Are You Stuck in a Perfectionism Trap? & The Truth About Supplements

0:00At Sierra, discover top workout gear at incredible prices, which might lead to another discovery. Your headphones haven't been connected this whole time. Awkward. Discover top brands at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving.

0:18When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets Mom's 60th. And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end-to-end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. Welcome to The Wellness Scoop, your weekly dose of health and wellness inspiration. And as always, we're here with your hosts. I'm Ella Mills. And I'm Rhianna Lambert. And after a decade in the wellness industry, we know how overwhelming and confusing health advice can be.

1:01so that's why we created this podcast to cut through the noise and make healthier living simple fun and personal okay this week as we said we would never leave you high and dry while we're on a little summer break so we have got a little best of the bits that you guys have been asking for the topics that are most relevant in the world of health and wellness today here's a reminder of all the things that matter and that we have loved from this year

1:28oh recommendations um good recommendations please okay i've got a i'm gonna say i've got a really good recommendation yeah i'm backing myself today i love this recommendation i think it's going to speak to a lot of us here so i've given it a little bit of extra time this week i think probably we have a very female heavy audience i think probably quite a lot of us could relate to the idea of perfectionism and always trying to kind of self-improve and better ourselves and just very high expectations and pressure on ourselves to do things kind of quote unquote perfectly. And I then came across this piece in the Style magazine from the Times this weekend and it was called Is Maximizing Your Life Making You Miserable?

2:06Now I hadn't heard of the term maximizing before but maximizers basically sit right alongside those perfectionists. It's the idea that you just can't quite ever let good enough be enough which as I said, Reece nodding to I'm nodding to I think probably quite a lot of you are nodding to and it's just this essential constant focus on self-improvement optimization chasing this imagined sense of wholeness that I think has become very prolific in our society today and maximizes essentially was talking about you always have to have the perfect restaurant recommendation the perfect matcha latte the perfect this it's like good enough fine it's just not enough you feel this pressure to always do it perfectly and I think what I really wanted to pull out is that this kind of more more more mentality this belief that we're channeling into self-help wellness productivity that there's always a perfect way of doing it and we've got to do that is making us miserable and I just feel like for all of us to reflect on it's really important because we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves but it's not worth it so this stat really stood out so a 2018 study by York St John University found that levels of perfectionism especially something called socially prescribed perfectionism so that's the belief that other people expect you to be perfect for you to be accepted increased by 33 amongst young people between 1989 and 2017 so essentially the time that lots of us grew up and the researchers are predicting that by 2050 so not too long from now one in three people are going to be negatively affected by this pressure and this type of perfectionism so I just think it's a real wake-up call and something for us all to reflect on today to actually just be so much more gentle with ourselves.

3:50We do not need to consistently drive to appear flawless, you know, to always be achieving more. It's exhausting but it's actually harmful and I think this quote summed it up really well. There's something pretty gluttonous about this endless pursuit of bettering yourself. We're trying to break our personal best, meditate deeper, go to the best restaurants, all with a more, more, more mentality. Even downtime becomes stressful. you're trying to unwind when you read something about sleep maxing and suddenly you're falling down a sleep optimization rabbit hole that advises drinking a magnesium cocktail and taping your mouth shut at bedtime so you know i think this is why the show exists in that sense but it's like let's just do our best and let our best be more than good enough and just be a lot more gentle on ourselves because the pressure is there but it's not making us happy and happiness is a key driver of health?

4:37So two thoughts in my head when you're reading out that quote is it's so interesting because obviously there must be an evolutionary aspect to the human race that wants to keep striving right so that we're dealing with an evolutionary adaption of wanting to be the best but on the flip side you're dealing with now a media heavy world where you can see everything we never used to see which I think we'll have to discuss on an extra scoop when we do social media in more depth. But it's just not normal to see everything in such a curated way. It's not healthy and it's not good for us. And yeah, maximizing.

