Why are coke dealers roping in Premier League footballers?

0:00Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors.

0:32Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans. Welcome back to the Upshot, the show about the funniest stories in sport this week.

1:13On the show today, Wayne Rooney's hotel room sesh. The West Ham star accused of kidnapping a film producer. And why are coke dealers roping in Premier League footballers? And we are, of course, sponsored by Injury Lawyers for you. Still sponsored by them. My name is Jack. Hello, zach hi jack hi jp buongiorno fellas buongiorno all right so we will come on to the coke dealers in a minute but first a man who prefers prefers his poisons a little bit more traditional that's mr wayne rooney so wayne's former teammate andy carroll he's got a got a new book out at the moment uh and as is traditional when you're trying to flog a few more copies down your local water stones andy has been dishing the dirt on some of his old teammates so according to according to him on england duty under fabio capello in about 2010 2011 time wayne rooney would have these impromptu gatherings in his hotel room uh so this is this is a quote from uh from andy's book wayne would call me at two in the afternoon and say andy my room now nah i'd say not now was it's too early but he'd always bully me into submission I'd find him lying on his bed watching TV smoking his lips would sometimes be bulging with snooze as well and swigging from a bottle of beer he'd be surrounded by cartons of fags crates of lager and bottles of wine she got the hotel manager to deliver to his room and soon his room would be full of players I'm enjoying Rooney having snooze and fags snooze and fags same time proper Nicky Rush he's like covered in the pads as well 2pm by the way so weird that we never won anything with that English it is really strange it sounds like a school trip you know where there's like the cool kids have got someone's pilfered a bottle of brandy from their mum's drinks cabinet and they're all in the room do you reckon he's got a BB gun laser pointer as well through the teachers bangers for the really cool kids Big time, the French school trip.

3:22If Wayne Rooney was playing now, he'd definitely be on vape and a balloon, wouldn't he? Oh, big time. I think he probably is. He's clean cut now. Snoop was that thing in 2010. I was surprised by that. To be fair to Andy, he's not slagging Rooney off about this. He's saying that Rooney was a good lad, good one to have in the team. And like, to be fair, I think in Fabio Capello's England camp, everything that you hear about it sounds absolutely miserable. So I think for the players, it was quite nice to have a safe space. A little of some steam. A little of some steam. Crack open a bottle of Lamborghini.

3:58Exactly, yeah. John Terry was like sneaking girls into his room and stuff. Him and Ashley Cole, weren't they? Really? Yeah. Yeah, so they were the shaggers. What, it was Fabio a bit of ruling with an iron fist type vibe. Oh, big time. Big time. But a lot of shagging was done in the team hotel in this era. Yeah. Rooney has actually come out and denied that this ever took place. He said it was complete fabrication. which I don't know. He's that sort of, he's trying to still portray that he was the model professional. He was always saying that this could be the next Wagatha Christie saga that Andy's coming out in the press, dropping all these, these barbs about, about Wayne and Wayne denying it.

4:37Wagatha Christie. Oh, yeah. No worries. Andy, Andy Carol Doyle. Thank God. I think I'll stick with fangithead. Was that top of the head or did you come with that prepared? I was top of the head. Not bad for top of the head.

5:06There's actually another reason that Andy might have a bit of a bone to pick with Wayne. Because apparently when Capello first called Andy Carroll up to the squad, he called him into a meeting to basically have a go at him about all these stories about his private life that had been coming out. Apparently, Fabio said to him, Andy, you are always in the media for drinking and sleeping with the grannies. So he literally thinks he's way rude. He thinks he's way rude. I quite like the idea that all the other players have just been pinning these stories on Andy Carroll. Yeah, it's Andy, mate. Or does Fabio Capello literally think Andy Carroll is way rude?

5:44He's like, you did the score the brilliant scissor kick. quite hard to get those two mixed up but like the story is like as andy's walking out oh no one more thing andy stop by shagging your teammates wives and that uh that the pub crawl you did on 9-11 is a disgusting respect yeah but actually funnily enough andy says that it was john terry who shopped him into capello for having these stories apparently terry had gone to him and being like, you know this Andy guy that you've called up, he's trouble. Have a word with them. Oh, really? So Fabio had called him up for that. Called him into the meeting because of that.

