Session 119: Kacey Musgraves

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0:26Hey. Hi, do you want to touch my crystal? Yeah. It gets rid of, it encourages trust and builds positivity and exerts healthy emotional release. Okay. You need that. I don't know if I want that. Wait, you totally need that. Well, we have Kacey Musgraves on the show today. Yay. That's our fave. Did you just buy this? Yesterday. I was crying and I walked into a crystal shop. You're not well. No. I'm really not. Are you okay? No, I'm really not. Why? I don't know. I've just been twisted up here.

1:04Why? It's not seamless. Like, of many things. You're just depressed? Majorly. Well, maybe. It's time to start meds again. Yep. I've been screaming it from the rooftop for months. No, I took meds for like five years and then I stopped. Well, because Wellbutrin was giving you a panic attack. It was making me so anxious. But that's, I'm pretty sure that's like a common thing people have. Yes, my psychiatrist is trying to give it to me. And I'm like, I don't. Well, it's like a stimulant. So you're the, why would you need that? Right. So it just like wasn't helping my anxiety at all. So. I'm pretty sure it's for depression.

1:37Yeah. I mean, you can treat it for both. And I have both. So. But. So I stopped. I mean, nobody hears about this. And then I'm going to, I'm going to have to start again soon. Because I'm just like, whew. You're not well. It's bumpy. Yeah. But I'm on Luvox. What's that? It's for OCD. I think you have that, by the way. You think I have OCD? You think about the same thing consistently, and you can't drop it. But I don't have, like, rituals like you. Well, it can manifest in different ways. Right. I probably have everything, honestly. Probably. Give it to me all. What's your favorite Kasey song? Well, I have to think about it.

2:12You love Butterflies. Love Butterflies. Love Space Cowboy. Space Cowboy. You showed me that one. I showed you Space Cowboy. You showed me Space Cowboy. I think Space Cowboy. Or you, like, re-brought it to my life. I think that's my, right now, that's my favorite. But, like, Rainbow. Oh, you love Rainbow. Like, Rainbow was the best. I talked to her. And Justified. I like that song. Oh, you love Justified. Do you remember when we listened to Deeper Well in the Backyard? In the Backyard. What is that other one we love? Come to me and drop your bags. What's the, you'll be fine? And I'll help you unpack.

2:45Nothing to be scared of. But what's the other one? The architect. We love that one. Of the architect. because Casey just like really is so she just says things and you're like damn yeah that's what I told her I said you yes I like she just says it's so simple and you're like wow because she I said I think she was put on this earth to like just write about the world right and like the simple things that like you're like oh damn she like never thought about that she makes the simple things so extraordinary deeper well is like the best song I've ever heard in my life yeah it's Like when that came out and you were like, put it on right now in the car.

3:20I was like. I think Casey writes like as if it's a Bible for how to live life. A thousand percent. Merry go round is the greatest song of all time. The greatest wordplay of all time. Like of all time. Trish showed me that song. Trish loves Casey. Years and years and years ago. Yeah. It's just so good. We have to see her on tour. Have to. Okay. So I'm obsessed with happier grocer. Really? Yeah. What do you get there? The, uh, chicken. The gluten free turkey wrap. Oh. I have it every single day. I still, by the way, like I know that I grew up here and like I've lived here now for like eight months.

3:53I have no idea where I am ever. Have you had the smoothies from Happier? No. Are they good? Yeah, Kennedy really likes them. I've only had one once. Which? You know what you need to try? What? Tom's juice. Really? It's that fucking good. What do they have? And you like juice, by the way. You always want juice. What do they have? What do they have? Am I wrong? Like don't you always want like some type of refreshing drink? No, what do they have? Juice. It's all over the juice. But like, do they have snacks? No, just juice. Nothing else? No food? Just juice. What do you get? The store is the size of this table.

