Why You Can't Outgrow Your Own Identity (The Real Reason Your Business Results Are Stuck)

0:00Most founders think they have a strategy problem. More leads, better funnel, a new offer. But it's not the strategy. It's the identity underneath it. You cannot outsell, outgrow, or outscale the identity you have handed yourself. The ceiling you feel in your business is the ceiling you set in your head. My guest today is Daniel Linares. We get into how identity shapes vision and how vision turns into results. The see, feel, trust model that the greats actually run. why most of the rules holding you back are fiction, and the one decision standing between you and the thing you keep delaying. Let's unlock it.

0:45Awesome, awesome stuff. I'm happy to have you here, Daniel. I know today we're going to be going deep, and I think this is very important because I love everything about identity. But today we're going even to a deeper level about how our identity shapes our vision. And that same vision that we can hold in our minds and our hands is the vision that equals our results. And why I think it's so important to speak about this is as business owners, as marketers, as I just even think human beings, every single people every day. what you think about, what you can see, the vision you can have is a direct reflection of your identity.

1:25And if you don't know your identity or if your identity is mixed up and the wrong things and you're wanting results and they're not coming, this episode is for you. Daniel, welcome to the show. So excited to be here. I'm excited to get into this topic, quite honestly. So I'm going to ask straight up the big question. What is identity to you? Yeah. Identity is who we think we are and who we show up in the world as. What does that mean? What do you think you're capable of? How successful of a level do you deserve based on your own beliefs. And so it's this like beautiful package around what we believe about ourself, what we've learned through our surroundings, our family, our friends, our school, our mentors, who we grew up with, the neighborhood we showed up at, the church group we were around.

2:24It's all of what is shaped as who we believe we are and therefore who we show up in the world as. Now, people that can continue to grow, you know, you and I are entrepreneurs. I know a lot of entrepreneurs, business people are watching this or high performers are watching this. People that are looking for new levels are watching this. And sometimes the subconscious identity that is driving people's day to day has a set of rules that is holding people back. And so for people that somehow are able to figure out how to grow time over time, what are they doing differently? They're challenging their current level of thinking that brought them to where they are right now.

3:04and what is a new level of thinking? What is a new belief about self that is a little uncomfortable? That is ultimately what I've learned this over time, but for people who are new to this, it is ultimately what is required for new levels of growth. I love why I love what you're saying. It gets me excited is this. I think I've spent, I would say 20 years at least deep diving into this stuff into my own personal shit right and my own personal identity and I love it because I do believe this is one of those foundational things that if you can tap into this and really understand what was just even said what you just said it's not just understanding it it's about knowing how to to accept it and then the tools to fix it.

3:54So indirectly, what you just said is you can't outpace your own identity. You can't outwin your own identity. You can't outsell your own identity. You can't outgrow your own identity. You can't outlove your own identity. Meaning the identity that you put on yourself, not anyone else puts this on you. The identity that you put on yourself and limitations that you put on yourself and your identity is the bar at which you're living. So if someone's sitting here and this isn't about motivation, this is actually like facts. There's science behind it. It's reality. I know I can't wait to get into some examples of everybody that we know of who understood this at the highest level.

4:35If you fully understand the reality of how your identity is your limiting factor in many things, then you know what to do or at least have the awareness of what you can do to fix that. we show up in the world so good by the way we show up in the world as uh you know in school that one person stole your apple and therefore now that's developed a reactionary or personality side of you somebody bumps into you and it was an accident but you thought it was on purpose and therefore it like hits your ego just a little bit so all these like little little micro life experiences, kind of start creating a narrative like of what, of who we are, of how we react.

5:18What did mommy or daddy say about that thing? And therefore, well, if they taught it to you in this way, well, that that's just the way it is. You know, there's a, there's a family in my neighborhood that every time their nanny is walking these two kids, I hope, I hope my neighbors who I don't really even know, don't see this episode, but anyway, they are always saying, oh, she's really shy. Oh, she's so shy, right? It's a little two-year-old, three-year-old, four-year-old, there's two kids. And my wife and I always turn to each other like, because we have like almost a two-year-old, he's like 21 months, our little Luca.

