazakh bot farm operator some sweaty bloke in his pants in his mum's basement which do you remember like maybe you don't remember but when the internet was first getting big and there were loads of chat rooms and you would just chat to fucking random people or at least i did and people would always be like that's plainly just a bloke some sweaty fat bloke you think you're chatting to a girl your age and with ai i kind of think like that's come full circle again we're like back to that yeah yeah yeah this is the early days when people are being tricked into it again i i mean my main experience of that was chat roulette yeah where it was every every third person you spoke to was just a cock.

31:26It was always like a pot, a hairy pot belly and a small flaccid cock resting on it. Like Ian Botham, you know what I mean? On the stomach. And I always wonder why, but my theory... Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10.

32:01K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calci.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was. the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew.

32:35Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local croc store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croc store today. Three years that basically those guys, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs on Chattery Lads before you find your prints.

33:23It's basically just a sausage fest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like... Maybe they're gay guys just looking for each other. Maybe, yeah. In which case... My presumption was that they were looking for women. Yeah, I think some of them were. They wanted to... Would get naked for... With some like strange women who had found this flaccid potbelly cock. Yeah, yeah. Attractive. But I always wondered what it was like when they met each other. It's always like looking in the mirror and... It's just these two middle-aged men. Or is it like Game Respects Game? They're both just like, nice one, man. Moving on.

34:00A nod. Or is it more of a sort of like the conversations that like train spotters would have when they're... So you've seen any good ones today? When you really appreciate like the detail of it. Yeah. Or they're just like comparing notes and what they... If they've had any luck today or like plane spotters. Yeah. Seenly exciting ones. Speaking of train spots, actually, I'm reading... the autobiography of the guy who started Loaded magazine at the moment, James Brown's quite an interesting read actually. And he's talking about when he, he became quite amazed with Jason McAteer in the nineties. And Jason McAteer was describing like the groupie situation.

34:36And he was like, Jason McAteer was like, you don't understand this. The girls who like the Liverpool players are shagging. He was like, this is their hobby. They're like train spotters. They like, they write lists. It's like, it's like collecting stickers. He was like, this isn't just like women who want a rich husband it's just like that's what they do on weekends like a Trainspotter that's quite an interesting perspective on it I've never heard yeah like I knew there were like stories of like there were women who were sort of like kind of professional wags or like were just on that scene but I never really understood it in the sense that like it's like stamp collecting yeah you're collecting yeah it's kind of sweet yeah yeah he said like fair enough he said that everyone needs a hobby yeah exactly could be coins could be stamps could be Phil Babs cock but Jason McAteer was also saying apparently the Liverpool players had a rule that you had to keep your hotel room door open always and so he said you'd walk down the corridor and he said there was a time he was with a teammate and they walked down the corridor and one of their other teammates was getting a blowjob in the room and the woman giving the blowjob looked up and said to his mate like oh hi mate I haven't seen you since the cup final it's all just like it's kind of like Trainspotters it's quite sweet I don't know if that changed in the noughties and it became a bit more like black mix more about money and less about the art and I guess also that kind of thing has also gone online now like back in the 90s it was quite homespun you'd have to go and hang out at China Whites and slowly get to know them get chatted up by John Terry with his horrible chat up lines and now you just need to meet your mum's dad to be like it's my son's party yeah or you just get a dick pic from Conor McGregor maybe one out of ten of those works.

36:18Yeah. The romance is gone. Yeah. The love of the game has been replaced by transactional. Yeah. It's a bit like Pokemon cards or anything though. In the end, it just became currency. So anyway, good luck to Rishabh Pan. Tell you what though, you could say many things about Conor McGregor. Not a pubic hair on him in those pictures. No. He's quite waxed. Not manscaped, do you think? Oh. Sorry. You know what? The pennies dropped. Yeah. Speaking of transactional,

36:50I think he's a big manscaper. I think he uses a competitive brand. Yeah, I don't want to associate our sponsor with one of the worst people on Earth. Yeah, he's got nothing on him, but I think that could be whacked. I imagine someone like Novak Djokovic to be a bit more severe and earthy, some sort of hard scrub to get the pubes off. What's that thing, threading, that people do for eyebrows? It makes you pull them out. I was researching, how was body hair removed in ancient times? Because some societies had that as a custom. And it said, in ancient times, one highly abrasive depilatory paste consisted of slaked lime, water, wood ash, and yellow opium, which is arsenic.