4:26Do they have smoothies? Just juice. Okay. And is it good? It's amazing. Okay, well, I'll get it after. I'll get it in a little. They have kiwi juice. Ew. They have watermelon juice I had this morning. Okay. They have, well, he calls it coconut juice, but it's coconut water. They have orange, grapefruit. They have mango juice, which is insane. Sorry, I just spit everywhere. I saw. They have passion fruit juice, but it's literally$10 for this big of juice. So the passion fruit is less juice than the other juices? It's like small for some reason. Okay, continue. Kiwi, did I say that yet? That was the first one you said, which did not tickle my pickle.

5:08Well, it's amazing. So like, I don't know why I'm convincing you. They have four juices? No, they have a million different juices. Like just fucking go with me one time. Okay. Do you like my haircut? Yeah, I do actually. I was noticing it. Okay. I just fully lied. I didn't notice at all. You didn't notice my hair was chopped? No. I don't notice boys' cuts. Yeah, that's valid. Do you like my hair? Yeah, it looks great. It's so long. Louise and I are getting aqua gold facials tomorrow. I want that. I got micro needling like a month ago and I thought it made my skin look amazing. At the Brightwood Clinic.

5:38At the Brightwood Clinic. I didn't get mine at the Brightwood Clinic. I got mine with Ali. And she gives you your whole thing? My whole thing. Well, your skin looks great. I get a facial with her once a month. Uh-huh. And then we just recently did microneedling and PRP under my eyes. What do PRP under my eyes? But you're going to be a little bruised for like a few days. No, I can't have that. Yeah, no. It honestly took me out of commission for like, remember when I got to Coachella and my eyes were like low-key black and blue? No, I don't remember that at all. Well, there was like black and blue like on this one eye and it had been like a week.

6:08That was the best Coachella of all time. Oh my God, it was so fun. I've never had one time. But I haven't been able to like really go out since because I was like so down bad. I don't think you understand. Like you didn't hear one word come out of my mouth on Sunday, did you? Oh my God, no, I didn't. I literally couldn't speak. Do you remember I got a Benadryl IV? What did I say? No, you guys, this was actually the most insane thing. No, like all of you, like I've never experienced anything like this. So Bev was over and we got IVs and Jake was like, I want the Benadryl. But I feel like you get Benadryl in your IVs every time.

6:36I do. Something about this was different. She puts the Benadryl push in. all of a sudden he starts speaking nonsense like actual nonsense like words that didn't exist he started like mumbling and dumbling whatever goes you need to help me upstairs he dives into bed i don't hear from him for the next 24 hours you woke up at like 5 p.m the next day no i didn't or you went to bed it was like 6 p.m and you didn't wake up until like 11 i started seeing people it was super scary i'm coming out with my with my own skew of katchas gummies and i have them here i'm so excited i mean holy fuck yeah they're good right this is the best by far by far.

7:22Like by, respectfully of course by far. And this one it's amazing. It's amazing. And it still has like that marshmallow-y thing that the wild and free ones have. But then it's like the taste of the rainbow kind of one. And sour. Oh hell. That's really good. Well, me and Casp had drinks and And we had four martinis each. Oh, that TikTok you sent me of the martini killed me. Oh, my God. It was disgusting. It literally looked like green dishwater. It said you're having the worst day of your life, and this is the martini you get. It's in a plastic cup. And it's like dirt water green. And it's the Beyonce sound that's like, so now what are you going to say to me that you, whatever, my funeral?

8:11Anyways, we have four martinis each. So, obviously, I'm drunk, like blackout. Then Cass invited a few people to join us. and we were so fucked up honestly like really really drunk like would i have had fun yeah you would have had fun then peyton shows up alone honestly no idea where she came from she just spawned ryan also spawns out of nowhere in a tuxedo uh-huh with our vlog camera and he vlogged his entire did you watch it yet no i haven't watched any of the footage yet but he apparently said he sat down at the table and took the camera out of his pocket and was just like hey everyone put the camera down and everyone's head snapped and was like are you vlogging because like why would ryan vlog and then we went to the nines to dance a bit was it dancey yeah it was really crowded don't they like play piano there no it like turns into like okay fun vibes like it's like not jazz bar it's like a dj and tables oh okay then we left we on a limo we went to time square and like i looked at my phone and it was like i had had like at least seven drinks at this why what do you do in time square i don't even know i don't know how they do it i get over i've already had a full day yesterday they're all like they still have lola's over them their mascara is running down their face i'm like oh my god i've literally entered the gates of hell what what like what else should we talk about you're depressed you just glitched no yes you're depressed you're going on meds we love casey love casey when is she going on tour did she announce that yet i think she did i'm so sad that we missed her weekend too me too i would like to go to weekend two next year was weekend two better than it always is and it's like weekend two is always just a little more chill yeah and like i could do some chill next time no i had so much but like i will say like the only issue about coachella for me is like i can barely do one day of coachella let alone two like I will never make it to day three.

