Session 101: Julia & Payton

5:13Payton Purther:Yeah, they were, like, at a rave with her suitcase. And they were, like, me. Yeah, they were just, like, girl, it was all about, like, her finding herself.

5:24Julia Mervis:Was she, like, yeah, I literally just ended my engagement? Why was she on FaceTime with her? And then she put on this.

5:29Payton Purther:By the way, so there's no money for the wedding, right? Because the parents don't support it. She goes, she gets her dress, her wedding dress, and cancels her wedding. Puts her, like, you know, like, when people go, like, backpacking in Europe and they have those backpacks? Like a hiking pack. Yeah. Like, for some reason, Belly has one at her wedding. And she puts the wedding dress in it. Throws it into her backpack to go study for a semester abroad without being signed up for a semester abroad.

5:59Julia Mervis:When she lands in Paris, I saw on Twitter, she, like, calls Jeremiah,

6:03Payton Purther:and he's like hey girl like what's up yeah and he's like let's get back together maybe and she's like i'm saying no and he goes okay fuck you bye

6:11Julia Mervis:that's like pretty much exactly what my question is like i really would like to know does taylor give her songs to sing for free jenny han wrote a letter she wrote a letter saying what your songs

6:23Payton Purther:are like would change to me i listened to fearless the whole time i wrote the books i'm obsessed with you and taylor said yes jenny is like number one swifty like jenny's putting easter eggs in the the show has its own Easter eggs. And they're, by the way, I just got full buddy chills. Genius.

6:37Julia Mervis:What are the Easter eggs?

6:39Payton Purther:Like there are hydrangeas in the front yard and they're blue for Jeremiah. And then when her feelings start coming back for Conrad, there's like a blue, there's a red hydrangea. Cause Lovingham is red.

6:51Julia Mervis:That's honestly kind of thick.

6:53Payton Purther:Yeah. And then like the night before her wedding. Every scene where she's like having like doubts and like they put her in these positions, like she's just like for some reason wearing red. And the night before her wedding when she's like having like issues thinking about Conrad, she puts on a red bikini and goes swimming.

7:09Julia Mervis:I remember that swimming scene. I actually did watch that. Where did Conrad go to college?

7:13Payton Purther:He went to Brown and then transferred to Stanford.

7:15Julia Mervis:Where'd Jeremiah go?

7:16Payton Purther:Finch. And want to know who else goes to Finch?

7:21Julia Mervis:Belly. Wait, wait. I'm confused. Why did she ever leave Conrad? Like what's the premise here?

7:26Payton Purther:Okay, so he like is honestly like. He's low key tears. He's total tears. Why? He just like, he gives his love and then he takes it away. He's really like emotionally unavailable. He's super, and he doesn't like show or express his emotions. Like world's worst communicator pretty much of all time. Like how though? Like he just won't tell her how much he loves her. Like she has, she has no idea like what he really feels for her. And he just like is kind of nasty. I mean, even what? Like he, for example, he bought her for her birthday, like an infinity necklace. Cause it's supposed to be like their sign.

7:55Payton Purther:And he like wouldn't give it to her. And on her birthday, the family is sitting together and they were like, everyone give Belle your presents and he goes I forgot it was her birthday. And it's like he has the fucking infinity necklace in his dresser drawer all wrapped up with a bow on it. Fucking give her the necklace. You bought it for her. Give it to her. Why? He's just like tears. When was this? Season two? Season two? Season one. Yeah.

8:13Julia Mervis:Maybe I should get into this. I just don't understand. Like when she took an edible and danced to We Can't Be Friends and played them on.

8:24Payton Purther:That's your dream. That bitch was making a bomb rat at it in her head while she was tripping on shrooms. It was weed. So weed can't be friends. Okay. But yeah, it was weed.

8:34Julia Mervis:What was your favorite? Okay.

8:35Payton Purther:That was the best episode of the whole season. Yeah.

8:37Julia Mervis:Well, that was a good one. I saw a few clips of that.

8:39Payton Purther:Wait, no. No, it was the next one. The one where they called the wedding off was the best episode. Ugh.

8:44Julia Mervis:And the mom's like so pumped.

8:46Payton Purther:It was just a shit show, honestly. And then Jeremiah starts bullying the mom and goes, Laurel, I know you're happy. You never wanted this to happen. And Laurel was like, damn.

8:54Julia Mervis:And then, so. I mean, I think we can.

8:58Payton Purther:Susanna dies in season like pretty much two. Like the first episode. And how does she pass? She's like already dead. She has cancer.

9:04Julia Mervis:And did she find out she has cancer in season one?

9:06Payton Purther:Yeah. She had it. Was in remission and then it came back and she was like I don't want to do treatment. Like I'm just it's my time. And she lied to everyone because she wanted everyone to have one final summer of peace.

9:14Julia Mervis:Oh wait. What? This show sounds amazing.

9:16Payton Purther:Yeah. Just a couple buddy shows if you were wondering.

9:19Julia Mervis:And that's why they always say it's what Susanna would have wanted.

9:22Payton Purther:It's what Susanna would have wanted. It's what Susanna would have wanted. That's been our bit for at least two weeks. It's what Susanna would have wanted. Because like they use her as a scapegoat for everything. Is that the right word? Excuse?

9:38Payton Purther:Okay. Yep. Next.

9:42Julia Mervis:I think both of those work.

9:44Payton Purther:I think we can all agree that. Do you watch? Yeah, I just caught up last night. And what happened to Cleveland? Cleveland erasure. It was Cleveland erasure.

9:56Julia Mervis:Well, how was your guys' double date the other night?

9:58Payton Purther:Oh. I don't even think we should give him air time. I'm dead serious. I agree. I know. It's what he would have wanted.

10:09Julia Mervis:So you don't want to talk about the double date?

10:10Payton Purther:I mean, it was one of the worst nights ever. It was one of the worst. Straight fucking tears. It was one of the worst nights ever. And like, respectfully, like, I think that me and Peyton could go on a date, a double date with two bricks and have a good time. Me too. And we would change their life and rock their world. Yeah. And like us in two pieces of cement. Best night ever. You know it's bad when we're sitting under the table.

10:34It was tears.

10:36Julia Mervis:Did you walk in and it was like straight tears right away?

10:39Payton Purther:Baby, you know the answer.

10:41Julia Mervis:I just got unseen sunscreen in my eye.

10:44Payton Purther:What? Super goop?

10:45Julia Mervis:Mm-hmm.

10:46Payton Purther:How did it get in your eye like just now?

10:48Julia Mervis:It's like gooping all over my face.

10:50Payton Purther:Why are you wearing sunscreen?

10:51Julia Mervis:Because we were supposed to do this on the terrace until I found out the generator was going to overheat.

10:55Payton Purther:You put on sunscreen to film outside.

10:57Julia Mervis:Yes, of course. That's good.

10:58Payton Purther:It's very good of you.

11:00Julia Mervis:Thanks. I'm doing my skincare now.

11:02Payton Purther:Right. You're in your road era.

11:04Julia Mervis:Why did you guys stop watching Scandal?

11:06Payton Purther:We have so much we're watching right now.

11:08Julia Mervis:Have you seen Unknown Number yet?

11:09Payton Purther:No. I wouldn't like that. No shot. What is it?

11:12Julia Mervis:Wait, why? Why? Just by the name.

11:13Payton Purther:It sounds scary. Too intense.

11:15Julia Mervis:You've never heard of Unknown Number. You've never heard of...

11:17Payton Purther:You liked Paradise. That was scary and intense. Oh, I loved Paradise. What are you watching? Other than Scandal. Just Scandal. I need them like... Oh my God, we saw Shonda at the US Open. Did you drop dead? It wasn't like that close to us, but we kept being like, holy fuck, it's Shonda. I took photos of her. She was with Addison Shepard.

11:36Julia Mervis:Are you guys like enjoying New York? You love it, right? Yeah.

11:39Payton Purther:Miss you.

