Matt Le Tissier: a playboy gone potty (part one)

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1:09Laminya Mall steps into McDonald's, looks left, sees Pulisic, looks right, sees Jimenez. Gives a nod to Ronaldinho in the corner with a FIFA World Cup meal. Ronaldinho sees Son in the booth Son finds Beckham going for extra Big Mac sauce He's got Davies at the table just behind him Davies going for his collectible cup A steal by Henry Who pulls his own collectible cup Collect one of nine legendary cups With a FIFA World Cup meal At participating McDonald's for a limited time While supplies last All rights reserved 2026 McDonald's At FIFA World Cup 2026 In the 1990s Matt Letizia was the ultimate cult hero A Malibu swigging everyman with magic feet He ran a strip club, got headbutted on dance floors, and guzzled KFC buckets every night.

1:53But then, things got a bit weird. In his second act, Letiz warned of communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and finally withdrew his consent to be governed. This is the story of Matt Letizia. Makes you think. Welcome back to the Upshot. I'm Jack. Hello, comrade. Hi, Zach. Hello, Jack. How are you? Hi, George Wild. Hi. How are you doing? Wonderful. Back on the pod where you belong. Great to be here. To discuss a real game of two halves, this one. I mean, I think the intro alludes to it. I mean, Matt Letizia, Le God, as Southampton fans called him, he was just like the ultimate cult hero.

2:36Sort of lads mag favourite. Yeah, which is funny. When you look at him now, it's hard to picture him as sort of a fixture of FHM. the tabloids. I don't think he was on the cover. You said, but he's not really changed that much his look, has he? No, not really. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think it's just because it's, because it's sort of his style of play and his actually like surprisingly scandalous, uh, private life as well. Yeah. I mean, I thought he was sort of, yeah, Malibu and Cokes and stuff and nights out, but he, uh, yeah, he got up to his fair share of sort of shagging and scrapping in Southampton nightclubs.

3:16Yeah. Yeah. The most similar sort of like modern player that's tempting to compare him to is Grealish in the sense that there's that like cult hero band. You know, when there was that big campaign to get Grealish to start for England. Yeah. That was a bit of the tone around Letizia, right? Where he was like this, why are England not picking him? But he, I would argue, is a lot more naturally talented than Grealish. And obviously he stuck with the one club man thing. Yeah. And then obviously there's the second act that we talked about. Which I guess a lot of people will... If they know him, it would just be for that now.

3:48Yeah, people of a certain age know him for that only, I guess. Yeah, I mean, he's sort of been the voice of reason, really, in a world that, you know, a lot of people just take the information that they give for granted, but you need sort of free thinkers like him to really challenge the status quo and uncover what are really some quite big communist takeover conspiracies and such like. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of sheeple. There are a lot of sheeple out there, yeah. And people just don't do their own research. which we have done for this pod yeah so I think part one is going to largely centre on his sort of like freewheeling partying and football and then part two the tone is going to shift quite dramatically especially towards the back end as he takes on the sinister forces that control all of us and Jack will metamorphose into a lizard.

4:42David Icke is we've got his book on display as well he's watching on in approval. Oh, Nike. Should we get into it? Let's do it. Yeah. Yeah. So Matt Letizia was born in Guernsey in 1968. So Guernsey is one of the Channel Islands. It's closer to France than it is to England. And, you know, it's very picturesque. It's pretty harbors, but, you know, it's quite cut off from the mainland. And in the 70s, when Matt was growing up there, it was only sort of crackly TV connection to the UK. So you're quite, quite isolated, really. he started out playing football for Guernsey schools where he was spotted by Southampton who decided to take him on as an apprentice when he was 16 which meant obviously moving to the mainland very exciting for a young lad from Guernsey was that his first trip to the mainland?

5:34Probably not probably I think he had left but I mean Southampton is like the one of the big towns if you if you're from Guernsey does he speak French or anything though? No, there is, I forget the name of the language, Guernoir or something, which is like a local dialect. But I think sort of the older generations would speak it, but not so much the younger ones. Have any of us been to the Channel Islands? Been to Jersey. Okay, because we're making it sound like the Wicker Man. I was literally thinking of Wicker Man. No links to the mainland, the North Island. We're going to get some angry messages from Guernsey residents.