10:12Ever. Okay well love you. I'm so excited for this episode. I'm def gonna listen to this one. Oh yeah real quickly Julie and Peyton tried to give me shit for not watching their vlog the other day. Wait I didn't try to give you shit I just said watch it because like you're gonna think it's really funny. You don't watch my show. I know I actually thought about that as I said it I was like wait he doesn't want to watch because like I don't Do you have extensions in right now? Yeah that's what I was trying to tell you it's so long. They look really amazing. Right? Your dog died. Oh, he did. Are you okay?

10:42Well, that's definitely adding to my depression. I think so too. It definitely is. Well, maybe he died and his dying wish is for you to get on meds. Maybe. Maybe. Can I say though, every time I'm worried about a situation, you handle it so much better than I think you would. No, I handle the situations that like don't deserve to be dramatic very poorly and I handle like very dramatic situations well. Julia, me too. It's just us. It's just us. We're the same. It's just us. We are. Okay, well, I love you. I love you. I love you. You were saying, though, right before this, you were like, I am so scared because you were, like, overanalyzing it that, like, it's boring.

11:19You were scared of it being boring. Yeah. There's actually, like, this quote that I wanted to read you that I think just, like, describes it. It was a review of Golden Hour, but it describes, I think, how you write and your storytelling just entirely. and it says Casey Musgrave sings simply about the world as if she's the first person to notice and you're the first one she's telling. Oh I like that. Yeah and that's and I think that is to me the beauty of your music because you describe these feelings with such simplicity that are so hard to figure out. Yeah yeah it's just I think like I find a lot of awe like in the human experience and for me like I do feel like all the inspiration that I find is usually within the most mundane like it's like in the everyday like for me it's not like this grandiose far-reaching poetic like sense of something it's like it always hits me in the most like banal kind of like mediocre like life moments and I feel like that's where like so much of the beauty lies you know of being a human I have what what song do you remember that hate like do you remember a moment that was so mundane that hit you and you were like oh this this song came out of that I mean so many of them like I feel like I write my best when I've had a lot of time to just like live life and you know what I mean and I'm not really like on any kind of like time time constraint I can just kind of like live life and let the ideas like build back up but you know like oh what a world like that was one of them yeah he breathes deeply I have to where were you when that idea struck?

12:57I mean, I think I was probably somewhere in Nashville, but I just remember like, I was like falling in love. I was in this place of extreme wonder and like, you know, rose colored glasses. And I was also, I think when you fall in love, you like you're, you see the world in this kind of refreshed new, beautiful light again. You know, you're like, oh my God, there's like, you forget, like they're shooting stars out there. There's jellyfish that glow, like there's like bioluminescence like we live in a trippy world and we just get so here you know that we kind of forget the magic exists oh what a world indeed it's a crazy world too though y 'all yeah it really it really is but i think you're like you make real fucking music and i don't want this to just be me complimenting you no i think that it should be i have three beverages now over here which i do love that we both were on the creation i know and you know what it came to me I was like right literally right before you came I was like oh I'm just gonna order one yeah and then you walked in with one and I was like and that's and that's on that's the mundane and that but your song that really I would say like describes that for me is happy and sad yeah I feel that all the time because I never knew how to express that feeling everyone I would be like everyone would always be like you look look around you life is so good I'm like I can't because I'm so scared of it becoming bad again and having it hurt that much harder.

