The Beckhams: a bunch of spicy bints (with Finlay Christie)

33:08Energy for life. I became president, led a racial revolution. but meeting the Spice Girls. Me and Jerry Hallamore was still, you can't really top that again. They are, and they're not even the best singers, but they're hard working. Getting molested by the Spice Girls was my proudest moment. Do you think this had anything to do with, because he split up with his wife very quickly after coming out, right? Winnie.

33:31Finlay Christie:It's the classic fame thing, isn't it? It's the classic fame you get. I mean, it's Victoria Beckham, really. He's Winnie as Mark Wood. Yeah. Let's go to the cup park. There is a cup park outside. You will love it. yeah yeah my words is winnie mandela basically it's just like i'm big now i hang out with mega he's hanging out with the spice girls yeah when he's installing it's not gonna cut it yeah um so this is sort of spice gold peak really uh late 90s they also uh become film stars they're really spice wild the movie right so now i've never heard of this oh really how old are you i'm 26 okay yeah i'm 10 years older than you because i remember it my sister was a massive Spice Girls fan and it's I mean it's a shite film but it's got Richard E.

34:16Finlay Christie:Grant apparently Jerry pinched Prince Charles' ass at the premiere yeah love that but also that I mean that shows how much of a big deal it was and they were that Prince Charles is going to the premiere of Spice World yeah but that's the whole sort of cool Britannia thing isn't it the establishment and like the arts and sport all combine didn't we were having a conversation before apparently Tony Blair turned down a cameo in the movie no it was in Wannabe the music video oh sorry it's wannabe yeah because they're like roughing up all these sort of like posh looking guys so I think he would have been made to look a bit frumpy and he didn't he didn't want that no and that was when she turned turned Tory turned Euro Skeptic yeah yeah if you're not gonna do the fucking music video John Major would have done this yeah you can forget about the single currency yeah I like that Prince Charles that was sort of a cheeky moment do you know what I mean yeah do you think now it would be received differently if Prince William had his arse pinched probably not nah I don't think so yeah did they pinch Mandela's arse as well looks like he got more than an arse pinch yeah yeah judging by his quotes arse pinch is getting off lightly in terms of what they do to the Spice Girls what we've heard ask Taj Jackson yeah he knows all about arse pinching yeah after that the Spice Girls head off on a massive wild tour away for quite a long time David's missing her a lot apparently he sends her flowers every day during the tour I don't like that which I don't like that why It'll make you feel like a bad partner.

35:42Finlay Christie:Do you know what? Deep down, that's probably the real reason I don't like that. That's why I don't like it. Yeah, because I didn't get my wife anything for her birthday. I think it's just too much. It's stalkery. I know she won't receive it in a stalkery way, but it's just a bit like... It's needy. Yeah, yeah. And it's almost controlling. My issue is that it's a waste of flowers. Yeah, true. Because I think you're supposed to keep flowers for a couple of weeks. Yeah, like a week. And that's when the next member of the Beckham clan comes onto the scene. Yeah, it's Brooklyn time. 1999 he's born.

36:11Finlay Christie:Same as me. Same year. What's the day? Should we check? June 7th. 4th of March. God, just three months and three days before you. Yeah, so Brooklyn's born in 1999. Apparently, there's a common perception that they conceived him in Brooklyn, New York, and that's why it's called Brooklyn, but apparently they just like the name. I'm surprised he's not called Car Park. Car Park, better. NCP. Anyway, he's born in March, and then a few months later, David having just won the treble, they have the lavish wedding. Major media event of 1999, I would say. We've talked about aspects of it quite a lot on our David Beckham pod and elsewhere.

36:53Finlay Christie:David obviously misses his own stag do because he wants to be with Posh and Brooklyn. It's the night before the wedding. Kind of sweet. You probably think that that's needy. I think having a stag do the night before a wedding is weird, so I kind of get that from his perspective. And he's not a big drinker, But I think just don't have a stag do. Don't bail at the last minute. Anyway, it's a bit wet. The wedding itself is Robin Hood themed. I wasn't expecting that. No. Why do you have a themed wedding? I quite like it. I'd quite like to have a themed wedding. My next one will be themed. Medieval themed.

