Neymar inherits a billion dollars | Extra shot

0:02Turn it up! Storm has zero sugar and 200mgmg of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life. The proud nation of Brazil has given the world many wonderful things. Caipirinhas, hot air balloons, that vanishing spray referees use for free kicks. But nothing has shaped the world in the 21st century more than the Brazilian butt lift. Unfortunately, this week, the noble bunda has come back to haunt the people of the great Brazilian nation. as three wonder kids saw their footballing dreams destroyed after a dalliance with the porn star behind Ass Parade.

0:45Also coming up on today's show, Neymar inherits a billion dollars from a dead man he's never met. And Luminum Al ships in 70 Playboy bunnies. My name is Jack. Hello, Zach. Hi, JP. Hi, fellas. Full fucking house. We're all back together. We are. Let's talk about porn stars. Zach came back early from his holiday. especially when he heard when I heard the headline for this week's I heard the word Brazilian bunda and he was on the next Ryanair like a fucking greyhound you guys having a good international break? England played very well last night I watched the second half I'm not watching I'm out World Cup's Eurozone for me did you switch off after the disappointing Andorra game?

1:28yeah stadium is after it's coming home it's coming home did we play well? we played really well yeah yeah yeah it's like the first time that they've actually looked quite good under Tupul and we should support him really shouldn't we judging well we've sold us a lot of patrons sort of built a career around him and his extracurricular activities he's our muse I guess you'd call him yeah it would be bad for business if he gets sacked before the World Cup for us so yeah true I was thinking maybe we should do a World Cup song next year got one England fucking win against Serbia be recording our own song you saw that finish from every concert it's coming home that's three lines on a shirt this morning yeah we could do a song that'd be fun Three Lions Might need a bit of auto-tune Yeah Yeah I reckon we should do it Yeah I'm up for it The one I was chatting to Friends of mine Here in The band Squid And we were saying That we should have done A Fairytale of New York Version of Like a football version Of Fairytale of New York Yeah that'd be great That's kind of perfect Because it's going to be in New York Oh fuck The finals in New York Now we're in The Fairytale of New York Is England In the final Our own Pete Dockett He's getting excited Isn't he can you imagine how our non-English listeners feel right now our Irish listeners I mean look all I'd say to our Irish listeners is Armenia are a really good team you know I mean the giants of Armenia prior to beating Ireland this week Armenia had let in 21 goals in about 6 or 7 games and they'd only scored in one game and that was their other game against Ireland I think it was the last time they'd kept a clean chief was the last time they played sorry sorry to my Irish fans but to cheer you up we are doing it we've Tuesday our episode about the Saipan dramas coming up.

3:36Yeah. So that's nice. Another World Cup. That went all right. Yeah, no, it did. But like, that was about as good as it got. Sorry to Irish. Finally clear. New York's definitely the tune to do it for. Yeah. It's like a Maguire. Hurricane is the captain. He loves scoring goals. I feel like you've already written it. You've got an England show. The boys in the... Yeah. What's the block... Is it block H? The, like, really hardcore England fans. The boys in the block H. Da, da, da. We're singing three lines. Yeah. And the gulls were going in. Two cool... Two cool boys. Boys. Obviously, we'll tighten that up.

4:25Do we... Are we... Do we want to keep this more secret? Are we... We've just announced it on a podcast, mate. We're going to get ripped off. The IP is going to get nicked. Yeah, I don't know. Someone else might buy up the rights from... Shane McGowan. Shane McGowan, yeah. I think he's brown bread, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he is. Make your Patreon episode. Yeah. Anyway. So, yeah, good international break. Love it. Just a bit, yeah. so it's been a bit of a rollercoaster week this week for Lamin-Yamal I know you boys have been watching a load of World Cup qualifiers but Spain hammered Turkey 6-0 Arsenal's Moreno got a hat trick you might remember Arteta stuck him up front last year yeah yeah yeah that always seemed like a bit of a joke at the time that was well I mean there must be method in his madness because clearly the Spain manager came out this week and said he's world class and And our Yamal got two assists as well.