11:39Julia Mervis:Miss you. We're obsessed. You love it?

11:42Payton Purther:Yeah. It's so much fun. Do you like our apartment?

11:44Julia Mervis:Yeah, it's so cute.

11:44Payton Purther:This is my room. We're in Julie's bed. It's great.

11:47Julia Mervis:You made your room seem so small. It's like the same size as...

11:50Payton Purther:My room's not small. Oh, sorry. It's just not set up yet. Like, I need to do all my art and decorations. It's just, like, looking like a warehouse right now.

11:58Julia Mervis:Yeah, I'm looking around like, didn't you hire an organizer?

12:00Payton Purther:It's just, they're not finished yet.

12:03Julia Mervis:It's been three weeks.

12:05Payton Purther:Because she hasn't been able to come back. I've been so busy.

12:07Julia Mervis:Just let her in.

12:08Payton Purther:No, I need to, like, watch what she's doing.

12:10Julia Mervis:Oh, the go-to girls just go to mine. And I'm like, go get them.

12:14Payton Purther:Because I like to, like, know where my things are. I don't want to, like, be confused. Yeah.

12:17Julia Mervis:Oh.

12:18Payton Purther:I'll like leave her for like a few hours and then like come back. She's supposed to come Thursday, but I probably need to reschedule. But we love it here. We were at the box on Friday until the lights turned on, which is pretty dark.

12:33Julia Mervis:It was 4.30 a.m. And I by accident, you know, I took an Uber to the afters by accident, even though I wasn't going there.

12:40Payton Purther:I did know that.

12:42Julia Mervis:And then somehow I found Cassidy alone in the lobby of my hotel.

12:46Payton Purther:Cassidy's alone in the lobby. Cass said that she was going to yours. But we had so much fun. Did you have fun this weekend?

12:52Julia Mervis:Yeah, but I feel dead. Like, how do you do this every weekend? Every day.

12:56Payton Purther:But this weekend, did it make you feel like, ooh, like, I want to buy an apartment?

13:00Julia Mervis:No.

13:01Payton Purther:Right.

13:02Julia Mervis:Like, I will eventually, you know, like, if all my stars align, then I'll get a place here.

13:11Payton Purther:You can also stay here whenever you want. Like, I'll sleep in here with her.

13:14Julia Mervis:No, I know. Like, that's what I'm saying. And you can -

13:17Payton Purther:He is never gonna stay here. Yeah, like, ever. You're too, like, high class for that nowadays.

13:22Julia Mervis:I'm not too high class. I just, like, if I'm in a different city, like, I would like to stay in a hotel room. Okay, should we close our eyes and all -

13:29Payton Purther:I'm so tired. I'd love to take it out.

13:31Julia Mervis:And all think of a word to say. And should we all three try to get to the same word at the same time? Yes. Because, like, I've never played it with two people before. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Glam. Glam. Glam. Glam. Glam. Conrad, first of all, you were a little secondly. Yeah. Okay, so glam bag Conrad.

13:51Payton Purther:Okay, ready? Three, two, one, stony clover.

13:55Julia Mervis:What?

13:56Payton Purther:Pouch? Yeah.

13:57Julia Mervis:Stony clover?

13:59Payton Purther:Belly.

14:02Julia Mervis:Okay, okay, okay.

14:03Payton Purther:Hey, I don't know that I like have the brain that I already. Okay, wait.

14:09Julia Mervis:Three.

14:11Payton Purther:You guys already know what you're going to say next. Yeah. Oh, you guys are going to get it, huh?

14:15Julia Mervis:just wait I don't know

14:17Payton Purther:okay think about it are you taking her into account her word or are you just thinking about me

14:20Julia Mervis:in a sick in a weird way yes okay so she was pouch I go

14:28Payton Purther:go 3, 2, 1 suitcase what

14:36Payton Purther:how was Ashley I was so bad blue because Bella is taking flights to Paris and you with the really funny stony cobra bag how did you not Fucking suitcase from Pouch and Belly with the fucking fuck ass suitcase.

14:47Julia Mervis:Because I thought Sony Clover and then a name. Who do we know from Sony Clover? No, no. That was a missus.

14:53Payton Purther:Suitcase. I thought mine was so good. Suitcase? JetBlue. Ashley.

14:56Julia Mervis:Okay, ready? Wait, no. Really think about it for a second.

15:00Payton Purther:No.

15:03Julia Mervis:Suitcase?

15:04Payton Purther:Ashley?

15:05Julia Mervis:And what was yours? Suitcase JetBlue, Ashley?

15:08Payton Purther:JetBlue, bitch. What? It checks. when he had that really funny photo shoot with his Stoney Clover bag on a JetBlue floor. Oh, wow, you thought about it. And Belly going to Paris. Okay, I have mine. Do you have yours? I don't.

15:21Julia Mervis:Think about it. You have it.

15:23Payton Purther:But we're talking about Stoney Clover, Ashley?

15:25Julia Mervis:No, but like, just -

15:27Payton Purther:Think about what you just said.

15:29Julia Mervis:Stop, you're ruining the game. Sorry, sorry.

15:31Payton Purther:She like needs some help. I know I'm not gonna get it because I know the word that I'm thinking right now. It's just like, okay. Three, two, one, Hawaii.

15:39Julia Mervis:Did you say Hawaii?

15:40Payton Purther:I said Hawaii.

15:45Julia Mervis:Junday Hawaii away. Why did you say Hawaii?

15:50Payton Purther:What's wrong with you?

15:54Payton Purther:I've been my own world.

15:55Julia Mervis:Okay, should we start one more time? Just like start from the beginning. Actually, I do want to get this. Okay, ready?

15:59Payton Purther:From the beginning?

16:00Julia Mervis:Yeah.

16:01Payton Purther:Okay. Three, two, one, Lola.

16:05Julia Mervis:You are so late. Camera, Lola, what? Wrap. Lola rap camera. Okay. Three, two, one, Len Rich. What were you gonna say? I said burrito. What did you say?

16:22Payton Purther:Burrito. Burrito. Burrito's giving like blanket.

16:26Julia Mervis:Oh, okay.

16:27Payton Purther:That's not bad.

16:30Julia Mervis:What are you two therapists about today?

16:33Payton Purther:Nothing.

16:34Julia Mervis:Oh my god. You're always angry about something so I know that's not true.

16:37Payton Purther:Fuck you.

16:38Julia Mervis:What are you angry about?

16:42Payton Purther:I am snorting this episode. I keep moving. Every morning her alarm goes off.

16:55Payton Purther:Am I just chronically congested? Yeah, we already addressed that. But it's like, am I? Do I have allergies maybe? I'm pissed about my lack of sleep. Okay. We need to like further debrief our weekend. I feel like we did so much. I got nothing to say.

17:09Julia Mervis:She literally literally wasn't there. What?

17:12Payton Purther:Why are you saying that? That's rude.

17:13Julia Mervis:You weren't there.

17:14Payton Purther:I was not there for one night. Like, and all of a sudden I don't exist.

17:17Julia Mervis:Well, I don't know why you didn't come out Saturday.

17:20Payton Purther:I literally had plans. You couldn't.

17:21Julia Mervis:Saturday was the best night ever. Saturday was better than Friday.

17:24Payton Purther:Okay. Saturday? I know you do things just to make me upset.

17:27Julia Mervis:Well, no. I personally, for personal reasons, had a better Saturday. so so i guess you're wondering what has it been like in new york it is so fucking fun sorry maybe you didn't want to hear that tell them how fun it's been it's been so much fun we literally have

17:45Payton Purther:not had a singular moment of without a plan we're just bop bop bopping around i saw a meme the other day and it was like me and my besties friendship bracelets and it was handcuffs i was like yeah That is how I would describe our first three weeks in New York. Yeah. Handcuffs. We've just been.

18:02Julia Mervis:Do you feel like you're in Sex and the City or Girls?

