The secrets & scandals of England's 2006 World Cup squad

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1:46From shagging grannies to battering DJs, meet England's last golden generation. Welcome back to The Upshot. My name is Jack. And I'm Zach. This is the second part of our series ranking the most scandalous World Cup sides ever. Last time it was Brazil. It was Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, scratch card scammer. It was a good one. We gave it seven out of ten. Seven out of ten on the scandal scale. Yeah. So that was Brazil 02. Check out the video if you haven't. But this next lot are more than a match. It's England's golden generation, 2006. Yeah. So from this squad, we're going to pick a lineup of 11 Roggins.

2:25going to try and fit him into a proper formation. And we'll see how they fare up against the Brazilians on the old scandal-o-meter. I think they're going to win. There's no weak links in scandal terms. Yeah, I mean, who's the Ronaldo? Who's the Ronaldinho in this team? I can think of several, particularly in the attacking formation. But I mean, honestly, the defence is absolutely mental. It certainly is. Right, who's first? Jamie Carragher is your right back. He was in the squad. he later gained infamy for spitting in a child's face while driving home from a man united liverpool game famous incident but in his younger days he was seriously wild and never more so than at an infamous liverpool christmas party in 1998 which was held at strip club as you do you know festive it's the season yeah uh and it was fancy dress jamie came as the hunchback of notre dame it's Not very Christmasy, is it?

3:20Yeah, it's not. I mean, wait to see what happens next. It's not very Christmasy, Zach. A tabloid journalist snuck in and this is how they described what they saw. Liverpool idol Jamie Carragus shambled and lurched under the weight of a fancy dress hunchback outfit as he prowled around a nervous stripper at the most debauched Christmas party ever to shame soccer. Prowled around a nervous stripper. Why? This sounds like it's happening on some kind of like David Attenborough document. Again, what happens next is pretty animalistic. Then the 20 year old star whipped off his hump, stripped off his clothes and exploded in a sex crazed frenzy as fans and friends descended into a thrashing mass of naked bodies.

4:06God, Jamie Carragher in a sex crazed frenzy. That's a scary thought. Thrashing mass. You know, there's medieval pictures of hell. Hieronymus Bosch. Anyway, it carries on. Jamie ends up getting smothered in whipped cream. He shags a stripper in front of all his teammates, loads of their friends, while other guests who are dressed as Ainsley Harriot and Ronald McDonald also get in on the action. God, Ronald McDonald at a Christmas sex party. Do you think the worst sort of children's entertainment? Mr. Blobby would be worse, I think. Mr. Blobby, yeah. Quite difficult. The thing is about Ainsley Harriot as well, that he's such a sort of cuddly figure that...

4:48I don't know if I want that. Do you think A.Z. Harriot ever heard about this? It must be so surreal. Anyway, we don't know who the people dressed as him were. It wasn't actually A.Z. Harriot. They also, in the article, say Michael Owen, who's like really young at this point, Michael Owen stood in the corner looking stunned. Don't blame him. There's a really good bit actually in the article where they had a hidden camera. There were two journalists on the cover. I think they were posing as like friends of the squad. But at some point people realised they had a camera hidden and they got rumbled and they were chased out of the strip club holding the camera.

5:21Oh, wow. Yeah, they did get away, which is how we know about the story. But the video appears to have been lost, which is devastating. That is a shame. Anyway, he's my right back. Not going to beat that. What are you giving him? Scandal score. I mean, that's got to be pretty high. Spitting on a child and having a Christmas sex party with Nancy Harriot and Ronald McDonald. I think it's going to be a nine for me, Jamie. What a start. Yeah. That is a shame though that the tape has been lost. There'd be some good stuff for that, I'm sure. But do not worry because my centre-back was involved in a tape that definitely did see the light of day.

5:59And we'll come on to that in a moment. But it is Mr. Rio Ferdinand. So he was back in the squad for 2006. He missed Euro 2004 because he was banned from football after missing a drugs test. Chalk that up. This was one he got called in for a random drugs test but missed it because he had gone shopping at Harvey Nichols. At least that's what he said. Got an eight month ban from football. Now, much like his defensive teammate, Jamie Carragher, Rio had a pretty fruity sex life, let's say, in his early days. Most notably, when he starred in a sex tape with another one in this squad, Mr. Frank Lampard.