5:52And I'm like, keep telling the kid that they're shy. They're going to start to believe that they're shy. And I think shyness or being outgoing or charismatic or brave to talk to people and to socialize people that are shy. I think it's just emotions that are unexplored and emotions that are unexplored for extended periods of time. And so the whole shyness thing when we're young or maybe even into adulthood, I think it's just adults that haven't embraced the discomfort of this newness of socializing and talking and, you know, whatever, like saying hi to the dog when you're walking by. And it's those repetitions that I think may turn somebody that who's maybe told that they're shy their entire life.

6:43If we flip it and say, well, you're not shy at all. You're brave. You're outgoing. And so it's like those rules that our surroundings impose upon us that bring us to where we are today. And I think what is really useful for people that are trying to figure out all right all right well how does how does one like level up from here well who would you have to be in order to become a Kobe Bryant for example you and I spoke a little bit off air about about Kobe or uh Beyonce or like there's a couple of these these identity examples that we can give people one thing that unlocked Kobe to these new levels is of his embracing of Black mamba it wasn't just a nickname kobe created rules with high performance coaches around him of okay great talented kobe who from college that who made it to the nba had all of this identity he's really good but what is the the creme de la creme highest performing and a snake is a black mamba.

7:54The meaning behind the snake, Kobe's like, oh my gosh, I love that. And I forget all the bullet points around how that snake acts, how that inquisitiveness of that snake shows up. And so Kobe wasn't Kobe Bryant, who he learned to be in high school and college. He started to act and behave as his new rules of who the black Mamba was. And that created the legend. Similar story with Beyonce. She's like, oh my gosh, going on stages and all these things. This was many years ago. She created Sasha Fierce as a new identity. She was nervous. She was a church girl singing R &B in Seoul. And now she's doing these gigantic arenas and provocative moves and these new levels.

8:42Sasha Fierce became her new identity? What were the new rules? And then eventually it becomes part of the self. You were, you always had it in you. You just needed to change the frame. I think if I may, there's like, there's so much here because there's the idea that I'm, what we were saying that Kobe and, and Beyonce had was we talked about their identity, right? In order for them to get to where they had to go, they had to level up their identity. when leveling up that identity, they had to stick to some rules and or behaviors of what that identity was, which brings me back to the whole concept.

9:24I'm not sure if you ever heard of that, that the be do have concept. And for those of you listening, if you have not heard this concept, I'm just going to say, because I think it's very important is a lot of people walk around saying, once I have this thing, then I'm going to do this thing. And then now I become this thing. And it's actually the opposite. And unfortunately, I would say 90 % of the population lives like that. The 10 % and then the 1 %ers, I mean, very different is they understand in order to have, you have to become. So if you want, this is the whole leveling up. This is what you've talked about earlier is getting uncomfortable at the identity level.

10:05Because the identity that you're at today is your comfort zone. You want to level up. You got to start operating, thinking, doing, becoming, saying the things you're scared to say, doing the things you never thought you had to do, leveling up your identity so you can become that person, i.e. become the Sasha Fierce, become the black mama. And as a result of living life, when those rules, you wake up one day and now you're those people. Is that what I'm hearing? I just want to make sure if that's what we're. Dude, I, a friend of mine, he coaches professional athletes, Olympians. His name's a shout out to Devin Bandison.

10:43He's sort of low key, but like, he's got some very, very well known clients that very few people even know that he's their coach. Let's just say that. And he's a mindset coach. and he literally, when I, when I asked him like, do you have a, there's like, there's a book you could recommend. Like, I obviously just want to like download his brain and upload it into my brain. And I've done my, my work on, on thinking about my thinking. And I know you've done your work about it. The inner game is the primary game, ladies and gentlemen, the inner game. It's not, what is the marketing strategy that's going to set me to the new, new level?

11:18What is the, this, or what is that? It's like literally Tony Robbins is a mentor, of mine, you can see I'm wearing a live lucky hat that Tony wears. 80%, what Tony says, I completely agree. And it's true. I'm living proof of it. 80 % of your success is mindset. And 20 % is the strategy and mechanics, period. Mindset, a lot of what we're talking about right now, identity, what do we believe we're even capable of? And if it's scary, are we going to step in to the unknown? You know, a really cool exercise I've done is like thinking back to all the past scary moments that were first day of high school, first day of college, first time doing an event, first time doing a big event at this five-star hotel.