6:23JT was always a bit of a goody two-shoes with a manager. He's a bit fucking rich, isn't he? I was going to say, it's a bit, it is. John Terry's like pissing in pint glasses and nobbing everyone left. He's nobbing on the hard shoulder of the M25. Yeah. What did Andy even do wrong in that era? Was he, I think he was just a bit of a party animal then. This is, this is around the time that he moved to, I think he moved to Liverpool 2011, was it, around that time? Yeah. So it must have been, I think he was just a bit of a boozer. Was it last year that he got in a fight at Sexy Fish, that like, the Mayfair nightclub?

6:53Yeah, it's like where people take brasses to eat sushi, basically. It's my perception of it. And he got in a fight there, and it spilled out on the street, didn't it? Yeah. He's always getting in trouble. Is he officially retired now? No, he's playing for Dagenham and Regbridge. Really? Still playing. Doesn't he own them as well or something? Oh, does he? And a KSI owns them. KSI owns them. I think Andy Carroll is player manager at Dagenrad. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. He's player manager. I think he's a shareholder in the club now, isn't he? Yeah, I think he, I think it's, you know how some people get like, you know, Tom Brady to have shares.

7:24Yeah. Pato we talked about last week. Andy Carroll. Slightly different vibes. Could work. Yeah. Now we are going to talk about the drug gangs that are recruiting Premier League legends, but an even bigger cocaine scandal has just broken. We got to start there first, guys. João Paulo Santos Benfica's eagle handler has been arrested in a major cocaine bust another eagle handler yeah I don't know what it is about eagle handlers yeah it just comes with the territory doesn't it it's part of the job so he's been accused of smuggling suitcases of cocaine off planes flying into Lisbon airport so he does have a second job there so his main gig is eagle handling at Benfica they've got this eagle Vittoria but he also manages a fleet of falcons because you know they use them to keep the birds away from them keep the birds off the runway so he's sort of there with his weird leather claw thing that they have supposedly keeping the runway clear but according to prosecutors in Portugal he's been working with a baggage handler to divert these suitcases off the plane so a plane flies in with coke on it in a suitcase he's there sort of pretending to manage the eagles Eagles are just fucking flying in the direction.

8:38Is that just like a distraction tactic? As soon as security comes along, he's like, waving his weird glove. And then his baggage handler mate just diverts it so it doesn't go through the security checks. Oh, nice. So the police have just done this big cocaine bust, 110 kilos, they found. And they called it Operation Falcao, Falcon. It works. That's after Falcons, not Radamel Falcao. Yeah. But yeah, so he's in the slammer now. I really thought when you were telling that story that the falcons would be used to actually transport the gear. Yeah, that's better. My mind went there too. I had a look.

9:11They can carry, while flying, without a decent headwind, they can carry two kilos. Two kilos. So it'd be 50 trips for all this coke. Yeah, but it's a perfect crime because they're never going to get caught, are they? Well, I think if you saw an eagle carrying a fucking wheelie bag. Yeah, but you don't... Blue stones. Also, two kilos is nothing. That's hand luggage. Yeah, true. It's not enough. You're probably not even putting that in the overhead locker. Also, probably not worth losing your prized bird he has got a fleet of them to be fair so if he's got five yeah yeah okay yeah I mean it's a really good idea you see like I think it actually turned out to be fake but you see the video of um an eagle trying to pick up a child a toddler it was when Byron you loved that video years ago I think it actually turned out to be fake is it funny when the child screamed it was really good yeah here we go we're going to switch gears now though it's like the bit where the parents cry wait till you see this It appears to show an eagle swooping in and grabbing a baby and lifting the baby up for a few seconds.