18:06Payton Purther:Neither, honestly. I don't feel like I'm in either. Girls is a little too tears for our experience thus far. Sex and the City, we are being like way more of degenerates. So we're not, you don't even watch. But yeah, I haven't seen either. We've been having a lot of fun.

18:23Julia Mervis:I tried to watch an episode. Did you like it?

18:25Payton Purther:We started Sex and the City and I loved it.

18:27Julia Mervis:Did you really? Yeah. I can't get behind it.

18:30Payton Purther:Like, do you want to know something about you? You hate fun.

18:33Julia Mervis:No, I don't. Yeah, you do. I like so many good television shows. No, you don't.

18:37Payton Purther:What is your favorite show of all time? Dark. Yeah, and it's like literally a show from hell.

18:42Julia Mervis:It's a show. It's a German show about a German boy that goes missing in a small German town.

18:47Payton Purther:What do you think we want to watch? The Summer I Turned Pretty, Sex and the City, or Dark?

18:52Julia Mervis:Okay, what's your favorite sync from The Summer I Turned Pretty? Your favorite needle drop? I really, really, How Did It End was pretty insane.

19:00Payton Purther:How Did It End? We had tears. I literally looked over and I had tears. Sorry, Jenny. That episode was bad.

19:05Julia Mervis:And when How Did It End came on, I was like, I feel like mine is probably You're Losing Me.

19:11Payton Purther:Because obviously it was like our favorite song ever. Also when they did False God, it was pretty crazy. And it was just fucking crazy. False God was during the scene where like Belly got like the hots for him again. And False God was also in season one. In season one. They like redid it for like when they first fell in love in season one. I also thought Robin was really cute.

19:28Julia Mervis:They did Robin?

19:28Payton Purther:Oh, with the glass unicorn? Yeah, that was good.

19:32Julia Mervis:What did they do with Robin?

19:32Payton Purther:And he got me my unicorn and he got me my mom. That episode, I think, that episode I think was my favorite. It was the best. Yeah, it was the best one. It was so good. Don't marry him. That's what we were like longing for the whole season. Don't marry him.

19:46Julia Mervis:So you're watching Walter Brothers, Summer of Tempty.

19:48Payton Purther:We're watching Sex and the City. We're watching. Well, we were talking about New York too.

19:53Julia Mervis:Oh, yeah. What's been your favorite extracurricular you've done here?

19:57Payton Purther:Oh. Well, this was just like an example, but we went on like our first week here. We went to dinner on a Tuesday and we literally got like two spritzes and we ended up at a bar until like three in the morning and it was just so much fun. On a Tuesday. And it's like we had two spritzes, sat outside. It was so nice out. Like it was just such a good vibe. Oh, and I've been getting so many steps. I've been getting like 17 ,000 steps every day. Oh, okay. So something about me is I hate walking. And I was like, okay, like New York is going to be bad for me because I literally hate walking. And for some reason I find it so boring and like unenjoyable.

20:36Payton Purther:But I've been loving it here.

20:38Julia Mervis:Do you listen to music as you walk?

20:40Payton Purther:Not even, not even. Like sometimes if I'm alone. But I like to walk like with purpose, like with a destination.

20:46Julia Mervis:Oh, yeah. I hate walking without a destination.

20:49Payton Purther:I feel like a lot of people love to like aimlessly walk. It's like that's my worst nightmare. That's my worst nightmare.

20:52Julia Mervis:I can't do that.

20:53Payton Purther:So I've been loving getting steps in New York, which I like because it's like if you can't work out that day, like you don't feel like you did nothing. It's like. I mean, speaking of having worked out, I haven't done a lot of that either.

21:05Julia Mervis:I tried to work out today and I like felt dead. I think it's because of all the drinking.

21:09Payton Purther:I'm so tired.

21:11Julia Mervis:I'm so tired. It must be the drinking. I'm like exhausted. I've done it every day for the past five days. Same. I am exhausted. Like my eyes are closed in.

21:18Payton Purther:I literally feel like we haven't slept since we moved. We haven't. I've like got nothing, there's nothing in my head.

21:25Julia Mervis:So how are you guys planning on decorating the main room?

21:27Payton Purther:Okay, actually thank you for bringing it up. Of course. So the TV actually takes up the entire wall. I accidentally, like we measured it and I think it's just like bigger than it.

21:39Julia Mervis:That's fine, it's a big TV. You watch a lot of TV.

21:41Payton Purther:Yeah. So we're getting this really cool couch. It's like, we don't have a lot of space to work with at all. But we're getting like really cool like corduroy. Are we getting that? Couch. I mean, that's the plan. Yeah. We can't get anything right now, baby. No, it's messy in there.

21:59Julia Mervis:I mean, it's a fulfillment center. But the plan, the couch is sick.

22:03Payton Purther:You'll love it.

22:04Julia Mervis:I'm excited.

22:05Payton Purther:And it like kind of unfolds. So like if you want to turn it into a sectional, you can unfold it. It's really cool. It comes in tons of really cool colors. A small coffee table and like some really fun rug. and then we're gonna make a coffee table like out of, we're gonna like DIY coffee table out of magazine stacks. Next to the couch. It's really cool. Stacked up magazines and we're gonna put glass over it. I don't like how you genuinely couldn't be happy for us if you tried. No, I am. Why do you hate that?

22:32Julia Mervis:I'm happy. I'm just like, what, how is that? Are you gonna glue them together?

22:36Payton Purther:No, no, no. What about that do you not like?

22:38Julia Mervis:Are you gonna glue the magazines together?

22:40Payton Purther:No, it's like. Stack it up.

22:43Julia Mervis:And what if it falls? Can you grab me my water? Mama is thirsty. Should we close our eyes for two minutes? Yeah. Okay.

22:50Payton Purther:Please. Like kind of like this. See?

22:53Julia Mervis:Oh, those are bugs, Julia.

22:55Payton Purther:No, no, but like with my room. It's like this.

22:56Julia Mervis:Okay, ready?

22:57Payton Purther:I'll set a one minute timer.

22:59Julia Mervis:Okay. One minute, 30 seconds. And everybody think of stuff to talk about as we close our eyes.

23:03Payton Purther:I'm going to have nothing. My head is empty. Sorry, I haven't been holding my microphone.

23:10Julia Mervis:Are you thinking?

23:12Payton Purther:Yeah, I'm trying.

23:13Julia Mervis:Oh, I want to sleep.

23:15Payton Purther:I have a funny story.

23:17Julia Mervis:Oh, great. This was well worth it then. What's the funny story about?

23:21Payton Purther:This date I went on.

23:22Julia Mervis:When?

23:23Payton Purther:A few weeks ago. Oh, ow.

23:25Julia Mervis:What was so funny about it?

23:26Payton Purther:I almost productile vomited because we were on a boat.

23:30Julia Mervis:How did you get on the boat?

23:31Payton Purther:So, like, he texted me that we'll go on a date in Tribeca. And he was like, okay, I picked this spot, Grand Banks. Oh, no one's a good one.

23:43Julia Mervis:Wait, my eyes are closed.

23:44Payton Purther:So should I wait? No, keep going. It's like a lullaby.

23:48Julia Mervis:Yeah, honestly.

23:49Payton Purther:And it's about boys. Which is even better. And he was like, okay, so we'll go to this place, Graham. Bang. I hate that sound.

23:58Julia Mervis:That's your alarm, Peyton?

24:00Payton Purther:What? Isn't that everyone's alarm? No. What sound do you guys use?

24:04Julia Mervis:That's your alarm. Mine is like the normal.

24:06Payton Purther:Yeah, that's mine. Keep telling the story.

24:08Julia Mervis:So you went on a boat and you almost projected the alarm.

24:11Payton Purther:So I had dinner, a dinner before this date. Like I said, we have not had a minute to do anything. So I've been like triple booking sometimes. Like we had a dinner, we went to the corner store and I was like, I'm not fucking canceling this dinner. I really want to try the corner store. It was just amazing.