5:13I don't like it. I don't like it, but I'm totally guilty of it at times as well. And feeling like, yeah, putting a lot of pressure on myself. And actually, it's amazing how different you feel when you release the pressure valve. So guys, go release the pressure valve. You are doing more than enough. Yeah. And apparently the article said there's something called satisficing satisficing which is basically just being really satisfied with good enough choices you know meaningful decisions rather than optimal ones it's not like settling and kind of just being really passive and giving up but it's allowing yourself to step off a hamster wheel of perfectionism and ask what's right for me right now it's making my easy oat bars and not feeling you have to make a full-on cake that is exactly what it is love it

6:00okay the health headlines that matter what have we got today re on a totally different topic i'm just reading our next headline ella i love it it's the pet one can your pet make you happier than your partner okay so there was a brand new study that came out in the uk that found that owning a cat or a dog can improve your well-being just as much as getting married can or earning new money so this was researchers from the university of kent and they were looking at data from two and a half thousand households in the uk and they found that having a pet gave people a three to four point boost in life satisfaction and that life satisfaction is only measured on a seven point scale so three to four point move is mega and that is the same happiness bump those three to four points that you would get from getting married or wait for it bringing in extra 70 000 a year yeah no yeah interestingly just one note the effect was strongest in women and those under 65 and I wonder if that's because we're having this real spike in loneliness in younger generations and the pets combating and we know that obviously loneliness is so bad for our health and potentially yeah the kind of massive boost is in people who are feeling lonelier and that is now younger generations versus elder ones.

7:13It makes sense I do see a lot more people getting a dog before they have kids now or something like that you know before they do it and I can say on a nutritional perspective that having a pet is good for your gut microbiome so it exposes you to different types of bugs and that is known and shown in research to be really beneficial and then you take them outside more. I mean I'm a cat owner but I still go outside with my cat. I have a cat lead. A cat lead. I love that. Because after my cat was sadly in an accident last year she got hit by a car. She survived. She definitely has nine lives. The air tag saved her because we found her she was wearing an air tag on her collar everybody but I got a cat lead so she could get fresh air while she was recovering from her injury in the garden and it meant I got outside more I love that yeah I mean getting having a dog definitely gets you walking as you said so you've got the kind of loneliness connection you've got time in nature which is amazing you've got gut health support so again a nice illustration of the fact the wellness is very 360 and I believe on a spiritual level and I do believe animals can feel our emotions.

8:18I know whenever I'm down or a bit sad or just not feeling right, my cat just comes and sits next to me or lies on me or gives me a cuddle. There must be something in emotional support massively. Absolutely. And as we know, loneliness is one of the key indicators of good health. So there we go, guys. So tell us about the broken plate. Right. This was very exciting. I mean, exciting, but also devastating at the same time because we've got new data, which is always good. So the Food Foundation have published their 2025 report on trends. And this came out a week and a half ago, I think. I remember getting the newsletter from my Association of Nutrition.

8:53And it's about the impact of our food system in the UK. And the report uses 13 key metrics to provide a snapshot of the current food environment and the outcome measures on our diet quality, the environmental impact on our health. And what it basically shows is that eating healthy has never been more expensive, which we all know. And healthier food, based basically on its nutrient profiles, so how many vitamins and minerals it has within it, protein, it's more than twice as expensive per calorie as junk food. So it's no wonder that we have problems in this country and healthier options have increased in price as twice the rate of less healthy options basically in the last two years.

9:34So the broken complaint report and this was presented in the government it says that growing cost of eating is basically making the problem of health inequality greater and the most deprived fifth of the population would need to spend 45 percent of their disposable income on food to meet the government recommended healthy diet raising to 70 percent for households with children how can you spend 70 percent of your income on food well you can't you simply can't yeah and We've also got, you know, over a third of food and non-alcoholic drink advertising spend that's on confectionery, snacks, desserts, soft drinks compared to just 2%.

