Session 109.5: Oscar Nominee Meg Stalter Returns

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0:40Hey, you guys. We are, I'm just, it is Oscar day. I'm just getting ready to host the Vanity Fair red carpet. So we have Meg Stalter, one of the world's most famous actresses, coming to just talk before she goes to the awards. so we're really excited. Are you excited, Nolan? Very excited. Okay, cool. Hey, hey, don't worry. Don't worry about what? No. Do you a fever? Sorry. Hey. That you're not dressed up. Oh, my outfit's getting steamed for the show. Okay. No, it's okay. I can take them. I don't know. I'm catching them. Okay, that's cool. Hey. Oscar day. Oscar day. Are you excited? One second. Let me settle in.

1:28Hi. Hey, are you excited? Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know this was going to work out. I saw a video of you last night and you looked really sick. What video? Like you sounded sick. Oh, okay. So I didn't know if you'd cancel on me. No, I would never cancel on you. I mean, everyone thought you were supposed to be nominated tonight. What happened with that? You still sound like you're losing your voice. Oh, I'm not.

1:54Do you have a COVID test? No. Okay. Not the hype production. Oh, first let me show you the dress. Okay, let me see. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yep. It's such a beautiful designer. Wow, I love it. Designer. Prettiest girl in America. Yeah, I got a new tattoo. I love it. And the thing about this, oh, the camera can't really fully pick up. Okay. It's just getting a p***. So the thing about this dress, I guess I'll just, I'm trying to show the camera belt. I'll just like this. Okay. Wait. Sorry. So the thing about this dress is Veronica Mars styled me. And the thing about this is it kind of lower, it goes kind of like the cut of the dress is just like hanging right on the butt.

2:43Yeah, that's beautiful. Like right above the butt, which I kind of wanted it to be such an effortless feel. Like sometimes you see the underwear, sometimes you don't. Yeah, it's like when you remember when Jennifer Lawrence wore the Calvin Klein dress. I don't really remember. I don't really remember that. Oh, are you guys not close like that? I mean, we had a huge falling out. It was supposed to be Katniss. Oh, you were? Yeah. And then like what happened? Did they just like... I just really did not have time for this today. Okay. It was a long audition process and I couldn't do some of the physical activity that they needed Katniss to do.

3:21But I guess I thought having a stunt double was a thing, but I guess it wasn't. I couldn't do some of the physical activity. I'm sure there's probably some things she can't do. Right. Like what do you think she can't do? Have a good attitude. Okay. Around her friends. Yeah. Because you guys know more. We've had such a huge, huge falling out. I sent her flowers during the premiere of the Hunger Games 2, the second one I couldn't do it during the first one. Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to doing that. And then the second one I did send her flowers and she's said nothing about them. She didn't even text you?

3:57She didn't even know who sent them, probably. But did it say from Meg? No. She should know who they're from. Okay. She should just know. You know? So she didn't mention anything about that. Right. Have you spoken to Jessie since? She didn't really help you out at the Actor Awards. I've spoken to Jessie probably every morning since I met her. Because we're good friends. And you were on set. Yeah, it's not quite her fault. Whose fault is it? The editor in Chloe's. Yeah. But I love her. How did you find out you got cut? I found out at the award show. Son of a bitch. I found out at the award show, you son of a bitch.

4:36You didn't see the movie before? You didn't see my clip online that went viral. No, I did. You don't watch stuff that you're in. You had 100 ,000 likes on it. Yeah, you don't watch stuff that you're in, but you're agents, no one told you. I love Chloe. I love her stuff. Personally, I feel very cut off from her. Yeah. I feel like she and the editor had everything to do with me being cut from the movie. I agree. And I would love to be in one of her new movies when she comes out with a new one. So we will have to come back together. Right. Even though I love that woman. I would die. I would. I wouldn't die for her.

5:09She wouldn't die for you either.

5:14How are your kids? Why would you. Why did you say earlier that I wasn't nominated? I didn't say that. You said you thought you were going to be nominated and you're not. Yes, I am. Oh, what are you nominated for? I am nominated for Best Supporter. For what role? For Suddenly Tuesday, my new movie. Oh, okay. What's the premise of something? You are such a jackass. What's the premise? I just know why I'm here now. Because you want to post a video and then have everyone, oh, this person is annoying to Jake. Jake hates this person. You're trying to get me and your questions are coming so fast. Okay, so you asked me a question.