6:37So the pair of them, they went on holiday to Cyprus along with 30 mates, including Kieran Dyer, Jonathan Woodgate were there as well. And, you know, on a trip to Cyprus, you might take in its turquoise lagoons, its 1 ,000-year-old castles. Unfortunately, the lads decided to skip those sites and head straight to Ayanape instead. You know, they're young footballers. They're getting a lot of attention from the ladies. And one night, Rio, Kieran Dyer and Frank Lampard bring these girls back to their apartment and you know they're getting getting getting down to it and they decide that they will film the whole thing so they set this camcorder up and and record it there's like tapes of them going around quite assorted unfortunately for them the camcorder then gets nicked and the tape ends up in the news of the world what are the odds what are the odds and stills from it stills from it are published uh in the in the news of the world and then later part of it is actually broadcast on channel four oh yeah it's like a part of like a dramatization yeah so there was there was this there was this whole like obsession with the sort of moral decay of english football and they they did this like fictionalized thing of a footballer roasting basically so that was their term for it like group sex basically and anyway Channel 4 did a dramatisation where they played part of this Rio Ferdinand Frank Lampard sex tape on national television it's quite mad to think anyway yeah that was sort of an early scandal for Rio he did have a few more later in his career he had 10 kiss and tells around the same time around sort of 2008 2009 that's decent it's a healthy healthy scandal yeah what are you giving him?

8:28Missed Drug Test Sex Tape Is it another nine? I think it is I mean yeah Let's go for it Yeah I think so It's a huge agga Which goes by the wayside a bit People don't realise We did an episode on him Called The Geezers Are Going Yeah Because there's a bit in Iron Apple When he's talking about like I think that Like the girls there Were the flashing cars Yeah that's it And he was like All the geezers were beeping their horn And going yeah Alright Rio, another nine. Another nine. It's a good start. It's a hell of a back four because if you think 10 kiss and tails is big, those are rookie numbers compared to Rio's central defence partner, John Terry.

9:08Oh, yeah. He had 10 in 2004-05 season alone. That is... I think he had more kiss and tails than Chelsea conceded goals in the league. Pretty much. Similar numbers. Again, we've done an episode on John Terry. It's our most listened to episode ever, I think. most watched episode ever among the shags someone called Shalimar Wimble who she said that she shagged him on the hard shoulder of the M25 junction 9 if you want to that's a danger bonk it sounds like hell you're not meant to stop on the hard shoulder unless it's an emergency yeah I mean maybe it was an emergency the reason I'm giving him a high score is his observance of the highway code is poor he didn't put the cone out behind him and put his hazards on I can't think of anything more stressful than shagging on the hard shoulder no like surely you can find somewhere nicer I think he's into that.

9:54There's quite a lot of them that happened in cars, actually. Another one, a girl said she shagged him in a nightclub toilet while she had a broken leg and the newspaper headlined it, Terry's Hobble on the Jobble. Very nice. Yeah, beautiful stuff. Obviously, his most famous romantic scandal came a bit later with the ex-girlfriend of one of his teammates in this 2006 squad, Wayne Bridge. If it happened, in our Terry episode, we look at whether that one actually happened, but... Yeah. Yeah, we're sceptical. The other ones very much happened. That episode is titled Captain Leader Bellend, by the way, if you're wondering.

10:32Also got Terry in here, of course, because of the pretty nasty racism incident involving Rio Ferdinand's brother. Probably not going to go into that because it's deeply depressing. One more thing on the Terry rap sheet, though. His party trick. There are multiple accounts on different occasions of John Terry pissing in a pint glass in the middle of a dance floor. Yeah, I've heard about this. Wasn't it Sean Wright Phillips' birthday or something? Ian Wright was there as well, and Terry did it on the dance floor and then kicked it over. Yeah, I think they were in a strip club then as well. It was a strip club, yeah.