14:23Or knowing that like happiness is fleeting. The good doesn't last forever. Like even the most beautiful thing dies or God, it's so like morbid sounding, but it is true. And it's hard to not get caught up in that when you're experiencing such a high because you're like, oh, is there a low that's going to be next? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's real. And sometimes that happiness, it's like almost so beautiful that you're like, like it brings you to tears because you're like, do I deserve this? You know what I mean? That's how I feel all the time. Yeah. How have you learned to understand that you do deserve it?

14:54Oh, I mean, therapy, I think getting older, like you realize you're like, I do deserve this thing that I really am working hard towards, or I do deserve to be in a really reciprocal, beautiful relationship, you know, like, and I can like, I can like stand in that and say like, I deserve that. I do. I feel like, you know, I mean, everyone does though, you know, I feel like your 20s, at least for me right now are a lot about like reconciling i don't know if you felt the same way like reconciling with like who you were how you grew up oh yeah totally it's that exploration period of like or you're examining kind of like the building blocks of who like or yeah who you are and why why are you like that you know what i mean or maybe like how your parents are or like how your childhood was and it's your chance to like examine that and um i think like like make changes or like you know decide is that is that actually how I do I align with this right yeah yeah yeah I wanted to talk to you about follow your arrow because that was actually my first introduction to you when I was in seventh grade okay oh wow damn okay where's my cane I definitely need the eye cream at this no I heard it and I never heard I just had never heard a country singers sing about gay people before like when you put was there any hesitation to put that out or were you just like fuck it I mean mostly just like fuck it it's interesting because I wrote that song that was like I think the last addition to that record and I remember bringing it into the label and I was like so here's the album and I'm adding the song and yeah I mean they were just definitely like yeah no this um this is gonna you're gonna be roasted for this like it's gonna go down in flames and here's all these reasons as to why like you shouldn't put this out and And I just, it honestly made me want to do it even more.

16:45Like, don't tell me that I should, you know what I mean? Like, that's reverse psychology. But yeah, I was just like, okay, well then if it goes down in flames and it's for something that I really, truly believed in. And, you know, like when you really look at the bones of country music, like it's a genre built on storytelling, you know, it's real stories. And, you know, at least that's my favorite kind of country music. So I just feel like it's a natural fit that it would include like just parts of real life. Like, like the, like historic country music talks about stuff. That's like, it's typically sometimes left of center.

17:20It like talks about heartbreak and just things that are, you know what I mean? Like can be a bit painful or very real, you know what I mean? And so I'm kind of like, this is country to me to like talk about. Gay shit. Gay as hell shit. Yeah, pretty much. But that was, and I think that that's what you've done for a lot of people. You've really helped translate. I feel like for a long time people thought country was this very almost sort of specifically very straight thing. And you were kind of like, no. Yeah. Country can hit somebody like in their heart. And you don't have to be like living on a farm and like, you know, to appreciate it or whatever.

18:01And I feel like one of the best compliments that I've ever received, like, in my entire career is that, like, you know, someone said, basically what you said of saying, like, I always felt like country music was this party that I could, you know, I grew up in a small town and I always identified with country, but I just felt like it was a party that I was never invited to. And hearing your music made me feel like I was finally invited to the party. And I was like, okay, that's, that means so much more than any, like, you know, radio chart number or like, you know. But yeah, the song ended up getting banned by country radio.

18:33Did it really? And yeah, I'm like, it's just funny. And like, I saw something about this the other day about, you know, there was an article about like liberal and more of the conservative people in country music or whatever. And I think people tend to forget that the idols that we have from country music, like we're thinking like Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Loretta Lynn, like they were outlaws. Like they, they were liberal. Like Loretta Lynn was out here singing about birth control when it was like a very controversial taboo subject. You know what I mean? I think we just forget that there is a large part of country music that we love that is very outlaw.