10:10So there's such a huge divide on fruit and veg. And this is what was really shocking, Ella, and I think you'll agree here, is that three quarters, so 74 % of the baby and toddler snacks that have, you know, the front of pack claims on them contain high or medium levels of sugar. And then only 3 % of breakfast cereals and 5 % of yogurts marketed to children are low in sugar. I know I still remember standing we just launched into co-op this was maybe 18 months ago and Matt and I spent like an hour in there scouring the shelves just really trying to understand the layout and you know how delicious the Ella looked in there and again one of those moments where you're like how are we the only natural product in here anyways I remember looking at the cereal fixture and just seeing lots of Cocoa Pops packs that had a massive sticker on the front or round on the front that said supporting your family's health and I don't know why it stuck with me so much because it's not an isolated event.

11:05I mean, there's lots of products like that marketed in that way. But it just was really penny dropping moment of thinking, I just don't understand how anyone could ever navigate this. These are cheap. They're really appealing to children. They have no nutritional benefit, but they have a sprinkling of multivitamin, which allows you to make claims about having vitamin D, for example, which allows you to make health claims that feel very appealing and therefore say things like supporting your family's health. But it's absolutely extraordinary that you're allowed to say things like that. But I think one of the other key findings that was really interesting to me, and certainly something I see a lot, is a quarter of places, so 26%, where you can buy food in England are fast food outlets, and that's remained unchanged in six years.

11:48And I find it often like, I don't know, we stopped for petrol last weekend and looking at the shelves in the garage and like, unless you wanted a banana or an apple there was nothing in there that wasn't like neutral it was fully ultra processed food to the extremes like really really really unhealthy and as i said when we were talking about what we had for breakfast and i had a caramel slice there is nothing wrong with having a treat there is nothing bad about that but the problem is is it's just so difficult to find healthy options on a regular basis and therefore make things a one-off as opposed to the core of what you eat and I just think it's absolutely extraordinary.

12:28It's the nuance as well involved here where we're talking about you know household incomes and inequality as well with health and if you've got the more deprived levels of population where perhaps their children will only literally eat Cocoa Pops in the morning because that's all they've ever known so they're used to that sweet palate they don't have the time to be stressing out those options so I'm relieved they are fortified just to put that out there it's great that these unhealthy items are fortified at least to give children some nourishment. But it goes to show the lack, the financial means, the access to decent food.

13:00The government has to step up because this is such a big, big, big problem. And with people conditioned to junk food already, once you're on that hyperpalatable food and once your children aren't used to it and you're used to it and your life is stressful, your life is hard, you've got no money, it just doesn't make it easy for you. So anyway, the broken plate is very depressing, but it's data that we've needed for a long time. The health professionals are now pushing, we're lobbying, we're trying really, really, really hard to tell the government, look, you have to support change. They have to sponsor and help companies like yourselves and other companies to make decent switches.

13:39And I get it. In a garage, like you said, you stop off at a petrol station. That item that sits there has to last for forever because they're not a supermarket. They have to have these types of items. But generically speaking, children, come on. Kids deserve so much better in this country. Well, there was a lot of follow up, obviously, in the papers about the broken plate report because it is shocking. I mean, it's completely, for want of a better word, unacceptable to be living in such a developed country that's so wealthy in comparison to so many other countries in the world. and yet the lowest, the most deprived fifth of our population would have to be spending 70 % of their income to feed their children properly.

14:21I mean that's just, as I said, unacceptable. Would you heat your house or do you feed your children? Like who should have to make that decision? And these aren't choices that anyone should have to be making and I think as you said it just shines a light on just how broken our food system is and how radical the change has to be and I think I've certainly found it really interesting looking at that over the last however long. the fact that there's this really interesting kind of tussle between people saying we don't want a nanny state we don't want to be told what to do but equally I find it hard to believe without very very serious government intervention we're not going to have a problem that's only continuously exacerbated like I don't really see a way out without really extreme government intervention in which they have to have negative VAT on fruits and vegetables and you have to have really clever mechanisms at place.

15:11You know, you have to, in the way that we have taxed cigarettes, like you're going to have to tax very unhealthy food in order to make healthy food cheaper. I think they're not really solutions that people want. And I'm not surprised and no one wants to be told what to do. But equally, given the damage that it's causing and the completely unfair nature of it, it's very, very difficult to sit here and think that continuing on the path that we're on is viable in any shape or form. Just think of the stretch on the NHS because our diet, as we know, is linked to all these different metabolic diseases.