11:05But then there was another time he was in a nightclub and he stood on the bar and did it. Yeah. I mean, for me, I was going to put him sort of on a par with Jamie Carragher, but for me, that bumps JT up to a 10. He's a 10. 10 out of 10. What a start. Well, I'll tell you what, Jack. It's about to get better. because I mean this is possibly the the most sordid back four in football history another insatiable shag at making up the defensive line and that is actually Cole uh we spoke in depth on our episode about him about his uh his days in the Arsenal youth team when him and his teammate and best friend Jermaine Pennant used to have threesomes together which Pennant described in quite lurid detail in his autobiography he said we were high-fiving each other over her back had a little tea break and then went at it again yeah lovely graphic obviously Cole later shacked up with Cheryl Cole famously wooed her with the chat up line hey hot lips nice ass reader I married him yeah obviously he did end up cheating on her as well including with a hairdresser who he also threw up on and smacked her arse so hard he left an imprint of her wedding his wedding ring very charming yeah later shot a work experience kid with an air rifle as well which I think that's a bit that's a bit more fun yeah what be a scandal it's definitely a scandal yeah um so i'm giving him an eight because i think the others have got like more serious charges and more extensive shagging i think that's a fair fair point yeah yeah never caught on camera ashley cole no so it's an eight imagine buying your kid a toy only to find the batteries aren't included or buying furniture but missing the tools to build it frustrating right now imagine the exact same feeling, but you're paying way more.

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15:17It's a nasty, nasty scrap. Yeah, it's a nasty bit of violence. Can you guess who it is? It is Stephen Gerrard. Of course. Jesus. Stevie, Stevie G. He loves Phil Collins. He does. To be honest, when people refuse to pop Phil Collins, I react in the same way. Phil Collins is quite fitting for Stephen Gerrard because famously when he was asked what his favourite cheese was on Radio 1, he replied, melted. And I feel like Phil Collins is sort of similarly safe bear. Similar, yeah. I mean, melted cheese is great. As is Phil Collins. As is Phil Collins. To be fair to him, it ended up in court, but Gerard said it was self-defence and was later acquitted.

15:56Okay. So, all right. To end up in a scrap like that, in a pleasant seaside night spot, is I'm going to give Steve and Gerard a six. yeah okay I'm actually surprised that DJ didn't sue Steven Gerrard I mean he's definitely got a claim isn't he yeah did he knock out some teeth knocked out some teeth yeah and insulted his professional musical selection his reputation his reputation as a high quality DJ was also damaged I'm not sure they'll help with his DJ reputation but I do have some lawyers that could could sue Stevie if we want to get his dental bills covered yeah injury lawyers for you get that new gold tooth paid for they're the personal injury lawyers who fight for you.

16:38I'll put the details in the episode description box. Yeah, they're great lawyers though. No win, no fee as well. No win, no fee. You may as well give it a go. Yeah. Lawyer up, Stevie. Now, obviously this is Noughties England and we've got to cram Gerrard and Lampard into the team somehow. Even if they might not gel quite as they should, they've both got to be there. And to be fair to Frank, he's got some scandals himself. obviously the other option was pick Paul Scholes in there for the heinous offense of gnawing on his daughter's toes but you know I think Frank's got one up on him this time so we already mentioned that he starred in that sex date with Rio Ferdinand in his in his teenage years but Lampard makes the list for another incident so this took place the day after 9-11 you know most of the world is in a solemn state of mourning.

17:33But Frank, along with John Terry and a couple of other Chelsea teammates, Idica Johnson, Jodie Morris and Frank Sinclair, I think you played for Leicester, went out on this riotous pub crawl. They're just like touring around all these different pubs. I've got an account from one shell-shocked punter who said they were all hurling abuse at people and chucking things at the landlord. Lampard and Morris urinated in a bin outside. so they're causing havoc around around the suburban pubs and eventually end up at heathrow's holiday inn why he obviously are they meant to have a game i think i think they were meant to go for a european tie obviously got called off yeah 9-11 yeah so they kind of staying in the heathrow area no i think it's i don't know i think it's just in the we're near where their training ground is i guess last place on earth i'm going for a pub crawl heathrow holiday and that's bizarre.

18:23And also like at that point, the Holiday Inn was filled with stranded American tourists who weren't able to get home. So according to news reports, the players came in, they're absolutely battered by this point, flashed their knobs at these grieving American tourists before being booted out of Holiday Inn when they went next door to a bowling alley and slid headfirst down the lanes. End up being fined two weeks wages and dropped from the England squad. I mean, there's a certain charm to the pub crawl, the going down the bowling lanes it's quite in between yeah obviously the 9-11 grieving American tourists but I did also come back to haunt Frank when he signed for New York City years later it was a twilight of his career and there was a New York Post headline calling him I think it called him like 9-11 loud 9-11 loud yeah it's quite a unique scandal so I think you get an extra point for that yeah the grieving American tourists knob flashing we don't know if Frank was the one doing that was he?