10:10Don't worry, the baby is just fine. But it raises the question, is this real? ABC's Rob Nelson takes a closer look. I mean, to be fair, that eagle. And what do you think that baby weighs? Probably like three, four kilos? No, probably more. Yeah. So I don't think it's not actually getting that high. So it makes it look real because it's struggling. you can see how Vittoria would have struggled with the gear actually no word on the whereabouts of Vittoria so presumably she's got a float for the hills got a picture of her here in Benfica Stadium you have to say she looks guilty as fuck if a bird was a drug dealer that would be it yeah she's got the beak for it as well you'd say she's got a couple of ounces underneath that wing hasn't she magnificent beast but yeah what is it about eagle handlers I did actually because Juan Bernabe before he was at Lazio worked at Benfica he was Vittoria's eagle handler it was actually a different Vittoria the plot thickens she died and they replaced her with another Vittoria that was you see that was when things went off the rails when the new the new eagle was the one that yeah had the idea had naughty ideas yeah dragged him off course he had a great gig at the airport they didn't do they didn't do the background checks on that eagle but I've actually I've hit Juan up because obviously we we talk because you're friends now we talk I thought you said you got rid of the only fans account.

11:30I can't do my only fan subscription. I don't need to look at his cock every day. I dropped him a line to say, yo, there's a vacancy at your old club now. I haven't heard back yet, but I'll report back when I've heard from him. Have you just, have you got his number now? Are you chatting? We've got means of contact, let's put it that way. Hey, it's me. Here's a$10 tip. It's me again. No, I don't want to put your cock away. Well, go on then. Just want to know if you want another job at Benfica. But yeah, there's now a vacancy at Benfica that he could get involved in. But what is the eagle thing in football?

12:01I thought maybe it was like the airport. You're trying to keep the pitch clear of birds. Yeah, because they always have problems with pigeons nesting in the rafters. Is that what the eagle's handlers is for? I thought it was just a mascot. Yeah, it's just a mascot because the only clubs that seem to have them, please correct me if you're listening, and there's another one, is Benfica, Lazio, and Crystal Palace, who are all eagles. Palace was actually rebranded after Benfica in the 70s. And they had an eagle until 2020. Kayla which is a slightly less intimidating name yeah she's not serving gear is she no Olympia and Vittoria sort of sound quite sort of fascist neoclassical and then Kayla Kayla sounds like a like boiler room DJ Kayla's into her tunes strictly deep house yeah more of a ping as he the others are more kooky she flew for 10 years they lived for about 25 years I didn't realise Palace Vans did a fundraiser when she got gout drinking problem well I think to be fair eagles just eat raw meat don't they so you're going to get a gap on that because I was just on the hot dogs at Soar's Park they're bad for you those things they're processed just feeding a bovril but yeah she died in a mysterious heart attack vaccinated what's 2020 I'll let you decide so that's one coke bust eagle handlers down we'll keep people abreast of that as it develops but it's actually a massive week for cocaine rate and some big Premier League stars have been dragged in so firstly Sergio Aguero legend of the Premier League the Spanish police have just busted this big Argentine drug gang they were shipping coke from South America to Spain and liquid MDMA to South America from Spain both ways, smart they were courts shipping 12 litres of liquid MDMA to Argentina and they'd been laundering cash using ticketing firms it's quite a good sort of legit business to put cash through but it turns out when police busted them they found all this evidence that they've been in talks with Sergio Aguero to create a ticketing firm with him I thought he'd already created one, it was called Kun or something he's got a few different businesses and he was in talks about doing one called KRU Tickets they met with him, they designed the logo which had his face on it and then they got busted was it his face printed on a pill?

14:23absolutely fucking having it three blue agueros mate

14:30double drop I think being on that's when you know you've made it when your face is on a ping yeah could that be done can you make your own pills I think you could probably get a press couldn't you I don't know green up shots I mean there's ones there's like you know BBC news being like a dodgy batch of pills has been reported do not take these give us a couple of zacks will you ping zacks yeah a bit mashy those ones anyway I don't think Sergio Aguero even realised these guys are drug dealers he's denying any knowledge of it although so one of the guys they've arrested was an ultra from Independiente which is Aguero's first club and they're always quite interlinked with the players aren't they yeah but I kind of think that's the bullshit you have to deal with as a footballer just like fucking ultras that you have to like take a meeting with yeah I mean Sergio Aguero there was that video from a few years ago of him with jr ba aden aden ross that irritating youtuber and they're filming some video and aden sniffs and sergio's like cocaine you like cocaine i know a guy he literally sounds like he's gonna sell it to me yeah can we see the clip you want to know something about you that i've noticed i've been spending time with you for about an hour sorry that's too fast You smell really good.