5:32So good result all round. And, you know, after all that excitement, you might be forgiven for, you know, maybe forgetting a thing or two. Anyway, it turns out after the game on the coach, the airport, Lamine realised that he's lost his passport. And God bless the internet, because obviously someone's managed to film the whole thing and we've got a great clip of it here. so what this is team bus this is team bus straight after the game just realizing that he's lost it he's frustrated he's like fuck fuck fuck going through a suitcase get my wheelie out get my wheelie out it's not my wash bag are they at the airport yeah obviously the coach driver's involved this was it this is in the like stadium underneath the stadium he's now leaving to get into a minibus he's on the phone to his mom telling him he's not going to fly home call the embassy and now he's just absolutely gutted but like we obviously always say he's i mean he is a teenager he's got braces yeah but like we always say he's he's like just living the standard teenager this is straight out of the textbook of teenage yeah yeah that's all of the yeah um there was a really really good caption on insta from uh treku artist 95 trek artista trek artista 95 i should say uh And I'm going to read this in a Northern accent.

6:52A lot of my mates are Northern as well, and they're going to absolutely slew me for this. A lot of my mates are Northern. Loads of Northern mates. I've got one. Lamin Yemal there, losing his passport in Turkey. Screams Big Dave in Magaluf. Steaming two hours kip all week. If that, red raw, burnt to a crisp. Remember showing his passport to bouncers in Red Lion. Not seen it since. That was three days ago. Fly homes in four hours. British Embassy's not far off being fooled Arse is going shit and it is, lad I've got work in morning, me I mean, losing your passport is your classic, lad It's a great leveller It's good to know it happens to him as well It's good you've got Northern Mates as well because that might be considered offensive, that accent otherwise I've been ripped online many a times and I'm sure I will again I mean, join the club Sorry, what happened?

7:48so he couldn't fly back with the squad? He didn't fly home with the squad but it didn't turn out that it was entirely lad's holiday vibe so he wasn't on the 5.45 flight home via Bratislava. He ended up getting a private jet back to Spain. So it's not a great leveler. Can you fly in a private jet without a passport? If you're living in your mouth. I'm presuming you can go to the embassy and get something sorted real quick. I guess you don't have to stand in a queue. Yeah. Wonder kid. Yeah. But we've heard some more gossip. this week about his life back in Spain. So Spanish pap Jordi Martin has reported that Barcelona were given a couple of days off and Yamal went to a restaurant called Jacqueline in Seville, which by all accounts isn't that unusual.

8:36But there are a couple of odd parts to this story. So first of all, he asked the management of the restaurant to invite a load of girls to the restaurant and gets given phone numbers for each of them, which again, you know, if there's maybe five or six girls, you know, you can handle that. But the next bit is slightly strange. So he then requests that restaurant management invite guests to be dressed as bunnies, which is giving pure Playboy vibes. Yeah, well, there's Playboy bunnies, right? Not the fucking Easter bunnies. Yeah, so kind of like Hugh Hefner. And we're imagining sort of phones in a box kind of vibe on arrival.

9:15but the rumour is that there were 70 girls that came to the restaurant dressed as bunnies which just feels like a lot for a dinner, do you know what I mean? 70 girls dressed as bunnies Isn't it like him and two mates? It's his mate and his mate's cousin There isn't any photo evidence as far as we can see but it's been reported quite widely on the internet this week. Yeah. Imagine when, you know, when you see these, what was it? There was like a TV show where they used to always do prank calls and there's like someone, someone who's like telling their, telling their mate what to say down the phone.