19:19not entirely sure he was part of the group Can you see my twin tower? That doesn't even work. I am going to give him, because he was also in the sex tape, which I have watched. It is available on some obscure pornography websites if people are wondering. I'm going to give him a seven. Seven. Yeah. He hasn't got the extensive rap sheet of our back four where they're just shagging constantly. He had one sex tape and then the 9-11 bender, which had it not been a 9-11 thing, would have been, you know, not too bad. Right, that's fair. I'll give him a seven. Yep. Right, we've got to talk about the England captain, star of the show, the biggest name, and in many ways, king of the shaggers, because his sex scandal was huge news for a long time.

20:08It is, of course, David Beckham. So he moved to Madrid. Rebecca Luz was his PA. He was lonely. Posh Spice was back in the UK, and he began a passionate affair with his PA. yeah all I remember from the leaked text is that he had a weird like Peter Pan fantasy where he was Peter Pan Rebecca Loose's Tinkerbell and Posh Spice got called Wendy it's a slap in the face isn't it it's not good it's almost the worst bit yeah but there was also another kiss and tell years before 1997 he'd only been with Posh Spice for a little while when a Page 3 model came forward and said that they slept together and they played Strip Scrabble Strip Scrabble how does that work I actually presumably whoever gets the highest score it's quite it's quite a slow game yeah I mean to be honest David Beckham in a game of Scrabble is probably losing each round so he's he's naked yeah the pastry model's still got all that clothes off you get like triple triple letter score and that's tops off yeah I think triple letter score you're getting three yeah I think he might have been making up the rules he gets xylophone xylophone on a double word score and that's pants are off she QI mate 33 points thanks very much Poshby said in her own book that after that story was published she just marched straight up to David Beckham and punched him in the face.

21:20Fair enough. Fair play. Yeah. Good on her. And not just because he failed to use the double word score, which she was also annoyed about. Despite all that, he is very much a national treasure. Yeah. Sir David Beckham. Sir David. He nearly jeopardized that as well. Because do you remember for years he was stuck on an MBE? Yeah. And he was getting really angry. And his emails got leaked. And it showed that he'd been offered an OBE. And he replied to his team. He called the Honours Committee unappreciative cunts. and then he said if it's not a knighthood fuck off so good but he got it in the end yeah he did get there yeah but I mean we've heard lots of stories about his extracurricular activities yeah there are plenty of other rumours and cause like I mean that Rebecca Lewis thing was probably the biggest probably the biggest sort of footballer sex scandal of the noughties yeah you've also got just cause of like the profile that he had yeah you've also got all the Brooklyn stuff recently which is more of a posh spice thing.

22:17Should we save that for our Were the Spice Girls the most scandalous pop group of the 1990s? We're picking our pop 11. The secrets and scandals of Atomic Kitten. Coming soon. It's coming to you. I, yeah, I think Beckham can't be lower than an eight. Okay, yeah. I'll give Bex an eight, even an 8.5. Yeah. I think the 0.5 is for the stories we can't tell in this video. Yeah, it's going to be an 8.5 for Bex. there are more alright so that's the midfield how are we fitting them together obviously Sven as manager was very rigid in his 4-4-2 but I've got well we've got three strikers on the line up who really deserve to get in there for different reasons but I think we're going to we're going to go 4-3-3 with so it's an attacking line up do you think Beckham's going to be the captain by the way we'll pick the captain at the end well you know what Beckham is a strong candidate but I've actually got someone who I've saved until last I think trumps him.

23:17I've just realised it is. For some reason. It's good. But before we get to that, Peter Crouch, who, Peter Crouch, lovely fella, got to say. Nice podcast. Great. Lovely guy. But, you know, surrounded by such a bunch of reprobates as the ones we've just reeled off, it was inevitable that he'd be sucked into their orbit at some point. he got done by the tabloids after attending a mate stag do in madrid when crouchy coughed up 800 quid for a blowjob in a taxi the escort in question was monica mint great great name uh who did did sell her story to the press she said because peter is so tall his legs were squashed up in a taxi oh yeah sort of yeah yeah uh and she then later added i don't think peter is good looking but he is a nice person would you rather she said the opposite she'd been like he's so good looking but he's a dick uh i i mean pete is he's he's made a career out of being a nice person yeah he's a nice footballer yeah so that any other scandals i think that is it i think that's i think that's it because it's a one-off i think it's it's sort of between gerald and lampard territory yeah yeah he's equal to lampard i mean he's paid for a job in a taxi yeah it's quite scandalous it's quite scandalous.

