Saudi football’s first sex scandal | Extra shot

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1:32with our guests JP Lockwood. Hello boys how are we? What sort of state are you in? I think pretty ropey today I'm not gonna lie. So you two have both been at Glastonbury for the weekend? Can you tell? I don't know what's giving that away but I do sound a bit like Frank Butcher after 40 Richmond Super Kings and to be honest I look a bit like it too. My voice sounds fresh but my mind is I'm having brain zaps. Yeah, you're a little bit vacant in the expression. You look like you've seen things. You're going to have to carry us today, Zach, mate. Yeah, well, I'll try. I did need a book. I'm feeling fresh, fresh and ready for this.

2:12But how was it? Oh, it was fucking great, but just takes it out of you, doesn't it? It was really, really good. Saw a few footy characters knocking around. Yeah. Tyrone Mings. oh I saw a picture of Tyrone Mings in a very strange get up yeah very colourful it looked like he was wearing about four different disguises it was like an Egyptian pharaoh suit that covered his face but it was more like Joseph and the Technicolor dream coat as well it was absolutely mental and I'd saw we were in like an almost like a nightclub and my mate pointed him out and I was like no way is Tyrone Mings in here at 4am so I went right up to him and I got about a metre away from his face and I was like, are you Tyrone Mix?

3:00And he was like, yeah, but can you not tell anyone I'm in here? I was like, done deal. Because as I can see Tyrone, you're flying under the radar. Is he massive? He's massive. Yeah. He's like six foot four. He's gorgeous as well, but I was just like, what the hell? Yeah. It was a weird outfit because it's quite like new age hippie, but sort of like fluorescent colours. Yeah. It's not the kind of outfit you wear when you want to go under the radar. No, no, no. He was definitely peacocking. And I saw that he swapped. Well, maybe that's why he had to go and buy the new outfit. Because he swapped shirts with a villa fan.

3:36Was he just wearing a villa shirt? Yeah. That's definitely not how to go under the radar. If you're Tyrone Mings. Things on the back. But yeah, maybe that's why he had to go and get the headset. Because he swapped clothes for someone. Speaking of absolutely massive as well. Andy Carroll knocking around. Teddy our producer you saw him I saw him on more than one occasion in the early early hours of the morning again absolutely huge not very pleased to see me though by the look of it did you did you say hello uh no I my jaw dropped and I stared at him from a similar distance to JP with Tyrone Minks on more than one occasion funnily enough each time he got less and less friendly yeah I get the feeling Andy Carroll is not someone who'd enjoy being spotted but he wasn't very covert like no disguise no ball cap or anything like that and he had his hair up in the andy could not have looked more like he was about to go and play 90 minutes of football yeah maybe he just doesn't fuck anymore he's not playing for anyone now he's not he's stopped playing for that french team now so yeah free agent free agent yeah good on him um any other famous faces yeah i mean so we had outside where we were camping i didn't see her personally but I think my wife did some of our mates did Kate Moss sitting there boozing hard like 7am 7am and then apparently jumping up at people and going hello campers was she on her own?

5:03no I think she was with friends but I mean like we weren't in like VIP or anything I guess she was and there was one nearby but sort of admired that just like going out in amongst it very Kate Moss we did see George in NYC down low yeah we saw producer George in NYC and he saw Davina McCool in there who's my sort of festival buddy I saw her at another festival in Europe so he saw her in there Davina it was quite funny we'd just got in there and it's like obviously like a raucous LGBTQT club and the cloud was just clearing and all of a sudden the producer of George's comes out of the smoke and we just have this three way I should say three way hug it wasn't a three way and then I think we lost him after that yeah it was odd given that the last time I'd seen him we've been dogging on Wimbledon Common.

