Roman Abramovich: a murder every 3 days (part one)

33:49And yeah, she didn't realize she'd hit the fucking jackpot. She actually now runs Russia's asphalt industry.

33:59Complete coincidence. She just bought it in an auction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it's classic, what's known as Compromat, right? Where they just fuck you. And I was looking, there were so many of these in the late 90s, early noughties in Russia. Just as someone's threatening the powerful people. Bang. You just get them to... It seems to always be a sex thing as well. I do think you've got to live a pretty squeaky clean life if you're going to go for Putin. If you come at the king, you best not miss. Wasn't there something with... They tried it with French spies or something? No, French... Yeah.

34:34Honey traps where basically in Soviet era, the Russian spies would get a French... They would get a spy to sleep with an undercover agent and then blackmail them so they could flip them. but they said the one nationality it never worked on was French spies because apparently they would do it, go to blackmail them and the guy would be like, yeah, my wife already expects me to cheat on her. I'm French. It's already priced in. I love that. They try it and it's just like, can't be blackmailed.

35:05That's quite a, that's a pretty good get out for, yeah. It's what they say about Trump, isn't it? that like he's, because he's already said so much mental shit, it's all priced in. You can't catch him out. Anyway, Roman's still constantly living in fear of either organized crime, trying to whack him or political rivals taking him out. And in 2000, he gets elected to the Russian parliament, which does come with one bonus. You get immunity from prosecution, which seems like quite a big flaw in their system. Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure that has been, utilised. It's Russia. He then becomes the governor of Chukotka, which is a region in Russia's farest east.

35:49It's just over from Alaska. Ten hour flight from Moscow. It's quite random. We're looking at a picture of him on a motorbike. I mean, it looks, it's Borat. It looks like Borat. It's Borat.

36:02The scenes in Borat where Borat is in Kazakhstan is, that's Chukotka. You're with my wife. Robert, you want to meet my wife? He's basically on a, motorbike just cruising around with like a random guy on the back just visiting these houses yeah everyone looks quite cold yeah barren landscape yeah I saw he the way that part of the way he got people on side was by buying them whaling weapons weapons to go whaling with yeah he's actually really popular there isn't he yeah because he just like does these sort of charitable schemes I imagine that's the sort of place that doesn't doesn't get a lot of attention from from Moscow yeah generally is.

36:41If you're familiar with the risk board, it's Kamchatka. It's a bit right at the end. He's Plied Cumru for Chukotka. I'd say it's a more important region in risk than in real life. In real life, yeah, no one cares about it, including Roman, to be honest. He only visits every six months. I'm just happy you're here. Yeah, it's good to see. Good to see a friendly face. To be fair, he's too busy in Moscow where he's cozying up to Putin, who he is actually, he helps into power. So when Yeltsin's time's up at the end of the 20th century, Roman recommends Putin and really backs him for power. And of course, Vladimir Putin does become the new premier.

37:24What do you get a new Russian premier as he begins his ascent to a 25 year reign? Well, Roman gives him a$57 million yacht as a well done gift. Wow. Yeah. Oh, that's just allowed. Yeah. Well, the rubber ducks are long since gone these days. Yeah. Yeah. And by this point, Roman Abramovich is Russia's second richest man. He's also having weekly meetings with Putin. I saw something that he, when Putin came into office, he had to get his new cabinet. And Roman Abramovich did, he interviewed all the candidates to be cabinet officials. Right. He's basically picking the government himself. Right hand man.

38:04Yeah. Yeah. Because I, obviously, you know his wealth story a bit, but I didn't realise how politically powerful he is. Yeah, and he's still so young. He's in his early 30s at this point. He's come up for it. It's an amazing story. It does make me feel quite an addict. You know when they're like, Beyonce has the same number of hours in the day as you? It's like fucking hell, early 30s, he's done all this. He's going to flatten the Kremlin, yeah. He's actually played it fucking well because in the early 2000s, Putin decides, quite Stalin style, that he needs to purge his rivals and he starts purging oligarchs, including Berezovsky, who had been, he was seen as really powerful and untouchable, but he'd started to get a bit yappy.

38:44He'd criticised Putin on his TV channel. Okay, that's super move. Don't do that, don't do that. And not long after that, he is investigated for tax fraud. The old classic. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure he was doing a bit of tax fraud, to be fair to him. But he flees to the UK, loses all his businesses in Russia, a huge amount of his wealth, and Roman basically cuts him loose. he decides to basically side with Putin. Yeah. Shrude move. That was a good, good move. So all those, like, at the time. All those businesses he was doing with Roman, he essentially just loses his share in them. We'll talk more about that.