37:25Finlay Christie:Yeah, medieval. I'll be borrowing that suit of armor from Vicky's dad. What does Robin Hood themed mean? Well, apparently it was like a lot of green, a lot of ivy and apples. I think it was quite a loose theme because it was also velvet thrones purple and gold drapes and gold statues I can kind of see that but then apparently there was loads of leopard and zebra print I guess the leopard and zebra leopard and zebra print that's not Robin Hood Robin Hood set in a for instance I've seen I thought it was like pimp you know 80s pimp it's very gaudy they're in matching purple outfits we're looking at even Brooklyn and he's got I thought it was a cowboy hat but it's a top hat purple poor boy Gary Neville's got quite a fryer tuck look about him actually although Bobby Charlton was there so if you're doing Friday talk that's nailed on for it yeah apparently they didn't drink they were stone cold sober which their catty biographer says is because they wanted to stay up late and select which photos to release to the press which is fucking depressing but it's depressing I don't know if that's the actual I don't think they're big drinkers yeah Posh says she likes the odd tequila but yeah then the speeches Victoria's dad actually does a great line he does a very nice sweet speech quite funny and he does deliver one killer line.

38:34Finlay Christie:He says, it's well-known David saw a pop video on TV and turned to his mate Gary and said, I'm going to marry her. Unfortunately, it was Louise from Eternal and Jamie Redknapp got there first. It's quite a good gag. David's next up. He does a speech, which as you can imagine is extremely sweet and earnest. And then Gary Neville's up next who opens his speech with this line. He points at David and says, he speaks well at Julian Clary, doesn't he? Julian Clary being a very famous. See, I know that one. very camp comedian so is that literally him just being like gay? I also think the hair is quite and the flamboyant because Julian Clary, did he wear a bit of makeup?

39:13Yeah he did

39:14Finlay Christie:it's literally you're wearing purple, you're gay it's a gay joke anyway it's not all glad tidings from their nearest and dearest because the press on the eve of the wedding tracked down poor old Mark Woods Victoria's jilted ex and here's the description from the press. It's quite sad. Mark, sitting in the one-bedroom, £43 ,000 Hertford flat that he bought for the two of them, commented, if I had married her, our kid would probably be called Bournemouth or Blackpool, not Brooklyn. They travel the world. Yesterday, I went to Rotherham on business. Lucky escape. Yeah, there's some good humour there.

39:54Finlay Christie:Was that fed to him by a journalist? It's a good line if he came up with it. It's quite witty. I quite like that he's still able to dine out on this and cash in a little bit, because presumably he got a bit of money for the quote, or do you think he's just happy to charge? Completely humiliating himself. It's quite self-deprecating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's better than laying into her for a boob job. Anyway, the Beckhams then put Mark's jives behind them, have a lovely wedding, and settle into domestic bliss. Posh gives an interview to the press saying that both she and David are breastfeeding. which leads to chance.

40:31Finlay Christie:I think she meant that David is bottle feeding Brooklyn but it ends up sounding like David is feeding on her breasts. But, you know, she's obviously living a bit more of a family to look after but music is still Victoria's passion really. And in 2000, she launches her solo career. So her debut single is Out of Your Mind with Dane Bowers.

40:59Finlay Christie:I just don't remember the verse. Is this the most year 2000 thing I've ever seen? I was not expecting the auto-tune. Yeah. It's really harsh. It's not a great thing, is it? That is literally... Is that Morpheus from The Matrix? It's like a Matrix-themed video, but I swear they just flashed up Morpheus or a lookalike. R &B videos do kind of look like... Yeah. Every JLS video looks like it's shot in some kind of, like, you know base matrix basement warehouse and everything's very purple and black and like this video yeah yeah so she later tells the press that dane had written that song in three hours which three whole hours yeah haters would say yeah probably shows victoria is desperate for this song to get number one uh she actually comes out and tells fans that david beckham has got a cameo on the song which who was he?

41:53I didn't see him was he White Morpheus? yeah he was the White Morpheus

41:56Finlay Christie:maybe I think the idea is that he's singing very softly in one bit yeah he's on backing vocals it'd be quite funny if you really listen to it and that's just a bit where it's like out of your mind obviously David Bowden yeah maybe he does maybe he did some backing vocals but I think it is an attempt to cash in on some of the Man United fans she also goes on Scottish radio and addresses her child fans. She says, if you have any pocket money left, help me out. Oh God. It's like some sort of like UNICEF appeal. Helping a multi-millionaire sell a few more records. So that's, she's ambitious guys. Yeah.