6:11Tax exiles. yeah no i mean i'd love to go live show it does look beautiful yeah but yeah so matt moves over to the mainland when he's 16 and obviously that comes with some temptations so he he recalls it in his book he says i was getting 26 quid a week and it was all going on the fruit machines they didn't exist on guernsey and the bright lights were one hell of an attraction i ended up losing big time in the amusement arcades. Because they didn't even have fruities. It really does sound like the Wicked Back. It makes him sound a little bit like a fly going to the light bulb. Just like the fruit machine.

6:52Yeah, that sounds bleak at the best of times, but having spent quite a bit of time in Southampton, something particularly bleak. You went to uni in Southampton. I did, yeah. 26 quid a week in the 1970, 80s, I guess this is. Yeah. It's quite a lot of money to be. As a 16 year old probably is. Pissing away. Pissing away on the Penny Fools machines. One-hour bandit. They weren't actually his only vice though. So in 1987, when Matt's 19, him and the rest of the youth team go on this tour to Singapore, which Letiz describes as dominated by sex, drinks and fights. Admittedly, not for him. because he didn't drink.

7:37Presumably, he's a shag. You coming out tonight, Latisse? Spent all my money. So what, he didn't drink at this point? No. How old is he? 19. Quite a common theme. I mean, I wouldn't say he's like the hardest boozer we've talked about, but quite a common theme with these footballers who end up being quite boozy is they start quite late. Like George Best started quite late. Yeah. Made up for it. He did make up for it. Yeah. Matt, he wasn't entirely on the straight and narrow, though. Because he did on this trip discover KFC bargain buckets. And he'd sneak out of his room every night at 1am to get himself a bucket.

8:14Yeah, didn't have them on Guernsey either. Probably not. Maybe a wimpy. I feel like we've got to go to Guernsey now. I mean, I think it's quite modern, lovely place. I'm sure it is. But one night on this trip to Singapore, Matt is gorging on the Colonel's finest wings and coleslaw in the early hours when he's woken up by a teammate who orders him out of their room because he's brought someone back. Matt recalls it in his book he says the lad got more than he bargained for when he took a woman back to his room only to learn the truth when it was too late. And is woman in inverted commas? Woman is in inverted commas I think it wasn't a woman.

8:54Is that a thing in Singapore? I sort of associate it to the lady boys in Thailand right? Yeah. That is the correct term. You've been looking at me like I've just said the fucking N-word. Didn't know we used slurs on this podcast. I think in Thailand that isn't how they like to be referred to. Do you think Matt's just heard that and sort of thought Singapore, basically the same? Yeah. Because it's an unnamed player. We're saying this is bollocks. Yeah, I think his mate shagged a girl, but Matt's got that thing of being like, definitely, definitely a ladyboy. Once you're looking for it. Well, I guess that was the running gag of the whole tour, once that guy shagged that girl.

9:31Yeah, you can see there are like, you see the early seeds of his later conspiracy theories coming through. He questions everything. Yeah. Including the gender of his friend's bedfellow. Yeah. Do we have any clue on who it might be? The lad. No, he doesn't. Francis Benali. He's a good mate of Letizia, isn't he? I don't think it is him. It definitely wasn't the captain, I think, because apparently in his book he says that the player who it was confided in the captain. And then the captain proceeded to tell the entire squad. as he would I like the way he's gone to the captain the leader for some pastoral care so when does he sort of crack into the Southampton first team so he signs his first pro contract with Southampton when he turns 18 and actually doesn't get off to the best start so his first season 87-88 he only scores two goals which he puts down to his gambling and spending 10 to 11 hours in the Sluka club after training what that'll do it because training finishes at lunchtime and then you're there till closing on the fruities and snooker clubs I find them very depressing I don't mind them I love a snooker I find them really depressing I don't really like snooker it's depressing for you I think it's quite nice you just have beers and play snooker at the same time 10 to 11 hours yeah exactly but it's in the 89-90 season that Matt becomes a regular for the Saints uh scores 24 goals that season from midfield and wins the young player of the season um Southampton actually finished seventh that year and kind of looks like the sky's the limit for young Matt and this Southampton team but actually ends up being his highest ever league finish um and actually at the end of that season Terry Venables Tottenham Hotspur come in to try and buy him and Matt gets as far as agreeing terms with them but changes his mind at this last minute because his fiancee Kathy says she doesn't want to live in London right I think he was the Spurs fan as well wasn't he oh was he yeah so he was actually keen on that occasion to move yeah he talks a lot about idolizing Glenn Hoddle I guess it's kind of similar similar players yeah apparently Hoddle resented the comparison yeah which i guess we'll come on yeah we'll come on too he sort of out hoddles hodl in the end yeah in many respects yeah in every respect but also terry venables would have been the perfect manager for matt letizia yeah just like cavalier free flow and go and do your thing sort of manager that's that's a real one yeah i mean he yeah he does stick with kathy she's for a bit she's his for a bit we'll come on to uh she's his childhood sweetheart actually from from guernsey oh no No wonder she doesn't move to London.

