OLD GOLD | Tiger Woods: Get in the hole!

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1:23This winter, everyone is all on the same team. Comcast, proud partner of Team USA. Please welcome from Jupiter, Florida, Tiger Woods.

1:37Sharing the lead here after the opening round of the tour championship. Scandal!

1:48Drug-fueled car crashes. 121 mistresses shagging the next-door neighbor's daughter. No one did scandals like Tiger Woods. I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. But if you think you know the full story, think again. Buckle in for the tale of a golfer gone wild. Oh, wow! In your life have you seen anything like that? I'm Jack from The Upshot. Joining me as ever are Zach from The Upshot. Hi, Jack. Hello, mate. How you doing? How you doing? Excited for a bit of filth today? Always, always. Always. And Mr. Mickey Down. Hello, guys. I'm back. Mickey, you wanted to call the episode Tiger Woods Get in the Hole.

2:33I did. thought that is that we're not what we're calling it we still like people might be listening to this now being like that is the title depends if we block up the courage between now and it going out or we think of a better title but yeah i think that's i think that's i think we should go for it it's fitting it's fitting uh the tenuous excuse for doing this podcast now is that it is the rider cup this weekend so you know that's golf and tiger woods play golf but we're probably not going to talk that much about his achievements on the course uh will we even say the word golf well we will it'll come up uh before we begin i should say this episode comes with a parental guidance warning even by our standards it's it's pretty sordid stuff yeah um so if you've got kids in the car or you're listening to this in a public place yeah not not one for the kids zach do you want to kick us off yeah so we're gonna we're gonna start right at the start really because i think when you look at um tiger woods's childhood a lot begins to really make sense so tiger's dad earl introduced him to golf when he was about two years old earl is actually he's a pretty interesting character so he was a he was a college baseball player uh and also vietnam war veteran when did he introduce him to fucking well we're gonna come on to that because pretty early sorry sorry digression go on zach not not too young hopefully but yeah so tiger's a nickname and uh he was actually named after one of his dad's army buddies so it was a south vietnamese uh colonel who his nickname was also tiger and earl tiger's dad actually met tiger's mom while he was on on duty so he was he was stationed a military base in bangkok and he met met tiger's mom there fell in love and ended up uh leaving his then wife and two kids uh back in america for her uh and he he did this by sending them a letter via his lawyer so they just i don't think he even came back home at all they just got a letter in the mail i've never heard that story they left that out of the documentary street yeah weirdly the earl just left his other family i didn't even know he had another family dear family i am leaving you signed my lawyer signed yeah i was leaving you yeah it's pretty brutal when they've you know they've dad he's away at war and then just a letter comes through the through the door from his lawyer yeah was he interested in getting his other kids into golf or was it just something that he thought about with tiger i don't think any of them play golf So I think Tiger, I think he kind of discovered golf later.

5:18So Tiger actually learned to play golf on Navy golf courses. So I think it was once he was back in the US, he sort of, you know, he had this, there was kind of a course for ex military people to play on and he taught Tiger to play there. And apparently, um, yeah, I don't think Tiger had many friends growing up his own age. Why? Because most of, he spent all of his time on the golf course. So he basically spent all his time hanging out with his dad's military buddies playing golf. So is his dad, I'm picturing sort of pushy parent, like the William sisters dad. Yeah. Or any tennis player. Yeah. Pushy Tiger Woods dad could be described as a pushy parent.