42:38I like the idea of these Scottish children just scraping around their last pennies to get the album. Pawning the love's jewellery to support posh. Unfortunately for Victoria, she's in a chart battle against Groove Jet by Sophie Ellis Baxter. The press dub this battle Posh vs. Posher. That's good. Which is good. That's quite a good song. That's a banger. That is a good one. I don't know. Maybe I've heard it. This ain't love. Why does it feel so? Why does it feel so? Oh, I do know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was expecting to do this much singing today. I would have practiced. Yeah, that one is that is a banger and it triumphs.

43:17Sophie wins the chart battle. And actually, Victoria's album doesn't do that well. So it costs five million to produce it. Presumably the record label rather than her money. But it only sells a measly 50 ,000 copies.

43:33Finlay Christie:Is five million a normal amount of money to spend on a major pop album? I know it flopped. Five million, but you're writing songs in three hours. Yeah. What are the costs? I mean, did you see the video? Yeah, true. The video absolutely slaps. so say what you want about the song 5 million on that one video money well spent art yeah the rest they had to knock up in 3 hours ran out of budget they made the video first they're doing that in silence all that dancing I feel like music videos were quite a big deal back then weren't they because of MTV yeah yeah yeah spunk the budget on that the poor album sales though were despite David's best efforts apparently every time he passed the V shop Virgin Record Shop in Manchester he'd pick up a copy of the album.

44:21I think that's sweet which is really sweet. Because it's cheap

44:26Finlay Christie:I've got no, yeah exactly, flowers now 50 quid I think that's quite nice. Yeah apparently the manager of the branch gave them special dispensation to stock the album for years afterwards even though nobody was buying it apart from David just in case he popped by to pick up a copy. So what's sweet about that if she doesn't even know he's doing it. He's just trying to support her. He goes out, buys the album, chucks it in the next bin. He's got a bag of them in the attic. He's going to find it one day.

44:58Meanwhile, Posh is burning a few bridges herself. So Bex, he has this big falling out with Sir Alex Ferguson, the Man United manager. Famous, like throws the, Fergie throws the boot at him. and around that time Posh is interviewed by Jerry Springer and Jerry asks her who would she say from drowning Jerry Hallowell or Sir Alex Ferguson and she replies I'd let them both drown because Jerry's left

45:28Finlay Christie:the Spice Girls in a cloud yeah so they hate her yeah that's a great question from Jerry Springer yeah great answer yeah yeah yeah it's a great answer and that's quite funny do you know what I mean quite bold and funny that's the side of posh I hadn't really seen before yeah she's actually having quite a tricky few years around this time isn't she she makes a couple of follow up albums and neither get released which is a slap I thought she'd be powerful enough to just get them but maybe she doesn't another 10 million yeah chalk it up and of course this is when Bex moves to Madrid having fallen out with Alex Ferguson oh now she's surrounded by bloody Spaniards she hates Spanish people you know what she said about them according to a Spanish newspaper, she said Spanish people smell like garlic.

46:15Finlay Christie:They put it on the front page. So having just... I think he's moved there. She hasn't even moved there yet. And now everyone hates her. She denies saying it. Do you reckon she said that? Maybe as a joke, she does hate Europe. Yeah. I'm not surprised at all. I don't want their smelly laws. I smell of garlic and I don't believe in the common agricultural policy. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, if you're a bit Brexit, it means Brexit. You probably think they all smell as well. Yeah. I still don't know if I think she said it, but it's, I don't know. It does for her in Spain. She probably was like, I didn't say that, but it does sound like me.

46:55Yeah,

46:55Finlay Christie:but it's actually, I mean, I do agree with it. Anyway, so she gives those Pongy Spaniards a wide berth, stays in London. Meanwhile, David is really... Pongy Spaniards is a rival girl group. Yeah. spicy bins yeah Pongy Spaniards is a boy group I think of quite sort of they've got their shirts off yeah anyway David is really immersing himself in Madrid life possibly a little bit too much because of course this is when he is allegedly having an affair with Rebecca Luce his PA which we've talked about so many times on this pod we've done all the horrible texts so we're not going to get too much into that obviously Posh forgives him for that whole scandal.