5:49Why don't you ask me a question? So right now you asked me what I'm nominated for, and then what was the other jackass question you asked me? I just asked you about - Wait, but then you've asked me about Chloe. You've asked me about Jesse. You've asked me about what I'm nominated. I'm like, I can't even see straight. Okay, how are your kids? You're acting like we only have two minutes for this. Okay. Oh, wait, wait. How are my kids? What am I nominated for? I mean, I feel like I'm on the Fast and Furious ride in Universal Theme Park. okay so i am nominated for best supporter that is a separate tier than supporting actress in main actress there's a middle there's best best actress back best lead best supporting best supporter so i am nominated for best supporter in suddenly tuesday suddenly tuesday yes and what's the premise of suddenly tuesday is a marvelous film about a mother who's enjoying motherhood and then gets hit by a car and comes back as an essential worker.

6:46Do you not research anything about your guests? I'm like sitting here like, I'm dumb. I'm dumb for being here. I knew we should have done this before. What job does she come back as? An essential worker. Which is? Working at the hospital, doing the stuff with masks at the front desk. She's working at the front desk of a hospital and someone comes in, do you need a mask? so is best supporting gender neutral like best supporter best yeah is it gender neutral girl it's girl we only have a girl category right now and who else is nominated but next year hopefully they'll have different categories okay and who else is nominated i am sylvester for what sylvester stallone uh-huh is i think he was in some sort of horror film and then also keanu reeves and Oh, wait.

7:39Sorry. I have to explain. I am the best girl in the category. Right. Then somebody from each gender is also in the category. Okay. So it's like right now I'm up for best supporter girl. But there's also like best supporter guy, best supporter blink, blink. Oh, and best makeup. You're nominated for best makeup? Yeah. For Suddenly Tuesday? Yeah. Who else is in Suddenly Tuesday with you? I thought I saw all the Oscar movies. I'm sorry. i'm like why i'm like whoa i'm being like completely blindsided i don't mean to but i just feel like you are we really here right now no we're really here and we're really doing like you really are coming at me fast okay i'm sorry let's slow down okay jen anison's in it okay and then the rest are newcomers okay like who freddie o 'connor uh-huh i don't even meet everyone that's in the movie right you're like i'm like the main person so there's like so many other background scenes like okay for instance my ex-husband because i'm dead finds a new woman i don't even know who plays that part okay right how are your kids i miss them okay so my kids are actually in your green room i told them that we're going into a doctor's office today and so i they saw all the pictures of you and they think you're the doctor okay what are they and how are they they well my oldest is living with her daddy right now because I do have a new boyfriend and he's not adjusting to having stepdaddy in the house.

9:11Can we say who it is here? Yes. So I am dating a man who works in a movie theater and he looks just like Jacob Elordi without the jawline. Hey, I, okay. What? I heard you and Jacob Elordi were fucking we were yeah and now I'm dating someone that looks like him next question okay I was dating him during the filming of Wuthering Heights and him and Margo and I went out for pizza all the time with fennel of course and it was just it was intoxicating but I couldn't keep up because I have children and I needed someone a little bit more so Shazam is that's my boyfriend's name is he is so good with kids um because he has like 15 dogs and so we usually hang out at my house and he actually a lot of times it's actually easier to be up he's kind of like okay so it's like we're having a vacation now because he like when we come over it's kind of like a break for the dogs right he always has to bring one that has a sort of disability.

10:19I don't mean to be like whatever, but you last time told me you only saw your kids once a year. Now I have them full time, full time. Except for the oldest, Monica. What happened to Monica? She again, living with her father. I told you that because she can't adjust to Sam and his lifestyle. Shazam? My boyfriend. Shazam, my boyfriend. He did my tattoo. Oh, he did it? Yeah. It's beautiful. And Monica is like, she's kind of like, she's awesome. She's a little mini me. but I think having a new daddy in the house I think is just hard for her even though Shazam's amazing with kids she's like where's my dad I want you guys back together she just she cannot process like he's gone dad's gone okay he is your new dad right Shazam is your dad yeah but Shazam is it hard for you to like provide all the finance how does Shazam he works in a movie theater how does he financially support 15 dogs so dogs are so like just get them whatever like if you're eating they're eating you know so he's i don't know what you mean by that orders a big pizza everyone gets a slice you know it's not like rocket science to feed a dog um dogs live on the street so they could eat off like whatever so i'm financially supporting shazam right now if that's what you're asking yeah yeah that is what i'm asking um three nap intact nope i trust them yeah and we're not engaged yet but hopefully i'm going to Paris soon.