15:41And in the future, that's an increased risk, sadly, of diabetes, of heart disease, of obesity, and all these different areas that impact our health and impact the strain on our health systems. And then we're looking at an ageing population with a multitude of problems. And I saw in the press yesterday, and a journalist had written, you know, processed meat, read and processed meat, is so pushed on children today that we're looking at a future generation of majorly high record numbers of bowel cancers. And you just think, what is going on? We're pushing unhealthy items at every single corner onto the future generations.

16:16So give us some swaps, Ella. How can we save money and cook better? Well, yes, exactly. Because one thing I was going to say is there were so many people then talking about, OK, but what can we actually do today? And what are some things I want to ask you about fresh or frozen? Because I know you've been talking about that recently again in the press, which I think is a really interesting one because frozen is oftentimes a lot cheaper and oftentimes also healthier. But interestingly, and this is some research we've done for something completely separately, obviously cooking at home is the cheapest way to eat well.

16:45There's no getting around it. Now, obviously, you can then look at all the problems we have with that in terms of not teaching people now properly to cook at school, not making people feel empowered and confident. That's also I think it's up to a million people who don't have a household, who don't have a fridge in the UK. again like this inequality making that difficult so i don't mean to push past that but if you are able to cook at home more then that is extraordinary and you can be using ingredients like dried legumes for example which obviously are so much cheaper whole grain seasonal veg but in that and we're not talking about this because because i a plant-based diet but plant-based options are often so much cheaper and when i say plant-based i don't mean meat mimics because those can be expensive.

17:25I mean, switching to using chickpeas or lentils, for example. And there's a few different reports on this. But actually, it's looked to be about a third cheaper to do your shop as a veggie or vegetarian diet where you're using those plant-based sources of protein. And obviously, also, that's so beneficial for the environment. And we actually cost it up again. This was something different, but I just thought it was interesting. A winter bolognese recipe we done which is leeks, carrots, celeriac just for being super seasonal, some herbs, tofu, tomato and it was about one, depends where you shop but like£1.50 to£1.80 a serving but with beef as a traditional bolognese it would be additional 40 to 45p a person making it about£2.50 to£2.20 a serving so really meaningful difference actually and if you kind of replicated£1.75 versus£2.17 across the week for a family of four, continuing to swap animal protein for plant protein in an evening meal, you'd be saving almost£12 across the week or£600 across the year.

18:24Wow. Which I thought was really interesting. And again, it's not about going 100 % plant-based, but it is just an interesting note. It's also better for the environment. Exactly. And you're not having to store things in the fridge in the same way because you can buy those ingredients. You can even buy frozen bags and things and use it on the day if you don't have one. But it's the meat. It's meat and fish that you're storing. Totally, and because meat mimics have been so kind of had this boom and now they've gone completely bust. And we'll talk about that, actually, I think, interestingly next week.

18:51But those were obviously quite expensive. So I think that people then had this view that plant-based had to be expensive because you had to buy a chicken replica or a bacon replica. But actually, if you're using, as I said, like lentils, then it's a lot, lot cheaper. So many countries in the world, look at India and places where they've got a huge vegetarian population. They love their lentils and their pulses. they know how to cook with them so well, don't they? Like the inspiration we get from those recipes. A hundred percent. If you know how to cook with them well, they can be so delicious.

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20:47Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Ella, what is trending in wellness this week? OK, so morning routines. This is a kind of never ending trend, right? And I'm just going to preface this with I really like a morning routine. It does not happen every morning, not even a tiny bit. but I love to aim for a morning routine. But there was a feature that we wanted to pick up of that was in the Times and it was called how extreme is your daily routine? And the feature dives into the extreme wellness routines that I think to be honest, have massively popularized online and we've all seen. And I think, again, just to circle back to what we were saying a moment ago about curiosity of our listeners are feeling the same pressure to kind of do all these things and add all these extra steps into their day in the name of health and wellbeing.

