Luke Littler’s driving test disaster | Extra shot

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1:06Terms apply. Learn more at go.mx. Get your tickets now for the Dog Stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Out there, just kill or be killed. Jacob Elordi. There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Bullen. Shoot first and inquire afterwards. Margaret Qualley. Ow. Okay, tough guy. And Guy Pearce. Arm up. The Dog Stars, directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters August 28th. Get tickets now. Rated R. Under 17, not admitted without parents. Welcome back to Extra Shot, the podcast spilling the funniest stories in sport this week. On the pod today, Luke Littler fails his driving test, star signings sacked for shocklifting, and Kevin Peterson's hotel humiliation.

1:52I'm Zach, JP Lockwood is in the house with me Hello mate, you alright? I'm good, it's just a termos today I've got a lot of room on the sofa today mate Might have a lie down Jack's off on holiday again So it's just a termos We're back in the cosy confines of the studio after our fishing trip last week Yeah, I'm a bit like I just wish we were back on the riverbank It was a fun trip It was, those fish didn't know what hit of the day Those fish, god Unfortunately the fish is still having a good time in the river because it was an unsuccessful trip. Even after the camera stopped rolling, the fishing did not improve.

2:28We had two possible nibbles. But it was actually, it was the current. It might have just been the rod getting stuck on a bit of weeds. But yeah, we'll be back. We'll be back for those fish. They're not going to know what hit us. We also had quite a funny evening after the recording. We kayaked, or I say kayaked. We had one kayak and one dinghy that was listing water. And we tried to make, well, we did make it across the river to the pub. Let's just get this right. Me and George rode you across while you sat in the boat. We tried to sail the dinghy, but it was going around in circles. So they had to drag us across the Thames in a kayak.

3:14And then back again at about 11 o 'clock at night. And Zach had a very Ernest Shackleton fishing jumper on for his voyage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we were going back after dark. George was very concerned that we were going to disturb the people that live by the river. So we were going across the Thames in a dinghy like the Viet Cong in the dead of night. But we made it. We did, mate. We did. And a particular highlight was waking up in the morning and seeing your tent covered in bird shit. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know what these birds were thinking because your tent was right beside mine and it was clean as anything and mine was literally coated in bird shit I just scrub it all off particular highlight of that trip yeah I was looking out for UFOs when we were on the boat coming back it was a nice clear night I think it was because you know we did a story a couple of weeks ago about Chael Felix's girlfriend who'd recorded a video of a UFO considered one of the greatest examples of UFO sighting and do you see he signed for Al Nasser or did last week unbelievably he's gone to yet another club at the age of 25 yeah I'm not entirely convinced that he didn't think he was joining Nasser just wanted to have a proper look around Area 51 really yeah I mean he's on what 400 grand a week so I'm sure he can afford his own flight up to space if he really fancies it Elon Musk rocket I'm imagining him rocking up his first day at Al Nasser and being like, so could you just, I was just wondering, where are the rockets kept?

4:49Is this, is this, this is the suit? Where's the launch pad? Yeah, where's the, where's the suit? This is not the normal one. Linking up with his friend El Ronaldo, isn't he? Yeah, true. We'll be having a lovely time over there, I guess. Yeah, strange, strange career. Anyway, it was a, it was a good week for Indian cricket fans. they got a very dramatic draw in the Test Series against England. We're going to talk about it a bit more later. But for India's long-suffering football fans, they haven't had a lot to cheer about in recent years. And they were on the hunt for a new manager recently. So Manolo Marquez, this Spanish guy, resigned last month.

5:34And the Indian FA, they decided to just stick the application form up publicly online. just put it on indeed.com we were briefly thinking about throwing our hat into the ring just doing the dream team duo manager sort of Eddie Howe Jason Tindall us two you've got a bit of Jason Tindall about you actually I'm thinking more like Alex Ferguson Steve McLaren type vibes you could be Mike Phelan yeah

6:08yeah we we didn't do it in the end no unfortunately i mean how budget just sticking it up online yeah i i would have thought that there is like some sort of special platform for yeah for like managerial appointments like do most clubs do that i don't know like surely there's like agents that go around sort of searching for the next managerial appointment rather than using fucking indeed.com yeah do you think they're just like dming people on linkedin yeah brentford are really bad for it as well that you've got here. What, LinkedIn? Yeah. Assistant first team coach is one. There are loads from Brentford, set piece coaches, stuff like that.