39:15Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Apparently Putin... Yeah, but it's pretty ruthless from Roman because Boris was, Boris was sort of the one who, he kind of came on, not on his coattails because he obviously, like, he was such a great business mind who did it himself, but, like, it wasn't without Boris's connections and sort of patronage that he would have got into this position in the first place. They fucked him hard. He did. But I think right move because otherwise you might have been framed for a murder that never happened. Yeah. Putin's really going for the oligarch. What people say is the reason he succeeded while this failed was all the other oligarchs were really loud mouth and demanding and he's just very quiet, very loyal.

39:51Smart. Yeah. But he must be scared. That's what made him such a great flatmate for Putin. He wasn't... That makes any trouble. He's fine, yeah. Always pays his bills on time and yeah. Anyway, in the early 2000s, Abramovich, he settles in London. I think he always liked it there. And very quickly, he took an interest in buying a football club. So he's exploring different options to begin with. He's not that clued up really, though, on the English game. He goes, shortly after he arrives, he goes to Man United against Real Madrid at Old Trafford with Pinny Zahavi, the agent. And Pinny comes to collect Roman at the airport and he's got Graham Souness with him.

40:36Graham is manager of Blackburn at that point. And they come in the car. Graham's driving. He's picked them up. And Roman gets into the front seat. And really, Graham keeps chatting to him. He's just sort of making small talk. Oh, are you looking forward to the game? How's it going? How's it enjoying life in London? Whatever. and Roman just keeps on palming him off. Just like, keeps on turning and trying to like, making eyes to pennies a half of him for trying to talk to him. Did you not do the setting of no conversation? Basically, eventually he realises that Roman, Roman thought that Graeme Souness was just the chauffeur, essentially.

41:13To be fair, I think in Abramovich's world, is Graeme Souness, yeah. No, but also like, if you're a driver, like the idea that Souness is driving the car, it's a bit village in his life, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it probably is. But yeah, initially he's keen on buying a football club. He's interested a lot. French side, Nice on his list to begin with. Man United as well. But neither of them are for sale. Also inquires about Tottenham. But Dan Levy wanted too much apparently. And then he asks the advice of England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson. He asks him, there's Spurs, there's Chelsea. And Sven says, look, buy Chelsea, don't buy Spurs.

41:53They're a lot more set up. they've got better players go for that so Chelsea at this point they're they're sort of a regular top six Premier League side but behind the scenes things are a bit rocky they're on the verge of bankruptcy really they've got 80 million pounds of debt owned by Ken Bates who he bought the club for a pound back in 1982 we're talking about old era football owners this is this is it really but he'd done a good job really in helping Chelsea rise up to like a Premier League force. But you know, Chelsea are in trouble. And Ken, I can't believe his luck really when this oligarch rocks up.

42:35Initially, though, at Chelsea, nobody really has that much of an idea of who Roman is. He's not a big name in the UK. And at one of their first meetings, Roman's lawyers bring in a copy of Forbes magazine to show who he is. They're like, flick it open and there's Roman at number 15. That's great. Apparently a lot of them, a lot of meetings with them, they don't even know which one Roman Abramovich is. They're like, who am I negotiating with here? Because he's just so understated. But once they realise how much dosh he's got, the negotiations go very quickly. 24 hours of negotiations and in July 2003 Roman buys Chelsea for 140 million do you think it's like he literally says alright we'll do 140 million and they're like 140 yeah so I just sold it for 40 yeah I mean 140 that's chump change really to Roman Abramovich really he's still he's 36 at this point which is mad to mad to think about anyway this deal goes through very quickly and afterwards Ken Bates and Abramovich take a helicopter ride over London.

43:46And they're flying over Regent's Park. Bromwich is sort of having a nosy out the window. And then he turns over Regent's Park and he turns to Bates and he says, that looks like a good park. Let's buy it for a training ground. Regent's Park. Regent's Park. And a Chelsea official who's on the flight as well politely informs him that it might be difficult. Regent's Park is the property of the Queen. and Roman just shrugged apparently and was like okay what was it like that's not a no let's make her an offer imagine if he had just bought Regis Park and turned it into him I think he would have if he couldn't I'm sure he would yeah back at the club though Roman immediately he gets all his old blazers from the oil company into high ranking positions at Chelsea and they start splashing the cash yeah So that first window, he signs 11 players, including Claude McAlealy, Hernan Crespo, Joe Cole, Damien Duff, Adrian Mutu.