5:50Am I going to see you anywhere normal anymore? Also, just thank you to all the shotters we bumped into. I bumped into a lot of shotters, more than last year, and they were all, to every single one, lovely. So thanks for all the kind words and for having a blast with you. I did have one quite funny moment. I was chatting to someone, I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name, and we got a selfie together and we were just chatting away. He was saying lovely things about the pod And then the woman standing in front of us turned around and went, sorry, do you mind shutting the fuck up? I do remember that.

6:23And it was in front of all my mates. So it was just an instant bucket of cold water. I'd been loving the moment of fame. Was that, were you halfway through like a quiet set from? It was, yeah, it was Lewis Capaldi. Lewis Capaldi, a really lovely moment. I mean, she was completely in the right. And Lewis Capaldi, who he was, you know. Was he giving a nice monologue about his journey? Yeah, he was. You know, his whole thing, he's sort of like a confessional and he's kind of going through it live on stage. and you know he had been doing it a lot and we'd been very respectful but in that moment I let my standards you're talking about kind Neshi Kori yeah exactly talking on women in common yeah I did actually apologise for you so I apologise too and she was very nice about it she was in the right so yeah but yeah not sure she'll be listening to the pod any time soon yeah fair enough so yeah it was a good one yeah at some point as Zach and JP have been angling for for a while I do agree it would be fun to do a live pod there try and get one done yeah Get us on Pyramid Stage.

7:18Headline. The legend. Might be a tough turnout. Put Neil Young to shame.

7:28Yeah. Anyway, what's happening in the sport? So while you two were dancing naked around the stone circle, it was a big week in sport. Actually, I've got an update for you. So a bit of a sad one, actually. It looks like it is the end of the road for the upshot sportsperson of the year in waiting, Lazio's eagle handler, Juan Bernabe. So he was evicted finally from his flat at the Lazio training ground on Friday. So you probably remember he barricaded himself in there since back in January when he got sacked. And he's been in there ever since. It's a good stint. He's done well. He's done well to last that long.

8:09in case your mind needs refreshing and the reason behind his sacking isn't permanently burned into your retina he was sacked back in January after posting there's no nice way of saying this photos of his erect cock online so just to recap the the story for anybody might have forgotten Juan was employed by Lazio along with his eagle Olympia. So they do a pre-match show at the Stadio Olimpico. He'd walk around and Olympia would fly around the stadium, come back to him. And, you know, with this apex predator on his arm, him strutting around, fans were sort of wondering whether maybe he was compensating for something.

8:56and it turned out that he was because back in january juan underwent penile prosthesis surgery so basically cock enlargement cock enlargement so he explained at the time he said i had surgery to increase my sexual performance because i am very active i need to ejaculate every time i have free time my erection is natural but with this device i press a button that allows me to perfectly control both the erection and the timing so he does not sound natural to me he sort of pumps it up doesn't it yeah we've we we discussed at quite a lot of length the the mechanics of there's a button in the ball bag it pumps it up it pumps up yeah have we got a photo of the cock uh yeah we can find one i'm sure because i've never seen it yet you haven't seen it no i haven't seen it in a while it's very big as i recall yeah safe search off please teddy yeah oh never mind if you google if you go on twitter it should come up have you not seen it no I've not seen it sorry I should have put a link in oh that's a different one oh god

10:06that's a cock it's actually a lot of cocks we'll have to do a screen share of what we're actually watching right now I think I've just seen about 50 cocks this is that's just what happens now when you search for things on twitter oh wow oh god oh god we're not we've seen a lot of cocks on this feed but none of them are one's one you can imagine it looks sort of similar to those it was big okay it was it was a big one and he posted it from from his hospital bed um with the doctor who performed the surgery and you know he was really pleased with how it went he he called it a wonderful operation and in order to celebrate its success he decided to upload photos of his new bionic cock to the instagram account that he shared with olympia actually do his eagle um who presumably had no say in this really lazio also were not quite as impressed um as juan was and they sacked him on the spot along with the doctor he was a club doctor who performed the operation what did he ask the club doctor for a favor or something.