47:40Finlay Christie:Their marriage survives it. Although, according to Ned Kelly, who's a bit of a friend of the pod, he's the indiscreet Man United security chief who wrote a tell-all book. He claims to a tabloid that Posh herself had a man in Italy. Not so Eurosceptic now. He doesn't hate everything the continent has to offer. A man in Italy. So I guess she's there a lot for fashion stuff. is she doing a lot of fashion this way yeah the fashion's sort of about to kick off we're about to get into that so maybe and just you know they travel yeah I mean he he's just he's a tank of oregano it goes it goes to the show you can be you can be David Beckham and still you gotta watch out for these Italian men yeah yeah no one's safe no one is they're just sexier anyway meanwhile when she's not seeing her swarthy fella in Italy she does she does do the odd Spice Girls reunion they get together they do something for the Olympics don't they in London and they're in the opening she sings at the opening ceremony I think yeah and of course she's very busy with her fashion brand which really is very respected I know nothing about fashion but I understand it's very respected and the clothes are great apparently well it is a bit of a money pit so I looked at the accounts and as of 2024 it's lost 71 million pounds just gone Jesus that's that's a lot of money to be singing to no wonder she wanted money from Scottish kids gotta shake down the children yeah Well, luckily, there is one real business brain in the family.

49:12Finlay Christie:Brooklyn. Yeah, so Brooklyn actually did try a career in football, much like his dad. He was in the Arsenal Academy for a while. I actually saw a clip of him the other day, like hitting the crossbar with a shot. He actually looked decent. I mean, he was trying to score. He looked decent. I always thought that he was... It wasn't crossbar challenge. No, this was, yeah. Anorak. Yeah. But I always thought he was hopeless. I don't know why, but... Yeah, I mean, because he didn't make it. But I think he was decent. Didn't quite make the grade at Arsenal and left in 2015. And so instead, he took the natural next step and went into photography.

49:58And clearly, Brooklyn was an absolute generational talent because in 2016, when he's just 16, uh he manages to shoot his first campaign for burberry which you know you've got to be a serious talent to do that that's the kind of thing that you know people be talented most photographers that's a once in a career a pinnacle of your career really to to get a gig like that there were some people who complained about nephotism but you know it's sour grapes isn't it haters will hate right i actually looked at the pictures they looked all right there i don't know anything about photography or fashion, but they look good.

50:35Yeah. He's got a nice camera. Surely that's all you need, really, to be good at photography. Yeah. I mean, how much is there to it? That's kind of my... I mean, I have shit taking pictures. Hot Burberry models in nice clothes.

50:48Finlay Christie:Yeah, and it gets edited, doesn't it? Yeah. They look tight. But it is still amazing that he managed to do it. Yeah. Because he is, you know, every video I've seen of him, it's like he doesn't really know that he's alive. and it's and it's I it is actually I still wouldn't trust him to take a picture of a hot of a hot model yeah or you think he'd like get her feet or his thumb would be over you know like he'd just get take pictures of her feet yeah it's all David sorry but Brooklyn these are all pictures of her feet why these are sticky these pictures are sticky yeah Brooklyn keep going David after that he actually he actually signs up for a four year photography degree at the design school in New York.

51:31So he wants to hone his trade. He does drop out after less than a year. Doesn't complete the first year. But to be fair to him, why bother? Well, Zuckerberg got that. Exactly. Exactly. And that very same year, he'd already published the seminal What I See, that his photography... Hold it up to a camera. We've got a copy of it here. So, you know, he's got nothing more to learn, really. should we have a little flick through see what he sees so I picked up some of my favourites from here what does he see well a lot a lot of nice holidays is what he sees most famously of all there's the elephant photo so we're looking at a picture of an elephant I mean come on completely in shadow the caption is elephants in Kenya so hard to photograph but incredible to see he doesn't you can't even see it what i don't see yeah that's a silhouette it's a silhouette so hard to photograph even even for a burberry it's sort of your job mate you can tell from that picture that's it was about to be in the sun and he took the picture right before it walked into the sun but it's still in the shadow yeah for god's sake also are they hard to photograph they're like one of the largest land mammals yeah I mean Google images famously slow moving yeah if anything they're quite easy to photograph also presumably he was just on a safari and brought his camera surely he took more pictures than that was that the best one there are to be fair there are some other pictures oh yeah that elephant you can see that is a nicer one it's a bit cut off it's a bit cut off I love this image you can't tell what he's thinking but you know he has a great story it's like humans of New York if he just took the photo and just moved on yeah yeah didn't ask him anything about himself he didn't ask him what he was thinking yeah you can't I can't I can't really tell what he's thinking