12:22Yeah. Well, she took on the Fruities in Southampton. The Bright Lights of London would be too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Following season, though, Matt has another good year. He scores 23 goals. But that season, the Saints really struggle, which, you know, kind of sums up his career in a way. Like, he's this mercurial talent, but he's part of a team that are kind of limited, really, battling relegation a lot of the time. but he is the star of it yeah I mean the whole thing's built around him it's mental because he's scoring so many goals but he's the main man so he had besides Spurs he had several other clubs who came in for him, Chelsea United, Blackburn and when Liverpool try and sign him, so Graham Souness is Liverpool manager in the mid 90s, they try and sign him he refuses to even speak to them and he says later I didn't fancy living up north, I prefer to live where I didn't need a translator later.

13:20Burned your bridges there. I mean, I guess it's just a gag, but yeah, he just does not want to get out of there. And obviously this has always been like a big bit of speculation. Why was, why did this guy stay at one club when he could have played for almost anyone? Um, he says firstly that he felt he owed Southampton and their fans loyalty because they sort of looked after him as a youngster and brought him through, took him, took him to KFC. Um, and he also felt this duty to keep them up because if he left he was worried they'd get relegated and I actually think this is more the reason he liked the freedom he got at Southampton because he's the main man and he doesn't have to do any tracking back any fitness work he doesn't have to fit into any tactical system the whole team is just like give it to Latisse and he'll do his thing it's basically what Grealish the feeling around Grealish when he's at Aston Villa and then going to Man City and having it just drilled out of him Yeah.

14:15I mean, what happened to Greenwich is what he feared. I kind of wonder if it's more about like, I'm going to have to do fitness drills. Yeah, that's, yeah, you feel like it's more that, right? Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it's probably for the best that he stayed because he was about to have a great season at Southampton when he turned down Liverpool because Southampton appoint Alan Ball as manager and he gathers the team together in January, his first training session, and he puts Matt right in the middle of the park and he just says to everyone, if you get the ball, ask yourself, can I get the ball to Tiss he'll do the rest yeah I think there are managers who that is like the level of tactical instruction especially in the 90s yeah sounds easy doesn't it yeah and it must be really fun having a player like that where you're like just give it to him it works though he scores 25 goals that season and keeps Southampton up on the final day that is prolific for a midfielder he's sort of like attacking midfielder kind of yeah like very attacking like I think you're using your strikers just to hold the ball up for him.

15:15Getting a bit tactical here. But also, so he's this technical genius. He can dribble, he does tricks, he's got amazing touch and ball control and passing, scores these ridiculous long-range goals, never tap-ins, not interested, lethal from the penalty spot, and then obviously he's super loyal to his team. So those are the ingredients that make him this cult hero. I saw him described as the everyman genius, the bloke who can roll out of bed and nutmeg an international defender before banging it in from 25 yards. I mean, that's sort of the most romantic idea of a footballer. Yeah. Needless to say, the Saints fans embrace him.

15:53They call him Le God. There's a chant I've got here. Do you want to listen to a chant? Yeah, please. The pitch! The pitch! I'm out of the pitch! He gets the ball, he gets the pitch! I'm out of the pitch! The pitch! The pitch! I'm out of the pitch! He gets the ball, he takes the pitch. Sure. Fun. There was some good graffiti on the Southampton docks around this time as well that said, Letis for England, please. Polite. Yeah, you don't get graffiti like that now, do you? There's an air of desperation to that graffiti that you don't see very often. Please. It's just underlined. Yeah, but I mean, we'll come on to the England stuff because he is pretty much overlooked by England.