19:09And that means speaking up for the marginalized like subjects and things, you know. Yeah, a thousand percent. And I think you've done that so beautifully. Thank you. I feel like I've heard you talk about this before, but like how do you deal with like writer's block and stuff? Because I feel like I've heard you speak about this before. I just like, I really try not to force it. I mean, and the writing process is different for every single person. Some people probably write like every day, like I can't even imagine that. But like in my phone, I have in my notes app, I just have like a running little basket of little ideas and song titles and things like that.

19:46And so like, I feel like as I'm living life and kind of, you know, just getting to experience it, like just being human, then naturally I'm just inspired. Oh, that's a song title or like I see something somewhere or like a thought comes to me and I'm like okay that's a twist on a thought or a lyric or something and I put it in my notes app and then I just kind of come back to it later when I have time like right now I'm promoting a record like it's you know there's all this inertia around that I don't really have the creative need to start a new song I have some ideas though that I'm like I really want to write that and they'll just it's almost like it finds the time to be yeah written or something are any of the songs on the new record can you remember a time where you wrote it down in your notes app and it became then all of them yeah all of them I mean and I so I have this never-ending like note document that goes I mean it's years long and occasionally I'll email it to myself so if I'm like god forbid to lose this yeah um but yeah I mean I have references to all the ideas in there at some point you know they usually start out as a song title and then yeah and then I figure out what is this how can I flip this or what is the angle of this right yeah yeah I loved coyote oh thanks it's kind of a creepy little it's creepy it's creepy what is what is it because I'm like listening to it I'm trying to figure out what it what it's about what is it about to you a large part of of healing getting older and kind of getting into my like 30s is figuring out why am I attracted to emotionally um unavailable people like emotionally avoidance like if you know about the attachment theory I'm vaguely familiar it's like you know we all for different reasons have these attachment styles that we're kind of like we were hardwired with like from childhood or whatever like there's several different types like secure attachment is the goal right but you can be anxiously attached an anxiously attached person or an avoidant attached person.

21:44And that kind of dictates how you kind of move in relationships and how you, the choices you make, the people that you choose. And it's just interesting, like typically I would say when I'm like not secure, I'm, I like err on the side of the anxious attached person. And so I've typically chosen people that are avoidant. So there's always like a chaser in a relationship. Typically in these imbalances, there's like a power struggle, right and someone's like the one pulling the other person closer trying to advance the relationship like you know desperately wanting that closeness and then the other person feels the avoidant feels suffocated by closeness and the anxious attachment is the person pulling and the anxious attacher feels like oh my god these this person's gonna leave you know or i'm gonna do something and it's gonna ruin this relationship or whatever and it's funny because the closer that the people the the two get it just like the, the pattern just keeps going.

22:38And the other person starts pulling out because they're like, Ooh, I'm going to, I'm going to feel claustrophobic in this. Like there's a whole thing about it, but like, like somewhere along the way, that person was hardwired with the thought that like, um, to be really loved and to be close means that I lose my autonomy. I lose my freedom. And so I don't, I push it away. You know what I mean? And I've always gone for people like that and so you know oh oh so you're okay so this is like sometimes i'm like i'm slow so no i think i'm just like no no no you're on the spectrum biblically i'm like no no no you're no no well it was a long ass point the adderall has not kicked in yet um but like i'm circling to like i saw a couple coyotes on my property one day in nashville which is strange to see them in the daytime and i saw there was two and i was like because i was like what is that and have these little, these knocks, I got my knocks out.