6:47Is this, because they ended up hiring their goalkeeping coach as the manager. Probably more affordable. Yeah. That is so budget and I read the job application online and it's like, must be a team player. I'm like, what is this? Like a fucking post-grad application for a marketing manager role. They're just at Loughborough Uni jobs. bed. Just looking for a new head coach for the Indian national team. Anyway, they stuck it up online, but there was a bit of an air of resignation in the FA headquarters as the deadline approached and the applications hadn't exactly been rolling in and they were left mulling over the CVs of ex-Blackburn boss Steve Keane and Harry Kewle, the former Liverpool midfielder.

7:37That was until an application popped up in their inbox from none other than former Barcelona gaffer Javi. Surely suspicions must have been roused as Javi. Well, you'd think so, but they seem to fall for it. You can imagine this wave of excited whispers going through the Indian FA office. And the FA's director, Subrata Poole, excitedly got in touch with the Times of India and briefed them about this new applicant for the job. The Times of India then put out an article heralding his application as a sign of the growing international appeal of Indian football. So back at the office, the staff started fantasizing about what sort of possession-based philosophy Xavi would implement for the team.

8:29Tick-a-tacka. Yeah, what long-guarded secrets of La Masia would he reveal to them? and then somebody at the fa twigged that all might not be quite as it seemed so they realized that the email application had come in from uh contact javi official fcb at gmail.com uh and yeah turned out i was a hoax from a 19 year old uni student massive props to that student it's good apparently they also got an application in from Pep Guardiola pep at yahoo.co.uk at AOL at Hotmail yeah I don't know I feel like Javi Javi is just on the very cusp of what might be possible I mean it's not likely but you know he did well at Barcelona, he won La Liga, but he didn't set the world alight.

9:35He's been out of work for a little while, so maybe. You could believe that. Yeah. But not Pep. Surely when Pep Guardiola's CV drops into your inbox, then you're starting to have a few doubts. You know the party starts when Pep drops into your inbox. I'd love to see the application, to see how the kids have done it. I can imagine him just running it through chat GPT or something like that. Apply for the India job, please. Yeah. It's a fun prank. I used to always, on transfer deadline day, try and prank the BBC Sport website. How much time do you have? This is what I was like. I didn't have that many mates, all right?

10:16No, I did. But it was, you know, summer holidays. I just emailing and they had like a lot. Just summer holidays emailing. I was talking about 12. I'd always send them in rumours like fake rumours being like oh my my cousin who works near Fulham's training ground just spotted David Trezeguet like coming coming in and I'm trying to remember who else did you ever get any response? nah never got on sadly but it was it was fun this guy's maybe I'll do it again this deadline day actually this student is a younger version of you who's been applying for the India job India have now appointed a guy called Khalid Jamil, who I'm sure he's a lovely boke and an excellent manager as well, but it's a slight step down from Pep or Xavi, really.

11:08We wish him all the best. Speaking of suspicious applications and strange goings on in football, it reminded me of a story a few years ago from Bahrain. So back in 2010, Bahrain were arranged to play a friendly with a team that they thought were the Togo international team. Yeah. So everything gets arranged and there's an agent that puts it all together and Togo fly over to Bahrain and play the match. Bahrain go on to win 3-0. And as you would, you announce it on your website. You send the result into FIFA. Humble the proud nation of Togo. The Bahrain are obviously over the moon that they've managed to beat Togo.

11:57A couple of days later, the Togo FA come out and say, we're really sorry, but we've never played you in this friendly. And we didn't know anything about sending a team over there. In fact, all of our team were either in Togo or the domestic clubs. So it turns out that Togo's former manager had arranged this match. They brought a load of random players over from Togo with all the kits, et cetera. And he's gone on to play this match, lose 3-0. And to make matters worse, he ended up getting, he actually done the exact same thing with the Egyptian national team two months earlier. Or he's just got some troop of mates, probably.

12:43I've just got this vision of him being on footy addict on his phone, just looking around for players in Togo and then flying them over. so it's a really strange one and you can imagine the Bahrain national team like sort of thinking they're in some sort of strange episode of Black Mirror at this point you know who the fuck have we played anyway the Togo national manager ends up getting banned for two years and it doesn't look like there's much of a motive online I've got this like impression in my sorry I've got this image in my head of him being like held up at gunpoint by you know some sort of like naughty chairman um or maybe he's got a uh maybe it's just some sort of huge match fixing scandal yeah so he was like former former manager so do you think he's just like he he was struggling to deal with it's sort of like when people struggle to go through a breakup yeah you know they're trying to you know maybe like trying to go on dates with someone who looks a bit like their ex he's just got a load of kits left over from his last trip in my mind he's got even like some sort of fetish for like weird international football matches that he likes to organise and like try and get away with but the fact he's done it twice it's actually pretty impressive to outfox like two national federations yeah it's mental and also just you know Egypt are like a fairly well established international side I wonder whether he had some kind of like insider at the Togo FA that he was still in contact with who was giving them like the official stamp or something.