53:27Finlay Christie:if only I knew there's quite a lot of you can tell yeah this photo is shit but you can tell yeah a good one could have been done yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah it's quite endearing quite just like there's an innocence to him that is endearing really that's what makes you love someone it's nice it's the sort of book that you would get your kids printed out if they'd you know they've got a camera for Christmas and you get a book printed like a present for them. And then Penguin publish it. When they're like seven, not when they're 16. True. Yeah, you give them a little disposable camera, you make a little book for them and then you publish it.

54:02Yeah. And you sell, you bring out 100 ,000, 100 ,000 copies, stock them at Waterstones. That's the normal thing to do, isn't it? So after photography, he finds his second calling as a professional chef. So starts out just posting cooking videos on his own Instagram. But he's quickly picked up by NBC, where he delights his American hosts with a dish my great grandmother taught me. So you're probably wondering what closely guarded recipe handed down by generations of Beckham's Brooklyn would serve up. It was a bacon, egg and sausage sandwich. We've got a clip of him cooking it on NBC. Did you grow up eating this, Brooklyn?

54:48Yeah, so actually my great-grandma taught me. So that's really special to me. So after you've got your eggs all cooked up, why don't we put it together?

54:56Finlay Christie:Yes, literally a bacon. What have you got? So I first put the sausage. I first put the sausage. Not even ciabatta, just like white bread. Pre-sliced. Oh, my God. Yes, pork on pork. Come on, OK. Bacon and then the egg. OK. The moon's over my hand. Yeah. I like hilarious. Heterious. Oh, very nice. That's a good touch. That's a good touch. Everyone around him is like, you're doing amazing. This is great. I like the way they're like, oh, okay, right. Did you hear that bit? He goes, I always like to squish it down. It's sort of his twist. Push the sandwich together. My great-grandmother used to, a little trick I like to do, I just squish it down.

55:40So off the back of that CBS appearance, Brooklyn launches a video series for Vogue called Cooking with Brooklyn, which sort of rhymes. Yeah. It's close enough. Cooklin. Yeah. It's basically student cooking for millionaires. There was another one I liked where he makes this like spaghetti dish, but he makes it, he like cooks the spaghetti and then puts it into a 500 pound wheel of Parmesan. I've seen that. I've seen that. And he can't do it at first. The first five minutes of the video Of him like not Is him not being able To get the cheese wheel Out of the bloody thing And the dish is ultimately Just a bit of spaghetti With cheese and parsley It's cheesy pasta Student Student pasta Student fodder Yeah but he's made it expensive Is that the idea He would say That's the problem With the cheesy pasta It's not expensive Yeah it's not 500 quid Yeah Yeah I'll knock that Knock one of those up at home Are the people around him Taking the piss You know like on NBC They're being like Oh that is amazing Are they As he's squirting ketchup All over the table All over the table just humoring him apparently the Vogue series Cooking with Brooklyn had 62 people working on it each episode cost a hundred grand hundred thousand dollars fucking hell okay see that sort of thing so there's at least a couple of them are having a little snigger behind his back yeah to be fair it is more exciting than his mum's cooking so she basically the only thing she eats is grilled fish and steamed vegetables so I actually I spoke to someone who works in fashion and has done a shoot with Victoria and apparently every day at lunchtime a courier on a motorbike arrives with her grilled fish and steamed vegetables to deliver.

57:20Deliveroo. They sound fancy. Miserable deliveroo. Yeah. Wasn't there, I remember another quote from David Beckham saying that one night they like went out to a restaurant and Victoria had a steak or something and he described it as one of the happiest days of his life. Because he's quite a good cook I think. he does a lot of cooking

57:39Finlay Christie:and she's not that interested yeah yeah it's a depressing life living off that food apparently her her go-to after school snack for the kids was mixed seeds soaked in organic aminos sounds like sounds like calm doesn't it mixed seeds soaked in organic aminos it's basically calm yeah probably about it's delicious yeah then you like cook that and it's almost like the world's shittest like biscuit it, I think. Do you know what I mean? It's like crispy seeds. That's a garnish at best. It sounds horrible, doesn't it? Delicious organic aminos. Right, so she's pretty hardcore on the food. Anyway, while people laugh at Brooklyn's cookery, it did win the heart of one person.