24:26Julia Mervis:What'd you guys get there? Louise and I went there.

24:27Payton Purther:Pizza rolls, a French dip, Samoa Sunday.

24:31Julia Mervis:Samoa Sunday. Julia left before the ice cream.

24:34Payton Purther:Everything bagel. Caesar salad. Caesar salad. Keep talking about the man. Okay, so basically, I had this dinner at the corner store. I had like two or three tomato martinis. Ew. So, I hate you.

24:48Julia Mervis:Ew. I hate you. It was good.

24:50Payton Purther:I don't like hanging out with you. I don't like telling you things. I don't like doing anything with you because you are just so fucking negative.

24:58Julia Mervis:Wait, I'm just confused. A tomato martini? It was good. Were you at this restaurant or not? Yes. What, did they put a sliced tomato at the room?

25:05Payton Purther:Their whole thing is special martinis. Mine was sour cream and onion. You guys ate him as much as I do. Ew. It came with sour cream and onion chips. Obviously, not enough chips. There were only like two. What did you get? A Riesling?

25:17Julia Mervis:Yeah, I think I probably tried.

25:19Payton Purther:Yeah, and you probably fell the fuck to sleep at the table. You fucking loser. Like, I don't want your Riesling.

25:24Julia Mervis:I, but you know my favorite martini in the city is at Sarantino's. Sarantino's.

25:30Payton Purther:And like.

25:32Julia Mervis:And they have a truffle martini with caviar.

25:34Payton Purther:Yeah, and you're going to go all crazy about my tomato martini. Meanwhile, you have fish eggs in yours.

25:40Julia Mervis:Yeah, that sounds good.

25:41Payton Purther:That's my worst nightmare. Continue on the boat. I had like three tomato martinis. I had pizza rolls with like ranch. I want two of a day in ranch. This is zero, zero. You know how Benny Blanco gave Selena Gomez a bathtub of queso? I want a bathtub of ranch. So if my husband is listening or wants to come back on this at some point, I want a bathtub of ranch.

26:04Julia Mervis:continue that would like fuck your ph so bad one thousand percent

26:13Payton Purther:like there is ranch in every fucking crevice right just up your ass and like i'm not mad what is ranch made out of i don't know god we need to talk about something else okay julia's telling the story oh i totally forgot you don't let me speak okay go keep going So I had this face.

26:36Julia Mervis:Okay, go. Tell the story. You got a tomato martini.

26:40Payton Purther:It was just like a heavy meal. And so.

26:44Julia Mervis:And it got heavier after you left.

26:47Payton Purther:And so I like definitely felt like a little like. Like.

26:54Payton Purther:I'm like a little sleepy.

26:56Julia Mervis:Were you farting?

26:57Payton Purther:No, I wasn't farting. But like. I definitely was burping. And like, I was just like, it was a big meal. Like, I definitely like was not holding back. Like, I, you know, like sometimes when you go to like a meal with like a group or like an uneven amount of people and there's like four pizza rolls. So it's like, no one needs the last. Like I ate the last.

27:16Julia Mervis:Yes.

27:16Payton Purther:Like I was going for it.

27:18Julia Mervis:Yeah.

27:18Payton Purther:I like didn't do too much research into this place before we got, before I went on this date. And so I'm like, pizza rolls, martinis, et cetera, et cetera. Like, I'm just not feeling great. I get in the car and I'm already like a little bit like, I could totally lie down. And I get to the date and I knew it was on a boat, but I didn't like fully like visualize that it was on a boat on the Hudson. So it smelled bad and it smelled like fish.

27:50Julia Mervis:I don't mind that.

27:53Payton Purther:Yeah, I do. And it was windy. Like it was like.

27:59Julia Mervis:My dream. A particular. My dream date. Cute.

28:01Payton Purther:A particularly a fishy windy boat.

28:04Julia Mervis:Amazing. Being nauseous. Well, I don't get nauseous on boats but this isn't about me. Continue.

28:10Payton Purther:Okay, so we're sitting there and like I just like sometimes feel like on dates like I'm the one that's like leading the conversations usually just because like I feel like I could probably talk more than the average. Like I'm bringing things up. Yeah, this story's long. Okay, I'll continue. I'll shut up. I do want to hear. No, we have nothing else to talk about.

28:31Julia Mervis:I was about to say when I woke up with someone in my room this morning, they said to me, you keep frozen poultry in this room. It's so cold.

28:44You need to do a lap.

28:45Payton Purther:Yeah. That's nice. Frozen poultry. And I would have hated if someone said that to me.

28:51Julia Mervis:Yeah. It really fucked me up, honestly.

28:57Payton Purther:Yeah. Okay. So you're sitting on this boat. Also, despite all these horrible things we're saying about the location, it honestly sounds fun and I kind of want to go back. Maybe on a Saturday during the day. Sounds so fun to me.

29:07Julia Mervis:Continue. So you're nauseous on the boat.

29:09Payton Purther:And it's just like rocking, rocking, rocking. And I literally, I think I probably was green in the face. I think he was probably looking at me like, oh, fuck. Okay, so then you guys left and you went to a bar. And we went to three other bars after that. We had a really long day. I was trying to leave and meet my friends and he was kind of just like, no, I don't think you should do that. Oh. No, we had a good time. I enjoyed it. But like, yeah, I was like pretty much nauseous for the rest of the date. Yeah, I haven't followed up for the second one that he asked me on.

29:38Julia Mervis:Why the best first date of my life Saturday?

29:40Payton Purther:I don't know. I loved him. I was there for part of it.

29:43Julia Mervis:I'm sorry. You met him last night though. But I went on a first date Saturday and we got drinks. And then we met up with Peyton and Cassidy at this restaurant called Lucian.

29:53Payton Purther:It was the best vibes ever.

29:55Julia Mervis:It was the best vibes ever. I had 10 Cosmos.

29:57Payton Purther:And it was, and Jake, in this day, I've never seen Jake with a guy who they seem like so into each other. Like, sorry, I know I'm erased from your fucking memory, but I did meet him last night. I said you met him last night. In a tasteful way. Like, they were holding onto each other. It was just like very sweet and wholesome.

30:13Julia Mervis:Yeah.

30:14Payton Purther:We also, this weekend, when we were in the Hamptons, Julia, mama, got us a table at Surf Lodge. And it was so much fun. but we had to get like a million things of alcohol because there was like a table minimum. We have to hit this minimum. We're looking at the menu at Surf Lodge. Obviously our first thought is let's get 14 towers of chicken tenders. But we're like, we obviously also need to get all these bottles. We get a big bottle of Grey Goose and the night is coming to an end. It's dwindling down. The big bottle of Grey Goose is still like half full.

30:50Julia Mervis:Over my dead body,

30:51Payton Purther:were we leaving a half full bottle of Grey Goose at the club just to be taken. So I put it in my pants and I leave. And I was carrying around this Grey Goose bottle the entire night. I have a picture for you to insert. The entire night. We go to the next location. Every single bar we went to after that, I would just order a chaser and I would take the bottle out of my skirt and just take my own shot.

31:20Julia Mervis:Wait, are you serious?

31:21Payton Purther:Dead serious.

31:22Julia Mervis:And no one caught you?

31:24Payton Purther:No. And then we're leaving the club or wherever, like, the bar we were at, and it dropped on the ground and it was really funny.

31:31Julia Mervis:Did it get shattered? What ice cream is that?

31:33Payton Purther:Oh, how good does that look?

31:35Julia Mervis:Ooh.

31:36Payton Purther:This froyo place in Long Island. Okay. Right here.

31:40Julia Mervis:Does it make you guys sad that we don't know anybody at USC anymore?

31:44Payton Purther:Yeah. It does.

31:47Julia Mervis:Like, we don't know. A single person in a single grade. I don't know anyone.

31:50Payton Purther:It's really crazy because now we're like full post-rat adults. I saw a TikTok the other day that was like a girl, like these girls drinking in the morning for a football game at college. What college? Do you remember? No, I was like half asleep. But I was just like, fuck.