5:57Yeah. So he basically dedicates his entire life to turning Tiger into a, into a golfer. So right from the age of two, he's, he's training him all the time and he makes, tiger makes his first tv appearance at the age of two plays plays uh plays a match against bob hope the comedian uh on national tv and he's again at age five on tv and it's how can you tell the two-year-old's good at golf how good are we talking mickey you've got two-year-old have you got her on the golf course and she hasn't been on the golf course yet but then again her cousin she's got an older cousin is about seven and he is a pretty good golfer like far superior to me not hard but he can although people at school i had a rather racist nickname tiger words did you actually yeah well just purely by being black yeah but that but i also had a similar haircut and i did we used to wear this sort of like um which i still have this like nike polo shirt all the time and i have no friends it was most yeah and i had no friends and i was and i was really i mean but i mean the similarities ended when i got on the golf course yeah there was there was definitely this insane pressure so the quote from his dad i think tiger's a little bit older now i think it's when he's going pro about 18 and his dad says tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity a lot of pressure just like today or with golf didn't he say that he would unite all races as well i'll use this as like bigger than golf.

7:29It's about like him becoming an icon for race relations like Muhammad Ali or something, right? I guess so, yeah. Yeah, but still, I mean, it's a lot of pressure to put on a guy who's freaking at golf. Is Tiger Woods, is his name Earl? It's Eldrick. Is it Eldrick? Okay. What is it? It's Eldrick. His real name is Eldrick. And it's Eldrick Taunt, which is a Thai name, I think. Okay, got it. Yeah. It's a shit name, isn't it? Eldrick. Yeah. It is. Tiger's a lot cooler. All right, so he's 18 now. So he's 18. So there's, there's by this stage, there are kind of the beginnings of signs that he's not quite normal.

8:04So at the, he strangles cats.

8:09No, that's not true. Everyone, that is not true. It's warning signs. No. So the age of 18, he, he's away at college and he lies to his parents and comes home from college a day early. So he can go and visit his girlfriend, spend the night with her. but his parents find out about this and they threaten to kick him out of the house they're absolutely livid that he's uh he's gone behind their back and he then ends up sending uh a letter to his girlfriend who they've been together a couple of years i think they've quite a happy relationship up to this point uh and he sends her this letter dina the reason for writing this letter is to inform you my parents and myself never want to talk or hear from you again reflecting back over this relationship i feel used and manipulated by you and your family i hope the rest of your life runs well for you i know this is sudden and a surprise but it is in my opinion much warranted sincerely tiger sincerely earl crossed out tiger who is standing behind me with a gun so it's a bit like earl's letter to his own family drafted by a lawyer yeah i love the tone of it it's like let's let's be friends but if you ever come within 250 meters again i will take legal action so it's really like psychopathic yeah but do we think he he obviously didn't it wasn't his idea that letter right that's like no i'm sure it wasn't i'm sure it was i mean look allegedly i'm but this is all speculation and conjecture but i'm sure that was his father's idea yeah at the end of the day though it was probably for the best i mean what would he have done i mean look he became the greatest goal for all time she was distracting him from his short game practice exactly exactly i mean this this whole podcast is probably going to be about ambition and the trade-off of between a happy life and i guess becoming tiger woods yeah although the great irony he's not happy the great irony is that in the end as we'll see the ruthless ambition undoes his own success on the course as well and his dick yeah i'm arguing they're connected we'll get on to that yeah um there's there's another good story from this around this time it was in 1996 she's a little bit older so tiger's 21 now and he's kind of an emerging star and he's in a ends up in a nightclub in new york with michael jordan and derek jeter the baseball player and tiger sees these two sort of dashing sportsmen surrounded by women and uh getting all this attention and he's sort of like oh god how do they how do they do it and eventually he plucks up the courage to to go up to them and asks them and and says excuse me mr jordan how do you talk to girls just imagine this really dorky dorky golfer sidling up to him and uh excuse me mr jordan how do you talk to girls and uh and michael jordan just replies tell him you're tiger woods I'm going to treat it with like a massive roar and then like blow cigar smoke in his face Derek Jeter famously used to give like goodie bags or like party bags to everyone he'd slept with really wasn't it he had sex with someone and then he gave them like a party bag like thank you for the experience what's in the bag yeah the sort of thing you get at the Oscars I guess it's a pregnancy test plan B or was it like a kid's party bag yeah like a little cake a party popper thanks very much actually those guys become a really bad influence on him from then obviously they tell him how to get girls and he never really looks back right he just goes around forever saying I'm Tiger Woods it does work but I think he also does quite a lot of womanising with them a lot of prostitutes as well a lot of prostitutes I don't think you have to say I'm Tiger Woods to a prostitute how do you get girls?