16:31But meanwhile, he just keeps banging them in. So in the 94-95 season, he scored 30 goals for Southampton. One of them was goal of the season against Blackburn, which we watch it now we'll link to it in the show notes he basically gets the ball about 40 yards out beats a defender and then lashes it into the top corner

16:58he's going for goal again oh you can see all the blackburn fans just applauding him yeah just what Applauding, yeah. So a good backstory to this goal. The story goes, the legend goes, that this was goals against Blackburn and Tim Flowers was the Blackburn keeper who used to be his teammate at Southampton. And supposedly, before the game, during the warm-up, Letizia sidled up to him. And Tim Flowers had a towel hanging on the net in the goal. And apparently he went up to him and goes, see that towel? I'm going to hit that later. And when you watch the goal, the ball does literally hit the towel.

17:33that's the legend among fans I'd say I couldn't find any record of Tim Flowers saying it but yeah surely if he says that take the towel down that's an admission of defeat yeah but you see Flowers when the goal goes in he's just like shaking his head and laughing because what can you do mad goal yeah I guess if you thought you could literally predict that you're going to hit the towel from 40 yards out you can understand why later he's sort of like believes his critical faculties are a bit, he's a bit more perceptive than others. Yeah. He sees things. He could see that a communist takeover was coming.

18:09Even then. Maybe it still is. Tim Flowers couldn't see it. Didn't know what hit him. Anyway, it's not all smooth sailing though because, you know, Matt Letitia has a naughty streak. Perhaps it was those fruit machines they'd given him this taste for taking the odd risk. And in April 1995, Southampton are already safe from relegation. They're 10th, in fact. they've done well and so he decides to make a bit of extra wonga on the side by indulging in spot fixing so i've actually got clip here of matt describing his little scam he used to be a bookie about 300 yards and a dell and i used to go in there and back myself to score the first goal it was quite good odds actually um nobody batted an eyelid do you know i mean as long as you weren't betting on your team to lose no one batted an eyelid so anyway i used to do that and then flashcard and he went he said i said you're at spread betting i went no i've got a clue he went well you can bet on anything now he said you can bet on corners free when the first free kick's gonna be when the first throw is gonna be and he went well he said my mates have got spread betting accounts he said uh he said we're on telly against wimbledon next week he said and they can bet on the first throw in in a game he said if you you know if we get a throw in really early they'll make loads of money from it he said they'll probably drop you a few quid so i was like how does that work he went well we just have to get the kick off from kick off you just boot the ball out of play I was like that sounds pretty simple he went it is simple he said but the bookies are stupid what are they doing that for so so anyway so we get to Sellers Park where Wimbledon were playing I said what way do you like to kick in the second half and he went oh he said we like to kick towards our fan you can kick that way in the second half if you let us have kick off in the first half and he went yeah alright so that was it Before we'd even flipped the coin, I knew we was having the kickoff.

20:00So we get the kickoff. Gordon rolls the ball back to me. And just as I'm about to strike it, it just takes a little bobble. And at that point, my heart sank. Because right from the moment I hit it, I thought, fuck it, that ain't enough. And I've duffed that a little bit. And this is never reaching the touchline. And honestly, for the next 60 seconds, you see me and Gordon Watson running around like blue-ass flies trying to get the ball. Fuck your boot out of play. so apparently they get it out just on the 72nd mark which is the exact moment where they don't make any money or lose any because the longer it goes after the more you lose at the spread betting okay yeah well he didn't place the bet at the place no his mates had spread betting accounts who put it on and yeah they were all in on it what are the bookies thinking they're thinking you're not gonna be match fixing i don't think it's for you these yeah i mean i'm pretty sure some people have gone to jail for spot fixing yeah well apparently so he made these admissions in his book right and i think after that uh they briefly like people were calling for the police to investigate it and like eventually they just said obviously this is not in the public interest and it's a waste of time but it nearly got himself in some trouble yeah is this where his suspicion of the state began yeah it definitely still happens though do you think i i actually know of a no other example which it was i can't can't say who it was but some some mates of mine knew somebody who played for a team an unknown team uh what level yeah it was a lower league team who got drawn against a premier league team in the fa cup or the league cup and they basically said i'm gonna get booked whoa yeah so i mean it's easy easy to do right yeah and but also fucking dumb because if you get caught doing that, like, you'll never play football.

21:51Like, those Pakistani cricketers went to jail for it. But, I don't know, this was obviously had a different tone. It's Latisse. It's what he does. It's the 90s. One club man. Loves Malibu. The way he tells it, you are quite, like, on his side through the story. That's the thing that's a real shame is because he's really funny and just seems, like, nice and normal, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like his politics. Well, I think maybe at that point he was and then, yeah, things took a sharp turn, We'll come to the end when, can you separate the art from the artist? Because I think you can. But yeah, he got away with that spot fixing one.