15:44You smell good. Bien. Bien. Bien. Bien smell. You like it? No, no. That sniff is a sniff I've never sniffed before. You're always like booty. No, no, no, no. My nose is as good at sniffing because it's big and pointy. But no, no, no, of course not. I just like your smell. Also, he goes to Sergio, you? And he goes, yeah. Claro. So we busted him. He's about to offer him some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. also does Sergio Aguero not speak much English surely I think he does tradition of an Argentine strike out a man's city to not learn any any English yeah I think who knows then you're suggesting maybe this is his I mean this is this is the second time would you say this is an innocent angel investment that he's made into this I don't know I mean all I'm saying is this is the second time that Sergio Aguero and drug smuggling drug drug dealing drug dealing has come up in the same story.

16:43So I don't know. I believe him, to be honest. I think they basically wanted him to front their ticketing business because it makes it look more legit so they can actually funnel cash. As a footballer, you just deal with so many bullshit meetings now. Yeah. Do you see, related points, do you see Cole Palmer trying to leave Stamford Bridge on the weekend? This video of him being harassed by fans for selfies. Oh God. You realise like the paparazzi have obviously died down, but they've just been replaced ordinary people i'll link to it because it's a visual one if you're listening i mean it looks miserable i mean talking to drug dealers cole palmer does look a bit like a drug dealer different kind he's ease and whiz

17:29is that how you feel at claston bridge it makes me feel really cringe as a chelsea fan when i see this they're grown men I wouldn't mind if it was kids but they're grown men trying to get a selfie it's bleak I was there behind him yeah isn't that you there I mean it makes sense was it last week we were talking about Graham Sooners saying that he'd seen Cole Palmer being rude to a waiter or something in Dubai yeah or being rude to somebody in a restaurant when you see that you're like yeah but I mean it's a bleak yeah but it's right outside the stadium he's not going to stop and stop for selfies with everyone no but this is why they just do house party, NDA at the door, just do laughing gas and scroll on Instagram.

18:12Anytime they try and socialize with us normies in the wild, that is what happens to you. Back to the drug bust, got another city striker implicated. Hot this week. There was a big bust in Ecuador by the Colombian border, seized 15 million pounds worth of gear, 469 kilos. That's a lot of runs for old Vittorio, isn't it? Someone work it out. there's one very tired eagle right now you earned that bowl of carrion that you're eating yeah that's many runs and all of it was stamped with Erling Haaland's face so we've got a pic of it here a pic of him in his Norway shirt with the World Cup looks like a top quality chop that well packaged it's a bit of a thing to use footballers faces do you remember there were some Frank Lampard ones yeah and then they've also used Messi Ronaldo and Maradona I think you know you've made it when you've got your face on a real big one Would you rather be on a Pinger or a Brick of Coke?

19:12Pinger There's a novelty to a Pinger There's artisan workmanship that's gone into the printing So apparently it's just to identify which batch it is so people know you're collecting the Harlands It's a good system I've accidentally got a Lampard I do think looking at those probably Maradona aside Harlem will be the most fun to get on it with a million percent Frank Lampard I think reeks of 6am and he's talking about his divorce yeah or he'll get out like the karaoke machine and do like really serious songs yeah I think Messi goes mute yeah Ronaldo Ronaldo's just gets out he's banging on about himself yeah gets out his clips on YouTube yeah yeah talking of bricks of coke a friend of a friend was on holiday in Scotland somewhere really remote and they're on a beach and they were like walking one morning on this beach and they noticed that like tied to this boy just on the beach was this massive bin bag and they looked at it and there were bricks of coke I think about that all the time in it and yeah so you think about what you do I'll ask you what you do in a second so this is what they did they were like fuck first of all someone could be watching it like police or gangs or whatever so every day they walked on this beach for the rest of this week long holiday and it was still there and on the last day they took it and buried it in the garden of this like Airbnb that they rented and a year later went back and got it and it was still there they got it that's the way that's the way to do it how much was there?

20:46a lot more than Vittoria can carry he's now the UK's version of Pablo Escobar they just sold it after that no I don't know I think maybe I think they're too scared to try and shift it because then you're dealing with some bigger boys you just keep it for Percy for the rest of your life yeah you never you and your friends never buy again.