12:06There was the fear. There was always the uncertainty. And there was always the discomfort. Always. But it was never as scary after the fact, looking, you know, reacting. Let's say the event example at the end of the event. Oh, my gosh, this was great. And I started to learn that the overwhelm that I might put on some of my thinking when I was younger was like 90 % self-induced, 90 % self-induced. And so the emotions that I now feel as I'm continuing to grow and continue to do new things that are unknown, that are into the abyss or into the unknown, I realize there's going to be the fear, there's going to be the uncertainty, and there's going to be the discomfort.

12:54It's those butterflies that is what growth feels like. And so the more that you can realize that, the more you can give yourself a bit of a gut check and say, oh, yeah, this is just new territory. And it's my body trying to protect myself and keep me in my comfort zone. But I want to grow. I want to achieve this. And I know out of the comfort zone is where the growth truly exists. Well, we know that, right? Like growth is definitely on the outside of the comfort zone. So then the question is this, right? And your identity is on the outside of the comfort zone. I would say, and I totally believe what you just, and I know Tony talks about too, like 80 % is mindset.

13:38It's funny because I always get these things that come to me when I hear this. And I feel like people are driving right now listening to this or they're walking and they're listening to this. And like someone just rolled their eyes. I always get that feeling. Like somebody, I've heard this before. and I want to speak to that person right now because I used to be like that and I think it's important for us to deep dive a little bit what does that actually mean you know all the greatness you hear these are all just like you know hallmark quote cards right like all your greatness is on the outside your comfort zone like even me sometimes I'm like oh my god like I'm so tired of hearing the the surface level the surface level shit about this right like what does it actually mean when people say, you know, you're, you know, all your greatness or, you know, all the things you want on the outside of your comfort zone.

14:28And I'm just going to, because today, right, you know, you're, what we're talking about is identity. I would say your new identity, the thing that you want, which requires a new identity also sits outside that comfort zone. Yeah. What does that really mean? People have these subconscious or self-imposed limitations that they don't even realize that exist. For example, oh, well, I'm just not going to hire somebody at a higher price point because the last person I hired was XYZ narrative. So wait, one situation of hiring is why you're never going to do it again. That's your thinking. That's a lot of your mindset.

15:09That's your belief systems. I got news for you. If you could say, man, I messed up with that first person. Maybe it was me as the owner. Maybe I am terrible at being a boss. Maybe I'm terrible of letting go. Maybe I don't know how to set up people who are going to come work for us. That's one example. Another example. Oh, well, I'm somebody that's just not good at marketing. So we're just going to like coast where we're at. Is that thinking going to help you get to the next level? there there's there's a mentor of somebody that i i met through through my my journey timothy paulson told the story about his dad who was so fascinated and interested about art and curiosity i think is a huge part of success as well huge and so his dad's like i love this painting thing what way when he was much younger i love painting this is great and like yeah you know keep trying keep trying he learned from his dad i'll fast forward the story to seek out the masters which is another word of saying being resourceful in areas and so his dad seeked out a really great artist in the area that he just knew it was in his part of the country and his name is buck paulson actually is his dad's name and fast forward he was around this master he was learning through this master and he didn't have this limitation of like i can't be an artist Like I've always said this to myself, Kayvon, like you probably as well.

16:43Like, oh, I don't know how to draw. Like, I'm not a good artist. Like, I don't know how to draw. I've never really given a good effort. And as a matter of fact, if I was around a master, I could probably become really good at drawing, by the way, now that I've learned. Fast forward, Buck Paulson had a TV show in his region around painting, literally. he went from just an average painter to world-class and so to the people who are walking around that have rules around uh well i'm not good at this or i'll never get to this point or our family has never been an entrepreneur uh you know i'm the only entrepreneur in my family uh no well it's just not in our our dna so i'm just going to take the comfort zone way out or it's all of these narratives inside of your brain that you don't you probably don't realize it, it's all fiction that you're telling yourself of what's possible.

17:37And you literally could just switch it around. What is the abundance frame of changing that? I'm going to be the first person because I have belief that even going into the complete unknown, that I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to seek out the masters and I'm going to be resourceful. And so for all the people listening, like challenge your current way of thinking, because there's so many rules that you've self-imposed that are limitations that you don't even realize. I'm writing this stuff down, as you can see. Marie, yeah, I was going to say Marie Forleo wrote a book called Everything is Figureoutable.