32:09Julia Mervis:Those were the best days ever. We'd wake up and just game day.

32:11Payton Purther:And a tailgate was like all bets are fucking off. You could act however you wanted. you could get however wasted you wanted like you could do whatever you wanted and then you just pass out yeah and you'd wake up and it'd be like damn have we ever talked about orange and

32:26Julia Mervis:teal you guys on the podcast yeah we talked about orange and teal have we we like there was this

32:31Payton Purther:like snapchat filter when we were freshmen in college called orange and teal god knows what

32:35Julia Mervis:we were doing game day was just what was your favorite oh i feel like we only had game days really so i feel like only freshman sophomore and senior right because junior was covid

32:44Payton Purther:Yeah, they were so good, guys. What were we saying about college before Orange and Teal?

32:48Julia Mervis:That game days were the best day ever. And then when you would try to go out at night, and, like, you'd kind of fail, but you would just, like, be at the party in, like, sweats and a game day teacher. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so tired. But, like, I have to go out.

32:58Payton Purther:You'd be, like, at an office? Why do you think the nine don't ever hit for us?

33:01Julia Mervis:It's because we can't wait in the line to save our lives.

33:03Payton Purther:No, but I also think it's because, like, we were the only grade that truly had banditos. Yeah.

33:09Julia Mervis:Also, we had second semester rush.

33:11Payton Purther:Right.

33:12Julia Mervis:So we never had to, like, if everyone had first semester rush right before, everyone was going to mixers and stuff all the time. We only have banditos. We only have banditos. And respectfully, banditos was genuinely life-changing for me. It was a playground.

33:29Payton Purther:It was the best place ever. And I feel like we already had that moment of being like obsessed and addicted to the bar. And like knowing the bartender and knowing like who ran in, and everything and like running the place to the ground. I feel like we had that moment already. so then the 90 it was just like okay do you remember

33:44Julia Mervis:when somebody fucked in the back room of banditos what posted it on her instagram and said who is this what you don't remember that no

33:52Payton Purther:did that actually happen

33:54Julia Mervis:or she was sucking his dick or something yes and she posted like if you fuck at banditos like you'll get caught

34:00Payton Purther:but like I also low key feel like was down for you to fuck at banditos like was actually

34:05Julia Mervis:okay you want to know something about banditos what the food there was amazing

34:10Payton Purther:amazing yeah Also, the TikToks now of everyone in New North is just outrageous. That's my 13th reason.

34:17Julia Mervis:Great, Jess. That's my 13th reason. I miss New North. Do you remember when Evan used to brush her teeth every night and she would gag on her toothbrush every night?

34:25Payton Purther:Yeah.

34:26Julia Mervis:Peyton had the best roommate in the world, Evan.

34:29Payton Purther:And our room was just like so disgusting. And we would just do whatever we wanted. And one time we all got mad at Jake after this party. And we ordered pizza. Yeah, we kind of rode. And Jake like wanted to come like redeem himself after he had pissed off every single person we were just making friends with. And we were so mad. We ordered a pizza. And Jake is banging on the door being like, please let me in. We're like, fine. We open the door. Jake steps into the room. He puts his fucking dirty Air Force right into the fresh pizza. And then steps on the carpet.

35:08Julia Mervis:And it was there the entire year. Do you remember Peyton's fridge?

35:11Payton Purther:An Air Force print of marinara sauce in my perfect carpet.

35:15Julia Mervis:Wait, do you remember your fridge?

35:17Payton Purther:No, what was in there? Peyton, your carpet was never fucking perfect. You have the worst carpet taste of all time. I didn't even pick that out. What about the candy carpet? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yep. Peyton's like, we need Peyton to room sophomore year, and she's like, perfect. I got us the best carpet in all Target. From the nursery section. It looked like a funfetti bath mat. And it was also the size of a bath mat. That's what I'm saying. Funfetti bath mat. It was tiny. My mom and I walked in and we were like, um. So then Julie and I ordered a neon pink carpet.

35:46Julia Mervis:Do you remember what would you call her again? Clicker? Because she would go on the Roku.

35:50Payton Purther:Because I'm just like not good with technology.

35:53Julia Mervis:You've gotten a lot better.

35:55Payton Purther:Yeah. I just like don't know how to work like anything. And so I'm like really bad with a remote control. Like it takes me seven years to like type a letter in. And Peyton's just like. You were so quick with it. It's crazy. you guys want to know what we're going to have to wait and watch together what do you guys want to

36:12Julia Mervis:guess okay can you give if will they give it away i have literally no idea wait no there's a new

36:18Payton Purther:movie coming out and it's like a game yes yeah oh obviously oh we'll have to wait to watch also

36:23Julia Mervis:i'm about to finish scandal i think we should watch how to get away with murder we tried no you did not try if you tried you would have been into it it's really good yeah it's amazing i tried

36:32Payton Purther:and watched like at least five episodes, but I'm down to retry.

36:35Julia Mervis:Dude, it's like a less like that show.

36:37Payton Purther:I've seen it, but like, I don't really remember.

36:39Julia Mervis:Apparently it only gets better, like way better than season one. Like season one's good, but the rest of the show is like -

36:44Payton Purther:I feel like most shows are like that. Like season one usually is not good.

36:47Julia Mervis:Okay, oh my God, I need to talk about this, the one thing in Scandal. I think if Steven would have stayed in the show, like him and Olivia, like he, I read a comment on TikTok that was like he is the only one that understood Olivia. Yeah, true, true. He like understood her. on like a different level. It's true. I'm gonna be sick.

37:04Payton Purther:I know. You know,

37:05Julia Mervis:and he didn't leave on Bad Blood either.

37:07Payton Purther:No.

37:07Julia Mervis:He left because they didn't think the show was gonna get renewed for season two. Oh. And he was like, well, I need to pursue other opportunities if the show's not getting renewed. Have you guys seen Teen Wolf?

37:17Payton Purther:We tried. We all tried to watch it. Dylan O 'Brien.

37:20Julia Mervis:Yeah, it was great. I re-watched the first episode the other day.

37:22Payton Purther:are you guys normal or do you also play that while watching, walking through the street? Yeah. Everywhere I go, Smash. Julie and I were saying this the other day. And we started doing If we can't see their face, we say S from the B, smash from the back. Yeah, S from the B. Every single person I see, like the first thing I think is smash your pass.

37:41Julia Mervis:Should we sit on the West Side Highway tomorrow? Well, not on the highway, but like -

37:44Payton Purther:And play smash your pass.

37:45Julia Mervis:In the park and play smash your pass. Yeah, I want to.

37:47Payton Purther:And I want to, yeah. Is everyone as tired as me? Yeah, exhausted. Okay.

37:52Julia Mervis:Okay, do you want to get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs?

37:54Payton Purther:Of course I do. I want to.

37:56Julia Mervis:These Tell Me What's Wrongs are sponsored by Bumble. Can you please talk about the transition into a new relationship after a breakup. Well, there's only one person here to answer that properly, and that is Julia.

38:06Payton Purther:No, listen, like, I don't know. I think that everyone has a different experience. Personally, for me, like, everyone that I've been dating since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I'm super grateful for these experiences because I wanted them. I'm worried. Yeah. But yeah, I think that it might, like, personally for me, I feel like it's just gonna, like, take a minute to like like someone again but like that's why you were wanting to have a single moment because it's like you were wanting to have fun and like just be single and like not be calling to anyone and like but I know that I'm the problem see like that's why I'm not can I be honest though I don't think you are in this first case because I think remember the one person you were going on

38:50Julia Mervis:dates with now yeah and the reason you didn't go on a first date with him two years ago is because or three years ago is because like something like fateful got in the way like you literally fell down a flight of stairs. That was like a God telling you like, do not see this man. I'm going to push you down a flight of stairs. God pushed you. He was like, I do not want you to see this man.