9:55It's like, yeah, tell them to dress up. Just see if they do it. Make sure they're 70s. And they did. Yeah. Restaurants will do that. You know, it's like, is it a special occasion? You can sort of, you can get a happy birthday written in very nice handwriting and chocolate on a plate. Imagine if you were in a restaurant like taking your son out for dinner and then all of a sudden fucking 70 Playboy Bunnies come in. I mean, it'd be great for us actually. I do. Again, just living out every teenager's dreams. You've got to give it to him. I mean, he could have been a fucking Messi who's just like training, training, training.

10:27And good luck to him if he is. But he's living the life. And he's doing both of them though, right? He needs to lock in. Yeah. He's like the generational tenant. I don't want him to end up like that. No, I want this. I want this. It's so good to have a footballer who's having fun with it. Oh, no. He's the most exciting player away from the pitch as well as on it. Yeah. And that's the thing, he's still a deliverer on the pitch, so. Yeah. He's still got braces. Yeah. It's literally like fucking super bad. Still got braces and you're just in a restaurant with 70 Playboy varnies like smoking cigars.

11:01Fuck it. Yeah, I've got a feeling he's going to be keeping the lights on here for some time to go. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. You know how people, football fans are like, it's so exciting. he's still only 18 we've got like 20 more years and I'm like we've got 20 more years and it will turn seedy at the moment it's all good fun it's good natured yeah it'll turn a bit Neymar yeah well speaking of Neymar Jamal isn't the only one who's cashing in the benefits of his fame lately so recently over in Brazil this as yet unnamed billionaire died and you know this guy was childless he was unmarried but he got sick and sort of realised it was cut and soon so he needed to get all his affairs in order so I was willing and everything and obviously he's got this enormous fortune and he had to decide where it was going to go you know, would he maybe donate it to the donkey sanctuary or that nephew from Fortaleza who always sent him a Christmas card but in the end he shunned those options and decided instead to leave all his worldly possessions to a Mr.

12:13Neymar. Makes sense. Bear in mind, Neymar has never met this guy. Oh, they're not? It's not one of his pals? No, it's not like a mate or anything. He's just a fan. Santos fan? I assume so. So we're looking now at the legal documents, his will, and you can just about make out this bit that's highlighted at the bottom that says, Neymar de Silva Santos Junior which I never knew that was Neymar's full name but anyway he goes on so the document reads explaining his decision it says I like Neymar a lot I identify with him a lot he's not self-serving something rare these days his connection with his father reminds me a lot of the one I had with mine who has passed away which does beg the question did he read the room there did he also pay for orgies for his dad that is the main thing that reminds me of it comes to mind when you think of Neymar and his dad's relationship I suppose that would make you quite close to your father especially if you were together there's not many fathers in some relationships like it and I guess it would make you feel quite kindred spiritual I like the way that he's put an explanation because even he could see how fucking ridiculous this is he's got the need to be like look I like him yeah that is like damon's probably already worth a few hundred he's the last person who needs it yeah um but the yeah like you said he felt like he needs to really explain it so in the document it says he makes a statement that he's in full judgment free from any coercion or inducement and that the decision was made solely due to his identification with the player i'm a football fan maybe he loves parties in brasses as well yeah yeah I feel like he's talking about his whole outlook wouldn't surprise me yeah but yeah it's all go through court at the moment Neymar's yet to comment presumably in the lobby of some super yacht shop right now just eyeing the laugh I wonder what he'll do I reckon he'll give a bit to charity as I argue every time he comes up I think he's basically a decent guy who just likes to party and gets injured I don't know I feel like he's the worst person you should leave that money to She's going to spunk it all playing online poker with Dan Bilzeri.

14:30There's going to be some bad shit. There's going to be some. I mean, how would you even spend it? It's like the plot of a film. In a way, is it that different to a slightly dotty old lady leaving it to her cat? Which has happened. That has happened. So I've found a couple of other funny bequests from Wills. so leona leona helmsley who was this this american multi-billionaire uh she decided to leave her multi's dog 12 million dollars um and this dog ended up having to go into hiding is it which is facing death death and kidnap threats dog napping i guess who looks after the money for the dog because the dog can't spend it yeah it goes so so there's a there's a few cases of this but it basically gets like they want their animal to continue living this like life of luxury.