18:22Dude, I live my life like that. my my my now wife turned me down three times when i approached her politely i approached her politely i walked up a fourth time and finally she's like okay like we could chat we could have a drink and fast forward boom she became my wife uh there's a book called the third door by uh alex forget his last name starts with a b most people when their analogy of think more third door stop thinking like The masses, the masses are waiting in line at the nightclub in Vegas, hoping to get in. Maybe it'll be three hours. Door number two. And by the way, that's door number one.

19:02Door number two is VIP. If you know somebody, congratulations. Door number two is for you. Not everybody does. As a matter of fact, most people don't. Most people think there's only two doors inside. The third doorway of thinking is how I'm always approaching things is what's a way that nobody's thinking about? How, how can I figure this out? And so the third door analogy with the nightclub is, you know what, I'm going to like run around back of the building. I'm going to like run around the side. Is there any other way in? Maybe there's like a chef or, or somebody that's like cooking around back that I maybe could become buddies with.

19:42And maybe we have something in common and maybe his tattoo looks just like my tattoo. Maybe I could light his cigarette because he doesn't have a light. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's possible. And the third door will get you in even faster than the VIP sometimes, but you just have to believe that you could figure it out and think outside of the box. And this, and so this is what I mean. Too many people are like, well, the only way in the club is the line that's three and a half hours. All right, that's it. We can't do nothing. Third door thinking is what I recommend for people that are trying to level up and go into places that very few people have gone.

20:23It's interesting you say that because the third door thinking, it reminded me this one time with my wife, we were out on a date somewhere in LA and I got them from Canada, right? I got no, there's zero connections in LA at that time in my life, right? We heard about this club and sure enough, right? VIP line all the way one way, the regular line all the way one way. And if you've gone to enough clubs or bars, you already know it's over because what are you going to wait in the VIP? And then so I said, Kels, watch this. We got out of the like at that time we got out of like the regular Uber, right?

20:57I went around the corner and I ordered the black, the Uber black, like the SUV. And I said, Kels, I said, when this door, when I open this door, I said, you follow my command and you look straight. Right. And I told the guy, I told the guy, I said, listen, I'll pay you a little extra dollar. just come around and open the door for me right so we pull up to this club he gets out he opens the door i don't even i walk out i keep the door open for my wife right she gets out walk straight in like like i own the place and the guy the bouncers just gave me a look and i always wondered if that bouncer knew what was up and he just appreciated like the effort because he just kind of gave me that wink like it was one of those like i know exactly what you're doing but good on you They gave us the bands we were in and it was just, you know, we had an amazing night.

21:46But that's, you know, door number three. I want to I think is great to recap because as you were speaking here, I'm writing down. We're talking, you know, you're talking about IP and talking about, you know, models and everything. You know, the question was asked, like, how do we go deeper from the hey, all your comfort zone, you know, you're you know, all your dreams and outside are outside your comfort zone. And you just said some crazy things here. So I'm going to repeat them back to you just so we're all on the same page. What it means to be outside your comfort zone is first taking a radical responsibility of yourself.

22:24Number two is becoming resourceful. Three I wrote down is be a little curious. Four was you got to challenge your current thinking. And the fifth one, which we talked about is the third door is being creative. So if we know those to be true, this is where I get, I'm always like, I'm not good enough. The entire podcast is the vault unlocked. The idea is like, what's the one thing? So this is the second thing. Like this is layer two, but what's the layer underneath this? Okay, great. You've convinced me, right? That my dreams are outside my comfort zone. So let's say I believe in that. Okay. And then we've just heard that in order to get outside your comfort zone, we got to be radical responsibility of ourselves.

23:12We got to be creative. We got to be resourceful. We got to be curious and we got to challenge our current thinking. Okay. I buy that. Okay. But then what? What happens when the identity pops in, in my current thinking, in my ability to challenge myself, in my ability to be resourceful? And the identity pops in and goes, but, oh, you're not good enough. Oh, remember, you're not worthy enough. Oh, remember, they said you're not going to ever make it. What happens when that starts piling in? You learn to shut down the voice when you've done it enough times is the direct response. For people who are new to it, you know, take bold action before you even feel ready.

24:00like oh okay i know how to do it but yeah i'm gonna still wait for another year in order to start my book because then i'll be ready no ship it when you're 60 ready when you're 80 ready because the growth is in the micro failures and missteps and i i thought i was going to approach my book this way but i'm going to approach it differently because because i decided i'm writing a book i was talking to somebody about it. And they actually said, Oh, actually I have some advice on how you can write a book and it'd be even better. Right? So it's like the faster you could take action, the faster you could put it out in the world, get feedback.