24:37Seven. Giving Crouchy a seven. Do you think that's harsh? I think it's maybe harsh, but... Okay, six and a half. Six and a half. It's paying for a blowjob between knocking the teeth out of a DJ for refusing to play Phil Collins or flashing a knob at grieving American tourists. Yeah, but he also was in the sex tech. True. All right. Six and a half. On our moral score card. Yeah. It's just about how scandalous they are. No judgment applies. This is what is different I would say from this and the Brazil team is that Brazil it was all the attackers who were the most scandalous whereas in this England side it's the defence so far I think the next two strikers will even that up quite a lot and this next one might surprise you because you know while this guy's teammates were living a life of sin he was living the quiet life.

25:29He was standing in the corner looking stunned. He's never tasted tea or coffee. He's only seen eight films. It's Michael Owen. But there be scandals, my friends. Don't you worry about that. So, most people's favourite Michael Owen moment is probably when he gleefully smacked 22 consecutive volleys past a 13-year-old boy from point-blank range in his Michael Owen soccer skills TV program. Which is meant to be him training a bunch of kids, but it's basically just him laughing. Just volley practice for Michael. I just love volleying. Poor old Jamie has no chance.

26:06get in there well done he's 13 game set and match Owen game set and match Owen so good I mean it must be mental for that kid he's like on TV yeah yeah he's getting humiliated by Michael Owen by Michael Owen anyway yeah that used to be the Michael Owen rap sheet but he did have a sex scandal of his own god they were ooh at it, weren't it? Yeah. 2021, Michael was caught demanding nudes from reality TV star Rebecca Jane. But even when he has a sex scandal, he manages to do it in that like signature boring yet arrogant style, the Michael Owen style. So in the text, he goes, come on then, fire them through.

26:51And he goes, it's a long, boring trip to London. I need something to do. Leave nothing to the imagination. When she finally delivers the goods, he replies, tremendous, by the way. And then she she shows him her boobs and he just replies, falsies? And then probably my favourite, she says, what do you like about me? And he replies, your past, your present, your post with your tits out. God, he's a poet, isn't he? He's direct. There's nothing less like sexy and inspiring than, God, it's a long old journey to London. I need something to do. The traffic on the M6 is terrible. I mean I didn't know Michael had that in him to be honest I've heard rumours previously I think Owen then is getting from me a 7 7.5 maybe yeah he was married Lampard level yeah I'll give him a 7 okay a 7 take that right I said before that I had a captain on my sleeve that wasn't David Beckham and I think you're going to agree with this one there's no real question over who should be captain it's the granddaddy of England scandal it's Wayne Rooney could write a whole book I think on his on his exploits but I wanted to start with maybe the most famous one from back when he was but a young buck at Everton and paid a visit to a backstreet Merseyside brothel where he shagged a 48 year old escort who went by the name of the old slapper it's the spelling of the old A-U-L-D like Old Lang Syne I can't see the song name Old Lang Syne without thinking I saw a striker the other day who's called Andy Old but my mind immediately went to the old slapper the old slapper it's a great is that her like nom de plume yeah I guess yeah must be the press also dubbed her the PVC granny because she apparently wore a rubber catsuit and was a grandmother and was a grandmother yeah this is a We're looking at a front page of the Daily Mirror with the headline, Get out of my brothel, Mr.

28:57Rudy. So he went 10 times, apparently. Paid£45 a pop. God, and Pierre Crouch paid£800 in Madrid. Yeah. Inflation. Yeah. Frech worse than Freddo's. Yeah. Apparently, on one of these visits, Rudy was signing autographs for other punters while he was waiting in the brothel. And apparently, once it emerged to find 30 Everton fans charting his name. Rudy Rudy so he's literally like 18 at this point pre-united yeah yeah it's pre-united is there just like a waiting room in the brothel just like the dentist yeah when you go is there normally I don't know I've never no idea to be honest the rest of Rudy's career as well is littered with scandals almost as many scandals as incredible goals a lot more escorts one of my favourites was when he was caught out because he left her a note reading to Charlotte I shagged you on 28th of December loads of love Wayne Rooney.