15:26Right. Does it need 12 million to do that? I mean some of the things because they're in houses and stuff. Is it like a dog carer? Yeah. So there was another one so Karl Lagerfeld you know the fashion designer he had this cat called Chupette. Of course it was called Chupette. Quite famous in his own right this cat and when Karl was alive the cat apparently had two personal maids to look after it and it would dine at the table with him um anyway kyle died in 2019 and left the cat millions in his will um and to be fair to chupette it also makes a fair bit itself it's done shoots with kylie jenner naomi campbell and it's still working now even even since um really so that's kind of so it's so it's it's bringing in bringing money itself uh but you After Carl died, he wanted it to continue living its life, so left with his money.

16:20Apparently, it still now sleeps on a pile of designer clothes. Holidays in Saint-Tropez. It's got a little Louis Vuitton bag for when it goes travelling. Oh my God, well, let's get a picture of it on a jet. Living its best life on its birthday. Bottle of expensive champagne there. I mean, surely it's not eating the cake. Yeah, or drinking the champagne. I don't know, I reckon. It's tulips. Well, it's flour. You can see how the bills start to rack up. If it's got a private jet, I won't fly without my tulips, darling.

16:52Yeah. I mean, I've always thought Carl Icafowl looks like a total wrong. Yeah. Apparently, it is a bit of a diva as well, this cat. I bet. Jesus. What happens to the money when the cat dies? So I know with, what's her name? The American Billion, Leonie Helmsley, it got donated to some charity after the cat died. So it was like basically give this cat, give this dog with her, give this dog the life every dog is dreamed of. The best security. Yeah. As eating steak for breakfast. You've got to really trust the person that's like in charge of the estate because the dog or cat can't say anything, can they?

17:31Yeah, true. You know. Oh, yeah. You're laughing. If you're the one who's appointed to look after the cat, you're just, you're going to San Tropez on a flyer jet. Yeah. The cat can't complain. You do have to tell people that your boss is a cat. it is a bit to be honest I do you know what I mean I suppose I'm willing to pay

17:54Chupet's just fucking dug me out you're a fucking nightmare I didn't look after his tulips and he's just dug me out I've got my end of review next week very nervous

18:12i think we mentioned this story on patreon a couple of weeks ago um that michael jackson michael jackson had this chimpanzee called bubbles who like traveled everywhere with him and after bubbles after michael jackson died bubbles went into this so it's probably a similar deal to this like living the life of luxury but there's a story on Bubbles' Wikipedia that apparently when it found out that Michael Jackson was probably a nonce it tried to kill itself

18:47because it couldn't live with the shame you got no options you got no options at that stage everything I believed in is a lie

19:00my millions are tainted someone has dampened with that wikipedia page how does a chimpanzee even do that i don't know i don't know i the other thing i was thinking is it is it a sort of jeffrey epstein situation there's like that yeah that chimps see too much the chimps the chimps weirdly the security cameras in the zoo were disabled for an hour

19:23oh that is good is bubbles bubbles must be gone now I wouldn't mind going and sitting bubbles I'm actually not sure yeah yeah we'll do a bit of research but bubbles it was big into violin apparently as well bubbles yeah I'm not sure playing or just listening probably just listening probably both but yeah yeah I hope he's doing alright I think the suicide attempt failed fortunately good really good hopefully he's still going we're all rooting for you we wish you well Bubbles wish you well Bubbles is it the prior reader

20:03it's probably more the fact he'd been put in a fucking zoo than the fact that he learned his boss was a not going from Neverland to a zoo must be quite hard he knew about the fucking not come on if anyone knew it was Bubbles oh god couple more Chuck Blazer you remember Chuck Blazer who's the pretty bent former FIFA official grotesque he he had an apartment in Trump Tower two adjoining apartments in Trump Tower one for him one for his cat 6k a month just for the cat and I read that was being paid the lease was being paid directly for the cat by ConcaCaf which is like the UEFA of North and Central America just on their list of expenses is it and a cat apart from them.