23:30And I was just like, Oh, those are some coyotes. And I was like, okay, that's a song title. There's something in there. A coyote is like this beautiful creature, but they're like, and they kind of edge on like city's edges. They like they're, they're nearby, but they don't want to get close. And if you get too close, like you might get bitten, you know what I mean? Or whatever. And so it just kind of reminded me of like being in a relationship with someone who is like terrified of closeness. Basically, I'm just like likening this it's sort of a metaphor you know what I mean like being in you know seeing this um this person that you're attracted to and that you want closeness with but um you know they just they just kind of can't give it to you you know and so that's just kind of where the song came from but in a sense in general just kind of examining like what is it in me that's picking that type of person right several times over and like why like why am I attracted to that you know what I mean it's there's so much to it it's really interesting you should read have you you should try reading i really should i got 12 pages into my book last night and i fell asleep yeah that's honestly the best we were talking about like taking supplements to sleep fucking put a read a page lorazepam no we're just just read i feel like it'll put you put your ass to sleep so quick it really did last night i was like oh babe it was giving me anxiety idea I was like I gotta put this down put the book down put it down better than a doom scroll though doom scrolling is the bane of my existence but it like yeah it's like let me just ingest all this shit right before I close my eyes yeah great idea it wakes me up though it like literally it like it like no like when I'm doom scrolling like I try to do it as like a form of reading but it just it I'm never gonna sleep oh no I get in the craziest wormholes at night like the other day I was like oh yeah I really should go to bed let me look up all the different types of aliens there are apparently in the universe do you believe in aliens uh yeah I really do okay tell can you tell me why because my mom is like such a skeptic and I'm really really similar to my mom I would say you are a skeptic as well I believe I like take what my mom says kind of like I really like when she says something she says it with such like conviction conviction that I'm like oh you're right.

25:47So do you feel in general, this is interesting. I want to know, like, do you feel like the world is life existence is where you can all see where you can see it? Or do you think that it extends past that? Is there a, is there a supernatural side that you feel like exists that you can't see? Or are you, do you feel like it's more so just, this is what it is. It's right here in front of us or it's not. I think I'm like, this is what it is because I can't wrap my head around the fact that there be more to that. Yeah. It's like hard for me. I'm such like a facts person. Yeah, like literal. Yeah, I'm like, well, what do you, and I, and like, do you believe like when there's like flying saucers over, like, do you believe those are alien ships?

26:28Like that. Um, I guess you haven't seen the Instagram I just created for my weird sightings. You, oh, you believe in this. I'm done. No, like, okay, let me just check the follower count because guys, there's apparently there's a lot of believers out there um too so night before last I was like I because I really do have really interesting unexplainable things that I see all the time for years um and I was like I'm gonna freaking start an Instagram page um for this so I did and it already has it has 25.1 followers it's just funny that we're talking about this because I literally the other day there was all these like all these news pickups about the fact that I had posted these videos of these orbs that are lights these really strange lights that me and my one of my managers saw on a plane the other night and um I'm just seeing weird stuff all the damn time so it just like finds me I swear but also the more you look for it the more you see you know and I feel like once I started noticing it it was like probably around like 2012 it just took off I've seen the craziest like if I really did tell people like all the things that I've seen they'd be like she's lock her away like she's batshit what's the craziest thing you've seen I mean lots of different um like unidentified flying things um and it started in Mexico like back in like 2012 um and I was with other people um was not high I was not drunk nothing um and that was just this whole crazy thing that I can't even wrap my brain around like what it could have been.

28:07And then literally four days later, I was back at my house in Nashville, me and my boyfriend at the time. And we were like watching family guy was like 10pm. And we were out on the screen porch. And I out of the corner of my eye, kind of above the neighborhood, I saw these two massive balls of fire that were like, it looked like flaming suns. Like at first I thought, Oh, is that something on fire but I like we ran down the street and looked and um yeah they were just two silent massive balls of fire that were just sort of slowly silently kind of floating flying like above the neighborhood and we like followed them to the end of the street and then they just disappeared and I was like okay like and you had someone with you to be like I saw that yeah and that same person was at the first sighting um and then since then it's just been like oh wow the weirdest stuff Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