12:07Call us ESCO agency, they'll take care of you. But those, I think those three, and also Charles Barkley, another basketball player, they, they really set up shop in the like Vegas scene where you're, you have, each of them has their own tables. They're not even sitting together and they're playing $30 ,000 blackjack hands, just them playing with the dealer. And then the rest of the table is just like groupies and what's known apparently in Vegas as star bangers, which are, you know, women looking to sleep with celebrities for those who didn't. Yeah, I worked at that. Sorry for that coded reference.

12:39So they're just literally playing at tables on their own. Apparently, yeah. And it sounds really depressing. Is that even fun? If you've got a gambling addiction, it's pretty fun. Yeah. And I've been, you know, Michael Jordan has a somewhat gambling addiction. And Tiger Woods, I think. They're known as like two of the biggest gamblers in Vegas. And this whole like cottage industry springs up around them in Vegas where there are, you know, cool girls, escort agencies, cocktail waitresses, casino managers who are all kind of in on this thing of let's milk these guys for as much money as possible and that means providing them with a lot of girls who are willing to sleep with them so tiger is i think basically on the rampage from the moment he turns pro and the reports around then are a little bit hazy but he's he's definitely shagging around but he kept it under wraps because he kept this sort of single lily white image yeah i guess this is for nike yeah and it's about so he does this big nike contract when he turns pro it's worth 40 million a lot of people say that again was one of the seeds of his own demise because he just has so much money and also he has this public image he needs to keep up so even early on he has this thing of i need to look publicly like this clean living customer like you say family man and on the other hand he wants to live the prostitutes and gambling these things are in opposition constantly there's a lot of people who are just in on it and don't spill until obviously later i guess the casino is interested just to hide it, right?

14:00Don't they call them whales? Yeah, he's a whale. The big spenders. This is pre-smartphone as well. True. So there's no, I mean, if Tiger Woods was a water casino surrounded by prostitutes now, bam, bam, bam, there'd be a million photos of it. Yeah, although, again, let's talk about it later, but I think there are times where he should have been caught, but there's just so many people milking the whale. Yeah. Anyway, in 2001, the vibe, milking the whale. Disgusting. I haven't told you guys about my past. Spill, milk in the wheel. My past at an escort agency. In 2001, this all changes because Tiger meets Ellen Nordgren.

14:39So Ellen is a Swedish beauty. She's described by the tabloids as a perfect specimen of Nordic beauty. So, you know, the kind of... Sort of thing, you know, Adolf Hitler would write. If you're into eugenics, it's sort of the end game. It's the apex predator. she's a good looking girl she's a model she's a good looking girl a perfect specimen of Nordic beauty says Rudolf Hess

15:11oh Dr. Mengele

15:16she's fit she's very fit in layman's terms she's fit she's a sometime model also works as an au pair and she's a model sorry an au pair for golfer Jesper Pernovic who's a sort of lesser known golfer on the tour. And she's been working with him for a while and all the golfers who are, for the main, they're all dirty dogs. A lot of them are. They've all had a crack at trying to get with her. No one's successful. She becomes known as an ice queen because she won't get with them. I mean, in her defense, most of the golfers on the tour are like... She's 20 and they're about 70. Yeah, they're middle-aged blokes with beer bellies and Johnny Walker on their brand.

15:51Why won't you get with me? She must be an ice queen. She's also at work. yeah there's teenage boy stuff isn't it she's frigid yeah no she's just got standards anyway tiger's really persistent initially she's not interested he at one point he's still super shy he gets one of his friends to ask her out which she thinks is pathetic that's pretty from the lawyer did you not try i'm tiger woods yeah i think he tried that i'm tiger woods did his friend just go up and say he's tiger woods derrick jeter goes anyway ellen eventually cracks and in 2001 they start dating. Three years later they're married and this is the real era of like Tiger Woods the family man, squeaky clean Gillette adverts.