20:51A little brown envelope slid under the door. And yet FIFA had the audacity to complain when we called them bent. As you speak of jammy bastards, did you see Eric Ten Ha got a 6 million euro payout from Bayer Leverkusen? You mentioned when I was away last week, you mentioned he got sacked by Leverkusen after three games I think. 60 days. His payout comes out 100k a day for his thing not bad for a couple of months work that is yeah chupette numbers that is yeah there's also been like quite a lot of leaking now from the club about what he did wrong because obviously it looks bad for the club as well to sack someone that quickly and so they've been saying all this stuff by him falling out apparently he even fell out with the backroom staff that he brought with him his mates but the other accusation is that he was pushing the club to sign players who are represented by his agency what do you think he's going to get a bung for that well supposedly United United spent 200 million on Rasmus Hoyland Andre Onana and Anthony great signings and I think all of those signings were broken by his agency really yeah make that what you will gotta be careful there but I think he would obviously strenuously deny that he's doing that for any reason I think he'd just say I trust the players but yeah that was one of the things I think he's gotta have a bit of a break now old ten aug do you think yeah yeah yeah where's he going back to Ajax I reckon you reckon he needs to rebuild somewhere a bit quieter where people respect him yeah poor fella now Lamin-Yamao might be able to hop on a private jet if he drops his passport at a phone party but for most youngsters getting on any flight is a bit of a treat isn't it when you're a teenager going on a plane it's quite exciting much like the under 17 squad at the Brazilian side Atletico Goianensa who recently they were recently flying off for an away game obviously Brazil's a big country, you've got to jump on a plane for a lot of these.

22:49And these Brazilian teenagers had a couple of hours of free reign wandering the airport, which, you know, it's heaven, loading up on Blue Raz Elf bars, copies of FHM you can flick through in the shop. It's all kinds of excitement to be found in the departure lounge. And then just when they thought their day couldn't get any better, they spotted a familiar face sitting down in departures. it was none other than adult star Elisa Sanchez, who you guys will, of course, remember from her famous roles in Ass Parade and Brazil Exposed 3. I've seen both. How could we forget? I've seen incredible work in that.

23:31And, you know, like you or I would do, three of the lads immediately grabbed Elisa for a photo and lined up with the grand dame of Brazilian smut. And then they got this great pic, which we can see now uh love that's a nice little pick of all together grinning the lad on the end is yes lads so he got the pick and you know immediately fired it out on all the social platforms to the giddy delight of their mates and you know the likes poured in everyone was absolutely loving it apart from the big wigs at atletico going answer who were not so impressed by this little picky in the airport and responded by ripping up the teenagers' contracts.

24:14Fucking hell. They sat them for a photo. Yeah, so they blamed a lack of discipline and poor performance. But the big wigs clearly knew who she was as well then. So it's like... That's a good point. You've all had a tug, so you should all go down. That's a good point. How did you know it was a hauntster? Checkmate. I think you should resign. I should actually say the club denied it was for that reason They say it was Poor performance The timeline speaks for itself Pretty unjust though Getting sacked for having a selfie with a porn star Feels a bit much I'm thinking this is our first campaign Justice for the Ass Parade 3 Are we going to chain ourselves to the offices of Pornhub Ass is out Do an Ass Parade of our own actually a protest parade actually this isn't the first time that ass parade has been mentioned on this pod when I was looking at this story earlier in the week I mentioned it to Zach and you did like a flicker of recognition you were like oh ass parade and I just thought it was your fucking grubby search history coming to mind you know like the flashbacks the horrid flashbacks I've heard this before yeah but actually so in February this year we talked about Ike Casillas the goalkeeper legend Spanish goalkeeper went on a date with this porn star called Claudia Bavelle.