39:08Payton Purther:I just think that like after a breakup, you should really focus on yourself. It's like fun. And it's like, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You're wearing the pants. You have the power. And it's like, if you want to like end anything, you can. Okay.

39:24Julia Mervis:How do you find confidence in yourself to go on bumble dates? I get so scared to me. Well, I feel like I've been going on a lot of Bumble dates recently, so I'll take this one if that's fine with you guys.

39:32Payton Purther:Yeah, please take it.

39:34Julia Mervis:I went on, look, some dates are going to be horrible and some dates are going to be amazing.

39:38Payton Purther:Going on a date, the outcome is one of very few things. A, a funny story. B, a good experience. C, you met someone that you're going to have a relationship with. Yeah. I will say Julia usually has the best advice about going on a first date. Because I personally get so, so nervous. Like, even if it's a guy that I know most likely I, like, don't have a lot in common with. Or, like, I know that I, like, probably won't vibe with. Or it's someone that I, like, wasn't super interested from the dump. Like, we're going to have a laugh about it later.

40:07Julia Mervis:Like, one time this guy hotboxed his car with a vape.

40:11Payton Purther:Yeah. Yeah. It was super dark. And he opened his Dropbox and started playing me new music. And I said, hey, please take me home. That was not okay. Julia always encourages me and is like, it's not that serious. it's so much fun like just go so i feel like you need to have someone in your corner who's just like hyping you up and that's what you guys are reassuring you that it's like not that serious because like it isn't like the stakes are low like go on the date and like if it sucks go home like

40:40Julia Mervis:always have a scapegoat and always scapegoat is always cassidy always yeah it is and always make

40:45Payton Purther:sure if it's a new person that you like aren't having a lot of mutuals with like make sure your

40:49Julia Mervis:friends have your location well on bumble you can use the share my date feature and if you're anxious like and if you're scared to go on the date you can share like the time location everything and you can send it to like your friends and family on Bumble and share your date

41:01Payton Purther:cool I feel like that's really important and it honestly gives you like that security that you know like your friends know where you are like it's it's all good it's all good well

41:11Julia Mervis:we prescribe denim on denim because thank you because even some of the worst dates make the best stories yeah a friend of mine is constantly talking about how she never gets any attention from men me Like, well, she always saying how she'll die alone or how she'll never get married. But she's gone on dates and is currently in some type of situationship and has many capitalized. Oh, oh, guys, fawn over her. Not me. It usually doesn't make me upset. But as of recently, I found it makes me feel bad because I've never experienced any of that. And it's like she's tone deaf to how I feel. Almost as if she's blind to all the attention she gets.

41:50Julia Mervis:Moral of the story is IDK what to do anymore. Am I a bad friend for thinking she's being oblivious to my feelings or for even feeling any type of way about this? Wow, what an actual deep question. Wow, I love that question. It should make you feel better that like even the people. Yeah. Like it should make you feel better that like attention from romantic partners does not validate any type of insecurity you harbor inside.

42:14Thanks.

42:14Payton Purther:A simple mic drop for that.

42:16Julia Mervis:Thank you. I know. Well, because it's true. Because like I have gay friends that literally get fawned over by like a million and one guys. That doesn't change how they feel about themselves. It's so true. You know what I mean? Like that doesn't change a thing. And I don't know. And like, like not to, I don't know. Like I, it's, I honestly am going to take the thing of like, maybe you just like let her be pick me. Cause obviously she has some deeper demons going on. And like that's, it's obviously like not the men. that she's like primarily insecure about. She's probably just using it as a scapegoat for like other situations.

42:51Julia Mervis:Yeah. And like you respectfully can't project your insecurities onto her. I don't think that's fair.

42:57Payton Purther:Yeah. Whoa. You just ate that up.

42:59Julia Mervis:I went on a date with the guy like four years ago and he was super hot. He was a little eager. I was talking about wanting to go on a road trip together later that summer. Yeah. Et cetera. Oh fuck. Sounds like me. But besides the date. But besides that. Oh wait. It is you. But besides that the date was fun and I had a good time. He was a great kisser. However afterwards he pretty much ghosted me. Oh, not me. So he love-bombed you. He was moving cities a few weeks later, but it was still pretty abrupt. Anyway, fast forward to today, and I just saw him on Bumble. Should I message him or leave it in the past?

43:25Julia Mervis:I'm so tempted. I would not message him.

43:28Payton Purther:I feel like he's giving love-bombing bad vibes, and it's like you're probably better off without. Yeah, I know my ass would message him. For sure.

43:37Julia Mervis:But it's interesting. You would message him?

43:39Payton Purther:Of course I would. I also probably wouldn't take my own advice. I'm telling you. I would message him. The universe is doing a greater thing for you. Yeah. Yeah. And shut up with that. And I'm messaging. Surely.

43:52Julia Mervis:Hi, Jake and whatever amazing guest. Yeah. Out of pro guests.

43:57Payton Purther:Amazing we are. When you miss. Like, when you don't land your jokes.

44:02Julia Mervis:I don't want to talk about it. It's horrible. I need to restart this. It just got awful. Hi, Jake and amazing guest. Hi, Jake and whatever amazing guest is accompanying you today. Long time pussy. First time puss sharing what's wrong. Recent college grad and recently back in the dating scene after a long hiatus. I met this guy so great and so kind and respectful.

44:21Payton Purther:What's the hiatus?

44:22Julia Mervis:Which gave me the ick at first, but I'm learning to like what's good for me. And I think I actually like this man now. He's only living where I am until the end of the month. And then he travels for work for like five months. Oh, an expiration date. I don't know if it makes sense to lock it down since we've been only going on dates for a month. What should I do?

44:39Payton Purther:These are all targeted at me.

44:40Julia Mervis:Julia. Honestly, yeah. Julia had an expiration date with her first boyfriend. But it made a lot more less sense than this because he's moving states and she was moving to West Hollywood.

44:54Payton Purther:My biggest question is, was the dating hiatus like on your own accord? I'll tell you. Life is too short to not do things.

45:05Julia Mervis:Because they scare you?

45:07Payton Purther:Yes. like I just have this like whole philosophy with dating that like it doesn't need to be like so planned out and like so like every little thing needs to like fall into line like the way you want it to like I just think that we're so young and I don't know how old you are but like I just

45:26Julia Mervis:think that there's no reason she's 22 or 23 because she's a recent college grad oh right

45:31Payton Purther:context thank you for that yeah I appreciate it but like I was saying this to um our friend's little sister the other day who's like kind of having like some troubles with this like boy and i was like i just like you're too young like yeah this probably isn't your man but like life is about experiences life is about learning things you learn a lot by the people you date you learn a lot about yourself by the people you date so like so what if he isn't the world's most stand-up amazing guy so what if he's moving like let yourself experience things no matter if the outcome might be painful like you don't need to protect yourself from everything like sometimes you just need to dive into the deep.

46:04Payton Purther:Enjoy the journey.

46:05Julia Mervis:Also, then you can relate to sad music, which is what I've always wanted to relate to. The only song I'm relating now to is I Think He Knows and Delicate.

46:11Payton Purther:Yeah, Delicate. It's so good.

46:12Julia Mervis:How good is it? It's so good.

46:15Payton Purther:Delicate is the greatest song of all time. Honest to God. No one has ever encapsulated the feeling of that ever besides her. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're meant?

46:24Julia Mervis:Oh my God. Is it cool that I said that?

46:27Payton Purther:Are you thinking of me?

46:28Julia Mervis:But is it cool that I'm thinking of you? Like everything you say, like I've never heard someone be like everything. I'm sick. Everything you say. You're like.

46:35Payton Purther:Fuck, I wish I felt that way about someone saying I want a crush so bad.

46:37Julia Mervis:And when you're on a date and you're with like you guys are on a friend and you hold hands under the table, it feels like you're the only people in the room. It's like I seriously.

46:46Payton Purther:Yeah, I don't feel that way about anyone these days. I need a crush. Honestly, having a crush is the best feeling in the entire world. Crushes are good for the soul.