44:50Yeah. Do you remember it was like a month from him buying it to the end of the transfer window? And they just banged. Is that right? Yeah, July. They bought him in July. So they just banged out. Did he have a list already of players? Presumably. Generally quite good purchases. Yeah, it was good. He spent well generally. There were a few misses. for Ron yeah but do you remember when Man City bought sorry when when the Abu Dhabi guys bought Man City they were buying like Joe and like Rubinio and stuff but Rubinio was big they bought him for Alano yeah but that was they were shit buys whereas these were quite true this was it did well right from the start it was so exciting yeah yeah but I mean for Chelsea fans this was dreamland really and they they're in love with Roman right from the start because he also he seems like a proper fan that first season he goes to every match home and away including one where he sits at the shed end at Stamford Bridge you've got a picture of it here that's amazing he looks like he's got a couple of bodyguards around him but he's just there with a bloke this top off with a Chelsea tattoo the bloke next to him is amazing yeah he's looking at him yeah because for a man who's so cautious about his security that's quite a brave move I guess he's got everyone there is protecting him yeah they're the last people on earth who want to see harm done to him yeah I mean there was there was one game that he didn't fancy and that was when Chelsea were drawn to play Scarborough away at the FA Cup which I would love to have seen I think the stadium's like 6 ,000 capacity yeah I would like to have seen that but sadly he was otherwise engaged still mad that he went to like Middlesbrough yeah yeah yeah he did donate 25 grand to Scarborough after that tie am I the only one who's starting to really like him yeah I mean And yeah, as long as you don't own a rival aluminium company.

46:41I don't think there's any evidence he was involved in that. Yeah.

46:47But yeah, he's a big football fan, clearly. He says that he bought Chelsea for the love of the sport, really. And I believe him. There was a book written a few years later, though, that suggested Abramovich might have had some other reasons. So the book suggests that he saw owning Chelsea as the least expensive form of life insurance. So around this time, as it has been before and since, the Russian state had no qualms about killing people who fell out of favor. And a few years later was the Litvinenko poisoning in London. And obviously, Roman's in the good books right now, but that can change swiftly.

47:29And having this high profile public position in a foreign country is potentially a bit of a buffer. It's harder to take out the owner of Chelsea than it would be to a sort of faceless figure in the oil industry. Because he's going to kick up a big furore. And he's probably in London. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Litvin Yanko caused quite a sturd, didn't it? I mean, it did, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put me off my Itzu trips. I mean, it put Roman off that as well. He did take a lot of precautions. So even at Stamford Bridge, he only ate food prepared by his private chef. wasn't out at the burger van on King's Road and he had a bodyguard to taste all of his food before he eats it Is that to see if it tastes funny?

48:15Because surely you haven't got time to see if the bodyguard dies I was wondering that, yeah I don't know What did they do Litvinenko with polonium? Polonium, which it's like radiation poisoning I guess that takes a little while to I don't know but he has a bodyguard anyway who's tasting it according to a former associate of Romans Stamford Bridge was a popular meeting place for FSB agents during this period are they friendlies? I presume they are unless they're sending a message to Roman by being there we are watching it's quite funny to picture them in the shed how undercover are they? that bloke with the tats it's like they've got the newspaper with the eyes cut out just like watching the game if it's the bloke with the tats he is in deep cover that guy.

49:06Had to put on 10 stone. 10 points of Stella. If the agents were there, they can't have been too happy with what they saw in the first season. Because Abramovich certainly isn't because he sacks Claudio Ranieri at the end of that first campaign. To be honest, I actually think that was quite harsh because Chelsea finished second in the Premier League that year, got to the Champions League semis, which is not a bad return for his first year considering the amount of new players that he had to work with. Yeah, Ranieri's a bit of a soft touch for a hard-nosed Russian oligarch, isn't he? Yeah. He's a bit sort of sweet.

49:43Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit gentle. Which does explain who came next. Yeah. Apparently he was actually desperate to get Sven as his replacement. I can see those two. Well, again, Sven, another man with a weakness for rich men. Yeah. Loves it. He's got a bit of a mandelcon about him. But yeah, he apparently was desperate for him, but obviously Sven's committed to England. So he reluctantly says no. And instead, Roman settles for a little-known Portuguese youngster by the name of Jose Mourinho, who joins in 2004. He's pretty young at this point as well, isn't he? Yeah, I mean, this is just after he won the Champions League with Porto, right?