11:13Apparently so. So the club doctor then denied that he had been employed by Lazio, but the Lazio president literally came out and said that we fired the doctor at the speed of light. And he did have Lazio on his LinkedIn. Yeah. And he is a penile specialist. Yeah. Quite weird for the club doctor to be a penile specialist. It was quite weird for the club to have a penile specialist. Yeah, true. So please can you sort out Pedro's hamstring? extending the cock of our eagle handler. But yeah, so sadly, Juan lost his job. The doctor lost his job. And Lazio then announced that Juan Bernabe would also have to leave his flat at the training ground, which came with the job, which led him to barricade himself inside and refuse to leave.

12:04So I should say he did sometimes leave to eat and shag, presumably used his uh tools and was the eagle in there with him no the eagle was also taken i believe i really yeah yeah yeah i mean maybe not maybe maybe he stuck it back in there it was a sort of just living in there with mice frozen mice um but yeah so he's been been in there for the past six months and there's been this battle running in the rome um municipality courts uh juan has been claiming that he can't be moved out because of he's still recovering from this operation. Also, he's claiming unfair dismissal as well. But Lazio have made like several attempts over the past six months to kick him out unsuccessfully.

12:54But on Friday, they finally succeeded. So they turned up with police, lawyers and bailiffs and evicted him from the training complex. they also changed the locks on his flat so he can't get back in um so yeah it does sadly seem like it is the end of the road for poor juan yeah i did read that he'd done an appearance in seria d for a thousand euros did yeah not bad money not bad i think for a thousand euros you'd want to see the eagle land on his cock for that sort of cash yeah i mean to be honest i think i think he's probably going to be doing a lot of nightclub appearances now. So that kind of thing, depending on where you are.

13:35He'd actually go down well in Crystal Palace. Doing that? Yeah. Oh, the Eagles. Eagles. Yeah. Yeah. They do have an Eagle, I think. Actually, I saw a stat. After Juan was sacked and they stopped having this Eagle performance at the Stadio Olimpico, Lazio only won one more home league game all season. Shouldn't have sacked him. That one win happened on the day that Olympia flew at that Serie D match. You've got to stab her up somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Lazio haven't won a home league game without Olympia flying. Without her in the sky. And I bet attendances are down. Surely someone's snapping him up because he was at a Spanish club before, wasn't he?

14:19Yeah, he was. I forget which one. Yeah, he's had a bit of a checkered past. He also got suspended by Lazio for doing a fascist salute. Yeah, he's very right wing. I wish. You'd think we'd go down well. Maybe you could get a new sidekick if the eagle's gone. And then he's, you know, get a seagull and you can go and do Brighton. Brighton, yeah. A magpie, come up to Newcastle. The possibilities are endless. Yeah. Or it's, yeah, it's a UK club tour, isn't it? Yeah, with the Willstone Raider. The Willstone Raider, yeah. Actually, speaking of grossly offending Italian sensibilities, If there's one thing that really riles them up, it's tarnishing the good name of their cuisine.

15:04You only have to look as far as the uproar that happened when Jamie Oliver had the shameless audacity to throw a clove of garlic into his carbonara to see that they get pretty heated. And Weston McKinney, the Juventus and USA midfielder, he was already sort of in their bad books. so you might remember a few years ago Juventus were doing this all or nothing documentary and they were in the canteen and McKinney suggested to Giorgio Chiellini that he puts ranch sauce dressing on his pizza which you can imagine how that went down. Went down like a sack of shit yeah and he also pissed off pissed off Italians when he said that his favourite Italian dish was pasta pesto with tomato and chicken they're not gonna like that which to be honest I think sounds lovely he definitely puts cream in his carbonara yeah anyway Weston's currently over in the US back home for the Club World Cup with Juve they got knocked out last night actually by Real Madrid but maybe feeling safely ensconced in the bosom of home Weston felt empowered to to really go nuclear on Italian cuisine and he did an interview where he blasted the lack of variety in Italian food.