25:38And it was the date where basically they were in a restaurant and she asked for some wine and he said, there's a Lidl down the street going by a bottle because he's famously stingy. But she was also in Asparade. I knew it. Unfortunately, a different episode. I was trying to see if Mary and Alicia had crossed paths, but no. No, different scenes. But yeah, both members of the Asparade mafia. I knew it because I've got the DVD. Alumni. I've got the DVD box set at home. I guess you would have seen it on a different episode. Yeah, yeah. Can I borrow it? You can borrow Aspera 1, Aspera 2. Not 2. Actually, Cloud...

26:15Two Soil. I'd really like to. You don't want to borrow that one. You might want to touch the cassette. Actually, Claudia Babel's, the other film she was in, probably my favourite porn title ever, Lost in Fuckland. Yeah. Just lost. Just wandering around. Bad place to get lost. Sounds like a good place. You're not going to get directions.

26:41Anyway, yeah, these poor fellas who I think we now need to campaign for the restitution of, who have just seen their whole football careers disappear before their eyes for the simple crime of wanking. It all seems unfair. And especially because Elisa Sanchez has actually retired from porn and is training to be a football referee. So we're looking at a picture of her now at an event where she's holding up an orange card. And I don't think that's typical uniform worn in a Brazilian top flight. But I think she is actually doing the exams to be a proper ref. Why not? The players could have just said we were just getting a thing with a ref.

27:20Yeah, she's my favourite ref. It's probably not why they recognised her. But she's doing some refing. I was thinking that is quite a career change. I know, like, the picture we're looking at, it looks like slightly novelty refereeing role, I would argue. but I think you know going into proper refereeing do you not think that like because of her career as an adult star as soon as that gets picked up by the press it's obviously going to get press so yeah I mean it's like the Daily Stars section that has like world sexiest spearfisher and it's just some like only fan star who went fishing once yeah that vibe yeah I was looking though Mia Khalifa you both give me very blank looks very famous porn star yeah yeah she she's quit porn I think and was doing a sports commentary role she does like a daily show with Gilbert Arenas who's that basketball player we talked about him we did a basketball episode he's the one who got in a fight with a teammate in training and the next day the teammate walked into the dressing room and Gilbert Arenas pulled four guns on him how do you hold four guns?

28:23toes one of each foot sounds like a job for Elisa Sanchez but yeah yeah so I think that's our first campaign yeah let's get him back willing to let many things slide even the eagle falconer yeah first they came for one but nothing yeah exactly at some point we said nothing actually we didn't you've got to take a stand we just say quite a lot I was thinking those young lads do you think you get a contract at another team you've got it surely I don't get present it's like so loose in some ways and then you get stuff like that where they're uptight don't have photos with your heroes yeah anyway next time those lads are expressing their devotion for an adult film star perhaps they'll be a little bit more discreet and you know if you are worried about who can see you familiarising yourself with the oove of Elisa Sanchez or getting lost in fuckland then why not turn to NordVPN which allows you to switch locations to wherever you want and browse privately get a VPN in fuckland switch locations I don't think you need one in fuck land everyone knows your name I don't think it abides by UK law what is an ass parade is it very simply a parade of asses I'm thinking like you know when they do witness parades where you have to pick out the one who's like guilty identity parade that's what it's called where he pick out who mugs you well so it's just the arses you've got to say Elisa Sanchez Claudia Bubba you've got to pick out the porn star from and then one of them one of them's just like me or you in the line we should do our own one guess who's ours yeah that's Patreon stuff actually just three arses that's not a bad idea actually if your business runs on five different apps twelve browser tabs and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch it's probably time for Odoo Odoo is an all-in-one business management software that connects every part of your business into one powerful, easy-to-use platform.