50:22So his stock was very high. Again, the first sexy manager. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Totally changes the vibe of managers. Yeah, I think you're probably right, yeah. Gone from Fergie and Wenger to Mourinho and Pep. It's a great match for the new era that Roman's building. This is like sexy money. Slightly dubious sources of money and sexy managers. First press conference is obviously the most famous Mourinho line of all. I'm European champion, so I'm not one of the bottle. I think I'm a special one. And yeah, safe to say he gets Roman's backing in the transfer market. So they spunk another 70 mil.

51:03They get Essien Drogba, Mattia Kesman, Ricardo Carvalho, Ferreira. Mixed success. Yeah, yeah. There is also the odd dud to deal with, like Adrian Mutu, who they'd bought under Renieri, who it's not worked out. Mourinho arrives and it's just instantly not a fan. Yeah, different style. He accuses Mutu of faking an injury, and then they have this confrontation in Mourinho's office where Mutu squares up to him and he says, if you ever go to Romania, you'll be in big trouble, basically. Yeah. At which point Mourinho's like, get this guy out of my club. Also, because my boss knows some pretty bad dudes as well.

51:39I wouldn't make too many friends. Oh yeah, let's get a little boat across the Black Sea, shall we? Anyway, apparently the story goes that Mourinho is the one who tips the drug testers off about Mutu's drug use. We covered this in a lot more detail in our Mutu episode. Really fun. obviously he ends up testing positive for cocaine and Chelsea rip up his contract he's not the only hard partying star in that Chelsea squad though after an FA Cup win John Terry and Joe Cole they go out in the West End and they bump into a group of glamour models including the great Keeley Hazel there's one of the big names she's a star yeah she's in her pomp at that point as well page three in FHM pub although Joe Cole is seeing about four of her because he's blackout drunk apparently he's just staggering around absolute wreck and at the end of the night he's lost his phone his wallet and John Terry and Keely Hazel says she just saw him stumbling around outside while she's trying to get a cab he's a mess and you actually I'll let her pick up the rest of the story from she tells it in her autobiography which is titled Everyone's Seen My Tits Penguin Random House available it's a great title it's a great Yeah, it catches the eye.

52:54She says, Joe was so drunk he couldn't stand up. I didn't want to leave him drunk in the middle of the street on his own. We had the World Cup coming up. That was her thought process. I said, I'd drop him home, and I kept asking him where he lived, and he kept replying, England! So in the end, she's like, what am I going to do? I feel like she's done the right thing here. She takes him back to her flat in South London and lets him sleep it off. She puts him in a bed, takes his shoes and socks off. You know, bucket by the bed, towel over the pillow. But there is just one problem. Keeley's boyfriend, Theo, pops round to pick up his car early in the morning, walks into the room and finds Joe Cole asleep in his girlfriend's bed.

53:36I mean... Yeah, you can put two of these together. Yeah. I choose to believe Keeley's side of the story. In any case, Theo goes ballistic. And Keeley says she heard a noise. We rushed upstairs. That's when I see Theo on top of Joe throwing punches at his head. this wasn't some scrappy little bar fight Joe's shirt had been ripped off he was bruised and bleeding it's pretty bad what do you mean woke up like that he doesn't even know where you are yeah exactly you're like where the fuck anyway apparently Joe fights back and he smacks Theo hard around the face and while Theo's dazed Cole just bolts out the door grabs his clothes and bolts past both of them and sprints to a taxi office where he wanders in battered and bruised apparently he's got no shoes on Can you imagine working in that cab rank at 9am?

54:25Stinking of booze comes in and it's pams. Because I guess Abramovich early era Chelsea is still the era of tabloid scandal and players out in Western nightclubs. It's the golden era. Yeah, exactly. It's the Arpshoff's golden era, the naughty naughties. Anyway, back to Chelsea. With Mourinho at the wheel, obviously they win their first league title for 50 years. It's a record at the time for most points ever in the Premier League and fewest goals conceded. mad 15 15 15 goals all season that is insane and it kicks off this amazing era of unprecedented success for chelsea which is particularly good news for their proprietor roman abramovich who his feeling is the more chelsea succeed the more famous i am the safer i am which probably explains why he's at every game yeah um he's still terrified about getting whacked at this point either by gangsters or political rivals.