16:27So he said, you know what the problem is with Italian food? You guys don't have variety. It's pizza, pasta, fish, steak. In Italy, I go to this restaurant and I get some pesto pasta. I go 10 minutes down the street and order a pesto pasta. It's the same thing. Ouch. You could argue he should be ordering a different thing. Yeah. But anyway, after this affront to their cuisine, I imagine that grandmothers across the peninsula were reaching for their rolling pins, sharpening their mezzolunas to come for Western. But nobody was more riled than ex-Sampdoria keeper Emiliano Viviano, who absolutely let rip on Italian TV.

17:09So he said, how could you say there is no variety in Italian cuisine? His very definition of variety irritated me. McKinney there are 200 million of you Americans and all you ever eat are hamburgers and he carried on he said the truth is all the food in America was brought there by other nations the United States is the country with the worst food in the world they would even deep fry the soles of their shoes if I was Giorgio Malone the Italian Prime Minister I wouldn't let him back into Italy he's taking it well yeah exactly I think Weston needs to go down to see Scott McTominay down in Naples and try some of his tomatoes.

17:48I think so. Well, as we've discussed it. As we've discussed it. Surely he's getting a Stati Tucci tour of Italy travel show where they're just constantly proving to him they've got variety. Because he's trying to put ranch dressing on a sardine. Yeah. He's trying to make mac and cheese. To be honest, I think Weston's little tweaks on Italian food are probably quite delicious. Yeah, sure. if we're honest and it can be quite narrow Italian the range yeah I mean so I actually I read a read an article about this on what was the Get Italian Football or one of those websites and they were also they were doing giving the quotes but they were also defending it's like what Weston clearly has misunderstood is that what he's what he's describing in terms of having like not variety is in fact regional specifications and in fact all he needs to do is travel half an hour down the road to get a variety on the pasta pesto um whereas in new york you just probably call in an uber eat yeah yeah i mean america probably has more different international cuisines probably true again depends where you are yeah yeah yeah um actually timothy weir fellow usa international he was on this um podcast with western and he had a bit more of a diplomatic answer he said that he Italian-American cuisine, which is the kind of diplomacy he probably picked up from his dad, George Weir, the former World Player of the Year turned president of Liberia.

19:20Played for Chelsea as well. Yeah. Wasn't a great stint, was it? No, but I think he did like half a season. He scored a few goals though. It's a pretty impressive career turn that he's had. Actually enjoyed the moment two weeks ago, three weeks ago when Trump invited Juve to the Oval Office at the White House. And, you know, they're all standing behind him at his desk, the full squad, and you're expecting him to just, you know, let out a few platitudes about the Club World Cup, pat Infantino on the back. And instead he decides it's the opportune moment to outline his intentions to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities while you've got, like, Western McKinney and Yildaz behind him.

20:07they looked pretty confused yeah always good to get feedback from the Juve first team about your strategic plans it was just like quite like alarmed expressions nice to meet you Mr President Timothy Timothy Weir said I was caught by surprise honestly it was a bit weird when he started talking about the politics with Iran and everything it's kind of like I just want to play football man fair enough yeah it is fair enough but it's sort of the opposite of his dad really. He's kind of the ultimate turning football into a political career. I actually didn't realise that after George Weir became Liberian president in 2018, he played for Liberia again.