58:27Finlay Christie:The lovely Nicola Peltz who is arguably one of the few people who's even more of a nepo baby than him. So her dad is a hedge fund billionaire in America. and she's an actress um they met they met at coachella in 2017 hard to imagine i guess i feel like coachella is quite like celebby yeah they were definitely in the like yeah they weren't in tents i don't think anyone in the mud yeah you know that meme of like an english person at festival and they've got like a toilet seat around their neck in like mud yeah probably they're pinging shagging in a tent like covered in mud doing doing loons yeah I think it would be a slightly different vibe.

59:06Finlay Christie:Yeah. But anyway, they met there, but it took a couple of years before they bumped into each other again at Leonardo DiCaprio's Halloween party. Oh my God. As you do, that's where I met my partner as well. Yeah, yeah. I guess everyone there was probably about Brooklyn and Nicola's age, apart from Leo. About 30 years older than everyone else there. Is that soft play? Anyway, they hit it off, never looked back, got married in 2022 in Florida. apparently they went through six different wedding planners because they kept falling out with them and firing them it was proper sort of bride and groomzilla stuff i can imagine them being pretty demanding as a as a happy couple there was a bit of drama i think because one of the wedding planners who got fired uh they then hired like the florist's friend or something and then a couple of months later there was this like wedding planners convention and they're like the one one of the wedding planners he got fired stood up during the florist talk and started like you bastard you like you turned on me like a really big scene at this wedding planners conference so that's even the even the planners are falling out yeah yeah apparently brooklyn um was quite demanding about he wanted personalized burgers for every guest how do you personalize it oh it's brooklyn's my dad loves a bit ketchup on his I thought we'd personalise it all over the table my great aunt just loves mustard my great grandma used to fuck up burgers exactly like this I've had this crazy idea that we could like put a gherkin in it for this one we're just gonna press it down what I like to do is just squish it down but yeah naturally there was some drama at the wedding quite big drama so apparently Victoria and Nicola, so mother of the groom and the bride fell out because she wouldn't let Victoria design her wedding dress and then it actually got quite bad nicola got really upset i think fair enough this so victoria's friend mark anthony he's a singer like latin singer he did a speech i'm not sure why and he apparently made the whole speech about victoria and then um he called up victoria and brooklyn to do the first dance as a mother and son couple which i actually think is bang out of order yeah that's pretty weird that is weird i think nicola's got every ride to be fucked off by that.

1:01:26Finlay Christie:They've properly fallen out. We mentioned another funny thing about this wedding before in the pub, which is that apparently when Brooklyn got up to do his speech, he was going to read it off his phone and he stood up and then he goes, oh, I forgot to charge my phone. So I've got my other phone. Mum, you forgot to charge my phone. What he really is pretending, he just can't read. He's just pretending. I'll just talk about what I see instead. Yeah, but actually, this has led to quite a big falling out between Brooklyn, Nicola and the rest of the Beckhams. So Brooklyn wasn't there for Bex's knighthood.

1:02:00Finlay Christie:Wasn't there for Bex's big 50th birthday. And they're basically estranged, is the talk. The gossip. And supposedly it's this Nicola and Victoria really hate each other. That's sad because I don't feel like Brooklyn is one to hold the grudge. No. It seems quite sweet. It's kind of being framed in the press as a bit of a Harry and Meghan relationship with the rest of the family. Nicola's actually a legit actress I should say I called her a nepo baby earlier but she was in Bates Motel Transformers haven't seen either but by all accounts she was great she also wrote and directed her own film Lola which is slightly less well reviewed and among the cast was Brooklyn Beckham who was given a minor speaking role unfortunately it didn't go too well so Nicola told an interviewer he had one line hi but he kept saying it in a British accent and was staring directly into the camera.