55:20Yeah, I mean, if you just want to get control of his stake in the oil company. I think Putin's making that harder, but he's still like, you'll have enemies in the FSB. There's different groups vying, even in the FSB. So yeah, he has to start taking even more crazy precautions. So apparently, even when he's on his yacht at sea, he has armoured cladding on the boat. He's got an anti-missile system. and a mini submarine in case he needs to flee in a hurry. He's like a military general. Yeah. Mad. Is that submarine sort of like that, you know, the Titanic thing where those guys died? Is it like...

55:56Oh, what, like the submersible? Is it bigger? I mean, it's proper bomb villain stuff. He does get a bit less picky about his food. So previously he had bodyguards tasting it, but apparently he gets a real taste for Nobu, the sushi restaurant, which is where Boris Becker had that shag in the broom cupboard. I recognise the name from somewhere. It's a real Upshot favourite location. And he loves it so much that he orders takeaway from its Canary Wharf restaurant to a business meeting in Baku in Azerbaijan. So it's 1 ,200 quid's worth of sushi is ordered from the restaurant, collected by limo and driven to Luton Airport and then flown by private jet 3 ,000 miles to Abramovich's meeting.

56:43Did the sushi need a limo to get it together? Surely any car would have. That needs to be a good car. I guess if you're going to get a takeaway delivered to Azerbaijan, then sushi is the one you got. Yeah, I don't think the sushi is. I don't think a burger is going to be looking that good. Yeah. Get a KFC. It's going to be quite damp by the time it gets there. Still, yeah. So apparently estimated cost of 40 grand. Most expensive takeaway in history? Quite possibly. Yeah. If anyone knows of a more expensive one, let us know. Yeah. that's to be fair if I was an oligarch that's the sort of shit I'd be doing it's a flex isn't it as well at the business meeting although given what happened to Litvinenko I don't think sushi would be my go to as a Russian oligarch because he got done in Itzu oh true yeah his sushi had polonium in it I think I think he was definitely in Itzu I guess Nobu's a bit a bit better quality I can see Itzu's bounce back in a way it's sort of the Pizza Express Prince Andrew Itzu Litvinenko wasn't it the Skripals were at ZZ I think were they why are they always these like Russian these like FSB agents just love they just love chain restaurants they love like middle middle ranking chain restaurants Cafe Rouge the Slugger Lettuce they just have all their meetings there were they actually at ZZ I'm pretty sure they were at ZZ before on the Novichok pizza yeah any extra toppings yeah I do I love that takeaway story, I think.

58:13Yeah, that's all you've got to. I guess sushi does, if you're in an air-conditioned plane and limo... Yeah, it does not get a bit dry. The rice goes a bit dry, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Now, if you're a Russian spy nipping over to England for a quick poisoning, you're going to need a few things, aren't you, Zach? You're going to need a decent supply of Novichok. Yeah, check. Other chemicals are available. Yeah. You're going to need a reservation at a tired middle market restaurant chain. Shorty book ads, yeah. Preferably in a market town. Yeah. And of course, you're going to need cheap data. Yeah.

58:49You've got to let them know back in Moscow. Yeah, you've got to tell it. You've ordered your chili cheese steak from... Where do they get these? What do they sell at those places? You've got your bento box from Wagamama's on its way. Yeah. And the polonium is in the victim's system. You need to telegram the commissar back in Moscow and just be like, he's done. He's done. Yeah, well, let me tell you, you cannot rely on your old Russian SIM. Definitely not. And the Wi-Fi ZZ is frankly pretty shaky in my experience. So may I recommend Saley, which gives you cheap data every time you travel abroad.

59:33Saley is a new eSIM service brought to you by the creators of NordVPN. You download it once. It's just an app. You download it, and it gives you cheap data for 200 countries. 200. Wow. Yeah. So you can take people out in pretty much most of the countries in the world. Yeah, although you might be subject to European Union sanctions by now, in which case you might not be able to use it in those countries. Yeah. You know, elsewhere. Anywhere they let you travel, you can do that. I'm still talking about the spies, but actually this is for everyone. Anyone can use it. it's the cheapest easiest way to use your phone abroad poisoning trip or not maybe you're just visiting Salisbury Cathedral that's what they said wasn't it they just said they were like tourists I think they came to London for like three days and they came to Salisbury Cathedral twice two separate trips they just love it you've got to do the whole menu my dad calls Pizza Express that lovely Italian place which I think those guys could probably relate to.