11:44You think he's going to pop the question? I do. You're going to bring the kids? No. Blinds drawn. Yeah. Like you can't. Yeah. My nanny is going to be watching them. Yeah. And she's taking them to a water park. What's your nanny's name? Um, oh gosh, sorry. I had my phone really quick. No, that's okay. Sarah. I had to remember. How'd you find Sarah? So I found her on just like Facebook. I was, I like, like, like posted something like, oh, you're aging yourself. You still use Facebook. Facebook is still exists. So I'm the age that you can like, what, how old are you? So, cause cause I can use people are of all ages on Facebook.

12:30Okay. Oh, and guess what? I actually also use TikTok where I saw the video of you and where you sounded sick. Thought you're going to cancel on me. Let's talk about Oscar night. Yeah. What's your plan for the day?

12:44I just, I love it. I drink it in, you know, glamour and doing the hair and makeup. It's getting ready. And I am going to do Pilates after this, put the dress back on. But you're already in glam. You're going to do Pilates? Yeah. And then put the dress back on. And then I'm going to probably have a little bit of lunch. and then once you get to the award show it's just complete and utter euphoria and you finally get to your table and you get to have these little crackers and these grapes and you look around at every person that's ever meant something to you and who means the most to you I think probably Leonardo DiCaprio because I had such a crush on him in Titanic and we dated from 2011 to 2014 Wow, really?

13:37That's a long time I know Did he take you anywhere cool? No He was such a workaholic Yeah But I'm excited to see him And I want to go up to him and I say Hey, what are you doing here? And I'm sure he'll give me a big nuggy Who do you think? What is that? When they rub your head? Yeah, you got it I said two different things Yep, but one of them was right Did you go to Fashion Week? You know, I did I went to the Calvin Klein show So casual saying that. Yeah. You didn't even text me. Did you go to any of the shows? The Calvin Klein. I was there. I did not know you were there. I know. I was watching you.

14:15And I was like, why isn't he? I'm like waving. You're like not waving back at me. I don't remember that. You probably didn't recognize me. Oh, why? What were you dressed as? I was dressed as a really big, big, big person. Okay. A big, tall person. So you probably didn't see me up there. Who do you think deserves to be nominated least tonight? Well, I don't want to say this. I think Timothee Chalamet shouldn't be nominated. No, I'm kidding. You guys are close. I know, I'm a good friend of his. I'm kidding, Timmy. I hope you win tonight. No, I'm really close with him. I'm laughing about something he texted me the other day.

14:53What did he text you? No, I'm not going to tell you that. Okay. No, no, he texted me something about the ballet stuff. Oh, what did he say? He was like, can you believe? He sent me like an article and he's like, can you believe this? But you used to do ballet. I know. So if we're like really getting everything out there. Yeah. Go ahead. What? What little puppy? Come bark. How do you feel about child actors? Are you saying that because you were one? No, I was saying that because when I met Monica, she told me she wanted to act. And she said you screamed at her. and said, mommy's the only one that acts around here.

15:34You know what? I understand what you're doing, and it's because you used to be a child actor. Nope, didn't. Yeah, not on TV, but you used to do it. You used to do it in community. You used to do it in your school. She said you threw a plate. I will throw a plate again. I am protecting my children from the industry, and you're a psychopath if you think that Monica should be in a commercial or a TV show. She said it was a small role in SVU, and it was one day of shoot-in. Yeah, one day that could completely change the trajectory of her life. I mean, whose lives did SVU really change here? What did you just say?

16:07Whose lives did SVU really change here? Sorry, I didn't know what you said. Yeah, I'm totally against my kids going in the industry, obviously. Look at how my leg is on screen.