1:02:53Finlay Christie:So he ended up on the chopping block. Poor old brookers. To be fair to him, he was just trying to put himself as... He used to be on the other side of the lens, isn't he? He was just trying to, you know, staring straight at the camera. It's like, what do they see? Yeah. What do they see? Also in his cooking shows, he's told to look down the camera, so it's confusing. Exactly. Yeah, instincts kick in. I imagine that it's all... He's got like animal brain. It's just all reflexes. Yeah. He doesn't have like the processing part of his brain. He just does what feels right. Just the lizard. He sees the camera and he just...

1:03:25Shiny lights. A weak smile. Again, it's quite charming. He ended up on the cutting room floor for that film. Yeah, he didn't make the cut. Sad for him. Because that would have been another string to his bow. Yeah, he's an actor now. Not to be though. Obviously, there's a couple of other... Another three siblings, in fact. Romeo is the next oldest after Brooklyn. and he followed the football route for a while. He was on the books at Brentford. He was decent, I think. He was in Brentford's B squad for a while. Their Premier League team, yeah. He was on the B team. Was he into Miami for a bit? He was.

1:04:04I think so, yeah. Went back and bought them. Yeah.

1:04:06Finlay Christie:When his dad bought the team. When his dad invented the team. Pumped 200 million in. Yeah, that's not great. I have actually seen a video of him taking a free kick, and it is exactly like David Beckham. He looks quite a lot like him. Yeah. Romey's a shit name though isn't it they're all shit names yeah for a human being it's a shit name which Beckham name would you most want not the you can't have the parents you've got to be one of Cruz Harper Brooklyn or Rodeo probably Cruz yeah Cruz is probably the least people would be like but then it has that thing you sound Mexican and you're a white guy yeah Hola es mi Cruz yeah I think you the others they're all actually surnames Harper's fairly normal it's very American yeah it's a bit American jock isn't it Upper East Side banker in the 80s yeah I think I'd go Cruz but yeah Romeo sadly doesn't make it at Brentford he was cut from the B team I think he's doing modelling now he's probably the best looking I think he's a hottie apparently also had a bit of a feud with Brooklyn they're all estranged it seems he's getting very hello magazine that was there but the gossip is that his girlfriend used to go out with one of Brooklyn's mates yeah and they're angry about Romeo going out with her yeah but basically Brooklyn's not part of the whole thing at the moment no which considering they're like such a unit they're always all on mass I love this this sports podcast is so girly isn't it yeah that's at the catty around you see the way he looked at Nicola at the wedding his girlfriend used to go and put this face Brooklyn is not huffing oh my god we don't believe football once no I think Alex Ferguson was mentioned yeah Cruz he's taken the music route it's always with them it's going to be one of those sets music sport bacon sandwiches yeah yeah yeah seen some clips and I actually think he's decent it's quite sort of like psychedelic-y rock

1:06:20yeah

1:06:21Finlay Christie:it's a bit of John Lennon solo yeah it's like late Beatles isn't it it's just because of the reverb it's a bit Tame Impala yeah I think that's quite good yeah I'd listen to that it sounds quite John Lennon late Beatles yeah and you're right Tame Impala yeah it's like overproduced Beatles yeah I quite like that yeah I think it's I think it's good the lyrics good I haven't looked lyrics I couldn't really make out the lyrics to be honest don't worry about that but judging by some of his later lyrics I wouldn't put too much faith in them naturally when any Beckham puts anything online it attracts some inevitable haters so under one of Cruiser's videos someone whose username is CR7 Reds commented are you going to stick with this job or are you going to become a race car driver next or something uh to which cruise responded wrong brother mate that's good stuff that was funny he's quite mean on his brother yeah i like it didn't he also someone else gave him shit and he just said take a look at your face love didn't he in that oh yeah there was yeah he's just just slagging off she was like he was like nikki mate have you seen yourself have a look at your face love love bit less elegant yeah it's good it's good that it's like that kind of music as well because if it's like sad singer-songwriter stuff, which I feel like if Brooklyn was making music, it would be kind of fake deep.

1:07:49It would be like Lewis Capaldi. Yeah. Shit version of Lewis Capaldi. It would be love songs for Nicola. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are signs that Cruz maybe needs to work on his lyric writing though. So we talked about this in another pod, but at David Beckham's knighthood celebration party, Cruz performed a song that he'd written specially for his dad. The lyrics are, it sounds quite chat GPT to me. King Charles came to David Beckham and knighted him, my man, because Sir Dave's the man who can. You're a knight, you get my heart tonight. You're a knight in shining armour, yeah. You're a knight in shining armour, yeah.