29:53What was the point of writing that? Just, yeah. You're really not thinking? Yeah. Is that the one where, when it came out in the press, his wife, Colleen, like, or they were engaged at the time, she like ran out of the house and she threw her engagement ring away, but she was running in a squirrel sanctuary. Yeah. In Cheshire. There are some squirrels out there who still have Wayne Rooney's engagement ring. Colleen Rooney's. 30 grand diamond ring just in the squirrel sanctuary. Yeah. If there's any detecturists watching, I'd head down there. Formby, I think there's plenty more after that as well wasn't there yeah which we didn't get into but what's the thing where he he gave as a manager he gave a team talk to his he gave a team talk to his dc united players he was basically trying to like pep them up before a game and talk what he talked to them about overcoming adversity and the example that he used was i've overcome adversity i've got a tiny dick uh which there was a there was a line saying uh it's like i think the american players didn't quite get his British sense of humour.

30:52It's like one British player loving it. I see that side of Wayne Rooney I find really endearing. He's very like down to earth and like... Yeah, I think he's a nice guy. I think he's a good guy. His scandal score is quite high. I think he's I mean, I'll let you score it. You want a 10, don't you? I'd be pushing for a 10. Oh, I think if John Terry's 10, then Wayne Rooney's not John Terry. Okay, 9.5. 9.5. 9.5. And he's captain. And we've still got the manager to do. And actually sorry first before we do the manager we've got to do the goalkeeper oh shit yeah yeah yeah yeah which um you know paul robinson was the first choice at the 2006 world cup i believe he's pretty squeaky clean yeah believe however the backup keeper was david james so in he comes calamity james again the rap sheet's not long he was known as being quite mad i remember stan collymore who was his teammate at liverpool said that david apparently he he was an insomniac and in the middle of the night if he was really stressed he would just go to a nearby woodland and just start chopping down trees.

31:51Which I like. That's quite, yeah. Yeah. I've got him purely for the excuse he once gave for, he made a mistake in goal letting it go. And he claimed that he'd been up all night playing PlayStation. He said, I was getting carried away playing Tekken 2 and Tomb Raider for hours on end. Okay. Yeah. All right. I was chopping down trees. So probably comfortably the dullest of the group. I think he's the least scandalous for sure. So I'll give him, give him a five. Yeah, I think that's even a four. Maybe a four or four. I'll give him a four. sort of Cafu level. Yeah. Yeah. God, this England team's dicking on that Brazil side.

32:24And the manager, which I don't think the manager contributes to the score. Probably does contribute to the score. Yeah. I mean, I think he's, he's sort of overseeing it all. Maybe, maybe sort of the root, the root of all the, of all the, the ills perhaps. But, you know, I think it's fitting that England's golden generation of Rogans were led by possibly their most, I think without doubt, actually their most scandalous manager ever, Sven. Goran Erickson. The name just transports you, doesn't it? Like a chalet, a Baltic chalet. Yeah. Roaring fire, animal skin rug. Yeah. Just wags. Just that era of like 2006 tabloid, that name.

33:06Sven's spell in the England dugout was racked with sex scandals. First with Ulrika Johnson, who I didn't realise Sven and Ulrika had been introduced at a party by Alistair Campbell. he was in government with Tony Blair. Oh, he was literally the new Labour spin doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What they were getting up to in the noughties. Apparently so, yeah. I wouldn't say that Ulrika gave Sven a glowing review. So she said, sex with Sven was an ordered and functional as an IKEA instruction manual. He is devoid of passion. There probably is a bit of IKEA furniture called like Sven. Sven Goran. They do all up to Mattress.

33:50he then famously had an affair with an fa secretary for real um she told kind of a similar story uh so she sven sven swept her off to his his love nest somewhere and he said that she she actually was like he's a real romantic like he charmed me it was it was an amazing experience although there was one part of her story that didn't quite tally with that to me she said that just before they were about to go up to the bedroom uh sven insisted on emptying the dishwasher