21:07Do you think you would have the balls to do that? I do. I think that's a great plan. I rate that they were like, let's just come back every day and see if it's still there and bury it for a year. I think I'd be too scared. Because there was that drug dealer in Norfolk that found a load. Did you read about him? Was he a drug dealer? So he was a drug dealer. He was taking his dog for a walk on the beach and he came across like 15 kilos of gag and took it. He took like half of it, left half of it. and they found messages on his phone to like all of his drug dealer friends saying I've got Willy Wonka's golden ticket.

21:38Imagine if you're a drug dealer and you find all of that. It's like, yeah, I probably wouldn't tell anyone. I think because I feel like if you're texting, you're like boss or whatever about that. There's quite a high likelihood that it's going to get back to some people who actually quite like to get a hold of it. Just to be clear, I don't know the people who found it. Don't come and cut my leg. Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform.

22:09You're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position. For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast.

22:42Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. So please. Now, one more top, top player accused of a secret life of crime, none other than West Ham defender, Edson Alvarez, Mexico captain. It's a huge name, I'm sure we all agree. And he has been forced to deny involvement in the kidnapping of a Mexican film producer.

23:26It's quite a weird story. So this filmmaker, Juan Ordonez, claims that Edson commissioned him to make like a Netflix biopic that he wanted to sell to Netflix. And Juan says he spent two years making this documentary, which sounds like punishment enough. How many highlights are there in Edson Alvarez's career? Anyway, Ordonez says that he and Edson agreed that he'd be paid 150 grand at the end of it. and then they try and sell it to Netflix. But when he asked for the money, he says that Edson's father-in-law ordered his kidnapping. So he was driving through Mexico City and he says, two women got in my car and subdued me.

24:05Okay. Right. Sounds like he was in the naughty cycle lane. He said, I was driving my car when they pulled open the doors and two women got in. They threatened me and blindfolded me. They had weapons. I was kidnapped for half a day. He says they injected him in the neck with an unknown substance and threatened him. And they said, we received orders. We're going to screw you over. You're going to die. You're screwed. And they said, we received orders from Jonathan Tawachi, who's Edson's father-in-law. So, quite frightening. He says he freed himself when the car stopped and some passers-by noticed that there was a kerfuffle and started filming it on their phones, at which point the kidnappers did a runner.

24:45Wow, this is a pretty fruity story. It's pretty mad stuff for a Premier League defender to be. I think to go way back to the start, I think it's quite lame that he's commissioning a documentary about himself to try and sell to Netflix. Yeah. I think you need to be approached for that sort of thing. Aren't they all kind of doing that? Is that like what the Beckham one? Would Beckham like commission it himself? Would he find like a producer? No, I reckon Netflix comes to it. Yeah, surely. He says that he filed a legal complaint, but the father-in-law paid for the investigation to stop. So he basically is suggesting that his father-in-law is like a gangster.

25:20And he says he's still getting death threats. Wait, Edson is suggesting there's father-in-law? No, no, no, Juan, the filmmaker. Juan, the filmmaker, is basically saying, Edson knew about this, but the father-in-law organized it. The father-in-law is the muscle. Right, yeah. So he's charged his father-in-law underneath the bus, basically. I personally think Juan was, popped down the naughty cycle lane in Mexico City. Brassing. He's brassing, and then he's cooked up a very elaborate cover story. It's the classic Ron Hayward. You know Ron Hayward, the guy we always talk about, the guy who subscribed to a porn channel, his wife found it and he continued to deny and they got the local paper involved and we're looking at the picture now of them staring at the camera.

25:56Ron Hayward's the perfect name for this guy as well. Here's Juan, just looking at him. I think this is the director. Yeah, I think he was going. Yeah, they actually look quite similar. I think Juan is actually quite a serious like football journalist and filmmaker. I think he was in the naughty lane though. I think he was. I think he was in the naughty lane. And you know, fuck around in the naughty cycle lane. Yeah, yeah, you know what's going to happen. You may have a substance injected into your neck. Yeah. Two women may subdue you. Subdue is a very interesting choice of word for when two women get into your car.