1:08:28Finlay Christie:Maybe he just knocked it up right before. It's weird that he calls his dad David Beckham in a song. Yeah. King Charles came to David Beckham and knighted him, my man. What does he mean by my man, like that? And he goes, and why is that? because sir Dave's the man who can. He can. Because sir Dave's the man who can. He can. Yeah. It's quite generic. Yeah, I don't know what the tune is. Based on the clip we've seen, it's a sort of psychedelic. Just came to David Beckham and added him my man. Guitar solo. It needs the my man, actually. Yeah. Now that I've said it out loud. Maybe he added that once he'd written the melody.

1:09:04Yeah. How old's Cruise? He is 20.

1:09:07Finlay Christie:Oh, he's only 20. He's 20. Wow. Yeah, I sort of believe in Cruise. yeah and then there's Harper and there's Harper who is only 14 yeah well maybe we'll give her a break I don't really know much about Harper she's 14 she's 14 I'm sure she's lovely and that's the story of the Beckham clan amazing who's your favourite should we end on that Harper yeah yeah I think Cruise for me for reasons I've given yeah I think he's got the most natural talent yeah I guess not including posh Brooklyn has to be my favourite yeah I just there's There's an innocence You know like When you see like A cute video of a dog In the top comments Like not a thought Behind those eyes That's how I feel about Brooke Just living in the moment Yeah He's just Yeah I think him on a travel program Would be really good He's obviously very well travelled Yes But just him in like Situations like that Oh yeah Absolutely Yeah But also he's probably Been everywhere already Yeah Yeah nothing will surprise him He's got a house Wherever he's travelling He's already got a house there But he forgot He just didn't know Yeah Do you know what I mean I'd like to see him Just sort of like In spontaneous situations I want to see him In the Middle East Yeah I want to see Brooklyn In Gaza Yeah You know On the front lines It could be sort of Trying to get Hamas To like him Do you know what I mean Yeah Showing them pictures Yeah yeah yeah Making them sandwiches They're like Bacon sandwiches Honestly my nan loved it You'll love it no no no try it trust me it's great some sausage as well put that in

1:10:47yeah I think he's my favourite as well he's just Brooklyn Beckham would he's just sweet he would offer Hamasa a bacon sandwich a sausage sandwich that would make a good doc I think or him going around and them teaching him

1:11:00Finlay Christie:yeah I'd also like him you know that one of like he would be radicalised yeah he would on the first day by accident he would just on the first day he would be like I really like these guys they seem really nice you know their ideas and you know and also it would help me get away from my family like he is Brooklyn Beckham is the kind of person that ISIS and Hamas need really 72 virgins yeah yeah I think you're right he'd also be good on that TV format where they like put a secret millionaire working in a factory type thing oh yeah I just want to see him fish out of water yeah I want to see him and he would love to do that as well because he would think that he could do it yeah do you think I think he'd he'd be given away straight away though surely I don't think that's why it would be great but he wouldn't realise that he's given it away when's my driver coming yeah alright well I'm starting my cruise because I think he's going places watch this space well thank you very much if you haven't already watched his special then go there right now there's a link in the show notes Aura Farmer it's very very funny and actually your YouTube channel is filled with filled with shit yeah comic joy loads of loads of mirth you can see his cooking videos his psychedelic rock oh yeah my holiday photos uh zach thanks a lot thank you and thank you very much for listening if you enjoyed this then please do share it with all your friends i'm sure you've got lots of friends who are into the beckhams and it really helps us grow the channel and finally as it's christmas time i'm going to leave you with the dulcet tones of mr cruise beckham's Christmas hit from about eight years ago, if every day was Christmas.

1:12:39So young. I can be with you Underneath the mistletoe Kiss it when nobody knows Treat Dad this Father's Day with great gifts from an art. From levels, nailers and drills, the complete ending project, to tool chests, recliners and grills. We've got the perfect gifts to make this Father's Day one to remember. Stop by your local Menards today and save big money on gifts for dad. Plus, check out our weekly flyer on Menards.com for all the great deals happening now. Save big money at Menards.