20:52No way. Did he call himself up? Yes, he was 51 at the time. He hadn't played for them for 15 years and then just turned out. I think, to be fair, I think it was a friendly that they organised. but against another country though I'm not sure yeah I presume so yeah did you see I don't know how much you've been up to date with football results while you're at Glastonbury the last five days have been a blur I haven't seen it well it's coming home isn't it it's come home it has come home again so England's under 21s they're over in Slovakia for the Euros and they won it again they defended their title it beat Germany 3-2 in the final go on lads there were some quite good clips of them coming back through the airport after the game for some reason the fa had decided that they'd get an ungodly 3 30 a.m flight back to the uk the ryanair the whiz air yeah yeah i wanted to beat the traffic why do they want is that just straight up the game ends at like 10 p.m or whatever and then i guess so yeah it must have been pretty much straight to the airport you've got to do a night in brataslava yeah exactly yeah yeah to be fair the players look absolutely bad I mean, if you've just won it and you know you've only got like four hours before your flight, you're going to get batted in.

22:08Quite a good clip. There was one of Jack Hinshelwood, the Brighton midfielder, I think he is, flailing around on this luggage conveyor belt, like struggling to stand up. Quite a good clip. Do you think...

22:27Do you think he thinks that's security and he's going to get like wheeled through?

22:34um there were more clips of them necking tinnies on the back it's tyler morton to be fair tyler morton looks like he's just about to land for glasgow yeah it does yeah yeah i was actually thinking that if you're coming through bratoslava airport in the early hours of sunday morning and you see a bunch of 20 year olds in england shirts and bucket hats then you probably think you probably think they're on their way to glasgow yeah just like some some students after their exams sort of of a piss up. Did they get any stick for this or was it just? Nah, I think it was all pretty good natured. What they deserved to.

23:07Yeah, fair enough. Yeah. But anyway, while England's next generation were belting out Sweet Caroline to an audience of sleep starved Pret-a-Manger customers, the other brand of Brits abroad were out in force in Ibiza. So the Oldham striker, Kian Harrod, was over there with his mates, staying in San Antonio, so Party Central. And we're celebrating a pretty big few weeks for him. So he scored the winner at Wembley a few weeks ago when Oldham got promoted via the playoffs to League Two. So, you know, it's cause for a trip to Ibiza. And him and his mates were generally just getting a little bit rowdy by the pool.

23:51According to some of the onlookers, they were throwing miniature rugby balls at women in the pool, splashing a bloke who was in there as well. and as you do as you do and this unsurprisingly led to a little bit of a scrap breaking out beside the pool there's two groups of lads squaring up to each other a few punches the throne and it all ends when kian holds a chair of the group and decks a woman who's actually trying to break up the fight we've got a clip of it here thing beats a jet two holiday and right now you can save 50 pounds per person that's 200 pounds off for a family of four we've got millions of free child play holidays available with 22 kilograms of baggage included the best bit is actually the start baby we go full screen she gets finished she does go over quite easy we've got millions of free child play holidays i love that someone's dubbed it with an ad so he knocked her down with the chair it's pretty pretty nasty he's um he came out on his uh on his tiktok and basically said that there was a woman antagonist no sorry there was a bloke antagonizing women around the pool yeah and uh one of his mates said something to him which then caused them to kick off and they were just sticking up for yeah that was that was his his defense it's the classic yeah somebody else started it yeah he also enjoyed one part of his his explanation for he said he's sorry that the woman got hurt but also she went down easily barely touched it sounds like she's a circa 2005 brazilian winger um just don't say that mate so basically he hit her by accident I think he was aiming for the blokes who were fighting with his mates but yes went down she looks just like how cold it looks like actually I was looking into Kian and it turns out that lobbing around a bit of pool furniture is vanilla compared to some of his previous offences so kind of seems like in Kian's spare time he's channeling a pesky medieval villager um going around yorkshire on poaching expeditions so 2022 he was arrested along with two mates while doing hair coursing in a field so it's basically he's using these lurcher dogs they're called these like greyhound type dogs um to hunt hares and they were doing this in someone's field really and got arrested by police for it and fined a ground for poaching and then again in December last year 2024 this time under cover of darkness he was again caught poaching on private farmland with dogs and and find again what a weird hobby it's quite like it's not a not an an offence you hear of I mean outside of the Roald Dahl book Danny the Champion of the World I can't remember the last time where they hair corset yeah it's pretty medieval stuff yeah we talked on our Patreon about fox tossing yeah I think it's in the same category Well, he likes chair tossing.