14:15Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they said that they had all of the first, they had all the team sheet and then all of the players got changed like 15 minutes before. But it was too late to like properly check it all over. But still like such a random fucking. Yeah. It does make you realise somehow, sometimes how actual, actually budget, like the behind the scenes bit of football is. Like you sort of imagine it to be this like, super slick professional operation and it is just run by idiots sometimes. Like, yeah, I remember a few years ago there was a story about Jose Enrique who's a football agent now.

14:53He used to play for Liverpool and Newcastle. Now an agent and he represents Todd Cantwell. He was playing for Norwich. Yeah, Norwich. And he was basically going around trying to flog Todd Cantwell to clubs on Instagram. so but he'd gone to the there was some like fan account for Lecce the the Italian team and they just got a dm from Jose Enrique and he kept being like you're just in Tonkanwam here's a payment link so you just said you'd sent like his transfer mark link with like his stats is that really like if I'm a professional footballer I'm hiring my agent I want a bit more than them just like going around DMing clubs on Insta.

15:37Not like tailored outreach to like pinnacle of like football directors and CEOs. Not like DMs to the club. Yeah. The thing that gets me is if you look at this message as well, like the fact that none of it's in caps, it looks like one of those sort of Nigerian Prince scam messages. Hello, Luca. Or lowercase. Yeah. Please pay ASAP. Yeah. Yeah, it's... God. Makes you realise the lack of professionalism actually behind the scenes. Yeah, I think because we see like the shiny Premier League and everything's like, well, not even above board, but there's so much money flying around. I guess all the lower league and lower league, well, international fixtures, obviously.

16:19Yeah. I can't quite get it right. Yeah. So with the transfer window rolling on and a few ongoing sagas, you know, on everyone's lips, you know will Isak end up at Liverpool is Sesko going to end up on tying side with Newcastle I saw him doing some headers on Sky Sports News the other day looking very fit you know will Chelsea sign their 59th winger of the year yeah I saw a stat that I think it's the Ajax defender Hato is his name he was the 50th player Chelsea had bought in the past four years and Liverpool Liverpool's like 50th last player was in 2014 All clubs have their different strategies, Zach.

17:01They do. All right. Chelsea's, to be honest, annoyingly, I reckon Chelsea are actually going to be quite good this year. That's what we like to hear. Yeah. That is what we like to hear. So outside these sagas that are happening in England, that is nothing compared to what is going on in the League of Ireland with Kerry FC at the moment. So they have got their business done nice and early, which is always a good strategy. And they've made a couple of marquee signings. so they signed Shane Marduza from Zimbabwe who is an international defender who came through the ranks at Huddersfield and they've also signed a PSG goalkeeper you might remember him Matthias Randrumami who was on the bench for the Champions League semi-final against Man City a few years ago how could I forget God the way he warmed that bench

17:56haven't seen a bench that warm since but look that seems like pretty good signings for Kerry FC though the ex-PSG keeper you'd think that you know getting the business done nice and early couple of decent players coming in they're going to like sort of you know sort of challenge for the title and really make a push for it this year after arriving Shane told Kerry FC look I'm really looking forward to getting going I've been settling nicely since I've arrived and I'm really enjoying it so far. So, you know, it looks like things are going quite well. So when I imagine Shane sort of saying that he's settling nicely to Kerry, I imagine him sipping a Guinness in the local pub.

18:38I can imagine him hiking the peaks of the Killarney National Park or maybe he's checking out the local Kerry Bog Museum on a Sunday. what I didn't picture him was shoplifting from the local supermarket filling his cupboards with cheese and onion potatoes. So unbelievably Shane and Matthias have been caught shoplifting from the local branch of the Super Value in town and I had a look at Super Value online and just to paint a picture it's a bit like a local Iceland, which is not where you would expect. Yeah. It's like the biggest supermarket chain in Ireland, I think, or one of the biggest ones.