1:00:35They love it. Do you think this is something to do with the fact that, like, behind Iron Curtain Russia, these sort of chains were not available? It's like when Iron Curtain came down and it was like, oh, my God, McDonald's. Is this the equivalent? They come here and it's like, oh, my God, Café Rouge. Finally, this is what. When I was a boy growing up in Siberian Gulag, we dreamed of slugging lettuce. one day we would try the american cheese steak yeah yeah well enjoy lads welcome welcome to capitalism uh and best of all 15 off salie for upshot listeners so yeah download it in the app store just uh search for s-a-i-l-y use code upshot and you'll get 15 off your first purchase an absolutely killer deal i'll put those details in the in the episode description as well it's not roman's only extravagance so he he gets in nikki haslam the interior designer to do a statue he installs a statue in his house are you familiar with nikki has no he's like a sort of socialite designer he's the guy who releases every year his list of things that are common you ever seen it it's like a tea towel they're the ones on his list that i've enjoyed before loving your parents because it's obviously that like posh people thing of like if you weren't sent away to boarding school at three and one of them is minding about smoking because he's obviously been in restaurants and people are like can you not fucking smoke anyway apparently he does this statue for Abramovich and Abramovich hates the statue so much that he orders Nicky to rip it out, fires him and gets someone else to renovate the entire house because he's just so annoyed that the statue's like ruined the vibe he actually the other oligarchs sound worse so Haslam also says that he he does a Moscow penthouse for that guy Deripaska who's in the aluminium business and apparently the only request was the apartment to have dancing poles for girls made of aluminium yeah exactly actually it's just washing what's that expression eating your own eating your own dog food and Evgeny Lebedev the you know the guy who owns the evening stand and stuff apparently he has a statue of Pinocchio but instead of a nose, it's an erect penis.

1:02:58Literally the worst statue of him. I can imagine. That's like oligarch humour. Yeah. We should do a Patreon about him. I've heard some fucking mental stories. Anyway, back at Chelsea, despite all the success, Roman and Jose's relationship starts to deteriorate. So they went back-to-back titles, but then things sour in 2006 when Abramovich insists on signing Andrei Shevchenko and Mikhail Balak. Neither of those transfers go very well, do they? Yeah, I think Balak was decent. Shevchenko never really wiped out. He was just mates with Shevchenko, wasn't he? Yeah, I think so. And apparently Mourinho's really angry about that, which I get.

1:03:39Meanwhile, Abramovich is getting increasingly annoyed that Mourinho can't get it over the line in the Champions League. And then he fails to win the league in 2007. United win it. And it's all falling apart. But there's this infamous game against Rosenborg early in the 07-08 season where the grounds are full, Chelsea only draw. And Abramovich, who's always been quite like neutral expression in the stands, is visibly really pissed off. And after that, Mourinho leaves. Officially, it's mutual consent. But he's sacked by Chelsea. Yeah, I remember when the news broke that Mourinho was gone. It was shocking at the time because he was the best manager in the wild.

1:04:17It was like, what the hell is Chelsea doing? I remember being at school and hearing it yeah it was gutting as well because he was so fun but do you think in hindsight that's just Mourinho he only does a couple of good seasons yeah yeah I mean we didn't really know that at the time but yeah three seasons isn't that long you could say Zach it was a bit of a bombshell I would probably say that yeah I'd probably call it a bombshell well on that bombshell we've reached the end of part one so Roman Abramovich has tasted Premier League glory but he's lost the man who got him there and things are about to get wild on and off the pitch.

1:04:51So join us in part two where Chelsea is thrown into some serious chaos. We've got managers in brothels, got wife swapping in the dressing room, kidnappings abroad. It's pretty mental. And in Roman's personal life too, there are some wild moments. He's partying with Prince and Paul McCartney. He's poisoned by the KGB. And his old friend turned foe is found dead. It's about to get nasty on all fronts. certainly is so you have to wait next week to hear part two or if you are a member of the Upshots Patreon you can listen to it right now it's ready and waiting for you if I were you it is in your best interest to subscribe to the Patreon that's all I'm saying otherwise you might find that you take a little walk by a river this week they have a mysterious art stack floating down the Erinska River I strongly advise you to assent to this business deal would be my advice I shouldn't have to tell you what happens if you don't.

1:05:49So, patreon.com forward slash Upshot Towers if you want that protection and immunity. Otherwise, good luck. We'll see you next time. You'll get an extra episode of Upshot every week. You'll be alive to enjoy it. And we'll cut you in on our aluminium business as well. Fuck it. Have a rubber duck on us. All right, Zach. Enjoyed that. Enjoyed that very much. Thanks a lot. See you next time. Bye.

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