28:59Like I was thinking about this one yesterday as I was flying in. But one time I was flying into California. I can't remember if it was LA or if it was like what city it was. But it was daytime. I was flying solo. I was like by myself. I mean it was on a commercial plane. But there was. And there were other people. But it was like not a packed flight. And I had the road to myself. And I was just like looking out the window. And maybe about 10 yards away from the plane. just floating like out there was I can just describe it as like it was like a cobalt blue color like spinning top it looked like a spinning top and it was maybe about the size of like a small car and I was like is anyone else seeing this like it made me feel insane and it was just just there was no lights on it or anything it was just a spinning blue top and I was like what the hell do you have a photo of it no I didn't know a lot of these things I don't have photos of um I think I was just like when you see something like that you're like holy shit but the other night I did catch a bunch of videos of the ones that like me and my manager Bobby saw on this plane ride and they were unreal like there was just no way you can just like there's no way we're alone I just I don't know I mean I'm just constantly like I don't think that we are alone I think that would be kind of wild and also kind of maybe a little bit sad but um I'm just constantly torn is like does the government know and they're just hiding it but also like do we trust anything the government says anyways and they're going to use it as an epsine files distraction anyway so like but i'm like but do they know because the public would there would be a mass freakout religion would collapse like you know what i'm saying like oh yeah i guess so right yeah did you watch the age of disclosure i haven't okay i haven't i watched what is it okay so it's this movie um i think it's on amazon and it's with a bunch of ex-government employees so my dad my dad is like you and he's like and he's like it is the most insane thing and then my mom is like they are disgruntled ex-government employees so that's how my mom views it and she's like they're just angry that they like aren't working with the government anymore and are like you know what I mean so I'm like oh who do I believe I guess I have to watch it but I'm so easily swayed I mean the problem is is that now AI exists so even if I had like the most clear amazing high-res footage of like the most unbelievable thing nobody would believe it anyway so like i kind of have this thought that like was ai floated out there if the government does know some shit and they like knew or i don't know we're aware of think more things coming to light was ai pushed out to just kind of keep us confused so the real stuff could hide amongst the fake stuff and nobody knows what's real you know what I mean oh god that thought is so scary of like not knowing because AI becoming so it is becoming real real real yeah it is how has that impacted the music scene for you it hasn't gotten into my world at all I mean I don't fuck with it but like also I'm kind of like does anyone actually think AI music is good no I feel like part of the whole specialness of music is that it came from a human's experience right and it's relatable that way like anyone can turn out or any machine could turn out like ear candy that is like engineered to be like liked but i don't think it has the same value right because it there's no struggle behind it no machine can turn out golden hour period no machine could ever turn out golden hour ever like that oh my god like that can we talk about golden hour yeah sure that album has like really gotten me through some shit but not even just romantically just living life it was a comfort album for you it was just like this is it almost to me feels like a bible for how to live life oh i love that and then pairing it with deeper well as well which I also like, I love that.

33:08I'm about to go through my Saturn return. Oh, hang on. What? Oh God. What do you mean? It can get rough, but you'll be better for it. How was your Saturn return? It was rough divorce. I moved houses like, yeah, it was intense. It was, it was intense. Um, I really do think there's something to it for sure, but it does make way for, I think maybe more authenticity, more room kind of clearing, you know? So yeah, but just have a Xanax on hand or something. I actually did want to ask you about your relationship to weed. I thought you were just going to say, I did want to ask about your relationship to Xanax, which you have one.

33:53I mean, sometimes you just need a chill pill. I really do. And that's what I feel like it is. My brain is so all the time that I need something to just shut it off. Maybe try meditation. Do you meditate? No, no, no, I, I do sometimes, but not as much as I used to do it twice a day, but I've been journaling. That's good. Journal. And I've been journaling to golden hour. Really? Yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Cause it makes me like, think about like the simplicities of life and like finding just like writing. because I feel like I journal to write about things that I would normally forget. I'll never forget interviewing you this day or talking to you this day.