19:27You just wouldn't expect, you know, sort of Irish Premier League players to be shopping there, but let alone shoplifting there. And apparently they both set off the scanner at the door and were found with a load of staff this week. People are like, hold on a second, is that PSG sub-goalkeeper? I knew I recognised you from somewhere. You can't go under the radar when you've sat on the bench for their Champions League semi-fight. To make matters worse, and this story does get worse, the company that runs the supermarket is one of Kerry's sponsors. So that is like the definition of shit in where you eat.

20:10Yeah. and to make matters even worse Shane had only been with the club for four days so he probably literally just moved into his new place he's got to stock the cupboards I mean things are getting expensive cost a living when you've just joined a new club moved to a new town you've got to try and ingratiate yourselves with the local supporters that is not going to go that well I, yeah, so I've read that, you know, he got signed on the Monday, shoplifted on the Tuesday, got taken into the office on Wednesday and sacked on the Thursday. So, so Craig, Craig, David.

20:53So they've both been released. Kerry are back in the market for a goalkeeper and a centre back. And they have released the statement saying, unfortunately, their values and principles didn't match the standards of our club. Not exactly super values, are they? No. It also reminded me of a story of David De Gea when he got caught shoplifting at Man United. David De Gea did? He did, yeah. He was walking around Tesco Extra. And to be honest, I think we're all guilty of this. He'd been doing his weekly shop and he'd gone over to the Krispy Kreme counter. It was tempting, yeah. And I don't know whether he got a box or just one, but he ended up gnawing the Krispy Kreme around the supermarket and ended up getting stung on the way out and they took him to a CCTV room where he got dragged into their stop and search room.

21:43Oh, in the little back room. Yeah. That's a bit humiliating. I'm not sure what they're going to look for if he's eating it. Yeah. So you just make you pay up? Yeah. Or maybe check you haven't plugged a donut or something. What is it with goalkeepers and shoplifting? They like catching shit. Yeah. Safe hands. Yeah. Actually, I was reading the comments about that Kerry FC shoplifting story. And, you know, there was a big debate on the local Facebook pages about it. Some people were commenting, saying that it shows that League of Ireland players should be paid more, which may well be the case. But, you know, still, there's no need to shoplift.

22:26But, you know, people were having this conversation about Irish clubs being a bit tight. and someone posted a story about this Scottish goalkeeper, Jordan Moore, who after signing for Limerick got put up in a haunted convent. So he is back in 2016. He joined from Dundee United and he wasn't earning that much money. Sort of a young, young player and couldn't really afford to get his own room in the town. So the club offered him his place in what he thought was going to be like digs. But he recalled it. He said, I stayed in an old convent. The front garden was a graveyard. A nun had committed suicide in my room and her gravestone in the garden was overturned.

23:09One of the things written on it was room 106 and that was the room I was in. I heard stuff all the time. There was the sound of scraping on the walls inside the room every night. I remember there was one room that was locked. This guy would go in and look like a different person when he came out. He was definitely on something. sounds like he's living in some sort of haunted crack den you know we've been talking about going to do the pod somewhere haunted maybe we take a trip that is a good idea we've got a halloween special in the works where we're gonna go and stay somewhere yeah that to be honest that sounds too scary yeah i mean famously i am in touch quite closely with the with paranormal activity well that's why i'm like very against going up to anywhere too haunted what's what have you had experience if i walk into a room and like i can just feel it you know people are gonna think i'm gaga but what could you give me an example uh there was a room in my old nan's house and uh i used to absolutely fucking hate going in there and my aunt he said that when she bought the house and she was living with my nan uh then they bought the house a guy the guy previously had died in it and i was only like six or seven at the time but you didn't know at the time i didn't know at the time okay just stuff like that have you ever seen a ghost i can tell sketchy shit yeah um there is some there is some activity in this in this room in this room right now yeah

24:37imagine if my head just died in this room um so yeah i so you have seen a ghost i haven't it's unfortunate you don't have the same sort of sick terms for fish

24:54if i come off the christmas special sorry christmas special if i come off the halloween special and i've been what's the word if i've been taken over by a ghost then you will be extremely sorry yeah oh yeah i quite want to do it as sort of like um most haunted style we want to get like an infrared camera is it infrared what's it called night vision we want to get a night vision camera as I say we do it like the Blair Witch Project running through the woods maybe we'll find out where this haughty convent is but unsurprisingly Jordan Moore this keeper sacked off Limerick and went back to Scotland couldn't deal with the ghosts couldn't deal with the haunted crack house but perhaps Jordan wouldn't have been so bothered by all those pesky ghosts if he'd been able to stream all his favourite Scottish TV shows from back home.