16:24I know you guys did a special effect on my leg to make me look bent like that. Guilty. fuck I don't think I should wear this dress it's too short no I love it no it's slutty for the Oscars so are you going to the Vanity Fair after party no are you yeah I'm hosting it you're hosting a party but you're not going to the actual show or that was just a question yeah no I have to do camera blocking so what does that mean exactly that you're hosting the party like I'm gonna be on the carpet asking okay people well i was gonna say like you questions but you're not you said you're not going i thought you meant like that you were hosting like you have to figure out what kind of food to put out where this the table names go um so what okay yeah i mean i guess i could probably try to swing by i i was gonna rent out a big hotel room and just have close friends come and watch it no i'll If you're supposed to be there for Best Supporter.

17:22Yeah, right. No, I meant, no, I'm going to be at the show. And then afterwards, we're going to all go to the hotel and just kind of totally, like, freak out. Like, there's a big bath. And what are you going to do? The bath? I'm just going to have people just do whatever they want. I mean, you're doing no favors to the blind items about you. What? What? What did you say? You're doing no favors to the blind items that I see about you on TikTok. What are some of the blind items? That you host insane orgies? Well, okay. They're not that crazy. I have some of my close friends, celebrity friends. I know.

18:03Come to the hotel. We hang out. We take a cigarette. We pass it around. We, you know, play Twister, whatever. If people kiss, they kiss. What's the craziest kiss that you've seen? It's a three-way kiss. Between Christopher Guest. Uh-huh. Monica Lewinsky Wow And Christina Aguilera The new one Holy shit Mm-hmm And it was fun But yeah No we're not all having sex I mean We're just kissing But we're kissing We're playing truth or dare But yeah I mean I guess Okay you want to play Truth or dare right now Yeah Okay Go ahead You ask me first I dare you No I It's like truth or dare Truth or dare Truth Truth.

18:50Okay. Is it true that you got into my car, pissed on the floor, jumped out, ran off? I was really upset with you. I know. And I know the smell of your piss. Okay. I knew it was you. Well, truth or dare? Truth. Okay. Is it true that last year when you were at the Oscars, you threw a huge fit backstage when you realized you weren't nominated after you already got there. Yeah. And you hit the head producer, you grab their headset off, and then your team had to rush in, Paul had to rush in, and make them all sign NDAs and give them a bunch of money, and it never got out until right now. Is that true?

19:37Yes. Okay. And I would like to say, you know, give me a chance to just say, I felt it was unfair for my publicist to tell me I was nominated. And I guess he was kidding, but I was very upset. And it was for a movie called Marley and We. It was a Marley and Me sequel that we did. It was a direct remake of the first. And yeah, it was really upsetting. I mean, I even messaged the dog's mom. And said what? We're winning. So when I pulled that person's hair and headset off, I mean, that was for the dog. When you think you're going to win something and you don't. and it's like it makes you feel sick and it makes you feel like you deserve to kill someone did you feel in that moment that you deserved to kill someone yes and that wasn't just for me nolan that was for my family that was for the dog and you know

20:36sorry uh louise louise louise can you go grab louise meg is upset with her so I've always um I just I just don't get along with that girl no I know you don't Louise um I was wondering um first of all who do I have to fuck to get my salad that I asked earlier um no I just wanted you to know if you can go check out my kids they're in the green room absolutely the last time I left I saw them which was like what 20 minutes ago last time you lock him in the car. I meant the last time now. I didn't mean the last time I was here. It meant the last time I showed them, which was now. Please continue.

21:27I hate to love this guy. Yeah, I know. No, the last time I left them in there with a couple granola bars, but they were taking some of the pictures of you off the wall.

21:40Tell Luis about your movie that you're in. So, yeah, so Jake didn't know I was nominated today for the Oscars. Tell her the award. Oh, wait. I'm doing the bow down symbol to myself. But no, I hate talking about myself. I am in a movie called Suddenly Tuesday. I play a mother who has died and come back to Earth as an essential worker and learn the meaning of love and family. And I'm being nominated today for Best Supporter, which is not Best Supporting Actor. it's best supporter actor and I'm the girl in the category you have someone from different genders they guy and then they have two males and then one day and one girl yeah and you're the girl yes and what's the essential worker you come back as I already told you but I'll tell you before you go check on my kids and get my salad but I am the person that works at the front desk at a hospital where they ask like do you need a mask what's one of your like lines that you're most proud of in the film like you're real like your monologue can you can you give it do you need a mask no i'm kidding my favorite big big big crescendo of the movie is i wake up back in my body and after you got hit by the bus it's not a funny scene um so after i get hit by the car not bus end up in heaven then god tells me to come back down as the essential worker i'm in her body then I'm back in heaven then I wake up in my own body so this is the moment where I'm waking back on my body in my when I'm waking back on my in my body on earth okay and I wake up see my husband standing over me with a big bowl of oatmeal it's kind of funny because the guy that plays my husband hilarious um Adam Sandler so he's standing there with a big bowl of oatmeal I wake up and see him And this is the monologue.