16:30He has this great, you know, very crisp reputation is how I'd describe it. But even then he's up to no good. So they get married in October 2004 on his stag do. The thing about him, sorry to jump in, his reputation was crisp and clean but it was also fucking boring. It was robotic. Yeah, robotic. Like, you know, there was early memes of him like with smiling with the Nike swoosh in his mouth. Like basically he was an amazing golfer programmed to be good at golf and to sell Nike. And it was boring. Like you'd root against him in tournaments. This is his most successful era. He's winning everything, but I didn't really want him to win because it was so mechanical.

17:05That's another question. Did people like him more after he was revealed to be somewhat human, but he was a bit too human? Yeah. Not his wife. Yeah, his wife. I kind of did, but you know, the latter end when he's sort of in recovery. Yeah. It was all a bit shocking at first. I mean, here's a nice human bit if you want a break from the robotic victories. On his stag do in 2004, he shags porn star Holly Sampson. This is a nice human bit. It's just a guy like me or you. An ordinary Joe. I thought it was going to be something about his kids. Oh, you want nice stuff? Here's a nice empathetic bit about Tiger Woods.

17:41He shagged a porn star on his stag do. Well, you can listen to radio too. What a lovely bloke. All right, yeah, you want the monster? I'm sorry I came back. Look guys, it's the robot or the monster. You can pick. Is there no middle ground? What do you do at the weekend? He gives a lot of money to charity. Yeah. Yeah, that's a nice bit for you, isn't it? Yeah. Look, I cut out all the nice human stuff. Holly Sampson, he shags her on his stag do. You guys will probably know her as the star of Big Tits Boss and the 69 Club as card carry members of the club. Yeah, Holly Sampson. She's going to pop up again later in this story, so we won't dwell on her.

18:15But she shags him on his stag do, and I think from that point onwards the marriage is I don't know if sham's the right word but he's cheating left right and centre by 2007 it's real problematic stuff does Ellen find out about this? no she's none the wiser at this point although he is really taking the piss in terms of the risks he's taking she's not suspicious when he's like I'm going to Vegas again I'm going to Vegas every single weekend he's always on tour I don't get where she is because okay this is a really weird one of his mistresses around 2007 is Mindy Lawton, who is a waitress at the diner where him and Ellen eat most days in Florida.

18:56It's that real American thing. You know, it's opposite his office. I don't know what he does in his office, but it's opposite his office in Florida and Perkins diner is opposite. And he takes a shining to, there is a bed in the office. That's actually all there is. It's all single camp bed and some non-disclosure agreements. am i lying anyway according to mindy's sister she later says ellen would read the paper while tiger ogled my sister so he's in there for nefarious reasons and one day mindy is in the diner when she gets a phone call and uh a man on the end of the line says hey it's ty and she's like who the fuck's ty tiger woods and tiger says ty ty yeah shortening his nickname at least go for eldrick exactly that's sort of that's a sort of like you know nice thing you can do to people that you're close to you but everyone calls me talking about yeah you can call me eldrick eldrick tant anyway he invites her out that night and takes her to some god-awful island themed bar which is inside a shopping mall in this area in florida so it sounds pretty grim and so so florida yeah exactly soulless anyway they hit it off naturally and they go back to his house ellen's away and they shag in his garage and mindy later says it's the biggest penis i've ever seen and they they begin this affair that goes on for several months she later says he's pretty stingy the only gift he ever gets her is a chicken wrap from subway is that a gift well yeah she's counting it he was on his way to to meet her and just happened to mention that he was popping in at subway and she was sort of like oh oh subway i'm a bit peckish do you mind picking me up all right if you insist is that is that because he doesn't want the paper trail or the electronic paper trail or is that just because he's just stingy oh i think he's just stingy it's another michael jordan similarity which is supposedly super super stingy i can't explain it well there's i think if you think if you grow up poor you just you know you hoard your money i guess yeah and maybe he's also worried about the paper trail although surely you can get away with two two subways if you're worried about being caught stop nobbing the waitress while your wife's reading the paper.