30:33So instead of wasting time switching between disconnected systems, your entire business works together in real time. Your team moves faster, your data stays accurate, and you can actually focus on growing your business. Let one unified system run your entire business. From the first opportunity to the final payment, everything works together in one place. Whether you're a small business or managing a large operation, Odoo gives you one flexible platform built to grow with you. Learn more at odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com. Before we continue, I've got a podcast recommendation for you. the Football Ramble is the most entertaining football podcast out there, except for the Upshot, obviously.

31:19And for me, it's the best way to follow the on-pitch action at the World Cup this summer. Just like the Upshot, they're not afraid to call Gianni Infantino what he really is. So if you're looking for a new podcast to guide you through this World Cup, look no further than the Football Ramble with brand new episodes every single day through the tournament. Just search Football Ramble wherever you get your podcasts. join us on Patreon for our ass parade Christmas special well anyway if you don't want people knowing if it's your ass in the photo or which country you're showing the ass from NordVPN it also means you can stream your favourite shows and content wherever you are which is perfect for the football season so you can watch sporting events that aren't available in your region whether in Fuckland or otherwise and the good people at NordVPN are offering Upshot listeners an exclusive discount so go to nordvpn.com forward slash upshot and our link gives you an extra four months on your plan and there's no risk because it's a 30 day money back guarantee great deal you can do a lot of browsing in 30 days in my experience these VPNs are very popular at the moment getting more popular I wonder why nordvpn.com forward slash upshot and I put a link in the episode description box and if you're watching on YouTube there's a QR code on your screen right now where you can just scan that and it'll take you to NordVPN so get on that exclusive deal it won't take you to fuck land though it won't well well it will it's a few stage bro you're already in fuck land that's why you want the fucking VPN now it was I would argue one of the best transfer windows ever it was great possibly the best very exciting it had it all big signings great deadline day drama all the way through around your E-Sacks and your Wisas and others and over in Spain in the second tier the execs at Burgos CF were toasting a major transfer coup.

33:16They were popping the carver because they were about to land the iconic Mexican goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa on deadline day. So you probably do remember him. He's 40 now, but he has been Mexico's keeper for ages. He's an icon. It was the 2014 World Cup. It was amazing. We got man of the match even in the game they got knocked out in. So he's a big star. It's a big deal. You know, since then he's been playing around Europe and Spain, Belgium. But it's a big coup for Burgosler in second tier. And he came in, did the medical, the terms were agreed. Social media team had already devised some tedious wrestling themed announcement video.

33:54And all that was left was to sign on the dotted line. And Guillermo was sat in the seat with these execs about to sign when he suddenly sprung from his chair and said, I'm just going to nip out and grab a coffee and then I'll come back and sign. So I go for it. There's a cafe down the street. We've got the pen right here. You can just get a coffee after. No, no, I'll just grab a coffee. So out we went to grab his flat white and the execs waited and waited. Fifteen minutes passed and then an hour. And eventually, like a jilted singleton whose blind date has climbed out the bathroom window, the Burgos execs realized what had happened.

34:33And Ochoa had done a runner. There's something out of a film there. Yeah. I've not exaggerated the details there. He literally said he was getting coffee and then never came back. Running down the motorway. So that was over a week ago. And they've been calling him ever since. And he's just not answering. He's completely ghosted them. WhatsApp on one tick. Yeah. He's probably changed his number. So yeah, they haven't heard from him or his agent. Have we heard from Ochoa at all? No, so he's a free agent. So there's no like parent club who could sort of speak on his behalf. He's lost in Parkland.

35:12He's definitely got his VPN. Yeah, he's got his VPN. Fired up North VPN. So to be fair, so he's had a bit of a weird summer. So he has left his previous club and he's under a bit of pressure because the Mexico coach has said, I'm only picking players who are playing at the top level. Right. And Ochoa, as I said, he's 40. And this would be his sixth World Cup, which would be a joint record with Ronaldo Messi. And it's obviously being hosted partially in Mexico. So it's a big deal. He really wants to play. And he thought earlier in the summer that he landed the perfect role because Real Madrid approached him and said, we're probably going to move on Andre Lunin, our backup keeper.