22:26Off the pitch, Matt's life was similarly chaotic. So in the mid-90s, he opens a nightclub in Southampton called Celebration Plaza. It's sort of a joint venture with this comedian and radio DJ. It's not a very good name for a nightclub, is it? Have you been, George? I don't think Celebration Plaza was still in business. It sounds like a classy joint, though. Yeah, they lost their license for reasons we'll get onto. Yeah. Quite good reasons. Apparently, from the start, it was not really... Business wasn't flying. Okay. By the way, what a sort of romantic 90s thing for the club hero to own the local nightclub.

23:04Yeah. Yeah. Was he behind the bar, like, pulling pints? Probably doing Malibu and Cucks. Maybe less romantic when he decides to introduce strippers to boost a bit of custom. Sure. Which does work. So it's a strip club? It was not a strip club when they took it over. It was a nightclub. And then they decided to introduce naked dancers to drum up a bit more custom. I kind of feel like you're either a strip club or you're not, though. Once you make that leap, you're not going to have hen do's still coming in, are you? Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. It does work, though. It does manage to boost the tendencies a little bit, but not without some unintended consequences.

23:40so on april 23rd 1997 the sun ran a front page exclusive titled matt les splitier so it revealed that soccer ace matt has walked out on his wife and kids and been seen out on the town with a teenage beauty ah so the end of what's her name kathy kathy yeah sadly the lovely Kathy. So the article has a quote from what they describe as a friend of Matt who says, it's an open secret in Matt's nightclub that he's very close to a 19 year old girl called Maria, who is often seen on his arm. She's pretty and dark haired, but not an absolute stunner. What's the need for that? She's just needlessly mean, really.

24:28So I think if this friend of Matt is giving those quotes to the son then yeah do you think maybe he's a friend of kathy too that's just that's a friend of the family yeah or as a voicemail yeah more likely um and yeah the friend actually can't have been too close to matt because the next day the son run a follow-up article that reveals that matt's new girlfriend is actually called angela oh so she's not in a cool career no i don't think they made that quote up. Or there's another woman. Yeah, who knows? Did Angela slash Maria work in the club? That's not clear. I'm not sure whether she worked there or they met at the club.

25:10I was thinking maybe Maria's like a stage name. Yeah. But I don't think she did work there. Do we know if Angela's an absolute stunner? Maybe that would... Well, she's described as the sexy teenager. What a lovely pair of words to put in a national newspaper. That's fucking weird. So they introduced her to the readers. This is the quote from The Sun. This is the sexy teenager, Angela Nabulsi, who has stolen the heart of married soccer star, Matt Letizia. The millionaire player, a father of two, publicly cuddled the teenager and happily showed the world she is his new girl. You just want to be like, stop saying teen.

25:49Sexy adolescent. Yeah. Why, because she's 19? She's 19. There is actually, I read somewhere else So there's a slightly more romantic story behind their meeting that they'd met at this nightclub. And Matt discovered that she was a teenager, also a teenager, but she was a Southampton season ticket holder. She got the under 20 wildest ticket on concessions. I say season ticket holder, my granddad's the season ticket holder. but he then after meeting her he then went to the Southampton ticket office and found out her seat number and left a note for her on the seat which is quite sweet that's quite sweet I found out what school she went to I was going to say there's an undertone it's sweet until you remember teenager hang on how old's Matt Atissia at this point he can't have been that much older born in 68 what year are we in this was 90 he's mid 20 98 I think so okay he's 20 no he's 30 He's 30.

26:50He's 30. Yeah, that's a bit much. It's a bit weird. Yeah. That's quite what he just left a note being like, I wonder what it said. Have you been to the snooker club? Meet me by the fruit machine. Meet me by the fruities. Yeah. Have you noticed there's a communist take? So shortly after this story comes out, Matt and a few teammates decide to go on holiday to Tenerife so that he can clear his head a little bit. But the son nicely decided to send a photograph to track him on this trip. And he says later that the newspaper, they were hoping for pictures of me with another girl. But I was and still am very much in love with Angela.