21:06It gets pretty out of hand, their affair, and culminates in this night where it's about 4am and Tiger calls her and says, I want to meet up now. And she's like, Jesus Christ, it's 4am, but yes, of course I'm coming. So he says, meet me at my office. And they get there and his key card doesn't work to get them into the office. It's double locked or something. So Tiger's like, screw it, jump in my car. They get in his Escalade and they're driving around this small town in Florida looking for somewhere. And eventually they find a parking lot, a church parking lot. Oh, they pull up and Tiger's like, right.

21:36What about hotel? Yeah. Well, witnesses. Yeah. I think he's getting off. The only witness is God. Or so you think. So they, he wants to get down to it. And she's like, listen, I'm on my period. And Tiger's like, I don't care. I don't care. So they have sex in the back of this. He's ravenous. He is ravenous. He hasn't had his chicken wrap. And he, they, they get down to business. They sleep, but they shag in the back of the car. And about 5.30 a.m. Good save. of sleep to shag. This is the off shot. So they have sex in the back of his car and at the end of it, he's like, okay, we need to go. It's 5.30 a.m.

22:13He throws her used tampon out of the window in the parking lot, which is, you know, disrespectful to the church among other things. But it's also a fatal error because little does Tiger and Mindy know, but they're being followed by a reporter from the National Enquirer who's got the tip that they're having this secret affair. And the reporter pulls out a plastic evidence bag picks up the used tampon and contacts Mindy a few weeks later and says, I know I've got evidence. We're doing the story. Do you want to talk? Imagine, imagine how, you know, happy boyed up the reporter must have been when that, that tampon flew out of that window.

22:51That, that, that, whatever the blacked out window down. Is that the highlight of your journalism career? Yeah. It's like peeling. This is the fucking mother load. this is what i went to journalism school for to peel used tampons

23:10so did they did they framed it on the wall did they uh dna test this one i don't think they had to because they basically they contact mindy and and they say like we know you're sleeping tiger and and um well she tells tiger and he's like nah they don't know anything and then they just go we've got the tampon and they're like oh shit tiger actually is remarkably calm he gets his agent on the case and you know this is i guess the kind of thing an agent has to do the agent cuts a grubby deal with the national inquirer he says to them drop the story and we'll give you an exclusive interview in your sister magazine men's fitness with tiger woods which they do and they squash the story i've never understood about this bit how that's worth it well i guess worth it to the journalist that found the tampon?

23:56Well, not to the journalist who obviously gets overruled, but to the magazine owner who owns Men's Fitness and National Enquirer. So we're going to put Tiger Woods on the front cover. We're going to have an exclusive interview. He doesn't get that many interviews, probably. Does that sell more magazines? I'm sure it does. I'm not sure that sells more magazines than Tiger Woods used tampons. Potentially better to build a long, long-term relationship with him. You're not going to be getting many interviews if you do that story. Yeah, and that's exactly, that's their relationship with him over. Right.

24:21Maybe this is why I've never run a profitable media company. You go straight to the used tampon angle. Splashing without even checking who's it is. I also think people just don't believe shit they're reading the National Enquirer. That's true. It's like, what's the other one? The Globe. There's magazines that you can buy on the newsstand. They do UFO sightings. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, I saw a UFO and it fucked my wife and my pet pig next to, you know, Tiger Woods used tampons to go. Yeah, but they have the old massive, like they did one of the Trump scoops came from National Enquirer too.