46:53Julia Mervis:It's the best feeling in the entire world. And when their name pops up on your phone, you're like, oh my God, I don't need to jump.

46:57Payton Purther:If you don't have a crush, like, without a crush, I have no purpose. Ugh, I wish I had a crush on someone.

47:03Julia Mervis:I think we should phone one of our guy friends for some guy advice.

47:06Payton Purther:What guy friends?

47:07Julia Mervis:Matt. Peyton.

47:11Payton Purther:Hi, it's Peyton.

47:12Julia Mervis:Hey, Peyton, it's Matt.

47:14Payton Purther:Hey, Matt.

47:15Julia Mervis:Where's Shia? He's not here. He's sleeping.

47:18Payton Purther:Hi, Matt. It's Julia.

47:20Julia Mervis:Hey, Julia. Hey.

47:23Payton Purther:Who is this?

47:24Julia Mervis:How's New York life treating you guys? well we love it but that's not why we called we are actually filming therapists and we keep it and we need some guy advice okay what's wrong being single in a group of friends who are often and who are all in relationships often means they're less likely to want to go to the bar what do i do oh fuck this one's for p what do you what would you do matt read that to me one more time because that's how hard this is for me yeah being single in a group of friends who are in

47:52Payton Purther:relationships often means they're less likely to want to go to the bar what do i do i don't know why we called matt because this is my own personal hell well you know i you know this is my worst

48:01Julia Mervis:fucking nightmare i would say i would prescribe calling matt because matt would answer matt because matt would go to the bar why not just like invite everybody out all at once you know everybody can hang out together you can still go to the bar you want all the boyfriends at the bar I don't I mean I guess why not

48:23Payton Purther:it gets my friend out of the house

48:25Julia Mervis:you know Matt what are you doing today are you having a gorgeous day yeah I'm having

48:29Payton Purther:a really nice day actually okay

48:31Julia Mervis:no no don't hang up alright bye guys why

48:35Payton Purther:love you love you love you bye this is my worst nightmare and I think if your friends aren't going to the bar with you are they really your friends I'm kidding but like I would I hope if you guys were both in relationships, you would still want to come out with me.

48:50Julia Mervis:Of course. I would want to PDA with my boyfriend all over the bar.

48:55Payton Purther:Yes, bring your mate to the bar.

48:57Julia Mervis:I am PDA.

48:58Payton Purther:I hate PDA. You are PDA.

49:00Julia Mervis:Ew, why?

49:01Payton Purther:Is it an attention thing?

49:02Julia Mervis:I think it must be an attention thing. Yeah.

49:05Payton Purther:I hate PDA.

49:07Julia Mervis:Why didn't you guys tell me that?

49:08Payton Purther:But maybe if it's with the right person, I would like PDA.

49:14Julia Mervis:Are you guys ready? We're actually going to sing, okay? She got, she got, she got away

49:22Payton Purther:You sounded like Spongebob

49:24Julia Mervis:Okay She, she got, she got away Fuck

49:30Payton Purther:You can do way better than that

49:32Julia Mervis:I know She, she, she got, she got away

49:37Payton Purther:Okay, octave change

49:39Julia Mervis:It was good, right? Okay, Julia, your turn

49:41Payton Purther:No, I can't Are you serious? I'm not going to be able to do it.

49:46Julia Mervis:Where are the other TMWWs?

49:48Payton Purther:This ain't for the best. My reputation's never been worse. Stop.

49:58Payton Purther:You're losing me. Stop. You gave me the damn card. Stop. It's BT's mom. BT has Bumble going on. She's all I want. And I've been there for so long. Stacy can't you see You're just not bumbling for me

50:18Julia Mervis:Oh Nolan Sometimes you just know which ones to pick I just moved in with my best friend Everyone's Everything's going great except she still hasn't Unpacked and it's been three weeks Normally I would Did you make this up? No Normally I wouldn't care but she's putting half her stuff In our living room How do I bring this up without making it a fight?

50:41Payton Purther:Who's on to us? we haven't unpacked yet we've been here for over a month so okay so julia and i literally have boxes in suitcases and plush throws all over the fucking living room i don't know what you should do to your friend because we're the friend we are the friends but it's like we're both in the same we're both in the same we do need to really accomplish it soon though i think that on Sunday, let's like, maybe like for three hours in the morning, like. But we need to finish. I know. It's just be like, we make it done. Like we need to get rid of it. I know. And we need to order a couch. Yeah.

51:18Payton Purther:We don't even have like living room furniture ordered.

51:22Julia Mervis:You got that nice table though.

51:23Payton Purther:Yeah, but it's like from, from my OG apartment.

51:28Julia Mervis:Oh. I found an extra key that my boyfriend, soon to be fiance, said without any shame or conviction was to his second apartment. Like he said it was, like he said it like.

51:36Payton Purther:I mean, that's just.

51:38Julia Mervis:Like he said it like it was normal. He got it during our relationship and uses it to quote, get space. He says he didn't lie because he just never told me. Oh, what the fuck? And he was going to eventually, but he doesn't think it's a big deal. Like I want to marry this man, but this is insane in my grave. Run for the hills.

51:52Payton Purther:I mean, use common fucking sense. That honestly like pisses me off. Pisses me off. Piss me off. Like seriously, it's like I know that you know better than that. Come on. I hate the word fiance.

52:06Julia Mervis:Why? Because why? It's because all of our friends just got engaged?

52:09Payton Purther:No, I just don't like the word fiancé. Me and my fiancé.

52:14Julia Mervis:My future mother.

52:15Payton Purther:Shut up, Beyoncé. I'd rather, yeah, never mind.

52:19Julia Mervis:My future, do you know what Bay stands for?

52:22Payton Purther:No.

52:23Julia Mervis:Before everything else, before anything else.

52:25Payton Purther:I love that. Before anyone else. I feel like I haven't had a boyfriend in so long, but why am I like so the vibe that I'd say Bay in like a real way? Yeah, you would. No, I'm just going to bring my Bay. No, you guys like, can bae come? Can bae come?

52:38Julia Mervis:That's my bae.

52:38Payton Purther:I know we have plans tonight, but like any shot bae can come. I have plans with bae tonight. Like any shot you can come.

52:44Julia Mervis:My future mother-in-law has pressured my fiancee to do a choreographed dance at our wedding with her next year. Like a fun one, not a sweet one. Are you belly? Come on. Enough with the dances. I know he doesn't want to do it, but she's paying for a big chunk of the wedding. Help. This is so embarrassing. Well, if she's paying for the big chunk of the wedding.

53:01Payton Purther:I prescribed that episode where they're all dancing at the summer. I turned pretty. What's that Netflix show? The Perfect Couple, where they have the dance at the beginning. Honestly, if it's something like that, then that kind of hits. If not, it's giving Sweet 16.

53:16Julia Mervis:Okay. My wife has a horrible home decor taste. It's all from -

53:22Payton Purther:Sounds like Peyton with our fucking confetti bath mat. Yeah, I have zero taste in design.

53:27Julia Mervis:Remy and Sheen, and makes me want to throw up and die.

53:31Payton Purther:Plus, she has a T-moo addiction.

53:33Julia Mervis:Plus, she has a Timu addiction. How do I survive? Holy fuck, how do I get a Timu addiction? How do I survive in these conditions? We've been married for a year and a half.

53:41Payton Purther:A Timu addiction. Oh, so you're already married. That's a big problem. What is Timu?

53:46Julia Mervis:What is Timu?

53:47Payton Purther:You remember the first Super Bowl ad? You can get a fridge for like$3. That was Tubi, Julia. No, that was Timu. You can literally get a fridge for$3.

53:55Julia Mervis:What?

53:56Payton Purther:Yeah. Everything's like crazy. Timu is like 50 cents. Everything on Timu. Okay. Like Peyton's dad, every time she'll like be like, I want to buy this. Can you buy it? For me, he sends her the team move version. Uh-huh. And he's like, you mean this? I'm like, no.