21:36to me a lots of it comes from these types of morning routines morning sheds that you showed me exactly and so in this one it was taking three kind of relatively high profile influencers people in the wellness space and looking at their morning routines all three of them started around five o 'clock in the morning and by 9 a.m they'd done red light therapy nad plus injections mouth taping or taking that off from the overnight hyperbaric oxygen sessions electromagnetic field therapy meditation journaling cold plunges workouts tailored to their mental cycles supplements customized to their dna something called intranasal photobiomodulation which is basically shining light up your nose to stimulate your brain and i'm not criticizing any of those three women in their individual life i think if these things make you happy and they make you feel amazing it's your prerogative within reason but this proliferation of the conversation I think is the bit that I wanted to pick up on because to me and we've talked about this so much recently I just worry a lot and again very curious what our listeners think that this is now seen as what wellness is.

22:46Cost of fortune Ella the first thing I was thinking when you're reading off I don't even know what a hyperbaric oxygen session is how do you even do that in your house you know and then they're saying they're tailoring what did this photo biomodulation thing and then the nad plus injections we've discussed you know they cost a fortune as well this is expensive and you've got to have a lot of kit to do this sort of thing and i would prefer to get an extra hour sleep maybe even two yeah definitely 100 i think again this isn't wellness is it at all this is stress yeah that's a really interesting way of putting it for me it's pressure but i think it's also stress in the pressure and i think it is again we've talked about it last week but i'm quite maybe single-minded on it in this concern about this self-optimization and i like i'm very conscious of aging and definitely you know want to look after myself and feel good in myself but there is a sensible balance of also just enjoying life and kind of going with the flow and doing what you can to feel great, but equally not putting so much pressure on yourself that you have like a three hour routine before the day starts.

23:55And like Ella said, if this works for you, that is actually really cool. But I think it's just not accessible to so many that it can, like I said, it feels very overwhelming. My concern is that, and then again, this is where I'm so interested to hear your guys' thoughts on it. My concern is that people are starting to feel that they're doing wellness wrong if they're not doing this sort of thing, which is so popularized on TikTok and social media, et cetera, because they're not engaging in the trends. And so they feel like they're not really participating in wellness. But as we've seen from all these leading scientists and researchers and amazing data analysts, the research in terms of what wellness actually is, is getting a pet.

24:37But no, I mean, it is your diet. It's the kind of foundations. It's your stress. It's your sleep. It's these kind of more basic things. and I worry that it's all just becoming too intense and even in this article they're talking about sleep tracking rings and having a kind of essentially I think it's scored out of 100 and this person was getting kind of 97 98 score so again this now we're putting pressure on ourselves to sleep perfectly and I know sleep is vital to health and I'm not devaluing some routine around sleep leaving your phone downstairs maybe doing a quiet meditation before bed doing things to help you actively unwind to get a better night's sleep massive advocate for that because sleep's so crucial to health but I'm just worrying that we're now getting competitive and optimizing everything and is it fun it's not fun it's almost like orthorexia the pursuit of cleanness in eating the eating disorder territory it's almost like this yeah pursuit of perfection in wellness and it's very all or nothing what happens if you do have one bad night of sleep is the whole routine then off the next day yeah and am i almost like morally a bad person yeah because i've got it wrong oh that was a listener question um that we had so many people saying they loved our mention of the morality behind food and we should definitely delve into that more because i feel like there's moral compasses with lots of things that we could potentially discuss but you know i consult for on the side of nutrition a health tech app called rio and it's the one of the things they always say is we're building the car whilst driving it because tech and all these wellness trends are so fast, it takes so long.

26:10The studies are slow. So like with the cold therapy we discussed, they were all the rage last year. Even in lockdown, I think everyone was doing it. And now suddenly the research is coming out saying, hang on a minute, guys, this could kill you. And it's not all as cracked up to be. Yeah, and it takes time. So what can we say? I don't think it sounds very fun. Have you got any kind of morning routine? It's just the green tea. I think I said that last week I wake up and I cannot start my day without my green tea in a mug. And to be honest, I would like to try a bit more of a morning routine, but my focus is very much the children and I don't put myself first.