23:36Okay, ready?

23:41Adam. I can't believe it. I have loved you through death in hospital. And here you are with a big bowl of oatmeal. Whose phone is ringing? You've seen enough, so. I hear the phone like. Why does he have oatmeal? Because he's bringing me my breakfast. But you died. and then came back into my body. It was all like a dream. Have your kids seen the movie? They've seen parts of it. There's a lot of sex in it. Yeah, they couldn't see that. So they can't see all the parts. Did you have an intimacy coordinator? You're studying a bit. Did you have an intimacy coordinator? Yes, I did. Don't point at me like that.

24:21Okay. What was their name? I hooked up with him though. Okay. So it was kind of like, whatever. It kind of like didn't work. Like we had him on set, but every time he was on set, he was just making out with me. Like after you would fuck Adam Sandler? Well, we didn't fuck. There's a lot of different kind of foreplay that's seen. And then in the movie, she actually doesn't have sex with her husband in the movie. She actually has sex with a patient she falls in love with while she's back in the essential woman's body. So she falls in love with a patient, sort of like when Izzy falls in love with that dying guy.

24:53Danny. Yeah. What do you think about Katherine Heigl? I think there is a scene of her In New Year's Eve the movie And in this scene The person This is real They must have missed Cut the scene Because Every second She has her jacket All the way zipped up And then one second The camera turns and goes back All the way down Then it turns back It's up again That's what I think about her And is that real? Yeah How fun is that? Yeah. She's even meaner than you think. Really? What'd she do to you? She pulled my panties down. I was at the mall with her, and I was with a bunch of girls, and she thought it'd be funny to pull my underwear down.

25:39Luckily, I had two pairs of underwear on that day, so she didn't moon everyone. But yeah, me and my girlfriends like to get each other's clothes off, but I didn't really want it to happen to me in a public place. Of course not. There was consent, because we always did that to each other, but yeah. She's a bully. She's a bully. She put my bra in, during a sleepover, you put someone's bra in the freezer. So then when they put it on, it's cold and it makes your nipples hard. She did that to me. Have you done that, Louise? I haven't thought about that in years. Have you thought about going to check on my kids?

26:13Because I asked her to do that. Oh, yeah. Well, Meg would like to address she does not like you at all. That is not true. That's not true. I don't not like you. We haven't even got to hang out besides the one night we went for oysters. anything to say we went for an oyster and mussel night oysters and mussels yeah but she said she loves them both why okay the camera guy could say that my cunt's showing no I I love every time I'm here and I love all of the characters in your life who's your favorite character in your life yeah I like that little blonde one Brett? I think you guys are so fun together.

26:55Yeah, she just ran. But also you two are one of my favorites as well. Nolan kind of upset me earlier. I'm sorry. And you said I was not everyone's cup of tea, even though I've been working on comedy for 12 years of my life. What comedies have you been in? What comedy have I been in? Yeah, I thought you were only in serious shit. Well, I'm in Hacks, which is the show you're in. Okay. We were in a scene together. Right. So you don't remember? I. You kind of consider that more of a drama. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah. I am mostly in dramas. I was actually supposed to be not only in Katniss in that movie, but also I was supposed to play the girl in Mother.

27:34Oh, so in Jennifer Lawrence's mother. Yeah. What about Die My Love? Were you up for that one? I was up for the guy. Okay. Like a twist. Like I'm the dad, but I'm myself. Like I'm me in drag. But then you would be like, ah, like. Whatever the line is. Yeah. What's your favorite line you've ever said? Ever? Yeah. You know, I did a movie a couple years ago, and it was sort of about like a haunted bride. And I guess my favorite line from that was, you're going to marry me, or I'm going to marry myself. I can't believe I've never seen that. Why did you laugh? Sorry. I was just so like taken by it. Yeah.

28:24Cause it's kind of like the haunted bride is like, she like is a monster kind of, I think that was my favorite.