26:26And what, then some people spotted you and they just got out of the car and left you? Yeah. Okay. I should say, Etan Alvarez denies any involvement. He actually says he's no longer with Tawache's daughter. They were never married, but they've got kids together. Quite brave to dump her. Has the documentary been made? Well, it's not been released. There's a lot of raw footage. I mean, it's got a lot more interest in now. Yeah, true. Chuck this in the final quarter. Oh, do you think it's that? It's a sort of Lee Andrew style twist. Oh, right, yeah, trying to pump it up. Who knows? Anyway, thanks to Ferris UK, who posted that on the Upshot podcast Reddit, which is a great place to share stories.

27:02Great place to debate what you do with 469 kilos of coke, actually. Yeah. Someone work out how many eagles that would take to ship from country to country. Yeah. I think people are going to be trying to track down your friend of a friend. Friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. I don't know them. Please don't contact me. actually if you've been kidnapped in the red light district injected with poison and threatened with guns you might be entitled to compensation might i don't want to give any excuses as long as you didn't entirely make up the story you've ever been so terrified that you've pissed yourself that is the sound of compo hitting your bank balance injury lawyers for you they are the ones to talk to but you're only gonna get it if you fill in the form yeah you got to fill in the if you made up the whole story to cover up the fact that you were out in the naughty cycle.

27:52Not getting any compensation for that. But yeah, they are the injury lawyers who fight for you. It's no win, no fee. Yeah. Which is good if you've just been diddled out of 150 grand. Yeah. Can't buy a West Ham defender who is innocent as far as we know. Should emphasize that. Maybe Edson's got a case. I don't know. Just use the fucking conversation calculation on the website. Stop asking me. Fill in the form. C-A, get on. Suck it and see. please do fill out the form because that's how they judge success of the campaign which is coming to an end and we could use the KPIs being a bit you know up better just give it a go give the form a go give it a go would you for fuck's sake you don't like your dad just try and sue him just do something sue someone stubbed your toe whatever father-in-law in this case exactly yeah actually I guess this was his boss sue your boss yeah injury lawyers for you yeah details are in the show notes that's it's our last app for that We've got one more next week.

28:48One more. Don't wait for that. Just fill out the phone.

28:53All right. Speaking of footballers mixed up in unsavory worlds, I didn't realise that Arsenal fly to their European games from Luton Airport. It's a great airport. I don't mind Luton. It's the best one. It's such a trek to get there. For you, it's... You only like it because it's a 25-minute trek. No, no, no. When you're there, it's very... It's very serene. Now they've got the dart, it's fine. But I don't want to get on a dart from the fact that you Gatwick. Yeah, you are a Gatwick man. Gatwick is Gatwick. Everything's clean. Everything's nice. Everything's spacious. Everything is spacious. Luton, when you come, you get through the security bit and then you've got to follow this like packed route through past all the shops.

29:37There's always loads of people coming in both directions. I think Gatwick's a bit frumpy. Yeah. It's good, but it's not. It's not. Gatwick is. Gatwick's got no flair. no I completely disagree Luton's a bit rough around the edges nice and small in and out when you get to the airport at Luton you've then got to pay to get a one minute shuttle to the airport I'll give you the shuttle you just don't like Luton because they took your darts they didn't take my darts they let me keep them which is mental you can take darts and security decided he wasn't dangerous enough to do anything dangerous with them my Luke Littler darts got through security and onto the plane to Glasgow yeah well there you go so Arsenal are they taking the dart?

30:27are they as in the dart train the dart train I mean I hope so yeah although they did get delayed on their trip to play Napoli last week they arrived three hours late I'm not sure if that's because the dart was down but Max Darwin had to cram onto a replacement bus to get him to the terminal building but yeah I don't know I think it was actually the reasons for the delay was you know there was that air traffic control didn't it go down like globally? no just Luton I think Luton Gatwick Gatwick was absolutely fine smooth as ever at Gatwick I think I think it was Heathrow and Luton and like Manchester and some of the other ones anyway boring but I think that was the reason the other Apple stuff was great I think that was the reason why Arsenal were delayed rather than Piero Hinkepi leaving his passport in Sunglass Hut spread back through departures although actually that sounds like exactly the kind of thing Mikel Arteta would cook up for his squad so Mikel was explaining last week that during Arsenal's pre-season this summer he was deliberately arranging for their carefully prepared plans to be derailed so that his players would have to learn to adapt to difficult and unexpected changes.