26:48And my problem is I get to bed too late to wake up earlier. So I need to work on my nighttime routine first so then I can have a morning routine. That sounds very sensible. Have you got any like daily non-negotiables? the green tea is definitely the only thing I definitely need to start my day with my day does not start unless I've had my hydration in the morning my non-negotiable would be what's a really good question Ella dark chocolate blueberries food wise cannot live without them every day there's not a day and this whole year where I haven't had dark chocolate or blueberries every day isn't that funny it's quite expensive but you know it's my one look the card shop is full of the food for the kids the meals I'm gonna make for them the one thing I get for myself are those two things and the berries can be frozen and I eat them every single day how about you I try with a morning routine you do you're good though yeah I give it a good go definitely didn't do it last this morning I just find the days are so busy and the mornings for the kids are so busy that having even 20 minutes or so where you're kind of prioritizing yourself a bit and carving out a bit of calm before whatever unfolds really helpful and generally I do a five to 15 minute depending how much time I feel I have meditation or breath work which I find very helpful someone who's a real overthinker I'm fascinated by this because I just don't think I could do that breath work is very helpful because it's so guided in terms of if it feels very new to you and my brain just runs at a million miles an hour and I get really, I overthink everything.

28:25I get way too concerned and het up and anyway, and I find it a very helpful way to kind of set my mind up for the day. And I'm definitely happier, calmer person when I do it regularly, not necessarily every day. And then I make coffee and we just drink coffee, my husband and I pretty quietly. And it's so nice. And then by the time the kids are awake and the day unfolds, I feel ready. I mean, you have to be changed before they're awake. Oh my goodness. Yeah. If I haven't showered and got changed before they wake up it's just game over just not good that's really good so I think my my goal now is going to be to try and do some breath work in the morning maybe I'm going to set myself that and put my phone away at bed just five minutes makes such a difference and I think yeah as I said I I'm quite an advocate for morning routines but I think I just was also much bigger advocate for taking the pressure off ourselves and I think that's definitely the kind of overarching theme.

29:18Do you think you're a night owl or an early bird? Early bird. You're an early bird. Yeah, see, I think I am a bit of a night owl and I wish I wasn't. I wish I was an early bird, but I've got better since having children. Guys, trend number two. The one I wanted to bring to the table today, mostly because I just love it, was the growing trend of sobriety. Yes. I completely gave up drinking. So back in 2011, when I got unwell, until around like 2015, I didn't drink at all. And I found it so isolating. I don't drink a lot now, but I am very basic. I love a spicy margarita avocado toast, a blueberry matcha.

29:57Did you just have a ton of toast with your avocado toast? No, just like those are the sorts of things I love. What cocktail is that? I'm embarrassingly basic as a person, potentially, but I do love a spicy margarita. I do love a glass of wine, but I don't drink very much. I probably drink like twice a month. But when I was in my 20s I found not drinking very isolating and I felt I do I remember so clearly someone saying to me like at dinner a party of people who'd be we'd been at uni together and someone's flat and they were like sat down next to me and someone's like do you want wine and I said no and the person next to me said oh my gosh I'm sitting next to you this is gonna be so boring and I've carried that kind of fear of being boring because I'm not drinking with me I still it's still like my deepest beer now is being boring someone sent us an instagram message and replied to the show being like you two are so funny and i was like no one's ever called we were celebrating we were like my gosh people normally laugh at me not with me thanks guys um anyway i just i felt so ostracized i just felt like such a loser and i then started pretending to drink so i would say like yes i'll have white wine or i'll have red wine and almost like semi drink it so that no one Yeah, no one asked any questions.

31:08No, and I was lucky because at uni, I was a mature student anyway at 21, not really, but I was a singer. So my excuse for not drinking, and it always was, was my voice and being a classical soprano. I noticed that, but I had no social life because half the time I didn't want to be out late because this borgore thing is great to me, this 2024 trend. That was me like 15 years ago, not drinking and staying in. I think that's me always, my whole life. But now it's cool, Ella. So look, there's so many spirits that are alcohol free. And I'm like, you know, I love a glass of bubbly, actually. That's my one thing is I do love a Prosecco.