34:36But I won't like there are moments where I'm like, and then I asked her about aliens, not knowing that she had just created an alien. And like little things like that. The nuances of like all the moments that, yeah, you kind of skim over later. Yeah. Yeah. I've been journaling for years for that reason because I feel like when I'm an old ass lady I'm gonna be like wow I had an interesting life you do have an interesting life I do I really do but I did want to ask about your relationship with weed because on deeper well you said I used to wake and bake yeah roll out of bed I know it was girl it yeah I don't know why at one point in my life I was like let me get as high as possible before I do anything I feel that I really I was that way and then I took a nine month break and now I'm back on the wagon you are I am I kind of am too a little bit to be honest okay really because rhinestone yeah which you can get rhinestone in a lot of different ways you know pick your poison but um yeah like it's funny everyone was like she doesn't smoke weed anymore I was like I never said I didn't smoke weed I'm just saying I don't hit a gravity bong right when I wake up that was made out of a two liter and you put it in a water bucket it's i don't need to whatever it's fine but um but yeah like here and there i've been kind of like dabbling again maybe not i'm not these people that do like the shatter and the wax and damn i don't even know what you just said what is that it's so it's just a method it's a form of um weed it's like a condensed very like concentrated form and it it will like it'll send you yeah we'll send you to like yeah um but anyways yeah but just like a chill like I'm a one puff girl really we're taking one puff and then if you cough oh you're you're done it's I'm going inward yeah I'm gonna go I'm gonna get non-verbal after that so I just you know a little bit let's you know just take the edge off I think it makes me nicer I think it makes me nicer too But then I think the come down of it, I reach a little bit of mania.

36:37Oh, really? And that's why I had to stop. Because for these like 20 minutes, I would have these like grandiose ideas. And like those ideas being like literally like the dumbest things in the entire world. What if they were like kind of genius? To me at the time they were. But then the mania, I would get so paranoid. It caused such paranoia that I was like, I need to stop. The paranoia does. Yeah, I don't like that. Or anxiety. I'm like just anything. Let's mitigate the anxiety. anything to just get that out. Right, right. And that's what, yeah. But yeah, anyway, a little bit of dabble. Have you written any of your songs while high?

37:12Little seeds of ideas come from being high. I think I wrote some down the other day, actually. I'm going to love to hear this. We'll see what I have. Don't hold your breath. Well, one of the things I wrote down is, but do aliens believe in me? Really think about it? That's it. And then I also put separate. I feel like I'm in the presence of greatness. But then this is another one I wrote down the other day. I had a dream that I wrote a song called I Wish I Was My Boyfriend. I love that. I wish I was my boyfriend. Oh, please keep going. This is like, I feel like. I do want to write a song though.

37:52And it's like it has yet to be written. But I think the breaking news has finally broken me. I think there's a song in there. Anyway. Yeah, there's a song in there. um wow that is really beautiful but i have a shitload of things in here doesn't mean it's should all be said but um maybe oh this was one i kind of feel like i feel like maybe i don't know if this is more of a girl relatable idea but like writing about a friend breakup oh no no no i i relate there's something about like when like you when you pivot in a friendship and you know you have to let go of a friend specifically I feel like in female relationships I feel like female friendships get they're so intimate um that it's almost sometimes more and not in a sexual way it's just it can be more intimate than um like a romantic relationship with like your boyfriend or whatever like I don't know friendship breakups suck it's almost like you're losing a sibling in a way or something it has that same kind of feeling it's like um yeah like a soul sister or whatever that's it's it's really not not fun I don't like that feeling you know but I mean also friendships I think are meant to ebb and flow and I don't know people just kind of it's not like on purpose sometimes you know um you actually have a lyric that I listen to sometimes when I think about my friendship breakups and it's like uh it's on deeper well it's it's uh it's some when things lose their shine it's natural when things it's it's no regrets baby I just I just think that maybe it's natural when things lose their shine and for that that lyric for me is kind of so healing because it's like things are supposed to think you can't be shiny forever yeah and I know for you that might have been about a relationship or whatever but for me the way that I listen to it and I take it is I do listen to it and think about like friendships past and yeah you know and you never know things can circle back around with people like sometimes you just need to pause if it's don't force it you know what I mean I think it's hard I just think it's like lonelier than a breakup because friends are like family there is something there is something different about it and that's I think just what I wrote down on my phone is like there I don't know that I've heard maybe there is a song out there but like a song about breaking up with a friend you know what I I mean, I'm sure there is.