24:54They do get big scoops, but it's a bit... Maybe all these UFO sightings are big scoops. They are pretty good. Why are we doubting them? Anyway, he gets away with it. This is August 2007. He breaks things off with Mindy because it's, you know, a bit too close for comfort. She's obviously a bit cheesed off, but that's the end of their relationship. And Tiger just goes back to shagging left, right and centre. Do you think had he been caught then, it might have actually been good for him because the next two years he ramps it up, the womanising. Yeah, I mean, so if he had been caught then you think he would have slowed down but he gets caught multiple times afterwards and doesn't slow down.

25:26He keeps going back to the well. He was already shagging loads at this point as well. During the Mindy. Yeah, she thinks he's in a loveless marriage and they might be together. But wasn't he calling her up and being like, hello Mindy, I really fancy you, please be with me. I'm like, wasn't he doing that? Yeah, yeah. But he was also doing that to like girls in every city and he'd fly them around. To prostitutes he met that night. Yeah, literally there's prostitutes he tells he loves them and stuff. It's mad. It's sad, isn't it, at the end of the day? It is. It all goes back to his father. And his dad dies in 2006, a year before this.

25:54Yeah, and he does that advert, that really quite amazing advert, that Nike advert, where it's just Earl Woods talking over some black and white image of Tiger saying, like, was it worth it? Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. And did you learn anything? have you seen remember that yeah it was incredible i mean it was awesome but it was it was ridiculously exploited yeah and maybe a bit of a sham yeah given that you know his dad also was a bit of a shagga right yeah we didn't really talk about that but supposedly tiger used to catch him doing it and yeah so i guess you know there's a sex addiction thing here going on where it's a response there's a mental health anger which we're going to ignore and bust past but we've Acknowledged it and moving on.

26:47What happens next? Anyway, so back to the shagging. Yeah, so like you say, he's kind of moving swiftly on. There are plenty of podcasts for that, if you want. If you want that, you're in the wrong place. And we're going back to shagging now. Our home tough. The sanctuary of the shagging. God, I'm sweating after that.

27:18so yeah so may 2009 and there's another close shave for a tiger in terms of getting caught out so holly sampson the uh the porn star that he shagged on his stag do um it goes on a an adult website called naughty america um don't pretend you haven't heard of it Naughty America. Puts glasses on. Naughty America. Let me just check I've got this one right. Yeah, I mean, I've never heard of it.

27:52No, so he goes on Naughty America, esteemed site, and talks about, does an interview where she tells the story of Tiger's stag do. But for some reason... Does Naughty America have some sort of chat show as well? Yes, we were discussing. this earlier and we were like what they do interviews the holly sampson story or is it like a sort of they got they get they get a tiger woods impersonator and they have a have you ever slept with a golfer before she got asked whether she shagged anyone famous and she i think she initially was like oh i can't i can't talk about that so oh but there was tiger woods she goes into quite a lot of detail as well doesn't she yeah i do know that do you know the yeah this is this is a theme yeah it is a theme because it's well he's got a well-documented big dick doesn't he yeah big dick incredible body very strong and apparently very passionate and they they all say he's great in bed he's an athlete isn't he yeah but that's you know i'm saying about his body not his dick i mean we talk about a lot of athletes who don't get the same kind of rave reviews nicholas bentner for one shane warne as well poor old shane all right so holly samson's doing some bonus material yeah yeah so she's she she sort of spills the beans on this but it doesn't really go anywhere the story but then six months later another big story breaks this is actually a couple of days before thanksgiving in 2009 and you know tiger's mom is just arriving at his his house you know they've got the tree up it's a you know just looking forward to this family christmas earl is dead at this point yeah i was dead yeah sadly r.i.p and tabloids break a new story that claims that tiger has been having an affair with uh rachel who is a nightclub host tiger just like flat out denies this to his mom to his wife he actually even gets rachel to to phone up his wife ellen and convince her that it's that it's not true wow so i think you know they they sort of muddle through thanksgiving it's you know probably probably not probably not not the best thanksgiving but they get through it and on thanksgiving night tiger's on his way to bed and he pops a couple of sleeping pills and fires out a few steamy messages to his mistresses and then sleeping pills kick in and he's in the same message like a sort of template and a sense of the people yeah yeah i am hard forwarded many times high yeah of eldrick but yeah so he passes out from these these sleeping pills and ellen his wife while he's passed asleep checks his phone and finds all of these messages to to his lovers including to rachel and there's one that says you are the only one i've ever loved which is pretty incriminating yeah not what you want to read on thanksgiving as you fall asleep beside your husband um so he's been he's been pretty careless here right yeah yeah this is the behavior of someone that wants to get caught yeah or it's just like he's got sleeping pill addiction here so he's a bit out of it.