54:09Julia Mervis:I might need to re-potty train myself. I've peed my pants for too many times.

54:12Payton Purther:I used to pee my pants all the time every time I laughed. Really? Yes, you did.

54:16Julia Mervis:I've peed my pants for too many times for an adult. I peed my pants too many times for an adult on the train at work.

54:22Payton Purther:You're having trouble today. I know.

54:23Julia Mervis:I seriously have to limit and monitor how much I drink. Is this a real thing or should I just diaper it up? No. Definitely don't diaper it up. and I'm not even just saying this, I think you might have bladder OCD. I'm being dead ass fucking serious. We both have it. Me and Julia both have it. Like, I cannot fall asleep.

54:35Payton Purther:I pee 17 times before I go to bed.

54:37Julia Mervis:And every time I feel myself drifting off, I think, oh my God, I'm going to have to pee and I won't be able to fall asleep until I pee.

54:43Payton Purther:Me too.

54:44Julia Mervis:I always have to pee. I have to pee right now.

54:46Payton Purther:Damn, we're nutcases.

54:46Julia Mervis:Yeah, I have to pee literally right now. Is that why you had the worst insomnia that you did?

54:50Payton Purther:No. Julia will pee. But last night you were telling a story about me and it really, like, finally sunk in that I am insane.

54:57Julia Mervis:Oh, your insomnia, Julia? We've told about your insomnia.

55:00Payton Purther:No, but it finally sunk in. Like, you were telling this story, and I was like, oh, yeah, I have problems, for sure. Julia will pee before she goes to bed, like, actually 16 times. Every three minutes, she'll get up and go pee, and it's actually outrageous. Like, does anything even come out? Every time.

55:19Julia Mervis:Sometimes nothing comes out, and that's the best feeling, because you're like, all right, I'm done. Wait, that's the worst feeling,

55:23Payton Purther:because then I'm like, do I have a UTI? okay so what did we learn today that i missed you i missed you too i missed you guys too and we're gonna have a really fun weekend we learned that um you need to come more often and like well

55:36Julia Mervis:i'm going to maybe see a real estate agent okay well i learned that you missed us i missed you guys and i'm having a yes and i'm having a great time in new york say it like you mean it i learned that i really missed you guys but i already knew that i missed you guys and i'm having a great time in New York.

55:49Payton Purther:When did you know that you missed us?

55:51Julia Mervis:The day you left.

55:51Payton Purther:Uh-huh.

55:53Julia Mervis:And

55:53Payton Purther:We saw Jake cry for the first time. Ever.

55:55Julia Mervis:Yeah, that was the saddest day in my life.

55:56Payton Purther:One time when he and Jake got in our big blowout fight, he really tried to cry.

56:00Julia Mervis:I think he cried and Brett started laughing in my face.

56:03Payton Purther:Jake literally, get the fuck out of here. In our seven years of friendship, never seen him cry. I've never even seen him almost cry and he Oh, I'm kind of shocked we didn't tell this story. Like our final leaving in LA. Okay, we are meaning to wrap up this episode but we

56:19Julia Mervis:We had a final night out on Saturday night.

56:21Payton Purther:We were getting ready for a party and Cassidy was over and Cassidy was in Jake's room and texted us saying, by the way, I just walked into Jake's room and he's bawling. And we were like, you're lying. I can't do this. Oh, my gut reaction was I said, oh, you're lying. Ha ha.

56:36Julia Mervis:Well, because Alice came into my room and.

56:40Payton Purther:Oh, this is really sad.

56:41Julia Mervis:And she was I was like, oh, I'm going to be so depressed tomorrow because they were supposed to leave Sunday. Oh, I would like to touch on one more thing before we leave. What? No one came to their going away party.

56:50Payton Purther:Oh my God. How did we not talk about this?

56:54Julia Mervis:Nobody came.

56:55Payton Purther:Okay. Quickly. We Saturday went to the pregame. We had a pregame at our house. I'm done with this episode. Jake is bawling crying. Peyton, stop talking. It's done.

57:06Julia Mervis:What? You agreed? The episode's over now. You agreed that nobody came.

57:09Payton Purther:We admitted it and it's done. I honestly will say I don't give a fuck that no one showed up because I had enough fun for the capacity of the party.

57:18Julia Mervis:So four people.

57:20Payton Purther:No, no, no. I mean like the people that were supposed to be there.

57:22Julia Mervis:Like I had like 200 times a time. Alice came into my room and she said, I was like, I'm not going to leave tomorrow. I'm so sad. And she was like, oh my God, no, you're going to need to get out of the house because everything's going to remind you of them. And then I was like, what? And then the subway by Top of Road started playing when she left and I started crying alone in my room because I was so sad.

57:40Payton Purther:Well, does everything remind you of us? Like not really, huh? Because you guys redid the whole house.

57:46Julia Mervis:We needed to.

57:47Payton Purther:Yeah, no, I get it. Thank God you did. That house was despicable.

57:50Julia Mervis:The couch really reminds me of you guys. That's nice.

57:53Payton Purther:Yeah, it was a hand-me-down.

57:54Julia Mervis:Okay, so what did we learn today? We learned that we missed each other a lot.

57:57Payton Purther:So much. That we love when you're here. And that dating is great. Oh, that the Tate McCray concert was just electric. We knew it would be. We knew it would be. She just levels up every other time. Her at the VMAs. I was like, this the entire time I was in a trance.

58:15Julia Mervis:She just levels up every time.

58:16Payton Purther:Her at the VMA is like, I was in full body chills.

58:19Julia Mervis:But she does it and then she acts so nonchalant about it. Like, it's the craze. She's like, oh, yeah, that was fun. I'm like, if I ever did that, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about it ever. It's like, you just shook the country. She's so humble about it. I like genuinely humble too. So it's like, honestly, awesome to see.

58:34Payton Purther:The entire concert, we just kept looking at each other going goosebumps.

58:37Julia Mervis:Oh, every time. What was your favorite part of the show?

58:40Payton Purther:When she sang nostalgia, honestly.

58:42Julia Mervis:Oh, you loved that. My favorite part was when she did.

58:44Payton Purther:No, my favorite part always is guilty conscience.

58:47Julia Mervis:Oh, yeah, that's your favorite. Can I be honest? When they said, I want your two hands, and then the spotlight went straight on her. And also, my favorite part was when they did, it's okay, I'm okay, and they strut down the runway. Do you remember they strut down the runway?

59:00Payton Purther:Yeah, yeah, and they almost do this part, and then they walk to the front, and they really do it for real. Mine is when someone falls to the floor, and then blood on my hand starts. I know my favorite. I love that one, too. Say, you want to know me.

59:12Julia Mervis:You don't want to know me. You just want to do what I do.

59:15Payton Purther:Yeah, that. And also, just keep watching when it was going all around. Oh, yeah. And the lights were flaring. That was crazy. I seriously thought that was going to drop to the floor.

59:25Julia Mervis:Yeah, if you have any time, go see Tate McRae's Miss Possessive World Tour. It will rock your world and change your world. Rock your world. It will fucking incredible. It will make you want to get off the couch and move your body.

59:39Payton Purther:It'll inspire you to pick up some type of hobby. I'll tell you that much.

59:42Julia Mervis:Yes.

59:42Payton Purther:Because wow.

59:42Julia Mervis:Cause wow Wow What a gift Okay

59:46Payton Purther:And that's that

59:47Julia Mervis:And that's that

59:47Payton Purther:Goodbye

59:48Julia Mervis:Alright say bye pussies

59:49Payton Purther:Bye pussies Bye pussies Love you Love you Ugh I hate Mondays Kings of Wine cinnamon swirl bite?

1:00:04Julia Mervis:Taylor Hansen? Sure I'll try one Mmm Hey let's get back to work please But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. Taylor Hanson? Nice. Try one. Mmm.

1:00:23Payton Purther:King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.