27:07He's got a good aim. Chairs and hairs. And he likes a party and a beef with the boys. So has he been fined by old him? What, for the chair tossing? Chair tossing or the hair coursing? I'm not sure. They said they're looking into it. I think a lot of people do actually do hair coursing still. Illegally? Yeah, as in poaching style. I'm sure you can do it illegally as well. But if you live in the right bit of countries, I think poaching is still quite big I thought hunting with dogs is banned That's only for foxes I'm pretty sure I read it It's illegal here You can do it in Ireland I'm no expert Just to clarify I haven't done it in my life What about badger baiting I think that's illegal We did a Patreon episode About blood sports.

28:05Horrible. So if that's your bag, medieval animal cruelty, then sign up to the Patreon. That's your poison.

28:15Back to something a little bit more wholesome, really. So Berlin's over 50s league is normally a pretty warm, family friendly affair. You've got these older football enthusiasts playing 60 minute matches on small pitches, trying to work out who is the king of the capital city's football veterans. But the league was engulfed in a scandal last week as a row broke out between the hated city rivals Hertha and Union Berlin. So final day of the season, Hertha had secured second place in the league, but Union were embroiled in a relegation dogfight. Things were looking up for them, though, when they secured a 4-1 victory against Berlina Mitter in their final game of the season.

29:05And now all that they had to do was hope that their relegation rivals, Croatia-Berlin, whose final game was kicking off an hour later, didn't win by six goals. And, you know, you're feeling pretty confident about that. Croatia-Berlin have been crap all season. But who were they playing but Hertha-Berlin? Things were looking good, though, for Union when Hertha raced into a 6-4 lead after 44 minutes. So it's only 16 minutes left on the clock. And two goals only. Two goals. They're winning by two goals. So it's looking like Union are going to have an escape. But then the unbelievable happened and Croatia banged in eight unanswered goals in the final 16 minutes and secured a 12-6 win.

29:53No fucking way. They got the six-goal-goal-difference swing that they needed and condemned Union to relegation. So, you know, for Union, this is an extremely unfortunate turn of events, especially because Hertha, up to that point, had the second-best defence in the whole league. They'd only conceded 38 goals for the whole season and then had now conceded eight in the final 60 minutes. There is no way that's coincidence. They're on the beach, maybe? You can say that, yeah. Second place was secured, so... But, you know, they scored three goals in stoppage time, apparently. Just banging them in one after one.

30:31Obviously, this set some tongues wagging in Berlin. Union suspected foul play about it. And they've actually lodged an official complaint to the league about it, which I think sounds fairly legit. Hertha's coach has denied that anything was up. He said, it was the worst game of my playing and coaching career. Do you think he's making like a wink as he says it? Yeah. It was only a crowd who saw it. I presume there was probably, I'm imagining they were grilling bratwurst by the side. There were some kids. If your business runs on five different apps, 12 browser tabs, and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch, it's probably time for Odoo.

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31:55Learn more at Odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com. Every game day, you show up for your team. Now, it's your time. We go V! We go V! Ask your prescriber about WeGoV, semaglutide injection 2.4 milligrams, a GLP-1. Call 1-833-4-WeGoV or visit WeGoV.com to view the medication guide and to learn more about WeGoV. Why wait? WeGoV!

32:32This episode is brought to you by State Farm. No two football players are exactly alike, and the same is true off the field. that's why State Farm gets to know you so they can help personalise coverage for your life and budget like a good neighbour, State Farm is there it's running around so are they ex-pros in this league or is it just like general punters? I don't think so, I think it's like people who you know I mean at that level there is a slim chance that they could let that amount of goals in there is a chance yeah, I mean this was the manager's argument was that they're getting on. Maybe the legs had gone towards the end of the game.