30:56Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's... Also, interesting... Let's not speculate. Interesting, because some of the messages to the mistresses, as we'll see later, are like quite hardcore sexual stuff, but that's quite sweet. Is that the right word? Yeah, I mean, reading about him and watching that documentary, that's the thing that really... I mean, that's what leads me to believe it's all daddy issue stuff and intimacy issue stuff. Because all these... You know, you expect the sort of I am hard, take this big dick. Send texts like that all the time. Yeah, exactly. But then you don't expect that, like, you to a porn star or whoever you're you know the only one i've ever loved well she's a night club hostess sorry i have a bit of respect for rachel also it seems like some of the relationships are more loving and some are more hardcore sexual anyway what happens next so then so i mean it gets it gets even more incriminating because uh ellen phones rachel from tiger's phone and obviously tiger's note number comes up and rachel answers and says hey babe which yeah and that is that's the final straw for ellen so she understandably flies into a complete rage wakes tiger up and chases him barefoot out of the house with brandishing uh one of his golf clubs that was a very famous moment it all came out this is the moment she had a golf club as well it's so perfect it's hollywood um so he then jumps into his uh his cadillac and speeds off and she's she's like chasing i think He might've smashed through the back window with the golf club, but he only makes it a little bit down the road before he crashes into a fire hydrant and then a tree.

32:29Yeah. Presumably, presumably he's on sleeping pills at this point as well. So desperate he has to get away. Apparently neighbors hear this big crash, come out and discover tiger, uh, lying like bloody in the road, snoring, his car's destroyed and Ellen standing over him with a golf club. Um, so she claims that she she just like helped him out of the car and i don't know doesn't she say that she used the golf club to smash the window to get him out the car which because it was locked from the inside okay right yeah or someone on her behalf claims that key go go back in the house mate can't hit him with a key as well it's obviously this this is like the moment uh it's such a sort of dramatic so you can imagine what the neighbors thought understandably the the papers go absolutely mental.

33:19So the New York Post actually had this as their front page story for 20 consecutive days, which is one more than 9-11. Hall of Fame. Yeah. What's that as in the Tiger story starting with this crash? Yeah, I guess all the sort of revelations and... Did the National Enquirer break out their old story or were they bound by some contract they had made with Tiger? I think they're quite... They, I think, still deny squashing the original story, but Mindy has told it from her side. I got it. So I don't know, to be honest. Yeah, so it's this huge tabloid for Raw. So it starts basically with the iconic picture of his car smashed up and him passed out of the wheel, his wife wielding a golf club.

33:59And then everyone's like, what the hell happened? And there's obviously been the Rachel O'Shattel story. There's been a few other rumblings. This is the point where the Holly Sampson Naughty America interview gets dug out. So there's like a couple of mistresses claiming, but Tiger I think still thinks he can control the story so after he's sort of recovered from his car accident he puts out a very very terse statement just just a short one just saying thanks for your concern this is a private matter my accident and he actually attacks the press for spreading malicious rumors about his personal life so essentially he's just denying it and claiming like I had a weird interaction between two sleeping pills or whatever and and you know I haven't done anything wrong.