25:47A couple of episodes of River City before bed and those nuns wouldn't even touch the sides. But sadly, they were not available in his region. And so he had to put up with this suicidal nun scraping her fingernails down his bedroom walls. But what Jordan should have done is download NordVPN, which allows you to switch your location to wherever you want. and it means that you can stream all your favorite shows and content wherever you are but they've been getting very popular lately jp you were saying you use your vpn almost every night i'm using it a lot yeah i think it's probably because the new football season is upon us yes that must be why yes um and you know you can use your vpn to stream all the sporting events that aren't available in your region uh including all the 3 p.m premier league kickoffs that aren't shown here and best of all the good people at nordvpn are offering upshot listeners an exclusive discount so if you go to nordvpn.com forward slash upshot this link will give you four extra months on their two-year plan and there's also no risk at all because nord have a 30-day money-back guarantee so you know you can try it out and if it's not for you then just get your money back i'm going going to download it straight away you bet you will yeah it's something that you will something's just clicked um and if you want to join jp in enjoying all the fruits of a vpn uh then the link is in the podcast episode description box get it out now um so yeah get that get that on your browser there was an all-time classic in the cricket this week england versus india I actually got really into it.

27:39It's kind of the first time that I've properly followed a cricket match. We had it on in the office. I feel like Jack's finally getting into you with it. Yeah, annoyingly it is. I'm going to be the black swan here. Yeah, well, yeah, it was very exciting. And it all came down to the final morning of play and the fifth test on Monday morning. England needed 35 runs to win the series. India needed four wickets to get a draw. and England eventually were left with only the injured Chris Wokes to bat. He came up with his arm in a sling, got injured on one of the earlier days. It was heroic stuff and they got really close.

28:16They ended up losing by six runs and drawing the series 2-2. But it was one of the great test match series. Sounds it, wow. One of the best I've ever seen. In my top two. It was in my top, yeah, top match I've ever watched. No, but I gather it was an all-time classic. That's what I've heard. But the entertainment out on the pitch wasn't quite enough for these two blokes. So we've got a clip here of these two fans, film for above, scrolling through an escort site on their phone as the day's play was concluded. I love how they've like double teamed it yeah yeah do you think I don't know is it sort of like if you're on Hinge or Tinder or something and you're showing your mates I think that oh he's just actually grabbed his cock oh dear I reckon they both got a bit of full beer horn and they're like right before this absolute El Classico finishes we need to pick up yeah yeah yeah yeah that was it was actually from an earlier test it was it happened at Lord's earlier in the series but clearly they hadn't been fully satisfied by the action they'd seen at the crease.

29:34Sometimes you need a little bit more, Zach. Yeah. One man who was noticeably absent from the TV coverage of this series was Kevin Peterson. He's normally a bit of a fixture of the punditry, apparently. Although I wouldn't have been too surprised to spot KP swanning around the Oval Pavilion on Monday dressed in his full cricket whites because we did our pod about KP. It came out last week, two-parter. And after that, we received this story from a guy called John, aka at Seal Clubber on YouTube. So he said, I worked in the hotel where Kevin stayed when the 2008 Champions League was on. Champions League final, this is.

30:20KP wore a full Chelsea kit with shorts and socks, the full fucking kit like he's John Terry in Munich, just to watch the match at the hotel bar. On the back of his shirt, it had KP1. What a fucking legend. You can't be doing that. What? A legend? If you're over the age of 10, that is criminal to be in a hotel bar or any bar. Mate, I still go to fucking Chelsea matches with my boots on. With your boots? Oh, mate. Come on. I don't know. I don't... I think shirt fine. Shirt fine. Full kit in a bar. even football shirts can be a bit naff at football but I kind of really rate that commitment I don't think so with football shirts I saw Rory Jennings I did see that as well I disagree to be honest I think like for me if it's like a classic one like the newest one that comes out I know we were just talking about yeah you just been saying about what kit you want to get I probably wouldn't wear it out to, yeah.

31:25If it was like a classic one, like an old England shirt at an England match, I'd get that. But like, if you're out, if you're a missus on a Sunday and you're wearing like, I don't know, Middlesbrough is away kit from 94 or something. You don't think it's nice? I don't know, it's quite fashionable now. Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house.

31:53And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calci.com slash regulatory. Imagine buying your kid a toy only to find the batteries aren't included. or buying furniture, but missing the tools to build it.

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