27:29So they got nothing. And he's got a point that they don't have anything on him. So during the trip, the son, you know, they're scrambling around for a story. And they end up running one called Night of Latisse, where they are scraping the barrel for scandal. so these are some quotes from the story Matt looked like a man without a care as he joined a group of teammates on the bender by 11pm they were in O 'Neill's club bar staff had to constantly empty rubbish bins which filled with bottles as the stars did their best to drink the cup dry so emptying of bins meant to indicate lots of booze I guess so staff were forced to load dishwashers as the Prem stars guzzled back drink after drink emptying bins that's part of the job that's your job as a you will be doing that every night it's a nightclub they were forced to empty bins all night forced to wipe down the bar forced to clean glasses in barrels at the end of the night bar staff had to sweep the floor

28:38while the drunken stars retired to their beds do you think the source for this was an angry bartender yeah i've been emptied a bit all fucking nice the malibu and coke probably are doing more kept up to count in their change um yeah the article continued the lads were still boozing away when the bar shut at 5am they staggered back to their hotel as dawn broke matt did not look much much the worst for wear he even helped some of his pals stay upright so he wasn't even drunk it's quite a late night, 5am they've put not in capitals like that scandal, like Matt did not look much the worse for wear do you reckon that's like his publicist or lawyer or something has got to them and been like, you need to make clear or is it like, is the scandal that he's able to drink till 5am and be absolutely fine yeah implying he's done something wrong or are they changing it around and now they're shaming him for yeah but he's not boozing enough yeah after this the the son carry on tailing Matt and his new girlfriend and they they run a story called let this let miss let kiss which details their quite lovely sounding holiday in Spain so there are these are the scandalous details that they they managed to dig up the couple spent afternoons locked in their room behind a do not disturb sign before sharing a pair of Walkman earphones to listen to the Spice Girls and Phil Collins tapes all the while sipping sangria and doing crosswords that does sound like proper lovebirds googling on a sunbed but also I feel like maybe there's a bit of the 19 year old and the 30 year old there it's like they're listening to Spice Girls and Phil Collins sangria crosswords it's a relationship built on compromise and it goes well So a few months later, the son runs another story called Matt Lettice to Wed His Miss, which details their engagement.

30:45So is he already divorced? He, yeah, Kathy's out of the picture. Unfortunately, two months later, they run another story called Lettice Kicks Out His Miss. You see, they're sort of building on a theme here with these headbands. It's a gift of a name. Yeah, it is really. are we thinking maybe that's where he's distrusted the media comes in he's just very annoyed at these these rhyming headlines yeah um it could be yeah so what's the this uh this story alleges that matt has dumped angela and ordered her out of their love nest because the affair has been damaging his performance on the pitch right um has it i don't know about the on the pitch but they they do split up at that point um but get back together later they end up marrying in 2008 oh right after quite a long separation still together i believe so yeah yeah imagine buying your kid a toy only to find the batteries aren't included or buying furniture but missing the tools to build it frustrating right now imagine the exact same feeling but you're paying way more that is what buying business software usually feels like fragmented disconnected and incredibly expensive Odoo completely changes that.

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32:44Is there any other battery with Power Boost ingredients inside? No, just Duracell. Goats only trust goats, because they're built different. And Messi only trusts Duracell. So good, so good, so good. New summer arrivals are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Get ready to save big with up to 60 % off brands like Rag & Bone, Levi's, Adidas and Free People. Join the Nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favourite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was the one. age is just a number what about Kathy and the kids you'll be glad to hear that the son has done a story on her as well so they do a story titled Mrs.

33:38Lettice finds love with Mr. Codwhopper love cheats soccer stars ex fools for a chip shop boss oh chip shop boss that's nice yeah is Codwhopper his real name I hope so I don't even get Codwhopper is that like what's Whopper is a Codwhopper like a fish and chips arrangement that I've not heard of. Do you think it's the neighbour of a fish and chip shop? Maybe. You know they quite often have like the cod father or something. Or is it nominative to terminate? Is this the sort of thing we're going to get a message people, you don't know what a fucking cod whopper is? Do you think you, I think you might have run a fish and chip shop called the cod whopper.

34:15Okay, well let us know if you know what that is. I feel like I'm going to be accused of being out of touch for this but we will be. No, I'm often in the chippy and I've never had a cod whopper. I don't want to be portrayed like Peter Mandelson you know when he Peter Mandelson did the like public appearance at a chippy and he's getting his fish and chips and then he goes oh and I'll have some of that and points at the mushy peas and goes is that guacamole you've never been in a chippy in your life haven't you mate that's great anyway back on the pitch my mum actually did that the other way round in sticks and sushi she took a big old chopstick full of wasabi and thought it was mushy peas that's excellent Did she eat it?