24:39You're going to be so surprised through the iterations that you're going to go through that it's better to iterate and write your book now in this analogy than delay and be in your head for 12 months. And then in this imaginary 12 month future, where whatever reason you told yourself as to why that's the best time, it's best to ship it now when you don't feel ready so that you can just lean into it and iterate and learn and iterate and learn because there's only two results with anything that you're going to be moving forward. I've distilled down like my entire journey. What is it? Why have I been successful?

25:16It's either I've learned from this and it was a failure or it was a success. So I'm accelerating my wisdom through failing as fast as I possibly can through missteps, through I don't know what I'm doing, through imperfect action or it's success. There's never a failure from the lens that I see the world now. and it's always, oh, I just lost all this money because somebody screwed me over in a freelancer capacity. Oh, I learned my lesson. Next time we got to do it differently. Next time we got to do it this way. And so I'm accelerating my wisdom. And for everybody listening, do the thing. You're likely one decision away.

26:01My buddy, Ed Milet, I saw him speak and it was the most wonderful talk. It's just one decision sometimes and you just keep delaying it. It's been six months, 12 months, 12 years. You keep telling yourself you're not ready. One decision. Do it before you feel ready and iterate and iterate and iterate and you'll be far further along than you could ever imagine. That's the secret. What to do now? All the people in their head thinking, do it now. Do it before you feel ready. You don't need to do it alone. Be resourceful. Go find the person around the club. I don't know how to do marketing. Go to a marketing event.

26:42Learn something. Be around people. Who has done or who helps people do what I'm trying to do? You don't need to travel into the abyss all alone. Sorry, I got passionate there. But I... I love it. I'm letting you go. I'm hearing everything you're saying. As you were saying and you were speaking, I was thinking, yes, yes, yes, and yes. what about the greats greats like what because we talked about it like let's say i you know for for the respect of kobe bryant and who he is and what he's done now we're talking about the one percent the zero zero point one percent we're talking about the tom brady's you know i love this question beyonce love this question what are they doing different than the rest of us who decided to take, you know, that decision, radical responsibility and step outside their comfort zone, but still have yet or haven't ascended to that next level?

27:43What's that next deeper layer that's happening for these guys, their identities that take them to the places they've gone and impacted, I mean, millions and thousands and, you know, possibly billions of people in the world. They're not allowing any negative memories of the past that may cause anxiety in the present. They're not allowing any potential failures of the future, create any anxieties or pressure in the present. They're only being present and believing they are fully capable and they have the identity. There's a really great book called Greatness by David Cook. He was a mindset coach for the San Antonio Spurs.

28:23He helped Tim Duncan, who was in the slump, become the legendary Tim Duncan that we all know, the Hall of Famer. I think he's made it to the Hall of Fame. If not, he will be in the Hall of Fame. I guarantee it. He also coached over 50 or 100 professional golfers and other business owners, professional athletes. And his entire magic is around three words or an acronym, which is SFT. like s is c the target of what you're trying to achieve with clarity right if you're a golfer it's the drive if you're a basketball player and there's six seconds left and they're going to be getting you the ball you're going to see what's going to happen in advance you're going to see the path you're going to feel you're going to see it the The F is feel.

29:20You're going to feel that you have everything capable inside of you to make it happen without a shadow of the doubt. Self-belief, feeling you're fully capable. And you ready for the next one? T. Trust and having grace. In the uncertainty. in the, oh, well, there's no doubt of, oh, what if it doesn't happen? It's trusting that it will. And SFT is not worrying about the shot that you missed three minutes ago, because you could beat yourself up and put yourself in the hole thinking about that shot for, nope, reset, SFT. So the Jordans, the Colby's, the Tim Duncan's, the Tiger Woods, they are back at the baseline.

30:15I actually saw, I actually heard Ed Milet and Phil Mickelson, probably one of the top five golfers of all time talking. And he literally was talking about how reset every single time back to positive, back to abundance, back to seeing, back to feeling, back to trusting. And I think this acronym is so powerful. And I think that's the one percenter is people that could get back to baseline, back to belief in self without any external noise about the past or future, influencing the right now. As the legendary, I think it was the legendary Ted Lasso says, be a minnow. Is it? I don't know if I heard this one.